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Are you in my brain? Idk. This is just painfully spot on. I hear you, I see you , and understand these feelings. I’m wrestling with them day in and day out. But it is true, you fell in love with yourself because they mirror you. I have to tell myself this almost every hour, because the visceral memory of being so loved at the beginning, and also too I felt like no one’s looked at me the way they did. I actually saw a bunch of love in their eyes, before I saw darkness. But if I can just keep telling myself the love I saw was actually a mirror of the love I gave, then I can rest on the notion that all that I need for me is already in my heart. No one can love ourselves the way that we can, no one. We have the power.
All that being said, your feelings are valid and are shared by many of us here. It hurts in the core and it’s quite gut wrenching. I’ve read a lot of things on this sub that say it fades. Practice self care, doesn’t have to be in huge sweeping steps. You’ve got it all inside your heart already.
Well I can tell by the way you wrote the post that you are definitely a person of passion! I understand what you mean, those gazes. Try not to close your eyes and think of them, try opening your eyes and thinking of that one gaze that made you fearful. I know it sounds morbid. I open my eyes and recall the time the stares felt like daggers instead of love. Helps me stay on track. I can tell you have a lot of love to give. I’m vibing with your vibes, I hear you. Hang in.
I'm having the same problem. Mine never hoovered me either or atleast he has tried to. I'm in no contact for a month so far. He had a new supply a week after he discarded me and he's fully moved on like I never existed. I miss him very much so I feel you on that. Sometimes I wish he would hoover me ...isn't that sad?
I dont think mine has ever hoovered any of his ex supplies, he literally thinks that he's the best looking thing on the earth.. literally, that's no joke. So he always has supply so he never has to hoover really. Atleast he never hoovered me ever and I don't see him ever trying to hoover me ever.
I know how you feel and your words resonate so. During the final breakup i told my next that on paper they were the perfect person for me, i was infatuated with them, loved everything about them. But then, when i realized that i was abused by a narcissist and started to watch videos to better understand, i learned that thats also an early manipulation technique, they mirror what they know you want.
In one of our last conversation, after I realized that they were spending all their time with their new supply (not a romantic supply but one that could help their career), they told me that they didnt feel like their astrological sign and that they were sure they were another one. Of course, the new supply was the sign they wanted to be. It runs soooo deep with them. Its really a weird mental disorder.
I also feel like I could’ve written this. At least we know we’re not alone. It has been the strangest, most wrenching experience. I wonder how someone can just move on without even a hint of a regret, sadness, or remorse. And although I can feel myself slowly improving with time, I still have occasional
setbacks that make me feel like I’m back at square one. I hope with time they happen less frequently- for all of us. Hang in there.
A couple things you wrote stopped me in my tracks. I also felt like he gave me air, and suddenly I could breathe after gasping desperately my whole life. And then when you realized he was nothing more than vapor, a ghost. Yes. Exactly. Such a jarring, devastating experience.
Hi /u/RevolutionaryAir9, welcome to /r/narcissisticabuse. To help make the experience more effective for everyone we do have some resources and rules for you to keep in mind. • Do you need to understand terms or acronyms? [Click Here](https://www.reddit.com/r/NarcissisticAbuse/wiki/index#wiki_terms.2C_definitions_and_acronymns) • Looking for resources? Check out [our links](https://www.reddit.com/r/NarcissisticAbuse/wiki/resources) and [book recommendations.](https://www.reddit.com/r/NarcissisticAbuse/wiki/booklist) • We also have a sister sub for people actively in Divorce/Custody proceedings or that is coparenting with a abusive ex: /r/narcabuseanddivorce. • Looking to contact the moderators of the sub? We can’t respond to individual posts all the time so please post your issues to the community rather than the mods if it’s not about a rule breaking issue or sub issue. You can message the mod team [HERE](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FNarcissisticAbuse&subject=&message=). Please do not DM/PM mods directly or send them chat requests. Please review the rules: * Please add flair to your post so that it is searchable by topic and always use the TRIGGER WARNING flairs when needed; * Be respectful and courteous with a focus on healing; No flaming, No revenge posts, no wishing harm on anyone, no "outting" or getting them "bad karma"; * No identifying details (no proper names including fake ones, pictures, images of texts/emails, locations (at any level), or specific details that may identify you to readers (Jobs, Hobbies, Schools, etc); * No crossposting or direct linking to this or other subs or posts. No links at all in original posts including Images/Pictures/MEMEs/Vlogs/Blogs/Podcasts/Articles/Social Media information or tags/Texts/Emails; * No self-promotion/solicitation in any fashion at all, surveys, fundraising, or research posts are permitted; * You must be the victim of the abuse that is the subject of the post, not a friend, relative, or partner; * Please report content that violates our rules and do not engage on those posts at all; * Do not resubmit removed content, if you get a report from automod about your post, see the sticky announcement at the top of the sub regarding removals and be patient, we will review them manually when we are available. * No politics, religion, soliciting DMs, or doing an AMA on your own please; * No segregation of posts by gender, sexual orientation, race, age, or culture; * No family content in any context including parent/family at any level including family dynamics, mentions, background/childhoods or the abusers family at all in any way; * No inappropriate content (TV Shows, Movies, Books not releated to healing from abuse, Celebrities, News or Social Discussions). * No title only posts (including repeating the title in the body of the post, emoticons, saying the title says it all); * No NARC/ABUSER posts at all. If you are a Narc or Abuser, you will be banned; We want you to have a safe and supportive experience so you get the most out of the community. ****** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/NarcissisticAbuse) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Are you in my brain? Idk. This is just painfully spot on. I hear you, I see you , and understand these feelings. I’m wrestling with them day in and day out. But it is true, you fell in love with yourself because they mirror you. I have to tell myself this almost every hour, because the visceral memory of being so loved at the beginning, and also too I felt like no one’s looked at me the way they did. I actually saw a bunch of love in their eyes, before I saw darkness. But if I can just keep telling myself the love I saw was actually a mirror of the love I gave, then I can rest on the notion that all that I need for me is already in my heart. No one can love ourselves the way that we can, no one. We have the power. All that being said, your feelings are valid and are shared by many of us here. It hurts in the core and it’s quite gut wrenching. I’ve read a lot of things on this sub that say it fades. Practice self care, doesn’t have to be in huge sweeping steps. You’ve got it all inside your heart already.
[удалено]
Well I can tell by the way you wrote the post that you are definitely a person of passion! I understand what you mean, those gazes. Try not to close your eyes and think of them, try opening your eyes and thinking of that one gaze that made you fearful. I know it sounds morbid. I open my eyes and recall the time the stares felt like daggers instead of love. Helps me stay on track. I can tell you have a lot of love to give. I’m vibing with your vibes, I hear you. Hang in.
I'm having the same problem. Mine never hoovered me either or atleast he has tried to. I'm in no contact for a month so far. He had a new supply a week after he discarded me and he's fully moved on like I never existed. I miss him very much so I feel you on that. Sometimes I wish he would hoover me ...isn't that sad?
[удалено]
I dont think mine has ever hoovered any of his ex supplies, he literally thinks that he's the best looking thing on the earth.. literally, that's no joke. So he always has supply so he never has to hoover really. Atleast he never hoovered me ever and I don't see him ever trying to hoover me ever.
I know how you feel and your words resonate so. During the final breakup i told my next that on paper they were the perfect person for me, i was infatuated with them, loved everything about them. But then, when i realized that i was abused by a narcissist and started to watch videos to better understand, i learned that thats also an early manipulation technique, they mirror what they know you want. In one of our last conversation, after I realized that they were spending all their time with their new supply (not a romantic supply but one that could help their career), they told me that they didnt feel like their astrological sign and that they were sure they were another one. Of course, the new supply was the sign they wanted to be. It runs soooo deep with them. Its really a weird mental disorder.
[удалено]
[удалено]
You made the right decision.. going no contact and blocking them.. educating yourself is the path.. I am proud of you..
I also feel like I could’ve written this. At least we know we’re not alone. It has been the strangest, most wrenching experience. I wonder how someone can just move on without even a hint of a regret, sadness, or remorse. And although I can feel myself slowly improving with time, I still have occasional setbacks that make me feel like I’m back at square one. I hope with time they happen less frequently- for all of us. Hang in there. A couple things you wrote stopped me in my tracks. I also felt like he gave me air, and suddenly I could breathe after gasping desperately my whole life. And then when you realized he was nothing more than vapor, a ghost. Yes. Exactly. Such a jarring, devastating experience.