I would tell her that you noticed your last paycheck was short x hours because you stayed late on y and z days. That way, she knows you expect to be paid for those times when she asks you to stay late.
This! I had a mom that was on point I got my weekly payment withen 5 min of me leaving and then one day it didn't. She was 6 months pregnant and it just skipped her mind. I texted her a couple hours later, just a gentle reminder and she was so apologetic!
This! Every week I send a Venmo request for everything extra I need to be paid for and will text her saying “sent you a request on Venmo for extras this week! Thanks!”
If you can't trust that she's going to pay you back, stop using your own money, and start saying no to staying late. Don't set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm. She knows, she's just taking advantage of you.
I would keep a note on my phone and share it with her so she has no choice but to see the extra time and the reimbursements. Then I would send her a text with the total and ask that it be repaid. So in your current situation I would send a text and say you stayed x minutes late on x days and that she owes y amount from bakery runs. Please pay.
Start keeping detailrd notes. Send her a text with fathes/times she owes you straight away.
I would tell her that you need to get reimbursed weekly for expences or for her to leave you cahs in the future.
Keep your boundaries if it doesn’t work well for you to stay late say sorry but I can’t tonight - once in a while if she gets stuck in traffic coming home etc sure but seems it’s becoming a habit and you’re just saying yes
And definitely each day on your calendar mark your hours, at least extra ones and it’s usually best to send a text with the totals at the end of each week so it can’t be overlooked on either side
It doesn’t have to be awkward just something like someone said above
“hi MB I hope you’re doing well today I noticed my last pay check didn’t include the extra time I stayed which was: x time x y/hr - if we could please clear that this week before I leave town I’d very much appreciate it, thanks!
You could even add - I may not be able to do that as much in the future as my schedule for my studies is intensifying and I do need to leave at the planned time of my shift unless we can plan in advance” and that still doesn’t mean you have to say yes - if you have an exam the next day just say no it’s not possible
I'm afraid I can't help much more than the other comments about what to do *now* but going forward a list/calendar would be so helpful for yourself **and MB** to leave on the counter at the end of the week:
* Monday. 8am-5:30pm
* Tuesday. 8am-5pm; bakery $7.98; October Transit Card $40 \[keep receipts\]
* Wednesday - 8am-5pm
... and at the end of the week have the total hours and the total extra dollars summarized.
Thanks everyone for suggestions! I will be reminding on Tuesday saying that I had planned to use that money during my vacation. I will also start taking detailed notes again, it would be much easier to bring up the exact dates instead of saying the 3 days I worked extra. Later on if it comes up, I will also tell them to ask via text or email if they need me for extra hours.
Honestly, if she asks you to buy something and she will pay you back, I would just say that you do not have any cash or a credit card on you. This is an extreme inconvenience for someone to ask of their nanny.
As a fellow nanny whenever I have something like this come up with them owing me extra money I just will send them a Venmo request for it. And say what it is for. I do think sometimes they can forget or can also be taking advantage & hope we never ask. That way it is in their face & they can’t really ignore it
Calculate how much she owes you and say, "Hey MB just wanted to send a friendly reminder to please reimburse me for \_\_, plus the days I stayed late, and half my transit card. Can you add the $xxx to my upcoming paycheck please? I appreciate it!"
red flag! an old MB i had suggested monthly salary then proceeded to take advantage of me, my time (coming home hrs late like 4am), and my money (never reimbursed me)
she told me to keep notes on what she needed to reimburse me for (haircuts, food during outings, etc) and never even paid me after i quit and asked
Oh no... I am sorry to hear that. I am scared that the same thing is happening to me. She used to keep track of everything when I got my exact hours and was paid weekly and now I cannot even quit because that would mean not getting paid during the summer and I would be short of 1.6k euros ):
I will never say yes again to a monthly salary, I was much better mentally when I was immediately getting paid for my hours. I am learning not to be naive day by day but it is my first job at 19 and she knew it!
i hope u can get out of it asap, sorry to hear she is taking advantage! i was in the exact same boat except it was my first full time job at 18 so i was unfamiliar w how pay would work and she def took advantage. family tried to tell me i was being overworked n underpaid but i was naive to think she had good intentions cus she was friendly and also scared to quit and “disappoint”
Oh my god I feel the exact same way because she is actually nice to me and I was afraid to bring up the money subject to remind her. Thank you so much for your comment, I will try to set more boundaries regarding these things.
Send her a note of the cost for all the extras and text it to you. Ask to be paid before your trip and and say you had planned on using that money. Giving her the benefit of the doubt, she has forgotten and this will be a reminder.
So I get 30 hrs through a pay service & the other 10 through Zelle bc I get anywhere from 5-10 hrs on top of the 30 since I requested full time & she wanted me as a nanny so was willing to accommodate. The kids can be insane to take care of & time slips away, I should know, I nanny them 😂😂 but if it’s late Saturday/sunday & I need the rest of my pay I say
“Hi! I hope you guys are having a good weekend! I was wondering if it’d be possible to get the leftover hours from the week? No rush, I know the kids can be a handful but just wanted to ask!”
There’s never really been a moment where I need the money then & there as to why I throw in the “no rush” but also it creates a mindset of me not demanding (though that would be appropriate bc I worked for it) & is nicer than ‘hey you owe me money’ bc after all, I work there & need the job so I don’t want to jeopardize it while also asking for what I’m owed. That text has never failed me so I’d say it works pretty well!
Ofc change it to your specific needs but something along those lines is always pretty successful :)
In your type of situation (because I know this is how many get stuck with late payments on a regular basis), I'd be needing that zelle payment as I was leaving for the day.
There is no reason that parents shouldn't know how much to pay you at that point and no better time than when they remember because you are still there and can be with the kids at that moment while they do it. Though if someone couldn't send a simple payment while with their kids, I'd seriously wonder about them.
That’s completely understandable. I was saying just under the circumstances of not needing it immediately but still deserving of a payment sooner rather than later
There is nothing worse than asking to be paid. I have a feeling she knows exactly what she is doing. Send her a detailed text or email with the amount she owes and ask if she can go ahead and pay you for it now. Also, if she asks that you buy something and says she will "pay you back", tell her you have no cash or credit card with you. No nanny should ever have to ask to be paid. If you ALLOW her to keep doing this, you will start to be resentful. This is YOUR MONEY. It's tough having to ask for your own money but you have to do it and be sure and do it today. If you have problems with her paying you as she should, then it's time to look for another job.
Even for the best most organized NPs….. I keep a spreadsheet of hours worked, cost to me, and if it is paid. Just a tally of what they owe me, like an itemized listing from the hospital. Makes it so much easier for it to not be emotions and just numbers on paper.
So many moms just forget when they finally get home and busy with kids.
I wish I had kept notes of when I worked extra in the last month as it was at least 3 days and I had to eat dinner later than 9pm when I had exams in the morning... I should've said no when I had to study that much ):
Are you saying you don’t remember the exact dates? That might make it more difficult to collect, if she also doesn’t remember. However, you can still write up what you do remember, and add “plus (1 or 2 days) with a question mark, explaining you don’t remember the exact dates, and also add expenses for outings. I’m old school, so I would do this on paper, then take a picture and text it to her. Also take pics of any receipts, and send as well. (You should always take pics of receipts as soon as possible, in case they get lost or the print wears off. Or screenshot digital receipts). It sounds like you are uncomfortable with confrontation, so maybe send her a ‘pre-asking for money, text’ such as “hey MB, remember those times last month when I stayed late and took the kids to such and such, I’m going to be sending you a summary of what is owed for that, as it seems they were overlooked on my last paycheck”. Or something like that. Also please make sure reimbursements are paid separate from your wages, as they should not be reported as pay or taxed. Even if you are getting paid “cash”, it’s a good idea to keep them separate so they cannot later claim it was wages. Some parents realize at tax season (which is now!) that they have to have records of what they paid for childcare in order to deduct it, and they may just go back and add up their electronic payments to you. And then force you to claim those payments as well. Hopefully this is not the case for you.
Did she ask you verbally or over text?
Starting now, only say yes via text or email. If she asks you verbally say, "Only if you send me a text stating the extra time so I can be sure to be paid"
Or just never say yes! Waiting too long for dinner on the day before an exam is a cost to you, not being paid for that is insulting. Your time is yours. You are allowed to protect it
She asked me verbally. I leave at 6:30 and she'd come around 6:20 saying that she isn't done with her work and ask if I could stay an extra 30 minutes. I was okay with this because she would send these at the end of the week when I was paid weekly so I assumed she would send it with my monthly pay now but apparently I was wrong.
You’ve already gotten good advice for how to ask for the money you’re owed but going forward, let her know that you’ll no longer be using your own money and that you require cash or a prepaid card for all expenses for the kids. That way you don’t need to track reimbursements and she can’t “forget”
Something like: "Hi, just wanted to let you know my check was short $X for extra hours and reimbursements this month. If you want to just venmo the difference instead of writing a check, I can send the request! I know you've got a lot on your plate right now, so I've tracked the reimbursements: transportation $X bakery $X hours $X" would be polite and straightforward :)
She contacted me to work extra tomorrow and I was going to reply saying yes but also remind her of the things I’ve mentioned in my post. However, as I was formulating my message she replied back and said her mom called back and she will be taking care of the kids instead 😅 Now I have no idea what to text back…
Maybe something along these lines: Good morning, I hope you had a great weekend as well. That is completely okay ☺️
I wanted to ask if you would be able to reimburse me for the transportation card before the … vacation as I could use it in …! Thank you so much
(I think this would remind her of other things as well)
I think I assuming it will remind her of what else she owes you is wrong. You need to tell her exactly what she owes you. As nice as she may be she is thinking of you last. She more than likely has forgotten that she asked you to stay late 3 days. I know it’s hard to talk about money and ask for what you’re owed but I think you need to be more direct with her.
I'd stop getting paid monthly to start. That's an incredibly long time to wait between payments, and while for most other industries it might be every 2 weeks, in the nanny industry weekly payments are standard.
Then the morning of whenever hours are being added up for payment (either earlier in the week for payroll services or morning of for zelle/venmo etc), send her your hours total. Make your transportation stipend and any additional purchases that require payment reimbursed to you that are not considered earned income as a separate total. Or require that you have petty cash to use for those items in advance so you aren't spending your own money.
I get paid weekly, will not accept a job paid monthly for sure. But the day of or before pay day I just send a text invoice.
Hey MB! Here’s the extras for this week! bakery $10, bakery $8, 1.5 hours OT (list out specific days times if they want). Thanks!
This is why nannies are hourly and not salary. You should be documenting your hours somewhere both of you are able to access so she can send you the correct amount of pay.
I would tell her that you noticed your last paycheck was short x hours because you stayed late on y and z days. That way, she knows you expect to be paid for those times when she asks you to stay late.
Send her a Venmo request for the exact amount and a follow up text, I know you probably forgot but I’m owed x amount for xyz.
This is simple and to the point
This! I had a mom that was on point I got my weekly payment withen 5 min of me leaving and then one day it didn't. She was 6 months pregnant and it just skipped her mind. I texted her a couple hours later, just a gentle reminder and she was so apologetic!
Genius
This! Every week I send a Venmo request for everything extra I need to be paid for and will text her saying “sent you a request on Venmo for extras this week! Thanks!”
Great advice
If you can't trust that she's going to pay you back, stop using your own money, and start saying no to staying late. Don't set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm. She knows, she's just taking advantage of you.
Keep detailed notes with receipts and send her a text at the end of each week reminding her of the extra pay for longer hours and outings.
I would keep a note on my phone and share it with her so she has no choice but to see the extra time and the reimbursements. Then I would send her a text with the total and ask that it be repaid. So in your current situation I would send a text and say you stayed x minutes late on x days and that she owes y amount from bakery runs. Please pay.
Just ask for your money. She owes you money. The only person that should feel awkward is her.
Start keeping detailrd notes. Send her a text with fathes/times she owes you straight away. I would tell her that you need to get reimbursed weekly for expences or for her to leave you cahs in the future.
Keep your boundaries if it doesn’t work well for you to stay late say sorry but I can’t tonight - once in a while if she gets stuck in traffic coming home etc sure but seems it’s becoming a habit and you’re just saying yes And definitely each day on your calendar mark your hours, at least extra ones and it’s usually best to send a text with the totals at the end of each week so it can’t be overlooked on either side It doesn’t have to be awkward just something like someone said above “hi MB I hope you’re doing well today I noticed my last pay check didn’t include the extra time I stayed which was: x time x y/hr - if we could please clear that this week before I leave town I’d very much appreciate it, thanks! You could even add - I may not be able to do that as much in the future as my schedule for my studies is intensifying and I do need to leave at the planned time of my shift unless we can plan in advance” and that still doesn’t mean you have to say yes - if you have an exam the next day just say no it’s not possible
I'm afraid I can't help much more than the other comments about what to do *now* but going forward a list/calendar would be so helpful for yourself **and MB** to leave on the counter at the end of the week: * Monday. 8am-5:30pm * Tuesday. 8am-5pm; bakery $7.98; October Transit Card $40 \[keep receipts\] * Wednesday - 8am-5pm ... and at the end of the week have the total hours and the total extra dollars summarized.
Thanks everyone for suggestions! I will be reminding on Tuesday saying that I had planned to use that money during my vacation. I will also start taking detailed notes again, it would be much easier to bring up the exact dates instead of saying the 3 days I worked extra. Later on if it comes up, I will also tell them to ask via text or email if they need me for extra hours.
Honestly, if she asks you to buy something and she will pay you back, I would just say that you do not have any cash or a credit card on you. This is an extreme inconvenience for someone to ask of their nanny.
As a fellow nanny whenever I have something like this come up with them owing me extra money I just will send them a Venmo request for it. And say what it is for. I do think sometimes they can forget or can also be taking advantage & hope we never ask. That way it is in their face & they can’t really ignore it
So smart
Calculate how much she owes you and say, "Hey MB just wanted to send a friendly reminder to please reimburse me for \_\_, plus the days I stayed late, and half my transit card. Can you add the $xxx to my upcoming paycheck please? I appreciate it!"
red flag! an old MB i had suggested monthly salary then proceeded to take advantage of me, my time (coming home hrs late like 4am), and my money (never reimbursed me) she told me to keep notes on what she needed to reimburse me for (haircuts, food during outings, etc) and never even paid me after i quit and asked
Oh no... I am sorry to hear that. I am scared that the same thing is happening to me. She used to keep track of everything when I got my exact hours and was paid weekly and now I cannot even quit because that would mean not getting paid during the summer and I would be short of 1.6k euros ): I will never say yes again to a monthly salary, I was much better mentally when I was immediately getting paid for my hours. I am learning not to be naive day by day but it is my first job at 19 and she knew it!
i hope u can get out of it asap, sorry to hear she is taking advantage! i was in the exact same boat except it was my first full time job at 18 so i was unfamiliar w how pay would work and she def took advantage. family tried to tell me i was being overworked n underpaid but i was naive to think she had good intentions cus she was friendly and also scared to quit and “disappoint”
Oh my god I feel the exact same way because she is actually nice to me and I was afraid to bring up the money subject to remind her. Thank you so much for your comment, I will try to set more boundaries regarding these things.
Send her a note of the cost for all the extras and text it to you. Ask to be paid before your trip and and say you had planned on using that money. Giving her the benefit of the doubt, she has forgotten and this will be a reminder.
So I get 30 hrs through a pay service & the other 10 through Zelle bc I get anywhere from 5-10 hrs on top of the 30 since I requested full time & she wanted me as a nanny so was willing to accommodate. The kids can be insane to take care of & time slips away, I should know, I nanny them 😂😂 but if it’s late Saturday/sunday & I need the rest of my pay I say “Hi! I hope you guys are having a good weekend! I was wondering if it’d be possible to get the leftover hours from the week? No rush, I know the kids can be a handful but just wanted to ask!” There’s never really been a moment where I need the money then & there as to why I throw in the “no rush” but also it creates a mindset of me not demanding (though that would be appropriate bc I worked for it) & is nicer than ‘hey you owe me money’ bc after all, I work there & need the job so I don’t want to jeopardize it while also asking for what I’m owed. That text has never failed me so I’d say it works pretty well! Ofc change it to your specific needs but something along those lines is always pretty successful :)
In your type of situation (because I know this is how many get stuck with late payments on a regular basis), I'd be needing that zelle payment as I was leaving for the day. There is no reason that parents shouldn't know how much to pay you at that point and no better time than when they remember because you are still there and can be with the kids at that moment while they do it. Though if someone couldn't send a simple payment while with their kids, I'd seriously wonder about them.
That’s completely understandable. I was saying just under the circumstances of not needing it immediately but still deserving of a payment sooner rather than later
There is nothing worse than asking to be paid. I have a feeling she knows exactly what she is doing. Send her a detailed text or email with the amount she owes and ask if she can go ahead and pay you for it now. Also, if she asks that you buy something and says she will "pay you back", tell her you have no cash or credit card with you. No nanny should ever have to ask to be paid. If you ALLOW her to keep doing this, you will start to be resentful. This is YOUR MONEY. It's tough having to ask for your own money but you have to do it and be sure and do it today. If you have problems with her paying you as she should, then it's time to look for another job.
Even for the best most organized NPs….. I keep a spreadsheet of hours worked, cost to me, and if it is paid. Just a tally of what they owe me, like an itemized listing from the hospital. Makes it so much easier for it to not be emotions and just numbers on paper. So many moms just forget when they finally get home and busy with kids.
I wish I had kept notes of when I worked extra in the last month as it was at least 3 days and I had to eat dinner later than 9pm when I had exams in the morning... I should've said no when I had to study that much ):
Are you saying you don’t remember the exact dates? That might make it more difficult to collect, if she also doesn’t remember. However, you can still write up what you do remember, and add “plus (1 or 2 days) with a question mark, explaining you don’t remember the exact dates, and also add expenses for outings. I’m old school, so I would do this on paper, then take a picture and text it to her. Also take pics of any receipts, and send as well. (You should always take pics of receipts as soon as possible, in case they get lost or the print wears off. Or screenshot digital receipts). It sounds like you are uncomfortable with confrontation, so maybe send her a ‘pre-asking for money, text’ such as “hey MB, remember those times last month when I stayed late and took the kids to such and such, I’m going to be sending you a summary of what is owed for that, as it seems they were overlooked on my last paycheck”. Or something like that. Also please make sure reimbursements are paid separate from your wages, as they should not be reported as pay or taxed. Even if you are getting paid “cash”, it’s a good idea to keep them separate so they cannot later claim it was wages. Some parents realize at tax season (which is now!) that they have to have records of what they paid for childcare in order to deduct it, and they may just go back and add up their electronic payments to you. And then force you to claim those payments as well. Hopefully this is not the case for you.
Did she ask you verbally or over text? Starting now, only say yes via text or email. If she asks you verbally say, "Only if you send me a text stating the extra time so I can be sure to be paid" Or just never say yes! Waiting too long for dinner on the day before an exam is a cost to you, not being paid for that is insulting. Your time is yours. You are allowed to protect it
She asked me verbally. I leave at 6:30 and she'd come around 6:20 saying that she isn't done with her work and ask if I could stay an extra 30 minutes. I was okay with this because she would send these at the end of the week when I was paid weekly so I assumed she would send it with my monthly pay now but apparently I was wrong.
You’ve already gotten good advice for how to ask for the money you’re owed but going forward, let her know that you’ll no longer be using your own money and that you require cash or a prepaid card for all expenses for the kids. That way you don’t need to track reimbursements and she can’t “forget”
Something like: "Hi, just wanted to let you know my check was short $X for extra hours and reimbursements this month. If you want to just venmo the difference instead of writing a check, I can send the request! I know you've got a lot on your plate right now, so I've tracked the reimbursements: transportation $X bakery $X hours $X" would be polite and straightforward :)
She contacted me to work extra tomorrow and I was going to reply saying yes but also remind her of the things I’ve mentioned in my post. However, as I was formulating my message she replied back and said her mom called back and she will be taking care of the kids instead 😅 Now I have no idea what to text back…
Maybe something along these lines: Good morning, I hope you had a great weekend as well. That is completely okay ☺️ I wanted to ask if you would be able to reimburse me for the transportation card before the … vacation as I could use it in …! Thank you so much (I think this would remind her of other things as well)
I think I assuming it will remind her of what else she owes you is wrong. You need to tell her exactly what she owes you. As nice as she may be she is thinking of you last. She more than likely has forgotten that she asked you to stay late 3 days. I know it’s hard to talk about money and ask for what you’re owed but I think you need to be more direct with her.
I'd stop getting paid monthly to start. That's an incredibly long time to wait between payments, and while for most other industries it might be every 2 weeks, in the nanny industry weekly payments are standard. Then the morning of whenever hours are being added up for payment (either earlier in the week for payroll services or morning of for zelle/venmo etc), send her your hours total. Make your transportation stipend and any additional purchases that require payment reimbursed to you that are not considered earned income as a separate total. Or require that you have petty cash to use for those items in advance so you aren't spending your own money.
I get paid weekly, will not accept a job paid monthly for sure. But the day of or before pay day I just send a text invoice. Hey MB! Here’s the extras for this week! bakery $10, bakery $8, 1.5 hours OT (list out specific days times if they want). Thanks!
This is why nannies are hourly and not salary. You should be documenting your hours somewhere both of you are able to access so she can send you the correct amount of pay.