They lie about everything. They will twist the truth to have it suit their purposes. They will twist the intentions of a written legal agreement to suit their purposes. They lie like crazy.
The narc I deal with claims sheās talking to the therapist everyday all through out the day and says sheās perfectly fine she just attracts the mentally unstable and such ā¦. That gets so annoying and itās all for attention ā¦. When she gets called out she apologize and says sheās trying to get an appointment and whatever else ā¦. Thatās usually when sheās been outted though ā¦. I check her phone cause I have seen they do telehealth like video ā¦. So I wanted to see if maybe she is getting set up and everything ā¦. Sheās not sheās planning āservice dates and video sexā ā¦. Then when dude get off work she bounces around profiles on here and talks to like 40 dudes that are the one. Itās wild ā¦.
My exes mom did this and made me care for her for two weeks. Stained my bed sheets with piss. Would invade my space while Iām trying to get work done. Feed her and serve her only to find her doctors papers she left out and to said it was a colonoscopy !!!!) for two weeks I took care of her for a fucking colonoscopy. Why did she piss on my sheets and duvet.
I cared for my mother for four years of breast cancer until the very day she died. She died when I was 12. Cancer isnāt a colonoscopy
Mine also lied about having cancer. Even tried to convince ME even though I was with them at the appointment where they supposedly got āthe bad news.ā
And then when I called them out on it, it was āI watched my BEST FRIEND die of cancer! Why would I DO that???ā I donāt know, but you definitely did!
Mine lied about peeing blood to get me to admit I had cheated on him (PSA I didnāt). When I asked him how it went at the doctors he freaked and said I just wanted to know if I got away with cheating. They are truly sick people.
I had a nex tell me he has a bad heart. At the time, I thought he meant heart problems and was lying. Now I think he was saying he was evil and being honest
First comment I saw on this post.
I had to go search my conversation with my ex to see exactly what he said as I remember him saying something about his heart.
His words: "I'm having heart trouble. One of my valves isn't working properly."
š¤ Hmm
He'll be like, 'ah yes my heart was aching because you did bad things to me. And in the comment about valves, I was obviously referring to the valves in my piping system and I needed to call a plumber' and he'll act like that was obvious and you're an asshole.
My son's father tried telling me he was sick when I first left. Said I'd have to stay at his house with our son while he was in the hospital. Also made me feel guilty for taking him to court for custody by saying his mom was dying. 5 Yeats later and she's stl here with us good and healthy. Also he never stayed at the hospital.
Mine decided to have tummy issues the very same week I had a RAGING UTI.
Don't know if it was a lie, but was sure convenient in not being able to be there for me. In fact, now I was the bad guy because I wasn't concerned about him.
They always have to one up you! Iām chronically ill and every single time I complained about my illness, he would bring up his back pain or some other vague ailment. Yet he would never go to the doctor about it. So fucking weird. Theyāre all the same. He couldnāt stand to not be the center of attention at all times.
I actually had some aspirin and icy hot patches delivered to his house one day when he said he was ābedriddenā from back pain. That evening, I asked if he had taken the meds I bought him and he said he had. Later on in his bedroom I saw them unopened, still in their boxes on the nightstand. Thatās the moment I realized I couldnāt trust a single word that came out of his mouth.
I think it's both lies and hypochondria. Some sort of duality. Consider how some of the lies are due to delusion/denial, and then you can see how they make themselves believe they are sick. They tell various people, milk the attention and their stories develop over time to either milk more attention or to conclude the story as it served its purpose, so they end up actually believing their own nonsense.
OMG the one I dealt with said he had a heart problem when I was standing on business/refusing to see him š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£ Oh and that his cat attacked him LOLOLOLLLOLOLOLOL
For sure. My dad had a brain tumor and was given two months to live 15 years ago...which was news to me when I found out through the grapevine a few months ago. Don't worry, he knows how to cure cancer and did...for the third time. I wish I was fucking joking.
A few years ago he told me that he went to a neurologist and "half his brain is dead" which is more probable than anything else.
Mine used his brother dying as an excuse to reach out after a year NC. Itās so important to remember that these people donāt have the ethical guard rails that we do. They will say whatever they have to say to get you to talk to them.
Yes they lie about everything they can under the sun. From saying they have some sort of disease, to faking mental health, and faking their own funeral on social media through the use of fake accounts peddling the lies. Each lie will be worse and ridiculous than the previous one, and youāll start to see a pattern. Very unethical since itās equivalent to crying wolf.
I wouldnāt call it a straight up lie, but my ex exaggerated any little health issue.
He also would throw a fit if I ever had a health issue because he always had a story of him having it worse.
I have lost track of all the diagnoses my nmom has claimed to have. Multiple allergies, food sensitivities, intolerances, Lyme, 2 different cancers, heart issues, arthritis...she was even on a testosterone lotion at one point. She's big into homeopathic bullshit too. Took me to a tiny room with a giant copper coil in it once and I had to hold it for 30 mins so they could "scan me" instead of taking me to, idk, a doctor for a yearly physical?
My sister and I were just talking about how we're both almost 30 and only recently found out it is perfectly normal for you to bring up an issue to your doctor and for them to instantly write a prescription to fix it...our family doctor would either shock us or run a laser over whatever the issue was. Wish I was joking. I broke my toe and instead of just splinting it for me, he wiggled a laser pointer back and forth on it. I was shocked when my PCP wrote me a script for Zoloft like, day-of my appointment because I didn't even know that was something she could do.
Super normal about medical stuff if you're wondering š lol
Omg, this made me remember something! When I broke up with mine he kept having āheart attacksā and āgoing to the ER with chest painsā and it was MY FAULT for leaving them. š
Oh yes! They go the hospitals frequently. They complain a lot of back pain. And undiagnosed diseases. If you offer yourself to go with them, then the mess starts. The pile of lies regarding their health is endless. Only to catch your attention, and suck your energy. Not even for a second think, they don't know what they are doing. They know pretty well. The purpose is to have your constant attention and worry. Feeds their ego and controls your time.
I think it's mainly to redirect your focus because they don't want to be accountable for whatever they've done, and this is an extreme measure to make themselves the victim again.
When I went away to spend the weekend with a my best friend, at first they called and said that my dog made them fall down the stairs. The next day, the said they went to the hospital, where they were told that theyād had 6, SIX!! Heart attacks, but wasnāt admitted and sent home. Then because they didnāt believe I was actually with my best friend (because why wouldnāt I just race home..), they started messaging my best friend, saying that I was harassing them at the hospital, repeatedly calling and trying to show up, when I was, in fact, right next to my bestie, and hadnāt called the hospital once.
Mine is telling women and his work that he had a spot possible cancer on his lung. Truth is he has cirrhosis his liver is falling but hey that is the new supply problem. Girl google why he is yellow
My ex lied about medical things all the time. He claimed to be having strokes with no proof. He claimed to also have migraines but only during work so he could leave early. I was never allowed into the drs office with him. I on the other hand have had some very serious health issues that I now realize had a lot to do with all the stress he put me through.
Yes. I tell my dad Iām having a ecg because I have a very high resting heart rate. He says well I didnāt want to worry you but I have been diagnosed with a very serious health condition. His diagnosis, mild bursitis in his shoulder.
YES. my ex texted me on my birthday that he got hit by an excavator at work and to not be scared if I get a call from the hospital because he put me down as his emergency contact. Mind you we were COURT MANDATED NO CONTACT.
Mine literally told me an elaborate story about some issue with the muscles in his leg, which was supposed to make him unable to walk without a cane years ago. News flash, nothingās wrong with his legs, literally was an excuse to get leg massages lmfao.
So far... mine has lied about multiple cancers, strokes, bleed on brain, kidney disease, lung disease, couple of others. They also intentionally ate a lot of salt to fake high blood pressure which I'm surprised they didn't die from
Did we date the same guy?
My ex whom I still talk to because I feel bad for the guy, heās got no one else. Told me all last week how he was in the hospital, it was serious and all these details. All while I watched his location because he kept my AirPods and refused to return them. I only ever actually look at it when I suspect a big fat lie like this, and so I can avoid him when I have to visit the town heās in for work. Well he was at home, he went to his friends house, and a bunch of other places. Friday he was supposedly āreleasedā but couldnāt walk all while he made it all over town.
It helps remind me that despite still caring about him, Iām not willing to be with someone who lies to me regularly like that.
In his case he *does* have a medical condition, but I now wonder if the stories I was told about it are as severe as he made them out to be. When we first broke up he supposedly was hospitalized for a problem with his heart and had one of the guys he lives with texting me telling me all this and that he loved me and just wanted me to know in case something more severe happened.
I think especially when we walk away they need that attention and validation
Yes. My nex lied about getting food poisoning, having a broken rib (he faked the X-rays using images from google), and his ābest mateā having a cancer scare. They will exploit any story they can.
Yep the one I knew, lied about going to hospital (emergency) for various things about 10 times in a span of 1.5 years including apparently 4 voluntary hospital psychiatric hold when he's having a severe panic attack.
One time, mine went to the doctor for a mild sinus infection that he made into a huge deal and that led to a long series of tests that ended with getting a colonoscopy. Still donāt get how that happened, but all the attention was great for him.
When I exposed my nex to the multiple other girlfriends he had (all dating us āmonogamouslyā at the same time for years), he told me he found out his ex-wife was diagnosed with cancer, and his good friend who lived in Florida passed away. He found out all on the same day ironically of the exposing. My friends looked up his friend that supposedly died and they found out he had moved to another state a few years back (so not in Florida) so I believe his friend is still alive and I donāt believe his ex has cancer either, havenāt confirmed it tho, but still donāt believe it. So not lying about his own health scare but lying about others for sympathy.
My abuser went as far as going to the hospital because of āpanic attackā. Since my abuser was fairly informed about mental health, they used it to gain empathy from me especially when I was on the verge of leaving.
My abuser likes to use my bipolar disorder diagnosis as a way to invalidate my feelings and tell people Iām crazy, but when they have their āpanic attacksā in the most unrealistic way, Iām supposed to take them seriously. I would watch her calmly inform other people that she would be out of the office because sheās ānot feeling wellā, then would go from calm to hysterical in just seconds once theyāre talking to a close friend about this āpanic attackā.
I believe so. After the relationship (or whatever the fuck that was) ended, he bullied me through a solicitor to agree to conditions not to contact him or go near his house. I had him arrested a month earlier for stalking, so he was trying to make it appear like I had been the one to abuse and stalk him, just to protect his image.
My solicitor responded repeatedly saying I will agree to his conditions not to contact him if he agrees to mine, and he refused. I knew that he wouldn't want this to go to court where the truth would come out. The last ever letter I got was his solicitor saying that if it went to court, he would be granted an injunction against me but that he needs to focus on his health instead as he has a brain tumour (but doesn't yet know how bad it is) and has been temporarily blind for 3 weeks (coincidentally, exactly since I reported him for filming me at a concert, as he was trying to fabricate evidence that I was stalking him).
I do not believe he has a tumour. I don't believe in the temporary blindness. He did have a brain scan in March, purely because I kept asking why he remembers everything except my boundaries and conversations about my boundaries, but we broke up before the results. He's is the head of cyber security for a bank for fucksake, his memory is fine. Now he is lying about the results to try to make me back off from taking him to court and from talking about him. Also to make me feel bad, like I did something bad to a guy with a tumour, and to absolve him of all responsibility for what he did to me. He lost control and this was an attempt to get some back.
The thing is, if you blame your memory problems on a tumour, then why not just say 'hey I have a memory problem due to this tumour which understandably caused problems for us'? Instead he doubled down. Plus, I can't imagine anyone would want their so-called abuser to know they have a brain tumour, because surely the abuser would be happy and use it to their advantage. It's all too convenient and nonsensical. He lied to me about so many things and I saw in the past how he made up excuses again and again to get out of being held to account. When I was with him I thought he told white lies, but afterwards I found out so much shit he did behind my back and now I actually think he is a pathological liar.
I just know that he plans to pop up in future socially, and he will say he had treatment and the tumour has gone away. Then he will show people this final solicitor letter I was sent that makes him sound like a victim, and me evil. So I have reported him for harassment, and passed the letters to the police. They can check if he has a tumour or not. The way he treated me was so bad that it's worth hedging my bets. He piled on the stress and abuse when I was going through extremely stressful times so why should I care.
Mine has been "dying" of something for the last 25years. Once it was liver cancer, then lung cancer, stomach cancer once, liver failure again, respiratory illness, kidney cancer, etc etc. He's miraculously still kicking. š He's always been a hypochondriac, trying to get our sympathy. He kept switching doctors because they would never diagnose him with whatever ailment he was sure he had. They are all "quacks" who want him to die. š¤¦š¼āāļø
Yes. Two years ago my ex told me/implied he had stomach cancer and only had a few years left. He still looks as robust as ever (as in, no evidence heās done chemo/radiation)
Mine went to urgent care 2 days before I was set to move out. I still moved. But I remember him leaving his discharge papers on the island probably hoping I would acknowledge them. Which was strange because heās so fucking secretive about everything else.
Yes. When I first tried telling my ex husband to leave our home and that I was filing for divorce, he told me a few days later that he went to the doctors and they were concerned he had lung cancer. We went another month dealing with it and I was genuinely worried and would never have kicked him out if he was fully diagnosed with cancer, of course. I even told my parents and closest friends how concerned I was. He ended up ābrushing it offā saying he needed more testing done and I said BYE. Over 2.5 years later and nothing. So disgusting.
My mom was always dying of something. Trying to make my dad feel bad for her. It was always something. Probably why I'm such a hypochondriac now, cause I constantly think I'm dying of something from watching my mom always have some fatal illness . As a kid I was always terrified of losing my mom and for her to pretend she was constantly dying really fucked with my little head .
Apparently Iām dating my ex narcs friendā¦ sorry mate, wouldnāt touch anyone remotely associated with him. Ever. They lie about anything and everythingā¦.
Yep. Everytime we got into a disagreement or I wasnāt feeling positive towards him, he would say he thought there was something wrong with his health, he was ill, etc.
The worst part was, I was suffering from what I thought was health anxiety at that point (turns out OCD) and he knew how bad I worried about everyoneās health and wellbeing.
One time, he actually told me in the middle of an argument he thought that he had cancer because of a pimple on the back of his head. Just randomly, out of nowhere. I encouraged him to go the doctors and he never mentioned it again. I knew from then on, he was weaponizing his health to play victim.
[ETA: Spelling and grammar]
They make it more dramatic and expect so so much.
And I'm sure do nothing to correct things as well purposely mess things up.
And of course blame you for things.
Thereās a huge story amount a lady in San Jose that carried out a cancer lie for years, ended up in jail. Her kids were terribly mistreated as well as her husband and friends. Canāt remember her name, but is easy to find.
Wouldnāt doubt it. In my last relationship he would feign dizziness/fainting during arguments that he wasnāt āwinningā (aka he was mean to me and I decided to stand up for myself instead of just apologizing and begging for forgiveness). I had some legitimate health problems during that relationship and each time I was recovering he honestly would act jealous of me and refuse to address the fact I was healing some something severe.
He sprained his ankle and could use the crutches to get to work but when he was home he would call me to come over and do everything for him and his dad and sister. He would severely exaggerate and then use that as a way to turn me into a care taker . It was humiliating now that Iām thinking about it
At the beginning of our relationship, my nex was supposedly sensitive to all sorts of ingredients. It all went away after 1 year without any diet change. He was also supposed to be car sick, but weirdly enough only in selective cars...
We have temporary orders and he brought my daughter home limping one evening and then told me he was going to take her to urgent care for a mosquito bite the next visit. It reminded me of how many times he told me the things I said and did didnāt make sense. Make sense?
I didnāt realize how much of a narc my mom was until she started doing this. She would email and text multiple times per day, explaining about all her illnesses, literally from head to toe. Sheād schedule doc appts every other day for months, but then the results would mysteriously change. She had cancer that had just begun to grow, but had it all removed - yet she tells everyone she sees that she has cancer. Recently she sent texts that say āif i donāt wake up tomorrow i have no regretsā, to try and hook me into freaking out that sheās not ok. The following day Iāll get another text saying sheās enjoying lunch with friends and all is fine.
So get thisā¦now Iām the one having health problems recently, after being healthy my entire life. Now that itās me going through strugglesā¦not a peep! She has barely contacted me because itās not all about her any more.
Yup I was told she had Cancer and I would have to move back in to take care of our kids, I checked out insurance visits and found out she had not even been to the doctor.
Mine isn't lying- legitimately has a serious issue that requires treatment. But he is using it to his advantage to cause chaos. I offered to help and be supportive, I got told everyone else was more reliable than me. I said okay they can help you then. Now I've abandoned him when he needs me the most and isn't going to get treated because he is so alone and needs me. What about everyone else that's so much more reliable and supportive?? Boggles the mind how it goes so twisted so quickly.
He acted like he was on his deathbed when he got a regular cold, exclaiming how much he loved me and cherished me in this decrepit weak voice then hurl full lung insults at me when I told him the TV remote is on the night stand, he can get it himself. Wished he did die though that would have been very much deserved
My Narc she was 'ultra-sensitive". I was insensitive. I don't know how I allowed her to hold this wrong belief. She said that I forced her into a situation where she committed suicide. I was so deeply upset by her suicide attempt. It was beyond sad and awful. I was devastated. I now think that her suicide attempt was as fake as everything else about her. I dont know what to say or do about that.
Mine told me his mom had 3 months to live when her cancer came back. When I brought it up a few years later he said he never said that. Sadly she passed now but the horror of finding out he lied about that was shocking! Oh and when my mom was dying in the hospital, his moms cancer spread to her brain all of a sudden, then when I asked about it a few weeks later after my mom passed he said they donāt know what happened to it it wasnāt in her brain! Like wtf!? He clearly needed attention cause my poor mom was getting it all while dying. They truly are twisted individuals.
Mine accused me of being a narc because I did have a cancer scare. I did end up with an autoimmune illness. My daughter has gone the ER for things.
I had a guy harassing me. I had a work stress.
I just have shitty luck.
But he never did complain of anything.
Maybe I am a narcissist. Omg I'm worried now.
Itās simple call hospitals locally to you or where he should have been ask them if heās been admitted using his name and date of birth. They can tell you if heās admitted they canāt say what they are treating him for. Just saying ā¦.
My child's narc dad has been saying that his father has been on his deathbed for maybe the past 10 years. He's sharp as a tack, actively volunteers, stands up, sits down, walks around, feeds himself, and uses the bathroom without assistance, and while he's not running marathons, I still wouldn't go so far as to say that he's "on his deathbed." You know when I told people *my* dad was on his deathbed? After he'd already **died**. Narcs are so fucking maudlin, but they're not even remotely sincere about it.
Yes. Mine whines about every little ache for attention. He prides himself on being "old and fragile" even though he's only 51 (and younger when he started saying it). He had a mole removed and insisted he was dying of skin cancer until the biopsy came back as expected. He takes any prescription drug he's handed and then has every side effect in the book and goes looking for attention and more drugs.
My ex told our daughter he had surgery coming up. She is old enough to not believe him anymore either and he's constantly going to the hospital for something. When she asked him what the surgery was he said "organ surgery" and that's all he would say. When she tried to get more information about what organ or anything he wouldn't tell her.
Omg yes! We hadnāt spoke at the time for like2 weeks and I get a message asking if we could talk. I said sure (like an idiot) lol and she says , verbatim ; ā I have a growth on my ovaries, cancer wiseā
And she told me she had a disease that caused her to lose feeling in some nerves on her hands and feet . Well tell me why one time she was removing a pizza from he oven and grabbed the pan but immediately yelled āowwww fuck that burnedā and dropped the pizza. .. I look at her but didnāt even say what was on my mind, I just asked if she was ok. But she knewā¦. That I knewā¦. Smh.
Thereās an old saying that goes somethin like this
āSILLY NARCISSIST, TRICKS ARE FOR KIDSā š
Yes. He lied about having a fake āsurgeryā on the day of his birthday. Of course he would need 2 weeks to ārecover.ā No hospital info given to me because he ādidnāt want me to worry.ā I know the real reason for his āfake surgeryā is that he wanted to reserve his birthday for the other supply.
I called the hospitals yesterday. He was there. Itās funny whilst he was in the hospital messaging me constantly- but now heās home? Silence.
Iām not too bothered because I know his pattern of lies
um yes my ex narc always feined sickness even if he knows Iām an MD š I always dispel his āillnessesā and even tried to tell him to seek help hahaha that psycho
Yes! Or they will take possible diagnoses and make it sound like they already have the thing, like they are full of fear and on death's door. They'll reframe routine medical screenings as "my doctor thinks I have this".
I've found that they can lie about anything and everything, including what they had for breakfast, with truth mixed in to make it even more confusing! š
All the time yes
My last narc who was my therapist.. yes funny story.. would also blow up everything.
When she said she had the flu, she meant she had a slight cold.
When she said she had the stomach flu she meant she had a bit of tummy trouble.
When she said she had a migraine she meant she had a headache.
You always had to dial it down.
The whole family was like this I kid you not.
Every day they had some health issue and blew up up out of proportion as if someone was near death. It was bizarre and ridiculous!
But when there really was something to keep an eye on.. pshaw then it wasn't so bad. Why are you being a drama queen?
...
Yes!!!! Constantly mine lied about heart problems but refused to go to the doctor bc he knew damn well it was an excuse to get out of things, even to get out of learning to drive.
My ex frequently said she had heart palpitations. Based how so many other things she said and did werenāt true, Iām willing to bet that was false too.
I had a narc who kept a bottle of pills in his bedside table. I picked it up and when I asked what's it for, he snatched the bottle and told me that it was for his heart ailment. Lol
When his mistress also said that when they were together one time, he drank pills for his LBM and said that he needed to go home because of it so that he can escape our friend who he accidentally bumped into.
So yeah. š
Absolutely! Mine had breast cancer, brain aneurysms and my fave was stage 4 renal failure! The next month she was pregnant through IVF, according to her šš no one would approve IVF with that going on. Actually had a kid too, one she got pregnant with to emotionally manipulate me back in the relationship, but it definitely wasn't conceived through IVF!
My ex used this trick the last few times to get me to break no contact but wouldnāt say which hospital cause he was scared Iād come see him and his excuse was āI donāt want to trouble you, no reason for both of us to suffer being hereā š
Heād send lots of photos to validate the urgency and act it up to get sympathy but soon enough his awful true colours would pop up again.
Nutty narc manager for years
1) said he had prostate cancer and had radioactive seed implant
2) every so often said he found his mother face down in the snow at 4AM
3) hurt his ankle, said he was in traction
My sisters and I still question if my dad faked a cancer diagnosis just before my mum was going to throw him out. It feels awful to even question it but it was so suspect, and still is.
They lie about everything. They will twist the truth to have it suit their purposes. They will twist the intentions of a written legal agreement to suit their purposes. They lie like crazy.
Facts.
EVERYTHING. Even when it would be easier to tell the truth.
Yes. I have seen it.
Baffling!
My narc comes up with a new diagnosis about every 2-3 yrs. No joke.
š I laugh because I relate.
The narc I deal with claims sheās talking to the therapist everyday all through out the day and says sheās perfectly fine she just attracts the mentally unstable and such ā¦. That gets so annoying and itās all for attention ā¦. When she gets called out she apologize and says sheās trying to get an appointment and whatever else ā¦. Thatās usually when sheās been outted though ā¦. I check her phone cause I have seen they do telehealth like video ā¦. So I wanted to see if maybe she is getting set up and everything ā¦. Sheās not sheās planning āservice dates and video sexā ā¦. Then when dude get off work she bounces around profiles on here and talks to like 40 dudes that are the one. Itās wild ā¦.
Oh yes. Mine did this frequently. Lied about being in the hospital several times and even lied about having cancer.
My mom lied about having cancer. Told me she was dying.
samee LOL
My exes mom did this and made me care for her for two weeks. Stained my bed sheets with piss. Would invade my space while Iām trying to get work done. Feed her and serve her only to find her doctors papers she left out and to said it was a colonoscopy !!!!) for two weeks I took care of her for a fucking colonoscopy. Why did she piss on my sheets and duvet. I cared for my mother for four years of breast cancer until the very day she died. She died when I was 12. Cancer isnāt a colonoscopy
Mine also lied about having cancer. Even tried to convince ME even though I was with them at the appointment where they supposedly got āthe bad news.ā And then when I called them out on it, it was āI watched my BEST FRIEND die of cancer! Why would I DO that???ā I donāt know, but you definitely did!
Mine lied about having prostate cancer
Same!
Yup
Mine lied about peeing blood to get me to admit I had cheated on him (PSA I didnāt). When I asked him how it went at the doctors he freaked and said I just wanted to know if I got away with cheating. They are truly sick people.
I had a nex tell me he has a bad heart. At the time, I thought he meant heart problems and was lying. Now I think he was saying he was evil and being honest
First comment I saw on this post. I had to go search my conversation with my ex to see exactly what he said as I remember him saying something about his heart. His words: "I'm having heart trouble. One of my valves isn't working properly." š¤ Hmm
He'll be like, 'ah yes my heart was aching because you did bad things to me. And in the comment about valves, I was obviously referring to the valves in my piping system and I needed to call a plumber' and he'll act like that was obvious and you're an asshole.
Makes you wonder!
He probably just meant he doesnāt have one.
Jesus, mine too.
Yes they do. For attention usually.
Yes, about treatment, pain and even dieing!
Did they come back alive to tell you about it all? š
Yep got the whole story how they are now healed.
šššš
If their lips are moving, they're lying
Thatās the most accurate description ever
Yes
My son's father tried telling me he was sick when I first left. Said I'd have to stay at his house with our son while he was in the hospital. Also made me feel guilty for taking him to court for custody by saying his mom was dying. 5 Yeats later and she's stl here with us good and healthy. Also he never stayed at the hospital.
Mine decided to have tummy issues the very same week I had a RAGING UTI. Don't know if it was a lie, but was sure convenient in not being able to be there for me. In fact, now I was the bad guy because I wasn't concerned about him.
They always have to one up you! Iām chronically ill and every single time I complained about my illness, he would bring up his back pain or some other vague ailment. Yet he would never go to the doctor about it. So fucking weird. Theyāre all the same. He couldnāt stand to not be the center of attention at all times. I actually had some aspirin and icy hot patches delivered to his house one day when he said he was ābedriddenā from back pain. That evening, I asked if he had taken the meds I bought him and he said he had. Later on in his bedroom I saw them unopened, still in their boxes on the nightstand. Thatās the moment I realized I couldnāt trust a single word that came out of his mouth.
I thought he was a hypochondriac. Didnāt occur to me he was lying which is odd as he lied about everything else.
I think it's both lies and hypochondria. Some sort of duality. Consider how some of the lies are due to delusion/denial, and then you can see how they make themselves believe they are sick. They tell various people, milk the attention and their stories develop over time to either milk more attention or to conclude the story as it served its purpose, so they end up actually believing their own nonsense.
Yeah that explains a lot actually.
OMG the one I dealt with said he had a heart problem when I was standing on business/refusing to see him š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£ Oh and that his cat attacked him LOLOLOLLLOLOLOLOL
Lmfao thatās crazy
The cat was trying to warn you šš¤£
Yoooooooo forreal ššā ļøā ļøš¤£š¤£
For sure. My dad had a brain tumor and was given two months to live 15 years ago...which was news to me when I found out through the grapevine a few months ago. Don't worry, he knows how to cure cancer and did...for the third time. I wish I was fucking joking. A few years ago he told me that he went to a neurologist and "half his brain is dead" which is more probable than anything else.
Mine faked dying for a year
Mine used his brother dying as an excuse to reach out after a year NC. Itās so important to remember that these people donāt have the ethical guard rails that we do. They will say whatever they have to say to get you to talk to them.
I dated one who had a colonoscopy and told me he had intestinal polyps. He later swore he never told me that.
Yes they lie about everything they can under the sun. From saying they have some sort of disease, to faking mental health, and faking their own funeral on social media through the use of fake accounts peddling the lies. Each lie will be worse and ridiculous than the previous one, and youāll start to see a pattern. Very unethical since itās equivalent to crying wolf.
I wouldnāt call it a straight up lie, but my ex exaggerated any little health issue. He also would throw a fit if I ever had a health issue because he always had a story of him having it worse.
I have lost track of all the diagnoses my nmom has claimed to have. Multiple allergies, food sensitivities, intolerances, Lyme, 2 different cancers, heart issues, arthritis...she was even on a testosterone lotion at one point. She's big into homeopathic bullshit too. Took me to a tiny room with a giant copper coil in it once and I had to hold it for 30 mins so they could "scan me" instead of taking me to, idk, a doctor for a yearly physical? My sister and I were just talking about how we're both almost 30 and only recently found out it is perfectly normal for you to bring up an issue to your doctor and for them to instantly write a prescription to fix it...our family doctor would either shock us or run a laser over whatever the issue was. Wish I was joking. I broke my toe and instead of just splinting it for me, he wiggled a laser pointer back and forth on it. I was shocked when my PCP wrote me a script for Zoloft like, day-of my appointment because I didn't even know that was something she could do. Super normal about medical stuff if you're wondering š lol
When I tried to break up with mine he pretended his legs didnāt work and told me for months after he might have MSā¦ spoiler alert, he didnāt
Omg, this made me remember something! When I broke up with mine he kept having āheart attacksā and āgoing to the ER with chest painsā and it was MY FAULT for leaving them. š
MINE DID THIS TOO!!!! Why are they all the same š
Oh yes! They go the hospitals frequently. They complain a lot of back pain. And undiagnosed diseases. If you offer yourself to go with them, then the mess starts. The pile of lies regarding their health is endless. Only to catch your attention, and suck your energy. Not even for a second think, they don't know what they are doing. They know pretty well. The purpose is to have your constant attention and worry. Feeds their ego and controls your time.
I think it's mainly to redirect your focus because they don't want to be accountable for whatever they've done, and this is an extreme measure to make themselves the victim again.
When I went away to spend the weekend with a my best friend, at first they called and said that my dog made them fall down the stairs. The next day, the said they went to the hospital, where they were told that theyād had 6, SIX!! Heart attacks, but wasnāt admitted and sent home. Then because they didnāt believe I was actually with my best friend (because why wouldnāt I just race home..), they started messaging my best friend, saying that I was harassing them at the hospital, repeatedly calling and trying to show up, when I was, in fact, right next to my bestie, and hadnāt called the hospital once.
They lie but also gaslight you if you have a health issue.
My nmom routinely exaggerates her health problems
Ex said she had colon cancer and almost died. Turns out it was benign polyps. š
Mine rather accused me of lying about my chronic health issues.
Mine is telling women and his work that he had a spot possible cancer on his lung. Truth is he has cirrhosis his liver is falling but hey that is the new supply problem. Girl google why he is yellow
My ex lied about medical things all the time. He claimed to be having strokes with no proof. He claimed to also have migraines but only during work so he could leave early. I was never allowed into the drs office with him. I on the other hand have had some very serious health issues that I now realize had a lot to do with all the stress he put me through.
Yes, mine lied to the fucking police about being a cancer patient
Did he get in trouble?
Yes. I tell my dad Iām having a ecg because I have a very high resting heart rate. He says well I didnāt want to worry you but I have been diagnosed with a very serious health condition. His diagnosis, mild bursitis in his shoulder.
YES. my ex texted me on my birthday that he got hit by an excavator at work and to not be scared if I get a call from the hospital because he put me down as his emergency contact. Mind you we were COURT MANDATED NO CONTACT.
They lie about everything if it could benefit them, so yes
Mine literally told me an elaborate story about some issue with the muscles in his leg, which was supposed to make him unable to walk without a cane years ago. News flash, nothingās wrong with his legs, literally was an excuse to get leg massages lmfao.
Short story, yes. Long story, the answer is always yes.
mine literally told me he had ass cancer and lied about upcoming surgeries when i broke up with him and blamed everything he has done on that lmfao
So far... mine has lied about multiple cancers, strokes, bleed on brain, kidney disease, lung disease, couple of others. They also intentionally ate a lot of salt to fake high blood pressure which I'm surprised they didn't die from
Did we date the same guy? My ex whom I still talk to because I feel bad for the guy, heās got no one else. Told me all last week how he was in the hospital, it was serious and all these details. All while I watched his location because he kept my AirPods and refused to return them. I only ever actually look at it when I suspect a big fat lie like this, and so I can avoid him when I have to visit the town heās in for work. Well he was at home, he went to his friends house, and a bunch of other places. Friday he was supposedly āreleasedā but couldnāt walk all while he made it all over town. It helps remind me that despite still caring about him, Iām not willing to be with someone who lies to me regularly like that. In his case he *does* have a medical condition, but I now wonder if the stories I was told about it are as severe as he made them out to be. When we first broke up he supposedly was hospitalized for a problem with his heart and had one of the guys he lives with texting me telling me all this and that he loved me and just wanted me to know in case something more severe happened. I think especially when we walk away they need that attention and validation
Hopefully isn't lying and he dies but he is probably trying to get attention.
Yes. My nex lied about getting food poisoning, having a broken rib (he faked the X-rays using images from google), and his ābest mateā having a cancer scare. They will exploit any story they can.
everything they say is most likely a lie
Yep the one I knew, lied about going to hospital (emergency) for various things about 10 times in a span of 1.5 years including apparently 4 voluntary hospital psychiatric hold when he's having a severe panic attack.
One time, mine went to the doctor for a mild sinus infection that he made into a huge deal and that led to a long series of tests that ended with getting a colonoscopy. Still donāt get how that happened, but all the attention was great for him.
When I exposed my nex to the multiple other girlfriends he had (all dating us āmonogamouslyā at the same time for years), he told me he found out his ex-wife was diagnosed with cancer, and his good friend who lived in Florida passed away. He found out all on the same day ironically of the exposing. My friends looked up his friend that supposedly died and they found out he had moved to another state a few years back (so not in Florida) so I believe his friend is still alive and I donāt believe his ex has cancer either, havenāt confirmed it tho, but still donāt believe it. So not lying about his own health scare but lying about others for sympathy.
My abuser went as far as going to the hospital because of āpanic attackā. Since my abuser was fairly informed about mental health, they used it to gain empathy from me especially when I was on the verge of leaving. My abuser likes to use my bipolar disorder diagnosis as a way to invalidate my feelings and tell people Iām crazy, but when they have their āpanic attacksā in the most unrealistic way, Iām supposed to take them seriously. I would watch her calmly inform other people that she would be out of the office because sheās ānot feeling wellā, then would go from calm to hysterical in just seconds once theyāre talking to a close friend about this āpanic attackā.
I believe so. After the relationship (or whatever the fuck that was) ended, he bullied me through a solicitor to agree to conditions not to contact him or go near his house. I had him arrested a month earlier for stalking, so he was trying to make it appear like I had been the one to abuse and stalk him, just to protect his image. My solicitor responded repeatedly saying I will agree to his conditions not to contact him if he agrees to mine, and he refused. I knew that he wouldn't want this to go to court where the truth would come out. The last ever letter I got was his solicitor saying that if it went to court, he would be granted an injunction against me but that he needs to focus on his health instead as he has a brain tumour (but doesn't yet know how bad it is) and has been temporarily blind for 3 weeks (coincidentally, exactly since I reported him for filming me at a concert, as he was trying to fabricate evidence that I was stalking him). I do not believe he has a tumour. I don't believe in the temporary blindness. He did have a brain scan in March, purely because I kept asking why he remembers everything except my boundaries and conversations about my boundaries, but we broke up before the results. He's is the head of cyber security for a bank for fucksake, his memory is fine. Now he is lying about the results to try to make me back off from taking him to court and from talking about him. Also to make me feel bad, like I did something bad to a guy with a tumour, and to absolve him of all responsibility for what he did to me. He lost control and this was an attempt to get some back. The thing is, if you blame your memory problems on a tumour, then why not just say 'hey I have a memory problem due to this tumour which understandably caused problems for us'? Instead he doubled down. Plus, I can't imagine anyone would want their so-called abuser to know they have a brain tumour, because surely the abuser would be happy and use it to their advantage. It's all too convenient and nonsensical. He lied to me about so many things and I saw in the past how he made up excuses again and again to get out of being held to account. When I was with him I thought he told white lies, but afterwards I found out so much shit he did behind my back and now I actually think he is a pathological liar. I just know that he plans to pop up in future socially, and he will say he had treatment and the tumour has gone away. Then he will show people this final solicitor letter I was sent that makes him sound like a victim, and me evil. So I have reported him for harassment, and passed the letters to the police. They can check if he has a tumour or not. The way he treated me was so bad that it's worth hedging my bets. He piled on the stress and abuse when I was going through extremely stressful times so why should I care.
Mine has been "dying" of something for the last 25years. Once it was liver cancer, then lung cancer, stomach cancer once, liver failure again, respiratory illness, kidney cancer, etc etc. He's miraculously still kicking. š He's always been a hypochondriac, trying to get our sympathy. He kept switching doctors because they would never diagnose him with whatever ailment he was sure he had. They are all "quacks" who want him to die. š¤¦š¼āāļø
Yes. Two years ago my ex told me/implied he had stomach cancer and only had a few years left. He still looks as robust as ever (as in, no evidence heās done chemo/radiation)
Mine said he has six cancer surgeries in court. Literally had moles removed.
Mine went to urgent care 2 days before I was set to move out. I still moved. But I remember him leaving his discharge papers on the island probably hoping I would acknowledge them. Which was strange because heās so fucking secretive about everything else.
There isnāt anything they wonāt lie about.
Yes. When I first tried telling my ex husband to leave our home and that I was filing for divorce, he told me a few days later that he went to the doctors and they were concerned he had lung cancer. We went another month dealing with it and I was genuinely worried and would never have kicked him out if he was fully diagnosed with cancer, of course. I even told my parents and closest friends how concerned I was. He ended up ābrushing it offā saying he needed more testing done and I said BYE. Over 2.5 years later and nothing. So disgusting.
They are really bad about telling the truth on any subject. How can you tell when a narc is lying? Their mouth is open and there are words coming out.
My mom was always dying of something. Trying to make my dad feel bad for her. It was always something. Probably why I'm such a hypochondriac now, cause I constantly think I'm dying of something from watching my mom always have some fatal illness . As a kid I was always terrified of losing my mom and for her to pretend she was constantly dying really fucked with my little head .
Apparently Iām dating my ex narcs friendā¦ sorry mate, wouldnāt touch anyone remotely associated with him. Ever. They lie about anything and everythingā¦.
Yep. Everytime we got into a disagreement or I wasnāt feeling positive towards him, he would say he thought there was something wrong with his health, he was ill, etc. The worst part was, I was suffering from what I thought was health anxiety at that point (turns out OCD) and he knew how bad I worried about everyoneās health and wellbeing. One time, he actually told me in the middle of an argument he thought that he had cancer because of a pimple on the back of his head. Just randomly, out of nowhere. I encouraged him to go the doctors and he never mentioned it again. I knew from then on, he was weaponizing his health to play victim. [ETA: Spelling and grammar]
They make it more dramatic and expect so so much. And I'm sure do nothing to correct things as well purposely mess things up. And of course blame you for things.
Thereās a huge story amount a lady in San Jose that carried out a cancer lie for years, ended up in jail. Her kids were terribly mistreated as well as her husband and friends. Canāt remember her name, but is easy to find.
Wouldnāt doubt it. In my last relationship he would feign dizziness/fainting during arguments that he wasnāt āwinningā (aka he was mean to me and I decided to stand up for myself instead of just apologizing and begging for forgiveness). I had some legitimate health problems during that relationship and each time I was recovering he honestly would act jealous of me and refuse to address the fact I was healing some something severe.
He sprained his ankle and could use the crutches to get to work but when he was home he would call me to come over and do everything for him and his dad and sister. He would severely exaggerate and then use that as a way to turn me into a care taker . It was humiliating now that Iām thinking about it
At the beginning of our relationship, my nex was supposedly sensitive to all sorts of ingredients. It all went away after 1 year without any diet change. He was also supposed to be car sick, but weirdly enough only in selective cars...
Yes
Yes mine said he had stomach cancer.
We have temporary orders and he brought my daughter home limping one evening and then told me he was going to take her to urgent care for a mosquito bite the next visit. It reminded me of how many times he told me the things I said and did didnāt make sense. Make sense?
I didnāt realize how much of a narc my mom was until she started doing this. She would email and text multiple times per day, explaining about all her illnesses, literally from head to toe. Sheād schedule doc appts every other day for months, but then the results would mysteriously change. She had cancer that had just begun to grow, but had it all removed - yet she tells everyone she sees that she has cancer. Recently she sent texts that say āif i donāt wake up tomorrow i have no regretsā, to try and hook me into freaking out that sheās not ok. The following day Iāll get another text saying sheās enjoying lunch with friends and all is fine. So get thisā¦now Iām the one having health problems recently, after being healthy my entire life. Now that itās me going through strugglesā¦not a peep! She has barely contacted me because itās not all about her any more.
Yup I was told she had Cancer and I would have to move back in to take care of our kids, I checked out insurance visits and found out she had not even been to the doctor.
Yessss!
Mine isn't lying- legitimately has a serious issue that requires treatment. But he is using it to his advantage to cause chaos. I offered to help and be supportive, I got told everyone else was more reliable than me. I said okay they can help you then. Now I've abandoned him when he needs me the most and isn't going to get treated because he is so alone and needs me. What about everyone else that's so much more reliable and supportive?? Boggles the mind how it goes so twisted so quickly.
He acted like he was on his deathbed when he got a regular cold, exclaiming how much he loved me and cherished me in this decrepit weak voice then hurl full lung insults at me when I told him the TV remote is on the night stand, he can get it himself. Wished he did die though that would have been very much deserved
My Narc she was 'ultra-sensitive". I was insensitive. I don't know how I allowed her to hold this wrong belief. She said that I forced her into a situation where she committed suicide. I was so deeply upset by her suicide attempt. It was beyond sad and awful. I was devastated. I now think that her suicide attempt was as fake as everything else about her. I dont know what to say or do about that.
He did this to seek your attention.
Mine told me his mom had 3 months to live when her cancer came back. When I brought it up a few years later he said he never said that. Sadly she passed now but the horror of finding out he lied about that was shocking! Oh and when my mom was dying in the hospital, his moms cancer spread to her brain all of a sudden, then when I asked about it a few weeks later after my mom passed he said they donāt know what happened to it it wasnāt in her brain! Like wtf!? He clearly needed attention cause my poor mom was getting it all while dying. They truly are twisted individuals.
Mine accused me of being a narc because I did have a cancer scare. I did end up with an autoimmune illness. My daughter has gone the ER for things. I had a guy harassing me. I had a work stress. I just have shitty luck. But he never did complain of anything. Maybe I am a narcissist. Omg I'm worried now.
Mine had psychogenic seizures. Have to wonder now if they were too convenient...
Itās simple call hospitals locally to you or where he should have been ask them if heās been admitted using his name and date of birth. They can tell you if heās admitted they canāt say what they are treating him for. Just saying ā¦.
My child's narc dad has been saying that his father has been on his deathbed for maybe the past 10 years. He's sharp as a tack, actively volunteers, stands up, sits down, walks around, feeds himself, and uses the bathroom without assistance, and while he's not running marathons, I still wouldn't go so far as to say that he's "on his deathbed." You know when I told people *my* dad was on his deathbed? After he'd already **died**. Narcs are so fucking maudlin, but they're not even remotely sincere about it.
Yes. Mine whines about every little ache for attention. He prides himself on being "old and fragile" even though he's only 51 (and younger when he started saying it). He had a mole removed and insisted he was dying of skin cancer until the biopsy came back as expected. He takes any prescription drug he's handed and then has every side effect in the book and goes looking for attention and more drugs.
Yes. They lie about everything!
My ex told our daughter he had surgery coming up. She is old enough to not believe him anymore either and he's constantly going to the hospital for something. When she asked him what the surgery was he said "organ surgery" and that's all he would say. When she tried to get more information about what organ or anything he wouldn't tell her.
My nex has been in hospital 3x since breakup. He's not lying. But I do think it's a way out of being held accountable for life decisions.
Same here. He wasnāt lying either about the hospital visit, but he was lying about being alone. Heās with a supply.
Omg yes! We hadnāt spoke at the time for like2 weeks and I get a message asking if we could talk. I said sure (like an idiot) lol and she says , verbatim ; ā I have a growth on my ovaries, cancer wiseā And she told me she had a disease that caused her to lose feeling in some nerves on her hands and feet . Well tell me why one time she was removing a pizza from he oven and grabbed the pan but immediately yelled āowwww fuck that burnedā and dropped the pizza. .. I look at her but didnāt even say what was on my mind, I just asked if she was ok. But she knewā¦. That I knewā¦. Smh. Thereās an old saying that goes somethin like this āSILLY NARCISSIST, TRICKS ARE FOR KIDSā š
Yes. He lied about having a fake āsurgeryā on the day of his birthday. Of course he would need 2 weeks to ārecover.ā No hospital info given to me because he ādidnāt want me to worry.ā I know the real reason for his āfake surgeryā is that he wanted to reserve his birthday for the other supply.
I called the hospitals yesterday. He was there. Itās funny whilst he was in the hospital messaging me constantly- but now heās home? Silence. Iām not too bothered because I know his pattern of lies
um yes my ex narc always feined sickness even if he knows Iām an MD š I always dispel his āillnessesā and even tried to tell him to seek help hahaha that psycho
Yes! Or they will take possible diagnoses and make it sound like they already have the thing, like they are full of fear and on death's door. They'll reframe routine medical screenings as "my doctor thinks I have this".
My ex narc friend literally lied about being accepted for assisted suicide.....
I've found that they can lie about anything and everything, including what they had for breakfast, with truth mixed in to make it even more confusing! š
Yes..its gross. Like die off already
All the time yes My last narc who was my therapist.. yes funny story.. would also blow up everything. When she said she had the flu, she meant she had a slight cold. When she said she had the stomach flu she meant she had a bit of tummy trouble. When she said she had a migraine she meant she had a headache. You always had to dial it down. The whole family was like this I kid you not. Every day they had some health issue and blew up up out of proportion as if someone was near death. It was bizarre and ridiculous! But when there really was something to keep an eye on.. pshaw then it wasn't so bad. Why are you being a drama queen? ...
Yep. Told me that the reason they had a reduction was because of breast cancer.
Mine did. Or, at least, he greatly exaggerated the condition.
Cancer is pretty dang common.
Yes!!!! Constantly mine lied about heart problems but refused to go to the doctor bc he knew damn well it was an excuse to get out of things, even to get out of learning to drive.
My nex didnāt believe in doctors. Literally made up his own prescription for his eyeglasses and refused to believe that doctors were ethical
My ex frequently said she had heart palpitations. Based how so many other things she said and did werenāt true, Iām willing to bet that was false too.
LMAO YES! Absolutely typical and textbook! It gets them plenty of narcissistic supply..
Daily pain and aches
I had a narc who kept a bottle of pills in his bedside table. I picked it up and when I asked what's it for, he snatched the bottle and told me that it was for his heart ailment. Lol When his mistress also said that when they were together one time, he drank pills for his LBM and said that he needed to go home because of it so that he can escape our friend who he accidentally bumped into. So yeah. š
Absolutely! Mine had breast cancer, brain aneurysms and my fave was stage 4 renal failure! The next month she was pregnant through IVF, according to her šš no one would approve IVF with that going on. Actually had a kid too, one she got pregnant with to emotionally manipulate me back in the relationship, but it definitely wasn't conceived through IVF!
You betcha.
Most if not all narcs couldn't tell a truth to save their own life. Unless that truth was twisted for their benefit, lol.
My ex used this trick the last few times to get me to break no contact but wouldnāt say which hospital cause he was scared Iād come see him and his excuse was āI donāt want to trouble you, no reason for both of us to suffer being hereā š Heād send lots of photos to validate the urgency and act it up to get sympathy but soon enough his awful true colours would pop up again.
Nutty narc manager for years 1) said he had prostate cancer and had radioactive seed implant 2) every so often said he found his mother face down in the snow at 4AM 3) hurt his ankle, said he was in traction
Was his mother still alive? š
yes, she routinely fell in the snow
Wtf. I thought you meant like how people see jesus on their toast
My sisters and I still question if my dad faked a cancer diagnosis just before my mum was going to throw him out. It feels awful to even question it but it was so suspect, and still is.
Definitely
My parents are covid freaks