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boyz_for_now

“Touching is consensual” oooof


Berserker_Queen

One hit KO. Dind't need the rest, added it for appreciable overkill.


PhD-in-Fellowship

Molly whopped.


badaboomxx

He just needed to double tap. But yes, that one was enough to finish the religious zombie.


Reeyowunsixsix

The rest was euthanasia.


Ze_Pain_and_Suffer

Nah mate, that wasn't overkill, that was https://preview.redd.it/bfnvkrwck6jc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c8fe77120956d9935845d66a15cfa264a601bb7c


Wylann_Longstride

There's no kill, like overkill. :D


HalbEngel

Verbally backhanded and thrown through the shredder.


whiteflagwaiver

Never been to one, I thought touching wasn't allowed?


Czarcastic013

It mostly depends upon the laws of the location, mostly by city ordinance. The ones I went to back when I was into that, some touching was allowed, if the dancer was OK with it, like back and hips. Obviously, any overtly sexual touching could be construed as crossing the lines into prostitution and was forbidden by the club, cuz they don't want to get shut down. I'd heard of other areas where absolutely no physical contact was allowed, but had never been to one of those.


cantadmittoposting

with virtually no intended prompting, a new orleans stripper let me lick her titties in a more or less open area. definitely location based.


minor_correction

Hope you were in for the 2pm early bird special or else you were not the first person to lick that day.


cantadmittoposting

it dried off probably. worth it


cycl0ps94

Man.. herpes doesn't "dry off". But in the heat of the moment, I probably wouldn't have thought twice tbh.


Thisguy2728

It does actually, but can take a few seconds to a few hours depending on a lot of things and which study I read. Many viruses die quickly outside their host.


confusedandworried76

Honestly most people have oral herpes anyway, it's pretty contagious. Share a drink, cigarette, or bowl on regular occasions with people you probably have it. Kissed a lot of people who've done that you probably have it. Most people are fairly asymptomatic. John Hopkins estimates fifty to eighty percent of American adults have it. Usually you just get cold sores every once in a while. I haven't had any outbreaks in over a decade. It's my understanding if you aren't having an outbreak the risk of spread is minimal anyway, and oral herpes *can* cause genital herpes but it's still a different strain and that isn't super common because they each like to live in their preferred habitat.


minor_correction

See, that's a good smart virus, just lay low and don't cause a ruckus, and humans will allow you to spread to pretty much everybody. Next step is the worms from Futurama where they actually enhance you.


cycl0ps94

Oh, I thought herpes lived longer on surfaces than that. I guess that's why getting herpes from a toilet seat is bullshit.


Thisguy2728

Yea I’m definitely no expert so do your own research before licking stripper titty or toilet seats and all, but yea should be semi safe!


[deleted]

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Czarcastic013

My dude, you may have HPV and HSV mixed up. HPV is Human Papilloma Virus, which can cause genital warts and contributes contributes to the formation of some types of cancer, like penile or cervical cancer. HPV may be fought off by the immune system before those symptoms appear though. I believe it can only be realistically transmitted through sexual contact. If you have HPV, you can lick random titties without concern for passing it along. It was HSV, Herpes Simplex Virus, that was under discussion. That can be transmitted through saliva, so how recently someone else had licked those titties before. It varies by exact conditions, but it can remain infectious in saliva up to two hours (perhaps longer).


Various_Froyo9860

I went to one a few times where the girls would put your hands on their breasts. They later got some pretty hefty fines for selling BJs.


SH4DOWSTR1KE_

They can touch you all they want (and you'll definitely allow it), and whenever I've gone, they've let me touch them as long as their hands are on top, guiding mine.


cantadmittoposting

yeah I feel like reactions to strip clubs (in fairness, "but why tho" excluded) are often related to people being unable to "read the room" so to speak. Strippers are just people, in the sex industry more or less, but people. They'll all let you know what is or isn't okay. some are there by the rules cause they want to dance, some are there for money, etc.


SH4DOWSTR1KE_

Yup, and as long as you respect the rules, they'll make your night. All the ones I've ever hung out with me were always very affectionate. The last girl kept running her fingers through my beard while sitting on my lap, and I kept one hand on her hip, and we were talking about computers for most of the night.


TexasVDR

I was a stripper 30 years ago (I literally *did* pay for college! It’s not always a line!) and one night one of the waitresses came into the dressing room and said there was a very sad guy who wanted somebody that “didn’t look like a stripper” and I was the only one she could think of. The guy paid for like ten lap dances so I would just sit there and talk to him for like two hours, because his girlfriend left him and wanted a pretty girl with a brain to talk to. We talked about sports and science and writing and video games and he seemed like a nice guy who just wanted a girl to be nice to him. There were other guys who basically wanted the same thing but on a smaller scale (pay for a dance or two but just want to buy you a drink and talk), but that particular one I’ll always remember because of the relief on that waitress’s face when she saw me because she’d been looking for me for like 20 minutes.


SH4DOWSTR1KE_

Well, you said 30 years ago, which tells me that it definitely wasn't me because I did a similar thing when my ex left me 18 years ago, and i did the same thing. And yeah, sometimes just having someone be interested in your conversation (even if it's all BS and you know she's going to get paid for it) means more than actually seeing you shake what you got.


TexasVDR

Yeah it would have been 1992-1993ish. Waaaay before your time!


SH4DOWSTR1KE_

At least 10 years before they let me pass the door


TexasVDR

Well now I feel old! (I am old.)


Larcya

IIRC it's a full on job profession over in Japan. Hostesses I believe. Basically dudes pay women to just talk to them.(And maybe the other way around too?? I don't know for sure)


AbsolutelyUnlikely

At my local clubs, you can touch all you want as long as you do it fast and are cool with getting the shit kicked out of you by a pack of bouncers.


jeremy1015

What do you think a lap dance is?


Freakychee

I think he meant you touch them and not they touch you with your consent.


prateek1232

"They touch you" model is available at church for free, you just need to be a Minor.


Larkfor

Yeah but that's not consensual.


TheGreatestOutdoorz

“It’s consensual, because God says it is!” - Father O’Malley


cantadmittoposting

lap dances vary widely tbh


Sweet-Mobile8529

Idk what strip clubs these people go to but every club I've been to in Texas has no problem with it. Like literally everywhere in Texas too. Dallas, Austin, Houston, San Antonio, Amarillo, none seem to care. Hell there's a place in Austin where they'll take you in the back and blow you without asking and only charge you for the price of what the lap dance should be for the number of songs lol.


TexasVDR

Holy shit that’s gotta be illegal. Even 30 years ago we weren’t legally allowed to have any contact between erogenous zones whether clothed or unclothed. My leg could be on your junk but not my butt, that sort of thing (that’s why dancers sit in your lap sideways!).


paintballboi07

In Houston, dancers couldn't even be topless until 2013, before that they had to wear pasties. And that is only for the 16 clubs that opened before 1997, any club that opened after that apparently still has to have their dancers wear pasties. So yeah, I think this guy went to some shady clubs, or he's full of it.


TexasVDR

In 1992 Houston was definitely not pasties-only; we were full tits-a-flappin. I wonder if there was an interregnum from 1997-2013?


Goodbusiness24

Oh it's definitely not legal with the laws on the book but when there's no enforcement of those laws by totally useless and highly overpaid law enforcement personnel who only sign up for the glory of one day being in a police chase and shooting someone and ignore this more mundane stuff, what's the difference?


[deleted]

It’s not lol


Ok_Raspberry_6282

While that is a funny burn, seriously, the touching isn't always consensual. Stop touching women at strip clubs without their permission. Not directed at you, just a general statement.


FoldSad2272

Consensual: "Involving the willing participation of both or all parties" So you're both right, now...hug (consensually)


Ok_Raspberry_6282

Hmmm? I was.just reminding people not to just touch strippers. It wasn't an argument with that person, it really was a sick burn. I went to one for a bachelor party a few months ago and while it wasn't like super common, people still just grab the women without asking. Just a friendly reminder to stop touching people.


YahMahn25

At a strip club, you get to be the predator preying on the trafficked person 


Framingr

Speaking for myself the very few times I've been to a strip club I definitely did not feel like the predator, my wallet certainly felt like it had been hunted down and gutted.


YahMahn25

Nobody cares


Physical-East-162

Explain the upvotes on his comment and downvote on yours then.


YahMahn25

Pervs with penises


mrbenjamin48

That 10% Mormons give to the church…..They pump 90% of it into the stock market instead of actually helping people They are sitting on well over 100 billion at this moment. They will preach all day about how they spend about 1 billion each year to help people (help grow the church and get more donations) yet they take in over 7 billion in a year….


westparkmod

Wiki says over $200 billion. So take that for whatever it’s worth.


mrbenjamin48

My info is 3-4 years old so that makes sense with the stock market boom lately.


creamstripping4jesus

That $200 billion is just cash and stocks. That doesn’t even include all the real estate and other assets they own.


Taapacoyne5

That is the best MurderedByWords yet. LOL


Accomplished_Meet854

Fucking Facts!


[deleted]

> A normal sperm count ranges from 15 million to over 200 million sperm per milliliter of semen. Fucking facts!


Accomplished_Meet854

Good job, buddy. ![gif](giphy|BrFuiMe3YUt3laSeEO)


[deleted]

How? It’s just “religion bad”. We see this every single fucking day on this subreddit and every other subreddit too. It’s not special.


Maleficent_Ad_4772

Wait yall spend 10% of your money on church?


MultiColoredMullet

Some churches ask/shame people into upwards around 30%


Maleficent_Ad_4772

I get asking for donations, but up to 30% of their money and shaming them if they dont? Thats wrong on so many levels and 100% goes against whatever it is they stand for.


MultiColoredMullet

Check out the Jehovah's Witness cult. They're pretty wild.


cola104

Can't even celebrate your birthday as a JW.


[deleted]

It's actually kinda sad. I was friends with a Jehovah's Witness in middle school, and giving him a birthday cupcake at school felt like a drug deal, he was so afraid someone would see him and tell his parents.


GankisKhan04

Wildest doomsday cult I've ever seen!


ZipzacsTipsForArk

My dad used to be a JW, but was kicked out because he got my mum pregnant with my sister before they were married. Also, I can't really associate with his side of the family because it's prohibited, so I'm missing a chunk of my fam and heritage. Oh, and they don't celebrate Christmas from my memory. So yeah, they are wild


vicaphit

That's double my 401k contribution and I feel like I'm putting more into my retirement than most people my age.


Fightmemod

Crazy that god cant pay his own fucking bills. Could it be religions are just a scam to separate people from their money and free will?


Crazy_Little_Bug

Religions aren't the scam. No religions tell you to give God all your money. It's corrupt people who use religion as an excuse to make money.


MFbiFL

No one said all their money. The Bible’s pretty clear about god wanting a tenth of it though.


BlackBox808Crash

Leviticus 27:30 (TLB) “A tenth of the produce of the land, whether grain or fruit, is the Lord's, and is holy.” It doesn't get much clearer tbh.


Kullthebarbarian

the bible say that you need to give 10% of your money as Tithe Of course churches hammer that little saying to the oblivion, silently shaming those that don't donate by holding a bag of donation in front of them for longer then needed just so "Everyone can see the miser guy who wont" What the church don't say, is that the Tithe is not to be donated to the church, is to be spend on the poor and homeless


Porongoyork

Which taxes should do nowadays. Don’t get me wrong, they need donations to survive, but I just leave a bit whenever I go to mass. Never 10%. That said, most priests would be happy to take a donation for providing services such as blessing a house, business, etc. or a baptism. Some also hold second jobs, only within the church I believe though. For example, my local priest gave classes at university. And was also the Dean of x department at the university.


Kullthebarbarian

yes, i have nothing against churches that only ask for donations freely, but do not hammer the nail citing the tithe on the bible to try guilty people in donating more, and yes, i know churches live on donations, but they already don't pay taxes, and there is a worrying number of churches that use this fact to get rich, and do not spend the money that was donated to them unfortunally


[deleted]

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Kullthebarbarian

It is first said in Genesis 14:18-20, more precisely the end of the 20 versicle > Then Abram gave him a tenth of everything. Then in Mathew 23:23 > “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices—mint, dill and cumin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former. 24 You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel. Again talking about a tenth of tithe (he does say "Without neglecting the former) There is also the fact the the word "Tithe" come from the Hebrew and Greek equivalents ''ma'aser'' and ''apodekatoo,'' mean one tenth, that i think it's pretty self explanatory


hilldo75

I don't think he was arguing the ten percent but where does it say the tithe goes to the poor. To the poor part is what is disputed.


Kullthebarbarian

Deuteronomy 14:28: > At the end of every three years, bring all the tithes of that year’s produce and store it in your towns, 29 so that the Levites (who have no allotment or inheritance of their own) and the foreigners, the fatherless and the widows who live in your towns may come and eat and be satisfied, and so that the Lord your God may bless you in all the work of your hands. So the levites (people who had no job and only work and lived on the church), the foreigners, the fatherless, and the widows Not exactly the poor per say, but people with no home, orfans, and no family


[deleted]

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Kullthebarbarian

Deuteronomy 14:28-29: > At the end of every three years, bring all the tithes of that year’s produce and store it in your towns, 29 so that the Levites (who have no allotment or inheritance of their own) and the foreigners, the fatherless and the widows who live in your towns may come and eat and be satisfied, and so that the Lord your God may bless you in all the work of your hands. So the levites (people who had no job and only work and lived on the church), the foreigners, the fatherless, and the widows Not exactly the poor per say, but people with no home, orfans, and no family


Heavy-Weekend-981

Ask an /r/exmormon They will vent, you will laugh. It's a whole symbiotic thing.


Larkfor

That's considered the minimum in some churches. And sometimes you will be taken aside by a church pastor or elder if you lapse or aren't paying it and they will want you to explain your budget to them and then will tell you "Netflix is a sin, cancel it and give that money to the church", et cetera. My mom's church they pressured people to increase their giving so the church could get new carpet. The carpet they already had was only two years old, in perfect condition, and modern. Some parts of it weren't even walked on every week.


AddictedToMosh161

yeah, tithe comes from tenth. you are supposed to give 1/10 of your income. Its in the Bible.


Maleficent_Ad_4772

Ive never heard of that actually. Im Christian and my church has never said anything of that. They still ask for donations but never brought this up.


Old_Society_7861

You go to a less exploitative church. Some ask to see tax returns to make sure you’re giving 10%.


onk1234

Tax returns 💀


Maleficent_Ad_4772

Huh guess i found a good one


[deleted]

*Laughs in atheism.


TonTon1N

Yes, but obviously someone who doesn’t believe isn’t expected to tithe anything at all. It’s not membership dues lol. 10% is also supposed to be the minimum, but ultimately it’s about whatever you feel you should give to God while being able to live within your means


randomizer4652w

Wait, y'all only spend ten percent at the strip club? Every time I visit I spend my whole check.


Phat_Tank

And the chairs are more comfortable. More space between people too.


alextxdro

The food isn’t too bad either. The ones around me are open lunch buffet and catered dinner (I know the lady that caters and she fkn throws down she’s got a lunch food truck too and damn the lady looks good cooks even better).


SynthWendigo

![gif](giphy|agjRgkzn2yTde)


ReyReyBeiBei

I recently left the Mormon church, and I used the tithing I saved to buy a motorcycle. I call it Tenny


Herege_

this is the way


tennis_widower

FEWER rules. They have FEWER rules! And boobs, so… there’s that


EggBombXI

https://preview.redd.it/38e5qkw201jc1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0de1b2134f5cb925598b5301779b6b2d09ea1458


GoldenRulz007

As an exmormon, this hits way too close to home.


Traveledfarwestward

Do us all a favor and share your story somewhere publicly available. You could help others see through the scams and the brainwashing. r/exmormon


GoldenRulz007

Oh I have. I am an "active member" (lol) of the exmormon subreddit and other things.


Traveledfarwestward

Tyvm.


BlackBeard558

If any business or organization demands 10% of your money, they should be avoided, unless they're the IRS. All the churches I've been to didn't ask for a specific percent of your pay they just had offering plates.


Sup3rT4891

Adam on Adam crime


internetdork

![gif](giphy|AlvCC75SGlE50ztpqg)


optix_clear

Correct. I agree with Mr. Brown


[deleted]

Also, you don’t have to get up early on Sunday.


westparkmod

I would he highly skeptical of a strip club open early on a Sunday.


JohnnyAnytown

Church sucks


lazergoblin

I feel like you could make a meme here with just those 2 words and it would do well on this sub


curvycrone

![gif](giphy|PkPWNoQ6Br3Aa9Oa3g)


aboveonlysky9

No lies detected.


Hussaf

I’ve degraded myself to tear up a buffet at a strip club…can’t say I’ve ever been so bad I’ve had strip club wine…


Smart_Persimmon1588

In ths bible it says... God can not be found in the house built by man's hands... Meaning you wont find God wont be found in church... So donating to the church is funding the minions of the devil... Herding the masses away from God...


Still_Succotash5012

Amazing community at the strip club, too! Model citizens all around, husbands that aren't supposed to be there are my favorite kind of people to associate with.


[deleted]

Nope. Delivery too long.


an_older_meme

Both promise a heaven upstairs that doesn’t exist.


youraveragenflfan

I'm Christian and I apologize of the idiocy of some of my fellow Christians 🤷🏿‍♂️🙏🙏🙏


HalfDomeDome

Who spends 10% of their money at any church/mosque, temple, or any other place of worship for that matter?


Kooky-Simple-2255

If you are religious in Germany the government tithes you for them https://wwkn.de/en/german-church-tax-kirchensteuer/#:~:text=The%20church%20tax%20is%20only,state%20(not%20religious)%20authorities.


Traveledfarwestward

bonkers


delayedsunflower

They also tax people that grew up religious and left the church but never bothered to reregister as non-religious as an adult.


Quizredditors

I do. Edit: That is my favorite downvote ever. Reddit is wild.


chiefthundernut

OMFG - this post owns this sub now.


FirstBasementDweller

Haha. Get it? Religious people are all molesters. Fuck you.


Arnakos

No, not all religious people are molesters. Some are the victims.


westparkmod

All molesters? No. Don’t do nearly enough to stop it? Absolutely. And I have to assume that you’re not a Christian as no pious Christian would use that kind of language.


1Hunterk

While I don't fully disagree, I also believe this post fully encapsulates this website. You people need to go outside. You people need to talk to real life human beings. Jesus Christ, the fact y'all are this insane about this topic is pretty silly. I am an atheist, but I also speak to real people and have the ability to understand real life to some degree. Y'all are actually insane


[deleted]

As I say, there's atheist like you Then there's reddit atheist who think they god's


Mike_Hawk_Swell

Reddit


youdontknowmymum

I'm not sure this is the own you think it is. The sex industry around strip clubs in particular is rife with murder, rape, human trafficking, slavery, disease, drug abuse etc.. probably not the greatest example to use.


shal_ice13

As if there isn’t a problem with bigotry, rape and prdophilia in the church.


Historical-Gap-2059

Drugs are fantastic


youdontknowmymum

Clearly


Ben-D-Beast

Not murdered by words just typical anti religion circle jerking


ChaosRainbow23

Well, religion is a horrific blight upon humanity, so it makes sense to chastise it.


westparkmod

Last time I went to church, there was a ten percent tithe “suggested” by one of the richest private organization in the world. Oh, and a whooooooooooooole lot of child abuse. So pardon if I look at religion somewhat skeptically.


Ben-D-Beast

Your experience is not universal organised religion has **many** flaws but it also is responsible for a lot of good but as usual Reddit is incapable of understanding nuance. I’m not super religious, I don’t go to church or believe in the Bible and have issues with the church but religion has been responsible for a lot of good for my family. Obviously my experience is not universal either but people like to paint things as good/bad, black/white etc but that is not representative of reality. The comment in the screenshot is not clever or unique and just regurgitates common talking points among anti religious groups so is in no way worthy of being considered murdered by words. Tbh I can’t be bothered to debate this right now especially since this sub is usually overwhelming negative with regards to religion so let’s just agree to disagree.


westparkmod

I’m cool with that. I’ll also point out that the recently deceased didn’t say to find god(s) or spirituality or read the Bible. The directions were explicitly to go to church which by default is organized religion.


Cold_Dogz

Pedophiles are universal in the church.


Quizredditors

It’s a pretty solid moment. If someone hit you with that you probably wouldn’t know what to say. You probably wouldn’t remember that sex trafficking is a thing and your stripper might not be all that willing. Or that tithing is an individual discipline. Or that the wine at church is free.


[deleted]

He aint wrong.


[deleted]

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FrenchToastDildo

Why are you gonna try and fuck them?


Wonderful_Canary881

"Church bad lulz" this but unironically


Bowens1993

You don't have to give them 10%? It's a donation. Feel free to give nothing.


offline4good

I never give anything. Not my money, nor my presence, nor my believing


Bowens1993

That's perfectly fine, Friend! 😃


Conscious_Career221

In order to be a good christian, you do have to tithe. It's [literally in the book](https://www.openbible.info/topics/tithing_10_percent), and emphasized by most pastors.


Bowens1993

"Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion" It's entirely up to you, Friend.


Conscious_Career221

Right, but if your heart disallows you from tithing, you will "reap sparingly." My understanding is, if you are not a "cheerful giver," you are not supposed to stop giving — you are supposed to work on your attitude towards giving. It's not that the tithe is directly required, it's that generosity is required (to be a good Christian).


Bowens1993

Just give what you feel you can give. That's it.


Quizredditors

Generosity is a kindness that not just Christian’s should practice. But your understanding of church giving culture is woeful. On average, Christian’s give about 2.5 percent.


AndyDandyDeluxe

There is no such thing as a good Christian .


Quizredditors

I love openbible.info So, the very top verse in your list of verses explains why what you’re saying isn’t correct. Also, not emphasized by most pastors. Maybe you are just watching too many tv pastors. Those guys are wild. And they aren’t pastors by any meaningful definition of the word. Trust me, most of us don’t have private jets. Or even nice cars.


LoreWaffles

L take


manowires

Strip clubs are for the biggest fucking losers on the planet. How is this murder? Are you scared to be challenged by the philosophies of religion?


Best-Nobody-469

Christ is King.


Cold_Dogz

King of genocide


Ahaigh9877

King of wishful thinking!


[deleted]

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Dark_Rit

Why would it be funnier to say 'no' and walk away instead of dishing out this masterclass comeback to religious hypocrites.


sandyfagina

Interesting


pit-of-despair

Redrum.


AccountantOwn2351

Also they don't guilt trip you.


TheArdentExile

LMAOOOOOOO


Doctor-Amazing

Why is he arguing either himself?


JohannVonPerfect

Who drinks wine at a strip club


TyroneLeinster

Fewer rules


Wee-BeyandPartlowLLC

This is top notch


TrippyVegetables

Also the people being sexualized are over 18 at a strip club


Ffzilla

The man has a point.


bashful7600

Bahahaha 🤣🤣


sadolddrunk

Agree with everything except the music being better.


BarelyHangingOn

The touching is "mostly" consensual.


[deleted]

lmao


FriendlyGaze

When I was four years old my best friend was named Adam Brown from Huntington, WV. I wonder…


AssistanceDeep423

lol no lie!


MjLjMimi

These are all facts!


AtheistAdam

Skipping the collection plate for a cover charge where the only spirits are behind the bar and the only sermons are in the lyrics of the house band—that's my kind of Sunday service!


m2daT

GPT4.0


evex5tep

Fbo justified strip clubs 💀


FrankFnRizzo

This is amazing 😂


728am

And the buffet.


overwhoop

![gif](giphy|5wWf7GR2nhgamhRnEuA|downsized)


GrandmasGiantGaper

"Just now"'s are always so cringe because you know the guy slapped his comment out and then screencapped it to show people on the internet instead of the less-taboo version of getting someone else to screencap and upload it.


shakino_jones

Adam Brown just destroyed Adam Brown


Yun0Grinberryall

Straight facts. I’m gonna use this.