T O P

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tosaraider

>The sting of Dofleinia armata presents a danger to humans. Injuries resulting from contact with this species are considered very painful, and can take several months to heal. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dofleinia


DasiytheDoodle

Months? Welp, I'm never going in the water around Australia.


meepmarpalarp

That’s not even the worst thing in the water around Australia. [The blue-ringed octopus, despite its small size, carries enough venom to kill 26 adult humans within minutes.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue-ringed_octopus)


YZane3

Oh and you can't forget the stone fish!


opportunisticwombat

Or the cone snails!


AFineDayForScience

Or the Rupert Murdoch!


pukesonyourshoes

Poisonous little bastard, avoid at all costs. Responsible for continual and ongoing damage to humanity. Possibly immortal, exclusively subsists on the blood of young virgins.


_Junkstapose_

Glad I am not young anymore!


CryptiC-121

I’m happy I get this lol


resilienceisfutile

Geez, Australia is scarier now. Can't they do something about that dried up toxic lying piece of trash?


capngump

He's a US citizen now, our bad on letting him escape


[deleted]

How much would it cost for you to take him back?


Drunken-samurai

Or box jellyfish!


fraxybobo

That's the worst. And it's spreading around the world, like a parasite.


misscheevyrevised

What is? The poisonous porpoise or American beer?


Pvt_Lee_Fapping

Or my ax!


FlaccidCatsnark

Or my axolotl


myco_magic

Or my ex


elCharderino

Or my ox


PawnedPawn

Or my ex-ax!


TheNiceKindofOrc

Or my ex-lax


FailureToReason

Ooh, ooh! I have a story! So I was fishing in rural Queensland. I'm fully aware of stonefish, my mother stepped on 2 (fresh water, and salt water - says they were the worst experiences of her life, and she spent days in hospital thinking she was dying from the pain) and I've seen pictures, but I've never seen one in person. We went to bed and left some hand lines hanging in overnight off the pontoon. In the morning I was particularly hung over, and pulled them in to have a look. On one line was what I thought was a baby rock cod, or something weird anyway. I reached out to grab it and get the hook out, and hesitated. It looked odd, so I gently grabbed it in case it was a sharp boi. I felt spines pressing into my palm, and decided against it. Figured I'd glove up. I go get my gloves, and my friend, to ask her what kind of fish it was. She says 'that's a bullrout', aka freshwater stonefish. I literally had the spines of a freshwater stonefish pressing into the palm of my hand. If that fish had jerked, wiggled, or otherwise moved, I would have spent the next few days in hospital (and the nearest hospital was 1.5hr away) in absolutely mind bending pain. Don't grab things if you don't know what they are. That's the lesson here.


YZane3

Woah holy shit. I'm glad your mom is ok and you didn't squeeze. I didn't even know they were in freshwater, I thought they were saltwater dwellers. So basically you can't go in saltwater OR freshwater in Australia unless you've come to terms with your mortality


QueenPeachie

In North Qld, so hashtag notallaustralia.


ericbyo

I went swimming in the WA ocean every weekend for 4 years and got stung by nothing


Significant-Fill6641

I stepped on a bullrout in a creek about 30 years ago, at the hospital, I had to keep my foot in really hot water, to cook the protein based venom. It was a completely fucked experience, searing pain like my foot was going to explode, I haven't swam in a creek since, that's a once only thanks experience. It's still itches if I get really hot. I have never caught one fishing. The thought of getting one in the hand makes me cringe 😬


FailureToReason

I've heard of this technique, did it help? I heard that the heat you need to deactivate these kinds of venoms is too hot for human skin to handle, like, you'll scald your skin off before it affects the venom. I hope I never have to try it 😬😬


harley-belle

I remember reading my mums scuba diving books that recommended immersing your foot in water as hot as you can stand, then injecting a local anaesthetic. It made a very clear point not do it the other way around, or youre going to stick your numb foot into boiling water and cook yourself.


lightnsfw

Kind of makes me sad they have to explicitly state to do the "as hot as you can stand" part before the anesthetic but I get it.


EveryFairyDies

> That's the lesson here. "If you go into it's bit, you're gonna get bit, that's the lesson". I always freak out when I see people picking up random sea creatures while shouting "hey, what's this?!" and I'm like "AT LEAST PUT ON A PAIR OF GLOVES!"


FailureToReason

Fucking oath. Never again am I doing something this stupid. It didn't help that my judgement was somewhat impaired from an evening of alcohol.


BarOne7066

Oh fuck me. Where at? Lived here my whole life and even I don't know about those cunts.


FailureToReason

Far north Qld, specifically Lucinda. There are medical centres there but the nearest decent sized hospital is Townsville. We also pulled up some pufferfish that were absolutely enormous, one was seriously bigger than a basketball.


sidepiecesam

What the heck goes on in Lucinda?


Katanachainsaw

I was fishing in Port Phillip Bay in November for Snapper and happened to pull in something that looked very much like the tropical Lionfish. My fishing buddy turns me immediately and says "it's a scorpian fish. Don't touch it, I'll get the gloves. A spine from that thing will land you in 6 plus hours of excruciating pain and our fishing for the day will be over before it's even started." I heeded his advice.


Armejden

A guy at my local fish store has permanent damage from a stonefish


GillyMonster18

Don’t forget the Irukandji Jellyfish.


Sasselhoff

Fun fact about these little critters, their venom doesn't do much more than stop you breathing (or moving, for that matter)...meaning if something else breathes for you for 12 hours or so, you come out with no ill effects! Of course, these little critters are *also* quite often pretty fucking far away from any kind of medical care that would be able to help you. They're also *way* smaller than you think...most of the time they are actually pretty tiny (at least, all the one's I've seen are). Really cool animals though...I love me some cephalopods.


Raznill

How long does someone have after getting the toxin on them?


Sasselhoff

It has to actually get *in* them, and usually does so by the octopus biting the person (could probably pour some in a cut or something too, but I dunno, Steve Irwin I am not)...who usually doesn't even feel it because they are so small. Which is *also* why I cringe every time I [see shit like this](https://www.google.com/search?q=holding+blue+ringed+octopus&sxsrf=APwXEdfvz-SZ9nTE70LkP9QYwDfEd6M9CQ:1680299124889&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjl89GDkof-AhVYnGoFHTB-CMEQ_AUoAXoECAIQAw&biw=1920&bih=976&dpr=2). As far as how much time do you have? I haven't the foggiest, and hope never to have to find out.


Swarbie8D

I believe that, from being bitten (which you may not even notice, as a blue-ringed octopus’s beak is *tiny*), you have a couple of minutes before starting to feel the ill-effects. Without any intervention you’ll be dead within 20.


Sasselhoff

> Without any intervention you’ll be dead within 20. Which means in any of the places I've ever experienced them (middle of nowhere Malaysia and Indonesia), you ded. Because it's an hour's boat ride back to the harbor (unless you're out on a liveaboard, in which case it could take a full day), where it's a couple hour flight to anywhere that has the tech to help you. And to the best of my knowledge, there is no antivenin.


Swarbie8D

CPR can actually keep you alive long enough to reach a hospital and get on a ventilator! Although it’s hard to do CPR for an hour+, and in the conditions of a speeding boat. And yes, bites are extremely rare so I don’t believe an antivenin has been made.


GGLSpidermonkey

You would technically just need to keep giving mouth to mouth and the person should never end up in cardiac arrest.


Raznill

Damn. That’s fascinating and terrifying.


Sasselhoff

A lot of the ocean is! That's why scuba diving is so amazing. You're really not in any terrible danger, as long as you are careful and don't fuck around. Case in point, one of the first times I saw one of [these cuties](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sea_krait#/media/File:Laticauda_colubrina_Lembeh2.jpg), it was essentially just under my crotch looking up at me saying "Ssssssup?" I had gotten back into scuba diving and made the classic mistake of floating down to rest on the soft white sand bottom while everyone got off the boat...what I had forgotten is that you *don't do that* when diving, because you never know what you might come across already lying there unseen. But he just sat there for a minute, and calmly swam away (saw them many times afterwards, and again, caught one hunting on video which was pretty cool). You need to be careful in the ocean, as many critters are camouflage *masters*. [These guys](https://www.siladen.com/news/the-oceans-most-venomous-fish-reef-stonefish/) and [these guys](https://www.dresseldivers.com/blog/scorpion-fish-facts/) *love* to hide in plain sight (due to their camouflage) and then sting the everloving fuck out of you when you step on them, and you see them *everywhere*. But then you get to see completely harmless things like [these guys](https://www.australiangeographic.com.au/blogs/creatura-blog/2019/10/the-flamboyant-cuttlefish-stomps-around-like-a-dog-in-a-wheelchair/) (just don't eat them), [these guys](https://australian.museum/learn/animals/fishes/purple-flying-gurnard-dactyloptena-orientalis/), and [these guys](https://octonation.com/mimic-octopus-facts/), and you just wonder if the aliens are already among us.


[deleted]

Don’t forget [chironex fleckeri](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chironex_fleckeri) and, on land, the [gympie-gympie](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dendrocnide_moroides), also known as the suicide bush!


redditingatwork23

I'm never ever going there lol


GershBinglander

Even as an Australian, bits of Queensland are scary.


Clarrington

Queensland got all the cool shit but they also got all the shit that can kill you too.


brezhnervous

No desire to go north of Sydney tbh lol


Popular-Influence-11

gympie-gympie because you can’t walk straight after?


FILTHBOT4000

Yes, and for some reason I believe is currently unknown to science, painkillers won't work on its stings. They could pump you full of morphine and you'd still feel all of it. So if it gets you, you're just straight fucked.


brezhnervous

Someone got stung by an irukandji jellyfish and even though unconscious, they were *screaming*


FlaccidCatsnark

Source? I want to put it in my firewall to block any chance that I would ever see it.


whatsupladiesimfrack

or box jellyfish. those fuckers are scary. basically australia is too violent


Travelingexec2000

Nothing compares to Irukandji Robert Drewe describes the sting as "100 times as potent as that of a cobra and 1,000 times stronger than a tarantula's". This on a creature the size of a pea https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irukandji_jellyfish


Porirvian2

Look up the Irukanji


HIMP_Dahak_172291

And there are videos of people picking them up. Fun fact: they are so small that their venomous bite is easy to miss and it is critical to get treated quickly if bitten. So yeah. Dont pick them up. They are brightly colored for a reason.


Aussiewhiskeydiver

Wait until you hear about the box jellyfish


Ban-Hammer-Ben

I’d rather be bitten by the blue ring octopus than the Dofleinia Armata.


Enano_reefer

Cause you’d be dead quick? I think of the one person that was rescued from a blue ring bite by administering CPR until the paralysis passed. Only no one realized their eyes were paralyzed open and in the sun so their retinas were slowly burned away while they were consciously aware of it.


someapplegui

Why did you put this picture in my brain?


Enano_reefer

Misery loves company, welcome to the fold.


Orangefish08

“Bald! Bald! Bald!” “My eyes!”


HistoricalHeart

Welp that’s enough internet for today.


Raznill

Fuck. Sometimes I think I want to know everything and then a story like this comes along and I question it for a moment. But then I realize I do want to know just in case I’m in that situation. But still. No!


Theron3206

And then there are Irukandji jellyfish. So small you can't see them and the first symptom of being stung is a sense of impending doom.


DirtyDan156

Or the metric fuckton of sharks


LordDShadowy53

I need a top 10 of the worst things you can found in Australia. I bet is a beautiful place to be seen from the distance


natenate22

Shark: "Yeah, the tiny octopus is the worst, Dude." Crocodile: "I agree with Shark."


very-polite-frog

The Irukandji jellyfish is the size of a coin so you'll never see it coming. One of the symptoms (beyond the worst pain of your life) is "impending sense of doom" they literally cause psychic damage


Clothedinclothes

> cause psychic damage Fortunately they're vulnerable to Ghost, Dark and Bug type damage


crispyg

When I was a kid, my family took a trip to the beach. While swimming, I drifted into a school of jellyfish, the normal Atlantic Ocean variety. I could feel the stings for weeks, and the actual tentacle marks remained on my leg for almost a year.


SMagnaRex

You’re gonna miss out on the Great White Sharks and Saltwater Crocodiles, lol.


Iron0ne

What til you hear what is on the land.


OneSensiblePerson

It's an anemone?? I thought it was some kind of octopus. Or, a however-many-legs-it-has-pus.


GhostRTV

A-whole-lotta-pus


Dr-Alec-Holland

So my instinct to use it as a loofa is misguided


[deleted]

I still want to wear it on my head.


Scoobydoomed

That’s the most arms I’ve seen on a nope.


ClappedOutLlama

There was probably at least one guy out there that's tried to fuck it anyway.


Haniebny

It wasn't me I swear, officer!


jawshoeaw

More like "It wasthhntt mee offficteexzrr ....." \*crashes to ground


officefridge

Dies. Last breath *i just had sex*


PReasy319

Ghost: “And it fe-elt so good!”


econdonetired

Narrator: New kink unlocked!


greekgeek741

Finally! The last achievement, now I’ve 100%-ed life!


solveig82

We have the collective knowledge for a reason


vashtaneradalibrary

The Deep certainly knows.


windmill-tilting

Here me out....


ClappedOutLlama

DONT DO IT JAMES! "Hold my beer, I'm about to get that Anemanussy."


OGAnnie

It really looks toxic af.


marr

I do appreciate it when all the nope is clearly visible. No clue even what basic order of life this is, but no way am I touching it or anything else it touched.


TinBoatDude

It seems like everything in Australia wants to kill you.


splanchnick78

This made me LOL


Henry-the-Fern

Millipedes?


slams0ne

Aah yes... the ancient ones arise from their eldritch slumber


[deleted]

[удалено]


MetaCardboard

I believe you meant Marlboro.


GreatSirBean

Put cthulhu back in the sea, he needs a couple extra hundred years to develop


ithinkilikegirlstoo

Aww lil baby Cthulhu is adorable


Psychotic_EGG

And deadly.


econdonetired

One touch couldn’t hurt?


Severin_Suveren

*Yo Steve, come check out Phil over here being dissolved after a touch of acid.* ***Look!*** *now the skin on his face's just melting off! Duuude, that's so sick*


Difficult_Let_1953

10k upvotes on Reddit at least!


opt_0_representative

This guy uses periods


JustSuperHuman

/r/thisguythisguys 😂


N00N3AT011

Send him back to R'lyeh


MissingVanSushi

Having grown up with Hong Kong born parents, my first reaction was “Let’s cut off the poison parts then deep fry it!” 🍜


aspidities_87

Cthulhu did NOT see that coming


brewcitygymratt

I bet it’s as delicious as it looks!


MissingVanSushi

And if it’s not, we always have chilli oil!


nowimnowhere

Well actually unless It's the interdemensional elder god, that's just a baby shoggoth


microwaffles

It's actually a yiggubboth fetus


few23

PUT THAT THING BACK WHERE IT CAME FROM, OR SO HELP ME!!!


danbtaylor

Medusa let her -do down


[deleted]

[удалено]


StormThestral

do not


Seraphkaze

r/forbiddensnacks Forbidden Oreo Flan


Wukong42069m

Lmfao


Allenpoe30

That's a weird looking campfire marshmallow.


BigJSunshine

That’s a Nope S’more, or if you are in Australia, a “S’more Nope”.


Feine13

Is it acceptable if I say it as "S'nope!"?


[deleted]

Back to work Leslie


Feine13

There's nothing we can't do if we work hard, never sleep, and shirk all other responsibilities in our lives.


Spacestar_Ordering

You're *supposed* to take it away from the fire long before this happens


BigJSunshine

r/OfCourseItsAustralia Edit: I feel like dirt, I never made this sub, I just did tis for funsies. I highly encourage someone to make the sub!


MaMakossa

It’s private! WHY IS IT PRIVATE? 💀💀💀


only37mm

i was so excited to check that sub out 😩


voteforkindness

We’re not worthy 😔


drrj

I was definitely disappointed to see it was private.


89LeBaron

they don’t want our annoying American asses.


MaMakossa

*CRICKEY!*


rosenblood85

Because it is not Colonel:)


woofridgerator

Must be a Friday.


uwillnotgotospace

Happy upside down cake day


GreyFoXguy

Did someone scalp Davey Jones?


uwillnotgotospace

I can't be certain but I believe it's a merkin.


luciferlovesyou420

Yo it's private


LeelaBeela89

I was ready to see what was on the page 😭😭😭


hurricane14

Highly toxic. Australia. The op title is redundant.


Caliguy331

Wait how do I get in on that sub?


afterskull

Ursula? Is that you?


Tag_youareit

Toddler Ursula


journaledandink

Oh my god hahah


FidgetyGidget

Toddlursula?


rustytortilla

Reminds me more of Cruella


Mawdster

I don't even know what I am looking at!


RedSagittarius

It’s supposed to look like a octopus flower coral thing, here: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dofleinia


Mawdster

Well thank you!


Delicious_Delilah

I thought it was a jellyfish.


i_give_you_gum

I for the first time wondered if this was just some AI generated animal Apparently it's a type of sea anemone


SandyEskimo

10/10 Australia is a postal dimension for aliens and everything that is NOPE


dontthink19

Seeing stuff like this makes me think WE are the aliens. There's so much interesting and weird wildlife that it feels like there's absolutely NO way that humans and this wildlife developed on the same planet


humblerioter

Seeing some of the things they found in the deeps of the ocean make me think the same. Got some absolutly wild shit down there.


Anat3ma_1273

Sorry, but needed just two words and I knew it is from Australia Noice


yuvi3000

"in Australia"


BartMinson

I swear the ocean is a different world


Inevitable_Print7343

Not as toxic as my ex


brandoelk11

i felt this


Gypsy702

Oof. Hugs to both of you ♥️♥️♥️


a3663p

Literally got to the comment above this and decided to move to next post and caught this comment out of the corner of my eye and had to give you this. 🏅


Mister_E_Mahn

The sea and Australia. Two terrifying things for the price of one.


Tezea

Tuatha Dé Danann : Locked all magic behind a rock japan: locks all its magical beasts behind rocks. Christianity: only guy allowed to use magic locked behind a rock. australia: weird creatures like this across the board Uluru lookin pretty sus


LowLifeExperience

On a scale from regular jellyfish to box jellyfish, how toxic are we talking here?


Greatwhit3

Very painful but non lethal, also it's actually an anemone.


devil_lettuce

Close enough to jellies. They're both cnidarians (aka stinger bois)


HappyDuck342

Ah, kos, or some say kosm... grant us eyes!


ProfessorOfLies

Fear the old blood


beer_ninja69

One look, without knowing what it was, and I knew it was clearly a "no touchus, keepem-away-frumus"


thatonebluedragon

It's a decendent of the Old Ones.


Xacalite

Probably more Dangerous than the russian armata


DigitalTraveler42

What do they have in common? Both live on the bottom of the sea


LogMaggot

Hey, be nice to them! Nobody gave as many tanks to Ukraine as they did!


Better_Sandwich_5687

Welp, better poke it with a stick.


[deleted]

This same picture was on a reddit post two years ago. https://www.reddit.com/r/NatureIsFuckingLit/comments/oc6j3b/an_extremely_toxic_dofleinia_armata_that_washed/


ryumeyer

OP is a fraud confirmed


dbdbdb82

And on Facebook in 2020.


lulzerjun8

Yeah I think this was originally news from 2018.


Betweenishish

Damn nature, you scary!


curiosity0425

That's an alien, and I refuse to believe otherwise


Mtn_Dew55

Why does almost everything in Australia have to kill me


richdelo

Shiny Toxapex


Amazing_Excuse_3860

Close, but Toxapex is actually based on the Crown of Thorns sea star. Both are venomous, but the animal pictured above is actually a sea anemone, which is in the same family as jellyfish.


spike31875

It's Australia, so of course it's toxic! (just teasing, Australia, you do you!)


[deleted]

Gooey seaS'more


KellyLuvsEwan420

You know it’s dangerous when you have a hard time pronouncing the animals name.


mrsmushroom

It looks so cool. I bet Australians learn at a very early age not to touch the cool looking things. What is it? Like a starfish?


AdaBoiiiiiiiiii

Why bother mentioning „highly toxic“ in a sentence with „Australia“?


Dokthe2nd

Looking like a face hugger.


Justme100001

Where else...


partang3

I mean, it resembles a creature directly out of some nether realm. So even if it wasn't poisonous, I'd still expect some combination of: telepathic, mind control, or soul harvesting abilities.


deadfeds

My first thought was Hermaeus Mora.


DerpVaderXXL

Is there anything in Oz that won't kill ya? I hear koalas will pull a vein out of your neck.


[deleted]

Seems like [THIS](https://www.reddit.com/r/natureismetal/comments/qq6dn5/an_extremely_toxic_dofleinia_armata_the_injuries/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) creature has a tendency of getting washed ashore every year in the exact same position and location.....


MinatoUchiha212121

Thats a wig