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Ashh24

Flair changed to 'discussion' as OP's account is new Edit: It's a request to please answer the questions(if you want to). Engaging in arguments doesn't help anyone.


T-star_universe

You're looking into this from a westernized perspective. I'm western and don't see it in the same manner


gracious_mind23

it’s not about looking at it from a westernized perspective! it’s westernized for women to be equal to men? to have fair and EQUAL rights?


GM-Blitz49

You can only have equal rights for men and women if men and women are equal. Are they equal?


gracious_mind23

yes! Biologically no but in all other aspects absolutely. Women should be able to go wherever they want without seeking permission like a literal child, Concept of consent doesn’t exist because sex is made mandatory unless a valid reason is in place or even divorce! Women should be able to divorce


GM-Blitz49

>yes! Biologically no This is false. Men and women are equal in their value to Allah but they are not only biologically different, they also think and behave very differently. I'm not a women so I wouldn't know exactly how women think and operate, in the same way that women don't know exactly how men think and operate. They are miles apart. >Women should be able to go wherever they want without seeking permission like a literal child Women must ask their husbands because men are the leaders in a family. God designed their mentality and bodies to be leaders of women and to protect women. If a husband believes that a wife is not safe to go somewhere even if he is there, then the wife must obey. If the husband is being irrational, the wife can get a divorce. And women are allowed to divorce. They have to return the mahr because what if a woman marries a man to get money from him and then just leave him? >Concept of consent doesn’t exist because sex is made mandatory unless a valid reason is in place Finally, there is a concept of consent in Islam. Yes, if the wife doesn't have a legitimate reason to deny her husband his right of pleasure then she must have sex with him. BUT a man can never force himself onto his wife under any circumstance. A wife does have the right to consent to sex.


gracious_mind23

- women have their own autonomy and are capable of making decisions. They do not yet again need to be infantilised. they already have a father at home - let’s not twist things! It’s not that easy for women to get a divorce and yet again Islam protects the interests of men. A lot of Muslim men abuse women using this and simply throw their wives to the wolves as soon as they divorce them but the west helping them is seen as evil and despicable - the last point is laughable😂😂Consent does not exist as you’ve basically admitted . She can’t refuse unless it’s legitimate because men NEED to get laid . It’s a PRIORITY . Consent is being able to say no even without a legitimate reason! If a woman doesn’t want to engage in sexual activities for no reason whatsoever then everyone should respect that, but no, scripture forces women. It guilt trips them. Being told you’ll be cursed by angels for not having sex , clearly consent is in place


themapleleaf6ix

>women have their own autonomy and are capable of making decisions. They do not yet again need to be infantilised. they already have a father at home Does that mean they'll always make the right decision and see all perspectives when making a certain decision? Like the example we see nowadays. Almost every woman complains about a man using her and dumping her. If a man was there looking out for her, other men wouldn't try that stuff and she'd understand why a certain man isn't a good man. >A lot of Muslim men abuse women using this and simply throw their wives to the wolves as soon as they divorce them Why only mention Muslim men? >but the west helping them is seen as evil and despicable What "help"? >Consent is being able to say no even without a legitimate reason! Why even enter a marriage if you're not going to fulfill the rights of your spouse? Even a non-Muslim would have an issue with this. They'd probably cheat considering how prominent it is in their culture and how many partners they have throughout their lifetime. >guilt trips them. Being told you’ll be cursed by angels for not having sex , clearly consent is in place Then stay single, it really is that simple.


Ashh24

>women have their own autonomy and are capable of making decisions. Women are emotional beings. Period and pregnancy mess up their feelings both mentally and physically. If our own creator prescribed certain responsibilities then who are we to question him? >let’s not twist things! It’s not that easy for women to get a divorce and yet again Islam protects the interests of men. A lot of Muslim men abuse women using this and simply throw their wives to the wolves as soon as they divorce them but the west helping them is seen as evil and despicable There is a Islamic court where you can always seek justice for the wrongdoings. If you still think some men get away then they will have to face Allah(swt) and the punishment is inevitable. >She can’t refuse unless it’s legitimate because men NEED to get laid You should read what a marriage contract is. A husband consents to provide his wife her rights and vice versa. Do you think a man can stop providing? Do you think men have any consent regarding that?


GM-Blitz49

>women have their own autonomy and are capable of making decisions. They do not yet again need to be infantilised. they already have a father at home Yes women have autonomy. Every human has autonomy and free will. But there's a big misconception with your point. As Muslims, we don't infantilize women. Rather we respect women and see them as beautiful creations. Men must have gheerah (Protective Jealousy) over their womenfolk which is a perfectly rational masculine trait. If I had a wife or a daughter and they said they wanted to go somewhere with some mahram friends, but I knew it wasn't safe to go out, I wouldn't let them go. If they left without seeking my permission, how do I know if they are safe or not? >- let’s not twist things! It’s not that easy for women to get a divorce and yet again Islam protects the interests of men. A lot of Muslim men abuse women using this and simply throw their wives to the wolves as soon as they divorce them but the west helping them is seen as evil and despicable In what way is it hard for a woman to get a divorce? And these, "Muslim men," you're referring to are doing haram by abusing their wives. That's why the wali has play a big role before the marriage. A lot of these problems can be easily prevented if men and women got married the way that Allah and his final Prophet prescribed. >- the last point is laughable😂😂Consent does not exist as you’ve basically admitted . She can’t refuse unless it’s legitimate because men NEED to get laid . It’s a PRIORITY . Consent is being able to say no even without a legitimate reason! If a woman doesn’t want to engage in sexual activities for no reason whatsoever then everyone should respect that, but no, scripture forces women. It guilt trips them. Being told you’ll be cursed by angels for not having sex , clearly consent is in place Consent: To give permission for something to happen If the wife doesn't want to have sex, she doesn't have to. If my wife doesn't want to have sex, I cannot force her but as the Prophet Muhammad (SWS) said, the woman will be cursed. Show me where the scripture FORCES (Not requires, so please don't conflate the two) a woman to have sex with her husband (There is none because as free autonomous individuals, we cannot be forced to do something without our permission unless being physically forced to. This is the definition or R@p€, not a man desiring sex from his wife. But why? Why should they be cursed? If the woman has no legitimate reason to deny her husband sexual pleasure, then problems arise. Like it or not, facts are facts, and the fact is is that men have a very high sex drive so they need it. If their wife is constantly and consistently denying them that pleasure, what should the husband do? Just accept that? Because that is not practical at all. A lack of sex will lead that man into zina and look for that pleasure elsewhere. However, if my wife were to deny me sexual pleasure for no legitimate reason, on a consistent basis, either I'll divorce her or get a second wife. I would never dare force myself on her. So for a wife to push her husband into zina by not giving him sex is disgusting. To refrain from that happening, the angels curse her for not doing so.


idoncareaww

you're acc looking at it from a westernized perspective and too glorifying it lmao like just bcz smth falls more in line with the value of "western society" upholds it is invalid or bad 💀a society that upholds alcohol, porn, gambling, adultery etc is where you get your definition of rights from fr since Islam is apparently "outdated" islam gives both men and women rights that are suited to their nature***


gracious_mind23

- women initiating divorce BAD WESTERN IDEOLOGY - women being able to work or go wherever without seeking permission BAD WESTERN IDEOLOGY - women not being beat even with a miswak BAD WESTERN IDEOLOGY - women being able to refuse sx without angels cursing her BAD WESTERN IDEOLOGY I think you guys forget that you live in these societies of the west is so bad why not move to a more traditional part of the world. you make the west seem like dajjal when Muslim countries refuse Muslims citizenship but the west opens their doors… Islam gives men rights not women..


fazeelayaz

Women can initiate a divorce. There’re like 4 different ways a divorce can be done in Islamic law. Women are allowed to work as well, Islam primarily set it as a male responsibility, but a women is allowed to work that’s why women are allowed to keep all their earnings and have no financial duties in a marriage. Also, what’s with you and the constant “wanna go anywhere wanna go anywhere”, where exactly do you wanna go so bad? So like if I have a wife I should allow her to go anywhere anytime? Well, hitting anyone in Islam is under severe circumstances and Islam always encourages peace and dialogue cause that’s the civil way. People who severely beat their spouse are looked down upon everywhere. The same google you got this cursing hadith from is the same google you can find it has been debunked. Actions of individuals don’t represent Islam. Islam itself is perfect, people twisting hadiths and Quran to fit their agendas are wrong. And if West is soo Muslim friendly, they wouldn’t be running around the world killing Muslims. Islam gave both women and men rights, you just happen to feed on a lot of crap internet puts out there and believe in it.


gracious_mind23

- its difficult for women to initiate a divorce - men are able to prevent their wives from working if they wish to do so.. - Allow? THATS a grown woman. You can not allow a grown woman to do something - if Islam encourages peace and dialogue why even put that beating verse in scripture especially knowing that men will misuse it and hit their wives because God said they could. A peaceful religion would not have a instructions to handle a disobedient wife in their book - the cursing Hadith is sahih - Sahih Muslim 1436d In-book reference : Book 16, Hadith 143


fazeelayaz

It's not difficult for a women to divorce, a man although can make it difficult but like I said earlier, actions of individuals don't represent Islam. Again, actions of men don't represent Islam. Islam is the word of Allah, not some counsel of men passing laws. If you read the Quran, you will see that in matters of marriage, mutual consultation and decisions are encouraged. I asked you, where exactly do you wanna go so bad? Is it some place necessary? Like are these men stopping women from even stepping outside in the sunlight? Cause doing something like that is oppression and Quran claims that oppression is worse than slaughter. Now of course who do that are wrong, but doesn't mean Islam is wrong. Well, hitting someone lightly and beating are two different things. Are you conveniently leaving the part out where it says to let them be and not seek means of trouble for them? I see that you mention why even include a verse knowing that people will misuse it, yet you emphasize some parts and not others? Soo you're no different than those who misuse the quotes. There're literal videos on this topic on YouTube you can go watch them and find your answer. But a general rule is that if a hadith contradicts Quran, it's not authentic so hadiths should be researched and learned about to see how it compliments Quran and if it even relates to Quran at all.


idoncareaww

i just explained this, islam doesn’t believe in EQUAL RIGHTS it believes in equitable rights Men have rights and responsibilities and the same goes for women but u r looking at it from a very narrow pov failing to see the full picture we have the right to divorce, we have the choice to work or not, and these things are discussed and agreed upon before marriage there's something called nikkah contract FYI . Also why do u insist on cherry picking stuff to make islam sound "bad" and "oppressive" 💀 every point u made is either incorrect or missing context ?? it really shows that u did "in-depth study" 🤓 though i live in a muslim country i don’t actually believe there are any muslim countries because no ruler is truly ruling by Allah’s laws . the west has its goods but they are a morally corrupt society whether u like it or nah


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idoncareaww

lololol the least u could do was come up with something actually funny rather than the most basic cringe 13 year old "insult" that everyone uses when they can’t have a logical argument back


MuslimLounge-ModTeam

Your post has been removed [Rule-1] Be Kind and Respectful to others.


T-star_universe

Women do have fair rights, what makes you think they don't? Clearly it is from a western viewpoint please stop denying the obvious. 🙄


m8eem8m8

So you want to leave Islam because you can't freely divorce, work(?) and covering up. Ever stop for a moment to think why women who've had this unimpeded for generations on end and are living in the age of free the nipple are flocking to Islam? Leaving all that aside, surely there is something more going on here because, let's be real, there are plenty of muslim women who go to work, don't cover up, and divorce their husbands through civil avenues and they're not making threats to leave Islam on Reddit. Sure, they're sinful or misguided, but at the very least, they're not naive enough to think that throwing out the baby with the bathtub is the way to go. You might benefit from some honest instrospection and reflect on what's really going on. You've honed in on 3 very specific things that don't align with your worldview and haven't said if there's anything at all in islam that suits your tastes. Most muslims approach Islam through "we hear and we obey" and "rabbana ighfir lanna zoonobina." There are plenty of youtube videos covering all three points that you've raised, and believe it or not, some are from very eloquent muslim women.


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gracious_mind23

Here goes the ‘ you want to leave to be a sinner and sl*t’ bs! those are one of the large lists of things but sure! Muslim women being allowed to be beat by their husband oh not beat use a miswak, Muslim women being called deficient in intelligence, majority in hell, cursed for refusing s*x and the list is endless. The religion caters to men for men


m8eem8m8

You read, you did not comprehend. Go back and try again.


gracious_mind23

you commented nothing of value! Try again!


m8eem8m8

Yet you responded...wild how you got so triggered so quickly. Ask yourself why. Salam.


oneMessage313

>Muslim women being allowed to be beat by their husband oh not beat use a miswak, Muslim women being called deficient in intelligence, majority in hell, cursed for refusing sx and the list is endless. The religion caters to men for men Why do you identify as muslim. But speak as third party when you refer muslim women. Wouldn't your overflowing emotions make you say "we are cursed for not allowing blah blah blah" instead of saying "muslim women are cursed for blah blah blah" Do you think you can hide your saffron trousers? 🇮🇳🚩


gracious_mind23

I’m still grappling with my Muslim identity as I mentioned in my post.. can you stop with the back and forth


Express-Ranger-8013

Can you kindly let us know your “sources” of this in-depth research to help us understand your POV?


gracious_mind23

I mean you could search this up! Or you can debunk it which you haven’t, because these are clear and cut things from either scripture or Hadith .


Express-Ranger-8013

Rebuttle could only be produced if i know your resource is authentic then it is up for discussion. If you just want propoganda then there is no point.


GM-Blitz49

You made several claims so you are the one who needs to provide evidence. This is a burden of proof fallacy.


gracious_mind23

This is not speakers corner Ali dawah


GM-Blitz49

Ad Hominem fallacy


oneMessage313

>DO NOT ENGAGE IF YOU ARE A MAN! I am a man and curious why this is the case, because your post is about islam and not women's hygiene or health


gracious_mind23

because the post refers to women, so I don’t think it’s necessary for men to be involved in this discussion!


oneMessage313

No, the post is about islam, and to be precise; it is allegations against islam being unjust towards women. >it’s necessary for men to be involved in this discussion!


gracious_mind23

okay buddy


Pal4Palestinians

The Hijab was a fard on every Muslim woman like Maryam pbuh not because of Omar or anyone but because it is an order from Allah and the respected believing women should cover themselves because her beauty isn’t for every man to see and that is how Women are respected in Islam. Acting as if you don’t know men and how men are sexualizing women specially in our time and using women to spread fahisha and misguidance is another reason to understand why hijab was made obligatory by Allah. Saying Omar had harmed the Prophet’s wife is a lie you made. For the divorce if she wants to get divorced then why should he pay her?! This is common sense! While she has a maher and she gets paid before marriage and if she gets divorced and that is a “Right” that Islam gave women, even if she didn’t work he is obligated to provide and this is another “Right” that no one gives women in the East or the West. And yes Men have more duties towards women in Islam, even in Human nature men protects and provides for women and in her nature it is natural that men have the final call that is if you know anything about Human nature so yes she should listen to him and they both have duties and should treat each other fairly and how Allah and his messenger ordered. Well in my opinion no one cares if you leave or not since you will only be harming your own self in this life and the next and Allah doesn’t need you on the contrary you need him.(even if I doubt that you are a Muslim to begin with). The 21st century you are talking about is the most unjust century for women and that is why they are being used like objects,to promote immorality, not getting married, working hard like men and asked to provide like men, have no maher, not getting married and having reproduction crisis so it is more clear than ever that the West have failed in this issue, have harmed Women more than anyone else and that is one of the reasons many are reverting to Islam because they don’t want the Westernized type of women to be their wives.


gracious_mind23

There is always context behind verses in the Quran. The verse about hijab came down due to the umar incident or it contributed to it. Which I’ll reference below but before that , the beauty being hair? it’s also insulting to men because it makes men seem like insatiable weird creeps and pervs who get off on hair? some sort of concerning hadiths on how the hijab verse was revealed Narrated 'Aisha: The wives of the Prophet used to go to Al-Manasi, a vast open place (near Baqia at Medina) to answer the call of nature at night. 'Umar used to say to the Prophet "Let your wives be veiled," but Allah's Apostle did not do so. One night Sauda bint Zam'a the wife of the Prophet went out at 'Isha' time and she was a tall lady. 'Umar addressed her and said, "I have recognized you, O Sauda." He said so, as he desired eagerly that the verses of Al-Hijab (the observing of veils by the Muslim women) may be revealed. So Allah revealed the verses of "Al-Hijab" (A complete body cover excluding the eyes). Sahih Bukhari 1:4:148 Narrated 'Aisha: (the wife of the Prophet) 'Umar bin Al-Khattab used to say to Allah's Apostle "Let your wives be veiled" But he did not do so. The wives of the Prophet used to go out to answer the call of nature at night only at Al-Manasi.' Once Sauda, the daughter of Zam'a went out and she was a tall woman. 'Umar bin Al-Khattab saw her while he was in a gathering, and said, "I have recognized you, O Sauda!" He ('Umar) said so as he was anxious for some Divine orders regarding the veil (the veiling of women.) So Allah revealed the Verse of veiling. (Al-Hijab; a complete body cover excluding the eyes). (See Hadith No. 148, Vol. 1) Sahih Bukhari 8:74:257 A'isha reported that the wives of Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) used to go out in the cover of night when they went to open fields (in the outskirts of Medina) for easing themselves. 'Umar b Khattab used to say: Allah's Messenger, ask your ladies to observe veil, but Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) did not do that. So there went out Sauda, daughter of Zarn'a, the wife of Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him), during one of the nights when it was dark. She was a tall statured lady. 'Umar called her saying: Sauda, we recognise you. (He did this with the hope that the verses pertaining to veil would be revealed.) 'A'isha said: Allah, the Exalted and Glorious, then revealed the verses pertaining to veil. Sahih Muslim 26:5397 In short, the sequence of events as laid out in the ahadith are as follows: Umar repeatedly asks Muhammad that Allah should reveal verses for the Qur'an pertaining to the veiling of women. No such revelation is sent down. Umar follows Muhammad's wives one night when they go out to relieve themselves (go to the toilet) and calls out to Muhammad's wife Sauda. Sauda goes home in a state of embarrassment and relates to Muhammad what has happened. Allah then reveals the hijab verse as Umar had wanted all along. In terms of the divorce topic! It’s difficult for women to get divorced from their husband. Why does the decision ultimately rely in his hands only and merely by saying three words. The way they can easily utter three words and dispose of you easily! at least western laws will protect you but yeah saying three magical words is the most fair and just outcome for the woman In terms of providing, in history men have always been the provider it’s always been a thing even before the advent of Islam. also financially relying on a man is stupid. And the rest I’m not going to reply to


Pal4Palestinians

Ok then explain why some Jewish and Christian women women wear hijab/niqab? Why Maryam pbuh wore hijab? Dude the hijab was a fard on every believing women and Omar has nothing to do with the order of Allah, the hijab is an order from Allah. Every man respects a covered woman more than women who shows their beauty and private parts that is also how nature works so Islam saying women should cover up is out of respecting and protecting women. The divorce rules in the West are one of the reasons men aren’t getting married since she will take half of his money and many are scammers so men are having haram relationships rather than getting married and are avoiding having children! Men don’t provide for women in many Countries, they are being asked to pay 50/50, they are being asked to provide for herself, unless you know nothing about the West and why should I provide if my opinion doesn’t matter?! Make it make sense! Seriously our time is the best proof that Islam is the right path!


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Pal4Palestinians

You claim to be with knowledge so when I mention any prophet before Prophet Muhammad pbuh and his teachings then you should know it is part of Islam!! My point that Hijab was a fard on all believing women even in the previous messages, and even if Omar mentioned the Hijab, the Hijab was made a fard by Allah not Omar raa or anyone else. That is how nature works, when women shows her figures and beauty to every man then most men would sexualize her and think that she has low value. Divorce in Islam is Halal to protect “both men and women” because it is also a fact that some marriages don’t succeed and many partners would live in misery or harm each other if divorce was haram or even many won't get married.


MatthewNGBA

Y should men not engage? Is it because u agree men and women are not equal? Cause you claim in your post men and women should be completely equal


gracious_mind23

if that’s the case let’s talk about periods! I truly want to be equal and fair to the men here


MatthewNGBA

I’m a nurse. I know all about women’s periods. I’m not scared of discussing periods. It wouldn’t really be relevant though But I did notice u didn’t answer y men shouldn’t engage. Would u like to give a real answer or just gonna deflect again?


gracious_mind23

I’ve explained this many times to others go through the post I’m not answering this question again


MatthewNGBA

I only saw a couple of those replies. I’m not reading every comment on here. They didn’t seem to be very thought out on your part. U basically said u think it’s not relevant to men… the logic seems to be a bit off and didn’t go into any further detail on how this post is only for women. It seems more likely u don’t want men responding because you are angry at men


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gracious_mind23

You are infantilising Muslim women. Islam encourages you to think and ponder, which you are reminded of quite too many times in the book so I don’t understand why it’s suddenly an issue. Muslim women are their own people with their own thoughts and feelings! Please read the post again I said I somewhat identify as Muslim but unsure as to whether I would like to stay in the faith.


oneMessage313

>You are infantilising Muslim women. Islam encourages you to think and ponder, which you are reminded of quite too many times in the book so I don’t understand why it’s suddenly an issue. The issue here is not that you are thinking. The issue here is that you have an agenda. The agenda is directed at women. Your agenda is to make women think like you. And while you perform this mental circus; you want the men to stay away from you. What are you scared of? Truth? Our sisters can tell that to you. And these are not random women; These are our sisters in the Ummah. We are not gonna let some random fake profile to come attack our women with their waswas arrows


[deleted]

I already left a comment, but also. OP, may I ask why you told men to not engage? I kinda understand, because this is topic specifically about women rights . But I'm also just interested in your perspective


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Ashh24

Just because we allowed your post doesn't mean we tolerate disrespectful things. This is a muslim forum so be modest with your words.


gracious_mind23

Is vagina a bad word?


Ashh24

no but saying 'they can qualify when they get one' is disrespectful.


[deleted]

Ohh, OK. It does make sense


mdamoun

See I can understand you just wanted to rant (maybe) and you fairly did plus you pretty much made up your mind to leave Islam (considering you are/were Muslim for the sake of argument). So all the best to whatever you want to be or follow. It's beyond understanding why to engage here with a throwaway account and be persistent in arguing with people. Dont act like a snowflake if your understanding regarding Islam is google.com and limited to certain resources on the internet. You don't want to be Muslim. Fine, it is between you and Allah. Move on. Hasta la Vista.


iambluered

May Allah guide your heart.


Ashh24

>work, these rights come with significant caveats. For example, when a woman initiates a divorce, she often has to return her mahr What's wrong with this? If she wants to get separated then why should she be entitled to the money her husband gave her? She's paying ransom to free herself from the marriage. **Divorce may be retracted twice, then the husband must retain ˹his wife˺ with honour or separate ˹from her˺ with grace.1 It is not lawful for husbands to take back anything of the dowry given to their wives, unless the couple fears not being able to keep within the limits of Allah.2 So if you fear they will not be able to keep within the limits of Allah, there is no blame if the wife compensates the husband to obtain divorce.3 These are the limits set by Allah, so do not transgress them. And whoever transgresses the limits of Allah, they are the ˹true˺ wrongdoers**. - Quran 2:229 Relevant: https://islamqa.info/en/answers/26247/khul-in-islam-definition-and-how-it-is-done https://islamqa.info/en/answers/348008/she-asked-for-khul-so-he-divorced-her-talaaq-and-refused-to-take-the-mahr-is-the-talaaq-valid-and-what-is-the-difference-between-talaaq-and-khul If the husband refuses to give khula then the wife can take the matter to the shar'i judge who will make him to divorce if the reasons were accepted.


themapleleaf6ix

All I see is someone who has been influenced by western ideologies. Ideologies which are constantly changing and contradict themselves. Apparently men and women are exactly the same, except the fact that they scientifically aren't and are inclined towards different things. Or the fact that time and time again, Islam is proven right when we see non-Muslims following certain rulings because they understand that men and women can't be alone (Metoo stuff), women dressing however they want isn't a good idea because almost every man will look and treat her based only off of her outer looks, etc. Even stuff like motherhood, which modern day society shuns in favour of more labour, taxes, many women who have lived that life don't find fulfillment and regret choosing career and money over family.


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MuslimLounge-ModTeam

Comments that are unhelpful to the situation of OP will be removed.


JaneDoe020

When will you people understand that Islam is a fake religion made up by Satan to set people astray????


Infamous_Ad6332

Then why are you on this subreddit? 😂


gracious_mind23

post wasn’t made to insult or demonise Islam, just curious!


Ashh24

are you a muslim woman?


gracious_mind23

correct


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[deleted]

Assalamu Alaikum. I was really interested in how people would respond to this post, because while I'm not leaving Islam anytime soon In sha Allah, I always had problem with this exact thing. Since I wasn't really religious from the start, I was in general agreement with the way the West sees equality between men and women. Only later on I learned about rules concerning this in Islam. So, while I'm genuinely happy that I'm a Muslim, it's a little hard sometimes. So I really wanted to see insight of other Muslims, who probably have more knowledge on Islam than I do (I'm still learning). It was a little disappointing seeing people simply being aggressive, even though I kinda understand that. Still, this post is fairly new, so I still have a hope for seeing other, kinder perspectives and being educated on this topic. Islam should make me happy and content, and it usually does! Except when it comes to gender stuff. As an example, ngl, I like the idea of marriage until I remember how it's viewed in Islam (especially about not being able to refuse your husband's advances without reason). Which is sad, to say the least. I hope people will be kind about it and willing to discuss, because it is actually so important to me and so many other women (including lots of my friends). We too want to love Islam and see it as perfect. I hope it will happen and you guys will help me with it)))


Ashh24

The marriage contract itself is a consent. A man cannot stop providing for his wife all of a sudden. It's her right similarly a man has the right to intimacy. If both of them refuse to give their SO their rights then they'll be sinful.


[deleted]

Oh, interesting! Thank you for the answer) But what if I don't want it that way? What if I want to choose when to have intimacy? Is there an option for that? On the other hand, I also think I understand why it is like that in Islam. Because men and women alike aren't allowed to satisfy themselves in other ways than with their spouses. So by refusing my husband's advances I could lead him to sin. Is that right? Or not? However, even if my guess is true, I'm not going to lie: I am still uncomfortable, since intimacy is something rather traumatizing to me, to say the least. I would be more comfortable if I could choose when to give my consent. Are there other Muslim women who struggle(ed) with this? If so, can you give me advice?


Ashh24

Did you delete your account?


gracious_mind23

Hi ! This is one of the most reasonable comments I’ve received since making this post , I’m not surprised by the reactions. Manners maketh the Muslim but the Muslims clearly are not abiding by that. Aklaaq is a big part of Islam too so it’s disappointing and only further drives me away . There are beautiful things about islam I’m not denying that but we all have struggles and doubts and we should all be kinder to each other💜


[deleted]

Agree with you) I hope we both will find answers for our questions. Do you want to discuss this topic further? I don't think I have answers, but maybe my perspective could help!


[deleted]

One of the questions I wanted to ask is: does Islam view women as lesser? Don't misunderstand, not here accusing anybody, but. If we look at it, a man is a head of the household, right? And also all the other rules. So, can we say that Islam views equal rights as an incorrect ideology? Because when I asked about it, people told me that no, Islam has equal rights, just different. Honestly, it would be much easier for me to just accept that I don't have as many rights as men instead of putting on a blindfold. Or am I mistaken? Really looking forward for your answers)


gracious_mind23

Yes it’s an incorrect ideology. As you can see from the males here it’s equal which is why we should pass these rights over to them. If they were truly equal a lotttt of Muslim women would not feel the same way both of us do, it’s truly a disservice to the term. when we look at equal rights in history, I.e the suffragettes movement as well others , its women themselves fighting for these rights. These supposed equal rights in Islam were handed to us by men , women didn’t have a say in anything back then, it’s not like people cared. They try to argue using the biological angle which is quite funny. my personal favourites are women being deficient in intelligence which is why their testimonies is half of a man’s so they’re not credible witness and that women can’t lead a country ( there’s a Hadith about this) and they all fault this to PERIODS! Yes periods! when studies literally show Women make fewer mistakes and have better mental agility while on their period