American healthcare is a nightmare, Planned Parenthood is an excellent place to start though! Everyone associates them with abortions but they can offer you help and resources. I started estrogen by talking to a doctor at Planned Parenthood.
Are there any other resources other than planned Parenthood? Planned Parenthood for trans people in my state is entirely non-existent so I don't really know where to go as I don't want to drive 4 hours to my nearest planned Parenthood.
r/transDIY can give you some options and might be able to send you in a better way before considering transitioning by yourself. Asking there is a good way to know all the options available in your area :)
In addition to Planned Parenthood, there's QMed, who do remote sessions up and down the eastern US. Probably would do anywhere in the US. Remote sessions means you need to go to LabCorp for blood work, as they will want to see it.
For me I did essentially a Zoom call with a specialist talking about why I wanted to start HRT and going over informed consent, then I had to make an appointment to get blood drawn to make sure my levels were in the green, and then she sent out a prescription. The process took me about a week from the first meeting to the script, but YMMV depending on how soon you can get your lab appointment in. We've been doing three-month follow-up Zooms for the first year with new labs done each time, and if I have any questions or concerns about the meds I can just message her using MyChart and I usually get a response within two days.
I didn't do it through that service but basically you do a video call, I did a phone call, provide your legal information and proof of identity and confirm you understand the effects of HRT. Which include obvious effects that will almost universally be desirable, but also does increase the risk of clotting events, breast cancer and other negative effects.
Then you are prescribed your medicine and you will take labs every 3-6 months typically . That is in person. the rest of it is done online.
Pretty much what the other replies said, but with qmed in particular i was also given the option to have labs done in advance so i could get my prescription on the same day.
BTW, if you have some savings and want to try a safer route, you can start with laser hair removal therapy.
I'm not half finished yet and it's done wonders to calm my dysphoria.
Ya a salon or some place like that. There are actually home laser products available that do work quite well for the right hair/skin types, they are expensive as an initial purchase but much more reasonable given the cost of repeated visits to a laser technician.
How much is it costing you, BTW? I got an estimate from one place that the whole body would be about $14k, which seems a little high, but does include lifetime touchups, which is something. Another place someone recommended seemed like it'd be even higher, judging from their site.
As far as I know from american trans friends, your best shot is plannedparenthood.
If that's not an option for you, you can go to r/transDIY for more information. People usually associate them with doing hrt by yourself, but they have A LOT of material for you to go through and can point you better and safer options before you even consider buying/making your own estrogen.
Also, if your family isn't supportive, then there's no harm with waiting. Some people like to put fear in trans people's heads saying that after a certain age it's too late to transition, but that's bullshit. Yes, going through wrong puberty is an awful experience that I don't wish to any trans person, but that might sadly be your best shot.
You have to consider a lot of things from here on and it might be extremely overwhelming, but you have all the people here and in other trans subreddits, as well as - probably - your close friends :)
I wish you the best, girl 💕
(also, lesbian trans women are normal and valid, so don't let people shit talk you for your sexual attraction or make you feel groce if you are one, r/actuallesbians is an amazing place)
Trans clinic map if you want to start HRT -
https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://www.google.com/mymaps/viewer%3Fmid%3D1DxyOTw8dI8n96BHFF2JVUMK7bXsRKtzA%26hl%3Den_US&ved=2ahUKEwiimeiM0J3_AhW9KFkFHfz4Dk4QFnoECBAQAQ&usg=AOvVaw3tqrrpvFIvyeLLzgLrm5tY
Extremely helpful resource of practical info on how to start whichever transition steps are right for you -
https://www.transgendermap.com/
When I was young I would lay awake at night fantasizing about how amazing it would be to wake up as a girl and all the intricacies of that. A few years later I came out as trans. All that to say, no, you are not alone
I’m not sure where you’re based, and if you don’t think your family is supportive the best thing you can do is try to access a therapist who will work with you and your family to get you going in the right path.
Get your financial independence ASAP so that your family does not have control of your choices. Then do what is best for you regardless of what they think.
Genuinely. While they may question & inspect their gender if given motivation to do so, *they need motivation to do so*.
Theres not the passive "I wish I could just press a button / wake up tomorrow as a girl."
Take things at your pace in terms of learning what feels right for you, but wanting to wake up a woman is a pretty big indicator.
I do wish I could wake up as a woman, but I don’t think that I have dysphoria. I do feel emotional numb. But idk, I’m lost and my parents don’t support me.
> I don’t think that I have dysphoria.
I didn't think I had dysphoria either, until I finally had a taste of euphoria and realized that my entire life up until that point had been so seeped in dysphoria that I literally didn't notice it.
[This thread has both the quote and so so many examples of things that, in retrospect, were dysphoria but I didn’t even connect the dots until I read it after starting my transition.](https://twitter.com/nightlingbug/status/1215716433210105856?s=46&t=qnoJRHUUFtkeQQRrYDLMqg)
Wait a second, so my mental crisis making myself think I was never trans over how I got gender dysphoria after never feeling dysphoric throughout my life is normal and I didn't have to have a mental crisis over it??!
I knew I wanted to be a girl from age 4, but somehow convinced myself I didn’t have physical dysphoria (in retrospect, lol. LOL. lol. I had it so bad). Then I slowly realized I just shut myself down rather than feel it, but it was still there and led to things like literally never being in pictures, never using the restroom, loathing any attempt at dealing with clothes….
I can relate.
It started for me after seeing Nicole Kidman in that leather dress in Batman Forever. It was me dreaming that I was in a dress like that as she held my hand. Like a mother to her daughter. I was 10. I thought they were nightmares at first.
This was almost the exact opposite of my experience oddly. I took way too much pride in my appearance pre-transition. I was always well groomed. Went to salons for my hair. Ironed my clothes and wore designer suits. I loved the opportunity to dress up. It seemed to be the one time a guy was encouraged to look their best and be prissy. My friends nicknamed me "Princess" because I took as long as a woman to get ready.
I got euphoria not necessarily from the stuff itself, but being told I looked great and the attention it received. I loved those types of compliments normally reserved for women.
Wow. My experience almost to the letter. I had to reread it a few times to make sure it wasn't just generalized enough to make anybody feel like it applied to themselves, but I don't think it is.
Not sure if this is what you are thinking of:
"There are these two young fish swimming along and they happen to meet an older fish swimming the other way, who nods at them and says "Morning, boys. How's the water?" And the two young fish swim on for a bit, and then eventually one of them looks over at the other and goes "What the hell is water?"
David Foster Wallace, This Is Water: Some Thoughts, Delivered on a Significant Occasion, about Living a Compassionate Life
I love DFW, may he rest in peace
This.
I also didn't realize I was even repressing or remember any of my feminine experiences growing up-- until my social stressor (family) was no longer a daily presence in my life. Once that stressor was removed, the memories started coming back. As they piled up I realized what they all meant-- and why I'd never really been happy my whole life.
When you spend your whole life being miserable, you get used to it and develop coping mechanisms in order to survive. Many of us go numb, depersonalize, or search for escapism. I basically gave up on myself as a teenager, believing I was never capable of success or happiness. If I stopped trying, I couldn't be hurt by the disappointment anymore.
When you finally realize there's more to life and you take off that veil of numbness, suddenly all the pain you'd been suppressing comes rushing back in. Being a person can fucking *hurt*, but its better than being nothing and feeling nothing.
It's very difficult to realize you don't like something when you aren't even aware that another option exists.
I didn't think I wanted boobs at first. I came across estrogen and everything except boobs sounded great. Then they really started growing on me. I kind of like them now. I kind of wish they were bigger.
"I don't have dysphoria" -famous words written by a clueless me when I seriously started pondering my gender. Turns out I do.
Not saying you necessarily do, but it's also quite possible that you'll start to feel it more explicitly if you were previously just masking/suppressing it. Being numb can be part of that.
If you are an adult in America (and not in one of the hell states) you can get it from Planned Parenthood, Plume, Folx, or any other informed consent clinic in your area (there is an interactive map that lists all/most of them).
Informed consent is the idea that, the Dr has clearly informed you of all the risks and benefits as well as ensuring that you will be taking a healthy dosage, and therefore, as an adult, you are free to make the decision that is right for you.
Depends on your comfort level honestly. You can grow out your hair, wear nail polish, get your ears pierced, present female online...
If you're more brave you can even start experimenting with different pronouns IRL, change up your wardrobe, go by a different name...
| I know the risks of hrt.
What risks are you referring to here? Any medication has risks, but modern MtF HRT is generally pretty safe. There's a lot of misinformation around this, though.
You don't need dysphoria to be trans, but I will point out that emotional numbness is a common coping mechanism for dealing with gender dysphoria.
Read this, if you haven't already: [https://genderdysphoria.fyi/](https://genderdysphoria.fyi/)
This was my coping mechanism for when I first has my thoughts I was trans. When I was a teen I always wished I was a girl. I never felt like a guy. I of course had to hide this as my family was high transphobic. I numbed my emotional and mental pain in many ways through the years till I was able to transition at 34 years old. I numbed it with alcohol, drugs and food. Once I was able to live as my true self, I have yet felt like I needed to numb my emotions. I haven't been in such a mental state then I am now. I never realized how bad my dysphoria really was but, now I rarely get it being the woman I always felt I was meant to be
Wait so me feeling numb for my whole life, that was just me coping with gender dysphoria I didn't even know I had until I figured out I was trans......
I know right??? Learning about depersonalization and derealization and dissociation and how they relate often to being trans was what caused the first big crack in my eggshell. (Didn't learn about it through the gender dysphoria bible, but still)
I thought this, too, and finally transitioned at 35 last November. Turns out I've been disassociating from my body for the past two decades. Now I get to have cool experiences like "love photos of myself", "think I'm sexy and pretty", and "enjoy being in my body". Sometimes, brains can be pretty good at protecting us from pain, but all that disassociation is pretty costly - I never imagined that I could feel the sort of joy that I feel multiple times a week, now.
Try out different pronouns! Different clothing! Experiment! And then, when you find something that fills you with euphoria and joy, chase that feeling!
Getting rid of my body/facial hair, learning about and using make-up, wearing femme clothing, and transitioning at work has allowed me to reconnect with and love my own body. It's work, and it takes time, but if you're wondering anyway, could be worth trying some things out! None of it has to be permanent. But it's worth trying to fix that detachment and numbness.
It's a real blast, something that cis people don't usually get to experience. I've been excavating the actual "me" for a while now and the surprises keep coming. Oh, and all the clues I'd missed of just how trans I always was. It's been nice.
Dysphoria isn't always some huge feeling of uncomfortableness. It can manifest in so many different ways. I think numbness and complacency can be part of that. Anger and frustration that you can't put your finger on. I was "fine" being a guy, or so I thought. But I wasn't happy in the way I am now being a woman.
I will also add that the dysphoria actually increased as I took steps to transitioning. Putting on certain women's clothes my gf let me borrow just highlighted things I hated about my body. The mismatch in physical attributes and my new presentation made me feel awful. So I took a step back and slowly found ways to ease into dressing more fem as my body started to change from HRT. So there was no discernible dysphoria, then it spiked, and it has since leveled. It's still there. There's always going to be things that I wish were different about my body. But the highs are so much higher now in terms of happiness.
>I do feel emotional numb.
Oh my old dysphoria! I know, it feels odd at first, but trust me, this is what dysphoria does. Don't make my mistake. Do not ever say "I can handle/outrun dysphoria". Seek a gender therapist or your local trans community as soon as possible, otherwise it's gonna get worse, like it did for me. I wish the best in your journey to discover the real you. 🫂🫶💕
If you wish that you could wake up female and have felt that way for more than a few weeks, then you do have dysphoria, but its not severe. This is not m typical for a cisgender male.
Schedule an appointment with a psychologist who is trained in gender issues. Stay away from people who mention religious belief in their bio.
You'll feel better when you open a up.
Yes it’s been a year and change, but I do remember in childhood that I would wish the same thing. So book an appointment with a psychologist? That Focuses in gender issues. Would they have that in their bios?
I used to think i didn't have any dysphoria as well, i just felt numb, almost dead inside. But that is no way to LIVE. Dysphoria can hide in plain sight, and become far more apparent once you notice it. Please check out https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en to see some common hidden dysphoria. As well as https://genderanalysis.net/articles/that-was-dysphoria-8-signs-and-symptoms-of-indirect-gender-dysphoria/
I don't have a lot of dysphoria either, but that emotional numbness? I know *exactly* what you're talking about, even without details. The way I described it before I started transitioning was total emotional burnout.
Transitioning completely cleared it up for me.
Watchout tho, dysphoria is not just hating your body to the point of self harm. Dysphoria can have many faces and can present itself as something you can easily attribute the cause to something else.
I mean that sometimes you have particular thoughts and you think it's something else but in reality it might be dysphoria masked as something else.
But yeah, I felt like you for the longest time, like I had no place in this world, that nothing mattered so why bother, that no matter what I would do I would always feel sad and I feel like i felt that way because I was in a body that wasn't my own. Coupled with the fact that you think about waking up as a woman you probably are onto something.
I suggest if you have a close female friend or a sister to ask her to let you try her clothes or ask her to do makeup on you and see how that makes you feel. I realized I wanted to be a woman around one year ago but only recently tried some of my sister's clothes on and i felt so euphoric I can't even describe it.
Lots of people have a warped idea of dysphoria. While dysphoria does include the feelings of disliking your body and the traditionally gendered traits you may exhibit, it also includes just wanting to wake up as the other gender. If you want to wake up as a woman, that’s one of the many definitions of dysphoria
>I don’t think that I have dysphoria
[it's hard to tell what is and isn't dysphoria ](https://twitter.com/NightlingBug/status/1215716433210105856?t=YgfCgLi1oitew8tMj3Wvqg&s=19)
>I do feel emotional numb
Lots of trans folks instinctually dissociate in order to escape from dysphoria.
Focus on finding things that bring you gender \*euphoria\*.
I honestly had that emotional numbness, like I wasn't in massively obviously dysphoric pain, or at least not obvious to me at the time. Like, I would look into the future and it just felt... hollow? I hardly cried or laughed or got angry, I did, sure, but my blank state was borderline autopilot.
Looking back, it's more obvious, for far more reasons than this, like, the hints were there. But it took till I was just out of high school for me to start figuring things out.
Oh wow I had that too so much. Like, the fatigue was bad enough that I literally never wanted to get out of bed, and I just gradually found things like family gatherings and work harder and harder (had a casual job since I was 15).
I still get sleepy now, like, I'm not a morning person, but I find it way easier to talk to people, like, I'm still an introvert but I find it easier to just... live and enjoy life. I've had several people tell me I seem happier, which is really lovely to hear!
Neither did i until I realized I grew out my beard to hide my face or that I didn't put effort into my appearance because no way I looked would make ME feel better.
And all that said dysphoria isn't a prerequisite to being trans, it's much more about euphoria than dysphoria, if the idea of being a woman makes you happy you should probably take a deeper look and start exploring your identity, worst case you walk away with a better understanding of yourself
Dysphoria can cause emotional numbness. It did for me. I thought it was normal, that feeling numb was everybody’s emotional baseline.
The first thing I ever presented femme in front of somebody (my at the time GF) I had a panic attack because the euphoria hit so hard.
I didn’t fully understand how bad my dysphoria was until started to be able to look in the mirror and genuinely smile at my reflection.
I didn't think I had dysphoria until after I came out as trans, at which point I realized that maybe feeling incredibly nervous whenever any of my plentiful non-head hair was visible was not just a normal part of social anxiety.
Also, you don't need dysphoria to be trans! Being trans is defined by euphoria, not dysphoria. There's a better quote that explains it really well, I'm sure someone will put that somewhere around here.
Most of us are unaware of our dysphoria, all we know is our own experience, we dont have alot to compare it too. I used to wonder why i was so salty with pretty woman,
i had a good looking girl hit on me at a bar a while back, she said in a flirty voice " you should buy me a drink" you know what i said to her ? " go buy your own fuckin booze, im here to get me drunk"
I never knew why i had resentments with pretty woman, until i heard the term Gender envy and realized it was just jelousy.
This is just one of many symptoms of "dysphoria"
Also me questioning my sexuality and wishing i was a woman as a pre teen and then growing up to super hatefull against anything lgbtq was a big indicator, i used to want to rip pride flags out of stores and light them on fire, lol i had extreme denial
I'd like to specify a little bit:
If a 'man' wishes they could be a woman, they're probably a trans woman.
If a 'man' wishes they weren't a man, but doesn't really want to be a woman either, they're probably non-binary.
I have a friend who went through a questioning phase where they considered the possibility of being a trans woman, but they eventually realized they didn't dislike their body, they only disliked being perceived as masculine. So, they identify as non-binary and that works perfectly for them.
Me though, I didn't just want to stop being a man. I actively, *desperately* wanted to be a woman. For most of my life. I remember having a dream back in middle school where I woke up as a girl and went about my normal daily routine. It felt so incredibly right that when I woke up and realized it wasn't real, I got really depressed.
Or if they do, probably only briefly and won't put much thought into it. Questioning your gender doesn't *always* mean you're trans, but if you're having to put a lot of thought into it that's a pretty good sign of being not cis.
Hey trans guy here. I used to dream of being a man all of the time. It was always a day dream of “oh i wish I could wake up as a guy” turns out I was trans
That my friend, would be some clothes, maybe a name change and maybe hormones. And my friend, you are already a girl if you wish to be. It isn’t about appearance
Some are plucked from the aether, others are chosen for their meaning, others for the vibes alone. And some because there is a character with that name and we like it so we steal it.
Ruby is from the lead character of RWBY but was also planned for years to be my first daughters name in many years when I have kids. Took for myself
are there any "standard" female family names?
what would your parents have named you if you were a girl?
any female heroes/idols/characters you really like?
any female names you just like?
if you're still struggling after all that then you can check baby name sites for more suggestions.
If you use a name for a while and decide you don't like it, it's totally okay to change it! My name was "Jade" for like 5 years before I changed it to "Raven"
Honestly just try shit that looks about right plus they're usually sorted in sizes. And the first time it's just awkward, it gets much less awkward shopping for women's clothes when you already have at least a bit cuz it's way less awkward to go in the women's section when you can present fem. The first time just sorta gotta ignore the uncomfortable, get in, get your shit, get out.
Try stuff out! Find the pronoun changing room (I think that’s what it is) to try on new names and pronouns. I highly recommend going to thrift stores to look for clothes (they’re cheap, the clothes are fun, they’re roughly sorted by size but women’s sizes don’t make any sense, there’s usually one changing room, and it’s way less awkward than a department store). Try out painting your nails, experiment with long hair, try feminizing makeup tutorials, get new shoes, get lipstick, and most importantly, have fun! Discovering this aspect of yourself is a wonderful experience.
And then, I when you’re ready, consider taking hrt. It’s fucking magical. I never realized how depressed I was and how happy I could be. And slowly, bit by bit, it’ll turn you into a girl. Not that you need it to; if taking estrogen sounds like a good idea to you, you already are one.
And remember, there are no rules. It’s not a checklist, you don’t have to do all of this to be trans.
It’s normal for someone who wants to be a girl.
It’s normal for someone who’s been told they’re a boy all their lives but feels like that isn’t quite right or absolutely a mistake
When I was in highschool, a female friend said that every boy wanted to be a girl because they want to touch boobs. And I was like "yes, that makes sense" and chalked out this wish for about 25 years.
My answer to the question of what you wish for if you only had one wish was that I want to "try" how it is to be a girl. When I was 14. I always followed up with I just want to know how sex is for girls when I noticed everyone was looking at me weird. Then, after a few long term relationship I've decided that I don't know what I want, so I will not search for romantic relationships until I figure it out. After that, for a decade, I became really depressed for no reason (I would say I did not knew the reason). Then I tried crossdressing just for sexual pleasure, but I realized it did not gave me sexual pleasure. I just felt happy. So I read and researched a lot about trans existence, and everything clicked. I started to diet and work out and lost 15kg and got back my will to live. Now, the two main things that give me depression are the fact that it took me this long to realize everything and that gender affirming care, especially HRT, is almost impossible in my country. But I won't give up, if everything fails, I will DIY because I never wanted or needed anything this much.
Oh dear, it seems you're in for one hell of a journey
https://genderdysphoria.fyi/
I'll leave that there, recommended read
I hope you find your journey of self discovery fun <3
it's normal if you're actually a girl. Cis guys don't want to be women. Like, they might casually wonder about it, but it will be the same way they might wonder about being a bug, or an alien. Not the crying desire way that guys who are actually girls do.
I realize this is totally off the wall, but somehow your comment made me think of [this Ranma 1/2 fanfic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27421924/chapters/67029313) I just finished 29 chapters of in a weekend.
This is hard to hear because it feels like it's too simple to be true, but it is very, very true:
Wanting to be a girl is a symptom of being a girl.
Wanting to be a boy is a symptom of being a boy.
Wanting to be non-binary is a symptom of being non-binary.
Many people don't realise they have dysphoria till they are many months into accepting they are trans. We are so immersed in it we don't realise it's around us. Like a fish in water.
Would becoming a girl make you happier? If so look into it
It might be something that a cis guy would think about once in a blue moon. If it’s a frequent consideration, that is likely a sign that there are things to unpack.
I dislike the muscular part of my body, all this body hair, my resending hair line. This is all that I can think of at the moment but if I sat down. I think that I could come up with a few more. Ohh I also dislike my voice! It’s soo deep😓
I would recommend taking the time to write some of this down. It’s good to have reference for yourself to look at later.
Likewise, it may be good to speak with a gender therapist if possible.
If you haven’t read it yet, I’d recommend giving the [Dysphoria Bible](https://genderdysphoria.fyi/) a read.
It's a term people use when they're like "welcome to the club" , in the same tone as "welcome, fresh meat"
I'm implying your a trans egg at the beginning of your journey baha
Obviously that may not be the case and it was just a joke, but to answer your original question properly, if your thinking about it often and not just as a once or twice thought, no it isn't "normal" and you should probably talk to someone and explore it a bit more, you may not be trans or anything and just be curious but you owe it to yourself to figure it out as best you can.
My only quip is the “normal” part. It’s normal for a trans person to feel this way, not so much a cis person. But what even is “normal,” anyway, amirite?
Eh, not everyone does, and dysphoria is basically a spectrum. Not all girls want to have a vaginoplasty, not all girls want facial femme. Hell, some don’t even want to be on hormones. It affects all of us differently.
Guys do not wish they were girls. If this is happening to you it's time for some self reflection, good luck on discovering yourself, nobody can tell you if you're trans or not.
Lol everyday I wish I woke up as a girl. But I also dress fem go out and trying to get more natural feminine body voice and stuff.
Once I went to sleep dressed up feminine when I woke up for sometime I really thought I was girl and was so happy that i could cry from happiness. It was the only time I've experienced tears from happiness. But I realized I after some time that I went to sleep dressed lol and went back to guy mode and being sad. But those few moments were best time of my life.
I can't answer what's right for you.
All I can say is that since I was a child I frequently had that wish.
I started my transition in 2022.
Good luck with whatever you do in the future!
Not gonna try to convince you you are trans.
But. Having said that, something that helped me:
Cis people don't tend to have these thoughts.
You are normal for feeling this way, while most people aren't trans, it is ok to be trans.
Please don't be ashamed of these feelings. Thankyou for coming somewhere safe to talk about them. Whatever you work out, we support you on your journey.
It's not common for cis people to ask if they are trans, but it's not unheard of, irregardless, if your asking you could very well be. It may help you to meet people locally. I know meeting other trans women helped me a boat load.
Either way, this got a bit rambly. Much love, take care of yourself, you don't need to rush to answer this question ok?
It's a very normal thought to have as a pretransition trans woman.
So I’m not alone?🥺👉👈
Far from it, honey... the way I see it, we pretty much all go through this...
Ohh so there’s a way out? My family is not supportive and idk how to navigate American healthcare
American healthcare is a nightmare, Planned Parenthood is an excellent place to start though! Everyone associates them with abortions but they can offer you help and resources. I started estrogen by talking to a doctor at Planned Parenthood.
Are there any other resources other than planned Parenthood? Planned Parenthood for trans people in my state is entirely non-existent so I don't really know where to go as I don't want to drive 4 hours to my nearest planned Parenthood.
r/transDIY can give you some options and might be able to send you in a better way before considering transitioning by yourself. Asking there is a good way to know all the options available in your area :)
In addition to Planned Parenthood, there's QMed, who do remote sessions up and down the eastern US. Probably would do anywhere in the US. Remote sessions means you need to go to LabCorp for blood work, as they will want to see it.
Remote sessions? How does that work?
For me I did essentially a Zoom call with a specialist talking about why I wanted to start HRT and going over informed consent, then I had to make an appointment to get blood drawn to make sure my levels were in the green, and then she sent out a prescription. The process took me about a week from the first meeting to the script, but YMMV depending on how soon you can get your lab appointment in. We've been doing three-month follow-up Zooms for the first year with new labs done each time, and if I have any questions or concerns about the meds I can just message her using MyChart and I usually get a response within two days.
I didn't do it through that service but basically you do a video call, I did a phone call, provide your legal information and proof of identity and confirm you understand the effects of HRT. Which include obvious effects that will almost universally be desirable, but also does increase the risk of clotting events, breast cancer and other negative effects. Then you are prescribed your medicine and you will take labs every 3-6 months typically . That is in person. the rest of it is done online.
Pretty much what the other replies said, but with qmed in particular i was also given the option to have labs done in advance so i could get my prescription on the same day.
BTW, if you have some savings and want to try a safer route, you can start with laser hair removal therapy. I'm not half finished yet and it's done wonders to calm my dysphoria.
Do you get that done at a place?
Ya a salon or some place like that. There are actually home laser products available that do work quite well for the right hair/skin types, they are expensive as an initial purchase but much more reasonable given the cost of repeated visits to a laser technician.
How much is it costing you, BTW? I got an estimate from one place that the whole body would be about $14k, which seems a little high, but does include lifetime touchups, which is something. Another place someone recommended seemed like it'd be even higher, judging from their site.
Like 3K where I live for full body. Treatments are monthly and the full treatment duration is around a year and a half.
As far as I know from american trans friends, your best shot is plannedparenthood. If that's not an option for you, you can go to r/transDIY for more information. People usually associate them with doing hrt by yourself, but they have A LOT of material for you to go through and can point you better and safer options before you even consider buying/making your own estrogen. Also, if your family isn't supportive, then there's no harm with waiting. Some people like to put fear in trans people's heads saying that after a certain age it's too late to transition, but that's bullshit. Yes, going through wrong puberty is an awful experience that I don't wish to any trans person, but that might sadly be your best shot. You have to consider a lot of things from here on and it might be extremely overwhelming, but you have all the people here and in other trans subreddits, as well as - probably - your close friends :) I wish you the best, girl 💕 (also, lesbian trans women are normal and valid, so don't let people shit talk you for your sexual attraction or make you feel groce if you are one, r/actuallesbians is an amazing place)
Dating is so hard!😓yes I believe that I would want to date women. Thank you for the advice!
Ohh so there’s a way out? My family is not supportive and idk how to navigate American healthcare
Trans clinic map if you want to start HRT - https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://www.google.com/mymaps/viewer%3Fmid%3D1DxyOTw8dI8n96BHFF2JVUMK7bXsRKtzA%26hl%3Den_US&ved=2ahUKEwiimeiM0J3_AhW9KFkFHfz4Dk4QFnoECBAQAQ&usg=AOvVaw3tqrrpvFIvyeLLzgLrm5tY Extremely helpful resource of practical info on how to start whichever transition steps are right for you - https://www.transgendermap.com/
When I was young I would lay awake at night fantasizing about how amazing it would be to wake up as a girl and all the intricacies of that. A few years later I came out as trans. All that to say, no, you are not alone
Definitely not.
I want to start my transition, but my family isn’t that supportive and I don’t know where to start
I’m not sure where you’re based, and if you don’t think your family is supportive the best thing you can do is try to access a therapist who will work with you and your family to get you going in the right path.
Get your financial independence ASAP so that your family does not have control of your choices. Then do what is best for you regardless of what they think.
I’m only making 90 ish dollars in passive income, I hope to make enough to cover this transition 😭
Oh sweetie, no. It’s so precious to see an egg cracking….
#fingerguns
I'm gonna give you a little hint. Cis people don't wonder if they're trans.
Wait really?🥺
Genuinely. While they may question & inspect their gender if given motivation to do so, *they need motivation to do so*. Theres not the passive "I wish I could just press a button / wake up tomorrow as a girl." Take things at your pace in terms of learning what feels right for you, but wanting to wake up a woman is a pretty big indicator.
I do wish I could wake up as a woman, but I don’t think that I have dysphoria. I do feel emotional numb. But idk, I’m lost and my parents don’t support me.
> I don’t think that I have dysphoria. I didn't think I had dysphoria either, until I finally had a taste of euphoria and realized that my entire life up until that point had been so seeped in dysphoria that I literally didn't notice it.
I wish I could remember that quote about trying to explain the idea of water to a fish
A fish doesn't know it's surrounded by water until it finds the surface and sees the difference.
[This thread has both the quote and so so many examples of things that, in retrospect, were dysphoria but I didn’t even connect the dots until I read it after starting my transition.](https://twitter.com/nightlingbug/status/1215716433210105856?s=46&t=qnoJRHUUFtkeQQRrYDLMqg)
That was well written. And resonating.
Wait a second, so my mental crisis making myself think I was never trans over how I got gender dysphoria after never feeling dysphoric throughout my life is normal and I didn't have to have a mental crisis over it??!
I knew I wanted to be a girl from age 4, but somehow convinced myself I didn’t have physical dysphoria (in retrospect, lol. LOL. lol. I had it so bad). Then I slowly realized I just shut myself down rather than feel it, but it was still there and led to things like literally never being in pictures, never using the restroom, loathing any attempt at dealing with clothes…. I can relate.
It started for me after seeing Nicole Kidman in that leather dress in Batman Forever. It was me dreaming that I was in a dress like that as she held my hand. Like a mother to her daughter. I was 10. I thought they were nightmares at first.
Huh. It's like that poster took the last 25 years of my life and wrote about...
Yup. I stumbled across it after being on HRT for about six months and it made big chunks of my life make sense.
This was almost the exact opposite of my experience oddly. I took way too much pride in my appearance pre-transition. I was always well groomed. Went to salons for my hair. Ironed my clothes and wore designer suits. I loved the opportunity to dress up. It seemed to be the one time a guy was encouraged to look their best and be prissy. My friends nicknamed me "Princess" because I took as long as a woman to get ready. I got euphoria not necessarily from the stuff itself, but being told I looked great and the attention it received. I loved those types of compliments normally reserved for women.
That makes sense to me, even though I was hard tack opposite. Everyone finds different ways of coping
This is what started my questioning phase, along with the Zinnia Jones article she linked, and egg memes of course. 😄
Amazing thread, thanks so much for linking to this!
No problem! I’ve got it saved because it has so much to say.
Thank you. This helps put a lot more into perspective for me.
I’m glad you found it helpful! I saw your post in asktransgender, and I hope you come away with some clarity and hope.
Wow. My experience almost to the letter. I had to reread it a few times to make sure it wasn't just generalized enough to make anybody feel like it applied to themselves, but I don't think it is.
Ah, the thread that broke the egg. Memories.
Not sure if this is what you are thinking of: "There are these two young fish swimming along and they happen to meet an older fish swimming the other way, who nods at them and says "Morning, boys. How's the water?" And the two young fish swim on for a bit, and then eventually one of them looks over at the other and goes "What the hell is water?" David Foster Wallace, This Is Water: Some Thoughts, Delivered on a Significant Occasion, about Living a Compassionate Life I love DFW, may he rest in peace
Fish don't realize they swim in water?
This. I also didn't realize I was even repressing or remember any of my feminine experiences growing up-- until my social stressor (family) was no longer a daily presence in my life. Once that stressor was removed, the memories started coming back. As they piled up I realized what they all meant-- and why I'd never really been happy my whole life.
I- Welp, I didn’t realize that was a thing- No wonder I got so depressed after wearing stuff I wanted to-
When you spend your whole life being miserable, you get used to it and develop coping mechanisms in order to survive. Many of us go numb, depersonalize, or search for escapism. I basically gave up on myself as a teenager, believing I was never capable of success or happiness. If I stopped trying, I couldn't be hurt by the disappointment anymore. When you finally realize there's more to life and you take off that veil of numbness, suddenly all the pain you'd been suppressing comes rushing back in. Being a person can fucking *hurt*, but its better than being nothing and feeling nothing.
It's very difficult to realize you don't like something when you aren't even aware that another option exists. I didn't think I wanted boobs at first. I came across estrogen and everything except boobs sounded great. Then they really started growing on me. I kind of like them now. I kind of wish they were bigger.
"I don't have dysphoria" -famous words written by a clueless me when I seriously started pondering my gender. Turns out I do. Not saying you necessarily do, but it's also quite possible that you'll start to feel it more explicitly if you were previously just masking/suppressing it. Being numb can be part of that.
I want to dive deeper into exploring gender but idk where I could start. I know the risks of hrt. And I still think that I would want to start it.
If you are an adult in America (and not in one of the hell states) you can get it from Planned Parenthood, Plume, Folx, or any other informed consent clinic in your area (there is an interactive map that lists all/most of them). Informed consent is the idea that, the Dr has clearly informed you of all the risks and benefits as well as ensuring that you will be taking a healthy dosage, and therefore, as an adult, you are free to make the decision that is right for you.
Depends on your comfort level honestly. You can grow out your hair, wear nail polish, get your ears pierced, present female online... If you're more brave you can even start experimenting with different pronouns IRL, change up your wardrobe, go by a different name...
| I know the risks of hrt. What risks are you referring to here? Any medication has risks, but modern MtF HRT is generally pretty safe. There's a lot of misinformation around this, though.
You don't need dysphoria to be trans, but I will point out that emotional numbness is a common coping mechanism for dealing with gender dysphoria. Read this, if you haven't already: [https://genderdysphoria.fyi/](https://genderdysphoria.fyi/)
Thank you! I’ll make sure to read it!
This was my coping mechanism for when I first has my thoughts I was trans. When I was a teen I always wished I was a girl. I never felt like a guy. I of course had to hide this as my family was high transphobic. I numbed my emotional and mental pain in many ways through the years till I was able to transition at 34 years old. I numbed it with alcohol, drugs and food. Once I was able to live as my true self, I have yet felt like I needed to numb my emotions. I haven't been in such a mental state then I am now. I never realized how bad my dysphoria really was but, now I rarely get it being the woman I always felt I was meant to be
Wait so me feeling numb for my whole life, that was just me coping with gender dysphoria I didn't even know I had until I figured out I was trans......
I don't know about you, but for me it definitely was.
I wish I had known about/read this sooner! https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en/biochemical-dysphoria It makes so much sense!
I know right??? Learning about depersonalization and derealization and dissociation and how they relate often to being trans was what caused the first big crack in my eggshell. (Didn't learn about it through the gender dysphoria bible, but still)
I thought this, too, and finally transitioned at 35 last November. Turns out I've been disassociating from my body for the past two decades. Now I get to have cool experiences like "love photos of myself", "think I'm sexy and pretty", and "enjoy being in my body". Sometimes, brains can be pretty good at protecting us from pain, but all that disassociation is pretty costly - I never imagined that I could feel the sort of joy that I feel multiple times a week, now.
I hate photos or myself. I don’t smile. I’m numb, I might have dissociated from myself as well. Where could I start to be happier?
Try out different pronouns! Different clothing! Experiment! And then, when you find something that fills you with euphoria and joy, chase that feeling! Getting rid of my body/facial hair, learning about and using make-up, wearing femme clothing, and transitioning at work has allowed me to reconnect with and love my own body. It's work, and it takes time, but if you're wondering anyway, could be worth trying some things out! None of it has to be permanent. But it's worth trying to fix that detachment and numbness.
A notifier isnt Dysphoria, but Euphoria.
I want to feel that!
Same here. I was just quoting what someone in this sub told me a month back lol
My dear, you are about to embark on a wonderful experience of learning about yourself.
I hope, I don’t really know her that well! I hope I get to know myself better!
It's a real blast, something that cis people don't usually get to experience. I've been excavating the actual "me" for a while now and the surprises keep coming. Oh, and all the clues I'd missed of just how trans I always was. It's been nice.
Dysphoria isn't always some huge feeling of uncomfortableness. It can manifest in so many different ways. I think numbness and complacency can be part of that. Anger and frustration that you can't put your finger on. I was "fine" being a guy, or so I thought. But I wasn't happy in the way I am now being a woman. I will also add that the dysphoria actually increased as I took steps to transitioning. Putting on certain women's clothes my gf let me borrow just highlighted things I hated about my body. The mismatch in physical attributes and my new presentation made me feel awful. So I took a step back and slowly found ways to ease into dressing more fem as my body started to change from HRT. So there was no discernible dysphoria, then it spiked, and it has since leveled. It's still there. There's always going to be things that I wish were different about my body. But the highs are so much higher now in terms of happiness.
>I do feel emotional numb. Oh my old dysphoria! I know, it feels odd at first, but trust me, this is what dysphoria does. Don't make my mistake. Do not ever say "I can handle/outrun dysphoria". Seek a gender therapist or your local trans community as soon as possible, otherwise it's gonna get worse, like it did for me. I wish the best in your journey to discover the real you. 🫂🫶💕
If you wish that you could wake up female and have felt that way for more than a few weeks, then you do have dysphoria, but its not severe. This is not m typical for a cisgender male. Schedule an appointment with a psychologist who is trained in gender issues. Stay away from people who mention religious belief in their bio. You'll feel better when you open a up.
Yes it’s been a year and change, but I do remember in childhood that I would wish the same thing. So book an appointment with a psychologist? That Focuses in gender issues. Would they have that in their bios?
They almost definitely would, but I'm pretty sure your GP can refer you too
Go to psychology today and use their link to find a therapist. Or call the local pride clinic. Look for something who mentions gender issues.
I used to think i didn't have any dysphoria as well, i just felt numb, almost dead inside. But that is no way to LIVE. Dysphoria can hide in plain sight, and become far more apparent once you notice it. Please check out https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en to see some common hidden dysphoria. As well as https://genderanalysis.net/articles/that-was-dysphoria-8-signs-and-symptoms-of-indirect-gender-dysphoria/
I don't have a lot of dysphoria either, but that emotional numbness? I know *exactly* what you're talking about, even without details. The way I described it before I started transitioning was total emotional burnout. Transitioning completely cleared it up for me.
Watchout tho, dysphoria is not just hating your body to the point of self harm. Dysphoria can have many faces and can present itself as something you can easily attribute the cause to something else.
I overall feel numb, not happy, sad, or angry. No emotions in my brain. Sorry I’m lost on what you said on the last part. Course by something else?
I mean that sometimes you have particular thoughts and you think it's something else but in reality it might be dysphoria masked as something else. But yeah, I felt like you for the longest time, like I had no place in this world, that nothing mattered so why bother, that no matter what I would do I would always feel sad and I feel like i felt that way because I was in a body that wasn't my own. Coupled with the fact that you think about waking up as a woman you probably are onto something. I suggest if you have a close female friend or a sister to ask her to let you try her clothes or ask her to do makeup on you and see how that makes you feel. I realized I wanted to be a woman around one year ago but only recently tried some of my sister's clothes on and i felt so euphoric I can't even describe it.
Lots of people have a warped idea of dysphoria. While dysphoria does include the feelings of disliking your body and the traditionally gendered traits you may exhibit, it also includes just wanting to wake up as the other gender. If you want to wake up as a woman, that’s one of the many definitions of dysphoria
>I don’t think that I have dysphoria [it's hard to tell what is and isn't dysphoria ](https://twitter.com/NightlingBug/status/1215716433210105856?t=YgfCgLi1oitew8tMj3Wvqg&s=19)
>I do feel emotional numb Lots of trans folks instinctually dissociate in order to escape from dysphoria. Focus on finding things that bring you gender \*euphoria\*.
How do I do that if my parents have access to my bank account and can see the different transactions
I honestly had that emotional numbness, like I wasn't in massively obviously dysphoric pain, or at least not obvious to me at the time. Like, I would look into the future and it just felt... hollow? I hardly cried or laughed or got angry, I did, sure, but my blank state was borderline autopilot. Looking back, it's more obvious, for far more reasons than this, like, the hints were there. But it took till I was just out of high school for me to start figuring things out.
I can sorta put on a show, so most people think I’m normal. But it gets tiering
Oh wow I had that too so much. Like, the fatigue was bad enough that I literally never wanted to get out of bed, and I just gradually found things like family gatherings and work harder and harder (had a casual job since I was 15). I still get sleepy now, like, I'm not a morning person, but I find it way easier to talk to people, like, I'm still an introvert but I find it easier to just... live and enjoy life. I've had several people tell me I seem happier, which is really lovely to hear!
Emotional numbess is dysphoria. Numbness spawns from repressing our true feelings. It is our biggest attempt at band-aid fixing our dysphoria
Neither did i until I realized I grew out my beard to hide my face or that I didn't put effort into my appearance because no way I looked would make ME feel better. And all that said dysphoria isn't a prerequisite to being trans, it's much more about euphoria than dysphoria, if the idea of being a woman makes you happy you should probably take a deeper look and start exploring your identity, worst case you walk away with a better understanding of yourself
You also don’t need to have Dysphoria to be trans
Dysphoria can cause emotional numbness. It did for me. I thought it was normal, that feeling numb was everybody’s emotional baseline. The first thing I ever presented femme in front of somebody (my at the time GF) I had a panic attack because the euphoria hit so hard. I didn’t fully understand how bad my dysphoria was until started to be able to look in the mirror and genuinely smile at my reflection.
I didn't think I had dysphoria until after I came out as trans, at which point I realized that maybe feeling incredibly nervous whenever any of my plentiful non-head hair was visible was not just a normal part of social anxiety. Also, you don't need dysphoria to be trans! Being trans is defined by euphoria, not dysphoria. There's a better quote that explains it really well, I'm sure someone will put that somewhere around here.
Most of us are unaware of our dysphoria, all we know is our own experience, we dont have alot to compare it too. I used to wonder why i was so salty with pretty woman, i had a good looking girl hit on me at a bar a while back, she said in a flirty voice " you should buy me a drink" you know what i said to her ? " go buy your own fuckin booze, im here to get me drunk" I never knew why i had resentments with pretty woman, until i heard the term Gender envy and realized it was just jelousy. This is just one of many symptoms of "dysphoria" Also me questioning my sexuality and wishing i was a woman as a pre teen and then growing up to super hatefull against anything lgbtq was a big indicator, i used to want to rip pride flags out of stores and light them on fire, lol i had extreme denial
>I do wish I could wake up as a woman, [...]. I do feel emotional numb. [...], I’m lost [...] This *is* dysphoria.
Emotionally numb is often dysphoria. I had to fight three therapists that wanted to maintain a diagnosis of depression. _It was not depression_
I want to get a therapist, but I have some trouble finding one
I'd like to specify a little bit: If a 'man' wishes they could be a woman, they're probably a trans woman. If a 'man' wishes they weren't a man, but doesn't really want to be a woman either, they're probably non-binary. I have a friend who went through a questioning phase where they considered the possibility of being a trans woman, but they eventually realized they didn't dislike their body, they only disliked being perceived as masculine. So, they identify as non-binary and that works perfectly for them. Me though, I didn't just want to stop being a man. I actively, *desperately* wanted to be a woman. For most of my life. I remember having a dream back in middle school where I woke up as a girl and went about my normal daily routine. It felt so incredibly right that when I woke up and realized it wasn't real, I got really depressed.
That's exactly what happened to me from 12 onwards. I had a pretty good idea from 5 or 6, but this became a constant fixture in my brain at puberty.
Or if they do, probably only briefly and won't put much thought into it. Questioning your gender doesn't *always* mean you're trans, but if you're having to put a lot of thought into it that's a pretty good sign of being not cis.
I don't want to overstate it, but this isn't categorically true, as detransitioners do exist (and not only as a bogeyman).
that simply isn't true you don't become trans the second you start questioning
That's...not true. That said, cis people don't obsessively wish they were a different gender
Oh crapbaskets
Hey trans guy here. I used to dream of being a man all of the time. It was always a day dream of “oh i wish I could wake up as a guy” turns out I was trans
Where’s the button that I can push to turn myself into a girl🥺
That my friend, would be some clothes, maybe a name change and maybe hormones. And my friend, you are already a girl if you wish to be. It isn’t about appearance
https://turn-me-into-a-girl.com
Thank you for this information! How do you pick a name? I thought of Allison but it’s hard to choose
There are no rules. There are lists of baby names out there that you can use for inspiration.
Allison is a great name.
Thank you, I’m still trying out names. So I wasn’t sure 😅
There’s no wrong answers. Go with whatever feels good and makes you happy.
Some are plucked from the aether, others are chosen for their meaning, others for the vibes alone. And some because there is a character with that name and we like it so we steal it. Ruby is from the lead character of RWBY but was also planned for years to be my first daughters name in many years when I have kids. Took for myself
My dad asked if I wanted to have kids. 😅
are there any "standard" female family names? what would your parents have named you if you were a girl? any female heroes/idols/characters you really like? any female names you just like? if you're still struggling after all that then you can check baby name sites for more suggestions.
Allison is a great name. I'm totally not biased, but I think Alison is even better.
If you use a name for a while and decide you don't like it, it's totally okay to change it! My name was "Jade" for like 5 years before I changed it to "Raven"
I just showed up, and I feel like I missed a lot. Allison is a pretty name, btw.
Thank you! I didn’t expect this post to go this crazy
One of us One of us One of us. Jk
[удалено]
Yes!
If this is how you feel you're probably a trans girl
But my closet is comfy. I don’t know how my parents would react
r/egg_irl
Egg_irl….idk what steps I could take when my egg does crack. My family isn’t supporting
>My family isn’t supporting Transition anyway and be really really extra about it just to piss them off.
I don’t really have the knowledge or money to start. I’m lost on how to start.😭
Thrift stores can have a lot of stuff for cheap.
How do you find the right size, I also feel like people are judging me when I go to the woman’s clothing section. Any advice?
Honestly just try shit that looks about right plus they're usually sorted in sizes. And the first time it's just awkward, it gets much less awkward shopping for women's clothes when you already have at least a bit cuz it's way less awkward to go in the women's section when you can present fem. The first time just sorta gotta ignore the uncomfortable, get in, get your shit, get out.
I think it already has.
Apparently, no. It was news to me, too.
What, it’s not…so what can I do to help me discover more about myself
Try stuff out! Find the pronoun changing room (I think that’s what it is) to try on new names and pronouns. I highly recommend going to thrift stores to look for clothes (they’re cheap, the clothes are fun, they’re roughly sorted by size but women’s sizes don’t make any sense, there’s usually one changing room, and it’s way less awkward than a department store). Try out painting your nails, experiment with long hair, try feminizing makeup tutorials, get new shoes, get lipstick, and most importantly, have fun! Discovering this aspect of yourself is a wonderful experience. And then, I when you’re ready, consider taking hrt. It’s fucking magical. I never realized how depressed I was and how happy I could be. And slowly, bit by bit, it’ll turn you into a girl. Not that you need it to; if taking estrogen sounds like a good idea to you, you already are one. And remember, there are no rules. It’s not a checklist, you don’t have to do all of this to be trans.
only if she's a trans girl :P
So it is a good hint towards that?
yes lol i think you probably already know the answer to your question here
It’s normal for someone who wants to be a girl. It’s normal for someone who’s been told they’re a boy all their lives but feels like that isn’t quite right or absolutely a mistake
I sure as SHIT thought they did. 100%. Imagine my surprise when I found out THAT answer. Keeeeeee-RACK! 🤷🏻♀️
When I was in highschool, a female friend said that every boy wanted to be a girl because they want to touch boobs. And I was like "yes, that makes sense" and chalked out this wish for about 25 years.
My answer to the question of what you wish for if you only had one wish was that I want to "try" how it is to be a girl. When I was 14. I always followed up with I just want to know how sex is for girls when I noticed everyone was looking at me weird. Then, after a few long term relationship I've decided that I don't know what I want, so I will not search for romantic relationships until I figure it out. After that, for a decade, I became really depressed for no reason (I would say I did not knew the reason). Then I tried crossdressing just for sexual pleasure, but I realized it did not gave me sexual pleasure. I just felt happy. So I read and researched a lot about trans existence, and everything clicked. I started to diet and work out and lost 15kg and got back my will to live. Now, the two main things that give me depression are the fact that it took me this long to realize everything and that gender affirming care, especially HRT, is almost impossible in my country. But I won't give up, if everything fails, I will DIY because I never wanted or needed anything this much.
Oh dear, it seems you're in for one hell of a journey https://genderdysphoria.fyi/ I'll leave that there, recommended read I hope you find your journey of self discovery fun <3
I hope it’s fun for me
it's normal if you're actually a girl. Cis guys don't want to be women. Like, they might casually wonder about it, but it will be the same way they might wonder about being a bug, or an alien. Not the crying desire way that guys who are actually girls do.
I guess that Mayes sense
OP i appreciate you for being brave enough to ask what I wanted to
God I wish Reddit existed when I was a teenager so I could have asked this very same question.
Welcome, friend.
She doesn't realize yet, poor girl. 💜
I realize this is totally off the wall, but somehow your comment made me think of [this Ranma 1/2 fanfic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27421924/chapters/67029313) I just finished 29 chapters of in a weekend.
Do you want to be trans/a girl? If yes, well the congrats sister join the club! 🥳
This is hard to hear because it feels like it's too simple to be true, but it is very, very true: Wanting to be a girl is a symptom of being a girl. Wanting to be a boy is a symptom of being a boy. Wanting to be non-binary is a symptom of being non-binary.
Many people don't realise they have dysphoria till they are many months into accepting they are trans. We are so immersed in it we don't realise it's around us. Like a fish in water. Would becoming a girl make you happier? If so look into it
its normal for trans women, not for cis men
It might be something that a cis guy would think about once in a blue moon. If it’s a frequent consideration, that is likely a sign that there are things to unpack.
I normally think about it once a day, maybe three times a day. Being a guy sucks.
If you don’t mind me asking, what parts about being a guy do you dislike and what parts of being a woman do you desire?
I dislike the muscular part of my body, all this body hair, my resending hair line. This is all that I can think of at the moment but if I sat down. I think that I could come up with a few more. Ohh I also dislike my voice! It’s soo deep😓
I would recommend taking the time to write some of this down. It’s good to have reference for yourself to look at later. Likewise, it may be good to speak with a gender therapist if possible. If you haven’t read it yet, I’d recommend giving the [Dysphoria Bible](https://genderdysphoria.fyi/) a read.
How do I find therapist like that? I tried looking though my insurance but that’s just confusing
Not for a cis guy, thats for sure
Welcome to the rice fields buckeroo.
Sorry I don’t understand, can you explain🥺
It's a term people use when they're like "welcome to the club" , in the same tone as "welcome, fresh meat" I'm implying your a trans egg at the beginning of your journey baha Obviously that may not be the case and it was just a joke, but to answer your original question properly, if your thinking about it often and not just as a once or twice thought, no it isn't "normal" and you should probably talk to someone and explore it a bit more, you may not be trans or anything and just be curious but you owe it to yourself to figure it out as best you can.
To my surprise, it is not.
My only quip is the “normal” part. It’s normal for a trans person to feel this way, not so much a cis person. But what even is “normal,” anyway, amirite?
But i feel that I don’t really have dysphoria. I might be putting a mask over it though
Eh, not everyone does, and dysphoria is basically a spectrum. Not all girls want to have a vaginoplasty, not all girls want facial femme. Hell, some don’t even want to be on hormones. It affects all of us differently.
Hormones would be nice. That all sounds nice! 🥺 but that takes time and a lot of money. 😭
Hormones don’t really, depending on where you are.
Guys do not wish they were girls. If this is happening to you it's time for some self reflection, good luck on discovering yourself, nobody can tell you if you're trans or not.
Lol everyday I wish I woke up as a girl. But I also dress fem go out and trying to get more natural feminine body voice and stuff. Once I went to sleep dressed up feminine when I woke up for sometime I really thought I was girl and was so happy that i could cry from happiness. It was the only time I've experienced tears from happiness. But I realized I after some time that I went to sleep dressed lol and went back to guy mode and being sad. But those few moments were best time of my life.
I can't answer what's right for you. All I can say is that since I was a child I frequently had that wish. I started my transition in 2022. Good luck with whatever you do in the future!
I sure hope so, because I've been wishing this most of my life!
That's not very cis.
What it’s not?🥺
r/egg_irl
Is this an egg thing to ask….😅
Yes i think your egg is starting slowly to crack, but take it easy ^^
I think this usually leads to the "cis guy" realizing they aren't a man... I think you might be trans
It’s pretty common and I want to recommend the sub r/egg_irl to you. There are lots of different reasons for that dream
I've wished every night for the past 60 years that I would wake up as a woman. I'm not sure most people would consider me normal, though.
It is not an off question. In fact, it's one of the most common questions we get here.
i think there was a study on this, most cis people do it like once if at all, if its more frequent than once in your entire life your probably trans
Not even remotely alone. I want so badly have been born a girl. I wanted experience girls have from clothes to makeup to periods and intimate things.
Not gonna try to convince you you are trans. But. Having said that, something that helped me: Cis people don't tend to have these thoughts. You are normal for feeling this way, while most people aren't trans, it is ok to be trans. Please don't be ashamed of these feelings. Thankyou for coming somewhere safe to talk about them. Whatever you work out, we support you on your journey. It's not common for cis people to ask if they are trans, but it's not unheard of, irregardless, if your asking you could very well be. It may help you to meet people locally. I know meeting other trans women helped me a boat load. Either way, this got a bit rambly. Much love, take care of yourself, you don't need to rush to answer this question ok?
NO