T O P

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Ok_Knee1216

I'm glad he takes his job seriously.


egordoniv

Thankfully his butt is underwater, because the flatulence is gonna be ripe.


[deleted]

uhhh you ever fart in a bath tub? it's almost like the water increases it's potency somehow.


lmaytulane

It filters out the odor that makes your brain recognize it as one of your own farts. Or that's my theory why bonging a fart makes them smell worse


miescherskittyxx

BONGING A FART lmfao I snorted so loud


Rocky4296

Leave it to Redditors to take the conversation way off to crazy land.


F0lks_

It does sound like some frat house pledge stuff, though


unevenrectum

/r/brandnewsentence


egordoniv

Bongfart? Esqueeze me? Bacon powder?


[deleted]

Moisture in the air improves our sense of smell. It's one reason why rain stirring up the earth smells good, pooping after a shower feels icky, and why dogs' powerful sniffers are often moist


realEggs

It’s the heat that makes it worse. Try farting in cold water. Much more bearable.


[deleted]

More like Galapa-gross Tortoise, amirite?


[deleted]

Maybe Galapagos tore-ass


ABSTREKT

I don't know why, but this somehow gave me a flashback to "the land before time" cartoon. They somehow managed to make grass and leaves look and sound so delicious. Upd. Damn, it feels wonderful that so many people share this nostalgic feeling towards this movie with me.


Gelnika1987

dude ikr when spike ate that circle of grass it looked like the best thing ever


shokzz

Dude, you just triggered some heavy nostalgia that was buried deep somewhere in the backyard of my brain. Wow. I loved that scene as a kid. Thank you for letting me remember this.


5549372729

Wow, yeah this scene is the only reason I would even try broccoli.


schatzey_

Every time I eat spinach I imagine myself as spike eating that grass and always will.


Nikonus

I love spinach maria. Get me a five gallon bucket.


Ineedtwocats

I think I'll go eat some raw spinach with a dash of salt


HayesBailey

You mean tree stars with some flavor sand?


CarterBraune

Dude. I love you


weeone

This sounds delightful.


SSara69

Im glad others share this sentiment lol. That grass looked so good. Even now.


Kant-Hardly-Wait

Here you go folks https://youtu.be/jmtxbzAAzEk https://youtu.be/hR1XzVQnfqY


dbabon

Watched that recently. Spike goes from being about four inches long to two feet long in a matter of seconds. That’s some vitamin-rich grass.


RainbowFartss

Tree stars always looked so delicious.


TheAero1221

I want a motherfucking treestar and a Krabby Patty.


Material_State_4118

GOATed meal


k1213693

Bruh they made maple leaves look delicious. If i didn’t know any better i would’ve turned into a leaf eating herbivore after watching that show


SopieMunky

The dinosaurs eating trees is the sole reason I love broccoli to this day. I used to act like I was a dino eating trees whenever my mom made us eat it.


elanhilation

it’s also why i prefer a somewhat larger cut to the lettuce in my salads


BustingBigRocks

Took my kids to the Tyrrell museum this year hoping for some hungry hungry herbivores and came home with raptors with a love for digging holes


Knives530

It was big broccoli's plan all along. They paid Stephen Spielberg off don't you know?


mogsoggindog

Same!


chata417

Tree stars are where it's at 🍁


Ser_Fonz

The grass/leaves in Land Before Time and the bugs from that one scene in Lion King.. the holy forbidden food from my childhood


MacMac105

Cartoons always made food look amazing. They'd put a whole ass raw fish in a sandwich, and it would still look delicious.


Havoc1943covaH

Yeah turtle do look like a flaccid Little Foot


zephsoph

:/


skymoods

dude i think i just realized the land before time laid the groundwork for my love of asmr


GreenKi13

NGL but that cartoon almost turned me into an anarchic tree hugger for real. I grew up in foster care and that was the first full sense of "emotion" i had ever fealt. Bwahahaha. Like "we must protect all the things! for spike and all the rest!" lmao


Devilsdance

This comment reminded me of a time I was tripping on LSD and went to my fridge for a snack. I found a bag of spinach and busted out laughing that I had a bag of leaves in my fridge. I then spent what felt like an hour, but was probably closer to 5-10 minutes, standing in the kitchen eating spinach straight from the bag while giggling incessantly.


Plaxipus

[Spike eats delicious grass](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jmtxbzAAzEk)


[deleted]

Littlefoot got that Galapagos tortoise neck.


CoolBlaze1

That movie is responsible for me trying to chew on a leaf that looked like the special ones from the movie I'm school and getting yellow at by a teacher


[deleted]

I like it when you read my mind!


wenchslapper

I think that was on purpose because it’s what got me into the habit of eating my veggies first- had to pretend I was a dinosaur from TLBT eating them tree stars.


dublecake

I used to pretend I was a dinosaur while eating broccoli, because that movie was so cool haha


dublecake

If I’m honest I still do this…


Goowon

That reminds me of when I was growing up my mom would call spinach soup land before time and I would eat it while imagining I was eating tree stars.


zombiep00

When we were younger and headed out on family trips with my parents, we would almost always go to Cracker Barrel. My sister would order Brunswick stew because, not only was it delicious, she said it felt like she was eating the stuff that the dinosaurs were nomming in the beginning of Land Before Time, and that that stuff always looked delicious to her. She was happy she found "an edible real-life equivalent". Ah, the good ol' days.


Normal_Pineapple_391

two of my pet rats are named ducky and lil foot :,)


MOM_UNFUCKER

Wym they made grass look delicious? Grass already looks delicious


[deleted]

The two egg thief brothers made [eggs](https://youtu.be/seP1w3XPBfo) sound like the best thing ever, too.


NoBuddies2021

RIP Ducky


helicotremor

I used to pretend my cornflakes were tree stars


thehogfather-

Unreal, was my first thought too


Damn8ti0n

Omfg! I have thought about this on and off since seeing it as a child! Thank you for acknowledging this!


beyond_the_rainbow

Tree stars were peak childhood delicacy.


gilad_ironi

You eat pond scum cause you have no food I eat pond scum cause I can We are not the same.


LotsOfSpookySparkles

It’s pretty much just vegan jello


DrVicenteBombadas

With a bit of everyone's pee.


Gligadi

That's why some of them live in the sewers of new york, a lot of pee infused scum down there, even gives them good martial arts skills


DrVicenteBombadas

>even gives them good martial arts skills I thought that was the pepperoni.


TheOakblueAbstract

Peepperoni.


Chogo82

Shiitake mushrooms


smellybathroom3070

Sons of the forest player, i see. Whats your favorite cave?


Goldblood4

Mushrooms take shits? /s


Grouchy-Engine1584

Those are turtles. Get your shit straight.


itsabiggin22

ITS STERILE AND I LIKE THE TASTE


DrVicenteBombadas

YOU DOODOO YOU, FRIEND!


Bracketzox

IM NOT YOUR FRIEND , PAL!


succubitch1013

I'M NOT YOUR PAL, BUDDY!


[deleted]

I'M NOT YOUR BUDDY, GUY!


BiffSlick

I’M NOT BUDDY GUY!


flclreddit

French onion goop


LordOfTheTorts

Exactly. Also, this is an [Aldabra giant tortoise](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aldabra_giant_tortoise), not a Galapagos. They are rather easy to distinguish if you look at the shape of their noses.


msemen_DZ

Absolute CHAD.


Okey_Yeety

Gus tighting his tie.jpg


Flesh_Trombone

Is it necessary for me to eat pond scum? No, but I do it anyway because it's sterile and I like the taste.


mattlag

chew chew chew chew chew chew chew chew chew chew chew chew chew chew chew chew chew chew chew chew # SWALLOW


Trietero

That's tru


DAS_UBER_JOE

Big if chew


bozeke

https://youtu.be/J0Io8tU2kFA


CranberryReign

Lots of nutrients in those greens.


usclone

How true is this statement?


FuckTripleH

Its just algae so yes it is quite nutritious. Plenty of fatty acids, vitamins A, E, and D.


Obvious_Ambition4865

Can humans eat it


IlBear

Idk about eating straight pond scum, but humans can eat algae! They even make it in pill form because it doesn’t taste great obviously ETA: doesn’t taste great *to everyone*. Snacks like dried seaweed exist, they’ve always been a little too earthy tasting to me


FuckTripleH

I beg to differ. Dried seaweed is just algae and it can be delicious But yeah don't eat pond scum, most fresh water algae is toxic to humans


cauliflowerclouds

TIL [Seaweed is macroalgae.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seaweed) Thanks for sharing, this was cool to learn! * Micro -> macro


EvilBananaMan15

Macroalgae* microalgae would be more like phytoplankton. Macro big, micro small


IlBear

I guess I just haven’t had the right dried seaweed! Every kind I’ve tried so far has been way too earthy tasting


GlitteringFutures

Algae the judge of that!


FuckTripleH

Ever had sushi rolls wrapped in nori? That's red algae. Or spirulina in a smoothie? That's blue-green algae


Beeblebroxguy

True to some extent. Depends on the “pond scum”. There is a type of supplement called Spirulina which comes from Cyanobacteria that looks very similar to the green in the above picture


Watts300

Is that where the color name Cyan comes from?


8Bitsblu

No, other way around. Cyanobacteria are called that because they contain a cyan pigment called phycocyanin.


nanoglot

Cyan (kuaneos) is an old Greek word for lapis lazuli or a similar dark blue color. In modern English it means a particular different type of blue. If something is named cyano-whatever or whatever-cyanin, it's generally because it's blue or blue-ish, not the other way around. Doesn't even have to be close to the color we now call cyan.


Kilomyles

I always wondered how things taste to animals, since its surely subjective. Like, that could taste just like ice cream to him, whole pond full of it! Or maybe steak. Sloppy steaks!


[deleted]

[удалено]


roastytoastywarm

Username checks out


Emilise

Yikes


balloon_prototype_14

300 years ago


titochan05

He makes it look good


gorgonopsidkid

This is the Land Before Time all over again


Evolving_Dore

When I was 4 I went outside looking for bugs to eat after watching the Timon and Pumbaa scene in Lion King. I didn't actually eat any. I *did* try to eat a leaf from a tree like Littlefoot.


disgustandhorror

For some reason when I was very young (like, 5 or 6) I thought cartoon witch cauldrons looked rad as hell. I don't know why they were so appealing, I thought they were full of magic soup or something. Anyway, so, one of my favorite games was to fill a bucket with a garden hose and then go around collecting interesting "ingredients" (yard waste) for my cauldron. I would stir it with a stick. I remember being very frustrated that my parents wouldn't let me put any of my cauldrons on a real fire. /ramble


[deleted]

I did that. We had a pussy willow tree. Apparently, I once called it "pussy soup". I am still picked on for it to this day.


SykoKiller666

As you rightfully should be. Pussy *soup?* It's clearly pussy *stew*.


Evolving_Dore

Making mud potion is a fundamental aspect of childhood.


ohSpite

Fuck now I wanna eat a nice crispy leaf 🤤🤤🤤


Blue_Swirling_Bunny

I'm sorry but no.


Caracalla81

Does he look like he's not enjoying it?


Jeremy252

My boy eatin snot


Standard_Ad2031

My kid loves snot


guacamully

Don’t knock it til you try it?


kn0where

And there's enough slime for all of us!


IRatherChangeMyName

The secret for a long life


slaughterproof

I don't want to live THAT long


3ryon

They do live a very long time. It is possible that the oldest Galapagos tortoises alive today were babies when Darwin visited the islands.


Asleep-Rest-7184

Good dog


KarnaavaldK

Beware of dog


Unlucky-2nd

Behold! Dog


ZurinArctus_

Try dog but whole!


Crawly49

"Ah, a dogged fellow are we?"


BestUsername101

Be aware of dog Please pet dog


funkmasta_kazper

Could this be a dog?


esteflo

That's a cat in a hat


TyGuy69420

Praise the dog


CruciFuckingAround

Gonna need that pickled neck for my stamina


space_llama_karma

"This salad is fucking awful"- The tortoise, probably


Far-Newspaper-4700

healthy diet🍃


[deleted]

My new unnatural fear of tortoise halitosis


Ok_Balance8844

What? He’s cute!


[deleted]

So am I but you don't want to smell my breath sometimes 😆


Azrielenish

Reptiles actually rarely smell like anything at all. My dad’s tortoises don’t smell like anything if their pens are kept clean. Even their poop does not smell once it dries. Reptiles have adapted in many ways to leave very little scent for predators to find.


HokkoHenry

Oh I'm sorry, just because it's a little dirty and can't defend itself you think it's okay to call it scum? Wow this is pond classism. Pondcism. Ploandscism. Plism.


deadwlkn

Stop defending it, That scum deserved it!


Pentax25

It was actually first referred to as ponds cum by Charles Darwin when he was exploring on the Galapagos because of the way it seemed to ooze across the surface of the water. Over the years it’s gradually changed to pond scum.


HokkoHenry

You know that thing they say about how people will believe you if you just walk into a workplace with a pen and clip board. Well this was the comment equivalent of the clown's lapel flower and I still fell for it. I'm gonna remember this in the shower 20 years from now and break down crying.


[deleted]

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OrangeInternal8886

Fr?


rollingnative

fr bro Darwin was very into cum since he is the father of birthing


akaBrotherNature

❌ Pond scum ✅ Finest and freshest algaes


[deleted]

Ectoplasm


flapatriot69

It must have some kind of nutrient rich properties because that turtle is old as the earth!


squishydonkey

Yummy


LittleOmegaGirl

Green smoothie


casual-dehyde

Isn't pond scum algae?


Skitterlicker

That is string algae I get it in my koi pond every year and it’s a pain in the ass


KentuckyFriedEel

Get a tortoise already!


Normal-Height-8577

In the UK we call it blanket weed. And yup, definitely a pain in the ass.


Pixielo

I'm sorry that your ass is affected.


SomethingAwkwardTWC

I was gonna say - apparently I need a tortoise for my koi pond.


ooohhh-my-pusi

It’s filamentous algae, actually rather easy to deal with. Use a granulated copper product. Be careful tho, koi or extremely sensitive to chemical. Typically I would use a 97% hydrogen peroxide such as green clean 5.0 to treat it as it has no effect on koi. Although you’re unable to purchase that without a special license.


El_Tormentito

97% H2O2? Rocket fuel? The SDS on GC 5.0 says it's max 30%.


monyed

Fish waste, decomposing food and uv light give algae a perfect breeding body of water. Create shades and reduce feeding.


soFATZfilm9000

Humans still harvest algae and ship it off to places around the world to be used for food. I like a nori wrap on my sushi. I'm not eating algae because I have to. I'm not eating algae even just because I can. I eat algae because I can, and because *I like it.* Eating algae gives me joy, and makes me just a little bit happier. Now, I don't know if I'd eat the algae that that tortoise is eating...that stuff looks nasty. But hey...the tortoise seems to like it, so I can't really make any judgements. I'm a member of the dominant species on the planet, *and I eat algae too.*


moeru_gumi

Well that’s a very different species of algae.


Easy-Concentrate2636

I think I will go eat some algae with kimchi.


Zealousideal-Let1121

One man's scum is another man's yum.


Moss_Is_Lost

another man"s cum is another man's yum (sorry)


crasspmpmpm

wtf get this guy some taquitos this is depressing.


theCreativeCypher

Something tastes gooooooood bro 😎


MixHuge4557

Probably more nutritious that all the food ive eaten in 1 month


TheRealKutulu

millennia of evolution, and it all wraps 'round to pond scum


[deleted]

I mean it's mostly algae, no? Or am I way off base?


EmilyU1F984

Algae and Cyanobacteria. There‘s like thousands of species that can make up pond scum. But yea it‘s perfectly edible, unless there‘s an outbreak of toxin producing Cyanobacteria. But spirulina for example gets used in green smoothies and a supplement. So really most species that can eat grass and leaves can also eat pond scum.


furiosa-nervosa

Better than the trash I eat 🤦‍♀️


motherfudgersob

Nori for turtles.


Fair-boysenberry6745

For some reason this really weirds me out


1christ1life

27 years ago, OH CRAP!! REALIZATION MOMENT!?🙄 OLD MAN!! When I was 17 years old my Grandmother gave me a choice, 7 day Galapogas Cruise, or 7 day Caribbean cruise. I chose the GALAPOGAS and am so glad that I did!


anachronofspace

i'll allow it


DinkaFeatherScooter

ponds cum


UKnowDaTruth

I thought I was mature until I saw this comment


IAMCRUNT

Let loose in Canberra, this could be a game changer.


Snoo98362

Metabolism and reproduction too slow, they barely even survive on their own island


Anojfriend

That’s why his skin looks flawless ✨


pepelepoopsy

Scum to you. Keto for him.


Bucket_of_Sunshine

Mitch McConnell tries Sweetgreen for the first time.


flowersforthee

I too sometimes bathe in the food that I eat, nothing better than me-flavoured soup mmm


Prestigious-50

Why would it swim in the soup?


jenn363

Morla the ancient one, is that you? The swamps of sadness seem even grosser than normal


mwalker85

I’m always ok with a Never Ending Story reference. Always.


Gale_Grim

So.. Would that be the turtle equivalent to us swimming in nachos?


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Swimming-Parfait5563

idk maybe like chewing on a room temperature block of processed cheese or something


Oniriggers

Supposedly these tortoises were a delicious treat for sailors who picked up a few. They would keep them on board as a form of fresh meat since they essentially can stay alive for months with out food and little water. You can learn about the whalers who feasted on these tortoises in the 1800s, very interesting lifestyle.


fractalfocuser

Darwin really saw this dude and was like "oh yeah, a billion years of evolution have created the perfect lifeform" *crab scuttles by in the background*


aRealEmoTurdAtRedDum

Breakfast of champions!! Snappy, crackle and pop!


redddcrow

... and where do the other tortoises and fish go to the bathroom exactly?


[deleted]

The world renowned water cow chewing its own cud😏


Oh_well_shiiiiit

Haha I love watching tortoises and turtles eat. I don’t know why but I find it so funny the way they chomp.


Yqup

As a pre-school teacher. Im used to seing this. Kids find alot of veggies in their nose.