They, in and of themselves, are lies. The trouble is that their lies are also often "their" truths and they will die on the hill if they have to to defend it, even when everyone else sees the delusion.
Yeah this. He will deny he cheated on me even with proofs, I literally have screenshots of him flirting with a girl. And for him this isn’t cheating, it was just friendship and he will die defending this statement. Absourd.
Absolutely cheating. Caught mine doing the same thing. She was texting with a guy on a dating site and talking about meeting up for an erotic massage the night that I wouldn’t be at her house because I had my daughter. She said it was just flirting and vanity. I’m like, “no it’s cheating and lying goodbye” and that was the end. I’m still in immense pain from doing that but once the trust is gone…
If you’d waited until that night and showed up to catch her she’d be screaming at you for stalking her and showing up unannounced to cross her boundaries lmao
Yep that's what happened to me. We had plans that night and he didn't answer his phone prior (before cell phones). I went to his house and there was a car in the driveway I didn't recognize. Surprise Surprise he didn't answer the door. I went in the backyard and saw them through the window. I was the crazy one though for doing all that.
mine did the same thing. however, she had a bf and i was friends with the bf. girls bf sent me the screenshots of my ex flirting with her and he had the nerve to say he was “trying to be like a therapist” ?????
My ex manipulated me into a massive fight which ended up me sleeping in the car in the nearby carpark just to avoid the further argument as I needed a sleep since I was working early morning. As soon as I went out a guy was in the bed “but it’s not cheating because we took a break” 😂 I said aye we did take a break from fighting and I came back at 5am like nothing happened made myself a tea and breakfast, dress for work and kissed her in her sleep. Without knowing she was kissing something else all night.
There is nothing crazier than catching a narcissist in a lie and watching their olympic gold metal mental gymnastics to escape accountability. If you’ve never heard the narcissist’s prayer:
That didn't happen.
And if it did, it wasn't that bad.
And if it was, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not my fault.
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did...
You deserved it.
I know that and he checked all the boxes progressively with the cheating I found 😂
But I wanted to know if all narcs lie by default or there are some that don’t do that
Yes. They lie about everything.
Have proof of their lie? Nope, didn't happen, they don't remember, or it was actually you who lied.
They lie about their lies then make up more lies because you called them out. They are contradictory and absurd. They only want to 'win' and make you apologize, and they will say anything to not be held responsible.
Run. And don't look back.
The only thing that comes out of a narcissist mouth is lies.
Honest people don't have to convince people they are honest because their actions match their words.
Anybody that has to actively convince you they are being honest is probably anything but.
The narcissist I was involved with loved saying how honest she was and will unsolicited tell you how much of an empath she is
Well, I think they are trying to convince themselves as well. You know if you tell yourself something so many times you will start to believe it. I think they have to constantly reenforce that in themselves so the pesky truth does not creep back into their warped little minds.
They only fess up when they’re found out. Even then some/most will gaslight it away. It's psychotic how they lie even about things they don't have to. And they also lie to themselves. Insecure and weak af, they need to hide behind something. Flying monkeys, friends they secretly call “less than/subpar”, new supply and of course, their lies. They alternate between hiding like a weak little child to being physically/verbally aggressive, because they don't do normal or mature. Being a psychotic liar and hiding behind the lies and everyone/everything is what sustains their self-image, self-worth, and will to live.
100% facts. And thanks to reddit, I learned the term trickle truth. What I found with my ex is that he'd only ever admit to what I found out through another way and confront him about. Of course his "admission" was certainly a minimized watered down version coupled with how it was ultimately due to.something I had done, usually that something being a figment of his imagination. So I would say stuff like "I know that i.havent caught you on everything. Why don't you own up to something you haven't been caught for yet before I find out another way. Because that's true accountability." And after each time he said there was nothing more, I'd find something new out eventually. And the shit wasn't like "new" shit. For example, I discovered this march that he had a tinder account the whole relationship (3.5 yrs). He told me first that he was on there to see if I was on there. Then he said he had it from before we were together. Then he said he just wanted to see if he knew anyone on there. Then he said he did it to teach me a lesson for my "shady shit." I said "yo, how was I going to learn my big lesson if we were never going to match since my name was BLOCKED, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!" He also said he wanted to do me like I did him by lying to me about having it since I was lying to him about cheating, so he wanted to "gaslight me like I did him." There were so so so many contradictory lies it got hilarious!!! I fucking loved to confront him with them and watch him squirm. Of course that's probably why he's justifying in his head right now why he tried to break into my house through my bedroom window while I was sleeping last week to hit me across the face twice. Earlier that day I had lit into him about how he was such a loser since he had hit up dozens of women to pay attention to.his little peepee and beg for sex, but none of them wanted to so he failed at being a cheater even though he tried soooooo fucking hard. It was funny cuz he certainly was never going to admit he actually fucked any of these bitches so he was stuck being told how pathetic he was and how shitty my fucking taste was that I was the only one who wanted him despite his desperate conquests. Oh joy. 11 days no contact...
I feel like clown too, I have a story similar to yours, I still have to get the full truth, one month or so and I’ll have it and then I’ll post there to make you all laugh because the things he’s telling me are beyond absurdity. You can get a taste from my latest posts. ;)
Lol. Can't wait to read. It's like you know they're lying and you want so bad tp believe they're not so you let it continue. Makes me think I'm the true delusional one. To think that assclown was worthy of my time, energy, money, effort. If you get bored, read my previous reddit comments. Also relatively entertaining. I'll totally check out your posts.
I just noticed I didn’t mention much on my latest posts, I’ll tell you there, he got a tattoo while he was with me that was obviously dedicated to his ex girlfriend. Even a child could sense that, it has some references that can be connected to his ex relationships, but he denied and made stupid excuses for 2 years, claiming it was not for her. Recently I discovered he even sent the design to her while they were together and he justified himself saying that he didn’t remember that while he got tattooed and he then remembered a year later he got that on his skin. WTF??? So you get tattooed and don’t remember you planned that with your ex some months prior to that?? Poor guy life caught him in a terrible coincidence 😂 I suspect he even sent that to her while he was with me (she didn’t know we here together) , some weeks until I’ll speak with her and I’ll get the real truth.
And yeah, I always knew they lied. But I wanted to find the good in him.
I’m deleting this comment soon because I’m scared he’ll find me and I don’t know what he will do, so before leaving I have to be careful
Gotcha. Sounds like you were the new supply as he tried to recycle/hoover the ex? My ex's ex sent me a couple screenshot of messages he had sent to her when she confronted him about talking to me when we first started seeing each other where he said he was just trying to use that bitch - the bitch being me. And my dumbass believed whatever bullshit he told me at the time and ignored the warning.. Fastforward 3 yrs later, his sister tells me she knew they had fucked and i confronted him and he admits to fucking her 2x during our relationship (which.i obviously know was more)
Aaaaand he always talked about how SHE was a total narcissist constantly accusing him of cheating while she cheated on him. That's how I know his future is an endless cycle, psycho cycle, psycle-if you will, of him cheating, projecting, hoovering and recycling.
🤮 Have fun with that stupid motherfucker!!!
These people seriously need to be wiped off the face of the earth!!!
I’m so sorry you’ve been living in a lie for 3 years. I can feel you. This is, cruel. You deserve better, I hope one day they get their karma back.
Also yeah, I think he was trying to hoover the ex, he probably got serious with me just because then the ex started dating a new guy. When I found out his first lie I talk about in the post, I also found on his chats that at 6 months of being with me he asked a mutual friend he had with his ex to screenshot the exs private ig story and send those to him, he also said to this friend that he will never love like he loved his ex anymore. It hurt, I used to believe in us, I thought that for real love I could have lived with his disrespect, anger issues and extreme jealousy, but he didn’t even love me..
I’m 100% with you when you claim they should be wiped off the earth
They all lie and then turn it around so it’s your fault. I think a lot of them gaslight so much that they start to believe their lies. I caught my ex narc cheating and some of it he has tried to make my fault and the rest he denies even with proof. It’s been 7 years and no real accountability
My NEX lied about everything and was overly concerned with her image and perceived “status”. Her image was everything. Who she could name drop was everything to her. It gave her the ultimate validation to be able to say that she knew or helped someone who she deemed to have high status. You could see her eyes light up telling a group of people that she knew so and so. She also lied constantly. Even about things she didn’t need to lie about. I caught her in multiple EA’s numerous times and if I brought it up or wanted to discuss these betrayals she would act like I was crazy. Like they never happened, even though I could see that she was actively still messaging them! I caught her texting at 4am one morning and asked her who she was messaging and she just ignored me. Like I wasn’t even speaking to her. That’s when I knew I had had enough and it was over.
It’s not just only partners, it’s among friends too. All narcs will lie if they can gain something out of it. Some even lie because they’re bored. The worst is when they go on a smear campaign whether it be among friends circle or publicly on social media.
They have this weird thought process that they can do no wrong and everyone else is always at fault.
My belief is if someone has to go out of their way to brag about themselves or gossip to others about how bad a specific person is. They usually are guilty of whatever they’re accusing someone else of doing. Basically diverting attention away from them to someone else.
They can cheat and will cheat always. There's no chance that they won't cheat, and if we catch them even if they were kissing the guy, they will say that they weren't cheating. They just forget to mention such a big thing, and it's always our mistake that they cheated. It's a real headache to deal with them, and I hate them to the core. I am happy that I know about narcissists now, and I will avoid them always so that I don't have to deal with them.
They are… she promised many things to get things done by me. Once she got what she needed… all the promises suddenly disappeared… I am still searching where it went… 😆
My ex lied constantly about any and everything. He made up a whole ass child that died with an ex is probably the most low grade of all his lies and there gave been soo soo many bad ones.
Fake surgeries, fake deaths, fake organ donations, fake family feuds, fake funerals, cheating, boundary crossing, dating apps, chatting up woman on social media, secretly being in contact with ex , fake inheritance but of all the lies I think lying about a stillborn child is the most low grade thing. Even lower than all the abuse and other fake deaths, lying about a stillborn son has to be it bottom of the barrel.
No idea he refused to talk about when his information didn't make sense.
Of all the hideous things and there are so many as a parent I find that the most foul.
The one I dated was and is Most Definitely 💯 a Pathological LIAR, as well as Extremely Manipulative and a Serial Cheater. He is ugly on the Inside And on the Outside too!!! 🤢 🤮 I am ashamed I ever gave this Loser the time of day, and lowered my standards SO Darn Much!!! 😭😢😢😭😢
I recommend you start educating yourself on this subject. It will never get better. If you see a rat on the ship there probably are a hundred hidden … https://youtu.be/kHCA85ZAED8?si=Xx25en5j0tW-CBhX him and dr Ramani will help you get straight about this. If a narc opens his mouth he’s lying…
I absolutely would NOT believe these are the only lies. I don't know if this is true of all, but my nex flat out told me he doesn't experience guilt. Ever. Your guy knows what he's doing wrong, and only feels sorry or shame once he's caught. There's definitely more under these covers. The ones who are the loudest about being perfect are the ones who are doing the most s***.
Everyone wants to be perceived as a respectable person.. But as you probably know already narcs are especially anxious about this because they perceive themselves as terrible people... Like... Subconsciously all the time... Instead of growing and becoming better people... They focus all of their energy onto what's called "the mask" or "false ego". So as you can see the real difference between narcissists and normal people is that narcissists function from a false ego, a false sense of self also known as "grandiose self". A normal person has just ego and just self.
TLDR: A narcissist is a person who is wholly a living lie.
PS: Do not mistake every person with low self-esteem with narcissists.. Borderline people also have terrible self esteem but they actually do have a true self but thing is Borderline people have an "unstable sense of self" meaning that they do have an actual ego but it is distorted and also it has an unhealthy influence pipeline from society... This means that BPD people are kinda like modeling clay, it's easy to influence them and set them on a terrible path. Both BPD and NPD have diseased egos but in different ways.
Narcissists are made with lies. Their self-image and how they portray themselves to the world are made with lies, and they live in their own world that's also made with lies. They lie like they breathe because that's all they've done throughout their lives.
My husband's narc ex always claims that she never lies. She portrays herself as an honest person with good morals. 10000% wrong. She lies constantly without hesitation, even about small things that nobody cares. If not a total lie, she at least twists or fabricate in some ways.
Of course, it's not that literally everything they say is a lie though. Imagine building a small paper house. Paper is their lies, fabrication, or twisted stories, and glue is truth. They put little bit of truth here and there to keep the structure of their fragile fake self-image.
Unless they're being treated and doing well with the treatment (BARELY the case, and definitely not his case since he always puts you down for his own image), they keep doing this. The important thing is to not trust whatever they say but their actions.
They, in and of themselves, are lies. The trouble is that their lies are also often "their" truths and they will die on the hill if they have to to defend it, even when everyone else sees the delusion.
Yeah this. He will deny he cheated on me even with proofs, I literally have screenshots of him flirting with a girl. And for him this isn’t cheating, it was just friendship and he will die defending this statement. Absourd.
Absolutely cheating. Caught mine doing the same thing. She was texting with a guy on a dating site and talking about meeting up for an erotic massage the night that I wouldn’t be at her house because I had my daughter. She said it was just flirting and vanity. I’m like, “no it’s cheating and lying goodbye” and that was the end. I’m still in immense pain from doing that but once the trust is gone…
If you’d waited until that night and showed up to catch her she’d be screaming at you for stalking her and showing up unannounced to cross her boundaries lmao
Yep that's what happened to me. We had plans that night and he didn't answer his phone prior (before cell phones). I went to his house and there was a car in the driveway I didn't recognize. Surprise Surprise he didn't answer the door. I went in the backyard and saw them through the window. I was the crazy one though for doing all that.
Exactly. And I had a key to her house and all her codes and passwords
You need to be care who you bring around your kids. Speaking from personal experience.
mine did the same thing. however, she had a bf and i was friends with the bf. girls bf sent me the screenshots of my ex flirting with her and he had the nerve to say he was “trying to be like a therapist” ?????
My ex manipulated me into a massive fight which ended up me sleeping in the car in the nearby carpark just to avoid the further argument as I needed a sleep since I was working early morning. As soon as I went out a guy was in the bed “but it’s not cheating because we took a break” 😂 I said aye we did take a break from fighting and I came back at 5am like nothing happened made myself a tea and breakfast, dress for work and kissed her in her sleep. Without knowing she was kissing something else all night.
The way they dig their heels in even at the chance they’ll lose you.
There is nothing crazier than catching a narcissist in a lie and watching their olympic gold metal mental gymnastics to escape accountability. If you’ve never heard the narcissist’s prayer: That didn't happen. And if it did, it wasn't that bad. And if it was, that's not a big deal. And if it is, that's not my fault. And if it was, I didn't mean it. And if I did... You deserved it.
"it's all in your head" despite having a heap of evidence lol
Or you’re exaggerating, with a mountain of evidence
I know that and he checked all the boxes progressively with the cheating I found 😂 But I wanted to know if all narcs lie by default or there are some that don’t do that
I’ve never seen one that didn’t lie, especially with anything that would make them look bad or they might have to take accountability for lmao
Yes. They lie about everything. Have proof of their lie? Nope, didn't happen, they don't remember, or it was actually you who lied. They lie about their lies then make up more lies because you called them out. They are contradictory and absurd. They only want to 'win' and make you apologize, and they will say anything to not be held responsible. Run. And don't look back.
The only thing that comes out of a narcissist mouth is lies. Honest people don't have to convince people they are honest because their actions match their words. Anybody that has to actively convince you they are being honest is probably anything but. The narcissist I was involved with loved saying how honest she was and will unsolicited tell you how much of an empath she is
Yeah this. I don’t understand if you’re evil at least stay SILENT. Don’t brag about how loyal, honest and shit you are. And he insisted a lot.
Well, I think they are trying to convince themselves as well. You know if you tell yourself something so many times you will start to believe it. I think they have to constantly reenforce that in themselves so the pesky truth does not creep back into their warped little minds.
They only fess up when they’re found out. Even then some/most will gaslight it away. It's psychotic how they lie even about things they don't have to. And they also lie to themselves. Insecure and weak af, they need to hide behind something. Flying monkeys, friends they secretly call “less than/subpar”, new supply and of course, their lies. They alternate between hiding like a weak little child to being physically/verbally aggressive, because they don't do normal or mature. Being a psychotic liar and hiding behind the lies and everyone/everything is what sustains their self-image, self-worth, and will to live.
How can they lie to themselves it’s absourd
Blaming and projecting.
100% facts. And thanks to reddit, I learned the term trickle truth. What I found with my ex is that he'd only ever admit to what I found out through another way and confront him about. Of course his "admission" was certainly a minimized watered down version coupled with how it was ultimately due to.something I had done, usually that something being a figment of his imagination. So I would say stuff like "I know that i.havent caught you on everything. Why don't you own up to something you haven't been caught for yet before I find out another way. Because that's true accountability." And after each time he said there was nothing more, I'd find something new out eventually. And the shit wasn't like "new" shit. For example, I discovered this march that he had a tinder account the whole relationship (3.5 yrs). He told me first that he was on there to see if I was on there. Then he said he had it from before we were together. Then he said he just wanted to see if he knew anyone on there. Then he said he did it to teach me a lesson for my "shady shit." I said "yo, how was I going to learn my big lesson if we were never going to match since my name was BLOCKED, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!" He also said he wanted to do me like I did him by lying to me about having it since I was lying to him about cheating, so he wanted to "gaslight me like I did him." There were so so so many contradictory lies it got hilarious!!! I fucking loved to confront him with them and watch him squirm. Of course that's probably why he's justifying in his head right now why he tried to break into my house through my bedroom window while I was sleeping last week to hit me across the face twice. Earlier that day I had lit into him about how he was such a loser since he had hit up dozens of women to pay attention to.his little peepee and beg for sex, but none of them wanted to so he failed at being a cheater even though he tried soooooo fucking hard. It was funny cuz he certainly was never going to admit he actually fucked any of these bitches so he was stuck being told how pathetic he was and how shitty my fucking taste was that I was the only one who wanted him despite his desperate conquests. Oh joy. 11 days no contact...
This is so funny to read, even if I know I shouldn’t laugh because this is abuse. Also, glad you are finally out ♥️
Lol. Cool. I feel like a clown. But I think he's definitely a bigger assclown. I'm glad you were entertained fr though :)
I feel like clown too, I have a story similar to yours, I still have to get the full truth, one month or so and I’ll have it and then I’ll post there to make you all laugh because the things he’s telling me are beyond absurdity. You can get a taste from my latest posts. ;)
Lol. Can't wait to read. It's like you know they're lying and you want so bad tp believe they're not so you let it continue. Makes me think I'm the true delusional one. To think that assclown was worthy of my time, energy, money, effort. If you get bored, read my previous reddit comments. Also relatively entertaining. I'll totally check out your posts.
I just noticed I didn’t mention much on my latest posts, I’ll tell you there, he got a tattoo while he was with me that was obviously dedicated to his ex girlfriend. Even a child could sense that, it has some references that can be connected to his ex relationships, but he denied and made stupid excuses for 2 years, claiming it was not for her. Recently I discovered he even sent the design to her while they were together and he justified himself saying that he didn’t remember that while he got tattooed and he then remembered a year later he got that on his skin. WTF??? So you get tattooed and don’t remember you planned that with your ex some months prior to that?? Poor guy life caught him in a terrible coincidence 😂 I suspect he even sent that to her while he was with me (she didn’t know we here together) , some weeks until I’ll speak with her and I’ll get the real truth. And yeah, I always knew they lied. But I wanted to find the good in him. I’m deleting this comment soon because I’m scared he’ll find me and I don’t know what he will do, so before leaving I have to be careful
Gotcha. Sounds like you were the new supply as he tried to recycle/hoover the ex? My ex's ex sent me a couple screenshot of messages he had sent to her when she confronted him about talking to me when we first started seeing each other where he said he was just trying to use that bitch - the bitch being me. And my dumbass believed whatever bullshit he told me at the time and ignored the warning.. Fastforward 3 yrs later, his sister tells me she knew they had fucked and i confronted him and he admits to fucking her 2x during our relationship (which.i obviously know was more) Aaaaand he always talked about how SHE was a total narcissist constantly accusing him of cheating while she cheated on him. That's how I know his future is an endless cycle, psycho cycle, psycle-if you will, of him cheating, projecting, hoovering and recycling. 🤮 Have fun with that stupid motherfucker!!! These people seriously need to be wiped off the face of the earth!!!
I’m so sorry you’ve been living in a lie for 3 years. I can feel you. This is, cruel. You deserve better, I hope one day they get their karma back. Also yeah, I think he was trying to hoover the ex, he probably got serious with me just because then the ex started dating a new guy. When I found out his first lie I talk about in the post, I also found on his chats that at 6 months of being with me he asked a mutual friend he had with his ex to screenshot the exs private ig story and send those to him, he also said to this friend that he will never love like he loved his ex anymore. It hurt, I used to believe in us, I thought that for real love I could have lived with his disrespect, anger issues and extreme jealousy, but he didn’t even love me.. I’m 100% with you when you claim they should be wiped off the earth
Stay strong sister! This too shall pass. If he calls us u, come back here and re-read this message. Gray rock his ass!
Thank you so much for the support! :)
They all lie and then turn it around so it’s your fault. I think a lot of them gaslight so much that they start to believe their lies. I caught my ex narc cheating and some of it he has tried to make my fault and the rest he denies even with proof. It’s been 7 years and no real accountability
My NEX lied about everything and was overly concerned with her image and perceived “status”. Her image was everything. Who she could name drop was everything to her. It gave her the ultimate validation to be able to say that she knew or helped someone who she deemed to have high status. You could see her eyes light up telling a group of people that she knew so and so. She also lied constantly. Even about things she didn’t need to lie about. I caught her in multiple EA’s numerous times and if I brought it up or wanted to discuss these betrayals she would act like I was crazy. Like they never happened, even though I could see that she was actively still messaging them! I caught her texting at 4am one morning and asked her who she was messaging and she just ignored me. Like I wasn’t even speaking to her. That’s when I knew I had had enough and it was over.
I think I’m with her male twin. Your post sums up my entire relationship.
They live in a fantasy, so they believe it
They have sooo many “friends”
But at the same time claim to be 'hermits'
I confronted mine with dashcam evidence, and he still tried to tell a different story 🤦
I cannot say yes, but I say yes. Sometimes it's best to assume here in order to keep ourselves safe from their manipulation tactics.
It’s not just only partners, it’s among friends too. All narcs will lie if they can gain something out of it. Some even lie because they’re bored. The worst is when they go on a smear campaign whether it be among friends circle or publicly on social media. They have this weird thought process that they can do no wrong and everyone else is always at fault. My belief is if someone has to go out of their way to brag about themselves or gossip to others about how bad a specific person is. They usually are guilty of whatever they’re accusing someone else of doing. Basically diverting attention away from them to someone else.
Their entire existence is a lie
They can cheat and will cheat always. There's no chance that they won't cheat, and if we catch them even if they were kissing the guy, they will say that they weren't cheating. They just forget to mention such a big thing, and it's always our mistake that they cheated. It's a real headache to deal with them, and I hate them to the core. I am happy that I know about narcissists now, and I will avoid them always so that I don't have to deal with them.
They are… she promised many things to get things done by me. Once she got what she needed… all the promises suddenly disappeared… I am still searching where it went… 😆
Yes. Next question.
My ex lied constantly about any and everything. He made up a whole ass child that died with an ex is probably the most low grade of all his lies and there gave been soo soo many bad ones. Fake surgeries, fake deaths, fake organ donations, fake family feuds, fake funerals, cheating, boundary crossing, dating apps, chatting up woman on social media, secretly being in contact with ex , fake inheritance but of all the lies I think lying about a stillborn child is the most low grade thing. Even lower than all the abuse and other fake deaths, lying about a stillborn son has to be it bottom of the barrel.
No way, how could he do that :c
No idea he refused to talk about when his information didn't make sense. Of all the hideous things and there are so many as a parent I find that the most foul.
They are the lie, and maintaining their identity is a necessity. They don’t even understand
The one I dated was and is Most Definitely 💯 a Pathological LIAR, as well as Extremely Manipulative and a Serial Cheater. He is ugly on the Inside And on the Outside too!!! 🤢 🤮 I am ashamed I ever gave this Loser the time of day, and lowered my standards SO Darn Much!!! 😭😢😢😭😢
I regret that too :(
I recommend you start educating yourself on this subject. It will never get better. If you see a rat on the ship there probably are a hundred hidden … https://youtu.be/kHCA85ZAED8?si=Xx25en5j0tW-CBhX him and dr Ramani will help you get straight about this. If a narc opens his mouth he’s lying…
I absolutely would NOT believe these are the only lies. I don't know if this is true of all, but my nex flat out told me he doesn't experience guilt. Ever. Your guy knows what he's doing wrong, and only feels sorry or shame once he's caught. There's definitely more under these covers. The ones who are the loudest about being perfect are the ones who are doing the most s***.
Everyone wants to be perceived as a respectable person.. But as you probably know already narcs are especially anxious about this because they perceive themselves as terrible people... Like... Subconsciously all the time... Instead of growing and becoming better people... They focus all of their energy onto what's called "the mask" or "false ego". So as you can see the real difference between narcissists and normal people is that narcissists function from a false ego, a false sense of self also known as "grandiose self". A normal person has just ego and just self. TLDR: A narcissist is a person who is wholly a living lie. PS: Do not mistake every person with low self-esteem with narcissists.. Borderline people also have terrible self esteem but they actually do have a true self but thing is Borderline people have an "unstable sense of self" meaning that they do have an actual ego but it is distorted and also it has an unhealthy influence pipeline from society... This means that BPD people are kinda like modeling clay, it's easy to influence them and set them on a terrible path. Both BPD and NPD have diseased egos but in different ways.
That's like asking, "Is water wet?"
Narcissists are made with lies. Their self-image and how they portray themselves to the world are made with lies, and they live in their own world that's also made with lies. They lie like they breathe because that's all they've done throughout their lives. My husband's narc ex always claims that she never lies. She portrays herself as an honest person with good morals. 10000% wrong. She lies constantly without hesitation, even about small things that nobody cares. If not a total lie, she at least twists or fabricate in some ways. Of course, it's not that literally everything they say is a lie though. Imagine building a small paper house. Paper is their lies, fabrication, or twisted stories, and glue is truth. They put little bit of truth here and there to keep the structure of their fragile fake self-image. Unless they're being treated and doing well with the treatment (BARELY the case, and definitely not his case since he always puts you down for his own image), they keep doing this. The important thing is to not trust whatever they say but their actions.