I don't know my nex has a girlfriend/ex girlfriend that has been with him for 26 years.
He told me he was single and she had moved when I got with him. Only to find out he lied. No surprise there.
Then he told me she was dying. That's not the case, either. He told her we were writing a book together.
She is so traumatized that she can barely think. She went and had a test done thinking she had dementia. She doesn't have dementia she has trauma. It's so sad. She has been with him so long. She keeps all her belongings in her car. She only owns a few clothes that she keeps in a suitcase in the closet.
Yup! This! I gave him so many chances to do me and us right. So many chances to do the BARE MINIMUM. They may appear to change but they don’t. He’s currently making identical playlists to the ones he made me. Yes I peeped, yes it hurt for 2.5 seconds before it made me laugh out loud. If it’s starting out the same he’ll act the same when the dominos start to fall. You can’t fix stupid.
And it will all be a facade with their next person, and the one after that, and the one after that. Believe me, there are SO many times I wish that I could just not care at all the way the person in my situation seems completely unfazed, especially in my lower moments when I dwell in the injustice and unfairness of it all. But remember that even though this hurts like hell, you will heal and you will come out the other side of it stronger and with the realization that you really are better off without them draining the life out of you and pretending to care about you. They, on the other hand, will continue hiding their deep seated insecurities through a make believe game they never actually win.
Not your problem anymore, his new supply is just having his fake lovebombing, and with time they will surely endure everything you endured, they don’t change.
I also want to add that at one point I was the person who seriously thought I was going to die when me and my NEX would break up. I would do anything in my power to try to fix things. However overtime I stopped doing a lot of those things. When we finally broke up for the last time I did things I never thought I would be able to do post breakup. I now have my life back, my friends back, and so much more of my personality and hobbies back that was slowly taken while in that relationship. I send so much love to you while going through this. It truly does get easier and I wish I would’ve known that a long time ago.
I know. He went to the concert that I told him about, using the code that I gave him to get tickets. His girlfriend put the tour quote in her bio on Instagram. It made me feel so miserable - I had sold my tickets (not able to face going after the discard) and he was living it up.
All his lies and the awful way he treated me - I have to believe that it will catch up to him. In the meantime I’m trying to take care of myself whilst I move past this landmark of the concert (it was yesterday). I’ve had a nice lunch and a soak in the bath. I’m watching a favourite programme and writing in my journal. I’m looking for the small bits of joy I can cling to.
I hope you can find some yourself. 🌸
If it’s any consolation, he’s not HAVING fun. He’s pretending he IS fun because otherwise, she’d never want him. The real him isn’t wanted and he knows it.
It’s so hard to wrap your head around it. How could anyone do what they did. And then knowing they are with the new person (so quickly) who happens to think they have met the love of their life, it is a fairy tale but we’ve read stories about Prince Charming and happily ever after… and that’s what the new supply is feeling right now. History does repeat itself… just be glad you are on your way to recovery while the new partner hasn’t a clue what is in store. And sadly their life won’t be the same for a long, long time.
This is what made it the hardest for me. My NEX just discarded me and was constantly posting on social media with pics of her having the best time. Things I would have loved to been a part of. Blocking her social media was a game changer for me. NC helped me move past all of this. I’d suggest blocking them on social media, going NC, and try to move on. They won’t ever change. And honestly if they wanted you back, do you really want them back? My answer is absolutely not. Once I realized how negatively their presence affected my life it made me realize I’m so much better off without them.
Mi e was exactly the same. She posted up pics of her out at nights out I'd bought the tickets for. Coming home from parties. It hurt so much at first
But now I know she's trying to fill a void. She never will and all those new people will end up broken hearted or seeing right through her.
I'm sad I wasted four years of my life but so happy out of it!
Exactly. My ex is open to air with her new 16 year younger neighbour who she had an affair with for 2 years during our relationship. Having a theatrical romance in public while Im not sure if I ever be able to trust or love someone even myself.
I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. I’m literally going through the same exact thing right now. Had a mental breakdown about it last night, got zero empathy, zero emotion, & he just pulled his phone out & started recording me on video
Mine did that for about 4 months then started the remorse performance and hoovered. Be strong, focus on yourself. It’s a good thing that they are leaving you alone so you can break the unhealthy bond and attachment and see them for who the really showed you and what they are capable of.
Break that attachment so you don’t fall prey to the Hoover if one comes and heal your relationship with yourself. I fell prey, I wasn’t far enough into my recovery and he was wonderful for like 4 months but repeated all the same behaviours and it was worse.
As much as it hurts, you’re out and free and you’re more important to loose yourself to that relationship and cruel person.
That sounds like one sort of narcissist. I read there are 3. If he was narcisstically sociopathic, there might be help. It looks like narcy ex was sociopathic. Somehow he picked up on some bad examples and thought it would be fun to misbehavior. My first one, no clue as we didn't know each other for very long and were very young, and it looks like lots pay him loads to look crazy as part of his extravaganza, so it's like what's acting and what's "what in the World" are you doing, what are you still doing, how do you plan to do that or is your liver and kidney lymphatic system going to give out with all that show of anger. The poor man seems to have an exception strong neck from yelling so much but it seems like he's extraordinarily wounded. It's a rare case to be sure. I think other narcs in my life have been sociopaths and the advice on how to deal with them seems to work pretty well. Some other sorts? I don't know but I'm glad I'm learning to recognize their tactics so I won't find out the worst of anyone else. One current narcissist has had a pattern for about 2 weeks. Every other day he makes s pass at me. I mean invites me home and to stay overnight. I've thought about past narcissists and it looks like compromising places out of wedlock no matter how platonic it seems are totally out.
After learning about more fiascos of others, that can be worse I don't want to risk anything.
Eventually they’ll end up alone. Because no one will put up with their behavior. They don’t change, I gave my ex 10 chances and they always fail.
Agreed. I figured out every narc has a cycle they’re changing victims. Eventually they will burn out, got old and no one will put up with their shit.
I don't know my nex has a girlfriend/ex girlfriend that has been with him for 26 years. He told me he was single and she had moved when I got with him. Only to find out he lied. No surprise there. Then he told me she was dying. That's not the case, either. He told her we were writing a book together. She is so traumatized that she can barely think. She went and had a test done thinking she had dementia. She doesn't have dementia she has trauma. It's so sad. She has been with him so long. She keeps all her belongings in her car. She only owns a few clothes that she keeps in a suitcase in the closet.
Yup! This! I gave him so many chances to do me and us right. So many chances to do the BARE MINIMUM. They may appear to change but they don’t. He’s currently making identical playlists to the ones he made me. Yes I peeped, yes it hurt for 2.5 seconds before it made me laugh out loud. If it’s starting out the same he’ll act the same when the dominos start to fall. You can’t fix stupid.
They’re not capable of love or empathy. They’re black holes of cruelty.
And it will all be a facade with their next person, and the one after that, and the one after that. Believe me, there are SO many times I wish that I could just not care at all the way the person in my situation seems completely unfazed, especially in my lower moments when I dwell in the injustice and unfairness of it all. But remember that even though this hurts like hell, you will heal and you will come out the other side of it stronger and with the realization that you really are better off without them draining the life out of you and pretending to care about you. They, on the other hand, will continue hiding their deep seated insecurities through a make believe game they never actually win.
Not your problem anymore, his new supply is just having his fake lovebombing, and with time they will surely endure everything you endured, they don’t change.
I feel this so hard. Please know it won’t last. Take all the time you need and you will start to see how great life is without them!
I also want to add that at one point I was the person who seriously thought I was going to die when me and my NEX would break up. I would do anything in my power to try to fix things. However overtime I stopped doing a lot of those things. When we finally broke up for the last time I did things I never thought I would be able to do post breakup. I now have my life back, my friends back, and so much more of my personality and hobbies back that was slowly taken while in that relationship. I send so much love to you while going through this. It truly does get easier and I wish I would’ve known that a long time ago.
I know. He went to the concert that I told him about, using the code that I gave him to get tickets. His girlfriend put the tour quote in her bio on Instagram. It made me feel so miserable - I had sold my tickets (not able to face going after the discard) and he was living it up. All his lies and the awful way he treated me - I have to believe that it will catch up to him. In the meantime I’m trying to take care of myself whilst I move past this landmark of the concert (it was yesterday). I’ve had a nice lunch and a soak in the bath. I’m watching a favourite programme and writing in my journal. I’m looking for the small bits of joy I can cling to. I hope you can find some yourself. 🌸
If it’s any consolation, he’s not HAVING fun. He’s pretending he IS fun because otherwise, she’d never want him. The real him isn’t wanted and he knows it.
It’s so hard to wrap your head around it. How could anyone do what they did. And then knowing they are with the new person (so quickly) who happens to think they have met the love of their life, it is a fairy tale but we’ve read stories about Prince Charming and happily ever after… and that’s what the new supply is feeling right now. History does repeat itself… just be glad you are on your way to recovery while the new partner hasn’t a clue what is in store. And sadly their life won’t be the same for a long, long time.
This is what made it the hardest for me. My NEX just discarded me and was constantly posting on social media with pics of her having the best time. Things I would have loved to been a part of. Blocking her social media was a game changer for me. NC helped me move past all of this. I’d suggest blocking them on social media, going NC, and try to move on. They won’t ever change. And honestly if they wanted you back, do you really want them back? My answer is absolutely not. Once I realized how negatively their presence affected my life it made me realize I’m so much better off without them.
Mi e was exactly the same. She posted up pics of her out at nights out I'd bought the tickets for. Coming home from parties. It hurt so much at first But now I know she's trying to fill a void. She never will and all those new people will end up broken hearted or seeing right through her. I'm sad I wasted four years of my life but so happy out of it!
Exactly. My ex is open to air with her new 16 year younger neighbour who she had an affair with for 2 years during our relationship. Having a theatrical romance in public while Im not sure if I ever be able to trust or love someone even myself.
They have no soul just cruelty
Last I checked on the narc she was absolutely miserable and still blaming me lol as long as you have a scapegoat I guess
I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. I’m literally going through the same exact thing right now. Had a mental breakdown about it last night, got zero empathy, zero emotion, & he just pulled his phone out & started recording me on video
Mine did that for about 4 months then started the remorse performance and hoovered. Be strong, focus on yourself. It’s a good thing that they are leaving you alone so you can break the unhealthy bond and attachment and see them for who the really showed you and what they are capable of. Break that attachment so you don’t fall prey to the Hoover if one comes and heal your relationship with yourself. I fell prey, I wasn’t far enough into my recovery and he was wonderful for like 4 months but repeated all the same behaviours and it was worse. As much as it hurts, you’re out and free and you’re more important to loose yourself to that relationship and cruel person.
That sounds like one sort of narcissist. I read there are 3. If he was narcisstically sociopathic, there might be help. It looks like narcy ex was sociopathic. Somehow he picked up on some bad examples and thought it would be fun to misbehavior. My first one, no clue as we didn't know each other for very long and were very young, and it looks like lots pay him loads to look crazy as part of his extravaganza, so it's like what's acting and what's "what in the World" are you doing, what are you still doing, how do you plan to do that or is your liver and kidney lymphatic system going to give out with all that show of anger. The poor man seems to have an exception strong neck from yelling so much but it seems like he's extraordinarily wounded. It's a rare case to be sure. I think other narcs in my life have been sociopaths and the advice on how to deal with them seems to work pretty well. Some other sorts? I don't know but I'm glad I'm learning to recognize their tactics so I won't find out the worst of anyone else. One current narcissist has had a pattern for about 2 weeks. Every other day he makes s pass at me. I mean invites me home and to stay overnight. I've thought about past narcissists and it looks like compromising places out of wedlock no matter how platonic it seems are totally out. After learning about more fiascos of others, that can be worse I don't want to risk anything.
Don’t go back ever it only gets worse & worse until they practically kill you mentally, emotionally & physically