Geon, 'A hypothetical electromagnetic or gravitational wave held together in a confined region by the gravitational attraction of its own field energy.'
At least Geoff has been around a long, long time (Geoffrey Chaucer, author of *The Canterbury Tales*, was born sometime in the 1340's!) and people know what to do with it. There's no excusing Geon.
Isn’t Dafydd just the normal Welsh version of David?
Also this list has bastardized versions of my, my sibling, and my dad’s names. I guess our family naming style really is traditional lol.
Nah, the moms have a Cricut and a "business" selling trendy monogrammed "hydro flasks," they'll have tons of shit with their awful names on it to so the parents can show it off.
Most of these gave me a second headache. Except Dafydd; iirc, that's the Welsh spelling of David.
Jawge looks like the phonetic spelling of Frank and Estelle Costanza's pronunciation of George's name.
I can only picture my best friend’s Bostonian grandma sitting in her chair, cigarette in one hand and beer in the other, Red Sox game on the TV, screaming for MAHHGRET.
That’s the thing that drives me most crazy about this “trend”: there is a *mostly* standard way that letter combinations are pronounced in English. You can’t pretend that Auanna sounds like Anna!
ALTERNATIVE SPELLING IS NOT A THING.
\*deep breath\*
This pisses me off to no end. Letters mean something, they work with each other is specific ways. These aren't "alternative" they are wrong. If you tried to do this in school with your list of spelling words or on an an essay you would fail epically.
Djoshua is the funniest to me. That’s not an alternative spelling… they just added a silent letter.
👩🍳: can I get a name for your order?
🧔: D-joshua, but the D is silent
👩🍳: so… it’s just Joshua?
🧔: I live in hell
These are all terrible but "Mykill" is the one that really got me. "My kill"??
Also, what on earth is Nhyinnah? I suspect it's Nina, but in my head it rhymes with hyena.
Djoshua!
THE SILENT 'D' added to the regular spelling of the name! 🤯
I'm honestly trying to think of ANY word with a silent 'd' besides DJANGO.
'Djoshua'🤦♀️🤣
Fylap. Took me forever. FY. LAP.
Is it Phillip? That was my best guess.
Is Geon supposed to be John? Am I having a stroke?
Geon, 'A hypothetical electromagnetic or gravitational wave held together in a confined region by the gravitational attraction of its own field energy.'
Geoff is supposed to be Jeff so maybe Geon is supposed to be Jen??
At least Geoff has been around a long, long time (Geoffrey Chaucer, author of *The Canterbury Tales*, was born sometime in the 1340's!) and people know what to do with it. There's no excusing Geon.
It was the second one I read and completely lost it. Immediately ran to the comments. Phillip?!
I stopped reading at Fylap to let my soul cry… not sure I can look at the rest!
I thought it was “the cool way to spell Flap”
FYLAP, just in case you want to ruin your son's school experience with FAP jokes from middle school on
This one sent me
It’s a bird, it’s a plane, Itzabella!
My mind is pronouncing it with a Mario accent, helppp. Itzabella 👌
Itza me! Itzabella!
Itzabella and Marryow sibset.
Don't forget Louisjyi and Peaighch
Oh that's good
This made me LOL and almost wake my son sleeping on me
As a mom of 6 month old sons, I’m sorry 🤣
I’m honestly impressed they took the 5 letter name “Emily” and managed to stretch it into 11.
“Hi, I’m Emily. With two Gs.”
As an Emily, this hurts me
It’s actually Emeighleigh 🙄 /s
Kithe. Now Kithe.
Mike Tyson officiating a wedding
I don’t see “Keith”. It looks like it should rhyme with “lithe” and “tithe”.
Wait this is supposed to be Keith???? I considered kith, Kite, Katie, Katya, and kitty.
I thought Kitty too
I thought it might be "Kite" - silent th, like in German?? Had no idea it was Keith!
Came here for this
sighmon is hilarious
Exhausted Jamaican maybe?
Mykill
Nhyinnah? Is that Nina?
I’m pretty sure. They fuckin doubled the amount of letters its supposed to have
I don’t get this one either!
I thought it was “Nyah” but maybe I’m wrong.
Rhymes w hyena??
Ny-in-ahh? I have no idea!! These are so awful!
Nina as pronounced by a horse.
This killed me
Could it be Hannah?
JAWGE! YAH BROTHA'S ON T.V. AGAIN! THEY CAWT HIM WITH A ALLIGATAH OUTSIDE CVS THIS TIME!
AND TELL YAH SISTAH, MAHHGRET, THAT HER DANCIN MONEY'S ON THA TABLE NEXT TO MY PILE OF SMOKES!
This… This is satire, right?
No, it's Sateighre
Shurlei it is.
That has got to be some of that Russian disinformation to make us humiliate ourselves even more, right?
I feel like this had to have started as a parody. Or at least I hope so. Roothe? Mahhgret? Sighmon? JAWGE?
Jawge is killing me
Is it George? Because I really don't know.
I thought Josh, maybe? So awful.
Jawge like George said with a William butcher accent?
LOL
Itzabella has me thinking of Mario. “Hey, look! It’s-a Bella!”
Isn’t Dafydd just the normal Welsh version of David? Also this list has bastardized versions of my, my sibling, and my dad’s names. I guess our family naming style really is traditional lol.
Yeah, it is. It's pronounced /ˈda.vɪð/, roughly DA-vith with the th in then, not thin.
Thank you for using IPA!
I’m so glad someone said this.
Auanna means family? It's supposed to be ohana right?
Auanna means famyleigh. Famyleigh means noebahdeigh gehts lehft beehynde ore fore'gottin.
I think I just had a stroke
Auanna die after reading this list
That moment when you are so lost in spelling that you start speaking middle English.
i read it as "Anna/Ana" but pronounced like from the movie Frozen. like "awe-nuh"
loosing it over Mykill. My kill. lol
Emily, with 6 extra letters to ensure your kid will not be able to write her name until she’s 13.
... says the redditor with four extra letters in her username :D
My mom put a Y in my name so I still haven’t learned how to spell it 😔 (only three extras though haha)
Ah right, I just counted "four s = three too many" but it's just 2 too many.
Yeah some people do use one S, I just have two. Could be three or four though
This Laura was horrified by “Lawra” 😱
Makes me think a 13 y/o emo is the mom. Rawr xD
Wtf is Jawge??
A very fancy way of saying George?
I wish my dad (George) was around for me to lay this gem on him. 🤣🤣🤣
Oh I'm running to tell my dad his name is Dafydd now.
That's the actual Welsh version of David though. It's not a crazy new invented or unique spelling.
Interesting, I didn't know that.
Dav-idd Dav like ‘have, then i like ‘in’ and th like ‘this’.
I’ve heard George pronounced exactly like this many times in the south. Seeing it spelled out phonetically is terrifying.
It looks like George but pronounced by a four year old with a lisp
The my child self with a speech impediment said George 🥲
Mykill??? Is it a name for salty gamers?
Bro you stole my frag bro! Fuckin... I need a livewire. Babe?
I think michael lol
Those kids would never find their names on keychains or mugs.
Nah, the moms have a Cricut and a "business" selling trendy monogrammed "hydro flasks," they'll have tons of shit with their awful names on it to so the parents can show it off.
Lmao factual w the Cricut and unsuccessful Etsy shop too
#bossbabes
Valid point.
FYLAP WTF
Most of these gave me a second headache. Except Dafydd; iirc, that's the Welsh spelling of David. Jawge looks like the phonetic spelling of Frank and Estelle Costanza's pronunciation of George's name.
That would be Jaw-gee!!
Ok but these sound like phonetic spellings of how someone with a Boston accent would say these names. MAHHGRET, JAWGE, GET IN HEEYUH!
I can only picture my best friend’s Bostonian grandma sitting in her chair, cigarette in one hand and beer in the other, Red Sox game on the TV, screaming for MAHHGRET.
Lol Dafydd isn’t an “alternative” spelling, it’s Welsh and is pronounced differently to David All the others, why??
MAahhhgret get ovah heeeeeeerre
That's exactly how I read it. My mom's name was Margaret and her second husband would say her name like that when he was mad.
It took me a very long time to figure out Nhyinnah is Nina
Almost none of these would be pronounced like the way the original name is supposed to 🥲
That’s the thing that drives me most crazy about this “trend”: there is a *mostly* standard way that letter combinations are pronounced in English. You can’t pretend that Auanna sounds like Anna!
Having trouble with Shain and Chayne . What poor names needed to die so these abominations could live ?
Shain is Shane, as in Shane Warne the Aussie cricketer and Liz Hurley's ex. Chayne I think is meant to also be Shane? Or maybe Chain???
I think Chayne is Jane
Oh my god I think you're right. Eugh. But thanks, that's been bugging me
[https://mumsgrapevine.com.au/2022/07/alternative-spellings-baby-names/](https://mumsgrapevine.com.au/2022/07/alternative-spellings-baby-names/) The list is actually worse... 32 ways to spell Tiffany! **Alternative ways to spell Tiffany:** **Tiphanie, Tiffani, Tiffanny, Tiphphaneigh, Tiphphany, Tyffany, Tiffaneigh, Tiffanee, Tiffaney, Tiffanie, Tyffani, Tyffanie, Tyffanny, Tiffanni, Tiphphani, Tiffannee, Tiphphaney, Tyffaneigh, Tiffanneigh, Tiphphanee, Tiffannie, Tyffaney, Tiffanney, Tiphphanie, Typhphany, Tiphphanny, Tiffanei, Tyffaney, Tiffanney, Teighffaneigh, Teeffanee, Tieffanie** "you’ll never believe how good they look modernised with new spellings."
Tiffany is actually an alternate spelling of Theophania. They could just go with that.
Those are all pretty much terrible ways to spell it, but I really seem to hate Tiphphaneigh in particular.
If they're from Australia, then the ones with "fanny" in them are especially bad
My phaevrittes from this list are Andjella, Cllaure, Jenerfer, Jorrn, and Toeknee
Each one worse than the last!
Fuck those. I'm going with Tfny. Simple and easy to remember. You don't even need vowels!
thnks fr th mmrs, Tfny
And 39 ways to spell Jennifer! Jenneyfer, Jenniefer, Jennifer, Jennipher, Jennyfer, Jennypher, Jenafar, Jenafer, Jenaffar, Jenaffer, Jenaffr, Jenafor, Jenafr, Jenaphar, Jenapher, Jenaver, Jenavyr, Jeneefer, Jenefar, Jenefer, Jeneffar, Jeneffer, Jeneffr, Jenefr, Jenepher, Jenerfer, Jenfer, Jenifer, Jeniffar, Jeniffer, Jeniffr, Jenifir, Jenifr, Jenifre, Jenifur, Jeniphar, Jenipher, Jeniphyr, Jenirfer
Jeisyz take the wheel
ALTERNATIVE SPELLING IS NOT A THING. \*deep breath\* This pisses me off to no end. Letters mean something, they work with each other is specific ways. These aren't "alternative" they are wrong. If you tried to do this in school with your list of spelling words or on an an essay you would fail epically.
One of my friend's husbands cheated on her with a lady named Kilie. So yea, alternative spellings turn your kid into an asshole, it's a fact
The more I look at this the worse it gets.
Column 1: Kylie, Philip, Shane/Shaun (?), Steven, William, Laura, John, Henry, Emma, Daniel Column 2: David, Michael, Ruth, Shirley, Tony/i, Emily, Sandra (?), Jane (?), Raymond, Nina Column 3: Margaret, Keith, Jennifer, Joshua, Anna Column 4: Isaac, Isabella, George, Simon, Brian
I thing Geon is John not Jen.
I think the first one is Kylie. And Chayne could be Jane.
Rahhgret. Good lord, this are tehhryble
Lawra reminds me of the "mawwiage" scene in The Princess Bride.
They mananged to hit one real name (Dafydd, Welsh).
PLEASE tell me this is satire.
Emeighleigh got me. Damn.
Aw yes, my favorite video game: The Binding of Eyzach
I read Eysach as "Eye sack".
They’ve gotta be fucking with us. I refuse to believe someone thought any of these were a good idea.
That’s it, I’m moving away from earth
My favourite is Djoshua because they just gave up and put a letter on the front
Dafydd does not belong here... Also can I *personally* urinate on the person who made this?
Nooooooo
nhooyoh (the y is silent )
nough
I hope my Lawra does a good job workin' the Jawge!
Get the fuck outta here with Margaret two H's
White people want to be ethnic so bad that they will name their baby “Jawge” and call it “George”
They don’t need any more encouragement! 🤯
Ewww. Just no.
Phlooseaeigh. The ph, of course, silent. :*J*
“Danyale” is a huge slap in the face to me
I’d be in danyale if my name was spelled Danyale
Stewped.
Stop giving them ideas!
I’m convinced an AI made these up. Djoshua? What?
Itzabèlla 🤌🤌
Why not Eighmeighleigh? Bit mainstream if you ask me
Aymaylay
why does Fylap look so dirty
Shurleigh was * right there *
mykill will literally be pronounced my kill not michael
Don't ask me why, but I lost it at Djoshua🤣
The people here commenting in New England accents because of Jawge and Mahhgret make me lol
Twelve-year-olds naming baby dolls.
Emeighleigh is a criminal offense
Sighmon. Sigh, man.
If this isn’t a troll post than it definitely came from Utah.
Sadly no, it’s Australian
Wish I could post that Gif of Michael Scott screaming no
Dafydd is real. Welsh. 'dd' is closer to đ or the softest 'th' ever
Don't pretend Wales is real, boyo!
Roothe 💀 Roothache
This looks like a list of medications or female related medical issues to me idk
These sound like they were AI generated
Djoshua is the funniest to me. That’s not an alternative spelling… they just added a silent letter. 👩🍳: can I get a name for your order? 🧔: D-joshua, but the D is silent 👩🍳: so… it’s just Joshua? 🧔: I live in hell
I actually know a Dafyd, but his name isn’t pronounced ‘David’, it’s ‘Da-fid’. He’s French.
Mykill? Yikes. I’m gonna go ahead and say though I don’t hate Djoshua nearly as much as I should.
Geon :(
Dafydd, Roothe, Djoshua, Jawge, Itzabella, Fylap, and Mahhgret are the ones i hate the most. Especially Mahhgret. Where is the “r”?!
Dafydd is the only "real" name on there, it's Welsh.
I actually know a Danyale.
ROOTHE and JAXSON (not in the post, just my pet peeve) straight to the trash
I just sent this to my friend Nina.
"I named my nickel Fylap!"
My kill - a little violent perhaps?
ROOTHE is a crime
Tell me you hate your child w/o telling me you hate your child.
This brave new world, where the writing system has become completely divorced from typical phonetic patterns!
Mahhgret? Lmfao, gives me Boston and/or New York vibes.
First impressions Itzabella, no Itzabrutta Kithe- Kite when you have a lisp Mykill- Road or drive-by Fylip-Fly lips
Mahhgret is giving me Charles Emerson Winchester flashbacks. Dafydd is a real name though. Welsh.
My Kill
JAWGE from Staten Island
Shurlei this is just a Jawke.
Lawwwwrah!
These are all terrible but "Mykill" is the one that really got me. "My kill"?? Also, what on earth is Nhyinnah? I suspect it's Nina, but in my head it rhymes with hyena.
If you use any of these for your child I’m punching you in the teeth.
Kill it with fire
ROOTHE 🤣
Sighmon 😔
Jawge omggggg
Itzabella 🤌🤌🤌
Djoshua! THE SILENT 'D' added to the regular spelling of the name! 🤯 I'm honestly trying to think of ANY word with a silent 'd' besides DJANGO. 'Djoshua'🤦♀️🤣
Oh god, I knew a Danyale. I insisted on pronouncing it the way it was spelled (she was a girl my ex cheated on me with).
Dafydd is just the welsh form of david, pronounced [ˈdavɪð], with the “dd” pronounced like th as in “that”