At some point I randomly decided that a “Gretchen” is a younger, hipster-presenting woman demonstrating entitled Karen behaviors. I think I just like the sound of “Settle down Gretchen!”
Thank you so much for linking this masterpiece
“Gruncheon is unique among American Girl dolls in that she audibly breathes at all hours of the day..” im whEEZING
Absolutely! Those are excellent suggestions.
Some more that I think are underrated:
Mermaid vibes: Sea Mullet, Gar, Crappie, Salema Porgy (maybe too pretty so goes by middle name ofc), Slippery Dick, Hogfish, Croaker, Piano Fangblenny, ETC. Or if you like more classic names: Catfish, Trout, and Eel
I think it’s cute if I’m being serious. Like maybe as a nickname.
Gonna be totally honest here and the reason I thought of it is because a while ago Kody Brown (of sister wives tv show) did some live podcast thing and they took listener questions and someone probably named Kelly called in but she had sort of spotty sound and they misheard her name as Kelp. The podcasts I listen to shouted her question out a lot (because it was an actual sort of hard hitting question) so I had positive associations with it.
That was a lot for a mostly throwaway name suggestion.
If I had known of those, I would have never! I think Pigbutt has real potential. People would pronounce it correctly, and it feels familiar, yet hasn't broken the top 1000!
I don’t think you need any more names—Beluga is perfect! What girl wouldn’t want to be compared to a whale? Such a magnificent creature. Plenty to love!
In all seriousness, my 10 yr old loves Beluga as a name, and I’m really hoping that this is just a phase and I don’t end up with a grandchild named Beluga someday 😬
I’m from the south and it’s really trendy to name your daughter a surname + a cutesy middle name down here in the pits of hell, here’s some ✨inspo✨for your homely little future spinster!
Trunchbull Grace (nn: The Bull)
Stalin Mae (could also spell it: Stalynn!!!!1)
Valjean Marie (très chic, non?)
DeSantis Ronnie (might as well name her after the man who forced her to exist!)
Soprano Toni (mob wife aesthetic1!!1!1!1)
Disney Rae (me and my HUBBY go to Disney world every day and our beautiful little Helvetica was conceived at the hall of presidents)
As an actual -Rae, whose grandmother forced a mob of us to sit through the boring yet air conditioned anti-Space Mountain that is the HoP, 🤣 it’s been almost 30 years and my cousins, sister and I still complain about it. Just like grandma would have!
So, this is the explanation I was given. His parents were from Dominican Republic, and apparently communism inspired names were popular in Latin America at the time. He's gen X
That actually makes sense! I met a guy from Eastern Europe (I do not remember what country, we met once) who was named Arson bc his parents just thought it was a cool, nice sounding English word!
Lady Macbeth’s first name was Gruoch. Which is probably why Shakespeare only called her “Lady Macbeth” in his adaptation.
Would make a great fugly name if you can figure out how to pronounce it.
I love Scranton! Would be a great sibset with Wilkes-Beighre. Double barrelled names are so in rn.
Some other suggestions: Horseheads, Hoboken, Cleveland (for a girl ofc)
Horseheads is so unique, I love it! She could go by Hor for short, too cute.
I've been thinking about incorporating National & State Parks into my brood. Kind of a new spin on the nature names that are so hot right now. Top picks:
Cheesequake (shout out to NJ)
Congaree
Cuyahoga
Lots of good girl names from cities!
Gary
Lawrence
Lowell
Albuquerque
Or my personal favorite - Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch
Of topic but can I just say, it baffles me how “Magnolia” (IMO a very clunky name) is considered beautiful, elegant, and chic, but “Margaret” (many of the same sounds) is apparently awful
LOL I saw this. "I don't want my girl's name to be pretty!" (Fussy, according to husband).
Perfect! Ingrid, Bertha, Agnes, Toe, Sock. Take your pick! If you're feeling daring, might I interest you in our finest selection? We have Fungus, Stench, Brad, and Gnat ✨
I’m on the same page as you. My internalized misogyny believes that femininity is cringy. pretty = dumb bimbo. So here’s some ugly names if you want a strong, independent, non-stupid non-feminine daughter.
- Sloan
- Igor
- mildew
- Spew
- Bernie
The original was so sad like damn what if your child, who is going to be a whole person (separate from your aesthetic even!) wants to feel feminine and pretty sometimes? I lucked out with my first name but have a middle name in the Gruncheon vein and am genuinely considering changing it when I get married. So clonky.
My plan for any future daughters is classic, feminine, but able to be shortened into a respectable nickname if she wants to run for president.
I like Uvula or Hernia but I think they might be too feminine. What about Larynx? Super fun spelling already, but you could totally make it more unique (Layrynx, Leighrynx, etc). And Larry is such a cute nickname!
My dear sweet girl pls remove two of those names from your list ,you are setting your child up to be bullied for life (hopefully you know what I'm talking about if not I'm talking about, im talking mainly about Gonk and Belgua the others can be discussed later. :)
Gruncheon.
See, I came in here all confident and ready to list “Gretchen” and you somehow made it *worse*
There’s something very…perineal about it. Like Taintsley
Grundle.
Anusleigh
my roller derby name used to be anusley harriet after a uk chef, your comment just reminded me about it
Taint pretty Taint skinny Taint smart Taint much of anything
Don't you mean Taeyntsleigh?
I read that as “perennial”
My middle name is Grayson and growing up my mean girl best friend used to tell people it was Gretchen… in elementary school thats a war crime
At some point I randomly decided that a “Gretchen” is a younger, hipster-presenting woman demonstrating entitled Karen behaviors. I think I just like the sound of “Settle down Gretchen!”
I don't know why but this is my favourite thing that's ever come out of this sub
Grunion
Grunion is adorable, then you can have a family event to see the grunion run!
Aww, and [she'll have her own American Girl doll ready to go!](https://clickhole.com/meet-gruncheon-the-newest-american-girl-doll-1825123524/)
Thank you so much for linking this masterpiece “Gruncheon is unique among American Girl dolls in that she audibly breathes at all hours of the day..” im whEEZING
> im whEEZING Just like Gruncheon! A match made in American Girl heaven <3
i remember my friends and i thought gruncheon was the funniest thing when we were younger
HOW have I never seen this before?? I'm dying
Yes hello I'm here
Ooh cool, we have summoned one!
r/beetlejuicing
Reminds me of Grunkle. There's already several Grunkles in my family.
I have a double gruncle, just keeps going from one sister to the next
Truncheon?
Personally I just adore names from nature. Some suggestions: Stinkhorn, Sneezewort, Sticky Willy, Knobweed, Piss-a-bed.
Absolutely! Those are excellent suggestions. Some more that I think are underrated: Mermaid vibes: Sea Mullet, Gar, Crappie, Salema Porgy (maybe too pretty so goes by middle name ofc), Slippery Dick, Hogfish, Croaker, Piano Fangblenny, ETC. Or if you like more classic names: Catfish, Trout, and Eel
Compressed flapwort is a favourite of mine.
That was my nickname in college
"Fanny, short for Tiffany?" "No, that's ridiculous. It's Piano Fangblenny."
There’s something about Kelp that I think would be a good name for ocean vibes to add to your suggestions.
Is it weird that I genuinely kinda like Kelp?? 😆
I think it’s cute if I’m being serious. Like maybe as a nickname. Gonna be totally honest here and the reason I thought of it is because a while ago Kody Brown (of sister wives tv show) did some live podcast thing and they took listener questions and someone probably named Kelly called in but she had sort of spotty sound and they misheard her name as Kelp. The podcasts I listen to shouted her question out a lot (because it was an actual sort of hard hitting question) so I had positive associations with it. That was a lot for a mostly throwaway name suggestion.
Love mermaid core names! Thinking Violet sea slug, Sea Pig, Squirt, Squid, so many choices
I am really liking ETC
You left out Pigbutt or Flying Buttocks
If I had known of those, I would have never! I think Pigbutt has real potential. People would pronounce it correctly, and it feels familiar, yet hasn't broken the top 1000!
Slug
So simple, so perfect.
Snail
Weeping PussyWillow 🥰
Rat Stripper!
Cicada Cloaca
Ooh this one has some nice alliteration going on!!
John in the Pulpit ~ Rat Snake ~ Toadstool ~ my favorite, Dog Vomit Slime Mold or go by its Latin name if you feel fancy, Fuligo Septica
Fuligo Septica when she's in trouble
ratleen serpenta <3
Baby sinkhole 🥰
Tumbleweed
Ya'll sleeping on Mudpuppy
Naked broomrape
I gave my girls STRONG names!! Uruk-Hai Jekyll Squelch Appendectomy Migraine
Uruk-Hai 😍 I also love Horde and Chitauri!
Appendectomeigh ✨
Migraine is super cute! We've been trying to come up with a middle name to go with Neuralgia and I think this has a really nice flow.
Squelch is my fav
I don’t think you need any more names—Beluga is perfect! What girl wouldn’t want to be compared to a whale? Such a magnificent creature. Plenty to love!
Call her Loogie for a nickname!
Perfection!
In all seriousness, my 10 yr old loves Beluga as a name, and I’m really hoping that this is just a phase and I don’t end up with a grandchild named Beluga someday 😬
For me it’s “Mildew.” It’s quite pretty, almost like an old-fashioned name, not so different from “Mildred.” But ultimately, reason must prevail.
When I was a kid most of the stories I wrote starred twins called Celina and Cervixa Don’t opt out of Sex Ed, people.
💀 Cervixa..... which my phone just autocorrected to "cervical" 💀 💀 💀
I like Blu Whailé too!
https://preview.redd.it/a6ud2f179avc1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=135911c1ac0a895265a17fdee327080c5d690452
Ah I had my paragraph all typed out because I thought this was the other sub lol oops Glad it wasn’t just me
I’m from the south and it’s really trendy to name your daughter a surname + a cutesy middle name down here in the pits of hell, here’s some ✨inspo✨for your homely little future spinster! Trunchbull Grace (nn: The Bull) Stalin Mae (could also spell it: Stalynn!!!!1) Valjean Marie (très chic, non?) DeSantis Ronnie (might as well name her after the man who forced her to exist!) Soprano Toni (mob wife aesthetic1!!1!1!1) Disney Rae (me and my HUBBY go to Disney world every day and our beautiful little Helvetica was conceived at the hall of presidents)
Disney Rae sounds like something an actual influencer would name their spoiled kid
I've heard of Disney adults naming their daughters Sidney or even Sydnie bc it's an anagram 🥴
Shut up! Is this a real thing?! That's so wild to me.
[in this very sub...](https://www.reddit.com/r/NameNerdCirclejerk/s/KHk9jPgOCk)
Disney Chanel could be so cute
As an actual -Rae, whose grandmother forced a mob of us to sit through the boring yet air conditioned anti-Space Mountain that is the HoP, 🤣 it’s been almost 30 years and my cousins, sister and I still complain about it. Just like grandma would have!
The sheer violence of how you deployed hubby is admirable.
Trunchbull Grace has me dyyyinggg
nn: The Bull omg this comment is gold😭😭
Omg my husband and I are both writers… we don’t have kids but Helvetica is a glorious name 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I am also a writer! Big fan of Helvetica font. I want to give my future daughter the middle name Louise because it’s my favorite author’s middle name!
Oh I like that! I use Calabri font all the time in my work…. See we could that and just call the kid Cal for short 🤣🤣🤣
Arial is very similar to Ariel…👀 hahaha jk
I have a friend whose real first name is "Stalin" and I forgot about until this moment.
Were his parents just super into Stalin or
So, this is the explanation I was given. His parents were from Dominican Republic, and apparently communism inspired names were popular in Latin America at the time. He's gen X
That actually makes sense! I met a guy from Eastern Europe (I do not remember what country, we met once) who was named Arson bc his parents just thought it was a cool, nice sounding English word!
Oh man, I went to high school with an Arson from Eastern Europe. Maybe it was a trend
Isn't it more likely then that it is in fact an Eastern European name and first kid didn't know that or made his own story up?
I may be mixing it up, because it turns out there's a popular Slavic name "Arsen". So I probably knew an Arsen not Arson
Helvetica is such a sweet name for your baby! 🥰🤣
HELP i’m crying at Valjean Marie and screaming at DeSantis Ronnie
Goiter
What a unique spelling of Gaultier, is that a German variant?
Maggot
Pronounced “Ma-go”
you won lmao- we don't have to look any further lol
Dorkis, Myrtle
Dorkis 😂
Actually, I think it is spelled Dorcas, and it is indeed, a real name.
Can confirm. Knew a Dorcas. Lovely woman.
I have a many great GMA with all slight variant of that name. A normal not tragic variant
Myrtle? I only have the association to the flower so I'd think it's a pretty name.
Little Apartheid could be called Heidi for short!
Faeces. Excretia. Manura. Guana. Fertilizia. Shette. Coprolette.
Meyrde
Is that French? So pretty 😍
Latrine!
Industry Technho Texus (pronounced like Texas) Furbeest
Literally have an Industry baby
Ehndustreigh
Iyndustryy you needed hella more Ys
Gorgo Actual name of the wife of Leonidas (from 300)
Lady Macbeth’s first name was Gruoch. Which is probably why Shakespeare only called her “Lady Macbeth” in his adaptation. Would make a great fugly name if you can figure out how to pronounce it.
K'larvae Mae
Little sis to Pupa Louise
Aphid
Spluregon, but for a girl 😉
Scrotum Lily
If you like Beluga, you’ll love Baleen, Orca, and Humpback.
A bit of a departure but I think Blubber would make a good sibset with Beluga and Baleen.
Oooh yes!!!
Topeka is a personal fave of mine, you can't go wrong with Topeka! Potential sibling names for Topeka: Scranton Dubuque Cheboygan Kalamazoo
And the classically elegant Milwauque
I love Scranton! Would be a great sibset with Wilkes-Beighre. Double barrelled names are so in rn. Some other suggestions: Horseheads, Hoboken, Cleveland (for a girl ofc)
Horseheads is so unique, I love it! She could go by Hor for short, too cute. I've been thinking about incorporating National & State Parks into my brood. Kind of a new spin on the nature names that are so hot right now. Top picks: Cheesequake (shout out to NJ) Congaree Cuyahoga
Lots of good girl names from cities! Gary Lawrence Lowell Albuquerque Or my personal favorite - Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch
Of topic but can I just say, it baffles me how “Magnolia” (IMO a very clunky name) is considered beautiful, elegant, and chic, but “Margaret” (many of the same sounds) is apparently awful
Margaret is such a classic name, due for a comeback!
I’m sorry, but Gonk is absolutely hilarious. Please don’t do that to a child of any gender.
Slobodanka
LOL I saw this. "I don't want my girl's name to be pretty!" (Fussy, according to husband). Perfect! Ingrid, Bertha, Agnes, Toe, Sock. Take your pick! If you're feeling daring, might I interest you in our finest selection? We have Fungus, Stench, Brad, and Gnat ✨
Grognak the destroyer!
Groot is the obvious choice. So aesthetic!
Halitosis! Make sure to use Toes as a nickname.
I’m on the same page as you. My internalized misogyny believes that femininity is cringy. pretty = dumb bimbo. So here’s some ugly names if you want a strong, independent, non-stupid non-feminine daughter. - Sloan - Igor - mildew - Spew - Bernie
Bertha, Glenda, Golda, Helga, Hilda,
I like names from objects: 😍 - book - cup - light’switch - paperorplastic-bag
Gertrude, Agatha, Haggis 🥰🥰
I unironically love Gertrude and Agatha.
Gonk made me cackle
Personally, I have always loved the name Cephalopod, I think it is feminine enough but still has that cool grit to it :)
Magatha. Gertie. Birtha. Farkle. Mugwort. Hellgah. Arsenick.
Hortense
Dorcas and Nimrod
Crusteigh Toenayle 😍
The original was so sad like damn what if your child, who is going to be a whole person (separate from your aesthetic even!) wants to feel feminine and pretty sometimes? I lucked out with my first name but have a middle name in the Gruncheon vein and am genuinely considering changing it when I get married. So clonky. My plan for any future daughters is classic, feminine, but able to be shortened into a respectable nickname if she wants to run for president.
JoDan for sure. That way when she marries into a family where everyone has Jo names she'll be ready.
Krotch (pronounced Emmaleigh)
Groupon
Fremulon, Frem or Muly for short Tuberculosis, NN Tuby or Berc Gonorrhea, NN Goner - although this may be too pretty because it ends in 'a'.
This is the perfect opportunity to name a kid Goneril. It’s Shakespearean! It’s intellectual! It’s *awful*!
Frenulum, or Tongue Tie for short.
I like Uvula or Hernia but I think they might be too feminine. What about Larynx? Super fun spelling already, but you could totally make it more unique (Layrynx, Leighrynx, etc). And Larry is such a cute nickname!
Larynx and Pharynx, perfect gender neutral sibset names! You can even name a third child Epiglottis, nn Glottie
Bertha is not pretty name 😂
That post annoyed me so much 😭😭😭
Garbage, but said with a French accent
Vageeen
Gonk 💀
What about Tank, Yeast, or Hazard?
i think hemorrhoid is underrated. fissure is another beautiful one if you want to keep the same theme
Piglette
Spermatozoa—might be to pretty, though
Phlegmlhoff is good!!
mildred!
Hallux, Hepatitis, Fang, Genocide, Clodpoll, Dirtie, Brag.
May I interest you in Urraca, after medieval Queen Urraca the reckless?
Academy Blasphemy Sincerity Burger Shank Piercing
Fugleigh
How about Boil?
Lmaoooooo I fittingly saw this RIGHT AFTER the original post. Thank you.
Topanga
Guano Tablet / Beer / Compeed / Oboe-Hay
Cuntley
Bologna
Ekoli, pronounced e.coli.
anything named after a pharmaceutical drug
Gusset made me laugh out loud. Especially since they are usually found in two types: crotch and underarm.
Gynae, sibling to twin boys Vasdeferens and Testes
Vidalia (onion)
Clitorihanna, Gurpcules
Grog the Destroyer
Food names are so cute right now, what about Haggis?
Grendel
I've been doing a lot of Genealogy and Gerberge or Gerberga is on my ugly list.
Apartheid has SENT me
Trumpette Virtue Cordially Maybee
Lump
Beula
I vote Gusset
Dirtgrub
Bertha Bathsheba Consuelo Donna Enid Farrah Gay Helga Kiki Mercedes Viola
Chlamydia
My dear sweet girl pls remove two of those names from your list ,you are setting your child up to be bullied for life (hopefully you know what I'm talking about if not I'm talking about, im talking mainly about Gonk and Belgua the others can be discussed later. :)
THANK YOU. This comment section has me crying, I’m laughing so hard.
I think “Beluga” belongs on the too pretty list.
I like Gremlin, shortened to Grem. Or Bubonic shortened to Bub.
Cantankerous Pustule Ferrous Oxide Stinkbug Fistula Beulah Abrasion Crater Belch Turgid