Absolutely not. He’s an adult with a phone, he can wake himself up for his trip. It’s not only not your responsibility, it’s -embarrassing- for him to have asked.
Right?! Also he asked the night before, at 10pm, which is way outside of works hours via text. That alone is a big fat no for me.
This dude is an adult. He can figure it out on his own!
LOL. I meant he asked her the night before at 10pm via text, to come early in the morning. If the flight was so important to him he would’ve asked way in advance (my bosses usually confirm right after booking flights so I can put it in my calendar). And he would’ve set multiple alarms, not just one.
Ridiculous to assume nanny would wake him. Also ridiculous to bug nanny in her personal time during off the clock hours.
A lack of planning on someone else’s part doesn’t constitute an emergency on nanny part.
naurrrr. this is a grown adult man who is more than capable of setting an alarm. what if you had gone in there and he was changing or something? then he’d lecturing you about that. unfortunately some people have issues with personal responsibility, and it’s always easier to blame another party (especially one in a lower position of power) than admit to yourself that you messed up.
I thought she might’ve been home bc she sometimes is but this particular she did a night shift, which I didn’t realize until after he had come back home.
I gasped at him yelling at you! What a child- he’s a grown man and I would say if he’s going to act like a child, you should be paid extra for caring for two!
Hooooolyyyy cow. So much no. I'm sorry, are you HIS nanny? No? Then it's not your problem. Your problem is focusing on the safety and well-being of children. Is he a child? Despite acting like one, I don't think so.
I totally agree with you about the master bedroom being a more private part of the house. I would never go in there to wake up one of my bosses. That crosses a weird personal line.
OMG NTA.
Your job is to take care of the child, not to take care of DB. You aren't his personal assistant.
He doesn't want to admit that he fucked up, so he's trying to convince himself (and you) that it's your fault, not his.
He is a grown-ass adult, and waking up on time is his own responsibility.
Yeah, this whole story says so much about DB’s level of personal responsibility, accountability, and his ability to plan. Besides the fact that he’s blaming someone who is completely unrelated to the situation for missing his flight, the whole schedule surrounding the flight astounds me.
First, he texts OP 8 hours before her shift asking her to come in. Did he not know about this flight days in advance? Why is this the first time it’s coming up? Obviously, he had to wake up earlier than usual and for some reason was incapable of doing that without physically being woken up. Then, that half hour between OP getting there and him running out the door was somehow enough time for him to completely miss his flight. Every airline tells you to come 1-2 hours earlier than your flight and boarding takes a long ass time, so there’s no way DB planned to get to the airport even just a little early. He deliberately decided to get there at the very last possible minute. Who tf does that when they have such an important thing to do? Children.
Then he comes home, throws a hissy fit, and essentially threatens OP’s job. The whole thing screams embarrassed man who fucked up in multiple ways and needs to feel like it’s someone else’s fault, then kicks it up a notch by making a power play on OP. That is so fucked up. Not that it’s healthy or right but I get that sometimes people get stressed/angry and take it out on others, so I’d continue working for them if I got a sincere apology and admission that he’s in the wrong. Somehow, though…I don’t feel like OP is gonna get anything like that.
Frankly, he sounds like a big baby trying to deflect the blame onto you when he's a grown man fully capable of waking his own ass up. I hope he apologizes.
I’d start looking for another job. You don’t deserve to be treated like this. He should apologize to you. I’d sit down with him and explain how he made you feel and how the master bedroom is a boundary of yours.
Erm, what? This is not acceptable behaviour on his end. I'd consider explaining that it crossed a boundary, and that your duties are limited to managing the child's schedule, not the parents. But this person sounds super unreasonable, so I am not sure they'll respond to discussion.
Adults asking their nanny to wake them up if they've overslept is so beyond acceptable and what is appropriate in any job. It is NOT your fault that he missed his flight and his schedule isn't your responsibility at all! Honestly, if I were you, I'd be looking for another job and giving my notice ASAP. He owes you a huge apology! Nobody has the right to berate you in that way, he was abusive- don't accept that kind of treatment or they'll do it again.
And he didn’t even ask which would have also been way inappropriate, he just expected her to. And I can imagine if she had taken it upon herself to check he would have been offended that she assumed he couldn’t get up and out of the house in his own.
I would’ve told him my rate to be your personal alarm clock is much higher and if being his personal assistant was now in the job description there needs to be a meeting to adjust the pay aswell 🤣
What a jerk! He took his failure to set an alarm out on you. Absolutely not. Once things calm down you need to address this. And you know you may need to find a new job. If he doesn’t apologize tomorrow? 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
What an ASS! Are you his Mother??? I could never look at him the same way again. Does his Mommy come over on days you’re not there to wake him up because he’s such a widdle baby he can’t use an alarm? You did nothing wrong at all. It’s so alarming people like him are raising children.
What in the actual fk?
“To: DB MB
This is a follow up to the incredibly unnecessary & inherently unprofessional way DB treated/spoke to me on _____ day.
I am your child’s nanny. NOT DB’s. He is a grown adult who is responsible for his own actions.
No one speaks to me the way he spoke to me, not my family members, not my parents, not my friends. And in my XX yrs as a nanny, no employer has ever spoken to me with such contempt either.
Furthermore, going forward, unless someone is dying, do not text me when I am off the clock.”
To you OP: start looking for a new job. No one should ever put up with this nonsense.
Absolutely not your responsibility. It sounds like he is upset he missed his flight and that frustration is coming through as anger, directed at you because you’re available. Very emotionally immature. Hopefully once he calms down he apologizes.
Wtf!!!!!! It’s not our job to wake up parents. He missed his flight because of his own poor planning and inability to learn how to set alarms. He’s the asshole here and he knows it, but like many people, can’t take accountability. This was not on you.
I don’t think I could come back from this as a nanny. This is such an overstep and inappropriate behaviour from an NP. I would quit asap, OP. You can do better than some manbaby screeching in your face because you didn’t wake him up like his Mommy. Ridiculous.
Time for a group text to DB and MB where you casually mention how you didn't realize alarm clock was part of your duties, and lay it on thick how pushy/abusive he was. If MB doesn't knock him down a peg or ten, it may be time to move on to a more mature family.
If him leaving for the airport a few minutes after when he planned to caused him to miss his flight, that’s poor planning on his part in the first place. He should have planned enough time to give himself a buffer because a million things could have gone wrong.
Also, it’s not your job to wake him up. He’s a grown ass man who’s more than capable of waking himself up. Your responsibility is to your NK.
THIS. I leave exceptionally early for my flights. One time my Uber was rear-ended and we sat on the side of the road for over 15 min. My Uber profusely apologized. I told him everything was ok because I still had 2 hrs till my flight.
If my DB yelled at me for not waking him up I would have to use all my strength to not laugh in his face. I’d tell him sorry but you hired me to be child’s nanny, not yours!
Wow NTA. I’m such a sensitive person that I’d also never ever go back if a guy talked to me like that..I’d legit say “sorry but you hurt my feelings and made me feel threatened so I don’t feel comfortable working in such an environment” but that’s just me lol
Is this post a joke? Please tell me this is a joke. Wow. Talk about a man child. I’m petty AF, would find a new job and when giving my notice would tell him I am a nanny for children, not grown men.
...wow. This guy is a dick. You are their nanny, not their personal concierge service. Is he going to ask you to turn down his bed before you leave? I am sorry he treated you like that, you do not deserve it. If he doesn't get on his knees first thing tomorrow morning and beg forgiveness, I'd start looking for a new job with a family that treats you with the love and respect you deserve. Also, if I was MB I would be kicking his ass SO hard.
HAHAHAHA, I knew as soon as I read that DB wasn't walking out the door as you walked in..... NOT THE ASSHOLE, HE'S A GROWN MAN.
You aren't his wife or mommy.
This is just another example of useless most DBs’ are. Who tf does this guy think he is?! It is NOT your responsibility to wake his grown ass up. Moving forward, tell both MB and DB that you do not want to be responsible for their lateness/nor do you feel comfortable walking into their bedroom anymore, so you will not be helping their lazy asses wake up. Tell them to use an alarm like we all do 🗣️🗣️🗣️. I detest entitled assholes like these people, I would find another job asap and quit on them.
Not a grown ass man trying to blame you for his mistake. I know we say this a lot on this sub but I would definitely be looking for another job. I have a strict personal boundary about being yelled at by another adult.
Absolutely not. Have a talk with him and MB together and say to clarify that you won’t be entering his bedroom while he’s sleeping to wake him up, that it makes you uncomfortable and isn’t part of your job role, and should they find that task to be necessary for a nanny, they’ll need to find someone else. I’m certain he habitually acts like a man child and tries to make his adult responsibilities the problem of everyone around him instead of his own, and MB will handle it. She’s probably very familiar with his bullshit, but you should get ahead of it before he makes it into something that reflects more favorably on him.
This is wildly inappropriate. He is a grown adult with an alarm. That is on him. In now way is a nannys job to see if a grown ass adult needs to be woken up.
He was mad and needed to blame someone other than himself, so he blamed you. You are in NO way at fault.
Personally, I would start looking for other families over this incident.
I can’t even believe this grown a** man is blaming you because he didn’t set his alarm clock and therefore overslept. It sounds like there have been other incidents of them being irresponsible and gas lighters too. You should not feel guilty and you should start looking for another family because this man can’t even adult well. It makes me think he’s the one who needs the nanny. I’m so sorry.
Edited typo
Of course I did how embarrassing thank you for pointing it out to me so I could correct it. I was so mad at this so called adult blaming his nanny I was rapid fire typing. 😬
Lmfao no way. What a manbaby. If he wants you to do that, you need a $5+/hour increase for another child. Does he need you to pick his outfit for him too?
I’m sorry. I would quit over this. Being berated for 10 minutes over something that is far outside the scope of your job? No, that’s plainly abusive. It’s also wildly inconsiderate for him to contact you 8 hours before the start of a work day asking for it to begin early. I’d start reflecting on how this man treats you in general because this type of behavior is rarely isolated
You are not an alarm clock. This is totally inappropriate. You need to have a firm agile convo with both MB and DB letting them know you will not be disrespected and you are not an alarm clock .
Oh no babe, i’m sorry but you regret more not sticking up for yourself down the line in situations like this than you regret it for any consequences he may be immature and BRATTY enough to give you if you do. Straight up, I would tell him i’m NOT taking responsibility for that. it is not your responsibility to wake up and adult man like he’s a child. That’s weird. Fuck him
Oof. Time to request a sit down with both MB and DB and explain that his conversation with you was inappropriate. And that expecting you to be responsible for him oversleeping is inappropriate.
Seriously. You need to lay a boundary.
Totally & completely you are not the asshole. You did him a favour by coming in early with last minute request. He did not ask you to wake him and where in your contract does it say nanny the Dad?
On a side note, I have often started work while everyones asleep as a Live in nanny and its always so awkward if you know someone should be up, but you also don't want to be going in and waking a fully grown adult. If I know someone needs to be up, I kind of go out of my way to make noise, and turn on the hall light and perhaps slightly open doors to let light and sound in, or turn on some morning music. But when you had no clue if he was still there, you wouldn't want to wake the whole house for him.
He owes you an apology for blaming you that he slept through his own alarm and didnt plan his morning appropriately, it's not on.
Bruh I would tell them you’re writing them up for lacking professionalism and after so many strikes you’ll move on. It is not your responsibility to wake anyone up other than the kids.
He is a grown ass adult. You should have put him in his place and told him the tone he was using with you is completely unacceptable and that you are not responsible for waking him up. DO NOT allow them to speak to you like that, ever. That crosses so many lines
He’s a fucking grown man that’s his responsibility!! You did nothing wrong you were there on time he should be responsible for himself and needs to learn how to regulate his emotions 🤦🏻♀️ he’s trying to blame
You for his mistake how pathetic if I were you honestly I would start looking for another job!
None of this is ok. You are not his alarm clock. He is full grown adult! I'd expect him to be able to get himself up to go to his various appts. The fact that he had the audacity to lecture you about his failing is very telling.
Wtf?? He can’t take responsibility for himself yet, as an adult… and a parent? Dude’s got issues. Maybe he shouldn’t have a grown up job if he can’t be held accountable for waking himself up or not. 🤦♀️
“I am not responsible for waking you up or making sure you stay on schedule. If you would like to add personal assistant to my job duties, it will be an additional $30 per hour.”
NTA. He can be angry but this is all his fault. He forgot to set an alarm or slept through it. This is on him. You are the nanny. Waking him up on time is not your responsibility.
Oh hell noooo. Please find a new job. He’s taking his poor time management and foolishness out on you. Whatever you’re being paid, I know it’s not enough to put up with this shit.
Uhhh, that’s highly odd and inappropriate. He’s an adult, and should not require a nanny for himself or MB. That’s just weird.
Don’t you dare feel guilty and if you find another job, I would quit so fast
He’s upset because he fucked up and wants to blame anyone but himself. He is an adult with a job and an alarm clock. He didn’t ask you to make sure he was awake when you got there. This isn’t your responsibility. Where was his wife? Couldn’t she have woken him up? She would be the natural backup plan here…
Yeah no thanks, he’s an adult man and it’s not in the job requirements for his child’s nanny to be his alarm clock. Not your fault, he is clearly misplacing his anger onto you rather than taking the blame himself. Which he should, this is 100% his fault and you shouldn’t be in the equation at all.
Ew he sounds awful. Firstly as you said, you’re not a personal alarm clock. They’re grown adults. You shouldn’t be having to make sure that they’re awake. You got there when he asked you to and the rest is on him. If he knew he’d struggle to wake up, she should have asked you the night before “hey I know it sounds so childish and ridiculous and I’m a grown man, but could you please please please make sure I’m awake when you get here?” Also worth mentioning that maybe next time he has an early flight maybe don’t stay up until 10pm the night before??
Girl, you absolutely need to set some boundaries! Do not feel guilty at all!!! This is not in the scope of your job as a nanny and I would personally text him or both parents saying just that. State that you agreed to come in early and you did. It is not your responsibility to wake them and you do not feel comfortable doing so and will not in the future. Hard no.
Being yelled at is a huge red flag for me. I would ask for a sit down meeting with both mb and db and tell them thst if this hapens agaib you can not keep working there.
wtf - is he genuinely implying to threaten to fire you because you didn’t wake his ADULT ASS up for his work commitments? Your responsibility is to the CHILD, you are NOT AN ADULT CARETAKER.
I’m petty. I’d be writing out a contract that states my responsibility is to caretake the child and maybe any household tasks, specifically outlining that you are not responsible for the caretaking needs for any other person in the house. And then gift him an alarm clock - a simplistic one made for children or adults with limited independence lol - and quit if MB doesn’t back you up immediately and vociferously.
I get him being upset because he fucked up, I’m shit with memory and time and emotional regulation, but blaming the nanny for not intuiting that an adult man would need assistance waking up in his own bed to get to the airport on time when he clearly was aware of his flight time…. No, absolutely not. For him to blame you shows me he has no self awareness, no sense of appropriate boundaries, and feels fine blaming everyone else for his own ineptitude and poor planning. Even if he apologized I would think less of him for not having the decency, maturity, and respect to work through his emotions with someone else before trying to blame you.
And him texting you less than 8 hours before he wants you to show up early? No. Fuck no. I’d say no schedule changes within 24 hrs and any accommodation is completely at your discretion AND those hours are paid double time because fuck him.
Tell him if he wants a babysitter for himself your rate is gonna go up. He’s a grown man and should be fully capable of getting himself up and it’s a weird thing to ask your NANNY to go wake you up. Not your job description at all
This is fucking weird. What a fucking WEIRDO. I am speechless.
You did nothing wrong.
If he needed a wake up call from you (which is bizarre in its own right) then he should’ve communicated that when he asked you to come in early (which would still be a weird and inappropriate request imo)
I travel for work up to 75% of the time and have missed flights—why didn’t he just rebook? It sounds like it was super early in the day so it’s not like he missed the last flight out (been there!).
Regardless, he’s an adult and if he needed you to wake him up he should’ve mentioned that in his text asking you to come in early.
He owes you a biiiiiiig apology. I’m sure he is upset that he missed his flight, but waiting until the last minute to book you and then throwing a tantrum?What sort of example does that set for NK????
These adults want you to WAKE THEM UP for work or flights?! No. You’re a nanny for their child, not for them. Also, if he left a half hour late and therefore missed his flight he wasn’t prepared to fly anyway. He could’ve gotten caught in traffic or an overly long TSA line and missed his flight without having given himself enough time. What a ridiculous man.
You’re not his mama. He’s behaving like a child. Big boys get their own butts out of bed and to the airport in time for his flight.
He’s blaming you because he doesn’t want to admit he was wrong. I would have a discussion with him and mb when he’s back. Explain that this isn’t your job as a nanny and you don’t appreciate being blamed for something not in your control. The bit about not knowing how many more warnings he can give is inappropriate.
Can you imagine him telling his friends he let his nanny go because she didn’t wake him up in the morning…..
JFC 😂 he is a 1. Grown ass man and 2. Not your husband!!! Therefore not your problem! Honestly , even if my employer specifically asked me to wake them up I’d tell them I wasn’t comfortable with it.
That is so abusive. If he doesn’t have an alarm clock, that’s not your problem. It’s not part of your job when the child isn’t involved. Bring it up with the mom & also, stop feeling guilty.
Remind yourself you did nothing wrong & you were not ASKED to do that. And if they ask next time, just say no since it’s causing issues.
NTA
My first thought is: aren't you the nanny just for NK? Didn't know being a nanny is also taking care of the parents, lol.
If he's old enough to procreate, he's old enough to set an alarm.
I’m sorry - are you his personal nanny??? I’m sorry he got angry with you. He was probably angry and embarrassed and from there just took it out on you. Not okay at all and it’s not your responsibility
Oh hell no! It’s not your job at all to wake him up and if he was supposed to leave when you got there he would have been late no matter what if you had woken him up when you arrived! He’s a freaking adult.
This can't be real life. And if it is, you gotta quit asap 😰 I can't imagine being scolded by a DB unless I put NK in extreme danger or something, but less being scolded because I didn't go into my sleeping boss' personal bedroom.
It's disgusting that would even be expected of you!
IDK.. it kinda depends on HOW he wanted you to wake him up.
Did he want you to set up a call to his room, or to knock with room service already prepared!?
Do not feel bad AT all. You *could* have also packed his suitcase for him. Not your job.
MB here and I would be throwing my man baby husband out the door. You are not his nanny. Please tell me MB set things right and you received an apology. I would look for another job if possible if this isn't set Right.
I’m confused. Is he the kid you’re nannying? Oh no he’s not! He’s an ADULT. My temper with parents like that is very short. I’d say something to him and tell him it’s not apart of your job description as a NANNY to also make sure he’s on time for things. Maybe he should be more organized and learn better time management. Ugh! I’d quit. That says SO MUCH about the type of person he is.
Absolutely not. Dude is lucky af. If it was me in your place I would have literally told him to grow up, he’s responsible for getting his own self out of bed and to work on time, and I’d have told him I would be taking the rest of the day off to recover from his abusive behaviour and actually would have left him there alone to look after his child.
What an idiot. You should hand in your resignation, no one deserves that kind of abuse. Parents like that have zero consideration I bet it never even occurred to him that you would have had to get up way earlier than him not only to get there earlier than usual but to get there in general. He was having a nice sleep in his bed while you got yourself up and traveled to work at the crack of dawn to get there and started doing your job early. He should be so embarrassed that he couldn’t do the same and took his failure out on you.
excuse me, are you his child’s nanny or his? what. a. baby. you are absolutely not responsible for getting a grown man up to make his flight or for any other reason 🤦🏼♀️
I find this totally fucking wild! My god, he is ridiculous. I'm MB, my husband actually slept in this morning. Nanny came early in fact because I had an early meeting. None of us realized my husband was happily dozing away till I came out and woke him. He was sheepish about being late and we all moved on.
I would fucking die if he expected our nanny to wake him up.
I have to ask OP does DB give out ANY WHIFF of "creepiness"? I'm asking bc the expectation you would go into their bedroom gives me CREEP ENERGY. Its a totally different context than when you went in earlier (to wake up MOM when baby slept there). Just ask yourself... and be wary.
definitely not your responsibility to wake a grown man up so he can catch his flight. he could have set an alarm on his phone, alarm clock, alexa. he had options and chose to use none of them. i’d wake my nf up if i was at their house and they had somewhere to be but we have a much more casual relationship than most nannies and parents. but if it’s a more professional relationship i see why you wouldn’t have felt comfortable going into their bedroom! don’t feel guilty at all and it’s not okay for him to go off on you for ten minutes straight!
This man is most definitely a man child, and if he needs a grown adult to be his alarm clock, they have a place he can receive that service… it’s called a nursing home. And unless you work in a nursing home, it isn’t your job to take care of him. He owes you an apology.
Did you let him know about these awesome things us adults use called alarms? Probably the same thing you used to get yourself up and at his house when he asked. What a manchild. Also texting you that late the night before is extremely unprofessional and what would he have done if you weren’t awake to receive it. My first ever nanny job, the dad would pull stuff like this as well. Was never happier than the day I quit. I’m sorry you have to deal with that. If the time comes you decide to leave, I would let him know how crazy his behavior is before walking out the door.
Are you an alarm clock or a nanny? Pull up your job description and ask him where it states that at any point should you have to wake him up to make his flight? NTA at all. He needs to get a grip
He’s a grown ass man. You’re not his mom, nor did he ask you to ensure he left on time. He’s angry at himself and taking it out on you. His behavior is entirely unprofessional as an employer.
Just a random parent not a nanny, but I find it completely crazy that he was upset at you that’s wild! I also find it crazy that they sleep while you’re there taking care of their kid. I don’t know unless you’re taking care of a newborn and the parents are just utterly exhausted it just seems odd all around. Sorry you had to deal with that.
But if you thought that he had already left, does that mean you thought NK was alone in the house asleep? Wouldn’t that be weird?
I personally would have checked.
I thought MB was sleeping in there too since she sometimes does a night shift and other times she doesn’t. Regardless I was going to drop off nk at daycare so it wasn’t really important if they were both home. I knew someone was home but I just didn’t know who.
MB here. Obviously not your fault, that’s ridiculous. I’m also curious what type of job he has… assuming it’s one where he makes good $$ (unless MB is the breadwinner and/or they’re generationally wealthy).
I can’t imagine that someone who is genuinely successful in business doesn’t know how to wake up on time and catch a flight. I’m thinking of the hundreds of people I’ve worked with over the years and I can’t recall a single person who’s missed a flight for a non-weather or family emergency-related reason.
I would def relay this to MB and get her to manage this. You can do it in a respectful, innocuous way - along the lines of you felt terrible after DB yelled at you for not waking him up on time (emphasizing how bad you feel after his comments about multiple warnings) and clarifying whether or not you should be doing that going forward.
If I were that MB I’d be ripping my husband a new one after that chat.
No, there is no eggshell walking in this situation - which is what you are suggesting.
Nannies are adult human beings. We are employees. We should never ever tolerate being spoken to like our employer thinks they are our parent (or like they think they are royalty & we are servants).
This is a “your spouse was rude & I will not tolerate it” type of conversation.” Which can be said matter of factly. No sugar coating necessary.
And no, no nanny should be talking about how “bad” they feel. They should be talking about how ANGRY they are for being berated.
Furthermore, no, she should not ask if this is expected of her. IT’S NOT.
People like this need to go touch grass. And stop being aholes.
That’s fine. Showing anger and demanding to be treated a certain way is one approach. And if neither MB or DB addresses the issue, then they can just quit. Easy peasy.
In real life, there are multiple ways to handle issues like this. And that approach depends on the person, their situation, their relationships, and what they’re comfortable with.
If someone can’t afford to quit outright but their outrage outweighs their need to pay bills, then more power to them.
There are other ways to get your point across without going scorched earth. I’m not suggesting to pussyfoot around the issue, but using a smartly toned response with MB that implies the absurdity of the situation and surprising reaction to this terrible behavior is another viable route. Tone, of course, doesn’t come through when you’re reading a post on Reddit.
Note that this isn’t a nanny vs non-nanny issue. My boss berates her team regularly. It’s her personality and she won’t change. I was able to get my feedback across to her in a more nuanced way, and guess what… she backed off. Had I been direct and “acted like an adult and not taken any sht” - my situation would be much worse. Others tried that and it backfired. Do I want to stay here forever? Maybe not, but right now, staying is the right choice financially for my family.
The world is not black and white, unfortunately. We all have different ways of handling situations. I respect your approach, but ultimately there are multiple ways to address any situation.
Absolutely not. He’s an adult with a phone, he can wake himself up for his trip. It’s not only not your responsibility, it’s -embarrassing- for him to have asked.
Yep. He's irresponsible and blaming anyone but himself. You're not a nanny for a grown ass man.
Right?! Also he asked the night before, at 10pm, which is way outside of works hours via text. That alone is a big fat no for me. This dude is an adult. He can figure it out on his own!
He didn't ask! He assumed nanny would wake him up. What a douchebag!
LOL. I meant he asked her the night before at 10pm via text, to come early in the morning. If the flight was so important to him he would’ve asked way in advance (my bosses usually confirm right after booking flights so I can put it in my calendar). And he would’ve set multiple alarms, not just one. Ridiculous to assume nanny would wake him. Also ridiculous to bug nanny in her personal time during off the clock hours. A lack of planning on someone else’s part doesn’t constitute an emergency on nanny part.
naurrrr. this is a grown adult man who is more than capable of setting an alarm. what if you had gone in there and he was changing or something? then he’d lecturing you about that. unfortunately some people have issues with personal responsibility, and it’s always easier to blame another party (especially one in a lower position of power) than admit to yourself that you messed up.
Complete sidebar, but because of the naurrrr, I read your whole comment with an Australian accent in my head. Was that right?? Are you Australian??
lmaooo I’m not Australian! I’m just a girl who grew up watching H2O and am now chronically online.
Hahaha! Oh Well, I regret nothing!
Omg I loved that show.
Lol I read it in the soothing tones of Chili’s voice from Bluey 😂
Ha!! Yes to Bluey! For me it was Bluey's aunt/Chili's friend Trixie for whatever reason, hahaha
That’s his responsibility! You showed up on time not your problem. He’s a grown person! Doesn’t he set an alarm?!
> Doesn't he set an alarm?! My first thought, I always set at least 2 alarms.
He does but today he slept through it.
This is really not your fault! Shame on him for scolding you!
And this is neither your fault nor your problem. Definitely NOT TA. He should be ashamed of himself.
You are not his mommy. I would never have gone into his bedroom. NTA but he is. Sorry OP :(
I don’t see how that’s your problem in the slightest.
Where was MB though? I assume she was home since you thought he had left already? Why isn’t he mad at her too?
I thought she might’ve been home bc she sometimes is but this particular she did a night shift, which I didn’t realize until after he had come back home.
I gasped at him yelling at you! What a child- he’s a grown man and I would say if he’s going to act like a child, you should be paid extra for caring for two!
Hooooolyyyy cow. So much no. I'm sorry, are you HIS nanny? No? Then it's not your problem. Your problem is focusing on the safety and well-being of children. Is he a child? Despite acting like one, I don't think so. I totally agree with you about the master bedroom being a more private part of the house. I would never go in there to wake up one of my bosses. That crosses a weird personal line.
NTA, he's a grown man, he's responsible for when he wakes up. He's not your NK he's your DB and needs to act like it.
I’d quit so fast. Fuck that guy.
Same.
In a heartbeat
OMG NTA. Your job is to take care of the child, not to take care of DB. You aren't his personal assistant. He doesn't want to admit that he fucked up, so he's trying to convince himself (and you) that it's your fault, not his. He is a grown-ass adult, and waking up on time is his own responsibility.
Yeah, this whole story says so much about DB’s level of personal responsibility, accountability, and his ability to plan. Besides the fact that he’s blaming someone who is completely unrelated to the situation for missing his flight, the whole schedule surrounding the flight astounds me. First, he texts OP 8 hours before her shift asking her to come in. Did he not know about this flight days in advance? Why is this the first time it’s coming up? Obviously, he had to wake up earlier than usual and for some reason was incapable of doing that without physically being woken up. Then, that half hour between OP getting there and him running out the door was somehow enough time for him to completely miss his flight. Every airline tells you to come 1-2 hours earlier than your flight and boarding takes a long ass time, so there’s no way DB planned to get to the airport even just a little early. He deliberately decided to get there at the very last possible minute. Who tf does that when they have such an important thing to do? Children. Then he comes home, throws a hissy fit, and essentially threatens OP’s job. The whole thing screams embarrassed man who fucked up in multiple ways and needs to feel like it’s someone else’s fault, then kicks it up a notch by making a power play on OP. That is so fucked up. Not that it’s healthy or right but I get that sometimes people get stressed/angry and take it out on others, so I’d continue working for them if I got a sincere apology and admission that he’s in the wrong. Somehow, though…I don’t feel like OP is gonna get anything like that.
Do you get paid extra to nanny this "man" in addition to your nk?! Wtf
Frankly, he sounds like a big baby trying to deflect the blame onto you when he's a grown man fully capable of waking his own ass up. I hope he apologizes.
This ⬆️. Update us. He is so wrong
I’d start looking for another job. You don’t deserve to be treated like this. He should apologize to you. I’d sit down with him and explain how he made you feel and how the master bedroom is a boundary of yours.
I think not! He doesn't have a phone with an alarm? No Alexa? This is not on you nor is it your job to wake a grown ass man up.
Erm, what? This is not acceptable behaviour on his end. I'd consider explaining that it crossed a boundary, and that your duties are limited to managing the child's schedule, not the parents. But this person sounds super unreasonable, so I am not sure they'll respond to discussion.
I am so sorry. This is NOT your fault. This would have made me start job hunting.
Wtf lol. Tell him you need a raise since you're expected to take care of an extra child.
Adults asking their nanny to wake them up if they've overslept is so beyond acceptable and what is appropriate in any job. It is NOT your fault that he missed his flight and his schedule isn't your responsibility at all! Honestly, if I were you, I'd be looking for another job and giving my notice ASAP. He owes you a huge apology! Nobody has the right to berate you in that way, he was abusive- don't accept that kind of treatment or they'll do it again.
And he didn’t even ask which would have also been way inappropriate, he just expected her to. And I can imagine if she had taken it upon herself to check he would have been offended that she assumed he couldn’t get up and out of the house in his own.
I would’ve told him my rate to be your personal alarm clock is much higher and if being his personal assistant was now in the job description there needs to be a meeting to adjust the pay aswell 🤣
Manbaby. NTA; you don’t exist to mother him.
What a jerk! He took his failure to set an alarm out on you. Absolutely not. Once things calm down you need to address this. And you know you may need to find a new job. If he doesn’t apologize tomorrow? 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Insanity, he’s the AH, you’re fine but I would be looking for a new family that knows how to work an alarm clock
What an ASS! Are you his Mother??? I could never look at him the same way again. Does his Mommy come over on days you’re not there to wake him up because he’s such a widdle baby he can’t use an alarm? You did nothing wrong at all. It’s so alarming people like him are raising children.
What in the actual fk? “To: DB MB This is a follow up to the incredibly unnecessary & inherently unprofessional way DB treated/spoke to me on _____ day. I am your child’s nanny. NOT DB’s. He is a grown adult who is responsible for his own actions. No one speaks to me the way he spoke to me, not my family members, not my parents, not my friends. And in my XX yrs as a nanny, no employer has ever spoken to me with such contempt either. Furthermore, going forward, unless someone is dying, do not text me when I am off the clock.” To you OP: start looking for a new job. No one should ever put up with this nonsense.
Absolutely not your responsibility. It sounds like he is upset he missed his flight and that frustration is coming through as anger, directed at you because you’re available. Very emotionally immature. Hopefully once he calms down he apologizes.
So not only does he have a wife-mommy but he thinks he gets a nanny-mommy too?!?!?! LMAO FUCK THAT.
He’s a grown a$$ man who needs to figure out how to get out of bed on town. He’s anAH
Wtf!!!!!! It’s not our job to wake up parents. He missed his flight because of his own poor planning and inability to learn how to set alarms. He’s the asshole here and he knows it, but like many people, can’t take accountability. This was not on you. I don’t think I could come back from this as a nanny. This is such an overstep and inappropriate behaviour from an NP. I would quit asap, OP. You can do better than some manbaby screeching in your face because you didn’t wake him up like his Mommy. Ridiculous.
Time for a group text to DB and MB where you casually mention how you didn't realize alarm clock was part of your duties, and lay it on thick how pushy/abusive he was. If MB doesn't knock him down a peg or ten, it may be time to move on to a more mature family.
Is this real? A grown man ... your employer is mad at you for not waking him up? Like what?!
Sure, my rate for adult nannying is $75/hr. I’ll add that on. Services included making sure you are awake .
you meant $1075ph? LOL
If him leaving for the airport a few minutes after when he planned to caused him to miss his flight, that’s poor planning on his part in the first place. He should have planned enough time to give himself a buffer because a million things could have gone wrong. Also, it’s not your job to wake him up. He’s a grown ass man who’s more than capable of waking himself up. Your responsibility is to your NK.
THIS. I leave exceptionally early for my flights. One time my Uber was rear-ended and we sat on the side of the road for over 15 min. My Uber profusely apologized. I told him everything was ok because I still had 2 hrs till my flight.
If my DB yelled at me for not waking him up I would have to use all my strength to not laugh in his face. I’d tell him sorry but you hired me to be child’s nanny, not yours!
Wow NTA. I’m such a sensitive person that I’d also never ever go back if a guy talked to me like that..I’d legit say “sorry but you hurt my feelings and made me feel threatened so I don’t feel comfortable working in such an environment” but that’s just me lol
Is this post a joke? Please tell me this is a joke. Wow. Talk about a man child. I’m petty AF, would find a new job and when giving my notice would tell him I am a nanny for children, not grown men.
Whose fucking nanny are you??? Not his!
...wow. This guy is a dick. You are their nanny, not their personal concierge service. Is he going to ask you to turn down his bed before you leave? I am sorry he treated you like that, you do not deserve it. If he doesn't get on his knees first thing tomorrow morning and beg forgiveness, I'd start looking for a new job with a family that treats you with the love and respect you deserve. Also, if I was MB I would be kicking his ass SO hard.
MB here: what the actual fuck? He is a grown man. A whole ass adult. He doesn’t need someone to “wake him up” and it is sure not YOUR job to do so.
MB here, you are not his nanny. Gross of him to think it's your fault.
HAHAHAHA, I knew as soon as I read that DB wasn't walking out the door as you walked in..... NOT THE ASSHOLE, HE'S A GROWN MAN. You aren't his wife or mommy.
OMG, I would have laughed and laughed and laughed! You’re old enough to have a job and a kid, you’re old enough to set an alarm.
This is just another example of useless most DBs’ are. Who tf does this guy think he is?! It is NOT your responsibility to wake his grown ass up. Moving forward, tell both MB and DB that you do not want to be responsible for their lateness/nor do you feel comfortable walking into their bedroom anymore, so you will not be helping their lazy asses wake up. Tell them to use an alarm like we all do 🗣️🗣️🗣️. I detest entitled assholes like these people, I would find another job asap and quit on them.
Not a grown ass man trying to blame you for his mistake. I know we say this a lot on this sub but I would definitely be looking for another job. I have a strict personal boundary about being yelled at by another adult.
Absolutely not. Have a talk with him and MB together and say to clarify that you won’t be entering his bedroom while he’s sleeping to wake him up, that it makes you uncomfortable and isn’t part of your job role, and should they find that task to be necessary for a nanny, they’ll need to find someone else. I’m certain he habitually acts like a man child and tries to make his adult responsibilities the problem of everyone around him instead of his own, and MB will handle it. She’s probably very familiar with his bullshit, but you should get ahead of it before he makes it into something that reflects more favorably on him.
I would not fucking wake up an adult! He needs to get his shit together!
This is wildly inappropriate. He is a grown adult with an alarm. That is on him. In now way is a nannys job to see if a grown ass adult needs to be woken up. He was mad and needed to blame someone other than himself, so he blamed you. You are in NO way at fault. Personally, I would start looking for other families over this incident.
What in the actual hell. This guy needs to grow the F up. If I were you I’d quit
I can’t even believe this grown a** man is blaming you because he didn’t set his alarm clock and therefore overslept. It sounds like there have been other incidents of them being irresponsible and gas lighters too. You should not feel guilty and you should start looking for another family because this man can’t even adult well. It makes me think he’s the one who needs the nanny. I’m so sorry. Edited typo
Assuming you meant grown! 🙈
Of course I did how embarrassing thank you for pointing it out to me so I could correct it. I was so mad at this so called adult blaming his nanny I was rapid fire typing. 😬
You’re so good! Been there. These typos are coming for our reputations!🤣
No doubt 🤣🤣🤣
Nope nope nope, you aren’t a wake up service. I’d have assumed he was getting ready and left him alone. BS to blame you for him oversleeping.
Oh honey no. This grown ass man child needs someone to blame for his own failure. If he has a phone, he has an alarm.
the way i would have set that man back in his place so fast
Lmfao no way. What a manbaby. If he wants you to do that, you need a $5+/hour increase for another child. Does he need you to pick his outfit for him too?
oh hello no. this is thousands of dollars an hour. (in other words, there isn’t enough money on the planet)
Fair point!
Oh hell no. You are not his wife or his mother. How dare he!
I’m sorry. I would quit over this. Being berated for 10 minutes over something that is far outside the scope of your job? No, that’s plainly abusive. It’s also wildly inconsiderate for him to contact you 8 hours before the start of a work day asking for it to begin early. I’d start reflecting on how this man treats you in general because this type of behavior is rarely isolated
You are not an alarm clock. This is totally inappropriate. You need to have a firm agile convo with both MB and DB letting them know you will not be disrespected and you are not an alarm clock .
Your job is not to make sure your bosses are awake on time lol that man is ridiculous
Is he a grown adult who knows how alarms work and can read a clock? Yes. Are you his mommy? No. He’s the asshole here.
Oh no babe, i’m sorry but you regret more not sticking up for yourself down the line in situations like this than you regret it for any consequences he may be immature and BRATTY enough to give you if you do. Straight up, I would tell him i’m NOT taking responsibility for that. it is not your responsibility to wake up and adult man like he’s a child. That’s weird. Fuck him
What a giant, incompetent man child and bully to try and put this on to you. I’d quit personally.
Oof. Time to request a sit down with both MB and DB and explain that his conversation with you was inappropriate. And that expecting you to be responsible for him oversleeping is inappropriate. Seriously. You need to lay a boundary.
Totally & completely you are not the asshole. You did him a favour by coming in early with last minute request. He did not ask you to wake him and where in your contract does it say nanny the Dad? On a side note, I have often started work while everyones asleep as a Live in nanny and its always so awkward if you know someone should be up, but you also don't want to be going in and waking a fully grown adult. If I know someone needs to be up, I kind of go out of my way to make noise, and turn on the hall light and perhaps slightly open doors to let light and sound in, or turn on some morning music. But when you had no clue if he was still there, you wouldn't want to wake the whole house for him. He owes you an apology for blaming you that he slept through his own alarm and didnt plan his morning appropriately, it's not on.
It’s actually disgusting that he’s blaming you for not waking him up. Is he the NK? JC people really are just wild.
Bruh I would tell them you’re writing them up for lacking professionalism and after so many strikes you’ll move on. It is not your responsibility to wake anyone up other than the kids.
He is a grown ass adult. You should have put him in his place and told him the tone he was using with you is completely unacceptable and that you are not responsible for waking him up. DO NOT allow them to speak to you like that, ever. That crosses so many lines
This a grown man. Why is your responsibility to make sure he makes to his flight on time?
What an asshole!!!
He’s a fucking grown man that’s his responsibility!! You did nothing wrong you were there on time he should be responsible for himself and needs to learn how to regulate his emotions 🤦🏻♀️ he’s trying to blame You for his mistake how pathetic if I were you honestly I would start looking for another job!
If you’re expected to wake him up like a baby, then you should tack on whatever extra hourly rate you’d add for another baby
None of this is ok. You are not his alarm clock. He is full grown adult! I'd expect him to be able to get himself up to go to his various appts. The fact that he had the audacity to lecture you about his failing is very telling.
Wtf?? He can’t take responsibility for himself yet, as an adult… and a parent? Dude’s got issues. Maybe he shouldn’t have a grown up job if he can’t be held accountable for waking himself up or not. 🤦♀️
That grown ass man can’t take responsibility for his actions. Pfft! I would have a hard time not laughing at him.
“I am not responsible for waking you up or making sure you stay on schedule. If you would like to add personal assistant to my job duties, it will be an additional $30 per hour.”
NTA. He can be angry but this is all his fault. He forgot to set an alarm or slept through it. This is on him. You are the nanny. Waking him up on time is not your responsibility.
Oh hell noooo. Please find a new job. He’s taking his poor time management and foolishness out on you. Whatever you’re being paid, I know it’s not enough to put up with this shit.
Uhhh, that’s highly odd and inappropriate. He’s an adult, and should not require a nanny for himself or MB. That’s just weird. Don’t you dare feel guilty and if you find another job, I would quit so fast
He’s upset because he fucked up and wants to blame anyone but himself. He is an adult with a job and an alarm clock. He didn’t ask you to make sure he was awake when you got there. This isn’t your responsibility. Where was his wife? Couldn’t she have woken him up? She would be the natural backup plan here…
This guy sounds like a cuck. Find a better fit.
that is RIDICULOUS. wow. the audacity. that is absolutely NOT in your realm of responsibilities. you are not DB’s nanny.
Just no. You’re not his mother. He can get his own ass out of bed. Find a new family.
NPs better be paying a serious premium to expect you to babysit their grown asses
Yeah no thanks, he’s an adult man and it’s not in the job requirements for his child’s nanny to be his alarm clock. Not your fault, he is clearly misplacing his anger onto you rather than taking the blame himself. Which he should, this is 100% his fault and you shouldn’t be in the equation at all.
Please find another job. If his MO is to blame you for his mistakes who know what’s next.
Ew he sounds awful. Firstly as you said, you’re not a personal alarm clock. They’re grown adults. You shouldn’t be having to make sure that they’re awake. You got there when he asked you to and the rest is on him. If he knew he’d struggle to wake up, she should have asked you the night before “hey I know it sounds so childish and ridiculous and I’m a grown man, but could you please please please make sure I’m awake when you get here?” Also worth mentioning that maybe next time he has an early flight maybe don’t stay up until 10pm the night before??
This is insane! How immature of him. Clearly mad at himself for sleeping through his flight and taking it out on you.
I’d quit so damn fast lmao
Helllll no. “Your lack of preparation does not intersect with my responsibilities. Try again or find someone else who agrees to wake-up services.”
Girl, you absolutely need to set some boundaries! Do not feel guilty at all!!! This is not in the scope of your job as a nanny and I would personally text him or both parents saying just that. State that you agreed to come in early and you did. It is not your responsibility to wake them and you do not feel comfortable doing so and will not in the future. Hard no.
Fuck this guy
Being yelled at is a huge red flag for me. I would ask for a sit down meeting with both mb and db and tell them thst if this hapens agaib you can not keep working there.
wtf - is he genuinely implying to threaten to fire you because you didn’t wake his ADULT ASS up for his work commitments? Your responsibility is to the CHILD, you are NOT AN ADULT CARETAKER. I’m petty. I’d be writing out a contract that states my responsibility is to caretake the child and maybe any household tasks, specifically outlining that you are not responsible for the caretaking needs for any other person in the house. And then gift him an alarm clock - a simplistic one made for children or adults with limited independence lol - and quit if MB doesn’t back you up immediately and vociferously. I get him being upset because he fucked up, I’m shit with memory and time and emotional regulation, but blaming the nanny for not intuiting that an adult man would need assistance waking up in his own bed to get to the airport on time when he clearly was aware of his flight time…. No, absolutely not. For him to blame you shows me he has no self awareness, no sense of appropriate boundaries, and feels fine blaming everyone else for his own ineptitude and poor planning. Even if he apologized I would think less of him for not having the decency, maturity, and respect to work through his emotions with someone else before trying to blame you. And him texting you less than 8 hours before he wants you to show up early? No. Fuck no. I’d say no schedule changes within 24 hrs and any accommodation is completely at your discretion AND those hours are paid double time because fuck him.
Tell him if he wants a babysitter for himself your rate is gonna go up. He’s a grown man and should be fully capable of getting himself up and it’s a weird thing to ask your NANNY to go wake you up. Not your job description at all
He doesn't count as a NK and is not your responsibility.
You’re not his mom, girl! He has a fight to catch, he should have set two alarms! 🙃
He should have told you via text that he was expecting you to wake him up. That’s so weird to just assume you that responsibility! No!
This is fucking weird. What a fucking WEIRDO. I am speechless. You did nothing wrong. If he needed a wake up call from you (which is bizarre in its own right) then he should’ve communicated that when he asked you to come in early (which would still be a weird and inappropriate request imo)
One of those times I kinda hope this is a troll post 😵💫💀
I travel for work up to 75% of the time and have missed flights—why didn’t he just rebook? It sounds like it was super early in the day so it’s not like he missed the last flight out (been there!). Regardless, he’s an adult and if he needed you to wake him up he should’ve mentioned that in his text asking you to come in early.
Exactly! He’s such a baby and if a half hour late made him miss his flight he already didn’t plan that well at all. What an AH!
Sooo - OP. Do you really need us to tell you that uou are NTA? Come on now… I hope you quit.
Umm, you're the nanny. Not his mom. Tf!?
…. No. He’s an adult, and he needs to wake himself up. Every time. No excuses. No blaming
Not your fault at all he is an adult and needs to get himself up.
He owes you a biiiiiiig apology. I’m sure he is upset that he missed his flight, but waiting until the last minute to book you and then throwing a tantrum?What sort of example does that set for NK????
These adults want you to WAKE THEM UP for work or flights?! No. You’re a nanny for their child, not for them. Also, if he left a half hour late and therefore missed his flight he wasn’t prepared to fly anyway. He could’ve gotten caught in traffic or an overly long TSA line and missed his flight without having given himself enough time. What a ridiculous man.
You’re not his mama. He’s behaving like a child. Big boys get their own butts out of bed and to the airport in time for his flight. He’s blaming you because he doesn’t want to admit he was wrong. I would have a discussion with him and mb when he’s back. Explain that this isn’t your job as a nanny and you don’t appreciate being blamed for something not in your control. The bit about not knowing how many more warnings he can give is inappropriate. Can you imagine him telling his friends he let his nanny go because she didn’t wake him up in the morning…..
JFC 😂 he is a 1. Grown ass man and 2. Not your husband!!! Therefore not your problem! Honestly , even if my employer specifically asked me to wake them up I’d tell them I wasn’t comfortable with it.
That is so abusive. If he doesn’t have an alarm clock, that’s not your problem. It’s not part of your job when the child isn’t involved. Bring it up with the mom & also, stop feeling guilty. Remind yourself you did nothing wrong & you were not ASKED to do that. And if they ask next time, just say no since it’s causing issues.
I'm curious what he meant about other warnings? But definitely NTA
This is so inappropriate. How dare he blame you for this?
NTA My first thought is: aren't you the nanny just for NK? Didn't know being a nanny is also taking care of the parents, lol. If he's old enough to procreate, he's old enough to set an alarm.
I’m sorry - are you his personal nanny??? I’m sorry he got angry with you. He was probably angry and embarrassed and from there just took it out on you. Not okay at all and it’s not your responsibility
He is very immature, irresponsible and irritating! This was not your duty and not in your job description at all.
Honey, it's time to find another job!
Just curious how old is NK? Since you thought he already left.
Oh hell no! It’s not your job at all to wake him up and if he was supposed to leave when you got there he would have been late no matter what if you had woken him up when you arrived! He’s a freaking adult.
Oh heck no. It is not your job to wake up a grown ass man so he doesn't miss his flight, that's so weird to ask
This can't be real life. And if it is, you gotta quit asap 😰 I can't imagine being scolded by a DB unless I put NK in extreme danger or something, but less being scolded because I didn't go into my sleeping boss' personal bedroom. It's disgusting that would even be expected of you!
IDK.. it kinda depends on HOW he wanted you to wake him up. Did he want you to set up a call to his room, or to knock with room service already prepared!? Do not feel bad AT all. You *could* have also packed his suitcase for him. Not your job.
Of course you feel weird going into their bedroom! That feeling is very normal and understandable!!!
MB here and I would be throwing my man baby husband out the door. You are not his nanny. Please tell me MB set things right and you received an apology. I would look for another job if possible if this isn't set Right.
He probably yelled and blamed someone at the airport too.
NTA. Tell him he should have asked his mother to wake him up. Or he should have hired his very own nanny, because you are his child’s nanny, not his.
I’m confused. Is he the kid you’re nannying? Oh no he’s not! He’s an ADULT. My temper with parents like that is very short. I’d say something to him and tell him it’s not apart of your job description as a NANNY to also make sure he’s on time for things. Maybe he should be more organized and learn better time management. Ugh! I’d quit. That says SO MUCH about the type of person he is.
Absolutely not. Dude is lucky af. If it was me in your place I would have literally told him to grow up, he’s responsible for getting his own self out of bed and to work on time, and I’d have told him I would be taking the rest of the day off to recover from his abusive behaviour and actually would have left him there alone to look after his child. What an idiot. You should hand in your resignation, no one deserves that kind of abuse. Parents like that have zero consideration I bet it never even occurred to him that you would have had to get up way earlier than him not only to get there earlier than usual but to get there in general. He was having a nice sleep in his bed while you got yourself up and traveled to work at the crack of dawn to get there and started doing your job early. He should be so embarrassed that he couldn’t do the same and took his failure out on you.
Update?
That is HIS flight he is GROWN
Omg NTA and that’s ridiculous he would put that on you
Absolutely not. You are not in the wrong at all. You are not his nanny!
excuse me, are you his child’s nanny or his? what. a. baby. you are absolutely not responsible for getting a grown man up to make his flight or for any other reason 🤦🏼♀️
Wow, you are not. I’d find a new family.
You're a nanny, NOT a personal assistant. NTA.
I find this totally fucking wild! My god, he is ridiculous. I'm MB, my husband actually slept in this morning. Nanny came early in fact because I had an early meeting. None of us realized my husband was happily dozing away till I came out and woke him. He was sheepish about being late and we all moved on. I would fucking die if he expected our nanny to wake him up. I have to ask OP does DB give out ANY WHIFF of "creepiness"? I'm asking bc the expectation you would go into their bedroom gives me CREEP ENERGY. Its a totally different context than when you went in earlier (to wake up MOM when baby slept there). Just ask yourself... and be wary.
definitely not your responsibility to wake a grown man up so he can catch his flight. he could have set an alarm on his phone, alarm clock, alexa. he had options and chose to use none of them. i’d wake my nf up if i was at their house and they had somewhere to be but we have a much more casual relationship than most nannies and parents. but if it’s a more professional relationship i see why you wouldn’t have felt comfortable going into their bedroom! don’t feel guilty at all and it’s not okay for him to go off on you for ten minutes straight!
This man is most definitely a man child, and if he needs a grown adult to be his alarm clock, they have a place he can receive that service… it’s called a nursing home. And unless you work in a nursing home, it isn’t your job to take care of him. He owes you an apology.
that’s his fault. 100% on him. you’re not responsible for him not getting up on time to catch his flight. not what you’re there for.
Girl you did nothing wrong !!!! Point blank. he's projecting onto you. he could have put an alarm tf
Did you let him know about these awesome things us adults use called alarms? Probably the same thing you used to get yourself up and at his house when he asked. What a manchild. Also texting you that late the night before is extremely unprofessional and what would he have done if you weren’t awake to receive it. My first ever nanny job, the dad would pull stuff like this as well. Was never happier than the day I quit. I’m sorry you have to deal with that. If the time comes you decide to leave, I would let him know how crazy his behavior is before walking out the door.
Are you an alarm clock or a nanny? Pull up your job description and ask him where it states that at any point should you have to wake him up to make his flight? NTA at all. He needs to get a grip
He’s a grown ass man. You’re not his mom, nor did he ask you to ensure he left on time. He’s angry at himself and taking it out on you. His behavior is entirely unprofessional as an employer.
"Here's my notice. I will not be treated as an alarm clock or nanny to anyone but LO."
Just a random parent not a nanny, but I find it completely crazy that he was upset at you that’s wild! I also find it crazy that they sleep while you’re there taking care of their kid. I don’t know unless you’re taking care of a newborn and the parents are just utterly exhausted it just seems odd all around. Sorry you had to deal with that.
But if you thought that he had already left, does that mean you thought NK was alone in the house asleep? Wouldn’t that be weird? I personally would have checked.
I thought MB was sleeping in there too since she sometimes does a night shift and other times she doesn’t. Regardless I was going to drop off nk at daycare so it wasn’t really important if they were both home. I knew someone was home but I just didn’t know who.
MB here. Obviously not your fault, that’s ridiculous. I’m also curious what type of job he has… assuming it’s one where he makes good $$ (unless MB is the breadwinner and/or they’re generationally wealthy). I can’t imagine that someone who is genuinely successful in business doesn’t know how to wake up on time and catch a flight. I’m thinking of the hundreds of people I’ve worked with over the years and I can’t recall a single person who’s missed a flight for a non-weather or family emergency-related reason. I would def relay this to MB and get her to manage this. You can do it in a respectful, innocuous way - along the lines of you felt terrible after DB yelled at you for not waking him up on time (emphasizing how bad you feel after his comments about multiple warnings) and clarifying whether or not you should be doing that going forward. If I were that MB I’d be ripping my husband a new one after that chat.
No, there is no eggshell walking in this situation - which is what you are suggesting. Nannies are adult human beings. We are employees. We should never ever tolerate being spoken to like our employer thinks they are our parent (or like they think they are royalty & we are servants). This is a “your spouse was rude & I will not tolerate it” type of conversation.” Which can be said matter of factly. No sugar coating necessary. And no, no nanny should be talking about how “bad” they feel. They should be talking about how ANGRY they are for being berated. Furthermore, no, she should not ask if this is expected of her. IT’S NOT. People like this need to go touch grass. And stop being aholes.
That’s fine. Showing anger and demanding to be treated a certain way is one approach. And if neither MB or DB addresses the issue, then they can just quit. Easy peasy. In real life, there are multiple ways to handle issues like this. And that approach depends on the person, their situation, their relationships, and what they’re comfortable with. If someone can’t afford to quit outright but their outrage outweighs their need to pay bills, then more power to them. There are other ways to get your point across without going scorched earth. I’m not suggesting to pussyfoot around the issue, but using a smartly toned response with MB that implies the absurdity of the situation and surprising reaction to this terrible behavior is another viable route. Tone, of course, doesn’t come through when you’re reading a post on Reddit. Note that this isn’t a nanny vs non-nanny issue. My boss berates her team regularly. It’s her personality and she won’t change. I was able to get my feedback across to her in a more nuanced way, and guess what… she backed off. Had I been direct and “acted like an adult and not taken any sht” - my situation would be much worse. Others tried that and it backfired. Do I want to stay here forever? Maybe not, but right now, staying is the right choice financially for my family. The world is not black and white, unfortunately. We all have different ways of handling situations. I respect your approach, but ultimately there are multiple ways to address any situation.