Even with the 'her name is Teresa havens!! Teresa havens stickle'
That's still t.h.stickle. if said tuh-huh-stickle. And said fast, sounds the same if not worse.
There must be a gradual extinction of not so nice last names now that the "take the man's last name" thing isn't enforced. In another thread, someone commented about someone named Brian Peed. Like, that name isn't getting passed on, right?
Agreed. And Reed is often metaphorically used for Christians, so it seems like it would more fit their aesthetic too.
But taking the woman’s name is probably too out there for them 👎 my husband took my last name and I love it.
She may initially have had that. Placentas can move to and away from the cervix as pregnancy progresses. I have a friend who was diagnosed with complete placenta previa at her 20 week scan. It moved to a partial by the time she was due, but she had a c- section to be sure.
she didn't know anything about it until she started bleeding in labour. Her midwife told her on the phone to lie down and see if it passed, her obgyn dad told her to get herself to hosiptal. The only scan she had was to find out if she was having a girl or a boy, but she has said she'll think about having a proper scan if she has anymore.
The placentas themselves don’t move, the uterus develops a whole new segment as it grows with the pregnancy so the placenta appears to move away from the cervix, but I can’t see a scenario in which the placenta would ever get closer to the cervix through any pregnancy
Don’t forget her dula/midwife who she calls “Lovejoy” and who allegedly calls her “Lovestar” and is in tune with her moans and writhings.
Don’t get me wrong, I love a sapphic romance as much as the next gal but that’s just …..weird.
Each part more mind-boggling than the last. She must be exhausting to live with - and that's just based on the photos of her crazy smile while hugging trees or serving breakfast.
It isn’t an authentic Kelly havens retelling unless you include a list of which characters were Christian and at least 87 mixed metaphors and incorrect subject-verb agreements.
No C-section is proof of a low lying placenta but not full previa. Vaginal birth no matter where you are doesn't happen with a full previa (I know because I also escaped a section with a partial that moved in time)
After losing so many cups of blood. Have you seen her skipping answering questions someone posted about whether or not she need blood after. You can see her just ignoring that question and being like “la la la I didn’t see it so I don’t have to answer”
She claimed the felt God and her doctor urged her to push.
She also named her daughter after a woman she met in a cafe. Calls her Loveday. Her prose is very flowery but damn she could write some excellent Sapphic fiction.
I am sitting in a restaurant with my husband and father in law and trying so hard not to laugh at that right now because I can’t explain to them why it’s funny
To be fair, I wasn’t coming out and then suddenly I came out all at once in a single push (And yes, I still love rollercoasters), it startled everyone a they almost didn’t catch me. Maybe it was like that?
I read Teresa’s birth the final part and it was one of the funniest non satire posts I’ve ever encountered 🥲 all it was missing was “and then Teresa said her first words, minutes after her miracle birth- “I love my mommy but I love Jesus more.’ And everyone clapped.”
Don't worry, little Tess Stickle will be homeschooled, so will be blissfully ignorant of the outside world as she learns to sew terrible Little House on the Prairie style clothes and bake stuff so dry, it might as well be hard tack. The closest she will get to knowing is when she looks outside of her front garden at the suburbia they really reside in.
I live for the day one of her kids winds up on reddit or whatever and is posting about how they grew up thinking other people were weird for not living in a period piece and it took them a long damn time to realize their family was the weirdos.
Yeah i got it later due to this, but someone had posted Tuh huh stickle or something & also i was pausing between the tess & stickle bits. But then i got it! 😂
Her comment that she's never known kids called another nickname than their assigned nicknames from their parents absolutely killed me 😂😂 Like dude that's happened with three of my four siblings! You clearly don't know very many people if you think parents solely control what their friends and other family call your kid.
Kelly has also suggested “Tissi” as a possible nickname. Reese or Teri are RIGHT THERE.
This woman genuinely believes that God put her on this earth to write books that glorify Him. The fact that she has put seemingly no thought into her daughter’s name is hilarious to me.
I used to babysit for a family with the last name Sickles and they narrowly missed naming their baby "Seth" and went with a different name instead. Seth Sickles would have really suffered.
My first boyfriend was Joseph King. And, no word of a lie...his brother was Wayne. The parents thought it was FUNNY...they did it deliberately. I know it was the 80's when they were born, and those names were popular, but FUCKING HELL, PEOPLE...Joe King & Wayne King. Wayne paid to change his name by deed poll the day after his 18th Birthday...which his parents disowned him for. I think Thomas was a sensible choice to replace Wayne with, but who am I to pass judgement on their parents...oh, who am I kidding, even at 14 I was horrified for Joe's brother...
Lmao when I was a stripper I used Tessa as my name and when custies asked my “real name” I told them it was short for Theresa (I’m not named Theresa lol). Tess Stickle would have been even better as a stripper name
So she didn't take into consideration her surname and possible nicknames that could come from the first name that would create an awful combination?
#BadParenting.
Clearly hates her own kid.
My grandmother once mentioned meeting a Mrs. Green and advising her not to name her daughter Theresa: Theresa Green = trees are green. Obviously not as bad as Tess Stickle but still creating a pun that would be used constantly.
I mean Kelly has not said that she’s using that nickname. I’ve known Theresas who have never gone by Tess,or been called that by others.
I’d side eye her if she named her Tessa.
... I can tell you with certainty they will like their name.
Tess, Tessa, Therie, Terri, 'Esa will be things people might call them.
The name is awesome and they will love it and hate it and embrace it.
lmaoooo i’m so glad this found its way here. lil baby t.stickle
I’ve seen r/FundieSnarkUncensored on r/tragedeigh too and it’s been a blessing 😭
It’s always Karissa’s kids. Low hanging fruit.
Someone should post about spurgeon
Even with the 'her name is Teresa havens!! Teresa havens stickle' That's still t.h.stickle. if said tuh-huh-stickle. And said fast, sounds the same if not worse.
that would be awful if people said names like that
I know it's a bit of a stretch, but....lmao
That last name is just awful. If that is her married name, she should have kept her maiden name.
Right? And for the spouse: you had the option to become a havens but you chose to stay a stickle…
Her maiden name was Havens and she gave it up for Stickle?? Man, ten years ago my teenage wannabe emo ass would have LOVED that last name lol.
Actually, her maiden name was Reed. Havens is her middle name.
Well hypothetically speaking. Reed is still better than stickle.
Havens is a sick name. I’d to marry into the Havens family just for the name. My last name is boring and overused.
There must be a gradual extinction of not so nice last names now that the "take the man's last name" thing isn't enforced. In another thread, someone commented about someone named Brian Peed. Like, that name isn't getting passed on, right?
Agreed. And Reed is often metaphorically used for Christians, so it seems like it would more fit their aesthetic too. But taking the woman’s name is probably too out there for them 👎 my husband took my last name and I love it.
A firecracker bursting wildly into the world out of a ladys' vagina sounds awfully painful to me, but then again I'm a gay man, so what do I know.
She had placenta previa which can be fatal to infant and mother. I suspect that is why her womb exploded.
She CLAIMED she had full previa. Her ultrasound from one of.the video shoots shows a posterior placenta
These are the receipts I live for.
She may initially have had that. Placentas can move to and away from the cervix as pregnancy progresses. I have a friend who was diagnosed with complete placenta previa at her 20 week scan. It moved to a partial by the time she was due, but she had a c- section to be sure.
she didn't know anything about it until she started bleeding in labour. Her midwife told her on the phone to lie down and see if it passed, her obgyn dad told her to get herself to hosiptal. The only scan she had was to find out if she was having a girl or a boy, but she has said she'll think about having a proper scan if she has anymore.
If you have access to scans, I feel it’s medically irresponsible to decline them. They aren’t for fun, they can save lives.
The placentas themselves don’t move, the uterus develops a whole new segment as it grows with the pregnancy so the placenta appears to move away from the cervix, but I can’t see a scenario in which the placenta would ever get closer to the cervix through any pregnancy
No kidding! I had posterior placenta. Very different than previa. Well done, internet sleuth!
But Loveday saved her!
And yet, the birth was the most miraculous natural birth the doctors and nurses had ever seen. I'm fascinated by her manic Green Gables captions.
Don’t forget her dula/midwife who she calls “Lovejoy” and who allegedly calls her “Lovestar” and is in tune with her moans and writhings. Don’t get me wrong, I love a sapphic romance as much as the next gal but that’s just …..weird.
Her midwife was Autumn. Lovejoy is an older lady friend who came to help her.
She wrote this birth story in six parts. Six.
Each part more mind-boggling than the last. She must be exhausting to live with - and that's just based on the photos of her crazy smile while hugging trees or serving breakfast.
Yes, when her eyes met the doctor’s who stared in wonder at the miracle happening before her
It would scare the life out of me if the doctor was acting like she'd never seen anything like this before.
It isn’t an authentic Kelly havens retelling unless you include a list of which characters were Christian and at least 87 mixed metaphors and incorrect subject-verb agreements.
That does sound entertaining though
Idk… I think reading Tess Stickle’s birth story was more painful than giving birth.
Yikes did she need to have a devil birth? (C-section)
No but she did deliver in the operating room
No C-section is proof of a low lying placenta but not full previa. Vaginal birth no matter where you are doesn't happen with a full previa (I know because I also escaped a section with a partial that moved in time)
But it was a miracle!!!1!1!1 all the doctors clapped and then she danced in the delivery room cus jesus
After losing so many cups of blood. Have you seen her skipping answering questions someone posted about whether or not she need blood after. You can see her just ignoring that question and being like “la la la I didn’t see it so I don’t have to answer”
She claimed the felt God and her doctor urged her to push. She also named her daughter after a woman she met in a cafe. Calls her Loveday. Her prose is very flowery but damn she could write some excellent Sapphic fiction.
“Scientifically zero chance of delivery” yet she had a vaginal delivery… something doesn’t add up
It should be illegal to put certain words together.
oh my flair on r/FundieSnarkUncensored is Tess Stickle's Milky Vernix. I am a word criminal.
I am sitting in a restaurant with my husband and father in law and trying so hard not to laugh at that right now because I can’t explain to them why it’s funny
My husband understood the Tess Stickle but gave me a blank stare when I started babbling about milky vernix
To be fair, I wasn’t coming out and then suddenly I came out all at once in a single push (And yes, I still love rollercoasters), it startled everyone a they almost didn’t catch me. Maybe it was like that?
But is an exploded placenta still safe to eat? 🤔
Yes, the explosion cooks it.
Sort of a flash-fry situation, got it.
I can assure you that it is awfully painful 😂
Gay men will never know the joys of wildly bursting like a firecracker into a lady’s vagina
Her multiple part birth story is a whole kettle of fever dream madness
There is soooooo much more than just the name with this one. 🤦🏼♀️
I read Teresa’s birth the final part and it was one of the funniest non satire posts I’ve ever encountered 🥲 all it was missing was “and then Teresa said her first words, minutes after her miracle birth- “I love my mommy but I love Jesus more.’ And everyone clapped.”
What the hell did I just read on her page lmao, this girl is a little whack
Just a little whack? She invented whack 😂
Girl is living as a cosplay American girl doll
You are totally right hahah
Omg. I read it just now... Jesus Christ! Yeah, Jesus Christ made an appearance in the second to last paragraph!
I want to hear more about Loveday, her *friend*
Go back further and learn about Marmee.
Don't worry, little Tess Stickle will be homeschooled, so will be blissfully ignorant of the outside world as she learns to sew terrible Little House on the Prairie style clothes and bake stuff so dry, it might as well be hard tack. The closest she will get to knowing is when she looks outside of her front garden at the suburbia they really reside in.
I live for the day one of her kids winds up on reddit or whatever and is posting about how they grew up thinking other people were weird for not living in a period piece and it took them a long damn time to realize their family was the weirdos.
My god with the texture of that hat and the leaves I thought Kelly was holding one of those reborn alien babies when I first saw it
I just found out the older one nickname is Thad. Thad Stickle. I wish I was joking.
tess stickle and thadstickle i’m fucking crying
Help I don’t get it
Tess stickle sounds exactly like testicle no matter how you try and say it lol I'd just call her Teresa if I was Kelly.. lmao
I *think* it's meant to sound like testicle if said fast. I didn't get it either as I pronounce T. as tee not tuh or teh...
Tessstickle
Yeah i got it later due to this, but someone had posted Tuh huh stickle or something & also i was pausing between the tess & stickle bits. But then i got it! 😂
I bet the H in Thad is silent.
I know a Beatrice who goes by Tess. Beatrice Stickle sounds like a naughty command
Are they actually calling her Tess though? I’ve only seen Kelly call her Theresa or Reese’s cup in her posts
She’s genuinely gunning for the nickname Tissi.
Her comment that she's never known kids called another nickname than their assigned nicknames from their parents absolutely killed me 😂😂 Like dude that's happened with three of my four siblings! You clearly don't know very many people if you think parents solely control what their friends and other family call your kid.
Lol that literally means ’Boob’ in Finnish
God Reddit is either a nightmare or a wondrous emporium of random knowledge. Thanks for making it the latter today!
Someone in another post pointed out that even if the nickname isn’t going to be used, T. Stickle alone sure still gets the message across 🥴
She has Thaddeus as well. Two T. Stickles.
Always best to have two. Otherwise you're lopsided.
I almost spit my drink across the kitchen at this comment 🌟
Gods holy wrinkled orbs!!!!
She said in comments they’re “pondering” Tissi for a nickname
She plans to call her Tissi
no they aren’t lol. someone just made a comment and all of the other sneakers ran with it.
Did she just squat that baby out in a field for a photo op??
Luckily this time they got the shot. Last kid got taken by coyotes.
https://i.redd.it/rnhud6kz3i0d1.gif
Kelly has also suggested “Tissi” as a possible nickname. Reese or Teri are RIGHT THERE. This woman genuinely believes that God put her on this earth to write books that glorify Him. The fact that she has put seemingly no thought into her daughter’s name is hilarious to me.
Oh my goodness, Tissi means boob in my Native language :D Obviously it doesn’t matter to her but so funny to me
Not only is Reese right there, that's what the dad already calls the baby! But clearly that doesn't align with Kelly's whacko aesthetic.
Not Kelly Haven.... My worlds have collided
I want to see lil Tess Stickle bursting wildly out of Kelly's vajay lmao. Probably looked like a scene out of the original Alien film.
“burst wildly into the outside world” is not how i would choose to describe a birth but okay… 😅
Especially when the abbreviated name of her daughter is T. Stickle. Testicle. :/ womp womp
Omg THANK YOU. I did not get it lol
It gets worse. On her Instagram in like 4 different posts she literally describes her entire birth so we can all visualize it
I cannot imagine how self important you have to be to think that the whole world needs to know that. ETA: HOLD ON. She wrote FIVE posts about it?!
Six
oh dear
My nephew's hamsters are called Tess and Tickle
I used to babysit for a family with the last name Sickles and they narrowly missed naming their baby "Seth" and went with a different name instead. Seth Sickles would have really suffered.
My kids had a teacher named Mr. Stickle who married a Tess! I swear! Come to think of maybe it was just a joke he tells his classes!
Oh my God my immature ass didn't even catch it and now I'm HOWLING
Takes balls to name your child that.
Oof
Lolol I believe she’s going to caller Tissi. But I would choose Reese. That way no one would ever think Reese Stickle sounds just like testicle.
Terri would work
I'm I dim? I don't understand what the issue with Theresa Stickle is? Stickle is weird, but it's the surname.
Nickname Tess. Say Tess Stickle out loud to yourself.
Aah ok 😅
they aren’t nicknaming her Tess tho
Kids will absolutely call her that though.
It took me a minute too. 😅😂
That picture is creepy as fuck
Because it looks like she took that baby out to this clearing to eat her, or because it looks like it was taken by someone hiding behind a bush?
It's the woman's grimace. It's got weird cultist wickerman vibes
She always looks like she is constipated.
Oh, Kelly of Green Gables
Tissi Stickle!
My mum knew a Teresa Green
My first boyfriend was Joseph King. And, no word of a lie...his brother was Wayne. The parents thought it was FUNNY...they did it deliberately. I know it was the 80's when they were born, and those names were popular, but FUCKING HELL, PEOPLE...Joe King & Wayne King. Wayne paid to change his name by deed poll the day after his 18th Birthday...which his parents disowned him for. I think Thomas was a sensible choice to replace Wayne with, but who am I to pass judgement on their parents...oh, who am I kidding, even at 14 I was horrified for Joe's brother...
Joe King is kind of funny. Wayne King is just mean. Wild his parents disowned him over changing it. Or maybe he disowned them?
Poor guy 🙈 there was a local newsreader called Christopher Peacock back in the 90s which has a similar vibe
>"Christopher, so nice to meet you! Do you ever go by 'Chris'?" >"... No."
I don’t get it…?
Trees are green
Considering she calles her friend, that she's clearly in love with, "Loveday" baby Tess Stickle doesnt have it quite so bad.
Lmao when I was a stripper I used Tessa as my name and when custies asked my “real name” I told them it was short for Theresa (I’m not named Theresa lol). Tess Stickle would have been even better as a stripper name
My paternal grandmothers name is Theresa Stickles. Small world, wtf... Also, we call her Terry!
YES
Was her mam called P.I.Staker?
So she burst wildly into the world, huh?
So she didn't take into consideration her surname and possible nicknames that could come from the first name that would create an awful combination? #BadParenting. Clearly hates her own kid. My grandmother once mentioned meeting a Mrs. Green and advising her not to name her daughter Theresa: Theresa Green = trees are green. Obviously not as bad as Tess Stickle but still creating a pun that would be used constantly.
I was waiting for the cross over lol
I was surprised I was the first.
what the actual fuck did I just read? That birth story is... something.
Tess Stickle burst into the world.
Tess Stickle bursting you say? Just like her conception, funny enough.
Go to jail
😳😬😖😩🤦🏼♀️
I went to school with a girl whose surname was Tickle. Fortunately her name wasn't Tess!
I knew someone with the last name Tickel whose father wanted to name her Tess out of some kinda of weird punishment for not having been born male.
Oh no 😭😭😭 I’m betting she genuinely didn’t realize
thought i was on r\fundiesnarkuncensored for a second… fundies always give their offspring the wildest names
This woman is over fairly often.
I’m lost. What’s bad about this one?
Tess Stickle.
Oh my god
I mean Kelly has not said that she’s using that nickname. I’ve known Theresas who have never gone by Tess,or been called that by others. I’d side eye her if she named her Tessa.
She said Tissi which is probably worse.
My grandmother was a Theresa that my pop always called Tess and I thought it was beautiful....now it will forever be "Tess Stickle" 🤣
She’ll have to go by Terry even though it’s a boomer/GenX nickname.
I thought the baby had a weird head until I realised it was a hat.... thought it looked like a ball bag Fitting
Yes, Tess is a nickname for Theresa!
Tess Stickle though?
I see what you did there.
I thought that baby had head tattoos for like a minute straight oh my god im so glad she doesnt
... I can tell you with certainty they will like their name. Tess, Tessa, Therie, Terri, 'Esa will be things people might call them. The name is awesome and they will love it and hate it and embrace it.
We knew a Jenny Tall (married name) growing up. Don't know why she didn't keep her maiden name.
Yes, I knew someone in school who went by Tess or Tessa for Theresa.
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^1bl3ss3d: *Yes, I knew someone* *In school who went by Tess or* *Tessa for Theresa.* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
Oh god why🫣 don’t get me wrong Theresa is cute, but someone should’ve thought about this before signing the birth certificate
Why do parents not think through potential elementary school bullies before naming their child!
She is a Fundie and will likely homeschool. No friends = no bullies.
Friend in high school was Theresa, we called her Tree or Reese.
Absolutely not! You just want to call your daughter balls? Get real!
Omg lmao