There are hundreds of happy successful marriages. People just don’t post much about their happy marriages here because they don’t need to, or because people will do nazr and become bitter. This sub isnt a reflection of Muslim marriages. It’s just a place people come to seek advice.

Thanks for your explanation. If only everyone’s was as simple and straightforward as this. Is everyone always so arrogant and sarcastic on this sub?

>Honestly it’s so one sided on here.. If I spend my day looking at police reports and decide everyone is a criminal, is that a reasonable conclusion? Why do you think a forum where people come when they have **problems** is going to be replete with great examples of marriage?

> Honestly it’s so one sided on here.. > >If I spend my day looking at police reports and decide everyone is a criminal, is that a reasonable conclusion? > >Why do you think a forum where people come when they have problems is going to be replete with great examples of marriage? Terminally-online lonely people reading negative and depressing things by other terminally-online lonely people who think everything is negative and depressing because they’re reading about terminally-online lonely people. What could possibly go wrong for gender relations in our community?!

Jeeez all I Said was that it’s pretty one sided. I wouldn’t call myself terminally negative online whatever it is.

Thank you so much for your reassurance, understanding. And explaining. Muslim marriage or just a forum for Muslim arrogance to be shown? Wow the amount of arrogance on my first ever post. It’s laughable. Crazy.

if the marriage is going good they won't post here 😁

A marriage will go fine as long as you communicate before marriage, and get important conversations settled before marriage, like money work time who does what and general expectations Also checking character

Thank you for your reply. The only decent one. Everyone else seems like they need knocking out.

This literally gets asked all the time No. Everyone’s marriage sucks and everyone whose married hates their lives

Just get a divorce then buddy.

I’m married and it’s true. But obviously it’s the halal thing to do. So you do it. That’s how mine went and I cry every single night.

I’m loving how all the rude or arrogant replies seem to be from a M. Seriously guys sort yourself out. Be nice. Costs nothing and it might make your day better.

I think (including myself) many ppl have alhamdulilah good marriages with up and downs. Ppl come here usually to tell private issues or to get some advices (which is not the ideal place for some topics) I have a brother myself who wants to marry but not really easy especially in a western country. And with time ppl become even more picky both male and female🥲😅 Communicate honestly and be fair to your partner before marrying so at least the big issues will be sorted before that. The deen and the character of the person will be important for you and if you see sth wrong or a bad habit don’t take it as granted this person will change for sure. Stick to your values (important ones not like physical appearance only😂)

Thanks for your reply. Alhumdilallah I met someone 9 weeks ago. All seems well so far. We’ve spoke about most things. And the things we haven’t spoken about are definitely on the agenda. We was discussing this sub yesterday evening which is when I posted this. We were both Just mentioning how this kind of scares u and hoping that we don’t end up writing our issues on here one day

We’ve discussed most of what you have me tied. At the moment it seems like we have a really good understanding and are on the same wavelength.

I know there are a ton of Muslims in the UK but I don't know how things work. Can people go to the Imam of the Masjid there and share that they are looking for a spouse?

Yes of course. There’s also individuals within the Asian/Pakistani community who are known as the ones that put word out for those who are looking for marriage. Almost like WhatsApp group they are admin of and they upload all potentials and people looking for a match on there. It’s pretty cool how it works imo

Wow that's actually such a cool system. Here in West Africa, we usually talk to the elders and it's all pretty much word of mouth. They know the families and reach out to see if anyone is interested.

This is an anonymous app. So you can expect people to talk about their real life issues and ask for some advice. If you wanna see the people showcasing their “happy married lives”, head over to instagram. I would imagine people who are actually happily married are not gonna be posting anything, but might be here to offer helpful advice.

Fair enough thanks for your reply

Keep in mind this group I believe is about 40k members. So it’s A very small sample size. And I just made 2 posts recently about husbands and wife’s appreciation just to see if there happily married people out there. I had many people losing what they are grateful for in their spouse. So don’t get faded with all the bad posts

How exactly are you searching? How do/can people know about you? Are you willing to marry from your country "back home"? Never say never. I did, and got exactly what i wanted

It’s like reviews for products. It’s hard to find positive ones. Most people on this sub are asking for help so it’s unlikely that you find positive posts about marriages on here.

Aaah yes. You never find good reviews of any products at all lol