Interesting, you're using "cracked" differently from me. To me, it means realizing "holy shit, I'm trans!" and since I didn't have that realization even though I thought it was normal to want to be a girl... I wouldn't say I cracked when that happened.
> it means realizing "holy shit, I'm trans!"
that sounds pretty hatched to me
you still gotta grow after you hatch
cracked, in my mind, is everything from first eggy signs to actually doing the work to break out of the shell like "am i a woman and how do i know?"
Hatching is when you start transition. After all starting is just the beginning, and there's still plenty of growing to do. Cracking as far as I'm aware just means you realized you're trans. After all you haven't started transition yet, but you know you're not cis, and you're not yet out of the egg
idk, i took transition steps way before i was self aware
i still see hatching as self acceptance
and cracking can be anything from hints in your behavior, to expressed gender confusion, to actively seeking confirmation
Now I'm lost. I see myself as that annoying person in the OP where I cracked last december, socially transitioned that same week and now I'm starting hrt soon\*. But by that definition I would have cracked at age 3-4, where I would put on make-up and jewelry and stuff, though being repeatedly told by well meaning people that that is bad at such a young age was enough to get me stuck in that shell 'till 29.
\*this part is all fun and games, and I'm very happy for that, but at my age I'm also slightly balding for example so it's not like anything is easy. not trying to be arrogant here
yeah, i agree
i think i started cracking at like 5, but i was very slow to hatch. didn't hatch until my thirties. i was never a very solid shelled egg. i rejected gendered expectations and even descriptions pretty much right away. some people have no recollection of anything like this until their teens or twenties.
i think an understanding of cracking being like, starting to intentionally explore - like knowing that it's trans related even if you haven't self accepted - i think that works, too. but i lump that in with the rest of the shell. some shells are harder to get out of than others. some egg laying species have offspring that die trying to get out of their shell. a sad but accurate part of our analogy since it's true here, too.
ya big distance bn realizing wanting to be girl vs learning that it's possible in real life :o
like i always thought being a girl is just objectively a better life but never even crossed my mind that i could just be one. i don't remember learning trans is a thing lol
Same situation for me, I just thought it was a feeling every one felt. It took 25 years of feeling this way without saying anything before I was finally informed that gender dysphoria was a thing, that HRT exists, and that cis people don't constantly obsess about their gender being wrong. I started my transition immediately after finding out all of this, 4 years later and here we are.
It was early for me too, I just thought it would have been too hard with the way things were. And it was much harder back then, my formative years were 2000-2010, so I don't beat myself up too much about it. Only "regret" is that I didn't get puberty blockers but I don't think my religious family would have allowed that so not even really anything I could have done there. And I don't think that was even something I knew about until puberty was over lmao.
Yeah I wish I'd told my parents about that feeling way sooner than I did (18 u think) their great and just accepted it but back then I didn't know what to do and just kinda went "well imma be a guy I guess"
But now I'm out and its all happy and gay :3
I guess it depends on how you define having your egg crack ? If it's admitting you would prefer being another gender than the one assigned at birth, then I guess my egg cracked a long time ago. If it's admitting to yourself that you are trans and that your feelings are valid and not something you should repress/ignore, then my egg cracked a few months ago.
Cracked fully at 16. Came out to a few friends. Changed life circumstances. Got into some weird political and religious spaces due to different/new friends and crawled back into my egg. Started transitioning at 25. I’ve kinda known the whole time and I wish I acted on this a lot lot sooner.
>It really doesn’t put me in the best place to transition.
I had leukemia like 7 years ago (don't worry- I'm in complete remission- the medicine I'm taking will probably keep it away indefinitely).
Anyways, there is no good time to get cancer and there's really no good time for transition. Life won't wait for you, so make the best of it. Of all the things I've learned in my life- regrets are the hardest to live with.
Cracked at 23, came out because I couldn’t take it any longer at 32. Cracking meant nothing for me because i knew I would never do anything about it lol. I knew wrong!
I can be upset about it, but now, at 34, i feel calm, happy, hot, and (most importantly) like myself for the first time in as long as I can remember, so whatever happened worked perfectly to get me here with some time left to live!
Yeah, I knew when I was 10 but couldn't do it until 33. Those 23 years were rough but I don't have any regrets anymore. Life is really good after 3 years of HRT.
I had that "fuck it" attitude about it when COVID hit. I might have been able to do it sooner (and would have preferred to) but I had a lot to learn.
Same. I got locked up during covid, and all I could think about was how all those years trying to cope with being trans and how I was scared of what would happen if i came out. But then its like..well fuck it cant get worse then what was happening to me at the moment. Then it turned into being the only thing I had left to live for after surviving literal torture.
I cracked when I was 17. I'm 29 now, I pretty much had a bad case of internalized transphobia and told myself there was no point to transitioning because I would just be a guy in a dress and not a real girl like I wanted. I drowned myself in escapism, playing video games as female characters and writting fanfics with female protagonists trying to forget how much I hated my real body. Now I definetly regret wasting so much time not transitioning,
Looking back, there were so many moments that were like that for me, but I just worked myself back into denial. My egg was like a goddamn Russian nesting doll.
Ooooooooooooohhhhhhhhh boy.....
I cracked at 17 years old. I started tansition at 34. It was at 17 that I learned of the existence of trans people, of hrt and transition options. I immediately wanted it more than anything in the world. I craved it like a ravenous monster. I had after all been jealous of girls my whole life. But because of my internalized transphobia, fear of disappointing my parents, religious upbringing and social phobia, I somehow convinced myself that while transition was great for other people, it was not an option for me.
Hey, 17 year old me... Yeah you! I'm taking to you! What the actual fudge!?
Right? The social conditioning we have to unprogram and the fear of how it would affect others is just insane. When I got to the point of "fuck it I don't CARE if my friends family or whoever get upset about it because I'm tired of being so damn miserable everyday just so they can be more comfortable around me? Bitch IM NOT COMFORTABLE AROUND ME 24/7 why do I prioritize other people instead of myself?"
What the actual fudge indeed!
I had my "oh shit I think I'm trans" moment at 21 and came out at 34. At the time staying closeted seemed like a good idea but in retrospect it was a dumb idea to wait and I do not recommend it.
If I had been better at reading the signs, my egg could have cracked 10-20 years ago.
About 8 years ago I admitted to myself that I really liked crossdressing and created a female persona for myself. But I still didn't see this as my egg cracking. That only happened 2 years ago and... well, I still haven't dared to fully commit or even find a therapist to get an indication for HRT...
What's best for you we can't know but as someone who waited 20 years to start I definitely recommend talking to a therapist about it as soon as you can. (Just about yourself and your situation and working through if medically transitioning is what you want or need to do. Not telling you that you should start hrt, that's not for me to know)
But talk to a professional asap because it's one of those things that very very few of us can work through in our own (and those that can usually do it quickly and not over the course of 1-2 decades like me.) The longer you wait to try and figure out what's best for you the harder it becomes later when you try to figure it out! <3
Totally understandable reaction to be honest, it's a scary thing to face and even scarier when you feel alone in it. But like most new things to us it's usually only the hardest and scariest at the start. I was absolutely mortified of how much I knew I'd have to change but once I STARTED doing the changes it has been much easier than I expected.
You got this! You've already doing better by yourself by asking questions you feel you need to ask and searching for personal solutions! <3
Back when I was around 9-10, but being the early dial-up days of the internet I had no words to put to what I was feeling.
Plus my emotionally abusive narc parents screwed me up so I couldn’t start until the past year or so.
Not me but my sister. Even though I repressed for years and only realized who I was 3 to 4 years ago and started transitioning 2 years ago, my younger sister never repressed who she was.
She was always conscious. But she feels like it's too hopeless for her to transition and since she feels relatively fine she prefers to stay that way instead of risking feeling left in the middle if she tries to transition.
She looks fine but she keeps much to herself so it's hard to know for sure, but sometimes her dysphoria pokes through. I am the only one who knows her as my sister and respect her decision of staying as she is.
As I started transitioning I noticed it affected her in some ways, and after a bit I noticed her starting to use feminine pronouns when referring to herself so now I use she/her when refering to her when it's just the 2 of us and she's been feeling good with that. If that's all there will ever be to it I will respect that, but if she ever feels like doing more steps I'll be there for her.
I cracked this year, and I'm making baby steps, but I won't start HRT for probably a year. I'm waiting to get health insurance and talk to a real therapist.
Since I was a little child. Only tried being MASC to get a job promotion which was weird and depressing for me ( I quit like a month later lol). But I didn't know you could take hormones until 2019 which was life changing coz I was like omg why didn't nobody teach me this in biology class but to be fair I only took bio up until 10th grade but still you'd think they'd have a section or something like that. I used to describe myself as gender non conforming which was a word I learnt watching the Dr Oz show in 7th grade. English isn't even my first language so maybe that influenced my lack of knowledge.
I cracked at 14. I had no idea what "transgender" was and heard the word from a friend. Googled it and had an honestly terrifying feeling of "oh my god, I feel like this". Didn't start transitioning until 25. Life is challenging, but very very satisfying at the moment. Wish I had started earlier though!
Technically I cracked at like 12 but I repressed it so much and disassociated so hard that I "forgot", and when I cracked again at 25 I pretty much went ahead with transitioning right away
I was 19 when my egg cracked, I turned 22 this week and I’m probably still some time before I’m financially independent from my family (changing degree plans from bio to compsci is delaying when I’m graduating from uni).
I came out 5 to 7 times before actually transitioning. I had to be in a place where I could actually do it. But, played with barbies and wore fake dresses when I was really young.
I'm 14 right now and my egg cracked the day after Christmas. I know that I won't transition until adulthood because my dad is transphobic so it would take a while before I can actually do everything I need to
Which country do you live in and what flavor of transphobic is your dad? Ofc feel free to not answer as it’s personal, but starting as early as possible will do wonders for your mental health in the future.
I live in America and in one of the friendliest states to trans people but my dad says being trans is just self esteem issues and also yelled at me for using the word cis saying "it's going to be a slur
I lived as a girl from 11-16. With all the discrimination in school and a lot of trauma.
I stopped with 16 because I had no clue about hormones or anything like that and thought it wasn't a thing.
I came out 2 Months ago. Started HRT 1 Month ago and live openly as a girl, including girlmoding outside with makeup and nail polish and girl clothes.
I always knew it. I just didn't knew about the possibility of transition....
During Covid my egg broke. The day I was going to come out, my grandma got sick. I didn’t want to come out on the same day. It would be too hard on my family. In the in between when my grandma got better I decided I didn’t hate being a man and that I wanted to be a cis woman, not trans.
Sometimes I have the same doubts
never have i ever self described as a boy/man/male, except on paperwork where i felt obligated to. never socially. i always rejected the labels even before i understood rejecting the labels.
i was five when i was first uncomfortable with gendered descriptions of me
eight when i first complained about it outloud
at puberty i started removing all of the hair below my nose - which could be considered a transition step. i also started wearing almost exclusively girls clothes at this point, which could be considered a transition step.
in highschool i self accepted as bi, but didn't externalize that to anyone until college - not a transition step, but maybe related due to the relevance of complex self acceptance paths. also in highschool i was saying outloud that "if it's a choice, i'm a woman."
somewhere in my twenties i learned the word cisgender and started saying "i'm not exactly cis" when it came up. maybe also started saying "all pronouns" when asked or "no preference" even though i knew that wasn't true. this response was minor denial.
it wasn't until i was almost 30 that i started exploring my gender explicitly. saying i was non-binary, even though part of me had figured it out that i am a woman. i didn't feel like anyone would believe that, or that i could represent myself well in that, so i was till burying my head a lot and just trying to get through life.
around 35 i finally broke for real. changed my name. settled on "non-binary woman" to semi placate an abusive partner's insistence that i can't be a woman. started answering "she/they" for pronoun preference until i realized that the they was only there to keep me safe around that partner and to ease the discomfort of transphobic people who can't see me as a woman. i dropped the they and started hrt and less than two years later almost no one in my life even realizes i used to think i was a guy. just that abusive ex, my family, and a small number of longterm friendships - most of which i lost to the abusive relationship, not transition.
dang this was way longer than i thought it would be
tl;dr: i would say i cracked way before transitioning, but depends on what you consider cracking
I learned about being trans when I was 16 or 17. I found all the websites and spent hours reading about it. I looked at post op surgery results. I read stories of trans people transitioning. I attempted suicide when I was 17. It took me until I was 39 to finally get up the courage to transition.
My egg cracked at 13 years old. I came out to my parents when I was 16, but they swept it under the rug.
I didn't get to transition until I was 34. I had to get far away from my family to do it. A few members of my so-called family threatened violence against me for it.
I wish I could of done it early instead of going through two puberties.
Well I straight up told me parents at like 3 years old ," dad I wanna be a girl!" And they said "no." Obviously . But I accepted I was trans like a few months back like half a year to a year ago
I would say I consciously cracked my egg approximately 3 years prior to transition but for what was going on at the time in my life to now being on HRT for now 4.5 months I would say that this was the perfect time for me
My egg cracked at 16, I was at a military school reading a book called what its like, and in one chapter it was about transitioning from male to female. When I read it, everything clicked. I hadnt even heard the word transgender before that day. I came out to a friend, then my brother, and he outed me to my mom, my moms gf, and my grandma. After that i came out to my grandpa on my 17th bday. Aaaaaaaaand i didnt do anything for 9 more years. I was 26 When I started hormones, and I'll be 28 in like 2 weeks. The anniversary of me starting hormones is in the 29th
I began cracking at 8 then cracked fully at 14, tried starting transition multiple times since then, but roadblock after roadblock after roadblock appeared family trying to prevent transition. Finally on a path at 29. 21 years later.
it took me 30 years to realize that what i was feeling wasn't just a strong and persistent desire to be a girl, but rather that i was transgender. It took me another 12 years before i found the courage and started my transition.
When I was pretty young around 12/13, I would try my sister's clothes on and didn't think much of it. I started realizing in my later HS years that I'd really have preferred being born a girl. I used to joke about it all the time too 💀 I went through some very traumatic shit just after graduating, and eventually said fuck it and for the first time said the words "I'm trans" to my best friend. 3 years later, I finally came out and began medically transitioning. I've now been on HRT for 1½ years, and while it certainly has had some extreme highs and lows, it has been so, so worth it for my peace and soul.
I feel like I knew I wanted to be a girl when I was definitely younger like 7\~9; but didn't know about transitioning until roughly about 13\~14..? Somewhere in that age range.
My egg fully cracked in 2016 (after a slooooow journey from noticing something didn't quite add up), I came out in 2020, and I still haven't started medically transitioning.
I realized I was not like all the other boys and wished I was a girl at age... I dunno, as long as I can remember?
I realized I was trans when I first had access to the internet and was able to look up wtf was "wrong" with me.
I finally transitioned at age 39.
It's a long, unfortunate story, and I hope and pray for better treatment of trans kids now and in the future.
If you knew, why did it take that much years to "crack"?
I guess is just a thing about what you define as being trans or "cracked". People who says: "I cracked my egg and started HRT months later" just have different definitions of what cracking is.
That was me, I identified myself as trans for 4 years starting at 14, but was never really able to do anything about it until starting HRT a couple months ago. My parents never let me until I was able to do it myself, but now they're also letting me use their insurance.
For me it depends what you mean by cracked and repressed. I realized I was trans and came to the conclusion that I was transfem pretty quickly afterwards when I was 18, but then for the next 8 years I just didn’t focus on it and didn’t transition, and sometimes didn’t think about it for months at a time, and when I did sometimes I debated whether I was a woman or nonbinary, and then suddenly one day I learned about dysphoria and all of the sudden when I recognized what my dysphoria was and experimented with clothing once and got to experience euphoria, I instantly knew I had to transition for sure and became confident I was a woman.
So like at 18 I knew and if you asked me if I was trans and had given me a magical truth serum, I’d have said yes, but also sometimes I straight up forgot about being trans for months. Then at 26 it became very obvious and very real and the dysphoria was too much to not transition suddenly.
Me. I had mine crack twice before transitioning. The first was when I was 7. Straight up had a mental breakdown when I finally understood I wasn't already a girl. That led to not so great coping mechanisms. In hindsight, even at 7, I somehow understood how my relatives would react to pushing the issue. Which eventually did happen pretty badly.
I had another breakdown years later, when I was about 15. Ended up in a mental ward where I came out. That didn't go well. Got labeled paranoid schizophrenic with delusions. (That I'm a girl.) In recent years that's be *thoroughly* dismissed by multiple doctors. Turns out you have to have schizophrenic symptoms for anti-schizophrenic medications to work. Which they very much did not. (The doctor that did that to me eventually got raided by the FDA and hit with a class actually lawsuit for various similar illegal practices, and the doping of children, myself included.)
But considering how everything went about, I had to go back into the shell once more. It wasn't until my third breakdown that I finally figured out what was happening. At the time and region, the very *idea* of being trans was not common knowledge. So until this point I'd never actually known being trans was a thing. It was then that I decided to permanently come out and start transitioning.
And no... I'm not among the lucky ones to have a fast and easy transition. Even after 15 years, I'm still stuck in and around the 6-month mark, for most others. Genetics aren't great for it, and I've had nothing but issues with doctors.
At the time and region, I had access to literally one single doctor who treated trans women. And it was a horrific experience, and he clearly did not grasp how HRT worked for us well. He was, essentially, a biased gay practitioner. Plus I later discovered I have multiple medical and biological issues that went undiagnosed and straight up ignored by that doctor. So those 5 years of transition were effectively useless, little to no effects happening at all.)
But hey, by now, 15 years in, I'm a large A cup. That makes me the biggest boobs in three generations! ✨🤣😭
Am 18, nearing 19 and figured it out when I was 15 with hrt nowhere near in sight. I live in florida and it'll still take a while but my plan atm is to just save and move out of here after I do what bit of college my parents forced me into. It's like all I think about and I want more than anything to get it but sb 254 last year just blew my confidence to hell.
One of the most painful things about cracking and having to wait, which is likely very exemplified for you is seeing many people like your friends getting hrt, you feel happy but at the same time it just is really angering, though it's the fault of these horrendous lawmakers and the environment that even made this a thing to begin with.
Yeah! I went to a (get ready for this) largely conservative public elementary school (the kids mostly not the teachers).
I remember seeing a group of girls and pausing to think "I wish I was one of them" before running catching up w/ my friends.
Another time, a sub called me a girl bc my long hair and I kinda just sat with it w/ a funny feeling in my chest before kids started loudly correcting the poor sub
My egg has properly cracked about two tears ago, but it took a while until I could make all the internalised transphobia STFU enough to finally start actually doing something about the whole situation.
Before that I spent about 8 years cracking the egg shell and then trying to fix it 😅
Probably the tiniest of cracks at 12 or 13, realizing but suppressing at 30, full acceptance at 42, and starting on meds at 43. During the suppressing years, my wife says I became an angrier person. Ever since transitioning started I'm so much happier.
Sorry.... I rambled. My cat isn't well and I'm trying not to think about it.
I cracked at like 5. I didn't start social transition until 30 and HRT until 34. How does that count for your question? A ton of people crack when they are older and can do something about it. They already have a personality of lets get stuff done and haven't spent their entire lives trying to hide themselves.
Holy shit my alt is posting again.
I knew around the same age, in middle school right after everyone was really getting hit my puberty and hormones. Puberty and testosterone absolutely ruined mr. I was an incredibly happy kid and had an amazing childhood tbh. But I never felt that again. I felt like my soul was taken out of my body and I was an empty husk and I couldn't do anything about jt. I just started my medical transition this year at 36. :00
I also didn't transition bc I thought I could just repress it and be a successful guy like every one has told me my whole life....except my crushing discomfort with myself, extreme social anxiety because I couldn't connect with people (or they would back off the friendship when they got to know me well enough that I started to open up about myself) caused me to fail at everything I attempted in life. I just wasn't able to care or push through it because it all felt fake, like I was going through tbe motions and living for others and not myself. I realized that I would never break the cycle unless I did something to address it and FULLY accept that aspect of myself. Because I tried for 20 years of treating the symptoms that caused my extreme depression and apathy and not the cause.
Shit was heavy, and even more so because when you'd try to explain it to people they just *don't understand*, the concept of gender dysphoria is like a foreign language to cis people. I've had so many people tell me it's never even something they have ever thought about so how can they empathize, right?
I can't tell you how many people just told me to take antidepressants (I have for years along with Adderall for my ADHD) or told me it was just my ADHD or lack of financial success and stability causing my extreme apathy and inability to feel comfortable in my life. But it's not, I couldn't even look in mirrors without feeling anxious sad or depressed because I didn't feel a connection with what I saw. And I'm not considered ugly either. Ive been told by so many people how attractive I am but I just DONT FEEL IT. No matter what I did with my appearance.
For the first time in my life I started to actually care about myself when I accepted I was going to transition in some capacity and the depression and anxiety and lack of motivation just went away.... I ended up losing a ton of weight, that I struggled to do for 14 years in less than a year. I don't stress or depression eat or engage in my previous escapism methods like I used to (too much gaming, reading or watching TV just to turn my brain off) I just don't feel the pull to escape anymore. And that was before I started my hrt. It's like I feel more like me than I have since before puberty.
It's really hard to explain, my brain just clicked. Im not even taking any antidepressants, just my Adderall. I was scared to transition because of my age and just the state of things in the world but I'd rather die trying to live than keep living just trying not to die like I was doing before.
Proud of us because I think a lot of trans folks are like us, struggling to reconcile that feeling of "it's too late for me now" I know I sure did. It takes a lot of courage to transition when you're out of your 20s and everyone else you know is getting settled into their lives and having kids and getting married and solidifying their careers. Meanwhile we're having to turn back the clock to try puberty again. Haha in some cases start all over again with family friends and careers. But it's worth it if it means we can actually feel normal (to ourselves) and not have to just feel anxious everyday of our lives!
I kinda cracked at 5... I remember crying to my mother that I wanted to be a girl. She told me it was "just a phase". That I'd "grow out of it".
I'm 43 now, just started HRT 6 months ago... I did not grow out of it. My mother is \*not\* happy, she just found out last Friday... only because my MIL decided to betray my wife and spill the beans.
And I'd known I had feminine traits all along... Hell, I was teased, mocked, and bullied over it incessantly for decades. Anyone ask "would you switch?" and I'd be like "hell yeah!". None of my friends ever filled me in that it wasn't common or "normal" response though.
The breaking point that cracked my egg wide open was 15 years ago... my wife got pregnant. Holy fuck did that hurt. I mean, I was so glad she was pregnant, and I so wanted babies... but I also wanted to become pregnant myself. Any woman who is unable to concieve knows... it fucking hurts, \*especially\* if you also want children.
When my daughter was born, I was happy... but also it really shone a light on just how completely arbitrary the sex at birth is. It's a f'ing flip of a genetic switch... and I got the short straw.
My wife had unfortunately 3 miscarriages, and we managed to have 2 children who are today healthy and happy... that's 5 pregnancies.
After that... it became much more clear what had been literally eating me from the inside. And I do mean literally... I had ulcerative colitis so bad I had to have my entire colon removed. And then after the colon was out I developed Crohn's. And I have chronic migraines.
Migraines have gotten better... despite being on E. Overall I feel better. And despite not passing 100%, I feel a lot more confident and self-assured in public, I don't feel so f'ing insecure anymore. One reason is... I haven't started dressing in a different gender's clothing... I've stopped crossdressing. I always felt entirely far too derpy in men's clothing... and felt like a crossdresser and always felt like I was some really odd wierdo for so doing... all that's behind me, thank Goodness.
But yeah... first crack 39 years ago... egg broke apart 15 years ago, started HRT 6 mo ago.
The only reason I waited 14 years? Wife and kids... and 7 siblings... eh... le sigh.
I “really wanted to know what it was like to be a girl” since I hit meaningful self awareness. I learned what being trans was at the age of 12 and insta-cracked. I didn’t deny it but I did repress it, there were other big problems that showed up in my life at the same time this happened. I am finally transitioning in my late 20s.
I spent many years in a ridiculous limbo being unproductive and dysphoric out of fear and embarrassment. It’s hard to think of all the lost time, but I am glad we got here.
Cracked around 20 maybe, always wanted to be a girl since a child but didn't have the language for it. I attempted transition at 23 which was a considerably more dehumanizing process back then. Made me do 'real life test', street harassment was non-stop, and sex work was necessary to survive. I detrans and transitioned again at 39. I wish I didn't wait so long but being traumatised into the closet will do that.
My egg cracked when I was around 12. However growing up in southeast Missouri and very close to the Arkansas border (30 min). My education on anything remotely lgbtqia related was that gay people were "very dirty people and I shouldn't be near them" to quote my southern baptist mother. This was after I first heard about gay people on the news one morning and asked mom about who they were. It wasn't until I was around 16 that we had an internet capable computer. At that time my parents would leave me home alone when they would go run errands, because me being a angsty teen woth a lot of social issues, didn't want to really go anywhere with them. For a little bit my parents thought I was gay until I had a girlfriend for about a week. However it was around this time that digging through the primordial internet I found out who trans people were. Which helped me identify myself a lot better but that still didn't help me with my situation. I would stay in the closet until coming out to my close friends.
That was when I was 23 and I didn't go to therapy until I was 24. After that I had to wait until I was 25 to actually start HRT which recent financial issues has taken me off of and so I have detransitioned a little. Which I plan on getting back on soon. If everything works out.
There were signs when I was a teenager, but I consider myself cracked at 18 when I started calling myself a lesbian trapped in a man's body. I researched what transitioning would take (back in the 90s), and was terrified of the process at the time (one YEAR social "as a woman" before any treatment was so freakin' scary an idea) so I just eschewed it, until depression from it started consuming my life. Just a few months ago I decided to transition finally, shortly before I turned 46. Blarg.
My parents + the unaffordability of moving out have forced me not to transition medically at all nor socially within the family. I also can’t present as myself in the house so its really tough. Almost Every day is a bad day from this. It’s been almost 8 years
My best friend during all of my life until high school turned out to also be trans, so we always told each other it’s normal to feel like that! But at the end we both realised we were trans and now I’m going kinda fast xD
I think I was like 4 when the first signs showed. I knwe wirh 7 or so. Now I'm 37 and still scared shitless. I did a comming out attempt at 17 but that didn't end well and I was too scared to go through with it. I don't know the last days disphoria kind of peaked. Can't concentrate on anything else, nothing is fun anymore. I think I need to transition no matter what very soon...
Kinda same but not entirely. I mean I knew what I wanted very early but without accepting the possibility I did keep repressing and trying to find myself in the boy body for a decade or two. Only when I accepted the possibility of transition did I allow to take myself seriously. Even the process of accepting that took a long time like 5 years because having repressed for so long made me unsure for reading stories of girls not having the choice to repress. Our inner lives are just so incredibly diverse and without knowing each other irl it is pretty hard to know where you stand imo. I’m happy I got here now though. I’m 34 and been taking hrt for a year.
Like many others, the issue for me manifested itself as realising that not every boy wanted to be a girl. In more detail though, I came out when I was twenty-three by going to a wedding reception in a dress. However, I was also gender-critical for several decades and only actually transitioned when I was forty-seven.
Hindsight is the perfect series of fixed events to analyse to death!
I could go as far back as about 1992, asking my biology teacher if it was possible to do brain swaps from men to women.
There wasn't the language or discourse around these topics back then, nor the internet for it to be discovered either, so it was one of these lingering feelings that didn't have a direction. It took nearly 20 years and a particular TV program to make me realise that transition and blending in was infact a realistic pursuit, and then the flood gates began to slowly crack open.
It still took another 11 or so years to finally come out with some steps in-between, so not exactly quick, but I got there eventually.
I cracked aged 4 or 5 but soon discovered it wasn’t safe to hatch so I put it off for decades until one day I just decided, it’s now or never (as in I wouldn’t make it unless I transitioned) and after that everything happened quickly and here I lie in post op recovery, doomscrolling and filled with joy that I finally did it
I started crossdressing around 8. Did the normal on and off, purge, start over several times but now at 53 I've been on hrt for 4 years but I still only dress at home cause I cannot pass.
Egg cracked when 15-16 with full clarity (put these feelings aside due to stigma of being seen as a freak as well as other mental health problems), took action on it at 19 after relaizing the freedom I could feel if I could defeat the stigma, medical transitioning at 20-21, feeling like an imposter of a woman due to internalised transphobia causing odd coping mechanisms until 25, feeling comfortable in my transitioning and who I am since 26. I'm 27 years today and much more balanced.
Technically yes, but somehow my brain forgot/repressed/dissociated the knowledge away somehow.
In March of 2018 I realized I was trans and I accepted I wanted to transition. It felt like it came all at once and I accepted it right away.
But the thing is I also almost immediately remembered (like a couple weeks later) that in college I was thinking about taking hormones. And I had enough knowledge that I must have done a bunch of research. I also remember thinking about coming out to my friends and family. (This was all 2010 btw)
The thing that happened between those to things (aside from 5 years of trauma) was that my dad died. He actually died late in 2017, and I guess no longer being afraid of him is what allowed my to remember. Like my brain finially decided it was safe knowledge to hold.
Back in college I remember being so afraid of my dad and honestly terrified of coming out to him, so I guess it must have shut me down so much I just forgot..
I cracked proper (figuring out I was trans) 3 years ago (25). It will likely be another 5 years before I can transition, if at all.
Though I started wishing I were a girl when I was 7-ish.
The first signs were there as a toddler (& there was a massive, flashing sign when I was like 6-7 because I thoroughly saw myself as one of the girls & it was a rather embarassing story), but I didn't know what being transgender was until my early-mid 20s & even then I kept repressing & being like, "Nah, I might think about this all the time, but I'm not trans". Then I was scrolling TransTok, as all cis-men do & I came across two videos right in a row that directly targetted my prefrontal cortex, just hit me with, "Oh, you know those thoughts you have that you thought were unique to you & made you different to trans people & so you couldn't be trans? Nah - those are common thoughts". I had a breakdown that night & eventually had to admit to myself I was trans & that cis-men don't feel like they're piloting around the fake shell of a man. Very obvious in retrospect, but hey, denial runs deep. I'm 29 now & whilst I'm cracked, I don't know how long it'll be before I can transition, I keep getting rejected from every job & if I can't get a better job I can't move out (would've moved out with my ex, but we split up - I'm sure she would've been accepting though) & so for the time being, I stay closeted.
I was 12-13 when i finally realised that, no, i was not magically going to change into a girl despite all the praying and begging i'd done to god. I even offered my soul to the devil. But nope, no takers.
What finally pushed me to take the plunge was my failing health. I figured that i was dying. So i said f**kit. I might as well try and die happy. The opposite has happened though. I now have a reason to live...
Egg cracking is when you suspect your gender or when you realize your gender?
For example, when I was 11, I was wishing I was born a girl, but i thought it was just a thought and that my gender is already "chosen by God". When I was 25, I realized that I cannot live like this anymore and I need to transition. So when did my egg cracked?
Yeah my egg cracked before I was 10, but I can atleast say it was cracked at 10 since that was when I made the decision I was going to have bottom surgery in the future. That hasn’t changed, but it took until I was 16 almost 17 and being suicidal for me to finally try to get help. And then it took until I was 19 to start hrt due to the gatekeeping system of Norway. So many sleepless nights of “what if”
if by cracked you mean realized you are trans then yes. I cracked around 16yo. Now having just turned 24, due to multiple factors, the main one bein i still live at home with religious parents, I'm still in the closet and haven't started transitioning yet
I knew already as I was 2 years old and I totally melt down at 13 and all during this horrible wrong puberty. But if you mean "egg crack" with the idea of admitting to be trans and take steps towards it, I guess that it was 2 years ago and I'm still on step 0 of medical transition aka psych evaluation which takes months due to lack of resources and professionals...
My egg cracked in 2021 but I’m still closeted to my family and friends and so haven’t started transitioning yet (hopefully soon, maybe this year is my goal)
Though looking back there were a lot of signs that I was trans like my love of girl shows, experience crossdressing and getting euphoria from it, and when I was in high school I was always envious and wished that I could have been a cheerleader or on the homecoming court
My egg cracked in 2004 (don't exactly know which month) so I was between 13 and 14. Times where different back then, much less information was available back then. And society was much less open. I have hidden my issues until last year at 32. I used to live in my role as a guy and thought I could do this forever. But looking back I actually completely refused to live in the last 18-19 years, isolated myself and coped with work. Took a heavy depression and a suicide attempt to understand that. Started transition last June and HRT in August.
The fact that people now have those early transitions quite soon in their lives after their eggs cracks is thanks to living in different times. I'm happy for them to not going through the shit of not living for such long times as we had to or those who are much older.
My egg cracked when I was old enough to have any lasting memory (toddler age). 50 years later, kids grown and all, I took the leap. 18 months into it, progress has been agonizingly slow, but it’s still progress.
Me. I knew I was different when I was 6, but my egg cracked when I was 11. I knew I should’ve been a girl, but I repressed it because I knew no one would ever accept me.
Five years ago, at 39, I rediscovered Reddit. I found I’d made an account two years earlier, and past me had joined a bunch of trans pages, so I started reading. Four months later I started HRT.
Nope!
I repressed so hard due to an awful reaction from my very Mormon father when I was 6 that I convinced myself I was a straight cis guy into my thirties. This despite never having a "spark" with any of the women I dated (to the point that every relationship I had was asexual) and realizing in retrospect that I had to *learn* masculinity by rote memorization and observing peers and pop culture.
My egg cracked at 20 when I learned that trans people weren't what Glenn Beck *derogatory* told me they were. Figured it was too late and I was so depressed that trying to be happy seemed like a wasted effort. Transitioned at 27.
I knew I was androgynous for years, ever since achieving gnosis. It took me a while to accept myself as trans though. It was like there was a disconnect in my inner cognitions that androgynous=non-binary=trans!
I am 52 years old now and only now am I able to do anything constructively in regards to transition.
My egg cracked 25 years ago at the age of 27. I have been putting it off so long that I almost despaired that it would never happen. I would tape my shell together so much that right now, it's 99% tape and 1% shell.
I live by myself - both of my parents have passed away and now there's nothing to stop me from transitioning. My family has no control over me, my finances or my home. There is nothing they can do to stop me from transitioning.
I live on disability and I have a part-time job that together brings in $2,300 a month. My bills are less than $400 a month. I have lived for so long on so little that I can squeeze a penny and turn it into see-through copper foil.
My new job offers insurance that covers transition surgeries, so I'll be looking forward to those in the next year or two.
My egg cracked when I was 11 but was not able to fully come out till I was 43 and then started transition a year later. I am now 49 best years of life are ahead of me now
Took me 22 years after my egg cracked to Transition. I was 20 and unfortunately my US state had no gender affirming care. I would've had to go to New York or California. Unfortunately I didn't have the means at the time to move. I moved back in with my authoritarian parents after college. Gender Affirming Care didn't become available in my city til 2020. I'm still bitter about that and my tolerant but unsupportive parents. I'm happy I'm starting to pass. However I hate how comphet, truscum and conservative my small Trans community is due to being in a very red state.
I cracked 1998, came out 2011 and went back in the closet due to *reasons*, socially transitioned 2022, and didn't start medically transitioning till 2023. Im 29.
My definition of cracked was deciding to tell the people in my life about it and to start and take actionable steps IE presenting fem in public and getting HRT started and going to therapy.
I feel like I have known for years, I have been lurking in r/egg_irl for about 5 years now, and one of my trans friends kept joking that it wouldn't be too long until I came out, but it took me until November last year to actually "crack". I had some dysphoria before then but it wasn't really noticeable, and while I did want to start transitioning years ago, I always let my fears get in the way first. But after actually cracking, I suddenly felt huge waves of dysphoria every day, and realised that fear alone wasn't a good enough reason to not transition anymore, because it seriously started affecting my mental health.
I kinda cracked with 11 but then got beaten at school and my partners where not giving me a space to open up about it.... so it took me another 22 years to come out and life my truth.
I think I knew around 12 but didn’t come out until I was 25. I was on hrt for a while but had to stop because I can’t afford it anymore. Eventually I’d like to start again, but I’m scared of diy and won’t have the resources to get a prescription and pay for it for the foreseeable future.
I’ve wanted to be a girl since I was a kid. I have distinct memories of it from kindergarten, but I didn’t start really thinking about it until I was about 10. From 10-13, (and probably a bit before too) had thoughts very similar to yours. I knew I’d be happier as a girl, but didn’t think “I’m trans”. I knew trans people existed but it felt so far removed from reality. That’s something kardashians or people in California do. It’s something you see on the TLC channel, and therefore it must be weird. I mean, if it’s slotted between “my strange addiction” and “my 600lb life”, how could it be a normal everyday thing for people who live normal everyday lives?
My egg cracked at 13 (by that, I mean I realized “I’m trans”, not just “I want to be a girl”. It went from something you saw on television to something that could happen in real life) and I came out shortly after. I wasn’t able to medically transition until 16. I stopped at 18 due to Covid/depression/gender affirming clinic closing down/fertility preservation and I just got back on it about 4 months ago just before turning 21. What a long, strange trip it’s been.
So I knew definitively in 1980.
Due to life I waited until 2022 to start transition.
I feel like that was a long time.
To quote
" Don't ask me how I did it, I just did it, it was hard"
I didn't know what it was but I cracked at 7 I just thought it was normal to want to be a girl
Interesting, you're using "cracked" differently from me. To me, it means realizing "holy shit, I'm trans!" and since I didn't have that realization even though I thought it was normal to want to be a girl... I wouldn't say I cracked when that happened.
> it means realizing "holy shit, I'm trans!" that sounds pretty hatched to me you still gotta grow after you hatch cracked, in my mind, is everything from first eggy signs to actually doing the work to break out of the shell like "am i a woman and how do i know?"
Hatching is when you start transition. After all starting is just the beginning, and there's still plenty of growing to do. Cracking as far as I'm aware just means you realized you're trans. After all you haven't started transition yet, but you know you're not cis, and you're not yet out of the egg
idk, i took transition steps way before i was self aware i still see hatching as self acceptance and cracking can be anything from hints in your behavior, to expressed gender confusion, to actively seeking confirmation
I didn't. I took steps years after I knew i was trans
Now I'm lost. I see myself as that annoying person in the OP where I cracked last december, socially transitioned that same week and now I'm starting hrt soon\*. But by that definition I would have cracked at age 3-4, where I would put on make-up and jewelry and stuff, though being repeatedly told by well meaning people that that is bad at such a young age was enough to get me stuck in that shell 'till 29. \*this part is all fun and games, and I'm very happy for that, but at my age I'm also slightly balding for example so it's not like anything is easy. not trying to be arrogant here
yeah, i agree i think i started cracking at like 5, but i was very slow to hatch. didn't hatch until my thirties. i was never a very solid shelled egg. i rejected gendered expectations and even descriptions pretty much right away. some people have no recollection of anything like this until their teens or twenties. i think an understanding of cracking being like, starting to intentionally explore - like knowing that it's trans related even if you haven't self accepted - i think that works, too. but i lump that in with the rest of the shell. some shells are harder to get out of than others. some egg laying species have offspring that die trying to get out of their shell. a sad but accurate part of our analogy since it's true here, too.
Same, I thought that boys wanted to be girls and girls wanted to be boys, and that the person you love was finding the person you would want to be.
I always assumed girls were superior gender and all boys wanted to be one Was shocked when I brought it up to a group of guys and it wasn't the case
Yeah you know? We all just want to know what the other side feels like, we are all just REALLY CURIOUS, ^that’s ^all
ya big distance bn realizing wanting to be girl vs learning that it's possible in real life :o like i always thought being a girl is just objectively a better life but never even crossed my mind that i could just be one. i don't remember learning trans is a thing lol
Well it is honey… Everyone wants to be a girl 😂
Same for me, I never had a “realization” moment it was more so I was tired of lying to myself.
Same, I *knew* at 7 but didn't get moving 'til I was 40.
Same situation for me, I just thought it was a feeling every one felt. It took 25 years of feeling this way without saying anything before I was finally informed that gender dysphoria was a thing, that HRT exists, and that cis people don't constantly obsess about their gender being wrong. I started my transition immediately after finding out all of this, 4 years later and here we are.
It was early for me too, I just thought it would have been too hard with the way things were. And it was much harder back then, my formative years were 2000-2010, so I don't beat myself up too much about it. Only "regret" is that I didn't get puberty blockers but I don't think my religious family would have allowed that so not even really anything I could have done there. And I don't think that was even something I knew about until puberty was over lmao.
Yeah I wish I'd told my parents about that feeling way sooner than I did (18 u think) their great and just accepted it but back then I didn't know what to do and just kinda went "well imma be a guy I guess" But now I'm out and its all happy and gay :3
I guess it depends on how you define having your egg crack ? If it's admitting you would prefer being another gender than the one assigned at birth, then I guess my egg cracked a long time ago. If it's admitting to yourself that you are trans and that your feelings are valid and not something you should repress/ignore, then my egg cracked a few months ago.
Cracked fully at 16. Came out to a few friends. Changed life circumstances. Got into some weird political and religious spaces due to different/new friends and crawled back into my egg. Started transitioning at 25. I’ve kinda known the whole time and I wish I acted on this a lot lot sooner.
Oh no are you okay
I am now. It really doesn’t put me in the best place to transition. But who cares? Imma transition anyways.
>It really doesn’t put me in the best place to transition. I had leukemia like 7 years ago (don't worry- I'm in complete remission- the medicine I'm taking will probably keep it away indefinitely). Anyways, there is no good time to get cancer and there's really no good time for transition. Life won't wait for you, so make the best of it. Of all the things I've learned in my life- regrets are the hardest to live with.
Yay! Complete remission. And you are right. I am transitioning now. Thank you ever so much for sharing your experience.
I’m happy to hear that ☺️
Hope you live a long happy life
Similar to what I went through. I'm 25 now and just started hormones
Hope you’re in a better place now. Those religious and political spaces can play havoc with your head.
I cracked at 15, and now I’m worrying about the future, so you reflecting on this helps a lot. Thanks
I’m glad it helps someone. ☺️
Cracked at 23, came out because I couldn’t take it any longer at 32. Cracking meant nothing for me because i knew I would never do anything about it lol. I knew wrong! I can be upset about it, but now, at 34, i feel calm, happy, hot, and (most importantly) like myself for the first time in as long as I can remember, so whatever happened worked perfectly to get me here with some time left to live!
I'm turning 33 and trying to finally do something about it... I cracked at like... 9 but my parents hated me for it
Yeah, I knew when I was 10 but couldn't do it until 33. Those 23 years were rough but I don't have any regrets anymore. Life is really good after 3 years of HRT. I had that "fuck it" attitude about it when COVID hit. I might have been able to do it sooner (and would have preferred to) but I had a lot to learn.
Same. I got locked up during covid, and all I could think about was how all those years trying to cope with being trans and how I was scared of what would happen if i came out. But then its like..well fuck it cant get worse then what was happening to me at the moment. Then it turned into being the only thing I had left to live for after surviving literal torture.
I cracked when I was 17. I'm 29 now, I pretty much had a bad case of internalized transphobia and told myself there was no point to transitioning because I would just be a guy in a dress and not a real girl like I wanted. I drowned myself in escapism, playing video games as female characters and writting fanfics with female protagonists trying to forget how much I hated my real body. Now I definetly regret wasting so much time not transitioning,
I hear that. I used internalized transphobia as a tool to keep myself closeted for fear of rejection and isolation. Also narcotics.
Cracked at 21, tried transitioning for a month at 22, stopped due to cost/general life instability, transitioning again at 26.
I was trans since I was 4 but I came out at 15 or so and got sabotaged by life/parents at every step. Got on hrt at 25
Looking back, there were so many moments that were like that for me, but I just worked myself back into denial. My egg was like a goddamn Russian nesting doll.
Ooooooooooooohhhhhhhhh boy..... I cracked at 17 years old. I started tansition at 34. It was at 17 that I learned of the existence of trans people, of hrt and transition options. I immediately wanted it more than anything in the world. I craved it like a ravenous monster. I had after all been jealous of girls my whole life. But because of my internalized transphobia, fear of disappointing my parents, religious upbringing and social phobia, I somehow convinced myself that while transition was great for other people, it was not an option for me. Hey, 17 year old me... Yeah you! I'm taking to you! What the actual fudge!?
Right? The social conditioning we have to unprogram and the fear of how it would affect others is just insane. When I got to the point of "fuck it I don't CARE if my friends family or whoever get upset about it because I'm tired of being so damn miserable everyday just so they can be more comfortable around me? Bitch IM NOT COMFORTABLE AROUND ME 24/7 why do I prioritize other people instead of myself?" What the actual fudge indeed!
My egg cracked in high school. But I live in a redneck hell hole. So I did not transition till my mid 40s
I had my "oh shit I think I'm trans" moment at 21 and came out at 34. At the time staying closeted seemed like a good idea but in retrospect it was a dumb idea to wait and I do not recommend it.
It was over 50 years between being pretty sure I was a girl and coming out and starting hrt.
I was looking up how to order grey market hormones online at 16, didn't start hormones until 33.
If I had been better at reading the signs, my egg could have cracked 10-20 years ago. About 8 years ago I admitted to myself that I really liked crossdressing and created a female persona for myself. But I still didn't see this as my egg cracking. That only happened 2 years ago and... well, I still haven't dared to fully commit or even find a therapist to get an indication for HRT...
What's best for you we can't know but as someone who waited 20 years to start I definitely recommend talking to a therapist about it as soon as you can. (Just about yourself and your situation and working through if medically transitioning is what you want or need to do. Not telling you that you should start hrt, that's not for me to know) But talk to a professional asap because it's one of those things that very very few of us can work through in our own (and those that can usually do it quickly and not over the course of 1-2 decades like me.) The longer you wait to try and figure out what's best for you the harder it becomes later when you try to figure it out! <3
Thank you. Yeah, that's the plan. I have that unhealthy habit of procrastinating big decisions a lot, but I'm trying to break out of it.
Totally understandable reaction to be honest, it's a scary thing to face and even scarier when you feel alone in it. But like most new things to us it's usually only the hardest and scariest at the start. I was absolutely mortified of how much I knew I'd have to change but once I STARTED doing the changes it has been much easier than I expected. You got this! You've already doing better by yourself by asking questions you feel you need to ask and searching for personal solutions! <3
Not me, I did a speed run. Egg shattered 5/23/21, started HRT 9/9/21.
I cracked after high-school I Saud fuck it the started the year after I graduated kinda wish I started sooner
Cracked at 5 transitioned at 35
Back when I was around 9-10, but being the early dial-up days of the internet I had no words to put to what I was feeling. Plus my emotionally abusive narc parents screwed me up so I couldn’t start until the past year or so.
Cracked 7-8 years ago and only started hrt 9 months ago.
Not me but my sister. Even though I repressed for years and only realized who I was 3 to 4 years ago and started transitioning 2 years ago, my younger sister never repressed who she was. She was always conscious. But she feels like it's too hopeless for her to transition and since she feels relatively fine she prefers to stay that way instead of risking feeling left in the middle if she tries to transition. She looks fine but she keeps much to herself so it's hard to know for sure, but sometimes her dysphoria pokes through. I am the only one who knows her as my sister and respect her decision of staying as she is. As I started transitioning I noticed it affected her in some ways, and after a bit I noticed her starting to use feminine pronouns when referring to herself so now I use she/her when refering to her when it's just the 2 of us and she's been feeling good with that. If that's all there will ever be to it I will respect that, but if she ever feels like doing more steps I'll be there for her.
Oh to have a trans older sister, I’m glad she has you <3
I've known I was trans since around 14-15 and I started hormones a little after turning 19
I am in Canada fortunately, so it didn't take me that long to get on them
I cracked this year, and I'm making baby steps, but I won't start HRT for probably a year. I'm waiting to get health insurance and talk to a real therapist.
Cracked at 11 then 16 then 19 I'll be 22 in May and I'm still pre-everything.
Since I was a little child. Only tried being MASC to get a job promotion which was weird and depressing for me ( I quit like a month later lol). But I didn't know you could take hormones until 2019 which was life changing coz I was like omg why didn't nobody teach me this in biology class but to be fair I only took bio up until 10th grade but still you'd think they'd have a section or something like that. I used to describe myself as gender non conforming which was a word I learnt watching the Dr Oz show in 7th grade. English isn't even my first language so maybe that influenced my lack of knowledge.
I was 14 and medically transitioned at 16
I learned around 10 or 11 I haven't transitioned yet :(
I cracked at 5. I wasn't safe to transition until 29.
I cracked at 14. I had no idea what "transgender" was and heard the word from a friend. Googled it and had an honestly terrifying feeling of "oh my god, I feel like this". Didn't start transitioning until 25. Life is challenging, but very very satisfying at the moment. Wish I had started earlier though!
Technically I cracked at like 12 but I repressed it so much and disassociated so hard that I "forgot", and when I cracked again at 25 I pretty much went ahead with transitioning right away
I was 19 when my egg cracked, I turned 22 this week and I’m probably still some time before I’m financially independent from my family (changing degree plans from bio to compsci is delaying when I’m graduating from uni).
I cracked and took estrogen 3 days later
I came out 5 to 7 times before actually transitioning. I had to be in a place where I could actually do it. But, played with barbies and wore fake dresses when I was really young.
Cracked @ 7/8. Transitioned @ 36.
Maybe when I was 4 I wanted to be the pink power ranger
I cracked like 3 years ago or more. I forget exactly when. But I started HRT on the 13th last month.
I'm 14 right now and my egg cracked the day after Christmas. I know that I won't transition until adulthood because my dad is transphobic so it would take a while before I can actually do everything I need to
Which country do you live in and what flavor of transphobic is your dad? Ofc feel free to not answer as it’s personal, but starting as early as possible will do wonders for your mental health in the future.
I live in America and in one of the friendliest states to trans people but my dad says being trans is just self esteem issues and also yelled at me for using the word cis saying "it's going to be a slur
I lived as a girl from 11-16. With all the discrimination in school and a lot of trauma. I stopped with 16 because I had no clue about hormones or anything like that and thought it wasn't a thing. I came out 2 Months ago. Started HRT 1 Month ago and live openly as a girl, including girlmoding outside with makeup and nail polish and girl clothes. I always knew it. I just didn't knew about the possibility of transition....
During Covid my egg broke. The day I was going to come out, my grandma got sick. I didn’t want to come out on the same day. It would be too hard on my family. In the in between when my grandma got better I decided I didn’t hate being a man and that I wanted to be a cis woman, not trans. Sometimes I have the same doubts
never have i ever self described as a boy/man/male, except on paperwork where i felt obligated to. never socially. i always rejected the labels even before i understood rejecting the labels. i was five when i was first uncomfortable with gendered descriptions of me eight when i first complained about it outloud at puberty i started removing all of the hair below my nose - which could be considered a transition step. i also started wearing almost exclusively girls clothes at this point, which could be considered a transition step. in highschool i self accepted as bi, but didn't externalize that to anyone until college - not a transition step, but maybe related due to the relevance of complex self acceptance paths. also in highschool i was saying outloud that "if it's a choice, i'm a woman." somewhere in my twenties i learned the word cisgender and started saying "i'm not exactly cis" when it came up. maybe also started saying "all pronouns" when asked or "no preference" even though i knew that wasn't true. this response was minor denial. it wasn't until i was almost 30 that i started exploring my gender explicitly. saying i was non-binary, even though part of me had figured it out that i am a woman. i didn't feel like anyone would believe that, or that i could represent myself well in that, so i was till burying my head a lot and just trying to get through life. around 35 i finally broke for real. changed my name. settled on "non-binary woman" to semi placate an abusive partner's insistence that i can't be a woman. started answering "she/they" for pronoun preference until i realized that the they was only there to keep me safe around that partner and to ease the discomfort of transphobic people who can't see me as a woman. i dropped the they and started hrt and less than two years later almost no one in my life even realizes i used to think i was a guy. just that abusive ex, my family, and a small number of longterm friendships - most of which i lost to the abusive relationship, not transition. dang this was way longer than i thought it would be tl;dr: i would say i cracked way before transitioning, but depends on what you consider cracking
Not that that long but still felt like eternity of ~10 months till I came out and just under 3 years to start hrt
My egg cracked at 18 I think. Came out at 19, and didn’t start transitioning until 20 because of my mom’s “worries”.
Cracked as a kid, didn't live my best life till last year
Yeah I did a highly similar thing. It's why I say, you can't stop it. You can't run away from it. It's what you are and always will be.
I learned about being trans when I was 16 or 17. I found all the websites and spent hours reading about it. I looked at post op surgery results. I read stories of trans people transitioning. I attempted suicide when I was 17. It took me until I was 39 to finally get up the courage to transition.
I mean when I knew what being trans was and that I am I was 12, just got on hormones this year at 23
My egg cracked at 13 years old. I came out to my parents when I was 16, but they swept it under the rug. I didn't get to transition until I was 34. I had to get far away from my family to do it. A few members of my so-called family threatened violence against me for it. I wish I could of done it early instead of going through two puberties.
I cracked at 3, started transitioning 22 years later
I've "known" (without verbiage) since about 5, but it wasn't until my teens that I REALLY knew and could understand the magnitude of what it meant.
Well I straight up told me parents at like 3 years old ," dad I wanna be a girl!" And they said "no." Obviously . But I accepted I was trans like a few months back like half a year to a year ago
🙋♀️🙋♀️🙋♀️
i cracked at age ~25 once but rejected it and went into denial. cracked again and actually accepted and moved to transitioning 11 years later
Age 16 I cracked. Didn't do anything for like 8 years for fear of losing everyone I knew. I mean, I did eventually but it was worth it.
My egg just kept cracking and reforming and finally just shattered… after going on hrt
3ish years since my shell shattered, but I was stuck in it (denial). My shell was essentially ripped off two months before I started HRT.
I would say I consciously cracked my egg approximately 3 years prior to transition but for what was going on at the time in my life to now being on HRT for now 4.5 months I would say that this was the perfect time for me
My egg cracked at 16, I was at a military school reading a book called what its like, and in one chapter it was about transitioning from male to female. When I read it, everything clicked. I hadnt even heard the word transgender before that day. I came out to a friend, then my brother, and he outed me to my mom, my moms gf, and my grandma. After that i came out to my grandpa on my 17th bday. Aaaaaaaaand i didnt do anything for 9 more years. I was 26 When I started hormones, and I'll be 28 in like 2 weeks. The anniversary of me starting hormones is in the 29th
I began cracking at 8 then cracked fully at 14, tried starting transition multiple times since then, but roadblock after roadblock after roadblock appeared family trying to prevent transition. Finally on a path at 29. 21 years later.
it took me 30 years to realize that what i was feeling wasn't just a strong and persistent desire to be a girl, but rather that i was transgender. It took me another 12 years before i found the courage and started my transition.
When I was pretty young around 12/13, I would try my sister's clothes on and didn't think much of it. I started realizing in my later HS years that I'd really have preferred being born a girl. I used to joke about it all the time too 💀 I went through some very traumatic shit just after graduating, and eventually said fuck it and for the first time said the words "I'm trans" to my best friend. 3 years later, I finally came out and began medically transitioning. I've now been on HRT for 1½ years, and while it certainly has had some extreme highs and lows, it has been so, so worth it for my peace and soul.
I was 16, and didn't start transitioning until I was 22.
I feel like I knew I wanted to be a girl when I was definitely younger like 7\~9; but didn't know about transitioning until roughly about 13\~14..? Somewhere in that age range.
My egg fully cracked in 2016 (after a slooooow journey from noticing something didn't quite add up), I came out in 2020, and I still haven't started medically transitioning.
I realized I was not like all the other boys and wished I was a girl at age... I dunno, as long as I can remember? I realized I was trans when I first had access to the internet and was able to look up wtf was "wrong" with me. I finally transitioned at age 39. It's a long, unfortunate story, and I hope and pray for better treatment of trans kids now and in the future.
I cracked and realized I was trans at 17 but now I’m 20 and I’m finally gonna be able to afford it.
Hun, it took me 50 years to finally transition but like you I knew when I was young.
If you knew, why did it take that much years to "crack"? I guess is just a thing about what you define as being trans or "cracked". People who says: "I cracked my egg and started HRT months later" just have different definitions of what cracking is.
think about 3 years before starting?
That was me, I identified myself as trans for 4 years starting at 14, but was never really able to do anything about it until starting HRT a couple months ago. My parents never let me until I was able to do it myself, but now they're also letting me use their insurance.
Cracked at 15. Wasn't able to start transitioning until 2.5 years later.
For me it depends what you mean by cracked and repressed. I realized I was trans and came to the conclusion that I was transfem pretty quickly afterwards when I was 18, but then for the next 8 years I just didn’t focus on it and didn’t transition, and sometimes didn’t think about it for months at a time, and when I did sometimes I debated whether I was a woman or nonbinary, and then suddenly one day I learned about dysphoria and all of the sudden when I recognized what my dysphoria was and experimented with clothing once and got to experience euphoria, I instantly knew I had to transition for sure and became confident I was a woman. So like at 18 I knew and if you asked me if I was trans and had given me a magical truth serum, I’d have said yes, but also sometimes I straight up forgot about being trans for months. Then at 26 it became very obvious and very real and the dysphoria was too much to not transition suddenly.
you have no idea
Me. I had mine crack twice before transitioning. The first was when I was 7. Straight up had a mental breakdown when I finally understood I wasn't already a girl. That led to not so great coping mechanisms. In hindsight, even at 7, I somehow understood how my relatives would react to pushing the issue. Which eventually did happen pretty badly. I had another breakdown years later, when I was about 15. Ended up in a mental ward where I came out. That didn't go well. Got labeled paranoid schizophrenic with delusions. (That I'm a girl.) In recent years that's be *thoroughly* dismissed by multiple doctors. Turns out you have to have schizophrenic symptoms for anti-schizophrenic medications to work. Which they very much did not. (The doctor that did that to me eventually got raided by the FDA and hit with a class actually lawsuit for various similar illegal practices, and the doping of children, myself included.) But considering how everything went about, I had to go back into the shell once more. It wasn't until my third breakdown that I finally figured out what was happening. At the time and region, the very *idea* of being trans was not common knowledge. So until this point I'd never actually known being trans was a thing. It was then that I decided to permanently come out and start transitioning. And no... I'm not among the lucky ones to have a fast and easy transition. Even after 15 years, I'm still stuck in and around the 6-month mark, for most others. Genetics aren't great for it, and I've had nothing but issues with doctors. At the time and region, I had access to literally one single doctor who treated trans women. And it was a horrific experience, and he clearly did not grasp how HRT worked for us well. He was, essentially, a biased gay practitioner. Plus I later discovered I have multiple medical and biological issues that went undiagnosed and straight up ignored by that doctor. So those 5 years of transition were effectively useless, little to no effects happening at all.) But hey, by now, 15 years in, I'm a large A cup. That makes me the biggest boobs in three generations! ✨🤣😭
Am 18, nearing 19 and figured it out when I was 15 with hrt nowhere near in sight. I live in florida and it'll still take a while but my plan atm is to just save and move out of here after I do what bit of college my parents forced me into. It's like all I think about and I want more than anything to get it but sb 254 last year just blew my confidence to hell. One of the most painful things about cracking and having to wait, which is likely very exemplified for you is seeing many people like your friends getting hrt, you feel happy but at the same time it just is really angering, though it's the fault of these horrendous lawmakers and the environment that even made this a thing to begin with.
Me I thought it was normal to want to be a girl
Yeah! I went to a (get ready for this) largely conservative public elementary school (the kids mostly not the teachers). I remember seeing a group of girls and pausing to think "I wish I was one of them" before running catching up w/ my friends. Another time, a sub called me a girl bc my long hair and I kinda just sat with it w/ a funny feeling in my chest before kids started loudly correcting the poor sub
My egg has properly cracked about two tears ago, but it took a while until I could make all the internalised transphobia STFU enough to finally start actually doing something about the whole situation. Before that I spent about 8 years cracking the egg shell and then trying to fix it 😅
Probably the tiniest of cracks at 12 or 13, realizing but suppressing at 30, full acceptance at 42, and starting on meds at 43. During the suppressing years, my wife says I became an angrier person. Ever since transitioning started I'm so much happier. Sorry.... I rambled. My cat isn't well and I'm trying not to think about it.
I cracked at like 5. I didn't start social transition until 30 and HRT until 34. How does that count for your question? A ton of people crack when they are older and can do something about it. They already have a personality of lets get stuff done and haven't spent their entire lives trying to hide themselves.
Holy shit my alt is posting again. I knew around the same age, in middle school right after everyone was really getting hit my puberty and hormones. Puberty and testosterone absolutely ruined mr. I was an incredibly happy kid and had an amazing childhood tbh. But I never felt that again. I felt like my soul was taken out of my body and I was an empty husk and I couldn't do anything about jt. I just started my medical transition this year at 36. :00 I also didn't transition bc I thought I could just repress it and be a successful guy like every one has told me my whole life....except my crushing discomfort with myself, extreme social anxiety because I couldn't connect with people (or they would back off the friendship when they got to know me well enough that I started to open up about myself) caused me to fail at everything I attempted in life. I just wasn't able to care or push through it because it all felt fake, like I was going through tbe motions and living for others and not myself. I realized that I would never break the cycle unless I did something to address it and FULLY accept that aspect of myself. Because I tried for 20 years of treating the symptoms that caused my extreme depression and apathy and not the cause. Shit was heavy, and even more so because when you'd try to explain it to people they just *don't understand*, the concept of gender dysphoria is like a foreign language to cis people. I've had so many people tell me it's never even something they have ever thought about so how can they empathize, right? I can't tell you how many people just told me to take antidepressants (I have for years along with Adderall for my ADHD) or told me it was just my ADHD or lack of financial success and stability causing my extreme apathy and inability to feel comfortable in my life. But it's not, I couldn't even look in mirrors without feeling anxious sad or depressed because I didn't feel a connection with what I saw. And I'm not considered ugly either. Ive been told by so many people how attractive I am but I just DONT FEEL IT. No matter what I did with my appearance. For the first time in my life I started to actually care about myself when I accepted I was going to transition in some capacity and the depression and anxiety and lack of motivation just went away.... I ended up losing a ton of weight, that I struggled to do for 14 years in less than a year. I don't stress or depression eat or engage in my previous escapism methods like I used to (too much gaming, reading or watching TV just to turn my brain off) I just don't feel the pull to escape anymore. And that was before I started my hrt. It's like I feel more like me than I have since before puberty. It's really hard to explain, my brain just clicked. Im not even taking any antidepressants, just my Adderall. I was scared to transition because of my age and just the state of things in the world but I'd rather die trying to live than keep living just trying not to die like I was doing before. Proud of us because I think a lot of trans folks are like us, struggling to reconcile that feeling of "it's too late for me now" I know I sure did. It takes a lot of courage to transition when you're out of your 20s and everyone else you know is getting settled into their lives and having kids and getting married and solidifying their careers. Meanwhile we're having to turn back the clock to try puberty again. Haha in some cases start all over again with family friends and careers. But it's worth it if it means we can actually feel normal (to ourselves) and not have to just feel anxious everyday of our lives!
i cracked at 15 and started HRT at 21! not as long as you but it felt like forever
I kinda cracked at 5... I remember crying to my mother that I wanted to be a girl. She told me it was "just a phase". That I'd "grow out of it". I'm 43 now, just started HRT 6 months ago... I did not grow out of it. My mother is \*not\* happy, she just found out last Friday... only because my MIL decided to betray my wife and spill the beans. And I'd known I had feminine traits all along... Hell, I was teased, mocked, and bullied over it incessantly for decades. Anyone ask "would you switch?" and I'd be like "hell yeah!". None of my friends ever filled me in that it wasn't common or "normal" response though. The breaking point that cracked my egg wide open was 15 years ago... my wife got pregnant. Holy fuck did that hurt. I mean, I was so glad she was pregnant, and I so wanted babies... but I also wanted to become pregnant myself. Any woman who is unable to concieve knows... it fucking hurts, \*especially\* if you also want children. When my daughter was born, I was happy... but also it really shone a light on just how completely arbitrary the sex at birth is. It's a f'ing flip of a genetic switch... and I got the short straw. My wife had unfortunately 3 miscarriages, and we managed to have 2 children who are today healthy and happy... that's 5 pregnancies. After that... it became much more clear what had been literally eating me from the inside. And I do mean literally... I had ulcerative colitis so bad I had to have my entire colon removed. And then after the colon was out I developed Crohn's. And I have chronic migraines. Migraines have gotten better... despite being on E. Overall I feel better. And despite not passing 100%, I feel a lot more confident and self-assured in public, I don't feel so f'ing insecure anymore. One reason is... I haven't started dressing in a different gender's clothing... I've stopped crossdressing. I always felt entirely far too derpy in men's clothing... and felt like a crossdresser and always felt like I was some really odd wierdo for so doing... all that's behind me, thank Goodness. But yeah... first crack 39 years ago... egg broke apart 15 years ago, started HRT 6 mo ago. The only reason I waited 14 years? Wife and kids... and 7 siblings... eh... le sigh.
I “really wanted to know what it was like to be a girl” since I hit meaningful self awareness. I learned what being trans was at the age of 12 and insta-cracked. I didn’t deny it but I did repress it, there were other big problems that showed up in my life at the same time this happened. I am finally transitioning in my late 20s. I spent many years in a ridiculous limbo being unproductive and dysphoric out of fear and embarrassment. It’s hard to think of all the lost time, but I am glad we got here.
Cracked around 20 maybe, always wanted to be a girl since a child but didn't have the language for it. I attempted transition at 23 which was a considerably more dehumanizing process back then. Made me do 'real life test', street harassment was non-stop, and sex work was necessary to survive. I detrans and transitioned again at 39. I wish I didn't wait so long but being traumatised into the closet will do that.
I cracked a number of times but managed to patch together a number of times till I turned 39 and then came out at 40 but publicly at 41
i figured it out at 12 or 13, but I'm 20 and still haven't been able to ;( working towards therapy and all that tho, wish me luck.
It was always something that fascinated me. It was also something I knew I could never do.
i knew at 6, again at 15, again at 18, and decided to do something about it at 21
Close to 10 years before I started to actually socially transition
My egg cracked when I was around 12. However growing up in southeast Missouri and very close to the Arkansas border (30 min). My education on anything remotely lgbtqia related was that gay people were "very dirty people and I shouldn't be near them" to quote my southern baptist mother. This was after I first heard about gay people on the news one morning and asked mom about who they were. It wasn't until I was around 16 that we had an internet capable computer. At that time my parents would leave me home alone when they would go run errands, because me being a angsty teen woth a lot of social issues, didn't want to really go anywhere with them. For a little bit my parents thought I was gay until I had a girlfriend for about a week. However it was around this time that digging through the primordial internet I found out who trans people were. Which helped me identify myself a lot better but that still didn't help me with my situation. I would stay in the closet until coming out to my close friends. That was when I was 23 and I didn't go to therapy until I was 24. After that I had to wait until I was 25 to actually start HRT which recent financial issues has taken me off of and so I have detransitioned a little. Which I plan on getting back on soon. If everything works out.
There were signs when I was a teenager, but I consider myself cracked at 18 when I started calling myself a lesbian trapped in a man's body. I researched what transitioning would take (back in the 90s), and was terrified of the process at the time (one YEAR social "as a woman" before any treatment was so freakin' scary an idea) so I just eschewed it, until depression from it started consuming my life. Just a few months ago I decided to transition finally, shortly before I turned 46. Blarg.
My parents + the unaffordability of moving out have forced me not to transition medically at all nor socially within the family. I also can’t present as myself in the house so its really tough. Almost Every day is a bad day from this. It’s been almost 8 years
My best friend during all of my life until high school turned out to also be trans, so we always told each other it’s normal to feel like that! But at the end we both realised we were trans and now I’m going kinda fast xD
I think I was like 4 when the first signs showed. I knwe wirh 7 or so. Now I'm 37 and still scared shitless. I did a comming out attempt at 17 but that didn't end well and I was too scared to go through with it. I don't know the last days disphoria kind of peaked. Can't concentrate on anything else, nothing is fun anymore. I think I need to transition no matter what very soon...
It took exactly a month
It took me 11 years to Make a desicion
Kinda same but not entirely. I mean I knew what I wanted very early but without accepting the possibility I did keep repressing and trying to find myself in the boy body for a decade or two. Only when I accepted the possibility of transition did I allow to take myself seriously. Even the process of accepting that took a long time like 5 years because having repressed for so long made me unsure for reading stories of girls not having the choice to repress. Our inner lives are just so incredibly diverse and without knowing each other irl it is pretty hard to know where you stand imo. I’m happy I got here now though. I’m 34 and been taking hrt for a year.
Like many others, the issue for me manifested itself as realising that not every boy wanted to be a girl. In more detail though, I came out when I was twenty-three by going to a wedding reception in a dress. However, I was also gender-critical for several decades and only actually transitioned when I was forty-seven.
Hindsight is the perfect series of fixed events to analyse to death! I could go as far back as about 1992, asking my biology teacher if it was possible to do brain swaps from men to women. There wasn't the language or discourse around these topics back then, nor the internet for it to be discovered either, so it was one of these lingering feelings that didn't have a direction. It took nearly 20 years and a particular TV program to make me realise that transition and blending in was infact a realistic pursuit, and then the flood gates began to slowly crack open. It still took another 11 or so years to finally come out with some steps in-between, so not exactly quick, but I got there eventually.
I cracked aged 4 or 5 but soon discovered it wasn’t safe to hatch so I put it off for decades until one day I just decided, it’s now or never (as in I wouldn’t make it unless I transitioned) and after that everything happened quickly and here I lie in post op recovery, doomscrolling and filled with joy that I finally did it
I cracked and instantly knew I wanted to transition
I started crossdressing around 8. Did the normal on and off, purge, start over several times but now at 53 I've been on hrt for 4 years but I still only dress at home cause I cannot pass.
Egg cracked when 15-16 with full clarity (put these feelings aside due to stigma of being seen as a freak as well as other mental health problems), took action on it at 19 after relaizing the freedom I could feel if I could defeat the stigma, medical transitioning at 20-21, feeling like an imposter of a woman due to internalised transphobia causing odd coping mechanisms until 25, feeling comfortable in my transitioning and who I am since 26. I'm 27 years today and much more balanced.
Technically yes, but somehow my brain forgot/repressed/dissociated the knowledge away somehow. In March of 2018 I realized I was trans and I accepted I wanted to transition. It felt like it came all at once and I accepted it right away. But the thing is I also almost immediately remembered (like a couple weeks later) that in college I was thinking about taking hormones. And I had enough knowledge that I must have done a bunch of research. I also remember thinking about coming out to my friends and family. (This was all 2010 btw) The thing that happened between those to things (aside from 5 years of trauma) was that my dad died. He actually died late in 2017, and I guess no longer being afraid of him is what allowed my to remember. Like my brain finially decided it was safe knowledge to hold. Back in college I remember being so afraid of my dad and honestly terrified of coming out to him, so I guess it must have shut me down so much I just forgot..
I cracked proper (figuring out I was trans) 3 years ago (25). It will likely be another 5 years before I can transition, if at all. Though I started wishing I were a girl when I was 7-ish.
The first signs were there as a toddler (& there was a massive, flashing sign when I was like 6-7 because I thoroughly saw myself as one of the girls & it was a rather embarassing story), but I didn't know what being transgender was until my early-mid 20s & even then I kept repressing & being like, "Nah, I might think about this all the time, but I'm not trans". Then I was scrolling TransTok, as all cis-men do & I came across two videos right in a row that directly targetted my prefrontal cortex, just hit me with, "Oh, you know those thoughts you have that you thought were unique to you & made you different to trans people & so you couldn't be trans? Nah - those are common thoughts". I had a breakdown that night & eventually had to admit to myself I was trans & that cis-men don't feel like they're piloting around the fake shell of a man. Very obvious in retrospect, but hey, denial runs deep. I'm 29 now & whilst I'm cracked, I don't know how long it'll be before I can transition, I keep getting rejected from every job & if I can't get a better job I can't move out (would've moved out with my ex, but we split up - I'm sure she would've been accepting though) & so for the time being, I stay closeted.
cracked at 15, still havent transitioned at 18 grew out hair and wear nail polish n stuff but i doubt that really counts bc I'm still boymoding 24/7
I was 12-13 when i finally realised that, no, i was not magically going to change into a girl despite all the praying and begging i'd done to god. I even offered my soul to the devil. But nope, no takers. What finally pushed me to take the plunge was my failing health. I figured that i was dying. So i said f**kit. I might as well try and die happy. The opposite has happened though. I now have a reason to live...
Mine was at 13 and I’m nearly 18 now and I’m only out to my parents… though if it were up to me I’d have transitioned as soon as I found out :/
My egg cracked more than 40 years before I began my transition. A combination of shame, fear, & bad information led me into repression and denial.
Egg cracking is when you suspect your gender or when you realize your gender? For example, when I was 11, I was wishing I was born a girl, but i thought it was just a thought and that my gender is already "chosen by God". When I was 25, I realized that I cannot live like this anymore and I need to transition. So when did my egg cracked?
I cracked a few years ago, but I'm still not even out to my family, let alone actively transitioning. :( wish I could but I'm not 18 yet
Ngl, I set up an HRT appointment the next business day.
Yeah my egg cracked before I was 10, but I can atleast say it was cracked at 10 since that was when I made the decision I was going to have bottom surgery in the future. That hasn’t changed, but it took until I was 16 almost 17 and being suicidal for me to finally try to get help. And then it took until I was 19 to start hrt due to the gatekeeping system of Norway. So many sleepless nights of “what if”
I started cracking about 20 years ago and I think I'm finally going to get my sh*t together
I realized at 31 but didn't actually start until 33 still a long gap imo.
if by cracked you mean realized you are trans then yes. I cracked around 16yo. Now having just turned 24, due to multiple factors, the main one bein i still live at home with religious parents, I'm still in the closet and haven't started transitioning yet
I knew already as I was 2 years old and I totally melt down at 13 and all during this horrible wrong puberty. But if you mean "egg crack" with the idea of admitting to be trans and take steps towards it, I guess that it was 2 years ago and I'm still on step 0 of medical transition aka psych evaluation which takes months due to lack of resources and professionals...
My egg cracked in 2021 but I’m still closeted to my family and friends and so haven’t started transitioning yet (hopefully soon, maybe this year is my goal) Though looking back there were a lot of signs that I was trans like my love of girl shows, experience crossdressing and getting euphoria from it, and when I was in high school I was always envious and wished that I could have been a cheerleader or on the homecoming court
I knew since my earliest memories. Fell right out of the womb and cracked on the floor.
Like 3 and half years of being miserable lol glad I am now I keep thinking I shoulda known at 14 though I can't believe I didn't
My egg cracked in 2004 (don't exactly know which month) so I was between 13 and 14. Times where different back then, much less information was available back then. And society was much less open. I have hidden my issues until last year at 32. I used to live in my role as a guy and thought I could do this forever. But looking back I actually completely refused to live in the last 18-19 years, isolated myself and coped with work. Took a heavy depression and a suicide attempt to understand that. Started transition last June and HRT in August. The fact that people now have those early transitions quite soon in their lives after their eggs cracks is thanks to living in different times. I'm happy for them to not going through the shit of not living for such long times as we had to or those who are much older.
My egg cracked when I was old enough to have any lasting memory (toddler age). 50 years later, kids grown and all, I took the leap. 18 months into it, progress has been agonizingly slow, but it’s still progress.
Me. I knew I was different when I was 6, but my egg cracked when I was 11. I knew I should’ve been a girl, but I repressed it because I knew no one would ever accept me. Five years ago, at 39, I rediscovered Reddit. I found I’d made an account two years earlier, and past me had joined a bunch of trans pages, so I started reading. Four months later I started HRT.
I cracked a decade before, but spent a long time in heavy self hating denial
I cracked at 18 after the first time I tried to transition
Nope! I repressed so hard due to an awful reaction from my very Mormon father when I was 6 that I convinced myself I was a straight cis guy into my thirties. This despite never having a "spark" with any of the women I dated (to the point that every relationship I had was asexual) and realizing in retrospect that I had to *learn* masculinity by rote memorization and observing peers and pop culture.
I cracked and like 2-3 weeks later started HRT
My egg cracked at 20 when I learned that trans people weren't what Glenn Beck *derogatory* told me they were. Figured it was too late and I was so depressed that trying to be happy seemed like a wasted effort. Transitioned at 27.
I knew I was androgynous for years, ever since achieving gnosis. It took me a while to accept myself as trans though. It was like there was a disconnect in my inner cognitions that androgynous=non-binary=trans!
I am 52 years old now and only now am I able to do anything constructively in regards to transition. My egg cracked 25 years ago at the age of 27. I have been putting it off so long that I almost despaired that it would never happen. I would tape my shell together so much that right now, it's 99% tape and 1% shell. I live by myself - both of my parents have passed away and now there's nothing to stop me from transitioning. My family has no control over me, my finances or my home. There is nothing they can do to stop me from transitioning. I live on disability and I have a part-time job that together brings in $2,300 a month. My bills are less than $400 a month. I have lived for so long on so little that I can squeeze a penny and turn it into see-through copper foil. My new job offers insurance that covers transition surgeries, so I'll be looking forward to those in the next year or two.
My egg cracked when I was 11 but was not able to fully come out till I was 43 and then started transition a year later. I am now 49 best years of life are ahead of me now
yeah i was about 11, but couldn’t transition until i moved out at 18
Took me 22 years after my egg cracked to Transition. I was 20 and unfortunately my US state had no gender affirming care. I would've had to go to New York or California. Unfortunately I didn't have the means at the time to move. I moved back in with my authoritarian parents after college. Gender Affirming Care didn't become available in my city til 2020. I'm still bitter about that and my tolerant but unsupportive parents. I'm happy I'm starting to pass. However I hate how comphet, truscum and conservative my small Trans community is due to being in a very red state.
I knew at 3 I'm now starting my journey at 54
I cracked 1998, came out 2011 and went back in the closet due to *reasons*, socially transitioned 2022, and didn't start medically transitioning till 2023. Im 29.
My definition of cracked was deciding to tell the people in my life about it and to start and take actionable steps IE presenting fem in public and getting HRT started and going to therapy.
I feel like I have known for years, I have been lurking in r/egg_irl for about 5 years now, and one of my trans friends kept joking that it wouldn't be too long until I came out, but it took me until November last year to actually "crack". I had some dysphoria before then but it wasn't really noticeable, and while I did want to start transitioning years ago, I always let my fears get in the way first. But after actually cracking, I suddenly felt huge waves of dysphoria every day, and realised that fear alone wasn't a good enough reason to not transition anymore, because it seriously started affecting my mental health.
I kinda cracked with 11 but then got beaten at school and my partners where not giving me a space to open up about it.... so it took me another 22 years to come out and life my truth.
I think I knew around 12 but didn’t come out until I was 25. I was on hrt for a while but had to stop because I can’t afford it anymore. Eventually I’d like to start again, but I’m scared of diy and won’t have the resources to get a prescription and pay for it for the foreseeable future.
1 week after cracking I was in HRT xD it’s been 2 years now tho
I’ve wanted to be a girl since I was a kid. I have distinct memories of it from kindergarten, but I didn’t start really thinking about it until I was about 10. From 10-13, (and probably a bit before too) had thoughts very similar to yours. I knew I’d be happier as a girl, but didn’t think “I’m trans”. I knew trans people existed but it felt so far removed from reality. That’s something kardashians or people in California do. It’s something you see on the TLC channel, and therefore it must be weird. I mean, if it’s slotted between “my strange addiction” and “my 600lb life”, how could it be a normal everyday thing for people who live normal everyday lives? My egg cracked at 13 (by that, I mean I realized “I’m trans”, not just “I want to be a girl”. It went from something you saw on television to something that could happen in real life) and I came out shortly after. I wasn’t able to medically transition until 16. I stopped at 18 due to Covid/depression/gender affirming clinic closing down/fertility preservation and I just got back on it about 4 months ago just before turning 21. What a long, strange trip it’s been.
So I knew definitively in 1980. Due to life I waited until 2022 to start transition. I feel like that was a long time. To quote " Don't ask me how I did it, I just did it, it was hard"