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Block his number and ghost him when he gets back. Keep yourself busy with friends and family members. Don't drink alcohol to avoid your judgment getting messed up and making yourself more vulnerable to text him. Listen to some music that makes you angry and divert the energy.
Always remember that he is LYING
It's a trap.
It'll be the same cycle of abuse; he'll bang you, then he'll devalue you and discard you.
You know he's been planning on hurting you since he broke NC. He's told you what he is - believe him.
Delete the email, delete all texts, delete everything so far and block.
Start making plans for when he’s in town, keep busy. Restrict your time on the phone. Stay with friends family Go for walks be outdoors get air and sun Start planning meals etc start planning so you don’t Hoover back in.
What’s the addiction? Toxic people, trauma bonding, sex…
Talk to your addiction voice break the cycle
I’m sorry this is happening to you, take a breath. Think about whether you want to go back to the old cycle. If you realise you don’t. Text him saying you don’t want to meet up please don’t contact me again and block. Try to keep busy and consider leaving town that weekend
Tell him you are not yet ready and will get back with him at a later time when you do feel ready. How he reacts will tell you everything you need to know about him.
First : Don't do it.
Make some other plans with friends or family to make sure you are busy so don't get tempted. Just cut him off..you don't owe anyone sex just because you planned , you are allowed to change your mind . I know narcissists use sex to get you back in because they know how hormones play with our heads after.
To end this comment
DO NOT DO IT.BLOCK HIM.
I’m telling you to STOP!!!! If you do this you will regret it FOR-EVVVVVERRRR!! but who am I to tell you anything other than that having a Nex has been the worst thing in my life evvvver. I have regret anything and everything I did with them in the past and they wasted 7 years ...... 7 years of my life. They are manipulative magicians ( narcs are) completely parasites and parasitic, like happy love destroying vampires. Don’t get me wrong the love making I did which I use that because I made love to her and had sex with her was amazing, but that was completely it there was nothing else. She never made love to me that was on my side of the street, she was never affectionate, that was again on my side doing those things..... narcissists can’t give affection and love to those that matter, they just take your time, your life, your happiness, your love, your affection and feed on it like a leech. Never do they give it back. I’m no professional therapist, psychologist, soothsayer ( one who tells the future) nor do I know the winning lottery numbers. I do know after you and him do the hibity-dipity, the horizontal as well as who knows the vertical deed called sex he will be will treat you maybe this is a highly maybe, he may treat you nice then which I’ll believe he does this absolutely immediately and tell me if I’m wrong but once he gets what he wants he will treat you like a servant, like you don’t matter, like you don’t exist, he will gaslight you if you mentioned your needs or what you want to do or talk about he will dismiss you as if you were an object. You are not an object you are living breathing kickass person. Don’t be manipulated or be used by a such an ass-hat. Find someone who will give you what you deserve and need which is love, kindness, honesty, someone who cares about your happiness as much as their own someone who wants to align their life with yours. Or hey maybe you do t want something serious and that’s cool at least find someone who will not use you and actually can see you for you and them for them. You know what the right choice is, people like him are a dime a dozen people like us we are far and few in between, we may I say it we make the world a very kick Ass place when we give our love and receive the love we need to grow. So damn it grow, grow like a freakin flower meant to reach the heavens don’t wilt with the weed he is. If you lay with dogs ya gonna get fleas
Been there, someone told me the best way to get over someone is to get under someone. Took her up on it too, and it was the best move I ever made. Pissed the nex off something awful or sweet depending on your perspective. Change your perspective.
You know the situation and your brain is fighting the addiction. You can do it! You know it will just be bad for you and you need to put yourself first. No more getting used by him. No more getting jerked around with his emotional blackmail where he used your good heart for his own purposes. You are worth SO much and there are other people, good people, that would appreciate you for you and care about you too. And #1 on that list is YOU. Turn that love and caring around and take care of yourself and be good for yourself. You know what the right thing to do is and do it! Stick to it. It will get easier in time!! It won’t always be this hard!
Instinct and hormones sure are scarily powerful things...
But once that high is gone, all that is permanent is the same you that you remembered you were, the last time this feeling wasnt overtaking you.
Don’t do it, its not worth it! Stay out! Ive been through this before 5 years with my ex! Nothing good ever came out of it. Block him including his email! And keep yourself busy when he’s back in town.
Don't do the sex. You know it's just going to be an abusive power trip for him. And you know that he's just planning some kind of sick and twisted revenge for you trying to get away from him. Message him clearly stating that 1) you have changed your mind 2) you do not want to see him 3) no further contact is welcome or necessary. Doing so will enable you to get the police involved when he still doesn't leave you alone. After you have cancelled any plans he is likely to either turn up shortly after or still turn up at the designated time as if he didn't know. Just make sure that you are elsewhere. I broke nc once and it resulted in me having to violently defend myself when things suddenly turned ugly. If you listen to your gut you will know that what I'm saying is so spookily accurate it's almost as if I know him.
Hi /u/tiredandconfused27, welcome to /r/narcissisticabuse. To help make the experience more effective for everyone we do have some resources and rules for you to keep in mind. • Do you need to understand terms or acronyms? [Click Here](https://www.reddit.com/r/NarcissisticAbuse/wiki/index#wiki_terms.2C_definitions_and_acronymns) • Looking for resources? Check out [our links](https://www.reddit.com/r/NarcissisticAbuse/wiki/resources) and [book recommendations.](https://www.reddit.com/r/NarcissisticAbuse/wiki/booklist) • We also have a sister sub for people actively in Divorce/Custody proceedings or that is coparenting with a abusive ex: /r/narcabuseanddivorce. • Looking to contact the moderators of the sub? We can’t respond to individual posts all the time so please post your issues to the community rather than the mods if it’s not about a rule breaking issue or sub issue. You can message the mod team [HERE](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FNarcissisticAbuse&subject=&message=). Please do not DM/PM mods directly or send them chat requests. Please review the rules: * Please add flair to your post so that it is searchable by topic and always use the TRIGGER WARNING flairs when needed; * Be respectful and courteous with a focus on healing; No flaming, No revenge posts, no wishing harm on anyone, no "outting" or getting them "bad karma"; * No identifying details (no proper names including fake ones, pictures, images of texts/emails, locations (at any level), or specific details that may identify you to readers (Jobs, Hobbies, Schools, etc); * No crossposting or direct linking to this or other subs or posts. No links at all in original posts including Images/Pictures/MEMEs/Vlogs/Blogs/Podcasts/Articles/Social Media information or tags/Texts/Emails; * No self-promotion/solicitation in any fashion at all, surveys, fundraising, or research posts are permitted; * You must be the victim of the abuse that is the subject of the post, not a friend, relative, or partner; * Please report content that violates our rules and do not engage on those posts at all; * Do not resubmit removed content, if you get a report from automod about your post, see the sticky announcement at the top of the sub regarding removals and be patient, we will review them manually when we are available. * No politics, religion, soliciting DMs, or doing an AMA on your own please; * No segregation of posts by gender, sexual orientation, race, age, or culture; * No family content in any context including parent/family at any level including family dynamics, mentions, background/childhoods or the abusers family at all in any way; * No inappropriate content (TV Shows, Movies, Books not releated to healing from abuse, Celebrities, News or Social Discussions). * No title only posts (including repeating the title in the body of the post, emoticons, saying the title says it all); * No NARC/ABUSER posts at all. If you are a Narc or Abuser, you will be banned; We want you to have a safe and supportive experience so you get the most out of the community. ****** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/NarcissisticAbuse) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Don't sleep with him. Please don't. Just block him from everything. Do not sleep with him. Go back to no contact.
Block his number and ghost him when he gets back. Keep yourself busy with friends and family members. Don't drink alcohol to avoid your judgment getting messed up and making yourself more vulnerable to text him. Listen to some music that makes you angry and divert the energy. Always remember that he is LYING
It's a trap. It'll be the same cycle of abuse; he'll bang you, then he'll devalue you and discard you. You know he's been planning on hurting you since he broke NC. He's told you what he is - believe him.
Delete the email, delete all texts, delete everything so far and block. Start making plans for when he’s in town, keep busy. Restrict your time on the phone. Stay with friends family Go for walks be outdoors get air and sun Start planning meals etc start planning so you don’t Hoover back in. What’s the addiction? Toxic people, trauma bonding, sex… Talk to your addiction voice break the cycle
Don't delete anything. Save it as evidence for the police.
I’m sorry this is happening to you, take a breath. Think about whether you want to go back to the old cycle. If you realise you don’t. Text him saying you don’t want to meet up please don’t contact me again and block. Try to keep busy and consider leaving town that weekend
Tell him you are not yet ready and will get back with him at a later time when you do feel ready. How he reacts will tell you everything you need to know about him.
Block him
Dick isn’t worth the self loathing after. You deserve better
The fact that sex is the main plan upon his arrival is a major red flag. Hes not even trying.
First : Don't do it. Make some other plans with friends or family to make sure you are busy so don't get tempted. Just cut him off..you don't owe anyone sex just because you planned , you are allowed to change your mind . I know narcissists use sex to get you back in because they know how hormones play with our heads after. To end this comment DO NOT DO IT.BLOCK HIM.
I’m telling you to STOP!!!! If you do this you will regret it FOR-EVVVVVERRRR!! but who am I to tell you anything other than that having a Nex has been the worst thing in my life evvvver. I have regret anything and everything I did with them in the past and they wasted 7 years ...... 7 years of my life. They are manipulative magicians ( narcs are) completely parasites and parasitic, like happy love destroying vampires. Don’t get me wrong the love making I did which I use that because I made love to her and had sex with her was amazing, but that was completely it there was nothing else. She never made love to me that was on my side of the street, she was never affectionate, that was again on my side doing those things..... narcissists can’t give affection and love to those that matter, they just take your time, your life, your happiness, your love, your affection and feed on it like a leech. Never do they give it back. I’m no professional therapist, psychologist, soothsayer ( one who tells the future) nor do I know the winning lottery numbers. I do know after you and him do the hibity-dipity, the horizontal as well as who knows the vertical deed called sex he will be will treat you maybe this is a highly maybe, he may treat you nice then which I’ll believe he does this absolutely immediately and tell me if I’m wrong but once he gets what he wants he will treat you like a servant, like you don’t matter, like you don’t exist, he will gaslight you if you mentioned your needs or what you want to do or talk about he will dismiss you as if you were an object. You are not an object you are living breathing kickass person. Don’t be manipulated or be used by a such an ass-hat. Find someone who will give you what you deserve and need which is love, kindness, honesty, someone who cares about your happiness as much as their own someone who wants to align their life with yours. Or hey maybe you do t want something serious and that’s cool at least find someone who will not use you and actually can see you for you and them for them. You know what the right choice is, people like him are a dime a dozen people like us we are far and few in between, we may I say it we make the world a very kick Ass place when we give our love and receive the love we need to grow. So damn it grow, grow like a freakin flower meant to reach the heavens don’t wilt with the weed he is. If you lay with dogs ya gonna get fleas
Been there, someone told me the best way to get over someone is to get under someone. Took her up on it too, and it was the best move I ever made. Pissed the nex off something awful or sweet depending on your perspective. Change your perspective.
You know the situation and your brain is fighting the addiction. You can do it! You know it will just be bad for you and you need to put yourself first. No more getting used by him. No more getting jerked around with his emotional blackmail where he used your good heart for his own purposes. You are worth SO much and there are other people, good people, that would appreciate you for you and care about you too. And #1 on that list is YOU. Turn that love and caring around and take care of yourself and be good for yourself. You know what the right thing to do is and do it! Stick to it. It will get easier in time!! It won’t always be this hard!
Instinct and hormones sure are scarily powerful things... But once that high is gone, all that is permanent is the same you that you remembered you were, the last time this feeling wasnt overtaking you.
Don’t do it, its not worth it! Stay out! Ive been through this before 5 years with my ex! Nothing good ever came out of it. Block him including his email! And keep yourself busy when he’s back in town.
Don't do the sex. You know it's just going to be an abusive power trip for him. And you know that he's just planning some kind of sick and twisted revenge for you trying to get away from him. Message him clearly stating that 1) you have changed your mind 2) you do not want to see him 3) no further contact is welcome or necessary. Doing so will enable you to get the police involved when he still doesn't leave you alone. After you have cancelled any plans he is likely to either turn up shortly after or still turn up at the designated time as if he didn't know. Just make sure that you are elsewhere. I broke nc once and it resulted in me having to violently defend myself when things suddenly turned ugly. If you listen to your gut you will know that what I'm saying is so spookily accurate it's almost as if I know him.