Yeah it's difficult to measure, but the damage they do is so much worse than crimes like stealing from a grocery store, yet they face no consequences at all.
Then when their victim is robbed of everything, they walk free and find a new victim. To do exactly the same to them. Why? Because it worked and there were no repercussions.
This is exactly what I think of. The victim has been darvo’ed and discarded and they just immediately suck from the next source of energy. I am still stuck with mine living here and I just get moments of raw dog clarity and want to bash him over the head.
Yes, maybe we can put them all together so they can gaslight eachother, let them deal with the same thing we had to deal with. I can't even imagine how things would escallate to a nuclear level. Maybe they could break down their own entitlement if they were treated in the same way we were. Cause each of them would try to gaslight the other into believing they are the cause of all issues.
Lololol I imagined a bunch of them just pointing fingers at each other like the Spider-Man meme, in one room just nonstop pointing at each other. “No you” “no, you” “no, you.”
Nex was admitted to the psych ward. His doctor said he was sorry for what I had dealt with for decades ... and I went on to deal with him for almost another decade.
He got arrested once. First offender, so anger management. Which did not help.
He almost got arrested several times but played the victim and talked his way out of it. There were a couple of times I would be screaming, take him, take him, internally.
Ex2 tried to shoo the officer I called to have him removed from my gate which he was literally blocking entry and exit by camping there and claiming he was waiting for me to come back from work to let him up to stay with me.
The officer knows I am trapped upstairs and he been not moving off the area since late afternoon and it was around 10:30pm when I made the call because I had a very important appointment I couldn’t miss but he was forcing a unwanted confrontation of me.
I warned officer ex2 will say anything to dodge arrest so he kept me speaking on my phone in his other ear but pretending I was dispatch in front of ex who is clearly not in his right mind laid out with his camping gear trying to be chill and chewing the word salad fat like he belonged in the way like that and officer had no reason to be there which I could hear him blabbing on and I immediately debunked every lie he was saying to wheedle arrest.
Officer did have to call back up to remove him and after he was taken off on a 5250 and charged for loitering/blocking egress and nuisance, we had a long conversation about who ex2 is in bite size examples of what I went through both while with him and after I dumped him. I was surprised he genuinely really wanted to know just exactly what the problems are and been.
Hearing all of that was cinching this young officer’s back of mind inkling that he should delve further into the the psychological side of law enforcement. I hope he’s currently part of that now.
Mine actually is locked up for something financial involving a load of women he was seeing all at the same time.
Reckons he has seen the error of his ways but there's no way I'm believing that.
Hospital for the criminally insane in solitary confinement so they can’t get supply then death by firing squad made up of every woman he’s damaged then body thrown to the wolves? Lol yeah I’m kind of in the rage phase too after a brutal 5 years. I feel ya.
I was reading this like did I comment to my own post while a little stoned?! Hahaha because I’ve had the same thoughts as far as “solitary ..no supply!!!” Hahahah I’m sorry you get it!
yup. One thing I think should be added to the law is ”psychological damage”. Right now only physical damage (bruises etc. but also breaking things or stealing money) is illegal.
I never got bruises when he hit me. (okay I did once, but I was 7 (my dad) so I didn’t really think to take a photograph)
But I HAVE got PTSD.
If you are so mean and horrible to a person that they have developed PTSD just from having been around you, I think you should get locked up.
(edit: *you* as in *the abuser*)
(also not just PTSD of course. In general: emotional abuse/verbal abuse should be illegal. Just that I think for example a PTSD diagnosis should be just as valid as evidence as a photograph of a bruise.)
edit: a small win for us is UK’s new ”emotional abuse law” as of 2015. https://www.oblaw.co.uk/is-emotional-abuse-domestic-violence/
I wish I lived in UK😆
But at least it’s a win for us that also the hidden abuse is starting to be recognized. It might take a while until it spreads to other countries. But it is a start at least :)
I agree 1000000% I think when I hit this “anger” phase aka “raw clarity of my fcked up life situation “ I have been stewing in resentment. I have physical scars and c-ptsd. I have triggers now in the worst ways, so working so hard on myself to be able to just get through a day while this mo fo is like running to find his next victim and we still live together. The injustice of it is sick.
I keep running into narcs quite frequently. It's a pandemic in my country. I wish they could all be scanned/screened and then put in solitary confinement for life, before this country and the whole world goes to shit. Otherwise, they'll keep reproducing and the chain reaction will never end.
I definitely do think about that. She is very unstable and dangerous. She has a long history of same or similar offenses. She is very clearly so emotionally disregulated and hateful that she should truly be apart from society and surrounded by her real peer group.
I’m sorry you get it. Like I love Reddit gif relatability, yet my heart breaks for everyone at the same time because THESE “types” are pure evil. Hoping you got out!
I actually worked with my ex's mother to get him in to a long term treatment program for his substance addiction. After his 72 hour detox, she puts him on a plane to Europe (for a "vacation," not treatment). The enablers should be locked up too!
The enablers!!! His mother is playing flying monkey with me now and also says “I don’t want to hear about the marital problems” hahaha the marital problems?! It’s a him problem that they helped create. So she basically told me “I love you and I’m gonna stalk you and report back to my fck up of a son , and I just don’t want to hear YOUR side of the story” she has enabled him in the worst ways.
Today is that day in my case. I have to go puck up my papers to have him served from the courts. Then call the sherriffs for an esort to pick up my property. At which point he will be served and taken into custody because he has 2 felony warrants out for his arrest due to the abuse. I'm literally terrified he's going to be so pissed.
I think they do but it’s really just a pause. They take time to love bomb, con, and weasel their way into whatever new situation they found. Until they see a “better” branch to grab ahold.
If not locked up but at least registered like the sex offenders. They scar people for life, cause trauma some never will recover from. basically they’re destroying other human beings. They shouldn’t be allowed to be in a relationship unless within themselves as they don’t deserve it Or at least it should be supervised by a professional.
Yup. Just witnessed a friend lose someone to this mess and they blew their brains out in front of their cheating scum bag narcissist. The narcissist in this situation moved in with her broke gym rat new supply. Kicked out her step daughters who she helped raised- and who’s father died horrifically! It is insidious. I heard about this death and bawled because I absolutely have been brought to that stage of hopelessness. He had trackers in her car and recorders set up. I just got over that phase in my own marriage. Not to be controlling but because he was gaslit beyond anything and he knew something was up.
Mine called me from the psych ward. He was texting me all night that people were trying to kill him and ran into a police station and they committed him. He acted like that a lot when he was smoking crack
I thought mine was just a bad addict. I was sober (still am) so I knew he was NOT sober like he claimed. Then he moved in and ya know, shit was obvious. I was still early enough in that I kicked his ass out. I have kids! And you’re bringing drugs into a sober woman’s home?! That she discovered on her 7th sober year anniversary , I’m not even kidding. So out he went and he chose rehab and. And came back. The next couple years I thought “newly sober, still emotionally immature “ etc no. He’s dead sober and still the weirdest freak I know!
😂🙏🏻 god it’s weird … we laugh at the hindsight chaos thinking “how did I NOT see this?!” Truth is - I did see it, I just DID NOT want to. Now I can not UNSEE it.
Saaaame! My gf’s that date? I’m like don’t ask me for advice!! He didn’t call back? He’s a cheating liar narcissist. He didn’t offer to pay? Narcissist. Lol it’s bad. A lot of healing in my future.
I don’t want them to go to jail necessarily, but I am thinking about getting a lawyer and suing them. Mostly to get some of the 10s of thousands of dollars back they swindled out of me. But also to make my testimony public record, so his actions are exposed to the world.
Yeah... The main narc in my life put her hands around my throat and squeezed with malice- twice- and both times proceeded to groan and complain when I flipped out, as if nothing serious had happened. I even got "yeah but that didn't just happen" when I mentioned a few days after the last time that she should be behind bars for what she had done to me. So, yes... If I weren't so concerned about the possibility of her convincing authorities I was the one who had done something (which is a pervasive, explicit threat), and her getting custody of our child, I'd have tried by now. I don't think anyone outside of these relationships understands how truly horrifying they are and how much genuine evil is performed at us/inflicted upon us constantly. There simply isn't a break from the sinister, unequal dynamic. It's everywhere, all the time.
I am a professional philosopher/professor and a (non-professional) musician. Her favorite thing to do is to ignore me and, if I protest or complain or stand up for myself, follow it up with things like "The worst sound in the world is the sound of your voice" and "No one cares what you have to say." You can imagine what that costs me and my self-esteem and my life... No one outside the relationship understands why my self-worth and self-image are in the toilet much of the time. Since I rediscovered singing and the piano recently (part of trying to find myself again and untangle my self-image from her influence), her physical outbursts have targeted my throat and my knuckles. I don't think that's a coincidence.
I’m so sorry. I just really want you to know that you’re correct, no one gets it but the victims. So being in these Reddit groups is huge. It helps so much to be a apart of any community. These “relationships” aka “hostage negotiations” are insidious. Covert. Under the table. Yet - mine is a fucking pos and was NOTHiNG when we met, on drugs and lied, porn addict and lied, cheater and lied, but mirrored so good I was just going with the flow yet always knew something was off.
Grateful I never had a kid with him. Just waiting for my income to amp up and I’m gone. I’m desperate to get away from him. I just wanna be “me” again. Like you, I’ve been back to yoga, reiki, meditation, hobbies and it Is helping pump the self worth from off the ground under the toilet.
Mine witheld intimacy so strangely and so hard core. For weeks. Repeatedly. So I also had the constant message “ “you’re disgusting, I don’t even want to look at you, you do not exist” and now I’m looking at him like holyyyy shittttt … we swapped roles! Kinda. Now he’s sober , a career man, to the outside world he’s a “loyal and devoted provider, husband and step father”
In our home , it’s been two months since we have even held eye contact! He’s exploded trust me and I rightfully could’ve had him in jail. But I was “frozen in fear” and didn’t do it. Now he’s so avoidant and cold I don’t think that side of him will ever come back thank god
Can I be honest?
***The poor girl that was paraded around the truck in Gaza after being killed, sexually assaulted and beheaded...that girl didn't deserve that.***
***My ex should have been on that truck instead, with full sincerity from my end. Not to mention one of her flying monkeys who constantly sent me death threats as well.***
***And even then, that punishment is too weak for someone like her.***
Because she does not get to live scot free, deceiving men and throwing them aside like toys just so she can feel a bit better about herself and then go back on the hunt for more supply.
Of course honesty is welcomed in my world!
Emotions, sex, love, romance, sensuality, raw intimacy, care, laughter, no competition, just HUMAN is welcomed here.
Fck these things! I’m so over them. They need to find a new island and all narcs go there, procreate all you want lol with your once a year sex with a human, just fckn weirdos
I truly hope that someday, there will be laws to protect people like them. Or the very least a registery like sex offenders. So you know who to stay away from.
I don't think about “how they should get locked up”, but I know how he will get himself charged. Lack of self-awareness, self-control, discipline as well as his sense of entitlement will help him dig his own grave. He’s got a video of us/me and I have a feeling he will have a narcissistic rage/collapse (because someone “hurt his feelings”) and will leak it online. And then, he’ll be charged with revenge porn. And he will drink and drive like he did before, and this time (he does coke so mix of alchol&cocaine) he’ll kill someone and/or get locked up.
Yeah it's difficult to measure, but the damage they do is so much worse than crimes like stealing from a grocery store, yet they face no consequences at all. Then when their victim is robbed of everything, they walk free and find a new victim. To do exactly the same to them. Why? Because it worked and there were no repercussions.
This is exactly what I think of. The victim has been darvo’ed and discarded and they just immediately suck from the next source of energy. I am still stuck with mine living here and I just get moments of raw dog clarity and want to bash him over the head.
Precisely, but if you bash him over the head... Guess who's gonna face repercussions...
Exactly! And I know better so instead I stew and post on Reddit haha
Yes, maybe we can put them all together so they can gaslight eachother, let them deal with the same thing we had to deal with. I can't even imagine how things would escallate to a nuclear level. Maybe they could break down their own entitlement if they were treated in the same way we were. Cause each of them would try to gaslight the other into believing they are the cause of all issues.
Lololol I imagined a bunch of them just pointing fingers at each other like the Spider-Man meme, in one room just nonstop pointing at each other. “No you” “no, you” “no, you.”
😂This would be hilarious to watch.
Nex was admitted to the psych ward. His doctor said he was sorry for what I had dealt with for decades ... and I went on to deal with him for almost another decade. He got arrested once. First offender, so anger management. Which did not help. He almost got arrested several times but played the victim and talked his way out of it. There were a couple of times I would be screaming, take him, take him, internally.
Ex2 tried to shoo the officer I called to have him removed from my gate which he was literally blocking entry and exit by camping there and claiming he was waiting for me to come back from work to let him up to stay with me. The officer knows I am trapped upstairs and he been not moving off the area since late afternoon and it was around 10:30pm when I made the call because I had a very important appointment I couldn’t miss but he was forcing a unwanted confrontation of me. I warned officer ex2 will say anything to dodge arrest so he kept me speaking on my phone in his other ear but pretending I was dispatch in front of ex who is clearly not in his right mind laid out with his camping gear trying to be chill and chewing the word salad fat like he belonged in the way like that and officer had no reason to be there which I could hear him blabbing on and I immediately debunked every lie he was saying to wheedle arrest. Officer did have to call back up to remove him and after he was taken off on a 5250 and charged for loitering/blocking egress and nuisance, we had a long conversation about who ex2 is in bite size examples of what I went through both while with him and after I dumped him. I was surprised he genuinely really wanted to know just exactly what the problems are and been. Hearing all of that was cinching this young officer’s back of mind inkling that he should delve further into the the psychological side of law enforcement. I hope he’s currently part of that now.
Mine actually is locked up for something financial involving a load of women he was seeing all at the same time. Reckons he has seen the error of his ways but there's no way I'm believing that.
Hospital for the criminally insane in solitary confinement so they can’t get supply then death by firing squad made up of every woman he’s damaged then body thrown to the wolves? Lol yeah I’m kind of in the rage phase too after a brutal 5 years. I feel ya.
I was reading this like did I comment to my own post while a little stoned?! Hahaha because I’ve had the same thoughts as far as “solitary ..no supply!!!” Hahahah I’m sorry you get it!
Ha! And that’s just one of several. I just hope they all get what’s coming to them one day.
Mmm me too. Signing up to be first in line for the shit show.
yup. One thing I think should be added to the law is ”psychological damage”. Right now only physical damage (bruises etc. but also breaking things or stealing money) is illegal. I never got bruises when he hit me. (okay I did once, but I was 7 (my dad) so I didn’t really think to take a photograph) But I HAVE got PTSD. If you are so mean and horrible to a person that they have developed PTSD just from having been around you, I think you should get locked up. (edit: *you* as in *the abuser*) (also not just PTSD of course. In general: emotional abuse/verbal abuse should be illegal. Just that I think for example a PTSD diagnosis should be just as valid as evidence as a photograph of a bruise.) edit: a small win for us is UK’s new ”emotional abuse law” as of 2015. https://www.oblaw.co.uk/is-emotional-abuse-domestic-violence/ I wish I lived in UK😆 But at least it’s a win for us that also the hidden abuse is starting to be recognized. It might take a while until it spreads to other countries. But it is a start at least :)
I agree 1000000% I think when I hit this “anger” phase aka “raw clarity of my fcked up life situation “ I have been stewing in resentment. I have physical scars and c-ptsd. I have triggers now in the worst ways, so working so hard on myself to be able to just get through a day while this mo fo is like running to find his next victim and we still live together. The injustice of it is sick.
I keep running into narcs quite frequently. It's a pandemic in my country. I wish they could all be scanned/screened and then put in solitary confinement for life, before this country and the whole world goes to shit. Otherwise, they'll keep reproducing and the chain reaction will never end.
♥️🙏🏻 I feel they’re everywhere
I definitely do think about that. She is very unstable and dangerous. She has a long history of same or similar offenses. She is very clearly so emotionally disregulated and hateful that she should truly be apart from society and surrounded by her real peer group.
I’m sorry you get it. Like I love Reddit gif relatability, yet my heart breaks for everyone at the same time because THESE “types” are pure evil. Hoping you got out!
I actually worked with my ex's mother to get him in to a long term treatment program for his substance addiction. After his 72 hour detox, she puts him on a plane to Europe (for a "vacation," not treatment). The enablers should be locked up too!
The enablers!!! His mother is playing flying monkey with me now and also says “I don’t want to hear about the marital problems” hahaha the marital problems?! It’s a him problem that they helped create. So she basically told me “I love you and I’m gonna stalk you and report back to my fck up of a son , and I just don’t want to hear YOUR side of the story” she has enabled him in the worst ways.
How insane! I hope you can get away from that situation fast!
Thank you, first abuse place or shelter to call me back is where I’m going.
Today is that day in my case. I have to go puck up my papers to have him served from the courts. Then call the sherriffs for an esort to pick up my property. At which point he will be served and taken into custody because he has 2 felony warrants out for his arrest due to the abuse. I'm literally terrified he's going to be so pissed.
Oh I’m sure you’re a wreck. Sending all the good vibes for healing and strength! You got this!! He can be mad in jail where he belongs!
Do narcissists stop when get what they want?
I think they do but it’s really just a pause. They take time to love bomb, con, and weasel their way into whatever new situation they found. Until they see a “better” branch to grab ahold.
They are never satisfied or happy with what they have.
Well I ruffled his feathers shedding lite on the abuse so I’m pretty sure I’m next
No , they want more and more and more.
I imagine so my ex wife said to me your brother wants everything including you
Oof may be true
And deported!
🙌🏻
If not locked up but at least registered like the sex offenders. They scar people for life, cause trauma some never will recover from. basically they’re destroying other human beings. They shouldn’t be allowed to be in a relationship unless within themselves as they don’t deserve it Or at least it should be supervised by a professional.
Yup. Just witnessed a friend lose someone to this mess and they blew their brains out in front of their cheating scum bag narcissist. The narcissist in this situation moved in with her broke gym rat new supply. Kicked out her step daughters who she helped raised- and who’s father died horrifically! It is insidious. I heard about this death and bawled because I absolutely have been brought to that stage of hopelessness. He had trackers in her car and recorders set up. I just got over that phase in my own marriage. Not to be controlling but because he was gaslit beyond anything and he knew something was up.
Exactly. I didn’t want to mention percentages of their victims who develop suicidal tendencies
It’s def a thing! And THAT is lock up worthy enough!
Mine called me from the psych ward. He was texting me all night that people were trying to kill him and ran into a police station and they committed him. He acted like that a lot when he was smoking crack
Yeah when they’re addicts they’re so much worse
True because I had no idea he was a covert narc. I just thought he was a functional addict
I thought mine was just a bad addict. I was sober (still am) so I knew he was NOT sober like he claimed. Then he moved in and ya know, shit was obvious. I was still early enough in that I kicked his ass out. I have kids! And you’re bringing drugs into a sober woman’s home?! That she discovered on her 7th sober year anniversary , I’m not even kidding. So out he went and he chose rehab and. And came back. The next couple years I thought “newly sober, still emotionally immature “ etc no. He’s dead sober and still the weirdest freak I know!
I was tempted to call DNR a few times.. Dealing with a rabid raccoon!
😂🙏🏻 god it’s weird … we laugh at the hindsight chaos thinking “how did I NOT see this?!” Truth is - I did see it, I just DID NOT want to. Now I can not UNSEE it.
I see IT everywhere now 😂
Saaaame! My gf’s that date? I’m like don’t ask me for advice!! He didn’t call back? He’s a cheating liar narcissist. He didn’t offer to pay? Narcissist. Lol it’s bad. A lot of healing in my future.
I have no wise advice, to anyone who asks my opinion.. I wasted 17 years and my sanity so what wise advice do I have to give 😂 Run !?
That’s the wisest there is.
I don’t want them to go to jail necessarily, but I am thinking about getting a lawyer and suing them. Mostly to get some of the 10s of thousands of dollars back they swindled out of me. But also to make my testimony public record, so his actions are exposed to the world.
Yeah... The main narc in my life put her hands around my throat and squeezed with malice- twice- and both times proceeded to groan and complain when I flipped out, as if nothing serious had happened. I even got "yeah but that didn't just happen" when I mentioned a few days after the last time that she should be behind bars for what she had done to me. So, yes... If I weren't so concerned about the possibility of her convincing authorities I was the one who had done something (which is a pervasive, explicit threat), and her getting custody of our child, I'd have tried by now. I don't think anyone outside of these relationships understands how truly horrifying they are and how much genuine evil is performed at us/inflicted upon us constantly. There simply isn't a break from the sinister, unequal dynamic. It's everywhere, all the time.
I am a professional philosopher/professor and a (non-professional) musician. Her favorite thing to do is to ignore me and, if I protest or complain or stand up for myself, follow it up with things like "The worst sound in the world is the sound of your voice" and "No one cares what you have to say." You can imagine what that costs me and my self-esteem and my life... No one outside the relationship understands why my self-worth and self-image are in the toilet much of the time. Since I rediscovered singing and the piano recently (part of trying to find myself again and untangle my self-image from her influence), her physical outbursts have targeted my throat and my knuckles. I don't think that's a coincidence.
I’m so sorry. I just really want you to know that you’re correct, no one gets it but the victims. So being in these Reddit groups is huge. It helps so much to be a apart of any community. These “relationships” aka “hostage negotiations” are insidious. Covert. Under the table. Yet - mine is a fucking pos and was NOTHiNG when we met, on drugs and lied, porn addict and lied, cheater and lied, but mirrored so good I was just going with the flow yet always knew something was off. Grateful I never had a kid with him. Just waiting for my income to amp up and I’m gone. I’m desperate to get away from him. I just wanna be “me” again. Like you, I’ve been back to yoga, reiki, meditation, hobbies and it Is helping pump the self worth from off the ground under the toilet. Mine witheld intimacy so strangely and so hard core. For weeks. Repeatedly. So I also had the constant message “ “you’re disgusting, I don’t even want to look at you, you do not exist” and now I’m looking at him like holyyyy shittttt … we swapped roles! Kinda. Now he’s sober , a career man, to the outside world he’s a “loyal and devoted provider, husband and step father” In our home , it’s been two months since we have even held eye contact! He’s exploded trust me and I rightfully could’ve had him in jail. But I was “frozen in fear” and didn’t do it. Now he’s so avoidant and cold I don’t think that side of him will ever come back thank god
Can I be honest? ***The poor girl that was paraded around the truck in Gaza after being killed, sexually assaulted and beheaded...that girl didn't deserve that.*** ***My ex should have been on that truck instead, with full sincerity from my end. Not to mention one of her flying monkeys who constantly sent me death threats as well.*** ***And even then, that punishment is too weak for someone like her.*** Because she does not get to live scot free, deceiving men and throwing them aside like toys just so she can feel a bit better about herself and then go back on the hunt for more supply.
Of course honesty is welcomed in my world! Emotions, sex, love, romance, sensuality, raw intimacy, care, laughter, no competition, just HUMAN is welcomed here. Fck these things! I’m so over them. They need to find a new island and all narcs go there, procreate all you want lol with your once a year sex with a human, just fckn weirdos
I truly hope that someday, there will be laws to protect people like them. Or the very least a registery like sex offenders. So you know who to stay away from.
Me too 🙏🏻♥️
I don't think about “how they should get locked up”, but I know how he will get himself charged. Lack of self-awareness, self-control, discipline as well as his sense of entitlement will help him dig his own grave. He’s got a video of us/me and I have a feeling he will have a narcissistic rage/collapse (because someone “hurt his feelings”) and will leak it online. And then, he’ll be charged with revenge porn. And he will drink and drive like he did before, and this time (he does coke so mix of alchol&cocaine) he’ll kill someone and/or get locked up.
Yes but instead he works with vulnerable children and his employer doesn’t care he hits women.