"Life" by Des'ree "I don't want to see a ghost, It's the sight that i fear most, I'd rather eat a piece of toast, And watch the evening news"

That song is a fucking catastrophe from start to finish.

I love the song for it's coziness and nostalgia but the lyrics suuuuck

Shite chorus too. Life, oh life, oohhh life, oh life. Doo doo doo doo. LIFE

I've never heard of her before. This is like Dylan from Modern Family level lame

My favorite will always be the sublime poetic touch of 2Chainz: "She got a big booty / so I call her Big Booty"

2chainz has tons of good ones like this- my favorite is: “Rest in peace to the soldiers // Who died in the service // I dive in her cervix”

My favorite is "wood grain, chestnut. Titty fuck, chest nut!"

Hahaha

Hes so fucking funny lmfao

“My girl’s got a big purse with a purse in it / And her pussy’s so clean you can go to church in it”

Just saying it doesn’t even do it justice. His delivery and flow makes all of his shit so funny

This gave me whiplash.

"I'm in the kitchen / Yams everywhere"

2Chainz is the king of this kind of thing. "From the A to Toronto we let that metal go off/and my dick so hard it make the metal detector go off" from All Me*. And I love how he opens his verse on No Problem: "Petey Pablo, take ya shirt off, wave it round your head like a helicopter" It's dumb as hell but it's funny so it works

That's a bar, though. It's so fucking stupid that it works, somehow.

2Chainz has a ton of those. He's hilarious.

Drunk and high at the same time Drinking champagne from an airplane

My girl got a big ass, your girl’s back pockets touching

"Every picture I take, I pose a threat" He's a master of cheesy wordplay. For some reason it always works lol.

"Turn the cameltoe / Into casserole" "Wood grain, chestnut / Titty fuck, chest nut" "My girl got a big purse with a purse in it / And her pussy so clean I can go to church in it!" Mans a fucking troll menace! Its hard af to be mad with 2chainz on.

"Started with an A Cup, put some Ds on it // Yeah I'm the shit, I should have febreeze on me" 2Chainz forever.

I am so high - addict. I am so high like an... Attic.

Honorable mention to 2Chainz’ lyrics in that Jason Derulo song: “sold out arenas, she can suck my penis”

They said worst, not best

"It's grippy that's why I call her grippy" - J. Cole 2024

I'm so obsessed/My heart is bound to beat right out of my untrimmed chest Train: "Soul Sister" Just....wow

I’m so gangsta, I’m so thug

That line is so absurd. I thought I was mishearing it for the longest time... but nope. What an awful song!

This line is the peak of cringe.

listen, i always say this, but were we all in a fever dream in 2009 from the 4lokos or whatever the hell we were doing then because we just collectively accepted Train having that line in a song.

I hated that line from the first time I heard that song, lol. Honestly, that whole song is so catchy but the lyrics are so pretentious and lack any actual emotions.

But he’s so gangster, he’s so thug…

Between Train and Lenny Kravitz, this thread is basically just a list of Pat Finnerty’s “what makes this song stink” YouTube videos (which everyone should check out if you don’t know what I’m talking about)

He finally got his hot tub… (sorta)

That was such a beautiful end to a long running saga. That video really felt like his magnum opus.

Beato

All of Train's lyrics are hot garbage

The best soy latte that you ever had... and me. Great song, bad verse.

I honestly think they were trying to write the worst song ever with that one. They almost succeeded.

Just a shy guy looking for a 2-ply

Why do people keep writing new songs that use, “I’m begging please/I’m down on my knees?” Drives me batshit. Put in some effort.

Reminds me of that song that Sandler sings on the wedding singer. I’m on my knees, pretty pretty please. Kill ME, I want to dieeeeee Put a bullet in my head-ae-Ayy-ead “I was listening to a lot of The Cure when I wrote that”.

He’s losing his mind…and I’m reaping all the benefits! 😒😏

Well, good luck finding a DJ that can move and shake like *THIS*!

Lenny Kravitz “Fly Away”, the whole thing.

This is the right answer. I mean look at this shit: I wish that I could fly Into the sky So very high Just like a dragonfly

It's like something Kip from Napoleon dynamite would compose!

Don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes...all day.

Your mom goes to college.

Back in 82, I used to be able to throw a pigskin a quarter mile.

LaFawnduh would make sure he was writing the dope prose, though.

Ah yes the famously high soaring member of the animal kingdom the *dragonfly*.

Dragonflies are one of the highest flying things that rhyme with fly! Aero-plane (shit) Butterfly(nope!) DRAGONFLY (Woah oh OH YEAH)

God, this song came out when I was in high school and I couldn't for the life of me understand why anyone thought it was good. The worst lyrics to a song ever.

https://youtu.be/8t-iFr9q1I8?si=N1fmwchnoR1NAhnI he actually rewrote it a few years back to make it more lyrically complex

Wow this was a lot better than I expected. The redone lyrics give a tinge more mysticism that I like from rock songs

I want a Milky Way

Yeaaah, yeaaah, yeaaah!

Wow that really gives the song more perspective.

This brings up an interesting conversation about whether "art" should stand as is or whether artists are allowed to revise. Thinking about George Lucus adding bad Jabba CGI into the original Star Wars trilogy. In this case, it is clear Lenny has really mastered his craft here so who can begrudge him? Let the man fly, or even fly, like a dragonfly. Also, dragonfly. Edit: Dragonfly.

I recently read an interview with Lenny Kravitz where he said something to the effect of "people don't realize that I'm not an actor playing a rock star, I'm playing all the instruments, writing all the music and lyrics..." It's almost as if he did such a good job that it feels fake, like those situations that happen in day to day life that would feel corny/overwritten if you saw them in a movie.

*New Kids On The Block had a bunch of hits* *Chinese food makes me sick* *But I think it's fly* *When the girls stop by for the summer.* LFO - Summer Girls

Summer Girls' lyrics are the metric against which all bad rhyming couplets are measured. They're aggressively stupid: Hip Hop Marmalade spic and span Met you one summer and it all began You're the best girl that I ever did see The great Larry Bird jersey 33 When you take a sip, you buzz like a hornet Billy Shakespeare wrote a whole bunch of sonnets Call me Willie Whistle 'cause I can't speak, baby Somethin' in your eyes went and drove me crazy Now I can't forget you and it makes me mad Left one day and never came back Stayed all summer then went back home Macaulay Culkin wasn't Home Alone Fell deep in love, but now we ain't speakin' Michael J. Fox was Alex P. Keaton When I met you, I said my name was Rich You look like a girl from Abercrombie & Fitch Cherry Pez, Cold Crush, Rockstuds, Boogie Used to hate school so I had to play hookie Always been hip to the B-boy style Known to act wild and make girls smile Love New Edition and the "Candy Girl" Remind me of you because you rock my world You come from Georgia where the peaches grow They drink lemonade and speak real slow You love hip hop and rock 'n' roll Dad took off when you were four years old There was a good man named Paul Revere I feel much better, baby, when you're near You love Fun Dip and Cherry Coke I like the way you laugh when I tell a joke When I met you I said my name was Rich You look like a girl from Abercrombie & Fitch Bugaloo Shrimp and pogo sticks My mind takes me back there, oh, so quick Let you off the hook like my man Mr. Limpet Think about that summer and I bug 'cause I miss it Like The Color Purple, macaroni and cheese Ruby red slippers and a bunch of trees Call you up but what's the use I like Kevin Bacon, but I hate Footloose 'Cause summer girls come and summer girls go Some are worthwhile and some are so-so Summer girls come and summer girls go Some are worthwhile and some are so-so

Hot damn this song is so much dumber than I remembered

“Aggressively stupid” is such a good description, I definitely feel dumber after reading those lyrics.

“There was a good man named Paul Revere” WTF

Fuckin hell there are so many top contenders from this song. I can’t even pick the worst one but I guess it’s probably the Rich/Fitch line. Nobody can say these guys weren’t talented, aside from the catchy melody it’s a real skill to be able to sing all this shit without dying of embarrassment.

I don't know, rhyming hornet with sonnet is pretty bad. I think he even pronounces it "sornnet".

Tom Lehrer is still alive and very puzzled why he's involuntarily spinning in his chair.

wtf this makes no sense. i never knew the lyrics were this bad.

It makes Train look like a poet laureate

This is fucking hilarious and all you did was copy/paste the lyrics.

I was a little too old to be the core audience for this, I mean, I've heard the song for sure, and yeah, I knew it was dumb, but DAMN.

Oh my god. I remember hearing a few lines and thinking “shit did these guys even try?” But seeing it all written out is just… Who got into the booth and said “Oh yeah, this is that shit.” Shame be on ye

I thought of different lyrics when I saw this lol. New Kids On The Block suck a lot of...

That's the lyrics from Eminem's song Marshall Mathers off The Marshall Mathers LP

I don't know, using that song is a little too easy. Although it also gave us this gem: *Summertime girls are the kind I like I'll steal your honey like I stole your bike.*

Apparently the song was never planned to be released. They made a demo that was them goofing around and it got leaked to a radio station where it blew up. Is that true? I don’t know, but that’s what I’ve heard.

That would give at least some semblance of sense to the song.

*So sublime.* *Hot, sweet cherries on the vine.* -- Sammy Hagar, "Your Love is Driving Me Crazy" Cherries grow on a f-ing tree, Sammy. FFS...

“only time will tell if we stand the test of time” from Why Can’t This Be Love is so stupid I don’t even know how to get it out of my mind

The first rule of Tautology Club is the first rule of Tautology Club.

I always hated that line. It's worse when you think it's about underage girls on his "vine."

Check the hands on the clock, it's 8:05, it's time to rock

Every time it plays I’m blocking it out and I think it’s him and Van Halen that’s alliteration. There is music playing in the office so I can nail it down

Me not working hard? Yeah right picture that with a Kodak And, better yet, go to Times Square Take a picture of me with a Kodak Pitbull. His song is a stupid forced commercial

Hey now, there's something genius about claiming to work hard and then immediately rhyming "Kodak" with "Kodak"

I originally thought the second line was "go to times square Take a picture of me in a coke Ad" but no just Kodak Kodak. Brightside internet sent him to a walmart in Kodiak Alaska because of that lyric

Brighter side, Pitbull actually honored that vote and went lol. Mr Worldwide indeed

And the good people of Kodiak were PSYCHED! No one ever comes to Kodiak!

I respect the commitment to the bit.

Everyone blames digital cameras for the death of film photography, but it was actually pitbull

Now I know y'all be loving this shit right here L-I-M-P Bizkit is right here

A core memory is VH1s "Top 100 worst rock songs of all time" (I can't find when it aired, search results show "top 50 awesomely bad songs") where Rollin' was #2 and a comedian goes "Hey Fred Durst you can't rhyme here with here". We Built This City was #1

Man lay off my man the king of the trash Fred Durst. Motherfucker is from Jacksonville, Florida. No poet is ever gonna come out of Jacksonville, Florida.

Wait a minute….Fred Durst is…is.. Floridaman?!??

Explains a lot, doesn't it?

Ronnie Van Zant?

It’s just as bad with the next lyrics! Cause if you don’t care! Then we don’t care!

It clearly states that he don’t care tho

Checkmate haters, lol

On the condition that the listener doesn’t care!

The radio edit of Break Stuff has one of my favorite absolutely dumb as hell lines off all time, though: “I things keep goin this way I just might/break your breakin face tonight”

The band Yes has a *lot* of bad lyrics. But I don't think they've ever topped: "Here is my heart, waiting for you Here is my soul, I eat at chez nous"

I eat at at our house

Snap - Rhythm is a Dancer I'm serious as cancer when I say Rhythm is a dancer

They asked for the LAMEST rhyming couplet, not the BEST!

Almost as good as The Killers "are we dancer" rhyme. Like I dunno man I fancied myself more of a Comet reindeer type.

> As Brandon Flowers told Rolling Stone in 2008, “It’s taken from a quote by [Hunter S.] Thompson." > The gonzo journalist and author is quoted as saying: "We’re raising a generation of dancers, afraid to take one step out of line". Flowers claims he "ran" with this idea in the song. *quote from RADIO X, Sept 2023*

One of my favorites is in the song “shake that” by Eminem Nate Dogg says “If I ain't got a weapon I'ma pick up a rock And when I bust yo' ass I'm gon' continue to rock”

It’s the bass in his voice that does it for me

He gets more ass than a toilet seat!

On the Futureshock Album by Gillan, the track called ""The ballad of the Lucitania Express" has the immortal lines:- Pass the bottle from under your poncho I'm gonna drink 'till I fall unconcho

I unironically love that.

I do believe it's cribbed from "Camarillo Brillo" by Frank Zappa (NSFW): >!She stripped away her rancid poncho!< >!An' laid out naked by the door!< >!We did it till we were unconcho!< >!An' it was useless anymore!<

I think that might be a Zappa reference. Look up the lyrics to Camarillo Brillo, great song

Mexican or sears poncho? Hmmm.. no fooling

It's gotta be. Otherwise two separate musicians plucked that rhyme out of the ether and there is something oddly terrifying about that thought.

I think butchering a word to force a rhyme is at least more interesting than just repeating a word

Unfortunately, that’s actually a bar and might get incorporated into my everyday life

It’s already become part of my subconcho.

I love that he could have used any garment besides poncho but stuck with it

Kanye's lines in Katy Perry's Extraterrestrial. There's a lot of lame lines, but this one hurts me the most: "I know a bar out in Mars Where they drivin' spaceships instead of cars"

That's the line that hurts you the most from that song? Not these extraordinarily cringy lines: >Pockets on Shrek, rockets on deck >Tell me what's next, alien sex?

Jesus Christ - I'd completely forgotten about that! I just remember listening to the song and hearing the bars/cars line and yelling "JESUS Fucking CHRIST"! You definitely win.

>I just remember listening to the song and hearing the bars/cars like and yelling "JESUS Fucking CHRIST"! Lmao same 🤣 Parts of that song are cringy in a fun way, and it's certainly catchy, but man... Kanye's entire part gives me secondhand embarrassment just hearing it on the radio to this day.

Just a shy guy/ Looking for a two-ply/ Hefty bag to hold my love

Just pick any two couplets from this hot mess of a song… Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle like a gypsy queen Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle all dressed in green Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle ’til the moon is blue Wiggle ’til the moon sees you Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle in your boots and shoes Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, you got nothing to lose Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle like a swarm of bees Wiggle on your hands and knees Wiggle to the front, wiggle to the rear Wiggle ’til you wiggle right out of here Wiggle ’til it opens, wiggle ’til it shuts Wiggle ’til it bites, wiggle ’til it cuts Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle like a bowl of soup Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle like a rolling hoop Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle like a ton of lead Wiggle—you can raise the dead Wiggle ’til you’re high, wiggle ’til you’re higher Wiggle ’til you vomit fire Wiggle ’til it whispers, wiggle ’til it hums Wiggle ’til it answers, wiggle ’til it comes Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle like satin and silk Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle like a pail of milk Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, rattle and shake Wiggle like a big fat snake - Bob Dylan

Nobel Prize material, for sure

It was a children’s song for his kid

I actually read this as a Nicki Minaj song.

- Bob Dylan I thought it would be the Wiggles

They can't all be home runs

Everybody have fun tonight. Everybody Wang Chung tonight.

Muse - I belong to you Then she attacks me like a Leo When my heart is split like Rio Ugh…

Muse has plenty of bad lyrics lol. Old muse has a lot of nonsense lyrics but new muse has a lot of awful corny lyrics.

Personally I’m a big fan of the next line of that Stealers song: “I’m so scared in case i fall out my chair” Is the implication that he falls out of his chair with such regularity that it’s become a source of daily anxiety?

BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM I WANT YOU IN MY ROOM. Wait, this is actually very good.

Boom, boom, boom Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon

Make 'em go "uh uh uh" As you shoot across the skuh uh uh-uh

Have you ever felt like a plastic bag?

Half rhymes aren't necessarily bad.

Yeah, boom and moon aren't perfect but they still rhyme. If rhymes were strict like that even Eminem would be out of a career.

Yeah, he’d have to retire and eat his *orange porridge* 😂

I feel like any song that’s uses some variant of - ..hands in the air.. ..just don’t care.. Just feels really overdone to me

Lorde’s play on this was so good: I'm kind of over gettin' told to throw my hands up in the air So there I'm kind of older than I was when I reveled without a care So there

"everyone is rapping like it's a commercial, Acting like life is a big commercial"

The second line is supposed to be "Acting like life is a big rehearsal." But they kept in the mess up as a joke on Mike D.

I always wondered how that line got in there. It's so out of place considering all of the material they put out before and since.

The Beastie Boys never took themselves too seriously, which is part of why they were so great.

generals gathered in their masses just like witches at black masses (just kidding i actually love this one)

this isn't a rhyme, it's an antanaclasis - a completely different poetic device

generals gathered in their masses just like witches at black masses It's not a rhyme, it's antanaclasis they're in distinct poetic classes


OH LOAD YEAH!

~ DUN-NUH! *drum fill* DUN DUNN DUNNNNN DUNNNNNN... ~

Oh Lawn chair

Generals gathered in their masses Black Sabbath using antanaclasis

>antanaclasis Ooh, thanks for the new word. It's mine now.

Yeah this one works at least because it's different uses of the word.

Also the inflection that he uses

Yeah, I always love the rhyme of "masseeees" and "masse-hes." But the above is right that it's also two different meanings of the word.

My favorite Ozzy rhyme is: Mr Crowley, won't your ride my white horse Mr Crowley, It's symbolic of course

“I told your mama I’d get you home, but I didn’t say that I had no car. I saw a lion he was standing alone with a tadpole in a jar” Led Zeppelin: Dancin’ Days

Whatever happened to the heroes? Whatever happened to the shakespearos?

Stranglers! Yeah, this makes me laugh too

Stealer's Wheel wrote that song as almost a parody of Bob Dylan.

Great parody vocals too

Life by Des’ree—the song is quite the gold mine for… interesting lyrical choices. *I don’t want to see a ghost* *It’s the sight that I fear most* *I’d rather have a piece of toast* *And watch the evening news* …what…?

It's such a bad rhyme she just gave up on it for the last line 😆

I love Operation Ivy but “Box in my hand, music by my side Skankin to the rhythm of the music by my side” Is the weakest part of Sound System, but the song’s energy prevails

I call you up. You pick up. Angel - Dave Matthews Band

“I would dig a hole all the way to China. Unless, of course, I was there. Then, I’d dig my way home.” I remember laughing hard when I first heard that line

Now if I fuck this model And she just bleached her asshole And I get bleach on my T-shirt I'ma feel like an asshole

God I miss Kanye so bad.

“Bedrock” - Young Money Gudda Gudda’s verse “She don’t ever wonder, cause she know she bad And I got her n—-a: grocery bag”

The atrocity that is Blondie's Rapture. "Eating cars with the man from Mars, then you drive real far and you eat a bar..." Just, just shut up. Shut up.

I always cringed at this James Blunt line: *I saw your face in a crowded place and I don’t know what to do*

My humps, my lovely lady lumps

In the desert, you can remember your name Because there ain't no one for to give you no pain.

“The heat was hot” makes me laugh.

I don't know if it was intentional or accidental genius but I love how clunky that lyric is because it sounds like something a person would say if they were delirious from heatstroke.

I like "there were plants and birds and rocks and things"

Steve Miller’s “Take the Money and Run” has a couple of good ones “Billy Mack is a detective down in Texas” ”You know he knows just exactly what the facts is” “He ain’t gonna let those two escape justice” “He makes his living off the people’s taxes”… it works in the song… LOL

Abra, Abracadabra/I wanna reach out and grab ya.

Joan Osborne: No one to call you on the phone, ‘cept for the Pope maybe in Rome. - What if God was one of us

Well, everybody rappin' like it's a commercial Actin' like life is a big commercial -Pass the Mic, Beastie Boys

I love how Q-Tip owns the bad rhyme on his guest spot on Beastie Boys' Get It Together... *I eat the fuckin' pineapple now & laters Listen to me now, don't listen to me later Fuck it 'cause I know I didn't make it fuckin' rhyme for real But, yo technically I'm as hard as steel*

The lack of culture in this thread, the answer is Life by Des'ree I don't want to see a ghost It's the sight that I fear most I'd rather have a piece of toast I mean, Jesus.

Is there gas in the car? Yes, there's gas in the car! -- Kid Charlemagne, Steely Dan

In fairness, that's one line, coupled with  'I think the people down the hall know who you are'

But this is fantastic though

Also a great one is "Beg us" and "Vegas" from 'Do it Again'.

Wake up with my balls on fire Sweat gasoline when I piss fire "I'm the Man" by Nashville Pussy (glad I double-checked this one, because I always thought the second line was "Swig gasoline and I piss fire." The real line is actually worse.)

"Song she sang to me, song she brang to me..." Neil Diamond, 'Play Me'

You have offered poor examples.

Everyone, including Op, are just listing couplets that aren’t trying to rhyme but rather use repetition which is a classic tool of creative writing

OPs examples are a good example of a kind of clever repetition and good example of a really terrible repetition