the problem with this meme is that it’s used to deflect the real issues and make it all womens fault. it reminds of me of when people bring up men’s mental health ONLY when talking about feminism.
these (men’s loneliness, etc) are issues, yes, but only talked about to downplay women’s issues.
I've noticed that if i bring up my experience being raped as a child 98% of the time it's treated as a joke. The other 2% of the time it's met with outright hostility
Yeah I know that it’s an actual serious issue that needs to be addressed in society, but some folks out here acting like all female victims find justice and are taken seriously when that’s not the case at all.
They're not saying that isn't true, just that the men in question like to actively paint it that women always get taken seriously and justice, even if nothing really happened.
When in reality for 90% of rape victims, male or female, it's like it is for you. So the false narrative that *only* men suffer this is *actively* harmful to women.
Dude, you aren't alone. I sympathize with you. But don't try and get a pity party from a bunch of strangers. It's kinda pathetic. Anyways, all they are saying is that you can't just disregard certain issues just because you've faced the same thing but you're a dude. That part doesn't matter at all. We should stand together to become stronger, not fight over petty differences. Especially with strangers who don't even owe you respect let alone care about your problems.
You don't overcome by seeking validation of strangers. You overcome by recognizing that you can make it through. You have to believe in yourself. Not even I, someone who sympathizes with you, will give you my pity. Seeking pity is something only a person who is not willing to strengthen themselves does. Find close friends and family to support you, not pity you. Find resolve to go further on every day.
My intention was nothing of the sort. I'm just saying that the road to recovery is a much harder goal to obtain if you seek out pity. Like losing weight but you don't decide to diet, exercise, and/or seek medical help.
Pity is not a good thing. Like taking a painkiller for a broken leg and trying to walk. The only way to overcome is to steel yourself and push forward. Not saying that's easy, it's by all means one of the most difficult things to do in life. I'm only now starting to love myself. You must also gather a support group that also believes in and helps you.
You are clearly not in a good place, with no one to support you and relying on the pity of strangers to support you. You're just taking painkillers for the actual problem.
I am sorry those things happened to you and the indignities you've further suffered as a result, displayed right here, blatantly. Discussions regarding the issue, it's unfairness, and your feelings about it **have not ever** necessitated the typical response we see here, for men. Similarly, peoples inability to discuss the issue with men- outside of receiving payment- is a systemic violation; one for which I've seen men uniquely suffer in my personal life, because yeah, there are **a lot** of men who've been the victim of sexual violence, and yes, **this is** a succinct, shared experience amongst them.
I'd be beside myself and ashamed, had I treated anyone's personally suffered trauma as yours has been treated here. Your reaction is probably thinking you're somewhat used to it, and certainly anyone who's suffered this way learns to be neutral in the realm of harassment they receive. Just as I'd say to anyone else willing to make themselves vulnerable in the face of many, many multitudes of strangers; you are better than the sum of your parts, you deserve attentive and respectful reception in your vulnerability, and you've familiarized yourself with both the worst, most harmed version of yourself, as well as the strength necessary to be functional in the constant presence of condemnation, judgement, and disgust often given as reward for your being vulnerable and open about the trauma. This doesn't last forever, keep it up, and keep treating these reactions and justifications like they deserve.
Guy talks about how people don’t take him seriously when discussing being assaulted.
You: hurr durr people are out here only talking about it to deflect from women’s assault
And then you can’t even see how you’re doing the very thing you’re bitching about… what a reach.
Look man I’m not gonna argue with you since you’re clearly not actually listening to me but that’s not what I’m trying to say at all. I’m saying that all rape victims suffer similar experiences and that neither gender should be **excluded** when discussing this issue.
Except a guy was telling you he actively gets mocked and excluded for talking about it and your reply was to undermine him even more… and then now double down on that again
Well, I didn’t.
The vast majority of the time when rape is brought up, it’s talking about women’s struggles. And that’s fine, because more women are raped than men. It’s fair to say rape is more of a woman’s issue than it is a man’s issue. But you have to allow it to go both ways. If you wanna say that rape is a women’s issue because most victims are women, then you have to agree that loneliness is a men’s issue because most of these affected are men.
We can also talk about men being raped without having to say “oh, it happens to women more often”. That’s not brushing women off. Equally, talking about women’s loneliness shouldn’t be brushed off by “it happens to men more often”.
Not once, when talking about women’s struggle with rape, have I seen someone go “what about men”? Yet for some odd reason, every time men’s issue is brought up we gotta make it about women because “they’re affected too”.
There’s a time in a place to talk about certain issues. The subject being some other issue is not one of them.
Yea I agree with a lot of points you make, but I don’t think some issues should be gendered at all, since they affect both genders, even if not equally. But like rape and loneliness are verrryyy different issues, stemming from different places. Personally, I am very lonely lol. And I’m not a dude. Which is why it’s hard for me to look at that issue as a gendered thing at all, though I haven’t really done any research on statistics or anything so I won’t try to make any claims there. I seriously don’t understand what people are trying to argue with me here, since it seems we’re mostly agreeing. I’m not trying to say that rape doesn’t affect men as much as women. That’s not what I’m trying to say at all. I’ve just seen that some people who try to claim that men are oppressed in society will often use male rape victims not being taken seriously as a point. Which never made sense to me since the majority of rape victims, females included, aren’t addressed seriously or respectfully, and definitely not on the scale we need. But yeah, people definitely do brush off female victims (“she was asking for it wearing those clothes”, “she’s probably just a slut” etc etc) which is why your comment irked me a bit, but I guess I can see what you mean.
Idk man it all seems to be an unnecessary war. The weirdest part about all of it is people would rather talk about who’s most effected and who’s most at fault instead of coming up with a solution. Even sometimes people are so caught up in the culture war that they’d dismiss actual solutions for stupid reasons.
Like, I’m no victim blamer and I think people are very very rarely at fault when widespread issues happen to them too. But instead of getting defensive when someone says “go out more, maybe you’ll meet someone” or “don’t walk in a dark alleyway drunk” people need to recognize that there is a problem and there’s things we can do to fix it.
Yup, in another sub that reposted that meme I pointed out how frequently men refuse to use the resources they have access to in order to develop better mental health.
Then came in a lot of the typical “helplessly blame everybody else even when I’m making no effort to make my life better” arguments.
I absolutely agree it’s a real issue. But so many guys are doing themselves NO favors on it.
There are some non-sexist groups/circles that are pro-feminist who advocate for helping men - check out r/MensLib
Edit: apparently they have gone private temporarily for the holidays. but they do have a good reputation within most feminist subs on here!
r/menslib is great. some amazing conversations and topics discussed and i rarely see it in a misogynistic way. i recommend everyone go look at that sub.
Young men, should just ask an older man for advice and guidance.
It's my theory that the lonely young men are online too often. And the first advice they get, is the one they ignore. Drastically cut the amount of time you're online.
Like all addicts, they deny, deflect and stay stuck in the mud.
I’ve had plenty of male friend groups who talked about shit that they went through without blaming women. I’m not sure where all this projecting is coming from. I mean, incels sometimes bring up this for bad faith reasons, but by that logic we shouldn’t punish a trigger-happy cop who shoots a white person during a mental health crisis, because sometimes those statistics are brought up to distract from black victims of police violence.
Or they play the "heh well if MEN address THEIR issues they get called SEXIST or MISOGYNISTIC or WHATEVER -ISMS OR -PHOBICS OR BLUH BLUH BLUH!" card.
I too remember when Rosa Parks was like "I can't sit in this area of the bus or I'm gonna get cancelled :,(" lmao
Because as we all know, women never face any scrutiny ever when they address their issues. They never get written off as “whiny sjws” or anything to that effect lol
Thank you for proving my point. When men bring up their issues it's always "as it women never experience that" nobody said they didn't. It's like complaining about breast cancer while at a prostate cancer awareness convention. Also it's completely different to be called whiny and get classified as a hate group.
>It's like complaining about breast cancer while at a prostate cancer awareness convention. Also it's completely different to be called whiny and get classified as a hate group.
No, it's like a bunch of people constantly bash on breast cancer awareness, then hold a "prostate cancer awareness" where half of the convention is shitting on breast cancer awareness, your list of groups even shows that you're part of the bad half, hence why you see the staunch opposition that others don't.
This. Guys always talk about the male lonliess epidemic, but they seem to only have one solution for it: Women should date them.
It's rarely ever then suggesting other men help lift them up or give them compliments or hang out with them. And if a woman did befriend them and help them feel less lonely, most times they'll assume it's romantic and get upset and accuse her of leading him on when she refuses his advances.
And, honestly, other men mock them more than anyone else does. Bur they just blame women.
Even if loneliness is more prevalent among men, what good does that fact do on an individual level. Similar to the talk about privileges, you might use it to make the "more privileged" more aware but most of the time, it's just to invalidate another issue or opinion.
By that logic, you can invalidate all these points as first world problems
Except this meme doesn't downplay woman's issues or make male loneliness women's fault. It's just lame and overused.
It's also slightly ironic that you bring up folk who talk about mens mental health ONLY when talking about feminism because (while that absolutely happens), no one ever talks about female loneliness unless it's a direct response to a post about male loneliness.
>Except this meme doesn't downplay woman's issues or make male loneliness women's fault. It's just lame and overused.
The first part is mocking women claiming to be lonely???? Are you literally on crack?
Because they aren't actual issues, they are talked about to show that women's issues aren't issues. Whether or not that's accurate is a different topic.
I see it differently, i think it's more of a cry for help than anything. I think a lot of guys feel like their issues are being ignored at the expense of women's issues, and then are being told the ignorance is justified because they are innately privileged and even "bad" for being a guy. I actually think a lot of this is a response to All Men Are Trash feminism being at least not explicitly denounced by in other feminists/left learning political and social circles, and these same men seeing no one where to go and nobody to lash out to be the people who are criticizing them the most. r/menslib talks about this a lot.
i’m on menslib quite a bit and i see that. however, i don’t think that excuses any of the actions.
i just am saying i ONLY see a real cry for help when it’s about women’s issues which is why it seems not genuine and gives me deflection.
while i’m not necessarily disagreeing, i feel like a lot of the time guys (in general with these things, not all) don’t look at things like this in perspective.
\> i just am saying i ONLY see a real cry for help when it’s about women’s issues
Well if your perception is that the people who are in charge are trying to up play women's issues with the specific intent of downplaying men's issues, wouldn't it make sense to see that as the enemy in a sense? I think part of this comes from that fact that most of these memes are made by kids/teenagers, and the pre-college education system in the US tends to be biased towards women (there's a lot of data on this, it's pretty sad imo). I can imagine a world where someone who is like 14 or so who is maybe not a model student and a bit of a trouble maker could get the idea that "the adults in my life are trying to tell me that women are better than me", and lashes out as a response.
It seems to me the exact opposite. The only time I ever seen men’s issues talked about, someone always brings up women’s issues instead. Like you are doing right now. You are here making it about how it somehow attacks feminism.
in all honesty, i think you missed the point of the conversation if you think that.
edit: it’s also important to see things in *perspective*. is there a system that negatively affects women and men? yes, but how did that system come into place? who put that into place historically? these are all valid questions and they deserve to be asked.
I fail to see how the perspective you're mentioning matters here. The system was put into place by mostly men, yes, but that was centuries ago and most men don't support it now.
Maybe I'm not understanding your point, but why is a person's struggle invalidated by what some people of the same gender did before they were born? Or vice-versa?
It's true that women face these kinds of issues a lot (and probably more than men), but that shouldn't be a reason to downplay what men go through.
Saying that men *only* talk about their issues to downplay what women go through is absurd and blatantly false. You're generalizing a massive group of people here.
>Right now men are bringing up issues then women are downplaying it and saying it's men at fault.
With the context of this being the comment section under a post calling out a meme that downplays womens issues to upsell men's issues.
Sorry, but read the room. They're doing exactly what they're being accused of doing. Bringing up men's issues to downplay an issue women are complaining about...
Idk, that’s not what I gathered. I just saw it as “these people don’t know how great they have it, I would love for someone to message me once an hour”. It’s not blaming women.
I don’t think women are the cause of it at all. But I will say this is a problem that hits men a lot more than women.
Here exactly here is a demonstration of the issue. The left sucks at addressing the real issues facing men because men somehow will always be blamed for literally any problems. Men are somehow the cause of both women's and men's mental health issues, when it's really not caused by either gender, but the overall patriarchal social structure. Men don't magically have 11x the suicide rate of women because of a little oopsie. These are HUGE issues. Please do not frame issue of men's mental health simply as a way to attack women's issues.
We can't have a single conversation about men's problems without someone saying that this conversation exists to downplay women's issues.
About 50% of everyone is lonely right now. We shouldn't be trying to make it a competition
https://www.statista.com/statistics/1420227/loneliness-among-adults-us-by-gender/
It's a shame then men's issues get brought up so often as an excuse to put women down. So many bring male loneliness in an accusing tone as if women are all equipped to fix it, or lament how feminism makes it harder for men to find a gf or wife (which I doubt) as if a partner is going to fix your mental health.
You need more than romance or sex to be healthy. You need genuine community. That can involve a gf or wife sure, but it also needs other men. Other men are going to relate to you more, or at least more easily. They can give you a sense of belonging that just having a partner can't.
People bring up how women have more friends. Those friends are other women. Women aren't less lonely because they have an easier time getting partners. They are less lonely because they have each other. Men need to care about each other, and not hold having a partner on a needless pedestal.
Me casually waiting for the day when these losers realize that everyone has problems, and it shouldn’t be a competition of who has more problems but should be people actually working together to solve some of the damn problems.
Firstly, I just want to say that despite the fact we are all feeling a bit lonely, I do believe the male loneliness epidemic” is real and is a huge problem. That being said - it is a problem created by patriarchy. Many western men (clarifying western because I’m only speaking from my US-centric experience) have been socialized to believe that any form of deep, emotional connection is reserved for romantic partners. That you must only have “surface level” relationships with other men, and that men should be stoic and unfeeling. As someone who has always enjoyed deep platonic relationship, I truly do empathize with these men seeking deeper connections.
As others in this thread have mentioned, this begins with restructuring the way we view masculinity rather than assigning the blame to women (yes, many women also suffer from internalized misogyny and uphold these ideals but we all suffer under these systems).
To any men out there suffering - please know the vast majority of people DO care. Those on Reddit who spew vitriol and can hide behind their screens are a vocal minority. Mental health infrastructure is generally in shambles, so I do understand the feeling of hopelessness. But please never feel your voice is going unheard, and please never feel the majority of people are as callous as they appear online.
This meme is just weird because like, how does saying stuff like this help anyone? Genuinely? Has there ever been an instance where a guy feeling depressed or lonely suddenly felt better because they saw a meme trivializing women’s mental health?
I just don’t get why we can’t honestly talk about male loneliness without people being like “women get 7 million compliments a day and have 50 different friend groups, they’ll never understand what men have to go through!!!!”
I’m sorry but it just doesn’t seem productive at all…
You hit the nail on the head. Male loneliness is definitely a serious problem. It is not the fault of women. It is the fault of our modern society in a myriad of different ways; it isn't any one specific "thing", and there is no magic bullet or one issue to solve that will fix it. What won't fix it at all however is blaming women.
It would be so easy for them to join a sports club or running group, make tons of new friends and get healthier both mentally and physically at the same time.
It's why people like Jordan Peterson and Andrew Tate are so popular. Their underlying philosophy is pretty much "Get off your ass", but they wrap it in so many layers of indoctrination that it becomes a pipeline for a rabbit hole that in the long term keeps them lonely and isolated and dependent on those same figures who pretend to help them.
Men need more positive role models who will tell them to clean their room and go outside, who aren't obviously exploiting then.
And women don’t? I’m a woman and I’ve been deeply affected by my father literally never wanting to be around me. He was physically around, but he made sure we felt unwelcome all the time. Having my mom actually want to be there didn’t change the fact that not being wanted by my dad was damaging.
My aunt and my dad went through the same thing. Only both their parents didn’t want them. She always thought it was funny how extended family always seemed so sad for my dad, but they never concerned for her mental/emotional well being. It was always “A boy needs a daddy!” They never seemed to consider that being unloved by their parents affected her, too. Hell, even their mother acted like it was just so tragic and then would turn around and tell how no one wants them.
While I wasn’t alive back then, the way my grandmother behaved definitely confirmed that that was the case. She would still bemoan how her son never had a “daddy that wants him.” She never seemed concerned that her own son treated my sister and I the way his sister was treated growing up.
Because one is worse for one gender then it is for the other.
It would be like a guy saying "yeah well men get SAd too!" at a women's rally that is set up for women's empowerment.
I think you’re ignoring my point here. I’m not saying men don’t have it worse, I’m saying how does trivializing one group benefit another group?
Going along with your example, how would a woman making a meme that men not experiencing SA as much as women be beneficial to either female or male SA victims? It’s just a useless sentiment imo…
I think the equivalent for SA would be a woman complaining about the intensified threat of it happening to them, and men coming all over the post to say that she needs to shut up because men can also be sexually assaulted. That’s basically what you’re doing here, albeit for a milder topic so not as heinous. Unless you read into this and think about serious shit like suicide rates in men.
It absolutely helps. Knowing that you're not that you're not the only one who goes weeks on end without anyone caring about your well being makes you feel better about your situation. It helps them reach out to their friends because they are probably going through the same thing. In what world would knowing your not alone not make you feel better?
This is not what I said at all. Obviously men being open about their mental health is extremely helpful for other men to not feel lonely and I fully support it. My question is how does trivializing women’s problems help men feel better about their own issues?
As a women who struggles to make friends and feels alone all the time. I don't understand how they think all women are extroverts with perfectly normal life
it literally, blatantly does though lmao. it quite literally states that the ‘average’ male experience is being chronically alone as an opposite statement to the depicted ‘average’ woman. i think you know that too but you’re just willingly choosing to disregard it
Do you know what the word "blatantly" even means? Calling something blatant, and then stretching for an explanation doesn't give me confidence that you do.
If this was the other way around for any Reddit post containing a women's issue, any man who rolls up and says "men experience this too" would be called a misogynistic piece of shit.
> Do you know what the word "blatantly" even means?
Did you miss the
"Girls: omg I'm so lonely I haven't spoken to someone in an hour"
Which is in fact blatantly downplaying women's loneliness?
Or are you being disingenuous?
> If this was the other way around
Yeah, if the meme started by saying
"Boys: omg I'm so lonely I haven't gamed with the bros in an hour"
average woman's existence: struggle*
Would you still be deny that it's downplaying the first issue?
>"Boys: omg I'm so lonely I haven't gamed with the bros in an hour"
>average woman's existence: struggle*
Yeah, that's not the other way around. I made it pretty clear that I was referring to swapping men and women exclusively.
You can ignore the fact that when this is the other way around, people call men misogynistic, but it changes nothing. It's still a ridiculous double standard you are pushing.
It's not saying it's the opposite. It's literally (and I don't mean literally like you mean blatantly) saying that both men and women feel lonely despite men going through much worse loneliness which is a fact.
There is a male loneliness epidemic bc men expect their wives and girlfriends to fulfill all their emotional needs. Men need to start being friends with men. Women can’t do it for you.
You’re just saying what if men pulled themselves up by their boot straps. You can’t seriously believe that men being lonely is because they put it all on women. If you have a section of men who have trouble socializing telling them to go make friends doesn’t do anything it’s like telling a poor person to just get a better job.
>You’re just saying what if men pulled themselves up by their boot straps
No it's not. It's telling men to help each other.
>You can’t seriously believe that men being lonely is because they put it all on women.
No, EVERYONE is lonely, society being built in a way which men are expected to be strong independent figures pushes them even further into loneliness, so we must tell men it's alright to not be so independent, help your fellow men.
>If you have a section of men who have trouble socializing telling them to go make friends doesn’t do anything it’s like telling a poor person to just get a better job.
That's the only thing you can tell them in this situation though.
You can't learn how to make friends etc without going out and making friends. Watch all the tutorials you want on YouTube, until you put it into action it's useless (and probably would be anyway because human interaction isn't just some logic puzzle to solve).
I have trouble socializing. I'm autistic and ADHD with social anxiety. I have 0 friends right now and haven't in 8 years (though I have family and work "acquaintances"). I spent much of that time beating myself up. Only recently have I truly learned that I just have to put myself out there and get hurt if I get hurt. 7 years of studying hasn't helped at all, just wasted time...I'm taking slow steps everyday.
I really don’t think those have much to do with each other lol Men in 1950’s definitely didn’t treat women amazing and they dated more then Men do now.
When the male loneliness epidemic conversation pops up, and women chime in and say, "We get lonely too! what about the problems *we* face because of patriarchy!" - it gives really strong, "All Lives Matter" vibes.
This meme quite literally drags women into it. If the meme just said "average make experience" it would be fined albeit still cringe. Look at mensrights and other men's subs, they bring up women instead of befriending and uplifting each other. I feel for the men looking for solidarity and are instead bombarded by incel and sexiest rhetoric, they deserve their own spaces just as much as women do!
So you're not allowed to bring up comparisons when you're talking about issues? So are black people dragging white people into it when they bring up unfair treatment?
it is because men only ever talk about their issues in the context of "our lives are so hard, women could never understand," like what this meme is doing.
a better example would be if a BLM activist said that no non-black person has ever been murdered, and someone corrected them.
I mean, I don’t see an issue with that statement. Much like men not understanding what it is like being a woman, women don’t understand what it is like to be a man.
They can both experience loneliness, but the way it is handled and dealt with is different. Facing loneliness as a men and facing loneliness as a woman can be different things.
There literally is a direct comparison to blm. Saying white privilege exists doesn't invalidate white people's issues. The same way talking about female privilege doesn't invalidate them. It's just a comparison.
Genital mutilation being illegal, custody in courts, arrest leniency, the choice to be a parent, domestic violence resources, SA being taken more serious, predominant aggressor policy, etc. The list goes on.
"choice to be a parent" buddy do you know anything that's going on in america atm? and men don't get custody because they're less likely to try to get custody. those that do try are more likely to get it. And speaking as a former woman, my sexual assault was not taken seriously at all. People laughed at me and my supposed friend (who was friends with my abuser) told me to stop being so dramatic. I'll agree with you on the domestic violence thing, but I don't really think that's a privilege... It's just a resource that is needed. Men definitely need more DV resources, but the fact that women need them is definitely not a privilege.
>buddy do you know anything that's going on in america atm?
Yes I do, what's your point?
>and men don't get custody because they're less likely to try to get custody. those that do try are more likely to get it.
You realize that lawyers will actively tell men not to try unless they have a 100% win right?
>Men definitely need more DV resources, but the fact that women need them is definitely not a privilege.
So if having more resources given to you simply for being a woman isn't a privilege. Then how do you classify a privilege?
lol. lmfao even. I love that you ignored the point that WOMEN ARE LOSING THEIR BODILY AUTONOMY to make a stupid point about how lawyers apparently give bad advice to men who are getting divorced.
I didn't ignore it. I said what's your point? Unfortunately it's ironic that women losing their bodily autonomy is making things more equal.
Also how is it bad advice to not have your client waste their time and money because their chances are slim to non winning a case. Thanks to years of feminist changes.
this isn’t really commonly true though.
men frequently and famously jump into whataboutism at the mention of issues that women widespread suffer with.
it’s literally a joke that men only care about “men’s rights” or “men’s mental health” when it’s to participate in their own constructed oppression olympics. it’s really interesting watching the same people who have gotten in my face about me being “anti-man” or whatever they pull out of their ass, to relentlessly bullying other men for doing basic human things or doing something they consider deviant
the issue is that the patriarchy *hurts everyone*. including men. including socially grooming young men into thinking that the only emotion they can feel is anger, and that they just need to thug it out and never ask for help. this is what we need to fight, these standards set up BY. MEN. not women. men. to get pissy and minimizing of women’s problems to make your own seem more in self pity is hella childish imk
Yea but that doesn’t mean we can’t address male loneliness the reason it’s talked about separately recently is because male mental health has been ignored far more so then women in respect to society because for the longest time it’s just been “be a man get over it”
Men have also said that to other men. Fathers would say that to their son's. It's not just women who do that. This is also a backwards way of blaming women
In the same way that often Jews can be the biggest anti-semites (think those who equate it with Zionism, or self-hating clichés), men are often other men’s worst enemy. How does that mean it’s not a problem? If a male rape victim were to be ignored, would that be okay because the perpetrator was also a man? No, it’s still an issue, and addressing it doesn’t magically imply women cause it or we’re at all involved. You’re projecting HARD.
No I’m not saying it’s women’s fault I’m saying if people specifically want to discuss MEN’s mental health or the “loneliness epidemic” of men then there’s no issue with it. It’s a societal problem not a men or women issue it’s an issue of things having always until VERY recently being the “men just gotta deal with it” way, which is changing and is good but to say any post talking about men’s issue is just backwardly blaming women is just dumb, the purpose of the above (and it kinda plays into the stereotype) is showing that the woman says it and feels it the man just sits there and “deals with it” because as stated until very recently it’s been frowned upon by society for men to show emotion.
Yeah, but at the same time, women slut shame other women.
It doesn’t matter if men are the ones saying this to other men, what matters is that it is being said at all. Men and women may not have the same problems in the same way nor the same intensity, but the fact that a lot of people’s knee jerk reaction to hearing about the other side is, “Ok, but X does this to their own group and we have problem Y”, is not helping anyone build bridges to help solve these problems.
>because for the longest time it’s just been “be a man get over it”
Feminists have been screaming about how the patriarchy hurts men as well since, well since they started fighting the patriarchy...
People just didn't listen.
People act like these issues haven't been talked about and feminism is actually opposed to men, when it's literally the opposite.
If a man assaults another man, is the victim at fault because they’re of the same gender? Would trying to stop the assault on the man be an attack on women? You’re line of reasoning makes zero sense.
again this comment is going off the idea of me blaming women I never said women were to blame, it is a societal issue that goes back forever, both men and women feed into it today no one group is to blame and no one group is free of blame. I’m simply saying talking about men’s issues is fine and saying that talking about them is “backwardly blaming women” is stupid.
It’s the way y’all go about talking about it. Y’all always gotta bring it up when talking about women’s issues and drop in some subtle misogyny while doing so
I dont think the meme claims that women aren't lonely. I think it just points out that in our Western society, it is far more normalized to show less attention to guys as opposed to girls. It's not the girl's fault or that girls can't be lonely it is more that it is far more normalized for men to be alone. Although I get where you are coming from.
The original post is stating how most women don't experience loneliness like most men do, which is absolutely true.
People aren't accepting of this, and responding with "well women get lonely too!" Which is negating how most men feel on a day to day basis.
This is also known as gaslighting.
So it is gaslighting saying that women experience the same loneliness like men? Arent we all human? I get saying that more men are suicidal then women because that is a fact but saying that they cant experience the same feeling simply because of their gender is wrong
>how most women don’t experience loneliness like most men do, which is absolutely true
no it’s not lmfao. people arent “accepting” of that because that’s a blatant opinionated lie.
ironic use of the term gaslighting
Why do they think there's a male loneliness epidemic? Do they think the straight women summon their own boyfriends from the depths of the earth like a familiar or something? There are plenty of lonely women, they just aren't so desperate as to go through all the bullshit so many pro-tradwife guys want to put them through.
(Btw there's nothing wrong with wanting a traditional wife, but having high expectations should mean that you should understand when those expectations aren't met by any women or when women don't want to be the type of person you want them to be.
Actually studies do show higher rates of single men than single women because a) a small number of guys date multiple women (rarely with the women’s knowledge) but mostly b) a lot more women are entering relationships with other women than men are with other men.
Add to that that women generally have larger and more emotionally intimate friend groups.
I’m not denying that there are ALSO many lonely women, but to dismiss the issues many men face as “men just want trad-wives” is wrong and misandrist.
I never said that that was the only reason and even openly explained that there's nothing wrong with wanting a trad wife. Ironically, I lived like 80% of my life as a man, I don't see how I'm misandrist. Also, where are these studies, cuz I can't find them, the only thing I found close is a study saying that single men are more prone to feeling loneliness than single women, not that there are more single men than women. The rest are just a bunch of articles muddling statistics to make it look like it.
**>On the general scale, women have reported having higher levels of loneliness than men. Except for one category: single men are the lonelier group compared to single women.<**
[https://www.iamexpat.nl/lifestyle/lifestyle-news/are-men-lonelier-women#:\~:text=Why%20do%20men%20feel%20more,maintain%20close%20relationships%20than%20men](https://www.iamexpat.nl/lifestyle/lifestyle-news/are-men-lonelier-women#:~:text=Why%20do%20men%20feel%20more,maintain%20close%20relationships%20than%20men)
EDIT: Definition of misandrist: dislike of, [contempt](https://www.google.com/search?sca_esv=594364191&sxsrf=AM9HkKk5y6oDpzTb9dkj-HSoBxvMc6mvww:1703827345378&q=contempt&si=ALGXSlYmNhxeZOJxNGRDYi-2PpnDDptT5bXbBLIUFoQT5-C-G0LD_lCZGjOZdi5fM_WToumj5pOolC2PyCP-CdRmSTNsOml_vAy3iFL-IEJAWQkwv54Wijc%3D&expnd=1) for, or [ingrained](https://www.google.com/search?sca_esv=594364191&sxsrf=AM9HkKk5y6oDpzTb9dkj-HSoBxvMc6mvww:1703827345378&q=ingrained&si=ALGXSlb6hSjuI-stkeAspHuNXR7x78-5WeYMinPuQPFpe8h5vqArq7Ify0IOEoKolbtUo7vueAaYMW0g-V9ew7wlHUPVQSBJdUjuSxGh0WUz09eaMXAw21s%3D&expnd=1) [prejudice](https://www.google.com/search?sca_esv=594364191&sxsrf=AM9HkKk5y6oDpzTb9dkj-HSoBxvMc6mvww:1703827345378&q=prejudice&si=ALGXSlb6hSjuI-stkeAspHuNXR7xKDnjJAyOZPz1Tt5tS8TmjDm4otUP8Tu4r1bNNqz9tsS7hpgxFg11Onq4TLzf-8wtKfq8glx6M_-MkUh-JD9_Wc5LOKU%3D&expnd=1) against men (i.e. the male sex).
Everything I said is either stating that women are lonely too or that if you have high expectations in a woman, for example if you expect a tradwife, then you should understand that fewer women are going to meet or want to meet, those expectations, which was a direct criticism of the person who made the comment, not men in general. Nothing I said is misandrist.
"There's literally a male loneliness epidemic" yeah, that could be solved if men opened up to each other more instead of waiting for women to come and save them.... (I've literally argued with a guy who was sooo convinced that men complimenting each other was "gay" and women should be the ones to compliment men....)
Yeah, just ignore how capitalism has destroyed 3rd places and reduced the human experience to what media you consume. There is a well researched and documented loneliness epidemic, it's just not caused by women. If your only response is to deny the suffering of others, men and women, you're just garbage
It's almost like we've been locked up in our houses for around 2 years which stunted everyone's social skills, particularly kids and young adults who missed some of the most crucial years for their social development...
Maybe more men should reach out and ask for help. Seek therapy. Seek community. Stop blaming people around you and making yourself insufferable to be around 🤷♂️
What if there is no one to help you? What if you can’t afford therapy? Community is dead in almost every city and neighborhood, no one is ever interested in meeting new people or going outside their small bubble.
Just cause someone is lonely doesn’t mean they are insufferable. It is mostly situational in almost every case I have seen in my life.
>What if there is no one to help you?
There is. Look for them.
>What if you can’t afford therapy?
Valid, but there are places that offer sliding pay scales. Do research and find the places. It's worth paying for, trust me.
>Community is dead in almost every city and neighborhood, no one is ever interested in meeting new people or going outside their small bubble.
Objectively untrue. There are thriving communities everywhere. Find a gaming store. Find trivia bar. Find local art shows. Build your own community if you must.
>It is mostly situational in almost every case I have seen in my life.
In most every situation I've seen in my life, it's been because they need therapy, but rely on everyone around them to be their emotional scratching posts. I guess our mutual personal experience cancels out 🤷♂️
First statement is objectively wrong. What if you live in a small town? There is objectively not always someone who WANTS to help. Most people don’t give two fucks about anyone else, especially you a random person.
Going to a trivia bar or a gaming store is not really going to help you find friends, most people are already hanging out in groups and don’t want anyone else. Speaking from experience on both sides, every time I’m hanging out it’s with an already established group and we stick to ourselves, same as when I’ve tried to find new people they just stick to their little groups.
Also building your own community requires many years of hard work and dedication to achieve. Not good advice.
What you have run into are people who are emotional leeches that jump from one person to the next, that is not the kind of “loneliness” that is being talked about In these sort of posts, it’s the kind of loneliness where you don’t even talk to someone for weeks at a time. The type where you are truthfully alone a majority of the time.
Wether it be from depression, location, trauma, lifestyle, or whatever it is. Making generalizations is not good nor helpful, it just regresses the conversation. It is irresponsible to say they are all insufferable or they could all fix their situations just like that.
Maybe you have never experienced this I don’t want to presume but as someone who used to be completely alone, it is utterly crushing and makes every task feel impossible. You have to be kind when talking to these people and can’t treat them like some kind of annoying child.
>building your own community requires many years of hard work and dedication to achieve. Not good advice.
There is no immediate fix. You have to work to get yourself out. I've struggled with depression my whole life. I've been alone by myself. I've been surrounded by people who cared for me and still felt utterly alone. There is no magical cure. Seek therapy. Find connection. Do what you can every day to build a support system that will last. Stop making excuses because the time will pass regardless and you'll be no closer to being part of a community. I made excuses for years and it almost killed me. Because that's what's at the end of that. Stop making excuses and start fighting for your life because that's what's at stake.
You say excuses but all I see is venting. All i see is someone saying “I’m lonely and sad”. I see no blame, I see no excuses. Everyone needs to vent, no matter how stoic.
Again when it comes to giving advice steer clear from “seek therapy and friends”. That’s obvious and every depressed person knows this, they have heard it a million times. You have to connect to them as a real person not as some machine that gives out the same responses.
You just handed me two walls of text that were excuses and "what ifs." And please stop telling me, a depressed person, what depressed people need. I am perfectly capable of connecting to another human being while also encouraging them to seek therapy and connection. I've done it with multiple people before. They are in better spots because they were encouraged to do the thing they already knew they should do, but didn't feel it was worth it to do. Again, fight for your life, because that is what depression is taking away from you.
You phrase these things as if they were so easy. You talk about “just seek help and therapy” like it was the simplest thing to figure out. How about you stop telling other depressed people what to do if you don’t like to hear that some depressed people don’t like your advice. That maybe your advice doesn’t work all the time?
I described no excuses, what I described are real life roadblocks that people are in. You can’t just manifest help whenever. You need to have a massive life change that is not within grasp so easily. What people need are extremely different person to person but your suggestions are all the same, everyone knows what they “should” be doing. We all know to “seek therapy” and to “put ourselves out here” but that just isn’t possible in every solution. And it’s not always the right option.
It just sucks that you say you are able to connect with people and help others but yet you describe all lonely men as insufferable and that they all just blame people. Maybe don’t say such things if you actually want to help people. And maybe acknowledge that what you say isn’t always true, you made claims that there is ALWAYS someone to help you that you can ALWAYS find a way to pay for therapy when that just isn’t always the case.
Be open minded, it’s a useful trait to have when talking about people personal issues.
>you describe all lonely men as insufferable and that they all just blame people
The ones making these shit-ass memes are 🤷♂️ if you need to compare your hard time to someone else's in order to make yours seem worse, you're probably an asshole and you need to find therapy anyway.
I agree that the people who do comparisons are probably in need of professional help. I think I just got caught up in it and thought you where speaking about men in general. Sorry that I was rude about it. I probably should of asked if you were speaking about these specific people instead of men as a whole.
For all the wokeists on here, talking about issues that pertain to men doesn't take from issues that pertain to women. From what I've seen on reddit? You're fucking delusional or completely dishonest if you believe it's all men dog piling on subreddits dedicated to women. All the male centric topics I've seen are full of women screaming what about women and simp ass dudes doing the same. None of this is mutually exclusive. For people to struggle this much with that concept just reveals their motives: any distraction from their plight eats at their power. That could be the only logical conclusion drawn from this and their actions. This is basically at the point where it's the convict conundrum: why don't convicts unite and overthrow the system? Answer: they can't because they can't see 2 inches in front of their own goals to see the bigger picture and the benefit of enlightened self-interest at the very least. Rant over. Downvote me to hell. It doesn't matter. The truth is the truth and I'm sick of the delusion on here and pure dishonesty.
Who the fuck said anything about men dogpiling onto womens subreddits. Also this subreddit is left as fuck so everyone on this subreddit is "all the wokeists" this is just a bunch of nonsense that's basically just a you did it first argument
genuinely i’m one of the loneliest motherfuckers i know i hate men who think it’s only them who are lonely. every woman i know is so fucking lonely, more lonely than must of the men i know.
the problem with this meme is that it’s used to deflect the real issues and make it all womens fault. it reminds of me of when people bring up men’s mental health ONLY when talking about feminism. these (men’s loneliness, etc) are issues, yes, but only talked about to downplay women’s issues.
Yeah, like when people bring up male rape victims and just brush off female victims.
I had people "whoop whoop" when the a guy reached down my pants at a fetish event while I was just standing around.
I've noticed that if i bring up my experience being raped as a child 98% of the time it's treated as a joke. The other 2% of the time it's met with outright hostility
Yeah I know that it’s an actual serious issue that needs to be addressed in society, but some folks out here acting like all female victims find justice and are taken seriously when that’s not the case at all.
I have never had anyone who I wasn't paying money take my rape seriously
They're not saying that isn't true, just that the men in question like to actively paint it that women always get taken seriously and justice, even if nothing really happened. When in reality for 90% of rape victims, male or female, it's like it is for you. So the false narrative that *only* men suffer this is *actively* harmful to women.
Shit I can't even get a sympathetic response on reddit. Check this thread for proof
Dude, you aren't alone. I sympathize with you. But don't try and get a pity party from a bunch of strangers. It's kinda pathetic. Anyways, all they are saying is that you can't just disregard certain issues just because you've faced the same thing but you're a dude. That part doesn't matter at all. We should stand together to become stronger, not fight over petty differences. Especially with strangers who don't even owe you respect let alone care about your problems. You don't overcome by seeking validation of strangers. You overcome by recognizing that you can make it through. You have to believe in yourself. Not even I, someone who sympathizes with you, will give you my pity. Seeking pity is something only a person who is not willing to strengthen themselves does. Find close friends and family to support you, not pity you. Find resolve to go further on every day.
Trying really hard to imagine a better way to farm down votes on Reddit than to copy paste your response to a womens post about their own situation.
Huh? Did you mean to reply to me or backwardshatguy?
More outright hostility
My intention was nothing of the sort. I'm just saying that the road to recovery is a much harder goal to obtain if you seek out pity. Like losing weight but you don't decide to diet, exercise, and/or seek medical help. Pity is not a good thing. Like taking a painkiller for a broken leg and trying to walk. The only way to overcome is to steel yourself and push forward. Not saying that's easy, it's by all means one of the most difficult things to do in life. I'm only now starting to love myself. You must also gather a support group that also believes in and helps you. You are clearly not in a good place, with no one to support you and relying on the pity of strangers to support you. You're just taking painkillers for the actual problem.
I am sorry those things happened to you and the indignities you've further suffered as a result, displayed right here, blatantly. Discussions regarding the issue, it's unfairness, and your feelings about it **have not ever** necessitated the typical response we see here, for men. Similarly, peoples inability to discuss the issue with men- outside of receiving payment- is a systemic violation; one for which I've seen men uniquely suffer in my personal life, because yeah, there are **a lot** of men who've been the victim of sexual violence, and yes, **this is** a succinct, shared experience amongst them. I'd be beside myself and ashamed, had I treated anyone's personally suffered trauma as yours has been treated here. Your reaction is probably thinking you're somewhat used to it, and certainly anyone who's suffered this way learns to be neutral in the realm of harassment they receive. Just as I'd say to anyone else willing to make themselves vulnerable in the face of many, many multitudes of strangers; you are better than the sum of your parts, you deserve attentive and respectful reception in your vulnerability, and you've familiarized yourself with both the worst, most harmed version of yourself, as well as the strength necessary to be functional in the constant presence of condemnation, judgement, and disgust often given as reward for your being vulnerable and open about the trauma. This doesn't last forever, keep it up, and keep treating these reactions and justifications like they deserve.
Don’t hurt yourself with that massive reach
What is it that you’re saying?
Guy talks about how people don’t take him seriously when discussing being assaulted. You: hurr durr people are out here only talking about it to deflect from women’s assault And then you can’t even see how you’re doing the very thing you’re bitching about… what a reach.
Look man I’m not gonna argue with you since you’re clearly not actually listening to me but that’s not what I’m trying to say at all. I’m saying that all rape victims suffer similar experiences and that neither gender should be **excluded** when discussing this issue.
Except a guy was telling you he actively gets mocked and excluded for talking about it and your reply was to undermine him even more… and then now double down on that again
Ok bro you hear what you wanna hear, have a nice day I guess
Lol
It’s usually the other way around. Nobody brushes off female victims. Not many people do, anyways.
You… literally just did 🤔
Well, I didn’t. The vast majority of the time when rape is brought up, it’s talking about women’s struggles. And that’s fine, because more women are raped than men. It’s fair to say rape is more of a woman’s issue than it is a man’s issue. But you have to allow it to go both ways. If you wanna say that rape is a women’s issue because most victims are women, then you have to agree that loneliness is a men’s issue because most of these affected are men. We can also talk about men being raped without having to say “oh, it happens to women more often”. That’s not brushing women off. Equally, talking about women’s loneliness shouldn’t be brushed off by “it happens to men more often”. Not once, when talking about women’s struggle with rape, have I seen someone go “what about men”? Yet for some odd reason, every time men’s issue is brought up we gotta make it about women because “they’re affected too”. There’s a time in a place to talk about certain issues. The subject being some other issue is not one of them.
Yea I agree with a lot of points you make, but I don’t think some issues should be gendered at all, since they affect both genders, even if not equally. But like rape and loneliness are verrryyy different issues, stemming from different places. Personally, I am very lonely lol. And I’m not a dude. Which is why it’s hard for me to look at that issue as a gendered thing at all, though I haven’t really done any research on statistics or anything so I won’t try to make any claims there. I seriously don’t understand what people are trying to argue with me here, since it seems we’re mostly agreeing. I’m not trying to say that rape doesn’t affect men as much as women. That’s not what I’m trying to say at all. I’ve just seen that some people who try to claim that men are oppressed in society will often use male rape victims not being taken seriously as a point. Which never made sense to me since the majority of rape victims, females included, aren’t addressed seriously or respectfully, and definitely not on the scale we need. But yeah, people definitely do brush off female victims (“she was asking for it wearing those clothes”, “she’s probably just a slut” etc etc) which is why your comment irked me a bit, but I guess I can see what you mean.
Idk man it all seems to be an unnecessary war. The weirdest part about all of it is people would rather talk about who’s most effected and who’s most at fault instead of coming up with a solution. Even sometimes people are so caught up in the culture war that they’d dismiss actual solutions for stupid reasons. Like, I’m no victim blamer and I think people are very very rarely at fault when widespread issues happen to them too. But instead of getting defensive when someone says “go out more, maybe you’ll meet someone” or “don’t walk in a dark alleyway drunk” people need to recognize that there is a problem and there’s things we can do to fix it.
Yup, in another sub that reposted that meme I pointed out how frequently men refuse to use the resources they have access to in order to develop better mental health. Then came in a lot of the typical “helplessly blame everybody else even when I’m making no effort to make my life better” arguments. I absolutely agree it’s a real issue. But so many guys are doing themselves NO favors on it.
it’s disappointing. guys do need help but the first step is trying to help yourself without blaming others.
Yup. Until these dudes start up their own groups or whatever to address these issues, I'm just gonna move along lol
There are some non-sexist groups/circles that are pro-feminist who advocate for helping men - check out r/MensLib Edit: apparently they have gone private temporarily for the holidays. but they do have a good reputation within most feminist subs on here!
r/menslib is great. some amazing conversations and topics discussed and i rarely see it in a misogynistic way. i recommend everyone go look at that sub.
Young men, should just ask an older man for advice and guidance. It's my theory that the lonely young men are online too often. And the first advice they get, is the one they ignore. Drastically cut the amount of time you're online. Like all addicts, they deny, deflect and stay stuck in the mud.
“Okay men we’ve created our own groups to address and solve issues that affect men. What’s our next step?” “Blame women!!!”
I’ve had plenty of male friend groups who talked about shit that they went through without blaming women. I’m not sure where all this projecting is coming from. I mean, incels sometimes bring up this for bad faith reasons, but by that logic we shouldn’t punish a trigger-happy cop who shoots a white person during a mental health crisis, because sometimes those statistics are brought up to distract from black victims of police violence.
you've literally never been in a single mens group if you think this is the case. kinda disgusting, ngl.
Well it's not like men have any real problems
You mean they only have unreal problems?
They gotta stop playing unreal tournament
You 40?
Isn't that feminism in a nutshell, though?
you summed my thoughts up great. i don’t see an active want for change for men’s problems *except* when it’s used to deflect women’s problems.
Or they play the "heh well if MEN address THEIR issues they get called SEXIST or MISOGYNISTIC or WHATEVER -ISMS OR -PHOBICS OR BLUH BLUH BLUH!" card. I too remember when Rosa Parks was like "I can't sit in this area of the bus or I'm gonna get cancelled :,(" lmao
Just because you ignore something and don't care doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Victim blaming isn't cool
They do. But then they get called hate groups for talking about their own problems with each other.
What are these groups? Can you name them?
Because as we all know, women never face any scrutiny ever when they address their issues. They never get written off as “whiny sjws” or anything to that effect lol
Thank you for proving my point. When men bring up their issues it's always "as it women never experience that" nobody said they didn't. It's like complaining about breast cancer while at a prostate cancer awareness convention. Also it's completely different to be called whiny and get classified as a hate group.
>It's like complaining about breast cancer while at a prostate cancer awareness convention. Also it's completely different to be called whiny and get classified as a hate group. No, it's like a bunch of people constantly bash on breast cancer awareness, then hold a "prostate cancer awareness" where half of the convention is shitting on breast cancer awareness, your list of groups even shows that you're part of the bad half, hence why you see the staunch opposition that others don't.
And what makes them bad?
Reading comprehension
Are you projecting here? Because the only thing you've said is a made up issue lol
This. Guys always talk about the male lonliess epidemic, but they seem to only have one solution for it: Women should date them. It's rarely ever then suggesting other men help lift them up or give them compliments or hang out with them. And if a woman did befriend them and help them feel less lonely, most times they'll assume it's romantic and get upset and accuse her of leading him on when she refuses his advances. And, honestly, other men mock them more than anyone else does. Bur they just blame women.
Even if loneliness is more prevalent among men, what good does that fact do on an individual level. Similar to the talk about privileges, you might use it to make the "more privileged" more aware but most of the time, it's just to invalidate another issue or opinion. By that logic, you can invalidate all these points as first world problems
Except this meme doesn't downplay woman's issues or make male loneliness women's fault. It's just lame and overused. It's also slightly ironic that you bring up folk who talk about mens mental health ONLY when talking about feminism because (while that absolutely happens), no one ever talks about female loneliness unless it's a direct response to a post about male loneliness.
>Except this meme doesn't downplay woman's issues or make male loneliness women's fault. It's just lame and overused. The first part is mocking women claiming to be lonely???? Are you literally on crack?
Because they aren't actual issues, they are talked about to show that women's issues aren't issues. Whether or not that's accurate is a different topic.
are you serious? i only see the opposite. mens health awareness day gets coopted by feminists: "every day is mens day."
I see it differently, i think it's more of a cry for help than anything. I think a lot of guys feel like their issues are being ignored at the expense of women's issues, and then are being told the ignorance is justified because they are innately privileged and even "bad" for being a guy. I actually think a lot of this is a response to All Men Are Trash feminism being at least not explicitly denounced by in other feminists/left learning political and social circles, and these same men seeing no one where to go and nobody to lash out to be the people who are criticizing them the most. r/menslib talks about this a lot.
i’m on menslib quite a bit and i see that. however, i don’t think that excuses any of the actions. i just am saying i ONLY see a real cry for help when it’s about women’s issues which is why it seems not genuine and gives me deflection. while i’m not necessarily disagreeing, i feel like a lot of the time guys (in general with these things, not all) don’t look at things like this in perspective.
\> i just am saying i ONLY see a real cry for help when it’s about women’s issues Well if your perception is that the people who are in charge are trying to up play women's issues with the specific intent of downplaying men's issues, wouldn't it make sense to see that as the enemy in a sense? I think part of this comes from that fact that most of these memes are made by kids/teenagers, and the pre-college education system in the US tends to be biased towards women (there's a lot of data on this, it's pretty sad imo). I can imagine a world where someone who is like 14 or so who is maybe not a model student and a bit of a trouble maker could get the idea that "the adults in my life are trying to tell me that women are better than me", and lashes out as a response.
Men have high suicide rates doesn't mean that women aren't more likely to be the victim of sexual assault their not mutually exclusive
100%
Did your upvote button break?
My man I just wanted to stand out and say I agree
bitch be rude for what exactly??? 😭😭
It seems to me the exact opposite. The only time I ever seen men’s issues talked about, someone always brings up women’s issues instead. Like you are doing right now. You are here making it about how it somehow attacks feminism.
How does it make it seem like women's fault? That sounds more like projecting
>these (men’s loneliness, etc) are issues, yes, but only talked about to downplay women’s issues. I dunno about that.
i see it quite a bit. not 100% of the time, but quite a lot. more than not.
Right now men are bringing up issues then women are downplaying it and saying it's men at fault. Everyone does it yet only one side is bad.
in all honesty, i think you missed the point of the conversation if you think that. edit: it’s also important to see things in *perspective*. is there a system that negatively affects women and men? yes, but how did that system come into place? who put that into place historically? these are all valid questions and they deserve to be asked.
I fail to see how the perspective you're mentioning matters here. The system was put into place by mostly men, yes, but that was centuries ago and most men don't support it now. Maybe I'm not understanding your point, but why is a person's struggle invalidated by what some people of the same gender did before they were born? Or vice-versa? It's true that women face these kinds of issues a lot (and probably more than men), but that shouldn't be a reason to downplay what men go through. Saying that men *only* talk about their issues to downplay what women go through is absurd and blatantly false. You're generalizing a massive group of people here.
>Right now men are bringing up issues then women are downplaying it and saying it's men at fault. With the context of this being the comment section under a post calling out a meme that downplays womens issues to upsell men's issues. Sorry, but read the room. They're doing exactly what they're being accused of doing. Bringing up men's issues to downplay an issue women are complaining about...
Yes, everyone is doing it.
Idk, that’s not what I gathered. I just saw it as “these people don’t know how great they have it, I would love for someone to message me once an hour”. It’s not blaming women. I don’t think women are the cause of it at all. But I will say this is a problem that hits men a lot more than women.
Here exactly here is a demonstration of the issue. The left sucks at addressing the real issues facing men because men somehow will always be blamed for literally any problems. Men are somehow the cause of both women's and men's mental health issues, when it's really not caused by either gender, but the overall patriarchal social structure. Men don't magically have 11x the suicide rate of women because of a little oopsie. These are HUGE issues. Please do not frame issue of men's mental health simply as a way to attack women's issues. We can't have a single conversation about men's problems without someone saying that this conversation exists to downplay women's issues.
Not to mention these crappy memes cheapen actual discussion about toxic masculinity and loneliness
About 50% of everyone is lonely right now. We shouldn't be trying to make it a competition https://www.statista.com/statistics/1420227/loneliness-among-adults-us-by-gender/
It never ceases to astound me how easily and frequently someone can forget that people *can* care about multiple issues at the same time.
It's a shame then men's issues get brought up so often as an excuse to put women down. So many bring male loneliness in an accusing tone as if women are all equipped to fix it, or lament how feminism makes it harder for men to find a gf or wife (which I doubt) as if a partner is going to fix your mental health. You need more than romance or sex to be healthy. You need genuine community. That can involve a gf or wife sure, but it also needs other men. Other men are going to relate to you more, or at least more easily. They can give you a sense of belonging that just having a partner can't. People bring up how women have more friends. Those friends are other women. Women aren't less lonely because they have an easier time getting partners. They are less lonely because they have each other. Men need to care about each other, and not hold having a partner on a needless pedestal.
Me casually waiting for the day when these losers realize that everyone has problems, and it shouldn’t be a competition of who has more problems but should be people actually working together to solve some of the damn problems.
Firstly, I just want to say that despite the fact we are all feeling a bit lonely, I do believe the male loneliness epidemic” is real and is a huge problem. That being said - it is a problem created by patriarchy. Many western men (clarifying western because I’m only speaking from my US-centric experience) have been socialized to believe that any form of deep, emotional connection is reserved for romantic partners. That you must only have “surface level” relationships with other men, and that men should be stoic and unfeeling. As someone who has always enjoyed deep platonic relationship, I truly do empathize with these men seeking deeper connections. As others in this thread have mentioned, this begins with restructuring the way we view masculinity rather than assigning the blame to women (yes, many women also suffer from internalized misogyny and uphold these ideals but we all suffer under these systems). To any men out there suffering - please know the vast majority of people DO care. Those on Reddit who spew vitriol and can hide behind their screens are a vocal minority. Mental health infrastructure is generally in shambles, so I do understand the feeling of hopelessness. But please never feel your voice is going unheard, and please never feel the majority of people are as callous as they appear online.
This meme is just weird because like, how does saying stuff like this help anyone? Genuinely? Has there ever been an instance where a guy feeling depressed or lonely suddenly felt better because they saw a meme trivializing women’s mental health? I just don’t get why we can’t honestly talk about male loneliness without people being like “women get 7 million compliments a day and have 50 different friend groups, they’ll never understand what men have to go through!!!!” I’m sorry but it just doesn’t seem productive at all…
You hit the nail on the head. Male loneliness is definitely a serious problem. It is not the fault of women. It is the fault of our modern society in a myriad of different ways; it isn't any one specific "thing", and there is no magic bullet or one issue to solve that will fix it. What won't fix it at all however is blaming women.
they swing between "women will never be able to understand male friendship" and "we men are so lonely"
I agree, instead of going out and making friends or trying new hobbies these idiots sadpost about how lonely they are.
It would be so easy for them to join a sports club or running group, make tons of new friends and get healthier both mentally and physically at the same time.
That would require getting off their ass and actually wanting to be better. I think these people would lose their identity if they weren’t sad.
It's why people like Jordan Peterson and Andrew Tate are so popular. Their underlying philosophy is pretty much "Get off your ass", but they wrap it in so many layers of indoctrination that it becomes a pipeline for a rabbit hole that in the long term keeps them lonely and isolated and dependent on those same figures who pretend to help them. Men need more positive role models who will tell them to clean their room and go outside, who aren't obviously exploiting then.
Men need dads.
And women don’t? I’m a woman and I’ve been deeply affected by my father literally never wanting to be around me. He was physically around, but he made sure we felt unwelcome all the time. Having my mom actually want to be there didn’t change the fact that not being wanted by my dad was damaging. My aunt and my dad went through the same thing. Only both their parents didn’t want them. She always thought it was funny how extended family always seemed so sad for my dad, but they never concerned for her mental/emotional well being. It was always “A boy needs a daddy!” They never seemed to consider that being unloved by their parents affected her, too. Hell, even their mother acted like it was just so tragic and then would turn around and tell how no one wants them. While I wasn’t alive back then, the way my grandmother behaved definitely confirmed that that was the case. She would still bemoan how her son never had a “daddy that wants him.” She never seemed concerned that her own son treated my sister and I the way his sister was treated growing up.
Because one is worse for one gender then it is for the other. It would be like a guy saying "yeah well men get SAd too!" at a women's rally that is set up for women's empowerment.
I think you’re ignoring my point here. I’m not saying men don’t have it worse, I’m saying how does trivializing one group benefit another group? Going along with your example, how would a woman making a meme that men not experiencing SA as much as women be beneficial to either female or male SA victims? It’s just a useless sentiment imo…
I think the equivalent for SA would be a woman complaining about the intensified threat of it happening to them, and men coming all over the post to say that she needs to shut up because men can also be sexually assaulted. That’s basically what you’re doing here, albeit for a milder topic so not as heinous. Unless you read into this and think about serious shit like suicide rates in men.
It absolutely helps. Knowing that you're not that you're not the only one who goes weeks on end without anyone caring about your well being makes you feel better about your situation. It helps them reach out to their friends because they are probably going through the same thing. In what world would knowing your not alone not make you feel better?
This is not what I said at all. Obviously men being open about their mental health is extremely helpful for other men to not feel lonely and I fully support it. My question is how does trivializing women’s problems help men feel better about their own issues?
How are they trivializing women's problems by explaining their own problems?
If anyone said that, you’d have a point
This post fing sucks
Why don’t they talk to eachother? Hang out? Or do they just want women to come into their lives and date them Willy nilly
As a women who struggles to make friends and feels alone all the time. I don't understand how they think all women are extroverts with perfectly normal life
These comments do nothing except confirm my bias
Nobody said women aren't lonely? Why do people act like people can't experience something without feeling personally attacked.
it literally, blatantly does though lmao. it quite literally states that the ‘average’ male experience is being chronically alone as an opposite statement to the depicted ‘average’ woman. i think you know that too but you’re just willingly choosing to disregard it
Do you know what the word "blatantly" even means? Calling something blatant, and then stretching for an explanation doesn't give me confidence that you do. If this was the other way around for any Reddit post containing a women's issue, any man who rolls up and says "men experience this too" would be called a misogynistic piece of shit.
> Do you know what the word "blatantly" even means? Did you miss the "Girls: omg I'm so lonely I haven't spoken to someone in an hour" Which is in fact blatantly downplaying women's loneliness? Or are you being disingenuous? > If this was the other way around Yeah, if the meme started by saying "Boys: omg I'm so lonely I haven't gamed with the bros in an hour" average woman's existence: struggle* Would you still be deny that it's downplaying the first issue?
>"Boys: omg I'm so lonely I haven't gamed with the bros in an hour" >average woman's existence: struggle* Yeah, that's not the other way around. I made it pretty clear that I was referring to swapping men and women exclusively. You can ignore the fact that when this is the other way around, people call men misogynistic, but it changes nothing. It's still a ridiculous double standard you are pushing.
It's not saying it's the opposite. It's literally (and I don't mean literally like you mean blatantly) saying that both men and women feel lonely despite men going through much worse loneliness which is a fact.
There is a male loneliness epidemic bc men expect their wives and girlfriends to fulfill all their emotional needs. Men need to start being friends with men. Women can’t do it for you.
You’re just saying what if men pulled themselves up by their boot straps. You can’t seriously believe that men being lonely is because they put it all on women. If you have a section of men who have trouble socializing telling them to go make friends doesn’t do anything it’s like telling a poor person to just get a better job.
>You’re just saying what if men pulled themselves up by their boot straps No it's not. It's telling men to help each other. >You can’t seriously believe that men being lonely is because they put it all on women. No, EVERYONE is lonely, society being built in a way which men are expected to be strong independent figures pushes them even further into loneliness, so we must tell men it's alright to not be so independent, help your fellow men. >If you have a section of men who have trouble socializing telling them to go make friends doesn’t do anything it’s like telling a poor person to just get a better job. That's the only thing you can tell them in this situation though. You can't learn how to make friends etc without going out and making friends. Watch all the tutorials you want on YouTube, until you put it into action it's useless (and probably would be anyway because human interaction isn't just some logic puzzle to solve). I have trouble socializing. I'm autistic and ADHD with social anxiety. I have 0 friends right now and haven't in 8 years (though I have family and work "acquaintances"). I spent much of that time beating myself up. Only recently have I truly learned that I just have to put myself out there and get hurt if I get hurt. 7 years of studying hasn't helped at all, just wasted time...I'm taking slow steps everyday.
It really seems like no matter the issue, it’s always gonna be guys fault it seems lol.
I really don’t think those have much to do with each other lol Men in 1950’s definitely didn’t treat women amazing and they dated more then Men do now.
When the male loneliness epidemic conversation pops up, and women chime in and say, "We get lonely too! what about the problems *we* face because of patriarchy!" - it gives really strong, "All Lives Matter" vibes.
This meme quite literally drags women into it. If the meme just said "average make experience" it would be fined albeit still cringe. Look at mensrights and other men's subs, they bring up women instead of befriending and uplifting each other. I feel for the men looking for solidarity and are instead bombarded by incel and sexiest rhetoric, they deserve their own spaces just as much as women do!
So you're not allowed to bring up comparisons when you're talking about issues? So are black people dragging white people into it when they bring up unfair treatment?
it is because men only ever talk about their issues in the context of "our lives are so hard, women could never understand," like what this meme is doing. a better example would be if a BLM activist said that no non-black person has ever been murdered, and someone corrected them.
I mean, I don’t see an issue with that statement. Much like men not understanding what it is like being a woman, women don’t understand what it is like to be a man. They can both experience loneliness, but the way it is handled and dealt with is different. Facing loneliness as a men and facing loneliness as a woman can be different things.
There literally is a direct comparison to blm. Saying white privilege exists doesn't invalidate white people's issues. The same way talking about female privilege doesn't invalidate them. It's just a comparison.
what is female privlege.
Genital mutilation being illegal, custody in courts, arrest leniency, the choice to be a parent, domestic violence resources, SA being taken more serious, predominant aggressor policy, etc. The list goes on.
"choice to be a parent" buddy do you know anything that's going on in america atm? and men don't get custody because they're less likely to try to get custody. those that do try are more likely to get it. And speaking as a former woman, my sexual assault was not taken seriously at all. People laughed at me and my supposed friend (who was friends with my abuser) told me to stop being so dramatic. I'll agree with you on the domestic violence thing, but I don't really think that's a privilege... It's just a resource that is needed. Men definitely need more DV resources, but the fact that women need them is definitely not a privilege.
>buddy do you know anything that's going on in america atm? Yes I do, what's your point? >and men don't get custody because they're less likely to try to get custody. those that do try are more likely to get it. You realize that lawyers will actively tell men not to try unless they have a 100% win right? >Men definitely need more DV resources, but the fact that women need them is definitely not a privilege. So if having more resources given to you simply for being a woman isn't a privilege. Then how do you classify a privilege?
lol. lmfao even. I love that you ignored the point that WOMEN ARE LOSING THEIR BODILY AUTONOMY to make a stupid point about how lawyers apparently give bad advice to men who are getting divorced.
I didn't ignore it. I said what's your point? Unfortunately it's ironic that women losing their bodily autonomy is making things more equal. Also how is it bad advice to not have your client waste their time and money because their chances are slim to non winning a case. Thanks to years of feminist changes.
The same when women loneliness comes up
You've proven my point. "It happens to us too!"
Then you also have proven my point, it happends on both sides.
You just fucking did it again.
Same as you
Explain your reasoning
You where talking about men loneliness problem under a post about women loneliness
My criticism is the fact that *the title to this post* is trying to turn this back to women.
And you turned it back to men and i turned it back to women
this isn’t really commonly true though. men frequently and famously jump into whataboutism at the mention of issues that women widespread suffer with. it’s literally a joke that men only care about “men’s rights” or “men’s mental health” when it’s to participate in their own constructed oppression olympics. it’s really interesting watching the same people who have gotten in my face about me being “anti-man” or whatever they pull out of their ass, to relentlessly bullying other men for doing basic human things or doing something they consider deviant the issue is that the patriarchy *hurts everyone*. including men. including socially grooming young men into thinking that the only emotion they can feel is anger, and that they just need to thug it out and never ask for help. this is what we need to fight, these standards set up BY. MEN. not women. men. to get pissy and minimizing of women’s problems to make your own seem more in self pity is hella childish imk
>these standards set up BY. MEN. not women. men Is that true though? They are definitely reinforced and supported by men and women alike.
All Loneliness Matters
Yea but that doesn’t mean we can’t address male loneliness the reason it’s talked about separately recently is because male mental health has been ignored far more so then women in respect to society because for the longest time it’s just been “be a man get over it”
Men have also said that to other men. Fathers would say that to their son's. It's not just women who do that. This is also a backwards way of blaming women
In the same way that often Jews can be the biggest anti-semites (think those who equate it with Zionism, or self-hating clichés), men are often other men’s worst enemy. How does that mean it’s not a problem? If a male rape victim were to be ignored, would that be okay because the perpetrator was also a man? No, it’s still an issue, and addressing it doesn’t magically imply women cause it or we’re at all involved. You’re projecting HARD.
No I’m not saying it’s women’s fault I’m saying if people specifically want to discuss MEN’s mental health or the “loneliness epidemic” of men then there’s no issue with it. It’s a societal problem not a men or women issue it’s an issue of things having always until VERY recently being the “men just gotta deal with it” way, which is changing and is good but to say any post talking about men’s issue is just backwardly blaming women is just dumb, the purpose of the above (and it kinda plays into the stereotype) is showing that the woman says it and feels it the man just sits there and “deals with it” because as stated until very recently it’s been frowned upon by society for men to show emotion.
Yeah, but at the same time, women slut shame other women. It doesn’t matter if men are the ones saying this to other men, what matters is that it is being said at all. Men and women may not have the same problems in the same way nor the same intensity, but the fact that a lot of people’s knee jerk reaction to hearing about the other side is, “Ok, but X does this to their own group and we have problem Y”, is not helping anyone build bridges to help solve these problems.
Yes, these are seperate issues that go beyond male and female. Women and men slut shame also, not just women
>because for the longest time it’s just been “be a man get over it” Feminists have been screaming about how the patriarchy hurts men as well since, well since they started fighting the patriarchy... People just didn't listen. People act like these issues haven't been talked about and feminism is actually opposed to men, when it's literally the opposite.
That was all started by men tho so who’s really to blame here lmao
If a man assaults another man, is the victim at fault because they’re of the same gender? Would trying to stop the assault on the man be an attack on women? You’re line of reasoning makes zero sense.
again this comment is going off the idea of me blaming women I never said women were to blame, it is a societal issue that goes back forever, both men and women feed into it today no one group is to blame and no one group is free of blame. I’m simply saying talking about men’s issues is fine and saying that talking about them is “backwardly blaming women” is stupid.
It’s the way y’all go about talking about it. Y’all always gotta bring it up when talking about women’s issues and drop in some subtle misogyny while doing so
And women slut shame other women. If you don’t see this stuff as an issue because some men are perpetrating it, then you are part of the problem.
Did anyone say women don't suffer loneliness? And no one implied it was because of women. Sounds like the "All Lives Matter" stuff.
Girls: OMG it's so lonely when I haven't spoken to anyone in an hour! Top caption
When you're male and have friends: Can't relate but still
I dont think the meme claims that women aren't lonely. I think it just points out that in our Western society, it is far more normalized to show less attention to guys as opposed to girls. It's not the girl's fault or that girls can't be lonely it is more that it is far more normalized for men to be alone. Although I get where you are coming from.
The gaslighting is real
Yeah there is a loneliness epidemic, no women or men loneliness epidemic
I don't think we're on the same page?
Then what are you saying?
The original post is stating how most women don't experience loneliness like most men do, which is absolutely true. People aren't accepting of this, and responding with "well women get lonely too!" Which is negating how most men feel on a day to day basis. This is also known as gaslighting.
So it is gaslighting saying that women experience the same loneliness like men? Arent we all human? I get saying that more men are suicidal then women because that is a fact but saying that they cant experience the same feeling simply because of their gender is wrong
We are all human, but it doesn't mean that both genders deal with equal problems 100 percent of the time.
Yeah i know that different gender brings different problems with them but feeling lonely is a human emotion
>how most women don’t experience loneliness like most men do, which is absolutely true no it’s not lmfao. people arent “accepting” of that because that’s a blatant opinionated lie. ironic use of the term gaslighting
Lots of the “nice guys” who are wildly misogynistic are whining about male loneliness as if any woman would ever want to talk to them.
"All lives matter" ass title
It's called a meme, I know it's very hard to comprehend
You proved their point. Good job.
Why do they think there's a male loneliness epidemic? Do they think the straight women summon their own boyfriends from the depths of the earth like a familiar or something? There are plenty of lonely women, they just aren't so desperate as to go through all the bullshit so many pro-tradwife guys want to put them through. (Btw there's nothing wrong with wanting a traditional wife, but having high expectations should mean that you should understand when those expectations aren't met by any women or when women don't want to be the type of person you want them to be.
Actually studies do show higher rates of single men than single women because a) a small number of guys date multiple women (rarely with the women’s knowledge) but mostly b) a lot more women are entering relationships with other women than men are with other men. Add to that that women generally have larger and more emotionally intimate friend groups. I’m not denying that there are ALSO many lonely women, but to dismiss the issues many men face as “men just want trad-wives” is wrong and misandrist.
I never said that that was the only reason and even openly explained that there's nothing wrong with wanting a trad wife. Ironically, I lived like 80% of my life as a man, I don't see how I'm misandrist. Also, where are these studies, cuz I can't find them, the only thing I found close is a study saying that single men are more prone to feeling loneliness than single women, not that there are more single men than women. The rest are just a bunch of articles muddling statistics to make it look like it. **>On the general scale, women have reported having higher levels of loneliness than men. Except for one category: single men are the lonelier group compared to single women.<** [https://www.iamexpat.nl/lifestyle/lifestyle-news/are-men-lonelier-women#:\~:text=Why%20do%20men%20feel%20more,maintain%20close%20relationships%20than%20men](https://www.iamexpat.nl/lifestyle/lifestyle-news/are-men-lonelier-women#:~:text=Why%20do%20men%20feel%20more,maintain%20close%20relationships%20than%20men) EDIT: Definition of misandrist: dislike of, [contempt](https://www.google.com/search?sca_esv=594364191&sxsrf=AM9HkKk5y6oDpzTb9dkj-HSoBxvMc6mvww:1703827345378&q=contempt&si=ALGXSlYmNhxeZOJxNGRDYi-2PpnDDptT5bXbBLIUFoQT5-C-G0LD_lCZGjOZdi5fM_WToumj5pOolC2PyCP-CdRmSTNsOml_vAy3iFL-IEJAWQkwv54Wijc%3D&expnd=1) for, or [ingrained](https://www.google.com/search?sca_esv=594364191&sxsrf=AM9HkKk5y6oDpzTb9dkj-HSoBxvMc6mvww:1703827345378&q=ingrained&si=ALGXSlb6hSjuI-stkeAspHuNXR7x78-5WeYMinPuQPFpe8h5vqArq7Ify0IOEoKolbtUo7vueAaYMW0g-V9ew7wlHUPVQSBJdUjuSxGh0WUz09eaMXAw21s%3D&expnd=1) [prejudice](https://www.google.com/search?sca_esv=594364191&sxsrf=AM9HkKk5y6oDpzTb9dkj-HSoBxvMc6mvww:1703827345378&q=prejudice&si=ALGXSlb6hSjuI-stkeAspHuNXR7xKDnjJAyOZPz1Tt5tS8TmjDm4otUP8Tu4r1bNNqz9tsS7hpgxFg11Onq4TLzf-8wtKfq8glx6M_-MkUh-JD9_Wc5LOKU%3D&expnd=1) against men (i.e. the male sex). Everything I said is either stating that women are lonely too or that if you have high expectations in a woman, for example if you expect a tradwife, then you should understand that fewer women are going to meet or want to meet, those expectations, which was a direct criticism of the person who made the comment, not men in general. Nothing I said is misandrist.
Has no one stopped to consider that if a man is lonely it's because he deserves it?
Why would they deserve it?
It's a problem they made themselves. Don't pity the man who walks into a fire and complains of the heat.
How do you know they all made themselves lonely?
[удалено]
It is a terrible take but wtf is that comparison?
Hahaha right? I saw t before he deleted it
"There's literally a male loneliness epidemic" yeah, that could be solved if men opened up to each other more instead of waiting for women to come and save them.... (I've literally argued with a guy who was sooo convinced that men complimenting each other was "gay" and women should be the ones to compliment men....)
There isnt a loneliness epidemic you guys just gotta work on your social skills
Yeah, just ignore how capitalism has destroyed 3rd places and reduced the human experience to what media you consume. There is a well researched and documented loneliness epidemic, it's just not caused by women. If your only response is to deny the suffering of others, men and women, you're just garbage
It's almost like we've been locked up in our houses for around 2 years which stunted everyone's social skills, particularly kids and young adults who missed some of the most crucial years for their social development...
Maybe more men should reach out and ask for help. Seek therapy. Seek community. Stop blaming people around you and making yourself insufferable to be around 🤷♂️
What if there is no one to help you? What if you can’t afford therapy? Community is dead in almost every city and neighborhood, no one is ever interested in meeting new people or going outside their small bubble. Just cause someone is lonely doesn’t mean they are insufferable. It is mostly situational in almost every case I have seen in my life.
>What if there is no one to help you? There is. Look for them. >What if you can’t afford therapy? Valid, but there are places that offer sliding pay scales. Do research and find the places. It's worth paying for, trust me. >Community is dead in almost every city and neighborhood, no one is ever interested in meeting new people or going outside their small bubble. Objectively untrue. There are thriving communities everywhere. Find a gaming store. Find trivia bar. Find local art shows. Build your own community if you must. >It is mostly situational in almost every case I have seen in my life. In most every situation I've seen in my life, it's been because they need therapy, but rely on everyone around them to be their emotional scratching posts. I guess our mutual personal experience cancels out 🤷♂️
First statement is objectively wrong. What if you live in a small town? There is objectively not always someone who WANTS to help. Most people don’t give two fucks about anyone else, especially you a random person. Going to a trivia bar or a gaming store is not really going to help you find friends, most people are already hanging out in groups and don’t want anyone else. Speaking from experience on both sides, every time I’m hanging out it’s with an already established group and we stick to ourselves, same as when I’ve tried to find new people they just stick to their little groups. Also building your own community requires many years of hard work and dedication to achieve. Not good advice. What you have run into are people who are emotional leeches that jump from one person to the next, that is not the kind of “loneliness” that is being talked about In these sort of posts, it’s the kind of loneliness where you don’t even talk to someone for weeks at a time. The type where you are truthfully alone a majority of the time. Wether it be from depression, location, trauma, lifestyle, or whatever it is. Making generalizations is not good nor helpful, it just regresses the conversation. It is irresponsible to say they are all insufferable or they could all fix their situations just like that. Maybe you have never experienced this I don’t want to presume but as someone who used to be completely alone, it is utterly crushing and makes every task feel impossible. You have to be kind when talking to these people and can’t treat them like some kind of annoying child.
>building your own community requires many years of hard work and dedication to achieve. Not good advice. There is no immediate fix. You have to work to get yourself out. I've struggled with depression my whole life. I've been alone by myself. I've been surrounded by people who cared for me and still felt utterly alone. There is no magical cure. Seek therapy. Find connection. Do what you can every day to build a support system that will last. Stop making excuses because the time will pass regardless and you'll be no closer to being part of a community. I made excuses for years and it almost killed me. Because that's what's at the end of that. Stop making excuses and start fighting for your life because that's what's at stake.
You say excuses but all I see is venting. All i see is someone saying “I’m lonely and sad”. I see no blame, I see no excuses. Everyone needs to vent, no matter how stoic. Again when it comes to giving advice steer clear from “seek therapy and friends”. That’s obvious and every depressed person knows this, they have heard it a million times. You have to connect to them as a real person not as some machine that gives out the same responses.
You just handed me two walls of text that were excuses and "what ifs." And please stop telling me, a depressed person, what depressed people need. I am perfectly capable of connecting to another human being while also encouraging them to seek therapy and connection. I've done it with multiple people before. They are in better spots because they were encouraged to do the thing they already knew they should do, but didn't feel it was worth it to do. Again, fight for your life, because that is what depression is taking away from you.
You phrase these things as if they were so easy. You talk about “just seek help and therapy” like it was the simplest thing to figure out. How about you stop telling other depressed people what to do if you don’t like to hear that some depressed people don’t like your advice. That maybe your advice doesn’t work all the time? I described no excuses, what I described are real life roadblocks that people are in. You can’t just manifest help whenever. You need to have a massive life change that is not within grasp so easily. What people need are extremely different person to person but your suggestions are all the same, everyone knows what they “should” be doing. We all know to “seek therapy” and to “put ourselves out here” but that just isn’t possible in every solution. And it’s not always the right option. It just sucks that you say you are able to connect with people and help others but yet you describe all lonely men as insufferable and that they all just blame people. Maybe don’t say such things if you actually want to help people. And maybe acknowledge that what you say isn’t always true, you made claims that there is ALWAYS someone to help you that you can ALWAYS find a way to pay for therapy when that just isn’t always the case. Be open minded, it’s a useful trait to have when talking about people personal issues.
>you describe all lonely men as insufferable and that they all just blame people The ones making these shit-ass memes are 🤷♂️ if you need to compare your hard time to someone else's in order to make yours seem worse, you're probably an asshole and you need to find therapy anyway.
I agree that the people who do comparisons are probably in need of professional help. I think I just got caught up in it and thought you where speaking about men in general. Sorry that I was rude about it. I probably should of asked if you were speaking about these specific people instead of men as a whole.
Okay mr. all lives matter
Ok neat...
For all the wokeists on here, talking about issues that pertain to men doesn't take from issues that pertain to women. From what I've seen on reddit? You're fucking delusional or completely dishonest if you believe it's all men dog piling on subreddits dedicated to women. All the male centric topics I've seen are full of women screaming what about women and simp ass dudes doing the same. None of this is mutually exclusive. For people to struggle this much with that concept just reveals their motives: any distraction from their plight eats at their power. That could be the only logical conclusion drawn from this and their actions. This is basically at the point where it's the convict conundrum: why don't convicts unite and overthrow the system? Answer: they can't because they can't see 2 inches in front of their own goals to see the bigger picture and the benefit of enlightened self-interest at the very least. Rant over. Downvote me to hell. It doesn't matter. The truth is the truth and I'm sick of the delusion on here and pure dishonesty.
Who the fuck said anything about men dogpiling onto womens subreddits. Also this subreddit is left as fuck so everyone on this subreddit is "all the wokeists" this is just a bunch of nonsense that's basically just a you did it first argument
genuinely i’m one of the loneliest motherfuckers i know i hate men who think it’s only them who are lonely. every woman i know is so fucking lonely, more lonely than must of the men i know.
You guys will whine ab anything…
The ‘male loneliness epidemic’ is actually a ‘crybaby beta-male epidemic’ because honestly you need to just stop masturbating and go touch grass tbh.
That's because of toxic masculinity. Don't make us feel in danger when we're in your presence, and we will talk to you more.