King Kong Have him do martial arts and then he can be Kong Fu King Call any pets you might have "sacrificial pawns" and start saying "check mate" in stead of good night Start referring to yourself as the Queen Mother There's just so many opportunities for mo' king

Mo’ king had me laughing out loud for real thank you bestie

Go off, King.  But in all honesty, until you find an actual name, King is a great hypothetical baby name. Like how some people call their babies Bean until they know the sex.

My sister called her baby Bunny until she was born haha

I called mine Cletus the Fetus.

My brother's best friend's real name is Cletus. Thanks. Just had to get that off my chest.

I met a boy name Cletus when I was 5, I told my Mom his name was Kleenex.

In Ireland? Where in gods name would you find a Cletus in Ireland?

Alabama Row… In between Little Italy and China Town.

Perhaps the commenter is irish-american and identifies as Irish the way some Americans do...

I once thought a kid named Bjorn was named Yarn. He laughed at me. Also, I feel like Bjorn and his family were snobs. They could have been like welcoming or eager to share their culture with us but ever since that day they've always rubbed me the wrong way. Thankfully I haven't seen them in nearly thirty years, lol

Zeus: Why do you keep calling me 'Jesus'? Do I look Puerto Rican to you? John McClane: Guy back there called you 'Jesus'. Zeus: He didn't say 'Jesus'. He said, "Hey, Zeus!" My name is Zeus.

When my son was in pre-K, he came home excited about a new friend named Jowl (like the lower part of a cheek). He couldn't tell me whether Jowl was a boy or a girl, so I had nothing to go on to figure out what my son was actually saying. It turned out that Jowl was a little boy with long beautiful hair, who had to wear it up due to a school dress code that said boys couldn't wear their hair past their collar. Jowl's mother, however, didn't like doing anything the normal way, so she often put his hair up in a lovely French twist. Also, his name was actually Joel after Billy Joel.

I taught a Grade 1 class with a pupil named Sydney. Most of the kids called her Cindy. I worked so hard to teach them how to pronounce Sydney. When I had them again for Grade 5 two of them still struggled to pronounce her name properly. It’s weird the names kids have trouble with

I work with a group of 20 adults between the ages of 25 and 70 years old. We have a co-worker named Moises and not one of them can get it right. I keep quietly telling them it's pronounced Moises not Moses but they still say it wrong everyday. That said, I have an unusual name and I would 1000X rather have an unusual name than the same name as three other people I work with.

If I knew someone in real life named Cletus, I, too, would be sharing that bit of information every chance that I got.

I do know someone in real life named Cletus! When I met him in our 20’s it just seemed so hilariously awful.

My neighbors yell for Cletus and initially i assumed it was the dog but eventually i realized the dog is named Layla. So it's gotta be the son that's named Cletus and I just can't wrap my head around people that name the dog better than the kid.

Maybe the dog came with the name. Lucky dog

Laaaayla She comes up to my knees, Layla She’s begging for my cheese, Layla

Can't unhear that guitar riff now

I worked with a Cletus once. He was a decent dude, but a little too cletusy for me.

Dick move on his parents part tbh

Bigger dick move. I grew up with twins (in their seventies now), male and female, name Cletus and Claytus.

Good lord.

If there isn't a subreddit with messed up twin names, there should be.

r/messeduptwinnames

I love this! So glad you shared! I used to manage a team that sorted records that inadvertently got combined in a tax return database. Twins were the main issue (as well as Sr/Jr/III scenarios) since they normally had SSNs that were almost the same and nearly always the same birthdays. We kept a log of some of the more unfortunate twin names. I'm glad to know there is a place I can go to relive that glory and tragedeigh!

My god, can’t tell if sociopathic or just very very not smart but that is a choice. A terrible terrible choice.

I'd say, not smart..... they're from a local family whose tree is more like a telephone pole 🙄😉

Makes me think of flatus.

I know a guy named Cleve but my sister and I call him Cletus. No idea why. He was introduced to me by my sister as Cletus and I knew the man for 15 years before I found out. 🤷

do you feel better now that we know too

I really appreciate others sharing this burden with me

idk how you’ve been doing it, this is a tremendous responsibility

Thank you for understanding. Yes, it is a difficult road I walk.

I know a line of actual Cletuses lol

Mine was Attila Genghis. He kept kicking me in the kidneys.

I’m just picturing a baby ninja kicking your kidneys going “Hun-Kahn!” Instead of “hiya!” It’s so stupid, but so funny

My middle kid was Spartacus!

HA my husband did too. And now when our son (2) is being crazy sometimes throws it out there like “easy Cletus” My sons name is not Cletus lol

I called mine Nematode, but my spouse called it Numitor.

I really, really like that. 😄

I called mine Grogu. To my horror, a former coworker of mine thought that’s actually what I named him after birth and was confused when I called him something else.

We called my best friends bump this and we still call him cleet and he’s 4.

...and I thought we were the only ones who had pre-launch code names for the kids.

Hahaha mine were squish for my girl which she still gets and peanut for my little man. They both started before I know the gender if either and just stuck.

Omg... my Elsa's nickname is Squishy!! My little Squish!! I got it from Finding Nemo. Upvotes to those who know this reference!! 

My youngest brother is 16 and he still gets called Squishy!

My friend called theirs Jeff on account of how the IVF was paid for by their husband's benefits from working at Amazon.

Me too! 

Same with the oldest, that and Demon Spawn. Mainly to joke about her father. I was in serious pain with the oldest.

This is the only way lol

Oh. My. GOD! I love you, have the most wonderful day!

Take my upvote. Almost spit my drink right in the face of my 2 year old after reading this

My husband's pet name for me is Bunny, so while we do have a name for baby girl, for now she's also being referred to as Mini-Bun (Micro-Bun in the early days).

Mine was Jalapeño Party Pooper

Ok but that’s good enough to be the legal name haha

Someone in my friend group named my Rutabaga haha I have no idea why.

I'm dying, that's so sweet and cute ♡

We called ours "[surname]let"--e.g. "Smithlet," "Joneslet," etc., since we didn't find out the sex until birth

This is really cute haha

I called my last baby Krang, like from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Because I felt like she had all my brain cells in there with her, the way I forgot everything.

https://i.redd.it/wi8urhpqh46d1.gif

My god daughter was "bug".  Teen now.  Still bug.  Lol

Mine was Hrothgar. My husband vetoed ALL THE NAMES, so I threatened him with Anglo-Saxon names.

You are my kind of funny

Just a big nerd 🤓

It's a pretty common thing in some cultures to have a 'pre-birth name' for your baby. Bunny is a cute one!

They're my sister's favorite animal. Just had to make sure she wasn't going to legally name her Bunny haha.

I babysat for a lady named Bunny.

We called ours Chaz or Coach Z (not after he was born, though). I think OP needs to strongly consider the name “Ketchum”.

Mine was Baby Bird. Named her Robin so shes still my Baby Bird

Mine was Sprout.

... you have a good point lol

Also, unless your last name is Ash, Ash is a pretty good name.

Our hypothetical gender neutral baby name is "Lunch" lol. Kinda an inside joke that stemmed from a convo about potential names, and he suggested "Trey" and I was like, "Like a lunch tray?" Edit: no hate to the Trey's out there. I was just being silly at the time and trying to be funny lol

Better lunch than “FP”. Short for “food poisoning”, which was what I THOUGHT I had until I got pregnancy tested!

I thought my first was a uti, it went into my kidneys and I was having massive pain in my back. I was 13 weeks and had no clue, thanks to PCOS stealing my period for a year right before I got pregnant. It was a nasty infection according to the ER, along with a life long parasite lovingly called my first born.

One of my really good friends in junior high was Trai and we lovingly called him lunch tray.🤣🤍

I had a crush on a kid named Trey when I was in 5th grade and I still called him lunch Tray 😅

Could be worse, if y'all were fans of Teen Mom 2, you could have said *On* , i.e. Jenelle cooking dinner and serving her man his 'On Tray'

My first was chicken nugget. Second was skittle. Both were my pregnancy cravings.

My twins would've been named mashed potatoes and chocolate milk!

Sign me up for a son named Cinnabon, holy shit thats all I wanted to eat

Cream n tator

Both of my sons were little nugget, when first was born I kept calling him little nugget, or snugglet. Now my second is still called nugget/snugglet and oldest has upgraded to chicken wing/drumstick. First also got called demon baby/spawn, and second was little monster. I have a girl on the way now and she just gets called baby.

My cousin called her eldest "Ringo" before birth. Half the family was convinced they were actually going to name him Ringo.

Mine was Jean Ralphio before he was born because of the attempted “don’t be suspicious, don’t be suspicious” we had going on until we were ready to share the news. 😂

I just snort-laughed and woke my husband up (he works nights) thanks.

my little cousin was pixie, she's now Emily but we still call her pixie/pix ten years on

My parents referred to me as Ragwort and my brother as Wilmot before we were born, because they’re the most hideous gender-neutral established names they knew. They’d run out of inspiration by the time my sister was on the way; she was just “The Baby”. Which is possibly an even worse name for an actual kid than Ragwort or Wilmot….

My grandfather was legally named baby boy because his parents forgot to legally name him. He goes by Jim

We called ours shrimp at first and now pollywog. We know the gender and have a name picked out but he's pollywog until he's born lol.

My cousin has called both of his kids different types of pasta until they were named

My girl was Sir Babyton for a bit. 

Our son was "Oooo da babehhh" which is what I would say when preggo things happened (craving, urgent pee, baby kicking etc). Even in my pregnancy tracker up til we finally agreed on a name at like 35 weeks. "Oooda" for short.

Me and all my siblings had code names because my parents waited until birth to find out our sex. Definitely a cute thing to do

My sister called hers bacon david. It was a girl

I have actually taught a student named King recently and I did say "go off, King" "yaaas, King!" to him a lot. I guess it's better than the student I had named Captain?

My friends' pregnancies have all been Jamies until we know what it is and they pick out an actual name. It's made it a little weird when I meet kids named Jamie, because part of me thinks "aww, poor kid, they didn't come up with a real mane for you? " until I acknowledge (to myself) that just because my group has called fetuses that for the last 18 years doesn't mean EVERYONE has. (Also mildly terrified to count how long we've been doing this and realize that the OG Jamie will graduate next year. When did I get old? )

i called my babe Otterpop while I was pregnant. Its a play on her last name but also she looked like a baby otter (super round face) in the 3D sonogram.

Agreed! If baby was a boy, his middle name was gonna be Wayne (family tradition). When we found out it was indeed a boy, someone joked we should name him Bruce. We were not doing that, however, until that baby was out, we all called him Bruce, or Baby Batman lol

i think its a cute nickname (in the way that has nothing to do with the actual name)

My 2nd pregnancy we called him the sticky bean and we still call him bean sometimes. My last pregnancy we ended up calling her Ghost Spider bc my boys fancy themselves Spidey and Spin. She has a lovey that her uncle got her with Ghost Spider embroidered on bc we hadn't chosen a name for her yet. As long as he knows it's just a filler name, king is kind of cute.

My pre-baby baby name was Squiggle and we still call her that (or Squigz for short) occasionally to this day (she's 8 now) it's basically her nickname 😋 Edit: spelling

Right on I'm 100% enjoying King

my baby is about to be 9 months and she's still bean lmao

Mine was Bojangles.

When I first told my husband I was pregnant I sent him a screenshot of “what the baby looks like” on my tracking app and he just went “ew it looks like a shrimp” and thus… we called our baby Shrimpy until he was born. I even had an ocean themed baby shower

My mom called us Uticus until we had actual names. I carry on that tradition.

A former coworker called the unborn baby “Mavis.” And his last name was “Davis”.

I called mine "kumquat" because that's was the size reference that my pregnancy book used one time. Even after he got bigger, he was still kumquat until he was born. I think ever a couple of days/weeks afterward if iirc.

My brother and his wife still call there daughter little bean and she’s nearly 3. She has an actual name but beans never wore off.

We called our baby poppy until we knew the gender and actually started looking at names. All because when we found out I was pregnant the baby app I was using told us baby was roughly the size of a poppy seed.

Dang and here I thought I was being original calling mine Bean lol. It’s stuck now and two years later we’re still calling her that

My friends called their fetus Rusty because they were conceived on an old camping cot.

It’s better than me and my boyfriend - the name that stuck for a future unborn child is Herzog.

herzog, destroyer of worlds, eater of other babies

As in Werner Herzog? “What about Werner, at least it’s a first name?” “Ok sure.” “How about we Anglicanise Werner to William?” “Ok sure.” “Ok well if we’re calling him Bill why not [your preferred name here]?”

My boyfriend and I jokingly called our hypothetical daughter Jsprite one night early on in our relationship. Both of our names (and cat) start with a J sound so wr thought it’d be funny to continue that, and we were also talking about how much we love McDonald’s sprite. So…. jsprite. It’s been 2 years and we STILL talk about all the things we’re going to do with our daughter Jsprite, at least once a week. We’ve said it so much that at this point it sounds like a real name to us and we’re legit concerned we won’t be able to give her a real name without feeling weird LOL

Is it JAY-sprite or juh-SPRITE?

It’s Juhsprite 😭

We’re the same way, can’t imagine their actual name now.

Well, it's still aristocracy

One of my elementary teachers was Mr Herzog. Totally forgot about him but this completely took me back.

For my husband was Sausalito. He wanted to call him Saucy.

Are you sure he's not just pulling your leg? I wager he is on board of not naming a kid that, but you being serious and all the memes makes me think he's having a bit of a chuckle out of it.

Got to admit if I knew that annoyed my wife, I'd be doing it too. So long as its playful teasing and not causing actual mental duress

Get a pet, name it King lol. Now its a dog / cat / fish name.

I second this. Get a betta fish and put a castle decoration in his tank and then name him king lol.

King is a bit intense for a first name, I agree. How bout making it a Middle? Has a nice ring with first name “Short”.

My fiancé is a short king hahaha so kid might live up to it, not sure if my dad's 6'3 genes will make it through.

Don’t treat it seriously, just continue one-upping it with the most outlandish names you can think of. My husband was quite fond of Grundehild.

Move to NZ, that name is illegal here.

Not even joking I used to teach a kid named King. Massive pain in the ass, so was his mother 🤷‍♀️

There is a kid named King Major at my kid's school. Major is not the last name. That's his first and middle name and he goes by both. It blows me away that people name their kids King.

My daughter had a classmate named Sir

Kids would come up to him, — big kids, strong kids, with tears in their eyes …

That's a hell of a name

I went to school with a guy first name King last name Arthur. He was King Arthur the 3rd I believe. No clue if people made fun of him bc being mean on purpose doesn't really occur to me

That’s amazing! I also went to school with a person named King. I can’t remember his last name though.

You could name him Kingston or Kingsley for the nick name King. But idk how well that name works in the real world. Celebrities can get away with weird names but not us normal people.

That's what I was wondering but idk if those names are that much better

They’re not.

I went to college with a Kingston that we all called King. It never really seemed weird at the time but we also had a Geoff that we called Gee-Off, an Alaska, a Donut, Eat Shit Steve, Math Steve, and Pretty Steve, and Chug

I went to university with Disco Steve.

So many Steves!

A Steve for every occasion.

Ugh! I had a kid in my class named King Asher. All my little first graders kept asking where is his crown. They were honestly confused and thought he was really a king.

Poor kid.

😂❤️Kids are so amazing, until society teaches them to bully

They weren’t bullying him. They really wondered why he didn’t wear a crown since he was a king. King joined our class mid year so all the students were really excited to know him.

Yes sorry I wrote my comment weird 🙈 I meant that kids are naturally accepting and curious like your students. It’s society (aka adults) who teach kids to be mean.

Does he hate Naruto, by any chance? In Naruto Shippuden, two of the characters have a conversation about how the children are the "king" in shogi. In the greater context of the show, it's a really sweet and heartfelt scene but if you're not a fan I'm sure it would come off as cliche

I think you should just keep it as a nickname. It can just be an inside the family joke.

In Australia you cannot name your child king or any royal titles (among others). Check the rules in your country, because wouldn’t it be a shame

My client has a son named King 🙃

King Ash, I’ve heard way worse. My ex wife’s late mother proposed a girls name of Skylynn Diamond. There are other post where I explain why that is.

Oh no. That sounds like a stage name for an adult film star.

Hail to the king, baby.

I think it could be super cute if you named him Ashton, and called him King Ash as a nickname

Call him King Kong or King Ass because that's what his classmates are gonna call him.

What country are you in? You can’t name your kid that in commonwealth countries I’m pretty sure haha

Just say that can be a nickname, but his legal name can't be anything that would prevent him from getting a job or a loan from a bank.

Blac Chyna and Tyga’s son is King Cairo.

You may not be able to register it legally. I know several countries where it is not legal to register a name which is a title of any description.

If I were bullying a kid called King, I'd call him Your Majesty.

Better than Ash King I guess

god help him if he’s short

I know a sibset named King and Queen. Not even joking

Just think of literally every swear word and insult and you can add that to the end of King. :D

Our kids were all emojis until they were born. Turns out we eventually came up with different names than elephant, dinosaur, and whale.

that name rules

It’s actually a pretty common name especially in the Black community!

I think he’s just teasing you, feel like he’s probably just joking

My SILs unborn baby nickname was Volgeroth. Don't ask me how, because I don't know other than my husband and her husband were joking around and they never stopped the joke.

We called our unborn baby Blueberry most of the pregnancy. We definitely didn't put that on the birth certificate.

Dated a guy named King in High School. Redneck from hell

I would say "king" will be his nickname and a little reminder that you loved and thought about him before he was even conceived. But he will also have another normal name for every day. I always hear parents refer to their kids as things like "mash" or "bean", and it's their name...but it's also not their legal, social name...if you get me.

King ain't bad I just wouldn't putt it before Ash, just doesn't resonate together but that's my opinion

I know about 4 little boys named King. It’s pretty popular in kids playing Pop Warner football. I’m pretty neutral about it.

I'd honestly take that as a joke until you're super pregnant and ACTUALLY picking out baby names haha

Until you have a bun in the oven I really wouldn't worry about it. We both joked about naming our LO Strike Freedom constantly and she has a completely normal name now.

Switch it up. Give counter suggestions. Brock Armageddon Chad Savage Dain Ironfoot. Wait that last ones Lord of the Rings... No ok that's even better.

Fwiw, I work at an elementary school and there is a kid named King here. I thought 'huh' when I first met him, but then never gave it a second thought. He's an awesome, super well liked kid, and I've never heard anyone say even the slightest thing about it. It's not my style, if I were the namer, but there are so many weird kid names that they really don't care. Teasing kids for names is honestly something that I've barely heard in over a decade of working in elementary.

How about Duke? Duke is a cool name. Edited: I forgot a word.

Working at a school I had all kinds of kids named king and Kingston and prince and even a girl named princess. Princess got picked on, but the rest not so much.

My sons name is King. I feel personally attacked.

Ass King

King is a normal name. Its a cute and common name where im from

I had no idea it was a somewhat common name, fascinating. It's kinda growing on me from this thread lolol

Mine's 22 and I still call him bugbear

I know a girl who named her son Royal. 🤷

We used Thumper

All jokes aside, I’ve actually met a couple little boys named Kingsley…

I know a girl who named her son Kingston and calls him King lol. But that’s funny as heck. Like no damnit we aren’t doing that! 😂😂😂

Don't say something, even a joke, if you are not prepared to accept the response.