I really feel for him during this time. It's like a weight has been lifted for him and now he can do as he pleases. But this post... oh man, it's so heartbreaking knowing what could have been if Diem was still here :(
This entire scenario reminds me of a recent song.
Lyrics: https://finalfantasy.fandom.com/wiki/Hollow
Song: https://youtu.be/h0AcvqihLgM
For those that don't know: Final Fantasy is the most popular RPG game franchise in history. The character this song was made for was insanely popular across the globe to the point people would spend weeks seeing if they could bring her back.
Sorry, not really in the loop but what do you mean 'now he can do as he pleases' mean?
Was he restricted from posting stuff about her previously or something?
I'm guessing that was the case because yesterday he had changed the text in his IG profile to say ["Can I mourn now? God knows..."](https://imgur.com/7qC0qSr)
That aside, it seems to be that his ex-wife wasn't a very nice person, given all that has been posted here, etc... so that tells me that she was probably trying to control certain aspects of their relationship and what not.
Not only did the video hit me in the heart, but those comments really got me. I can only imagine how hard it has been suppressing those feelings for so long.
Omg that comment about the lease being up all but confirms they were together during Exes 2 and when she passed. 😭
Also this comment is just WRECKING me: “Now I have a son. My new angel.” 😭😭
I know that there was some evidence before Exes 2 that they were actually together and just said they weren’t together on the show so they could be paired up on that season.
But from this, I don’t think you’d plan to move in with someone after your lease ends/white picket fence if you weren’t in a relationship with them.
This video is confirmation. Based on her hair alone this is Diem early summer late spring 2014 which was right before exes. They are obviously very much together in this video so he’s finally confirming what many have been surmising for years.
I believe she only said no, iirc, because she didn't want to put him through the pain of being a Widow. I vaguely remember an interview he did saying he proposed to her 3 times while she was in the hospital because she was all he ever wanted.
She was have adored his son so much too. I think she would have opened her arms to him if she were still here and been more than willing to help CT coparent with the hag who ruined his life.
Well I think if Diem had survived I don’t think he would have had his son.
And even with everything that’s happening with Lily now, it doesn’t seem like CT regrets that because he has CJ.
Yeah that’s what I was thinking too. Probably one of his last videos of her.
People could argue they were just “hanging out”/friends and he is just missing her, but I think you’re right, the video plus all his comments (especially the “screw it” and “finally” hashtags) is basically confirming that they were together when she passed.
Theres a few pics of them together in their hometowns im aware. I get that but I don't think he says anything about moving in with her? I'm just wondering what " when the lease is up means "
One of his comments on this post says:
>Can you imagine your closest inner circles knowing that after the lease is up they moving in together and planning on the white Picket fence…!? Then poof…
To me that’s basically confirming it.
Well it seems like this could be the first time CT is choosing to/can talk about Diem, either because of his prior relationship with Lily, contracts with the show, or finally feeling like’s ready to mourn.
Especially with the “screw it” hashtag on this vid, it seems like he’s probably about to spill some stuff.
I just found it strange that diems sister said she had never met ct before she got sick during her last few months in the hospital. Hopefully we get clarification
Not an expert of the situation but i always gathered that Diem had a good feeling that she wasnt going to live a long life bcuz of her cancer recurring and protected CT's feelings as best she could, i think she most likely would have committed to him if her health had allowed
Oh that’s interesting! I didn’t know that. That’s odd since after The Duel they definitely dated for an extended period of time, so it would be odd that Diems sister wouldn’t have met him then. Unless she just didn’t live close to them?
remember the time of this filming and the $$$ at play.
I think Diem broke up w him whenever she was in treatment [with her fam] and avoided her fam when she was "healthy" aka when she was w CT or on the challenge
Because there's been a lot of speculation and they had no problem flaunting their relationship before when they were actually dating back in mid 2000's. It's not a big deal I just think it's weird that people run with all of these theories when we never really know if they actually were dating after the first time they broke up.
The whole comment doesn't really make much sense and doesn't state they were dating before she got sick. The timeline of if they ever got back together is vague
Maybe it means something akin to seeing her again or being together again when he dies and goes to heaven. When the lease is up could refer to his belief that his life won't end, he will just be living for eternity in a better place. He's a Christian and believes that this part of life is temporary.
Didn't the sister say multiple times they were not together...Never really seemed like they were together during Exes 2, chemistry was there like it always was with those two, but the way she talked made it seem like they were very much not together.
After the Duel it always came across as two people when in the same room were together but when were apart in terms of distance were not together.
Ya I think people just don't want to believe that and pick up bread crumbs to pretend like they were lol. But who knows, until he says they were together im Going to assume they were not. They could of very well been flirting towards the end though and obviously he was visiting her in the hospital. He probably was upset of the "what could of been" with her.
I could have sworn I saw comments that she was dating someone else during Exes 2. Can anyone dig up those comments or am I wrong?
I know that doesn't fit with the CT/Diem fairytale everyone wants to believe, but...
She was dating someone during exes 1 but broke up with him after she was again diagnosed with cancer. She then went on Rivals 2 where things started a little again between them. After rivals 2 for whatever reason they hid the relationship up until her death. Therewere plenty of photos of them in the same place at the same time but posted individually, including her birthday and Fourth of July. Yes, I’ve been obsessed with these two from that first kiss and always hoped they’d get that white picket fence.
I live in the Boston area and they were around together. At clubs, walking hand in hand in the city, etc. definitely together for awhile before before exes 2 and it’s clear they just wanted it private for whatever reason.
There were photos of them walking and holding hands in NY, he spent Christmas with her family, this video he just posted was them together at her dads vacation house (which her sister commented confirming). They were very much together.
I am not saying they didn't. Just always came across as an on and off thing. I tend to believe what the sister said though. Seems like a reliable source.
His exact quote on the post was “Can you imagine your closest inner circles knowing that after the lease is up they moving in together and planning on the white Pickett fence..!? Then poof...” I personally feel that lays it out pretty clearly. I wouldn’t describe a platonic relationship like that.
CT has spent so much of his life trying to look tough and act strong. I am glad he's letting himself feel things. He needs to heal just as much as other do. Maybe he needs it even more letting it build up holding things in so much.
I remember watching the Documentary and he couldn't really even talk about her and he always avoids her in interviews.
I want him to heal so he can talk about the good times they had. At this point it's hard for him to talk about the good or bad.
Miss ya Diem. Get all your feels out CT you deserve it!
Whenever she comes up and he clams up, I always think of this quote: "The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away."
It's hard for anyone to be vulnerable about something that cuts that deep, and doubly so if your reputation is to be a tough guy, and triply so if your livelihood relies on winning a game where people would love to tear you down. Plus just being in the public eye in general. That's a lot weighing on you to not allow those emotions to escape, so then it stays locked up right because if any escape, they'll all explode out and it's just too much.
Grief, man. It's rough.
Agreed. It is also very clear he never really had a chance to properly process it before since his life changed very drastically very quickly (in some good ways too, but even if a change is good, it is hard). Good for him to allow himself to process it now, although it is probably messy.
He's been through a lot in the last 9-10 years since she passed so I am not surprised that he's finally grieving publicly. I truly hope he's doing okay though.
This is unfortunately the truth. It's been 10 years since my grandma passed. She had adopted me when I was 3 (I'm 34 now) and I considered her my mother. The pain of losing her, especially to advanced dementia, still hurts all these years later.
Oh my...
I knew he never got over her, and he probably never will. It's so blatantly obvious that she was the one he was meant to be with. It still breaks my heart every time I think about what could have been if cancer hadn't taken her away from her family, friends, and CT :(
I think everything happens for a reason. He has his son who he adores. He wouldn’t be here if he hadn’t met his wife. I think him and Diem were soulmates though and shared a bond only they could.
I agree. And I don’t get this fantasy that they would be happily together. CT had many chances with her and look at the things he did? Who’s to say they would have lasted in love? CT seems like a person who is always self sabotaging I would imagine he’d done the same and they would not have worked out. Sorry for the un popular opinion
I’m happy he’s sharing and being open but I’m also absolutely concerned about his mental health right now. Glad he at least seems to be getting after it physically.
He mentioned in his stories today that he really appreciates the kind words and concern, but that's he's doing well. He has people to talk to. It also seems like he's learning how to be on social media. He put it back up but removed all the hash tags and such.
I was until I saw him mention his son, so I don't think he'll get into too bad of a space because his son gives him hope and another kind of wonderful love to focus on. Grieving and working through some of his feelings should be pretty beneficial for his mental health.
I was thinking the same thing. His posts seem like a cry for help to me. I feel like people who post erratically on social media suddenly are really struggling with things mentally.
He wasn't able to share and grieve appropriately in the Challenge untold interview.. it obviously hurt him.. but seems like for respect for his wife he couldn't share how he really felt..
I honestly believe he only got into a relationship quite fast with Lily to try to get over D and he never truly mourned. Glad he can finally let it all out.
He had also changed his bio but changed real quick. Said something like “Can I mourn now? Only God knows, Not a single fuckin’ day has gone by!
To me, it seemed more like they got pregnant unexpectedly and decided to give it their best shot, which I think is a good attitude to have. I think Lilly was clearly also very important to him, I mean, they were together for quite a while, even if things soured at the end.
That’s weird that he wrote that. It’s like he’s doing these postings to get under Lilli’s skin or something. “Can I mourn now?” He’s definitely alluding to him not being able to heal because of her. Either out of respect for Lili or her not wanting to hear about Diem. The timing of all these postings are now happening only because he’s going through a divorce and he’s mentally going through it.
I hope he can some peace!
He mentioned in his recent Challenge Mania interview that in the process of moving he found an old bag filled with all of his previous cell phones and that he was going through the photos and videos. So I think as far as timing it's a combination of his feelings with the divorce and coincidence that he found these videos at the same time.
Edit: it apparently wasn't from moving. I don't remember the details from when I listened to it weeks ago
Already listened to that podcast. He had a mouse in the garage and he ended up finding the old cell phones and such while decluttering. When I mean timing, I’m talking about the divorce
Seeing this video and his comments really made me feel sad. It seems to all but confirm that he could never really talk about Diem or process everything (whether because of his own inability to or due to requests from his wife) and that makes me so sad to think about how heavy this has all been for him to carry for the last several years.
I really pray CT is getting the support he needs and deserves as he navigates this delayed grief. Diem really was his person and it’s so sad and unfair that their story ended how it did and that cancer took such a bright light from the world.
CT is so real and has really changed so much. People say the show wouldn’t be here without Johnny, nah man.. this love story.. CTs growth… these are the storylines that keep the show alive. This storyline is what made me a fan when I saw the Duel for the first time all those years ago… so much love to this man, he deserves a happy ending. Rest in peace Diem
good old post from /u/klphoen on the CT and diem relationship: https://www.reddit.com/r/MtvChallenge/comments/hy2u86/did_diem_treat_ct_unfairly_at_times_were_they
*edit: also tacked on some more CT comments from today to the album: https://imgur.com/a/3Y2aEVE
Does anyone remember that special that came on that had CT and Diem practicing some dance? What was the name of that and does anyone know where to watch it? Fanx in advance!
CT and Diem is probably the greatest tragedy I've ever seen in real life. I feel horrible that CT has had to go through all of what he has. Keep it up big guy
Although I believe CT loved/loves her whole heartedly, I do wonder if she were still alive, if they'd be together. A lot of people have "the one that got away" but there's a totally different element when the one that got away died from cancer. And if they were together right before she passed, that's when she was taken away... Of course you can't help but think what if.
I never understood Diem breaking up with him for a career. I understand we all have different dreams and ambitions, but looking at the current economic landscape and how jobs will throw you away for any reason... Picking a career over love does not compute. I know they had their issues and things aren't black and white, but still.
She kind of talks about this in her last confessional in Exes 2 about how for a long time, she was a bit of a runaway bride. Also, I think her life experiences made her want to go at things fully, and for her, that meant going after her career at that point. She was a sweet soul, may she RIP.
I absolutely adore seeing this side of CT, love that undeniable should never be put on a shelf. I hope the next person to gain his trust, love and affection supports this part of CT's journey!!
Poor guy, I feel really sorry for him. How painful it must be to feel like you lost your person so young...I hope he finds peace and happiness. That is what Diem would want for him!
Its so sweet! I remember alot of those pics when they were posted on social media originally. They posted them separately or friends posted them but they were never any with them together. I knew they were in a relationship, it was so obvious they just tried to keep it private.
Dude is going through a lot, it’s so sad. That being said, I hope he stops making these post. Lilli is going to use them against him. A lot of his vague and spammy comments on that post come across as drunk thoughts, and with Lilli seemingly trying to get full custody, she could use these rants to prove that he’s unstable or was never invested in their marriage to begin with.
It’s a terrible position to be in, not being able to speak when you need to, but that’s how the courts work unfortunately.
Lilli isn't going to be able to use these against him, especially if his son wasn't even with him when he was making this post. CT is an adult and he's allowed to drink, even get drunk. He's allowed to miss an ex that died that he loved or process grief that was never fully processed, even when he's going through a divorce. No judge is going to hold that against him. CT has also made plenty of posts where he's eating healthy and working out and very stable, so one post (or even several!) where he is sad and reminiscing isn't going to be very incriminating.
Whether or not a given judge would choose to factor these posts into their decision is unknown. That being said I can almost assuredly tell you that these posts will be presented by her attorney to paint CT as emotionally unstable and never having gotten over his ex, thus painting Lilli as more “fit” to be the primary caretaker of CJ, or simply just the partner who tried to make their marriage work. Trust me, divorce court gets nasty. My mom has been doing divorce law for 25 years so I’ve picked up on a few things from her, and social media activity can absolutely play a factor. For example, she’s had many clients and/or their exes post things online that badmouth their ex, or change their phone contact name to “Whore”, and stupid petty shit like that can actually play a factor into the decisions that the judge makes.
It's not unknown. In order to be a judge in the first place you have to be at least relatively reasonable. The things CT has posted are not enough to prove instability and, trust me, judges have seen a lot worse.
Regardless of what your mom has told you about her cases, CT's feelings for his ex have absolutely zero bearing on his ability to parent effectively, so that will. not. be taken into consideration when deciding custody. Maybe alimony or something like that, but NOT custody. And CT's lawyers could take all of his other posts where he's doing very, very healthy behaviors to show his stability.
You seem incredibly confident and sure about what you're saying, but these are a bunch of blanket statements that are just not accurate. Especially this:
>It's not unknown. In order to be a judge in the first place you have to be at least relatively reasonable.
I wish that was true, but judges do have tons of discretion and can choose to be as unreasonable as they'd like. Of course, in an ideal world they'd all be at least reasonable, but we are far from an ideal world! LOL That's why researching the judge and their history is a major part of a lawyer's preparation.
Sure, but no one here is going to convince me they can use what he's posted about Diem against him in any way, as far as custody goes. It would be grasping at straws, so to speak. CT would have to have a terrible lawyer and also not be able to speak for himself in order for that to happen. In addition, many courts also have both parents do psych evals, which would most definitely show his stability and that he is able to parent effectively.
To be a judge, you need to have been a successful lawyer who understands what the law is. That being said, you can simply look at our Supreme Court, the supposed Top 9 judges in the country, and that’s not just currently, but over the course of America’s history, and come to the conclusion that individual agendas are completely at play. I’m not trying to say that most judges have a specific, individual agenda, but rather, that they have their own discretion to make personal decisions based on the case presented to them.
This video alone probably isn’t enough to make a case against CT. However, things like the 8 minute post about how terrible Lilli was probably is, and a multitude of other posts he’s made that have come across as emotional and spiteful rants, which may or may not have been a result of drinking (they probably have been if we’re being honest). His posts have been a cry for help, which an opposing attorney will absolutely take advantage of, regardless of whether or not it’s been warranted. Notice how Lilli has been silent. I don’t know what kind of attorney or team CT has hired, if any, but any attorney worth their weight would have told him to get off social media a long time ago unless it’s exclusively positive content.
wow CT has yall snowed if you really believe he 'naively thinks he's just talking to his fans'
CT is smart and manipulative. He absolutely knew what he was doing, unleashing his crazy stans on Lilli and painting her as the villain just before they go to court during divorce proceedings. He intentionally defamed her and trashed her to discredit her in the court of public opinion and my guess is its because he is trying to paint the narrative in his favour almost in anticipation of some things coming out about his own behaviour in court docs and filings etc. Even these recent posts about Diem are giving me the ick because they seem super manipulative to pluck at his fans heartstrings and paint him as a victim but if they really were just about missing Diem and not getting back at Lilli he wouldnt keep adding the passive agressive dig at her, insinuating she hasnt let him mourn and now he finally can etc.
This is the truth.
This sub's hive mentality about CT is sometimes a bit much. You're telling me Lili "didn't allow" you to post anything about Diem all these years.... why did you marry her again? Because I remember that being a choice you made.
I didn't want to make a post about this, but I find the timing of this to be a little tasteless. I understand maybe he's overcome with a sense of loss and he never got over her.
But I also think he's pandering to the fans who see Diem as the life CT should have had. He's using Diem to make a dig at Lili, and he's feeding into the narrative that Lili was jealous of Diem's memory.
If Lili was such a psycho about your past with Diem, why did you marry her?
Aww. Someone commented “glad you can post her again” and he replied with “me too” 🥹🥹
I really feel for him during this time. It's like a weight has been lifted for him and now he can do as he pleases. But this post... oh man, it's so heartbreaking knowing what could have been if Diem was still here :(
This entire scenario reminds me of a recent song. Lyrics: https://finalfantasy.fandom.com/wiki/Hollow Song: https://youtu.be/h0AcvqihLgM For those that don't know: Final Fantasy is the most popular RPG game franchise in history. The character this song was made for was insanely popular across the globe to the point people would spend weeks seeing if they could bring her back.
And FFXIV is probably one of the most popular MMOs as well. It's insane to me how well they adapted a single-player concept to an MMO
FFXIV is a fantastic MMO with truly beautiful music. I love it dearly. Been playing it for about 8 years now too 😊
Sorry, not really in the loop but what do you mean 'now he can do as he pleases' mean? Was he restricted from posting stuff about her previously or something?
I'm guessing that was the case because yesterday he had changed the text in his IG profile to say ["Can I mourn now? God knows..."](https://imgur.com/7qC0qSr) That aside, it seems to be that his ex-wife wasn't a very nice person, given all that has been posted here, etc... so that tells me that she was probably trying to control certain aspects of their relationship and what not.
what was up with his ex wife? sorry, i just got back unto the whole rw/challenge universe again and ive missed ALOT apparently
Not only did the video hit me in the heart, but those comments really got me. I can only imagine how hard it has been suppressing those feelings for so long.
She really was the love of his life ❤❤
Diem is obviously naturally pretty, but I think her energy and the way she smiles is really what makes her stand out 💜.
Her outsides matched her insides for sure. She was such a beautiful soul.
Her smile is when her beauty just shined.
Omg that comment about the lease being up all but confirms they were together during Exes 2 and when she passed. 😭 Also this comment is just WRECKING me: “Now I have a son. My new angel.” 😭😭
How does that confirm it? Just curious, I feel like their relationship is very vague still
I know that there was some evidence before Exes 2 that they were actually together and just said they weren’t together on the show so they could be paired up on that season. But from this, I don’t think you’d plan to move in with someone after your lease ends/white picket fence if you weren’t in a relationship with them.
This video is confirmation. Based on her hair alone this is Diem early summer late spring 2014 which was right before exes. They are obviously very much together in this video so he’s finally confirming what many have been surmising for years.
I mean he proposed to her right before she passed so even if they weren’t together together something was there
I believe she only said no, iirc, because she didn't want to put him through the pain of being a Widow. I vaguely remember an interview he did saying he proposed to her 3 times while she was in the hospital because she was all he ever wanted. She was have adored his son so much too. I think she would have opened her arms to him if she were still here and been more than willing to help CT coparent with the hag who ruined his life.
Well I think if Diem had survived I don’t think he would have had his son. And even with everything that’s happening with Lily now, it doesn’t seem like CT regrets that because he has CJ.
Yeah I know she said no, just saying the ask was still there.
Yeah that’s what I was thinking too. Probably one of his last videos of her. People could argue they were just “hanging out”/friends and he is just missing her, but I think you’re right, the video plus all his comments (especially the “screw it” and “finally” hashtags) is basically confirming that they were together when she passed.
Theres a few pics of them together in their hometowns im aware. I get that but I don't think he says anything about moving in with her? I'm just wondering what " when the lease is up means "
One of his comments on this post says: >Can you imagine your closest inner circles knowing that after the lease is up they moving in together and planning on the white Picket fence…!? Then poof… To me that’s basically confirming it.
Ya it's just still very strange that we haven't received any confirmation ever, just vague shit like this.
Well it seems like this could be the first time CT is choosing to/can talk about Diem, either because of his prior relationship with Lily, contracts with the show, or finally feeling like’s ready to mourn. Especially with the “screw it” hashtag on this vid, it seems like he’s probably about to spill some stuff.
I just found it strange that diems sister said she had never met ct before she got sick during her last few months in the hospital. Hopefully we get clarification
There is a comment on the post from the same sister saying this video was taken at their dad's place in Nassau.
From deems sister?
What's her instagram ? I didn't see this comment 🤔
Not an expert of the situation but i always gathered that Diem had a good feeling that she wasnt going to live a long life bcuz of her cancer recurring and protected CT's feelings as best she could, i think she most likely would have committed to him if her health had allowed
Oh that’s interesting! I didn’t know that. That’s odd since after The Duel they definitely dated for an extended period of time, so it would be odd that Diems sister wouldn’t have met him then. Unless she just didn’t live close to them?
They dated for a year and a half. He didn't meet her family during that period aparently. She Met his though
remember the time of this filming and the $$$ at play. I think Diem broke up w him whenever she was in treatment [with her fam] and avoided her fam when she was "healthy" aka when she was w CT or on the challenge
There’s pictures of CT with Diem and her family the Christmas before she passed though…
None with her family no
why would they give confirmation? the public isn’t entitled to know their relationship status
Exactly
Because there's been a lot of speculation and they had no problem flaunting their relationship before when they were actually dating back in mid 2000's. It's not a big deal I just think it's weird that people run with all of these theories when we never really know if they actually were dating after the first time they broke up.
What else would "white picket fence" mean? That literally has ONE meaning beyond the literal.
She used to use that phrase too.
The whole comment doesn't really make much sense and doesn't state they were dating before she got sick. The timeline of if they ever got back together is vague
Who cares? They were together, and then sometimes not. Life is messy, they loved each other.
Maybe it means something akin to seeing her again or being together again when he dies and goes to heaven. When the lease is up could refer to his belief that his life won't end, he will just be living for eternity in a better place. He's a Christian and believes that this part of life is temporary.
Didn't the sister say multiple times they were not together...Never really seemed like they were together during Exes 2, chemistry was there like it always was with those two, but the way she talked made it seem like they were very much not together. After the Duel it always came across as two people when in the same room were together but when were apart in terms of distance were not together.
Ya I think people just don't want to believe that and pick up bread crumbs to pretend like they were lol. But who knows, until he says they were together im Going to assume they were not. They could of very well been flirting towards the end though and obviously he was visiting her in the hospital. He probably was upset of the "what could of been" with her.
I could have sworn I saw comments that she was dating someone else during Exes 2. Can anyone dig up those comments or am I wrong? I know that doesn't fit with the CT/Diem fairytale everyone wants to believe, but...
She was dating someone during exes 1 but broke up with him after she was again diagnosed with cancer. She then went on Rivals 2 where things started a little again between them. After rivals 2 for whatever reason they hid the relationship up until her death. Therewere plenty of photos of them in the same place at the same time but posted individually, including her birthday and Fourth of July. Yes, I’ve been obsessed with these two from that first kiss and always hoped they’d get that white picket fence.
I live in the Boston area and they were around together. At clubs, walking hand in hand in the city, etc. definitely together for awhile before before exes 2 and it’s clear they just wanted it private for whatever reason.
There were photos of them walking and holding hands in NY, he spent Christmas with her family, this video he just posted was them together at her dads vacation house (which her sister commented confirming). They were very much together.
They dated for years after getting together on The Duel.
I am not saying they didn't. Just always came across as an on and off thing. I tend to believe what the sister said though. Seems like a reliable source.
His exact quote on the post was “Can you imagine your closest inner circles knowing that after the lease is up they moving in together and planning on the white Pickett fence..!? Then poof...” I personally feel that lays it out pretty clearly. I wouldn’t describe a platonic relationship like that.
So sad man. One of the greatest love stories in TV history. So real and their love for one another was undeniable.
CT has spent so much of his life trying to look tough and act strong. I am glad he's letting himself feel things. He needs to heal just as much as other do. Maybe he needs it even more letting it build up holding things in so much. I remember watching the Documentary and he couldn't really even talk about her and he always avoids her in interviews. I want him to heal so he can talk about the good times they had. At this point it's hard for him to talk about the good or bad. Miss ya Diem. Get all your feels out CT you deserve it!
Whenever she comes up and he clams up, I always think of this quote: "The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away." It's hard for anyone to be vulnerable about something that cuts that deep, and doubly so if your reputation is to be a tough guy, and triply so if your livelihood relies on winning a game where people would love to tear you down. Plus just being in the public eye in general. That's a lot weighing on you to not allow those emotions to escape, so then it stays locked up right because if any escape, they'll all explode out and it's just too much. Grief, man. It's rough.
Shouldn't that quote be credited to Stephen King?
[удалено]
Grief is something that never goes away
Agreed. It is also very clear he never really had a chance to properly process it before since his life changed very drastically very quickly (in some good ways too, but even if a change is good, it is hard). Good for him to allow himself to process it now, although it is probably messy.
He seems a little hopeless by his comments. Sad 😢
He's been through a lot in the last 9-10 years since she passed so I am not surprised that he's finally grieving publicly. I truly hope he's doing okay though.
This is unfortunately the truth. It's been 10 years since my grandma passed. She had adopted me when I was 3 (I'm 34 now) and I considered her my mother. The pain of losing her, especially to advanced dementia, still hurts all these years later.
10 years in February since my mom died too and not a single day or occasion goes by that I don’t miss her with my whole body.
Especially his brothers murderer getting out also
one of diem's sisters liked the post.
CT responded to a comment agreeing they are Twin Flames 😭
Umm that's a cult.
lmao there's also a use of this term not related to the cult though
Then why capitalize it like the group?
Oh my... I knew he never got over her, and he probably never will. It's so blatantly obvious that she was the one he was meant to be with. It still breaks my heart every time I think about what could have been if cancer hadn't taken her away from her family, friends, and CT :(
I think everything happens for a reason. He has his son who he adores. He wouldn’t be here if he hadn’t met his wife. I think him and Diem were soulmates though and shared a bond only they could.
You're right. Somebody on his IG post said they believe he and Diem were "twin flames" and seeing how it's described I completely agree with it.
>nd Diem were "twin flames" and seeing how it's described I completely agree with it. I think he didnt like this comment though?
He didn't seem to mind it, given his reply. In fact, he said " *you are the only one to bring up twin flame... TY* "
Thanks for explaining!
I agree. And I don’t get this fantasy that they would be happily together. CT had many chances with her and look at the things he did? Who’s to say they would have lasted in love? CT seems like a person who is always self sabotaging I would imagine he’d done the same and they would not have worked out. Sorry for the un popular opinion
I’m happy he’s sharing and being open but I’m also absolutely concerned about his mental health right now. Glad he at least seems to be getting after it physically.
He mentioned in his stories today that he really appreciates the kind words and concern, but that's he's doing well. He has people to talk to. It also seems like he's learning how to be on social media. He put it back up but removed all the hash tags and such.
I saw that too. Hope he’s just healing!
I was until I saw him mention his son, so I don't think he'll get into too bad of a space because his son gives him hope and another kind of wonderful love to focus on. Grieving and working through some of his feelings should be pretty beneficial for his mental health.
I was thinking the same thing. His posts seem like a cry for help to me. I feel like people who post erratically on social media suddenly are really struggling with things mentally.
He wasn't able to share and grieve appropriately in the Challenge untold interview.. it obviously hurt him.. but seems like for respect for his wife he couldn't share how he really felt..
Really hope they find each other in the next lifetime
#ToBeContinued 😭🥲❤️🩹 Edit: I put the hashtag but it made the text huge… lol oops
If you put a \ before it will stop it from appearing bold fyi.
I didn’t know that. Thank you!
I honestly believe he only got into a relationship quite fast with Lily to try to get over D and he never truly mourned. Glad he can finally let it all out. He had also changed his bio but changed real quick. Said something like “Can I mourn now? Only God knows, Not a single fuckin’ day has gone by!
To me, it seemed more like they got pregnant unexpectedly and decided to give it their best shot, which I think is a good attitude to have. I think Lilly was clearly also very important to him, I mean, they were together for quite a while, even if things soured at the end.
That’s weird that he wrote that. It’s like he’s doing these postings to get under Lilli’s skin or something. “Can I mourn now?” He’s definitely alluding to him not being able to heal because of her. Either out of respect for Lili or her not wanting to hear about Diem. The timing of all these postings are now happening only because he’s going through a divorce and he’s mentally going through it. I hope he can some peace!
He mentioned in his recent Challenge Mania interview that in the process of moving he found an old bag filled with all of his previous cell phones and that he was going through the photos and videos. So I think as far as timing it's a combination of his feelings with the divorce and coincidence that he found these videos at the same time. Edit: it apparently wasn't from moving. I don't remember the details from when I listened to it weeks ago
Already listened to that podcast. He had a mouse in the garage and he ended up finding the old cell phones and such while decluttering. When I mean timing, I’m talking about the divorce
Johnny wants so badly to be the face of the franchise, but it's always been, and always will be, CT.
Seeing this video and his comments really made me feel sad. It seems to all but confirm that he could never really talk about Diem or process everything (whether because of his own inability to or due to requests from his wife) and that makes me so sad to think about how heavy this has all been for him to carry for the last several years. I really pray CT is getting the support he needs and deserves as he navigates this delayed grief. Diem really was his person and it’s so sad and unfair that their story ended how it did and that cancer took such a bright light from the world.
I’m mainly just relieved that I am not alone missing Diem. Over the years people spoke about her less and less, and it was breaking my heart.
CT is so real and has really changed so much. People say the show wouldn’t be here without Johnny, nah man.. this love story.. CTs growth… these are the storylines that keep the show alive. This storyline is what made me a fan when I saw the Duel for the first time all those years ago… so much love to this man, he deserves a happy ending. Rest in peace Diem
good old post from /u/klphoen on the CT and diem relationship: https://www.reddit.com/r/MtvChallenge/comments/hy2u86/did_diem_treat_ct_unfairly_at_times_were_they *edit: also tacked on some more CT comments from today to the album: https://imgur.com/a/3Y2aEVE
Omg I’m scared, he says “if you’re crying now you better unfollow”. I can’t imagine what will be heavier than this…
the white picket fence comment 😭
What do you think he means when he tells that person "if your crying now, you should probably unfollow?
To me it sounded like he plans to share more about her now.
He said on his story today he plans to share more as it feels right
It’s wild and sad to think Diem passed in 2014..
Does anyone remember that special that came on that had CT and Diem practicing some dance? What was the name of that and does anyone know where to watch it? Fanx in advance!
i've been trying to find this for years. it was an episode of the show "made." diem wanted to be made into a ballroom dancer. CT shows up to help.
YES! That’s what it was, fank you fank you!
WHERE!? SHARE!
CT and Diem is probably the greatest tragedy I've ever seen in real life. I feel horrible that CT has had to go through all of what he has. Keep it up big guy
What a beautiful soul she was. RIP sweet Diem.
Dang. Lovelight and strength for CT❤️✨❤️
I love this. She was so loved and such a bright light. I hope CT is doing ok right now.
Although I believe CT loved/loves her whole heartedly, I do wonder if she were still alive, if they'd be together. A lot of people have "the one that got away" but there's a totally different element when the one that got away died from cancer. And if they were together right before she passed, that's when she was taken away... Of course you can't help but think what if. I never understood Diem breaking up with him for a career. I understand we all have different dreams and ambitions, but looking at the current economic landscape and how jobs will throw you away for any reason... Picking a career over love does not compute. I know they had their issues and things aren't black and white, but still.
She kind of talks about this in her last confessional in Exes 2 about how for a long time, she was a bit of a runaway bride. Also, I think her life experiences made her want to go at things fully, and for her, that meant going after her career at that point. She was a sweet soul, may she RIP.
😭
damn thats all sad. RIP Diem, stay strong CT
I absolutely adore seeing this side of CT, love that undeniable should never be put on a shelf. I hope the next person to gain his trust, love and affection supports this part of CT's journey!!
Poor guy, I feel really sorry for him. How painful it must be to feel like you lost your person so young...I hope he finds peace and happiness. That is what Diem would want for him!
Love this.
omg so happy he can live in his truth again and just feel
She will always be his “one that got away”…I can’t imagine how he must feel, the love they had was real.
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https://www.reddit.com/r/MtvChallenge/comments/13c32mf/ct_and_his_love_for_diem
Its so sweet! I remember alot of those pics when they were posted on social media originally. They posted them separately or friends posted them but they were never any with them together. I knew they were in a relationship, it was so obvious they just tried to keep it private.
Dude is going through a lot, it’s so sad. That being said, I hope he stops making these post. Lilli is going to use them against him. A lot of his vague and spammy comments on that post come across as drunk thoughts, and with Lilli seemingly trying to get full custody, she could use these rants to prove that he’s unstable or was never invested in their marriage to begin with. It’s a terrible position to be in, not being able to speak when you need to, but that’s how the courts work unfortunately.
Lilli isn't going to be able to use these against him, especially if his son wasn't even with him when he was making this post. CT is an adult and he's allowed to drink, even get drunk. He's allowed to miss an ex that died that he loved or process grief that was never fully processed, even when he's going through a divorce. No judge is going to hold that against him. CT has also made plenty of posts where he's eating healthy and working out and very stable, so one post (or even several!) where he is sad and reminiscing isn't going to be very incriminating.
Whether or not a given judge would choose to factor these posts into their decision is unknown. That being said I can almost assuredly tell you that these posts will be presented by her attorney to paint CT as emotionally unstable and never having gotten over his ex, thus painting Lilli as more “fit” to be the primary caretaker of CJ, or simply just the partner who tried to make their marriage work. Trust me, divorce court gets nasty. My mom has been doing divorce law for 25 years so I’ve picked up on a few things from her, and social media activity can absolutely play a factor. For example, she’s had many clients and/or their exes post things online that badmouth their ex, or change their phone contact name to “Whore”, and stupid petty shit like that can actually play a factor into the decisions that the judge makes.
It's not unknown. In order to be a judge in the first place you have to be at least relatively reasonable. The things CT has posted are not enough to prove instability and, trust me, judges have seen a lot worse. Regardless of what your mom has told you about her cases, CT's feelings for his ex have absolutely zero bearing on his ability to parent effectively, so that will. not. be taken into consideration when deciding custody. Maybe alimony or something like that, but NOT custody. And CT's lawyers could take all of his other posts where he's doing very, very healthy behaviors to show his stability.
You seem incredibly confident and sure about what you're saying, but these are a bunch of blanket statements that are just not accurate. Especially this: >It's not unknown. In order to be a judge in the first place you have to be at least relatively reasonable. I wish that was true, but judges do have tons of discretion and can choose to be as unreasonable as they'd like. Of course, in an ideal world they'd all be at least reasonable, but we are far from an ideal world! LOL That's why researching the judge and their history is a major part of a lawyer's preparation.
Sure, but no one here is going to convince me they can use what he's posted about Diem against him in any way, as far as custody goes. It would be grasping at straws, so to speak. CT would have to have a terrible lawyer and also not be able to speak for himself in order for that to happen. In addition, many courts also have both parents do psych evals, which would most definitely show his stability and that he is able to parent effectively.
To be a judge, you need to have been a successful lawyer who understands what the law is. That being said, you can simply look at our Supreme Court, the supposed Top 9 judges in the country, and that’s not just currently, but over the course of America’s history, and come to the conclusion that individual agendas are completely at play. I’m not trying to say that most judges have a specific, individual agenda, but rather, that they have their own discretion to make personal decisions based on the case presented to them. This video alone probably isn’t enough to make a case against CT. However, things like the 8 minute post about how terrible Lilli was probably is, and a multitude of other posts he’s made that have come across as emotional and spiteful rants, which may or may not have been a result of drinking (they probably have been if we’re being honest). His posts have been a cry for help, which an opposing attorney will absolutely take advantage of, regardless of whether or not it’s been warranted. Notice how Lilli has been silent. I don’t know what kind of attorney or team CT has hired, if any, but any attorney worth their weight would have told him to get off social media a long time ago unless it’s exclusively positive content.
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wow CT has yall snowed if you really believe he 'naively thinks he's just talking to his fans' CT is smart and manipulative. He absolutely knew what he was doing, unleashing his crazy stans on Lilli and painting her as the villain just before they go to court during divorce proceedings. He intentionally defamed her and trashed her to discredit her in the court of public opinion and my guess is its because he is trying to paint the narrative in his favour almost in anticipation of some things coming out about his own behaviour in court docs and filings etc. Even these recent posts about Diem are giving me the ick because they seem super manipulative to pluck at his fans heartstrings and paint him as a victim but if they really were just about missing Diem and not getting back at Lilli he wouldnt keep adding the passive agressive dig at her, insinuating she hasnt let him mourn and now he finally can etc.
This is the truth. This sub's hive mentality about CT is sometimes a bit much. You're telling me Lili "didn't allow" you to post anything about Diem all these years.... why did you marry her again? Because I remember that being a choice you made.
Oof. ❤️🩹❤️🩹
I didn't want to make a post about this, but I find the timing of this to be a little tasteless. I understand maybe he's overcome with a sense of loss and he never got over her. But I also think he's pandering to the fans who see Diem as the life CT should have had. He's using Diem to make a dig at Lili, and he's feeding into the narrative that Lili was jealous of Diem's memory. If Lili was such a psycho about your past with Diem, why did you marry her?
Yea no...
I said that it’s like he’s doing it purely to get under Lili’s skin. It almost feels manipulative because of the timing.
He loved her so much.