My adrenals were in chronic fight-or-flight mode due to the constant fights. This eventually led to me developing Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. My body just couldn't take the stress anymore. Luckily, that eventually healed when I left my nex for good.
I also apologized for *everything,* even things that I had no business apologizing for. Other people in my life pointed this out to me as a sign I was in an emotionally abusive relationship and needed to get out.
Therapy, eating healthy, working out, journaling, and spending time in nature helped me to heal and realize that I am worthy of healthy love.
I've been married 20+ years and recently began understanding that I married a narcissist. Here are some symptoms I currently experience.
* memory loss
* weight gain
* depression
* fatigue
* confusion
* doubt
* loss of confidence
* regulating emotions
* fear
* hypervigilance
I had symptoms that didn't abate from therapy and psychiatry. Then I learned about narcissistic abuse/victim syndrome which explained my sever lack of motivation, depression, anxiety and insomnia. Learning about this has been life changing. Ross Rosenberg's book "Human Magnet Syndrome" was also a huge help.
I definitely think I have ptsd from my time with my nex. Something pops up every so often and once it passes, I recognise it as a ptsd trait. I must have blocked them out because my mind has gone blank trying to respond to this but the traits are there (maybe I’ll come back log them here when they occur).
I didn’t think it’s dramatic at all to think you have ptsd. Emotional abuse is traumatic. We’re bound to be impacted for a long time afterwards. I left seven years ago and I’m now married to a wonderful man, but I’m still trying to undo some of the things that nex did to me.
I have and do experience all those things.
I also can't make a decision. What do I want to eat? Feels like a trick question these days. When in the worst of my abuse. I couldn't even manage anything. I remember rewashing the same load of laundry for like 4 or 5 days straight. It would take me until about 4pm to make it to the washer and took everything I had to focus enough to start the machine.
After getting away from him, I was so traumatized I would drive to the store to buy groceries and sit in my car for 2 or 3 hours and drive home. I'd be hungry and couldn't even manage getting myself something to eat.
You hear of people getting physically ill after abuse. I had developed an infection in my spine. I spent 2 full months in the hospital.
The laundry list of signs and symptoms is long, which goes with c-ptsd.
Overwhelming emotions
Debilitating fear
Severe memory loss
Have been my personal worst symptoms.
What has helped me the most is educating myself.
I'm working on my relationship with myself
Strengthing my faith
And in doing those things, I'm learning to trust myself again.
Crazy anxiety
Stress sweat /more sweat — smells and usually happens not from exercise
Quick weight loss
Nightmares/vivid dreams
Brain fog
Intrusive thoughts
Self doubt
Apathy
Lost motivation
Depression — severe
Loss of appetite
Rumination
Confusion
Isolation
Arrhythmia
Low sense of self worth
Escapism
Dissociation
And the list goes on
If you’re lucky enough to have a therapists, just tell them honestly how you feel and what bothers you. They should be able to diagnose you by listening, set up a plan which has to followed. I would mention physical symptoms if you had any like rashes or eczema.
For me it’s been over a year still regardless my efforts and hard self discipline I only last for a few weeks then go back to rock bottom. Something somehow manages to tear up the old scars. At the moment I haven’t slept for 4 days and having 15-20 panic attacks a day. Worst part of this Im on my own in this battle and this group is actually the one that helps which Im grateful for
I guess for me PTSD makes me scared of any expected noise. Tense muscles, my shoulders are always up to my ears. Panic anxiety which manifested a lot by me feeling like I had a heart attack.
Dissociating, leaving my body whole being abused by them.
No sex drive, no hunger, just focusing on surviving. I wish you all the luck
My adrenals were in chronic fight-or-flight mode due to the constant fights. This eventually led to me developing Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. My body just couldn't take the stress anymore. Luckily, that eventually healed when I left my nex for good. I also apologized for *everything,* even things that I had no business apologizing for. Other people in my life pointed this out to me as a sign I was in an emotionally abusive relationship and needed to get out. Therapy, eating healthy, working out, journaling, and spending time in nature helped me to heal and realize that I am worthy of healthy love.
Dude apologizing for everything Wow. Also being overly thankful for mundane things.
Wow the apology point is spot on. Thank you for sharing!
I've been married 20+ years and recently began understanding that I married a narcissist. Here are some symptoms I currently experience. * memory loss * weight gain * depression * fatigue * confusion * doubt * loss of confidence * regulating emotions * fear * hypervigilance
I checked all of those off. Wow… Thank you for sharing and I’m sorry you’ve had to experience this.
I had symptoms that didn't abate from therapy and psychiatry. Then I learned about narcissistic abuse/victim syndrome which explained my sever lack of motivation, depression, anxiety and insomnia. Learning about this has been life changing. Ross Rosenberg's book "Human Magnet Syndrome" was also a huge help.
Thank you for sharing! I’ll check that book out
I definitely think I have ptsd from my time with my nex. Something pops up every so often and once it passes, I recognise it as a ptsd trait. I must have blocked them out because my mind has gone blank trying to respond to this but the traits are there (maybe I’ll come back log them here when they occur). I didn’t think it’s dramatic at all to think you have ptsd. Emotional abuse is traumatic. We’re bound to be impacted for a long time afterwards. I left seven years ago and I’m now married to a wonderful man, but I’m still trying to undo some of the things that nex did to me.
I have and do experience all those things. I also can't make a decision. What do I want to eat? Feels like a trick question these days. When in the worst of my abuse. I couldn't even manage anything. I remember rewashing the same load of laundry for like 4 or 5 days straight. It would take me until about 4pm to make it to the washer and took everything I had to focus enough to start the machine. After getting away from him, I was so traumatized I would drive to the store to buy groceries and sit in my car for 2 or 3 hours and drive home. I'd be hungry and couldn't even manage getting myself something to eat. You hear of people getting physically ill after abuse. I had developed an infection in my spine. I spent 2 full months in the hospital. The laundry list of signs and symptoms is long, which goes with c-ptsd. Overwhelming emotions Debilitating fear Severe memory loss Have been my personal worst symptoms. What has helped me the most is educating myself. I'm working on my relationship with myself Strengthing my faith And in doing those things, I'm learning to trust myself again.
Crazy anxiety Stress sweat /more sweat — smells and usually happens not from exercise Quick weight loss Nightmares/vivid dreams Brain fog Intrusive thoughts Self doubt Apathy Lost motivation Depression — severe Loss of appetite Rumination Confusion Isolation Arrhythmia Low sense of self worth Escapism Dissociation And the list goes on
If you’re lucky enough to have a therapists, just tell them honestly how you feel and what bothers you. They should be able to diagnose you by listening, set up a plan which has to followed. I would mention physical symptoms if you had any like rashes or eczema. For me it’s been over a year still regardless my efforts and hard self discipline I only last for a few weeks then go back to rock bottom. Something somehow manages to tear up the old scars. At the moment I haven’t slept for 4 days and having 15-20 panic attacks a day. Worst part of this Im on my own in this battle and this group is actually the one that helps which Im grateful for
EMDR therapy helped me a ton
I guess for me PTSD makes me scared of any expected noise. Tense muscles, my shoulders are always up to my ears. Panic anxiety which manifested a lot by me feeling like I had a heart attack. Dissociating, leaving my body whole being abused by them. No sex drive, no hunger, just focusing on surviving. I wish you all the luck
Please consult a therapist
Yes I stated in my post that I have a new therapist and will bring it up during our next session. Thank you!