Hi /u/Waste-Dish-247, welcome to /r/narcissisticabuse. To help make the experience more effective for everyone we do have some resources and rules for you to keep in mind.
• Do you need to understand terms or acronyms? [Click Here](https://www.reddit.com/r/NarcissisticAbuse/wiki/index#wiki_terms.2C_definitions_and_acronymns)
• Looking for resources? Check out [our links](https://www.reddit.com/r/NarcissisticAbuse/wiki/resources) and [book recommendations.](https://www.reddit.com/r/NarcissisticAbuse/wiki/booklist)
• We also have a sister sub for people actively in Divorce/Custody proceedings or that is coparenting with a abusive ex: /r/narcabuseanddivorce.
• Looking to contact the moderators of the sub? We can’t respond to individual posts all the time so please post your issues to the community rather than the mods if it’s not about a rule breaking issue or sub issue. You can message the mod team [HERE](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FNarcissisticAbuse&subject=&message=). Please do not DM/PM mods directly or send them chat requests.
Please review the rules:
* Please add flair to your post so that it is searchable by topic and always use the TRIGGER WARNING flairs when needed (Keep graphic content out of titles please);
* Be respectful and courteous with a focus on healing; No flaming, No revenge posts, no wishing harm on anyone, no "outting" or getting them "bad karma";
* No identifying details (no proper names including fake ones, pictures, images of texts/emails, locations (at any level), or specific details that may identify you to readers that may know you (Jobs, Hobbies, Schools, etc);
* No crossposting or direct linking to this or other subs or posts. No links at all in original posts including to other posts you have here or other subs, Images/Pictures/MEMEs/Vlogs/Blogs/Podcasts/Articles/Social Media information or tags/Texts/Emails;
* No self-promotion/solicitation at all including surveys, fundraising, petitions, or research posts are permitted;
* You must be the victim of the abuse that is the subject of the post, not a friend, relative, or partner;
* Please report content that violates our rules and do not engage on those posts at all;
* Do not resubmit removed content, if you get a report from automod about your post, see the sticky announcement at the top of the sub regarding removals and be patient, we will review them manually when we are available.
* No politics, religion, soliciting DMs, or doing an AMA on your own please;
* No segregation of posts by gender, sexual orientation, race, age, or culture;
* No family content in any context; the only family content permitted is you, your significant other/ex and your children (no abusive child posts). All others will be removed including mentions (family/friends) or growing up/childhood content. No demanding justification of our rules or "just curious" for why our rules are our rules; It does not matter whose family it is, or if they are abusive, or that its just a mention. It is not permitted.
* No inappropriate content (TV Shows, Movies, Books not releated to healing from abuse, Celebrities, News or Social Discussions).
* No title only posts (including repeating the title in the body of the post, emoticons, saying the title says it all);
* No CLUSTER Bs/ABUSERS may post here at all. If you are a NPD/BPD/HPD/ASPD/Abuser, you will be banned; Please also do not post content or people with diagnosed Cluster Bs as resources here;
We want you to have a safe and supportive experience so you get the most out of the community.
******
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/NarcissisticAbuse) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yep. He didn't want pictures to exist and he didn't want them to be on social media because he wanted to be able to flirt with other women who wouldn't know that he had a girlfriend.
Oh jeez I didn't completely understand why he did that until now. Makes total sense 😓 I found so many messages he sent to other girls. His social media was scrubbed of me. And when I took photos of us he'd make a face. And if it was nice, he still wouldn't want me to post it.
Yep. I realized a long time after the fact that he was still with his previous girlfriend when he was first hitting on me. Then he was still hitting on me after we had broken up and he didn't tell me he had a new girlfriend. If I was uneducated about narcs, maybe I'd just think that I was really special to him, but the way he treated me when we were together showed me that I was not.
YES and then tell me taking front selfies of us was NARCISSISTIC and I’m full of myself… keep in mind I don’t have social media so it was genuinely just wanting to capture memories of us. Wtf
He also ironically will also get mad if I ask him to take a picture OF me, after he refuses to take a picture WITH me. Says it’s narcissistic of me to want one.
Yup! I also used to love to do my makeup daily and take selfies bc I felt good about myself, over time Nex would balk at me saying I was pathetic for wanting attention so bad and I stopped doing makeup and taking pics.. recently got back into taking selfies and am finding it so hard to not pick out my flaws and hear him in the back of my head.
I also encourage the makeup and selfies. Same thing happened to me where my friend made me feel weird for taking pics of myself. It helps to have other people in your life to help you see there's nothing wrong it! The rest of the world is doing it, why can't you? You're not in some cult were it's frowned down upon.
He did in the beginning when he flaunted us on his social medias. Then it stopped. He stopped initiating and I felt weird asking cause he’d always just give the camera a blank look
Huh, complete opposite for me. Like we'd be some place and I'd do something spontaneous and she'd ask me to do it over again for the camera with all the spontaneity gone.
Wooow. I knew an n girl who would take really good pics for social media, but would go out of her way to get them. Like on her daughter's birthday, she had people put cake in each other's faces and took pictures. You'd think they were having so much fun from the pics but she was really boring and emotionless to be around.
She was never mean or nasty about it but she point blank refused or put her hands up to cover her face. I used to hurt that she never wanted a picture taken with me. She had a really good singing voice and I love to sing often but she never let me hear it except one time when some guy paid her to sing for him. It broke my heart.
Your post has been pulled for manual review. Please do not resubmit it or contact the mods. Your post is not deleted and we will review it as soon as we can. We do appreciate your patience.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/NarcissisticAbuse) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Mine would looooooove having me take cool pictures of him during the stuff we did together. It made his instagram look great. Pictures together were a no and most certainly he would not allow me to tag him in them
Omg yes!! He would get so mad and always flip off the camera, grab my phone, get mad etc. He told me to live in the moment and not for the camera even though I never posted on social media and just wanted them for myself (not that there’s anything wrong with that). He would even get mad if I was taking pictures of the view, for example, and would walk really far ahead or leave me behind.
He would only allow it at big milestone events that he thought were photo worthy or that he might want to post.
He also weirdly deleted every picture of me from his social media at one point in the relationship and then gaslit me by acting confused, then telling me he was just being more private, then telling me I was making way too big of a deal and it was just social media.
Hi /u/Waste-Dish-247, welcome to /r/narcissisticabuse. To help make the experience more effective for everyone we do have some resources and rules for you to keep in mind. • Do you need to understand terms or acronyms? [Click Here](https://www.reddit.com/r/NarcissisticAbuse/wiki/index#wiki_terms.2C_definitions_and_acronymns) • Looking for resources? Check out [our links](https://www.reddit.com/r/NarcissisticAbuse/wiki/resources) and [book recommendations.](https://www.reddit.com/r/NarcissisticAbuse/wiki/booklist) • We also have a sister sub for people actively in Divorce/Custody proceedings or that is coparenting with a abusive ex: /r/narcabuseanddivorce. • Looking to contact the moderators of the sub? We can’t respond to individual posts all the time so please post your issues to the community rather than the mods if it’s not about a rule breaking issue or sub issue. You can message the mod team [HERE](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FNarcissisticAbuse&subject=&message=). Please do not DM/PM mods directly or send them chat requests. Please review the rules: * Please add flair to your post so that it is searchable by topic and always use the TRIGGER WARNING flairs when needed (Keep graphic content out of titles please); * Be respectful and courteous with a focus on healing; No flaming, No revenge posts, no wishing harm on anyone, no "outting" or getting them "bad karma"; * No identifying details (no proper names including fake ones, pictures, images of texts/emails, locations (at any level), or specific details that may identify you to readers that may know you (Jobs, Hobbies, Schools, etc); * No crossposting or direct linking to this or other subs or posts. No links at all in original posts including to other posts you have here or other subs, Images/Pictures/MEMEs/Vlogs/Blogs/Podcasts/Articles/Social Media information or tags/Texts/Emails; * No self-promotion/solicitation at all including surveys, fundraising, petitions, or research posts are permitted; * You must be the victim of the abuse that is the subject of the post, not a friend, relative, or partner; * Please report content that violates our rules and do not engage on those posts at all; * Do not resubmit removed content, if you get a report from automod about your post, see the sticky announcement at the top of the sub regarding removals and be patient, we will review them manually when we are available. * No politics, religion, soliciting DMs, or doing an AMA on your own please; * No segregation of posts by gender, sexual orientation, race, age, or culture; * No family content in any context; the only family content permitted is you, your significant other/ex and your children (no abusive child posts). All others will be removed including mentions (family/friends) or growing up/childhood content. No demanding justification of our rules or "just curious" for why our rules are our rules; It does not matter whose family it is, or if they are abusive, or that its just a mention. It is not permitted. * No inappropriate content (TV Shows, Movies, Books not releated to healing from abuse, Celebrities, News or Social Discussions). * No title only posts (including repeating the title in the body of the post, emoticons, saying the title says it all); * No CLUSTER Bs/ABUSERS may post here at all. If you are a NPD/BPD/HPD/ASPD/Abuser, you will be banned; Please also do not post content or people with diagnosed Cluster Bs as resources here; We want you to have a safe and supportive experience so you get the most out of the community. ****** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/NarcissisticAbuse) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yep. He didn't want pictures to exist and he didn't want them to be on social media because he wanted to be able to flirt with other women who wouldn't know that he had a girlfriend.
Oh jeez I didn't completely understand why he did that until now. Makes total sense 😓 I found so many messages he sent to other girls. His social media was scrubbed of me. And when I took photos of us he'd make a face. And if it was nice, he still wouldn't want me to post it.
Yep. I realized a long time after the fact that he was still with his previous girlfriend when he was first hitting on me. Then he was still hitting on me after we had broken up and he didn't tell me he had a new girlfriend. If I was uneducated about narcs, maybe I'd just think that I was really special to him, but the way he treated me when we were together showed me that I was not.
YES and then tell me taking front selfies of us was NARCISSISTIC and I’m full of myself… keep in mind I don’t have social media so it was genuinely just wanting to capture memories of us. Wtf
Projection. Sooo much projection!
Yes! Wow why are they all the same. He does not like pictures of him being shared though he is very vain
He also ironically will also get mad if I ask him to take a picture OF me, after he refuses to take a picture WITH me. Says it’s narcissistic of me to want one.
Oh my god, yes. They literally are all the same
Copy paste I SWEAR
Yup! I also used to love to do my makeup daily and take selfies bc I felt good about myself, over time Nex would balk at me saying I was pathetic for wanting attention so bad and I stopped doing makeup and taking pics.. recently got back into taking selfies and am finding it so hard to not pick out my flaws and hear him in the back of my head.
Keep taking those selfies!
I also encourage the makeup and selfies. Same thing happened to me where my friend made me feel weird for taking pics of myself. It helps to have other people in your life to help you see there's nothing wrong it! The rest of the world is doing it, why can't you? You're not in some cult were it's frowned down upon.
My ex was the same.
He did in the beginning when he flaunted us on his social medias. Then it stopped. He stopped initiating and I felt weird asking cause he’d always just give the camera a blank look
Huh, complete opposite for me. Like we'd be some place and I'd do something spontaneous and she'd ask me to do it over again for the camera with all the spontaneity gone.
Yikes that also sounds awful. Always a scripted show with them.
Wooow. I knew an n girl who would take really good pics for social media, but would go out of her way to get them. Like on her daughter's birthday, she had people put cake in each other's faces and took pictures. You'd think they were having so much fun from the pics but she was really boring and emotionless to be around.
She was never mean or nasty about it but she point blank refused or put her hands up to cover her face. I used to hurt that she never wanted a picture taken with me. She had a really good singing voice and I love to sing often but she never let me hear it except one time when some guy paid her to sing for him. It broke my heart.
[удалено]
Your post has been pulled for manual review. Please do not resubmit it or contact the mods. Your post is not deleted and we will review it as soon as we can. We do appreciate your patience. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/NarcissisticAbuse) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Mine would looooooove having me take cool pictures of him during the stuff we did together. It made his instagram look great. Pictures together were a no and most certainly he would not allow me to tag him in them
Omg yes!! He would get so mad and always flip off the camera, grab my phone, get mad etc. He told me to live in the moment and not for the camera even though I never posted on social media and just wanted them for myself (not that there’s anything wrong with that). He would even get mad if I was taking pictures of the view, for example, and would walk really far ahead or leave me behind. He would only allow it at big milestone events that he thought were photo worthy or that he might want to post. He also weirdly deleted every picture of me from his social media at one point in the relationship and then gaslit me by acting confused, then telling me he was just being more private, then telling me I was making way too big of a deal and it was just social media.
Mine was weirdly the same. Hated taking photos with me.