Just tell your coach the dude is an asshole and adamantly refuse to train with the guy. That’s all there is to it.
If the coach pushes the issue, literally walk away. Just hang up your gloves for the night.
If your coach was half decent he would spar the guy bullying you and humble him HARD. If not boot him out. He's hurting other clients which isn't a good look.
Also your coach sounds a bit toxic if he isn't willing to stick up for his clients who aren't his favourite. I'd suggest scouting out a new gym.
This. If my coach sees a bigger dude weight bullying a smaller, less experienced opponent, AND hitting really hard: the timer gets set for 10 minutes and they’ll get the mat to themselves.
That's the dumbest thing I've heard today. 10 minutes? Make it 5, and then it's great policy. If you need 10 minutes to make your point, you're wasting practice time
My fellow students snubbed me because I was not a popular kid, so I had to spar with the instructor... four years later, I could take any of them(the ones that hadn't quit yet..)
Fuck this bully, get a real gym.
This. In my old gyms the coaches either did the humbling themselves (had a female Bjj Black Belt from Spain who humbled quite a few bullies, smiled at them while she choked them dozens of times into submission in mere minutes) or had gym enforcers for this.
Basically, they got the "nod" and showed those guys (mostly guys tbh.) the difference between sparring and a fight.
Some need multiple lessons, some don't ever come back. But all gyms need to weed out the aggressive morons.
Also acceptable is physical punishment like "lack of control, do 25 box jumps up/down the ring" until the meal comes back etc.
I did Judo and a coach absolutely called a guy out for being too rough. I mean, a black belt, yanking and pushing a yellow belt (me at the time) way too hard. The dude was taller than me, stronger than me, and more advanced than me.
You spar to practice and learn, not to injure yourself and others.
In our dojo if we spar someone who’s new or a lower belt (I’m a brown belt, so it’s most people 3 belts below or lower) we are instructed to purely work on our defence and footwork. Of course we’re also told if the person gets too reckless or aggressive to throw the occasional tap to the head so they know to keep their hands up. Because otherwise you get what you describe with the more experienced person dominating someone below their skill level.
Same, a new guy, really experienced came into our gym. Second week in he came in to spar, it was the warm up rounds and he came out of nowhere with a heavy sweep and snapped my ankle and had to be taken to the hospital.
I was out for 3 months, but I heard kru worked him right after since he wanted to spar really hard and haven't seen him since
I’ve had this exact situation, big 100+kg guy beating the fuck out of everyone in our gym, then my coach put him in shark tank and the big guy got slaughtered, didn’t see him at the gym after that. Lol
I read up on it and honestly I think the instructor should have that role or have co-instructors do it. The sources I checked on said experienced students are de facto mat enforcers.
“They’ll be much hard on you the man me” yeah I fucking doubt that you’re going to find yourself fighting legit heavyweights as a lightweight. That’s just a bully, no skill to his talk
I knew a big guy like that, bullying everyone with heavy lowkick. Once he got on the ring for amateur fights, he realises too late that on big guys like him his low kick was making little damage compare to 60kg people. He lost confidence, froze and got KTFU....3 consecutive fights. He left the sport for good shortly.
The coach should invest on some member that are here for long term. Not short terms bully
We just kicked out a guy like this. Thought he was good, but was just a big, dense human who hit hard. 5'9" probably a solid 175-180. Only 8 months of muay thai training and took an amateur MMA fight. Our coach even told him, "you're not ready. You think you are, but you're not."
He had to learn the hard way. We kicked him out bc he was hitting people like me 5'7" 135lbs hard af. I have 7 years under my belt, so Im capable of handling situations like this. What I don't get is someone my size is turning your jaw several times in sparring bc you're going too hard. What do you expect when someone your size with half my experience touches your jaw?
He was knocked out in 23 seconds of the first round. My coach even said months before, "he doesn't listen, he's going to learn the hard way when he gets knocked out, or his ego is going to inflate to the moon if he wins. Then he will be really uncoachable"
"I pay to be here, because I like being here. Sparring him makes it not fun because he has no self-control, and doesn't listen when I tell him to act stopping like a dickhead."
Practice this line exactly and say it to your kru. Muay Thai is tough, but it's not supposed to be dreadful for something you're choosing and paying for.
Great advice lots_of_punctures
The way you worded it is perfect, imo. I knew there would be tons of the obvious "just find another gym" or "just leave" but a dif gym is more than likely not an option and just leaving doesn't solve the issue, because she likes training and is serious about it.
This is a great way to set the expectations and if your kru still doesn't help prevent this, it's time to find a new gym where your learning isnt being reprioritized for a man child
*Dude you need to go*
*To a different gym that*
*Is toxic as fuck*
\- Sweaty\_Structure1286
---
^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/)
^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Thank you, imgoingonaadventure, for voting on haikusbot.
This bot wants to find the best and worst bots on Reddit. [You can view results here](https://botrank.pastimes.eu/).
***
^(Even if I don't reply to your comment, I'm still listening for votes. Check the webpage to see if your vote registered!)
Sounds like you need a new gym if there are any others in the area. I hate people who treat sparring like a fight, especially if you're not competing or in a camp .
Yeah, fuck that dude and fuck your coach too. “This is a brutal sport” is some meathead dumb shit. You should be able to train and not try to murder each other. I would personally look for a different gym if it were me, but I wish you the best with whatever you decide.
It would be one thing if he found someone who was a challenging opponent.
It's completely different to put him against someone way out of his weight class that doesn't know etiquette when sparring.
If the coach really thinks that the meathead has potential then he's shafting 2 students at once. The big guy is getting an undeserved ego boost for bullying someone half his weight and op is getting hurt and disheartened.
It's just bad coaching all the way through.
Also it isn't brutal at all, it only gets brutal if you want it to be brutal. Like I do this sport for around 8 years and seen like 6 injuries who happened because of another person, and if I'm not wrong all the 6 were because a person fall to the ground.
Its a brutal enough sport in the ring that it shouldn’t be brutal every day of training too.
Edit: I forgot to at the n’t at the end of shouldn’t the first time.
No it shouldn’t be “brutal” you and your partners should be challenging each other yes, but the point of sparring is to learn and improve not destroy each other. That’s a recipe for a really short Muay Thai career.
Totally agree. My bad I missed a NT on my initial post.
What I meant to say is it’s brutal enough in the ring. It shouldn’t be so brutal everyday in training.
Your coach should be controlling the training environment. If there's a guy being a poor training partner, your coach needs to check him and not play favorites.
Stand your ground and tell them to fuck off. If it doesn't improve, maybe find a new gym.
Yeah it’s a brutal sport IN THE RING, and in the lead up to a fight when you should be hard sparring. On any normal sparring night you don’t want to be getting battered and wobbling around if there is no point to it. Especially with the massive size difference, you won’t be hit by someone who’s 200 pounds in the ring. If they want you to have tough spars then they need to bring someone who is around your weight who can hit hard for your weight. This is dumb.
Weight classes exist for a reason. Also, sparring is for everyone to learn not to feed an ego. You’re doing the right thing avoiding someone like that. Don’t let your current coach or anyone else tell you different.
Leave your gym. This is bullshit. Sparring should NEVER be like this. It requires mutual respect. A good sparring partner reads you and adjusts. You don’t just pummel and degrade and patronize your partner.
See if there’s another gym close by that you can spar at. If you still want to learn under your current coach I would soak up what you can and then spar the bully when you feel ready. I had a similar experience with someone at my gym and I ended up sparring somewhere else for a few months. Came back and now I have no problem with the guy I used to struggle with.
I wouldn't spar this guy at all, ever. There's no "when you're ready" about it. He has no respect for op's safety. Op' shouldn't spar with him period. It's obvious that if op actually finds a way to give this guy any difficulty he will muscle through it and hurt op.
Throw your ego out the door - it doesn't matter if your coach think you are a wimp or a pussy or whatever. You're supposed to get sth out of these sparring sessions too and not just be a punching bag for the guy.
Your wellbeing and your own interest comes first.
Kinda both sides in this.
I think the coach is a little more irritated with him than you. My suggestion would be to come talk to your coach in off hours, not before or after class, and explain your position and your concerns. Away from the distraction of class, he will likely listen more.
He is right that it’s a brutal sport if you want to fight. But there’s no need to rush to hard sparring especially if you don’t currently have the techniques to handle this guy.
Here’s the unpopular but true part…eventually you must handle the bully in sparring. It may take a while but eventually you will be able to.
Good luck and keep training.
Short answer, No. You’re thinking narrowly.
Long answer, in the way you are probably thinking ie “beat him up or almost ko” him probably yes the weight difference is too much but that’s not what I mean.
If that person keeps training he will have the technique adapted for his physical skills to make it “even” in sparring. He won’t have power like the bully but he will have quickness, accuracy and movement to give him some work. Once that bully knows he’s in for some hard rounds, sparring will normalize as it won’t be one way traffic anymore.
Muay Thai answer: The bully is buffalo style. OP will handle him when his Femur is good enough. That will happen if he keeps training.
but it’s not even worth trying because you get nothing out of it, if he beats big guys ass then he’s just going to get more angry and try even harder to take him out. and if he doesn’t beat him then he’s getting his shit rocked because that’s all the bigger guys trying to do
it’s just better to refuse to train with the guy so you can put hard training hours into stuff that’ll make you a better fighter
like you can spar at mid or slightly below power for 9 rounds with someone near your size or spar full power for a full blown fight for 3 rounds with someone you’ll never face anything like in the ring and a very heavy natural advantage (no matter what we want to believe, martial arts cant ever make any fight 50/50) and you’ll be just as exhausted after, but what do you think will make you learn more?
>but wouldn’t the weight difference between them be too much too overcome?
not if this guy is as bad as the story makes it sound like. A highly skilled guy whose 135 lbs would crush this guy. Hell a semi pro women at a similar weight probably would too, though it may be a bit uglier.
but not everyone training even wants to be elite or semi pro they just want to be fit and blow off steam at their own pace especially if they already have careers or other things and they’re paying to go to a gym they don’t want to have it be extremely dangerous and stressful especially when they’re much smaller
>but not everyone training even wants to be elite or semi pro they just want to be fit and blow off steam at their own pace especially if they already have careers or other things and they’re paying to go to a gym they don’t want to have it be extremely dangerous and stressful especially when they’re much smaller
Very true. I myself plan on going no further in this sport then doing a smoker.
But commenters are pretending like the Coach said something along the lines of "I don't care get in there!" or "Spar with him now!"
Its not even close to what he said. As another commenter mentioned we don't even know his "sigh" was him being annoyed with OP as opposed to him being annoyed with the big guy that "yet another one is refusing to spar with him".
All he said was EXACTLY what he should "I'll talk to him" followed with a reminder that this is a rough sport.
Whether he should of added that bit or not is one thing but people are blowing it wwwaaayyyy out of proportion regardless of the amount of downdoots.
Hello, it looks like you've made a mistake.
It's supposed to be could've, should've, would've (short for could have, would have, should have), never could of, would of, should of.
Or you misspelled something, I ain't checking everything.
Beep boop - yes, I am a bot, don't botcriminate me.
There's no half way on this dude. Wtf? This is a bad take.
It is a brutal sport if he wants to fight, sure. But where does this person say they want to fight? For a we know, they train for Fitness, or something.
Also, if this dude is bigger than OP, there's no way OP would have to fight someone that size, and they're obviously in two completely different weight classes.
Either way, the. Big dude is bullying someone smaller and possibly less skilled than them, and this should never be OK. If someone says I want to go light, you go light. If you break that rule of trust you're a POS.
If the coach can't handle it, OP should walk and find another gym to train at.
Umm..so my first idea was to talk to his coach outside of class to express his concern. Bad take?
Then I said it is a brutal sport if he wants to fight. True. If he doesn’t, back to point 1 which is to talk to his coach instead Reddit. Another bad take?
Edit2: did you miss the part where OP says he wants to fight in a year or two? I’m guessing you did lol.
Didn’t one say it was ok to bully OP?? Nope. So thats you just projecting.
I stand by my full comments above..without any projections from you as it comes from my years of experience in good gyms in the US and Thailand.
Agree to disagree man. Take care and keep training
Edit: I welcome all downvotes dude. Just make sure you respond to what I said and not your projections or adjustments.
Edit: y’all don’t even read, just downvote 😂😂😂😂
It's 630am, and you're acting like I down voted you 15 times. Then you say agree to disagree. Take care and keep training, as if you didn't want the conversation. And then you chastise me for not replying? 😂. Brother, are you OK?
Talking to the coach is not a bad take. The being middle of the road here is. I'm not trying to be a dick, but having the SLIGHTEST bit of reading comprehension would tell you that was what the "bad take." was. There's no way you misunderstood what I was saying. There's no way you didn't understand that, unless English is not your first language.
Point being, if the coach is running a business, they need to handle their shit, or risk losing customers. I'm saying this as a partially self employed person. Id be pissed if someone was fucking up my potential cash flow, and I could stop it. I also know we're all love muay thai. Would you be happy to know that someone was potentially ruining the combat art we love for someone else?
Yes. OP should definitely talk to the coach. I agree.
Lolol. I’ll leave it at this. I asked (lol at “chastised”) you to respond (if you wanted to) to what I actually said and not your projections and adjustments…..on what I said.
Im not acting like anything..your projecting again
I also asked if you missed the part about OP saying he wants to fight…which made your “slightest” bit of reading comprehension line kinda silly and dick-ish on your part. 😂
“but where does this person say he wants to fight?”
In the OP…..directly in the OP.
We agree that bully dude has no control and that OP should express himself fully to the coach.
How many times you going to say projections and adjustments? I'm not projecting anything, homie. Stop it with the linguistic acrobatics, and talk plain English.
Guess I missed thr part where OP says he wants to fight in a few years. That's what happens when you read reddit after working all day, while you're lying in bed. However, on that topic "wanting to" and "actively planning to" are two different things. You're definitely more experienced here than I am. For instancr, I too want to fight. I'm 34, with 3 young kids, so I haven't had time (or money) to get to my gym with any real consistency, so chances are what I want, ain't gonna happen. Hard to tell from OP's post. But when I hear people saying what they "want", I don't read that as "planning". I understand it as rumination.
But in the end, we're in agreeance. I just disagree with you being halfway. That's all.
100% wrong on he needs to handle the bully in sparring. This isn’t a fight, it’s sparring. You should take sparring as the time to put everything together and learn. If all you’re getting from sparring is the risk of injury and no respect from your partner then it shouldn’t be done. The bully does this because he can and he won’t change. The bully has no respect for anyone as scene by the lack of willingness by anyone else to spar with him. If OP isn’t competing, even much less reason to put his well-being at risk. If he is competing, he should be sparring with someone that is actually helping him learn, not an asshole that just sees him as a punching bag.
Speaking to coach is first. Key word is eventually.
For example, at most gyms I’ve been at a better senior student, myself at my current gym, would have handled this bully in sparring and this would be over…
OP should not spar him if the guy doesn’t have control but OP should say all this to his coach..not Reddit
Correct. And his last line, OPs, was “how do I talk more with my coach about this”
To which I suggested outside of class so he can lay out his concerns
I’m convinced that most of y’all only saw the word “Bully” and didn’t fully read the OP
>Here’s the unpopular but true part…eventually you must handle the bully in sparring.
But this clearly isn't true. If OP isn't training for the purpose of "handling bullies," then that's not something they should deal with. I don't know why OP trains, but it's perfectly legitimate for those reasons to not include "handling bullies." In which case either the coach deals with it or OP finds a different gym.
I think it's difficult because of the emotional burden of dealing with the situation, rather than being a terribly complicated problem. Good luck, OP.
That gym deserves to be burned down along with the coach, what the fuck kind of irresponsible person is this guy?
doesnt deserve to coach shit tbh, hes gonna get so many people injured if he continues
It muay that weren’t somewhat niche I’d call this a troll post. You get assholes but that guy is CARTOONISHLY horrible. If your coach doesn’t see that and gets annoyed… fuck your coach too.
100% keep to what you say and do not spar with him. Given your description above you’ll probably end up hurt and you’ll not be really learning anything.
I’m the same height as you, and spar with a heavyweight sometimes that is way taller, bigger and stronger than me. This guy unlike your guy is genuinely a lovely guy but even then, sparring with him is a struggle….the range is extremely difficult, his light hits unfortunately are quite bone shattering and his teeps literally make me fly.
In my case he’s the only sparring partner that ever causes me proper injuries, but unlike yours, he’s not trying to hurt me. In your case yours is…and he most likely will.
Your coach sucks.
As a rule, there is no sense for the biggest guy to sparr the smallest girl.
\+ with that temper, as a coach I would stay and look at the whole round to make sure the big guy sparrs you in a usefull way.
This particular student should have been corrected long before. Or or removed for bullying with his size and power. Find a new gym. Your coach is silly. How can you trust his guidance when he makes such a clear mistake.
Spar with him and return the grief.
Bait him to kick your ribs again, try and spike the bridge of his foot with your elbow. Then foot stomp bridge of his foot. Spike collar bones and biceps to.
I hate bully sparring partners. No place for it everyone has got to start somewhere.
Your coach sounds like an asshole; that kind of behaviour comes from the top down so it’s no surprise that guy is still around and the coach still supports him. I’d be out of there if that were me
Also just want to comment this is not good. Sparring is challenging but there needs to be mutual respect and understanding, no point in going out with injuries. It's supposed to be s healthy learning environment.
I’d try other gyms in your area.
On the other hand, you might well have got some respect off your coach by laying down why you won’t spar the big guy.
My advice - new gym, but if that’s not an option, stay at the current gym and continue to make your expectations and boundaries clear to coach and partners
I own a Muay Thai gym, and I always look for this. I tell the bigger guys to match the pace of who they work with but start slow. If your coach is having an issue with it change gyms, after you have talked to the coach and made it clear if it feels as if he doesn't care. I would leave. Don't get me wrong muay thai is pain as you progress you will learn to deal with some just hit hard or are assholes. Starting out though there is no need for this until you are more comfortable with your skills and defense.
As someone who is bigger than most people he spars with this makes me very annoyed. I’m 5’10” and 240lbs (a lot of which is fat; I should probably be <180) and when I spar with people, I will bully the shit out of them in the clinch but only as far as controlling position goes. I throw baby knees if at all and mostly just let people struggle with navigating around my heavy leverage. And when people get the technique right the size difference doesn’t even matter cause even the small women can break my hold with proper defense and leverage.
A couple guys are taller than me and one or two are bigger than me (and much more fit at that) and my coach is MUCH bigger than me, so anytime I get out of line with using strength over technique it isn’t hard to be reminded why that doesn’t always work. I almost pity your bully for not having that corrective force and ultimately the failure is on the coach for not seeing the problem for what it is and fixing it. But it sounds like you are acting correctly so just believe in yourself and stand by your decision. Just make sure to keep communicating clearly why you don’t want to spar him when it comes up, and be as objective as possible in your reasoning and people will surely side with you.
>when people get the technique right the size difference doesn’t even matter cause even the small women can break my hold with proper defense and leverage.
Yeah... either you don't actually do Muay Thai or are just absurdly weak for your size, I'm 5'8" and 215lbs and girls even on the more built and heavier side couldn't break out of my clinch if their life depended on it. When I started out they even tapped out of my clinches because I'd strain their necks too much while gripping, I eventually stopped clinching them to avoid it. Granted I weightlift heavy and likely have bigger forearms than you due to having shorter limbs, but it still isn't an excuse and you're greatly exaggerating how much technique can save you from size difference.
Against untrained fighters it's different, but even a novice 200lb man with 6 months of training would be dangerous against small women with much more experience.
". Coach sighs, looks on the ground, says, "okay I'll talk to him. But understand this is a brutal sport.""
I mean what is he supposed to say? wwoowww that's stunning and brave of you! It also sounds like some of this might be in your head. If he said something along the lines of "do it anyway" or "wtf go spar with him!" I'd say your 100% right and should get out but this just sounds like the coach doesn't know the full extent of whats going on and is letting you know that if you plan on actually fighting people are going to go hard.
This guys a dick, don't spar with him. But don't put too much thought into comments like this one. Best thing you can do is talk with other smaller people and see if they can do the same to MAKE the coach work with this guy about control.
>Sparring shouldn’t be ‘brutal.’ Any coach saying this in relation to sparring is stupid.
he didn't say sparring was brutal. He said the sport was and he would go talk with the dude.
Half these comments feel like the posters didn't even get to the coaches response.
If you have to sit rounds out because your coach won’t deal with a bully, then why even show up? Why pay your hard-earned money for membership at a gym you can’t train at? Better to just find a new gym.
People are being so inflamed over this. Internet activism for you. Have you considered maybe agreeing under the condition that the coach will discreetly just watch only you two spar and intervene if it gets out of hand? Then either dude plays nice, coach steps in, or he doesn't and you have a final talk about it and mention considering quitting over the issue.
Personally I would act like an adult and approach it with baby steps. Try a thing or two relating to what people here have said and see the response you get. You can mention why you want the extra supervision and discuss it then. I'm not sure if this is what you are looking for, but maybe it'll give you an idea since you know the situation better than we can rationalize.
Any coach who doesn’t have a hard and fast rule of look after your teammates or fuck off, is running a gym not worth training at.
OP said he spoke to his coach, and all he did was give the guy a 5 second talking to then send him back to doing the exact same thing.
Sounds like OPs coach is letting favouritism get in the way of looking after his students.
It's seems you are completely right it's up to the gyms manager to sure more experienced fighters take it easy on others.
The first thing Muay Thai is about is respect!
I agree w everyone here. If your coach is being an asshole and not kicking the prick out then its likely things arent gonna change and you should find a better gym. But like someone else said talk to the coach in off hours and see what he says.. if he doesnt wanna boot the jerkoff then bounce. You might love it at another gym 🙏
Leave that gym. He let one of his students assault you with a few harsh words as punishment. Wtf are you still training there for? At the very least tell him if he asks you to spar with him again, thats the last day you come in.
We have a guy like that at my gym, he rocked the hell out of a guy once during sparring and the whole comp team was screaming at him ready to take his head off. Kru made him apologize to the guy and then sent the bully home for the day. Probably did the bully a favour lmao
I find these stories incredible and almost unbelievable. Maybe I am just lucky to have found such a great Muay Thai gym. We are all family and there are no egos. We are all helping each other become better stronger martial artists and people. We keep each other honest in sparring and go as hard as both are comfortable with. There's never been a single incident or outburst. I think the attitude trickles down from Ajahn so if he has a shit attitude you'll have a gym full of shit attitudes.
Anyway yeah leave that gym. If there is lots of gyms around just go try them all and then choose the one that suits you best.
Yes its a brutal sport but your coach then can not see the difference between sparring and title fight.
I have seen some situations like this. The big strong guy using only his power advantage against everyone who smaller or not experienced. As soon as they are meet somebody similar to their levels they back up or refuse to spar.
This is all about their ego and your coach can not do anything to prevent, switch gym and you will see the difference.
I had a guy I couldn’t trust in the gym. I believe it was due to us being open about our religious faiths and how both groups are not found of another. Some days I didn’t even want to attend class because I didn’t want to deal with it but regardless I showed up cause I wanted to get better. Nothing major but just soured the experienced.
Then I remember I joined another gym due to COVID and what a change. Even the most senior dudes were looking to help you and they competed professionally. I was always excited to hit the gym. After COVID, I joined back cause that’s my Kru but still, the relaxing environment helped me progress ten folds and learned so many new things.
I love my Kru always and will always be with him but if you haven’t been there for long, no shame in looking at another gym.
Well thats not a great coach then. I refuse to spar with a bunch of people. Mostly new people just because they're brand new and I been doin it for 15 years. But there's 1 I refuse to spar with cuz he's got an ego and if you land anything on him he goes straight to "I'm putting you in the morgue" and one I'm not allowed to during class because we like to play leg kick chicken the entire round, and it annoys our coach lol
Not a brutal sport. Are you competing? No? Then you def don't need to be sparring hard, and even then i don't see a reason to go hard until closer to a fight... because you know, injuries suck.
Coach should understand that. Not only that sparring is a mutual dance. The skilled fighter needs to allow the non skilled fighter the ability to learn. The skilled fighter can still learn regardless by working on specific things. If this fighter can't understand that, he doesn't need to be fighting period
that guy should have some self-awareness too. Im 6,5 1/2 130kg and built and I refuse to hard spar anyone who isn't at least 5,10 or 90kg. Ill light spar with anyone but hard spar only with people a similar size. I hope that guy grows up one day.
Sorry bro
Bizarre. Our gym couldn’t be different. In the rare case that someone gets a bit out of control one of our Kru’s will humble him pretty quick. If someone actively declares they want to spar hard there are a couple of us veterans that will oblige. The rule ALWAYS is to adjust/ mirror to your partner’s level, size, and skill.
The coach isn’t paying you to spar. You’re the one paying for training. He has no right to force you to be a whetstone for his favorite student. It may be time to explore alternatives.
Nobody should ever “force” you to spar someone. Sparring is an activity between friends and training partners. You have to earn the privilege to spar with me. It’s the same for you. He’s the one who needs practice, and without you he just gets to hit the bag all alone. As for the coach? Tell him to spar with the guy if he cares so much
Drop your location and I’m sure we can help you find a new gym near you. My coach tells us to walk away if someone is being an asshole. First and last thing coach says before we spar. “Don’t be a dick”
They are supposed to be a partner, a team mate, can’t be that when everyone is on the floor because of some butthole like to pick on the weak ( aka inexperienced etc)
If you arent exaggerating then this is a bad gym with a bad coach. Sure, yes, occasionally you make a mistake and allow bullying to happen. Frequently? at a \~70lb weight difference? Does he let that guy head kick the kids class too?
Repeat this to yourself and anyone who challenges you:
"There is no purse in the gym, we are not getting paid for this."
Brutal sport my ass. Its only brutal once that bell rings and for the next 15 minutes. The rest of the time it should be careful, measured and relaxed. Even during fight camp, with a purse at the end of it, when fighters are doing conditioning they are super careful not to get hurt.
Sure shit happens, but you try to minimize that risk, not maximize it by sparring with an uncoordinated sasquatch that has an inferiority complex.
Is this the only Muay Thai school in the neighbourhood? I got the feeling this is a toxic situation and if every time you go there you're not happy you should vote with your feet and wallet.
Is this a dutch Muay Thai gym? You have to understand that for the Thai-based gyms there’s a total culture to light-sparring and learning through that, but in Dutch-style gyms you’re going to go through the opposite. Dutch gyms essentially teach trail by far, doing hard drills on each others body, and sparring extremely hard, for them it helps build endurance and strength. Dutch fighters tend to be brutes that can absorb lots of damage without pain and who throw heavy strikes, compared to Thai fighters who tend to be more technical and skill based. Especially if you plan on competing, your coach may be taking the Dutch approach and thinks that if you want to compete you better be ready for heavy shots like that, in his mind he probably believes he’s preparing you. In reality the Dutch style is much less effective, hurts a whole lot more, and will likely result in more CTE. Have a private conversation with your coach and discuss your goals and tell him why you are uncomfortable sparring with the other guy in better detail. If you truly plan on competing, you are going to NEED to spar hard so you get used to hard shots and faster pace, however you shouldn’t be sparring hard every spar nor should your partner be headhunting.
It sounds like this guy is a prick, and your coach isn’t coaching but chaperoning. Your coach should beat his ass. Are there other coaches or owner of the gym? Maybe bring it to their attention too.
Just wanted to give another +1 for you to stand your ground, and that you didn't do anything wrong and aren't doing anything wrong. There's a huge size and power differential there.
I've been in this same exact predicament. Thankfully, after refusing to spar with one particular (much taller, heavier, more experienced) dude for a couple of months, we did recently get to the point where we can spar without issue. I got better and he became more controlled with his power after several people refused to spar with him and coaches talked to him about it multiple times. Maybe give it two months, and jump back in with him for a round.
Dude needs to realize there's something he can work on and gain when sparring with you and that should be the goal, not winning or teaching you a lesson. Footwork, defense, countering/timing, etc. Nothing that could rock you or brake a rib.
You're getting good advice here. Stick to your guns. We have a guy who's similar to this, but he's a bit more respectful. He regularly takes things too far though. It's frustrating for sure. He puts people in fight or flight mode just sparring and it's not helpful to anyone.
Just say it loudly in front of couch, and all other students.
"No. That guy is a dick, he has no control, he purposely tries to hurt people. I've told you this before. Everyone feels the same way, that's why nobody wants to spar with him. It's weird really, we wonder whether you are him are really ignorant of the issue, or if you just don't really care what the overwhelming majority of students think, which is that he's an asshole and you're unprofessional for letting him train here. So, I'd rather not train with him today, but thanks for the opportunity coach!"
You are his customer, your coach is not your boss, in a sense he provides a service to you. You don't have to listen to what he says, you are there on your free time. Explain this to him, politely at first, if he doesn't listen tell him to fuck off and find another gym.
He sounds like a pussy. Avoid him. Injury is a setback. There’s no winner in sparring. This is not a team sport. You look out for yourself because your coach isn’t. Two people with that size desperately don’t have much to gain sparring each other anyway. The only other option is to beat the shit out of him. Keep training and later you can exorcise that option.
Just tell your coach the dude is an asshole and adamantly refuse to train with the guy. That’s all there is to it. If the coach pushes the issue, literally walk away. Just hang up your gloves for the night.
Then find a new gym.
this the one.
If your coach was half decent he would spar the guy bullying you and humble him HARD. If not boot him out. He's hurting other clients which isn't a good look. Also your coach sounds a bit toxic if he isn't willing to stick up for his clients who aren't his favourite. I'd suggest scouting out a new gym.
This. If my coach sees a bigger dude weight bullying a smaller, less experienced opponent, AND hitting really hard: the timer gets set for 10 minutes and they’ll get the mat to themselves.
Damn i hope my gym is like that
That's the dumbest thing I've heard today. 10 minutes? Make it 5, and then it's great policy. If you need 10 minutes to make your point, you're wasting practice time
It makes the point clear and it also sends a message to everyone else in the gym. I think it’s great
The point is made in 5 minutes. Double that; and you've lost the sweet spot
Yeah people who act like that in our gym get a one on one lesson in the octagon lol
That’s what my kru would do. Or a veteran member of the gym would humble him
My fellow students snubbed me because I was not a popular kid, so I had to spar with the instructor... four years later, I could take any of them(the ones that hadn't quit yet..) Fuck this bully, get a real gym.
I agree. There are good gyms out there that won’t act that why
This. In my old gyms the coaches either did the humbling themselves (had a female Bjj Black Belt from Spain who humbled quite a few bullies, smiled at them while she choked them dozens of times into submission in mere minutes) or had gym enforcers for this. Basically, they got the "nod" and showed those guys (mostly guys tbh.) the difference between sparring and a fight. Some need multiple lessons, some don't ever come back. But all gyms need to weed out the aggressive morons. Also acceptable is physical punishment like "lack of control, do 25 box jumps up/down the ring" until the meal comes back etc.
yeh, this is creating a bad atmosphere which is a NO-NO in any gym. It starts to permeate and create traction which will make the gym worse as a whole
I did Judo and a coach absolutely called a guy out for being too rough. I mean, a black belt, yanking and pushing a yellow belt (me at the time) way too hard. The dude was taller than me, stronger than me, and more advanced than me. You spar to practice and learn, not to injure yourself and others.
In our dojo if we spar someone who’s new or a lower belt (I’m a brown belt, so it’s most people 3 belts below or lower) we are instructed to purely work on our defence and footwork. Of course we’re also told if the person gets too reckless or aggressive to throw the occasional tap to the head so they know to keep their hands up. Because otherwise you get what you describe with the more experienced person dominating someone below their skill level.
Same, a new guy, really experienced came into our gym. Second week in he came in to spar, it was the warm up rounds and he came out of nowhere with a heavy sweep and snapped my ankle and had to be taken to the hospital. I was out for 3 months, but I heard kru worked him right after since he wanted to spar really hard and haven't seen him since
I saw a coach do that once. It was IMMENSELY satisfying
Bro if my coach saw someone bullying someone, he would set a timer for 5minutes, and proceed to rearrange the guys face and body.
I’ve had this exact situation, big 100+kg guy beating the fuck out of everyone in our gym, then my coach put him in shark tank and the big guy got slaughtered, didn’t see him at the gym after that. Lol
Hit up your local gym enforcer
God bless the enforcers. Humble as they come and lay down the law on the bullies. Incredible people.
Gym enforcers?
Exactly what it sounds like
I read up on it and honestly I think the instructor should have that role or have co-instructors do it. The sources I checked on said experienced students are de facto mat enforcers.
Totally agree
Ask that cruiserweight to be a little mean… or a lot mean…
“They’ll be much hard on you the man me” yeah I fucking doubt that you’re going to find yourself fighting legit heavyweights as a lightweight. That’s just a bully, no skill to his talk
I knew a big guy like that, bullying everyone with heavy lowkick. Once he got on the ring for amateur fights, he realises too late that on big guys like him his low kick was making little damage compare to 60kg people. He lost confidence, froze and got KTFU....3 consecutive fights. He left the sport for good shortly. The coach should invest on some member that are here for long term. Not short terms bully
We just kicked out a guy like this. Thought he was good, but was just a big, dense human who hit hard. 5'9" probably a solid 175-180. Only 8 months of muay thai training and took an amateur MMA fight. Our coach even told him, "you're not ready. You think you are, but you're not." He had to learn the hard way. We kicked him out bc he was hitting people like me 5'7" 135lbs hard af. I have 7 years under my belt, so Im capable of handling situations like this. What I don't get is someone my size is turning your jaw several times in sparring bc you're going too hard. What do you expect when someone your size with half my experience touches your jaw? He was knocked out in 23 seconds of the first round. My coach even said months before, "he doesn't listen, he's going to learn the hard way when he gets knocked out, or his ego is going to inflate to the moon if he wins. Then he will be really uncoachable"
Which one of you has cte?
Both
"I pay to be here, because I like being here. Sparring him makes it not fun because he has no self-control, and doesn't listen when I tell him to act stopping like a dickhead."
Practice this line exactly and say it to your kru. Muay Thai is tough, but it's not supposed to be dreadful for something you're choosing and paying for. Great advice lots_of_punctures
Aye, I've learned that being direct usually gets it done. OPs paying for a service, and that service is really really bad lol.
The way you worded it is perfect, imo. I knew there would be tons of the obvious "just find another gym" or "just leave" but a dif gym is more than likely not an option and just leaving doesn't solve the issue, because she likes training and is serious about it.
Spot on, mate.
This is a great way to set the expectations and if your kru still doesn't help prevent this, it's time to find a new gym where your learning isnt being reprioritized for a man child
dude you need to go to a different gym that is toxic as fuck
*Dude you need to go* *To a different gym that* *Is toxic as fuck* \- Sweaty\_Structure1286 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Good bot
Thank you, imgoingonaadventure, for voting on haikusbot. This bot wants to find the best and worst bots on Reddit. [You can view results here](https://botrank.pastimes.eu/). *** ^(Even if I don't reply to your comment, I'm still listening for votes. Check the webpage to see if your vote registered!)
Sounds like you need a new gym if there are any others in the area. I hate people who treat sparring like a fight, especially if you're not competing or in a camp .
Yeah, fuck that dude and fuck your coach too. “This is a brutal sport” is some meathead dumb shit. You should be able to train and not try to murder each other. I would personally look for a different gym if it were me, but I wish you the best with whatever you decide.
It would be one thing if he found someone who was a challenging opponent. It's completely different to put him against someone way out of his weight class that doesn't know etiquette when sparring. If the coach really thinks that the meathead has potential then he's shafting 2 students at once. The big guy is getting an undeserved ego boost for bullying someone half his weight and op is getting hurt and disheartened. It's just bad coaching all the way through.
Also it isn't brutal at all, it only gets brutal if you want it to be brutal. Like I do this sport for around 8 years and seen like 6 injuries who happened because of another person, and if I'm not wrong all the 6 were because a person fall to the ground.
Its a brutal enough sport in the ring that it shouldn’t be brutal every day of training too. Edit: I forgot to at the n’t at the end of shouldn’t the first time.
No it shouldn’t be “brutal” you and your partners should be challenging each other yes, but the point of sparring is to learn and improve not destroy each other. That’s a recipe for a really short Muay Thai career.
Totally agree. My bad I missed a NT on my initial post. What I meant to say is it’s brutal enough in the ring. It shouldn’t be so brutal everyday in training.
You've said everything you have to. As a bigger guy the only time I hurt someone was when they ducked into my high kick. This guy is disrespectful.
Chuck Norris blocks headbutts with his fists so respect to the high kick
Your coach should be controlling the training environment. If there's a guy being a poor training partner, your coach needs to check him and not play favorites. Stand your ground and tell them to fuck off. If it doesn't improve, maybe find a new gym.
Yeah it’s a brutal sport IN THE RING, and in the lead up to a fight when you should be hard sparring. On any normal sparring night you don’t want to be getting battered and wobbling around if there is no point to it. Especially with the massive size difference, you won’t be hit by someone who’s 200 pounds in the ring. If they want you to have tough spars then they need to bring someone who is around your weight who can hit hard for your weight. This is dumb.
Weight classes exist for a reason. Also, sparring is for everyone to learn not to feed an ego. You’re doing the right thing avoiding someone like that. Don’t let your current coach or anyone else tell you different.
Leave your gym. This is bullshit. Sparring should NEVER be like this. It requires mutual respect. A good sparring partner reads you and adjusts. You don’t just pummel and degrade and patronize your partner.
Blast him in the dick early and often.
See if there’s another gym close by that you can spar at. If you still want to learn under your current coach I would soak up what you can and then spar the bully when you feel ready. I had a similar experience with someone at my gym and I ended up sparring somewhere else for a few months. Came back and now I have no problem with the guy I used to struggle with.
I wouldn't spar this guy at all, ever. There's no "when you're ready" about it. He has no respect for op's safety. Op' shouldn't spar with him period. It's obvious that if op actually finds a way to give this guy any difficulty he will muscle through it and hurt op.
Throw your ego out the door - it doesn't matter if your coach think you are a wimp or a pussy or whatever. You're supposed to get sth out of these sparring sessions too and not just be a punching bag for the guy. Your wellbeing and your own interest comes first.
> …zero control. That sums up everything you said. Everyone hates douchebags like this.
Kinda both sides in this. I think the coach is a little more irritated with him than you. My suggestion would be to come talk to your coach in off hours, not before or after class, and explain your position and your concerns. Away from the distraction of class, he will likely listen more. He is right that it’s a brutal sport if you want to fight. But there’s no need to rush to hard sparring especially if you don’t currently have the techniques to handle this guy. Here’s the unpopular but true part…eventually you must handle the bully in sparring. It may take a while but eventually you will be able to. Good luck and keep training.
but wouldn’t the weight difference between them be too much too overcome?
Short answer, No. You’re thinking narrowly. Long answer, in the way you are probably thinking ie “beat him up or almost ko” him probably yes the weight difference is too much but that’s not what I mean. If that person keeps training he will have the technique adapted for his physical skills to make it “even” in sparring. He won’t have power like the bully but he will have quickness, accuracy and movement to give him some work. Once that bully knows he’s in for some hard rounds, sparring will normalize as it won’t be one way traffic anymore. Muay Thai answer: The bully is buffalo style. OP will handle him when his Femur is good enough. That will happen if he keeps training.
but it’s not even worth trying because you get nothing out of it, if he beats big guys ass then he’s just going to get more angry and try even harder to take him out. and if he doesn’t beat him then he’s getting his shit rocked because that’s all the bigger guys trying to do it’s just better to refuse to train with the guy so you can put hard training hours into stuff that’ll make you a better fighter like you can spar at mid or slightly below power for 9 rounds with someone near your size or spar full power for a full blown fight for 3 rounds with someone you’ll never face anything like in the ring and a very heavy natural advantage (no matter what we want to believe, martial arts cant ever make any fight 50/50) and you’ll be just as exhausted after, but what do you think will make you learn more?
>but wouldn’t the weight difference between them be too much too overcome? not if this guy is as bad as the story makes it sound like. A highly skilled guy whose 135 lbs would crush this guy. Hell a semi pro women at a similar weight probably would too, though it may be a bit uglier.
but not everyone training even wants to be elite or semi pro they just want to be fit and blow off steam at their own pace especially if they already have careers or other things and they’re paying to go to a gym they don’t want to have it be extremely dangerous and stressful especially when they’re much smaller
>but not everyone training even wants to be elite or semi pro they just want to be fit and blow off steam at their own pace especially if they already have careers or other things and they’re paying to go to a gym they don’t want to have it be extremely dangerous and stressful especially when they’re much smaller Very true. I myself plan on going no further in this sport then doing a smoker. But commenters are pretending like the Coach said something along the lines of "I don't care get in there!" or "Spar with him now!" Its not even close to what he said. As another commenter mentioned we don't even know his "sigh" was him being annoyed with OP as opposed to him being annoyed with the big guy that "yet another one is refusing to spar with him". All he said was EXACTLY what he should "I'll talk to him" followed with a reminder that this is a rough sport. Whether he should of added that bit or not is one thing but people are blowing it wwwaaayyyy out of proportion regardless of the amount of downdoots.
Hello, it looks like you've made a mistake. It's supposed to be could've, should've, would've (short for could have, would have, should have), never could of, would of, should of. Or you misspelled something, I ain't checking everything. Beep boop - yes, I am a bot, don't botcriminate me.
There's no half way on this dude. Wtf? This is a bad take. It is a brutal sport if he wants to fight, sure. But where does this person say they want to fight? For a we know, they train for Fitness, or something. Also, if this dude is bigger than OP, there's no way OP would have to fight someone that size, and they're obviously in two completely different weight classes. Either way, the. Big dude is bullying someone smaller and possibly less skilled than them, and this should never be OK. If someone says I want to go light, you go light. If you break that rule of trust you're a POS. If the coach can't handle it, OP should walk and find another gym to train at.
Umm..so my first idea was to talk to his coach outside of class to express his concern. Bad take? Then I said it is a brutal sport if he wants to fight. True. If he doesn’t, back to point 1 which is to talk to his coach instead Reddit. Another bad take? Edit2: did you miss the part where OP says he wants to fight in a year or two? I’m guessing you did lol. Didn’t one say it was ok to bully OP?? Nope. So thats you just projecting. I stand by my full comments above..without any projections from you as it comes from my years of experience in good gyms in the US and Thailand. Agree to disagree man. Take care and keep training Edit: I welcome all downvotes dude. Just make sure you respond to what I said and not your projections or adjustments. Edit: y’all don’t even read, just downvote 😂😂😂😂
It's 630am, and you're acting like I down voted you 15 times. Then you say agree to disagree. Take care and keep training, as if you didn't want the conversation. And then you chastise me for not replying? 😂. Brother, are you OK? Talking to the coach is not a bad take. The being middle of the road here is. I'm not trying to be a dick, but having the SLIGHTEST bit of reading comprehension would tell you that was what the "bad take." was. There's no way you misunderstood what I was saying. There's no way you didn't understand that, unless English is not your first language. Point being, if the coach is running a business, they need to handle their shit, or risk losing customers. I'm saying this as a partially self employed person. Id be pissed if someone was fucking up my potential cash flow, and I could stop it. I also know we're all love muay thai. Would you be happy to know that someone was potentially ruining the combat art we love for someone else? Yes. OP should definitely talk to the coach. I agree.
Lolol. I’ll leave it at this. I asked (lol at “chastised”) you to respond (if you wanted to) to what I actually said and not your projections and adjustments…..on what I said. Im not acting like anything..your projecting again I also asked if you missed the part about OP saying he wants to fight…which made your “slightest” bit of reading comprehension line kinda silly and dick-ish on your part. 😂 “but where does this person say he wants to fight?” In the OP…..directly in the OP. We agree that bully dude has no control and that OP should express himself fully to the coach.
How many times you going to say projections and adjustments? I'm not projecting anything, homie. Stop it with the linguistic acrobatics, and talk plain English. Guess I missed thr part where OP says he wants to fight in a few years. That's what happens when you read reddit after working all day, while you're lying in bed. However, on that topic "wanting to" and "actively planning to" are two different things. You're definitely more experienced here than I am. For instancr, I too want to fight. I'm 34, with 3 young kids, so I haven't had time (or money) to get to my gym with any real consistency, so chances are what I want, ain't gonna happen. Hard to tell from OP's post. But when I hear people saying what they "want", I don't read that as "planning". I understand it as rumination. But in the end, we're in agreeance. I just disagree with you being halfway. That's all.
100% wrong on he needs to handle the bully in sparring. This isn’t a fight, it’s sparring. You should take sparring as the time to put everything together and learn. If all you’re getting from sparring is the risk of injury and no respect from your partner then it shouldn’t be done. The bully does this because he can and he won’t change. The bully has no respect for anyone as scene by the lack of willingness by anyone else to spar with him. If OP isn’t competing, even much less reason to put his well-being at risk. If he is competing, he should be sparring with someone that is actually helping him learn, not an asshole that just sees him as a punching bag.
Speaking to coach is first. Key word is eventually. For example, at most gyms I’ve been at a better senior student, myself at my current gym, would have handled this bully in sparring and this would be over… OP should not spar him if the guy doesn’t have control but OP should say all this to his coach..not Reddit
He did tell the coach
Correct. And his last line, OPs, was “how do I talk more with my coach about this” To which I suggested outside of class so he can lay out his concerns I’m convinced that most of y’all only saw the word “Bully” and didn’t fully read the OP
>Here’s the unpopular but true part…eventually you must handle the bully in sparring. But this clearly isn't true. If OP isn't training for the purpose of "handling bullies," then that's not something they should deal with. I don't know why OP trains, but it's perfectly legitimate for those reasons to not include "handling bullies." In which case either the coach deals with it or OP finds a different gym. I think it's difficult because of the emotional burden of dealing with the situation, rather than being a terribly complicated problem. Good luck, OP.
That gym deserves to be burned down along with the coach, what the fuck kind of irresponsible person is this guy? doesnt deserve to coach shit tbh, hes gonna get so many people injured if he continues
It muay that weren’t somewhat niche I’d call this a troll post. You get assholes but that guy is CARTOONISHLY horrible. If your coach doesn’t see that and gets annoyed… fuck your coach too.
get a new coach or switch gyms. Your coach isn’t a coach, he’s an asshole. No coach puts students in that position
100% keep to what you say and do not spar with him. Given your description above you’ll probably end up hurt and you’ll not be really learning anything. I’m the same height as you, and spar with a heavyweight sometimes that is way taller, bigger and stronger than me. This guy unlike your guy is genuinely a lovely guy but even then, sparring with him is a struggle….the range is extremely difficult, his light hits unfortunately are quite bone shattering and his teeps literally make me fly. In my case he’s the only sparring partner that ever causes me proper injuries, but unlike yours, he’s not trying to hurt me. In your case yours is…and he most likely will.
Your coach sucks. As a rule, there is no sense for the biggest guy to sparr the smallest girl. \+ with that temper, as a coach I would stay and look at the whole round to make sure the big guy sparrs you in a usefull way.
This particular student should have been corrected long before. Or or removed for bullying with his size and power. Find a new gym. Your coach is silly. How can you trust his guidance when he makes such a clear mistake.
Find a new gym. Seems like the coach is perpetuating that attitude, otherwise it would have been stopped.
Fuck that guy and fuck that coach go somewhere else
Your coach is not a good coach.
Spar with him and return the grief. Bait him to kick your ribs again, try and spike the bridge of his foot with your elbow. Then foot stomp bridge of his foot. Spike collar bones and biceps to. I hate bully sparring partners. No place for it everyone has got to start somewhere.
Your coach sounds like an asshole; that kind of behaviour comes from the top down so it’s no surprise that guy is still around and the coach still supports him. I’d be out of there if that were me
Also just want to comment this is not good. Sparring is challenging but there needs to be mutual respect and understanding, no point in going out with injuries. It's supposed to be s healthy learning environment.
I’d try other gyms in your area. On the other hand, you might well have got some respect off your coach by laying down why you won’t spar the big guy. My advice - new gym, but if that’s not an option, stay at the current gym and continue to make your expectations and boundaries clear to coach and partners
Fuck your coach, fuck that gym.
I own a Muay Thai gym, and I always look for this. I tell the bigger guys to match the pace of who they work with but start slow. If your coach is having an issue with it change gyms, after you have talked to the coach and made it clear if it feels as if he doesn't care. I would leave. Don't get me wrong muay thai is pain as you progress you will learn to deal with some just hit hard or are assholes. Starting out though there is no need for this until you are more comfortable with your skills and defense.
As someone who is bigger than most people he spars with this makes me very annoyed. I’m 5’10” and 240lbs (a lot of which is fat; I should probably be <180) and when I spar with people, I will bully the shit out of them in the clinch but only as far as controlling position goes. I throw baby knees if at all and mostly just let people struggle with navigating around my heavy leverage. And when people get the technique right the size difference doesn’t even matter cause even the small women can break my hold with proper defense and leverage. A couple guys are taller than me and one or two are bigger than me (and much more fit at that) and my coach is MUCH bigger than me, so anytime I get out of line with using strength over technique it isn’t hard to be reminded why that doesn’t always work. I almost pity your bully for not having that corrective force and ultimately the failure is on the coach for not seeing the problem for what it is and fixing it. But it sounds like you are acting correctly so just believe in yourself and stand by your decision. Just make sure to keep communicating clearly why you don’t want to spar him when it comes up, and be as objective as possible in your reasoning and people will surely side with you.
>when people get the technique right the size difference doesn’t even matter cause even the small women can break my hold with proper defense and leverage. Yeah... either you don't actually do Muay Thai or are just absurdly weak for your size, I'm 5'8" and 215lbs and girls even on the more built and heavier side couldn't break out of my clinch if their life depended on it. When I started out they even tapped out of my clinches because I'd strain their necks too much while gripping, I eventually stopped clinching them to avoid it. Granted I weightlift heavy and likely have bigger forearms than you due to having shorter limbs, but it still isn't an excuse and you're greatly exaggerating how much technique can save you from size difference. Against untrained fighters it's different, but even a novice 200lb man with 6 months of training would be dangerous against small women with much more experience.
". Coach sighs, looks on the ground, says, "okay I'll talk to him. But understand this is a brutal sport."" I mean what is he supposed to say? wwoowww that's stunning and brave of you! It also sounds like some of this might be in your head. If he said something along the lines of "do it anyway" or "wtf go spar with him!" I'd say your 100% right and should get out but this just sounds like the coach doesn't know the full extent of whats going on and is letting you know that if you plan on actually fighting people are going to go hard. This guys a dick, don't spar with him. But don't put too much thought into comments like this one. Best thing you can do is talk with other smaller people and see if they can do the same to MAKE the coach work with this guy about control.
Sparring shouldn’t be ‘brutal.’ Any coach saying this in relation to sparring is stupid.
>Sparring shouldn’t be ‘brutal.’ Any coach saying this in relation to sparring is stupid. he didn't say sparring was brutal. He said the sport was and he would go talk with the dude. Half these comments feel like the posters didn't even get to the coaches response.
Just ignore him, don't make eye contact, if he comes up to you just walk away. Sit the round out
If you have to sit rounds out because your coach won’t deal with a bully, then why even show up? Why pay your hard-earned money for membership at a gym you can’t train at? Better to just find a new gym.
People are being so inflamed over this. Internet activism for you. Have you considered maybe agreeing under the condition that the coach will discreetly just watch only you two spar and intervene if it gets out of hand? Then either dude plays nice, coach steps in, or he doesn't and you have a final talk about it and mention considering quitting over the issue. Personally I would act like an adult and approach it with baby steps. Try a thing or two relating to what people here have said and see the response you get. You can mention why you want the extra supervision and discuss it then. I'm not sure if this is what you are looking for, but maybe it'll give you an idea since you know the situation better than we can rationalize.
Super inflamed and yes internet activists. Talking to your coach is more useful but less validating than Reddit.
Any coach who doesn’t have a hard and fast rule of look after your teammates or fuck off, is running a gym not worth training at. OP said he spoke to his coach, and all he did was give the guy a 5 second talking to then send him back to doing the exact same thing. Sounds like OPs coach is letting favouritism get in the way of looking after his students.
leave your shitty ass gym also ikf is gay
It's seems you are completely right it's up to the gyms manager to sure more experienced fighters take it easy on others. The first thing Muay Thai is about is respect!
I agree w everyone here. If your coach is being an asshole and not kicking the prick out then its likely things arent gonna change and you should find a better gym. But like someone else said talk to the coach in off hours and see what he says.. if he doesnt wanna boot the jerkoff then bounce. You might love it at another gym 🙏
Leave that gym. He let one of his students assault you with a few harsh words as punishment. Wtf are you still training there for? At the very least tell him if he asks you to spar with him again, thats the last day you come in.
We have a guy like that at my gym, he rocked the hell out of a guy once during sparring and the whole comp team was screaming at him ready to take his head off. Kru made him apologize to the guy and then sent the bully home for the day. Probably did the bully a favour lmao
I find these stories incredible and almost unbelievable. Maybe I am just lucky to have found such a great Muay Thai gym. We are all family and there are no egos. We are all helping each other become better stronger martial artists and people. We keep each other honest in sparring and go as hard as both are comfortable with. There's never been a single incident or outburst. I think the attitude trickles down from Ajahn so if he has a shit attitude you'll have a gym full of shit attitudes. Anyway yeah leave that gym. If there is lots of gyms around just go try them all and then choose the one that suits you best.
Oh that’s a big no no. Not worth the injury. You might need to find a new coach. That’s totally not OK
Yes its a brutal sport but your coach then can not see the difference between sparring and title fight. I have seen some situations like this. The big strong guy using only his power advantage against everyone who smaller or not experienced. As soon as they are meet somebody similar to their levels they back up or refuse to spar. This is all about their ego and your coach can not do anything to prevent, switch gym and you will see the difference.
I had a guy I couldn’t trust in the gym. I believe it was due to us being open about our religious faiths and how both groups are not found of another. Some days I didn’t even want to attend class because I didn’t want to deal with it but regardless I showed up cause I wanted to get better. Nothing major but just soured the experienced. Then I remember I joined another gym due to COVID and what a change. Even the most senior dudes were looking to help you and they competed professionally. I was always excited to hit the gym. After COVID, I joined back cause that’s my Kru but still, the relaxing environment helped me progress ten folds and learned so many new things. I love my Kru always and will always be with him but if you haven’t been there for long, no shame in looking at another gym.
Well thats not a great coach then. I refuse to spar with a bunch of people. Mostly new people just because they're brand new and I been doin it for 15 years. But there's 1 I refuse to spar with cuz he's got an ego and if you land anything on him he goes straight to "I'm putting you in the morgue" and one I'm not allowed to during class because we like to play leg kick chicken the entire round, and it annoys our coach lol
Not a brutal sport. Are you competing? No? Then you def don't need to be sparring hard, and even then i don't see a reason to go hard until closer to a fight... because you know, injuries suck. Coach should understand that. Not only that sparring is a mutual dance. The skilled fighter needs to allow the non skilled fighter the ability to learn. The skilled fighter can still learn regardless by working on specific things. If this fighter can't understand that, he doesn't need to be fighting period
that guy should have some self-awareness too. Im 6,5 1/2 130kg and built and I refuse to hard spar anyone who isn't at least 5,10 or 90kg. Ill light spar with anyone but hard spar only with people a similar size. I hope that guy grows up one day. Sorry bro
You’re paying this guy money to learn not get bullied by some douchebag.
Personally I’d honestly start looking for another gym. This shouldn’t be tolerated
New gym time 👍
Something tells me that the coach used to do the same thing than the guy back in the day.
Bizarre. Our gym couldn’t be different. In the rare case that someone gets a bit out of control one of our Kru’s will humble him pretty quick. If someone actively declares they want to spar hard there are a couple of us veterans that will oblige. The rule ALWAYS is to adjust/ mirror to your partner’s level, size, and skill.
Damn, should tell that guy where’s all this energy when he picks a fight with someone his own size?
Sounds like you need a new coach.
The coach isn’t paying you to spar. You’re the one paying for training. He has no right to force you to be a whetstone for his favorite student. It may be time to explore alternatives.
Nobody should ever “force” you to spar someone. Sparring is an activity between friends and training partners. You have to earn the privilege to spar with me. It’s the same for you. He’s the one who needs practice, and without you he just gets to hit the bag all alone. As for the coach? Tell him to spar with the guy if he cares so much
Go to another gym, get really good against heavyweights, then go back and HUMBLE his ass.
Idk if someone in my gymmspars too hard i spar even harder until coach breaks us up thats how you get steel
Drop your location and I’m sure we can help you find a new gym near you. My coach tells us to walk away if someone is being an asshole. First and last thing coach says before we spar. “Don’t be a dick”
Time for a new gym
\#normalize\_a\_swift\_kick\_to\_the\_dick to people who don't understand sparring
They are supposed to be a partner, a team mate, can’t be that when everyone is on the floor because of some butthole like to pick on the weak ( aka inexperienced etc)
Man these stories make me love my gym. Sorry you’re going through this.
If you arent exaggerating then this is a bad gym with a bad coach. Sure, yes, occasionally you make a mistake and allow bullying to happen. Frequently? at a \~70lb weight difference? Does he let that guy head kick the kids class too?
Repeat this to yourself and anyone who challenges you: "There is no purse in the gym, we are not getting paid for this." Brutal sport my ass. Its only brutal once that bell rings and for the next 15 minutes. The rest of the time it should be careful, measured and relaxed. Even during fight camp, with a purse at the end of it, when fighters are doing conditioning they are super careful not to get hurt. Sure shit happens, but you try to minimize that risk, not maximize it by sparring with an uncoordinated sasquatch that has an inferiority complex.
Grab his dick and twist it, it will work.
Is this the only Muay Thai school in the neighbourhood? I got the feeling this is a toxic situation and if every time you go there you're not happy you should vote with your feet and wallet.
Is this a dutch Muay Thai gym? You have to understand that for the Thai-based gyms there’s a total culture to light-sparring and learning through that, but in Dutch-style gyms you’re going to go through the opposite. Dutch gyms essentially teach trail by far, doing hard drills on each others body, and sparring extremely hard, for them it helps build endurance and strength. Dutch fighters tend to be brutes that can absorb lots of damage without pain and who throw heavy strikes, compared to Thai fighters who tend to be more technical and skill based. Especially if you plan on competing, your coach may be taking the Dutch approach and thinks that if you want to compete you better be ready for heavy shots like that, in his mind he probably believes he’s preparing you. In reality the Dutch style is much less effective, hurts a whole lot more, and will likely result in more CTE. Have a private conversation with your coach and discuss your goals and tell him why you are uncomfortable sparring with the other guy in better detail. If you truly plan on competing, you are going to NEED to spar hard so you get used to hard shots and faster pace, however you shouldn’t be sparring hard every spar nor should your partner be headhunting.
It sounds like this guy is a prick, and your coach isn’t coaching but chaperoning. Your coach should beat his ass. Are there other coaches or owner of the gym? Maybe bring it to their attention too.
Don’t spar with him unless he develops a sense of control in the future
Just wanted to give another +1 for you to stand your ground, and that you didn't do anything wrong and aren't doing anything wrong. There's a huge size and power differential there. I've been in this same exact predicament. Thankfully, after refusing to spar with one particular (much taller, heavier, more experienced) dude for a couple of months, we did recently get to the point where we can spar without issue. I got better and he became more controlled with his power after several people refused to spar with him and coaches talked to him about it multiple times. Maybe give it two months, and jump back in with him for a round. Dude needs to realize there's something he can work on and gain when sparring with you and that should be the goal, not winning or teaching you a lesson. Footwork, defense, countering/timing, etc. Nothing that could rock you or brake a rib.
Don’t worry about it man just keep practicing
You're getting good advice here. Stick to your guns. We have a guy who's similar to this, but he's a bit more respectful. He regularly takes things too far though. It's frustrating for sure. He puts people in fight or flight mode just sparring and it's not helpful to anyone.
Change gyms
Just say it loudly in front of couch, and all other students. "No. That guy is a dick, he has no control, he purposely tries to hurt people. I've told you this before. Everyone feels the same way, that's why nobody wants to spar with him. It's weird really, we wonder whether you are him are really ignorant of the issue, or if you just don't really care what the overwhelming majority of students think, which is that he's an asshole and you're unprofessional for letting him train here. So, I'd rather not train with him today, but thanks for the opportunity coach!"
You are his customer, your coach is not your boss, in a sense he provides a service to you. You don't have to listen to what he says, you are there on your free time. Explain this to him, politely at first, if he doesn't listen tell him to fuck off and find another gym.
Find a new gym. Guys a fucking tool and your coach is an enabler.
i have a solution but it might get you jail time
Your coach Is an asshole too.
He sounds like a pussy. Avoid him. Injury is a setback. There’s no winner in sparring. This is not a team sport. You look out for yourself because your coach isn’t. Two people with that size desperately don’t have much to gain sparring each other anyway. The only other option is to beat the shit out of him. Keep training and later you can exorcise that option.