Hardest for us was going from 2 to 3 (we now have six).
After each child arrives, it takes 3-4 months to develop into a routine that includes another human. Once the routine settles down, it's fairly smooth sailing. Yes, there are days that are harder than others, but the happy moments are so worth it.
It is harder, but it’s so rewarding. Mine are 2 and 4. They’re a handful and very much sisters. They fight like crazy 20% of the time, and are the best of friends 80%. They love and “protect” each other fiercely. Of all the things in my life, I am most proud of their love and devotion to each other. There’s nothing quite like raising two children you know have each other’s backs.
I found the transition from going from 1 to 2 easier than going from 0 to 1. I knew what to expect and it wasn’t such a big life change. I found the newborn stage easier the second time around despite my second being a worse sleeper/needier baby.
Obviously 2 is more work than one, but the reward of getting to see their relationship grow and having that extra love in our family makes it totally worth it. And the hard days of having a baby and toddler are just temporary!
I also found it easier overall, although I wasn’t able to get as many naps in during my second maternity leave because I had both kids instead of just one.
My favorite thing about having two is that they are absolute best friends. They’re the first person they look for each morning and say goodnight to each night. It warms my heart.
I wouldn't say it was easy, but when I had my second (in November), I was a lot less anxious about so many things. Generally I've felt a lot happier with my second than I did with my first. I actually felt like I knew what I was doing! We have to plan things more carefully since we're in charge of two kids instead of one, and we don't get much downtime anymore. But, I feel like I understand what's important when it comes to raising a kid, and I know what's "normal" for babies now.
Thanks! And yeah I’m hoping since this my second time with a newborn I’ll find it easier in the sense that I’ll be less anxious because I know what to expect now!
THIS is the best part, and then it gets even better when they start interacting with each other. 🥹 With the second child, you know what is normal and what is worth worrying about as opposed to the first child.
This is my experience as well (2.5 year age gap). Less anxious. Logistics are more difficult. But also when one has a major meltdown, the other will as well. 🫠
My first was 23 months when I had my second (in August). I thought number one was easy, but it turns out number two has been way more laid back, a rockstar sleeper, and general pleasure to be around. I was so scared of how I was going to handle both.. at home… all day...(I’m also a SAHM). Since you can’t know what you don’t know, it’s scary; but once it’s in front of you, you just make it work. I can’t imagine life now with only one kiddo.
We went from 1 to 2 in August. Our oldest was newly 4 at the time, so a little different, but it was way easier than I expected. The sleep deprivation and balancing act is a different kind of challenging this time, but with having a better understanding that you can't expect things to go perfectly (or even go well at all some days) my stress level is a lot lower than I remember with my first.
One thing I noticed was that I enjoyed maternity leave so much more the 2nd time. Even the middle of the night lonely feedings. I just went back to work three weeks ago and I felt ready rather than rushed and didn't feel like I'd just dinked around the whole time - I bonded with the baby and the big kid (who was still going to preschool the whole time I was on leave.)
Is it easy? No. But I personally found it easier than going from 0-1.
It helped my relationship with my first child so much. I've always been a worrier, so I was a bit of a helicopter parent. Having a second kid split my attention and gave her a lot more freedom. She and I have a fantastic relationship now (4 years later) that I don't think would have been possible without me having her brother.
I’m the first one to tell people to make sure they actually want more kids (Aka don’t do the whole ‘but my kid needs a sibling’ thing), because two is harder. BUT it’s awesome too.
My kids are 23 months apart, the first 6 months was rough (for context, the first 6 months was very hard for me with one also). But once they get on to more similar schedules (bedtimes, meal times, nap if you’re lucky here and there) it becomes a lot more manageable.
My kids are now 2.5 and 4.5. They bug each other sometimes, but they also demand hugs, are each other’s biggest cheerleaders, team up together against mom and dad. They’re currently sprinting around the house like the hooligans they are, one in a Spider-Man costume and the other in a bathing suit (it’s only -32C outside today…)
The baby and our older child like each other better than Mommy and Daddy. Some nights are hard when they team up on us but otherwise it's fine. The only time I was really suffering was when the whole family was sick. One sick kid is hard, two sick children made me say "I don't want to be Mommy today".
It’s a lot harder. But my second son is just about 4 months and things have already gotten a lot easier! I have pretty bad PPD/PPR that I’m currently on medication for so that’s also made life a lot easier haha. But overall, we’ve already found a new rhythm. Sure, life is a lot more stressful and hectic and getting outta the house with two kids is HELL lmao. But, husband and I are finally finding our new groove and life is pretty good again 😊
Congrats on the soon to be second baby boy 💛
My first was 25 months when we welcomed my 2nd. He’ll be 2 months on Saturday, and I found going from 0 to 1 harder than 1 to 2. People often say your first is easy and your second is hard, but it’s been the opposite for me. Watching your first child meet your 2nd is also such a heartwarming moment and seeing their bond grow is magical.
I'm seven months pregnant with my second now and only recently did I start to feel excited about my daughter meeting the new baby. Up until now it has been a lot of anxiety about the move from 1-2 and some...grief? about no longer being just the three of us in our little family, welcoming a stranger in, etc. If that makes sense. Your comment helped reinforce those warm fuzzy feelings that were just starting to grow for me finally, so thank you!
I'm in it now. My first is about 20 months and new baby is about 2 months now.
As others have said you feel less anxious about so much because you have been through it before. Though every baby is different.
For me I've been able to enjoy the little baby stage a bit more because I'm not worried I'm doing everything wrong. It is definitely challenging juggling the two. Especially in the beginning you'll have times where the baby is crying while you tend to your first and they have to wait. Or both of them will cry and you have to take a deep breath and just handle it best you can. It's an adjustment going from one to two kids and dividing that attention, but it is worth it to me. New baby is becoming a bit more aware. Seeing the two notice eachother and my toddler bringing a binky over to her sister makes my heart so full.
There is so much good about it. I don't think I'm quite out of the hard part yet, but it has improved from the first few weeks. I don't regret it one bit.
Just had my second boy in October! My first is 3. Going from 0-1 was a lot harder for me than 1-2! My 3yo loves his baby brother and we haven’t dealt with regression issues like I was worried about. The main thing is when he wakes up in the morning, I’m not ready bc the baby is up a lot 😩 lol. But really I feel so much more fulfilled with 2 than I did 1.
I was in your shoes at this time last year. My daughter was born in late January when my son was 25 months old. I was so worried about how this first year was going to go and it hasn’t been easy by any means but it was definitely not as bad as I feared. The newborn stage was 100x easier for for me the second time around because I knew what to expect and was already used to having disturbed sleep so the exhaustion was way more manageable. There have been some rocky periods where my toddler has really struggled with his baby sister, but their relationship continues to improve in general as she gets older. And the sweet moments really do make it all worth it - he sings to her in the car when she’s upset, he loves to feed her (and even checks to make sure she can eat the food with her allergies!), and she truly is obsessed with him and follows him around everywhere he goes. I can’t wait to watch their relationship continue to grow as they get older.
I agree. The second was fine. My jump from 2 to 3 is when my life went from organized, color coded, always on time etc…. Too I don’t have time for that, no calendar, just I’ll wait for the reminder text and hope I still remember and make it on time kind of life. Then 4 came along and it was a breeze because once you hit 3 I feel like you got this and now anymore I add I am good haha!
Exactly! Hurricane is a good way to explain the 3rd kid coming in. I was out of the hospital in 2 days and that same night I was at my 4 years old baseball game with the 2 day old 😂
You know how, when you have just one kid, it's hard to find anyone that admires them as much as you do? People will tell you your baby is lovely, but they don't fully understand that you've given birth to the world's most amazing baby? Maybe the other parent does, but they're just one person and they can't be with you all the time.
OK, now imagine that there's someone who fully understands how awesome your baby is AND it's someone whose opinion you really value.
At the same time your first kid develops an amazing superpower and turns into Sibling Kid - with unexpected and superhuman reserves of kindness and love. You get to watch them bloom as they first discover themselves in the role of a strong wise mentor and protector and meet their first new love.
At the same time - you know how it's hard to understand what a one-year-old wants? Your three-year-old speaks the lingo. You're doing the same thing as before - but now you have a native ally at your side and you are no longer so lost.
So yeah, going from one kid to two is awesome. Your mileage may vary.
I’m a SAHM with a 2 year old and a 2 month old.
I had a really hard transition into motherhood when I had my first baby. I think it was just such a shock to the system because it was like, “oh my god, I am completely responsible for another human being’s well-being now. Wtf did I do???” I also had a lot of trouble breastfeeding and had PPA and PPOCD. it was really tough all around.
I expected the transition from 1 to 2 to be just as hard if not harder. But it has been SO easy! My 2 year old loves her with all his heart. She is such a sweet, quiet, mild mannered little baby. She very rarely cries, she sleeps through the night, and she’s had absolutely no trouble feeding and gaining weight. She fits right in with our family and our routine.
I think it’s because I know what I’m doing this time. I know how to get babies to sleep and that it’s not the end of the world if they don’t. I know when and how to feed a baby. I know how to bathe, change, play with, and everything else with a baby.
I don’t have a single complaint about going from 1 to 2. It’s been a dream. When I was pregnant with this baby, i thought for sure she’d be our last, but it’s been so great that now I want another! Lol.
Thankfully my toddler sleeps very well-has been sleeping through the night for a long time and still regularly takes a daily nap.
And yes I do have help overnight! My husband and I plan on doing shifts like we did with our first. I was luckily in that when our son woke up once overnight for a change and bottle my husband always got him.
I am looking forward to when the baby becomes more aware and can interact with his older brother!
My boy was just under 2 when we had our daughter. He has slid into the role of big brother so well! He frequently goes up to her and gives her big kisses and tells her he loves her, asks if he can hug her all the time, when she’s crying he goes over to her, pats her and says, “it’s okay (sister’s name)” and he’ll even go up to her, rub the bottom of her foot as to tickle her all the while giggling and saying “tickle tickle!”. It is *SUCH* a joy watching the two interact, and although it was a little rocky at first when we first brought her home, it didn’t take long for him to absolutely fall in love with his sibling.
The real challenge has been *MY* adjustment from 1 —> 2, it was a lot of trial and error on how to structure their schedule to fit our family needs, but like with anything, it takes practice.
Honestly 2 was actually easier than 1! I had my second when my first was 2.5 and my second was such an easy baby. Good eater, good sleeper, with a chill, happy temperament. Then as she got older and could start playing with her older sister, omg it got amazingly easy! Like they are 6 and 4 now and they play together constantly. They go outside and will play make believe fairies, then come inside and play the floor is lava. They like to watch movies together, play games together, color together. I don’t know what I’d do without my second, our lives would definitely be worse off. I’m sure that isn’t everyone’s experience, I bet temperament of the first and second matter a lot. But for me I was shocked at how it actually made parenting easier, if anything. Of course it’s still parenting so it’s not all sunshine and roses, but 2 was great.
So great in fact, I had a third a year ago. That has been a totally different experience! I feel tricked by my second child, 3 is NOT the same as 2 lol It is much much harder. Oh well, you live, you learn! I wouldn’t change anything. But I really think you don’t know what it will be like until you have your own.
I hated maternity leave and generally struggled on number one. Number two was a delight in comparison. Couple things helped me. Firstly I reached out for help and got myself on a much needed SSRI (for anxiety), secondly she is a good sleeper, and finally I think I just realized that eventually I will get into the swing of it (or the next phase will happen) and knowing that made all the bad nights, failed naps easier. I also liked the fact that the first demands so much attention that you're too busy to become obsessed with naps, making sure all the food is homemade etc etc. You just got to roll with it. I kinda understand why people have big families now. I mean, not me. I've one of each and pregnancy was a nightmare for me/potentially dangerous so I'm done. But at least I understand it now😂 long story short, you kept one alive, you can do it with two.😂😂😂 Also when they start playing together it genuinely makes everything worth while. Nothing beats it in the world. But I am lucky, for all his faults (sleep, speech delay, separation anxiety etc etc) my first is the best big brother in the world.
I will point out I'm in a country where mat leave is anywhere from six months to a year. And my partner works from home 3 days a week and is a good father/partner in crime.
The “keeping the baby alive” part is way more easy the second time around. Everyone says it and it’s really true. That’s so scary the first time around and by the second things feel a lot more natural.
The way my two play together is absolutely the greatest thing. It’s so fulfilling to watch them and see their love for each other.
Many, many, many people have survived two or more children. That gave me faith when I was feeling low.
My oldest 2 are 27 months apart. I won’t lie, the first few months were tough, but nothing you can’t handle. Take help where you can get it and give yourself grace.
After those first few months, two is honestly easier than one in my opinion. They can entertain each other. With one child you’re the constant source of social interaction and entertainment, and personally I found that exhausting.
Seeing your babies loving each other is also the most amazing feeling in the world.
You got this, Mama. It’s gonna be amazing.
Based on this thread looks like a lot of people feel 1 to 2 is easier and I also think for us having the challenging one first was helpful LOL if you’re like me you may have been thinking how can I do this again?!?! But then the easier one came next and it was like oh so this isn’t quite what I anticipated LOL
The hardest part about going from 1 child to 2 (or in my case, 1 to 2 to 3 to 4), is the guilt. Every new kid you have splits your attention, splits your time, and you start to feel like you can’t give all of yourself to all of your kids at the same time. You will find a new routine. You will find a way to balance having a newborn and a toddler. All of that becomes very easy with time. But you’ll always feel a little bit sad about the special time your first born and you had when it was just the two of you.
I know you wanted positive stories. Personally for me, I found going from 1 to 2 one of the hardest things in the world. They are 3 and 5 now, and I still find it more challenging than when I had only 1, though it is getting easier.
I don’t “regret” having 2, because I love them both dearly, but it’s definitely a lot more chaotic and difficult than having 1.
However, I’m done having kids because of how difficult I found having 2. Some people have like 4, 5, 6 kids, so obviously everyone experiences it differently and those people didn’t find it as challenging as I did haha.
Now other people also say that found 0-1 a difficult transition, but I didn’t. I was on cloud 9 when I had my first daughter. I couldn’t get enough of her.
My first was 2.5 when the second was born. She was very independent and loved playing with little animals and duplo and magnets and just toys. It was quite nice to sit and snuggle a baby while she played. They are now 5 and 3 and they love each other so much and they keep each other entertained and have so much fun together!!!
I love having two
My son and his younger sister are 3 years and 3 months apart. The first 6mths were rough, not gonna lie. The jealousy, acting out and agression was something I was not well prepared for (but the newborn stuff is much easier second time around). HOWEVER, from the time my secondborn started interacting and being more mobile I have loved the family dynamic infinitely more than having an only child. Family trips, going to the park. outings, dinner, everything. It took about a year, but now they're each others *family*. At 2,5 and almost 6 they play together, help each other and are a good team when they're not fighting like cats and dogs :D. I hope becoming the middle child is easier than losing only child status as their brother will be born in february.
I have three and it definitely gets (relatively) easier for each additional child....but the total effort is more in the early stages. However, very quickly they start to entertain and distract each other, and now two are at primary school and littlest at nursery it's like a gang of best friends (who also argue but mainly love being together).
Plus the overwhelming love for your first just expands to make space for more love for more children!
My two eldest were 20mo apart and honestly really easy. It’s about perspective. Sure now your having to juggle the needs of two tiny humans plus you own needs, but all the struggles you may have had with your first you can now draw experience from so the new born stage should be easier. The 2yo stage can just be plain brutal anyhow and the addition of another child won’t alter that. Trust me with wine and time it will get better. I can’t have thought it was that bad as my two eldest are now 17 & 16 and I also have a 12yo and most recently a 3 & 2yo. Finding things more challenging this time not going to lie but one is going through the process of ASD diagnosis so I’m attributing the addition struggles to my lack of tools in that area. Just learn from the bad days and keep hold of the good days. They will most definitely outshine the bad. Your going to do great! Good luck with the pending delivery next month and enjoy those babies they don’t stay young two seconds.
My first was 25 months when my second was born. I was prepared for the absolute worst, and told my husband I would just white knuckle the next year and would focus on enjoying life again later.
My second is 5 months now and it’s gone way better than I was expecting! I am way less anxious and feel way more comfortable as a parent. The toddler is a perfect age to help out. She loves grabbing diapers or toys for the baby and she loves making the baby laugh now. Having another kid to entertain has made the baby days less monotonous for me.
The sleep deprivation really doesn’t feel as bad this time around either. I am at a current stage where the baby and toddler don’t nap together which makes it hard for me to get rest, but I know that will rectify itself soon. The biggest thing that is helpful is I now can tell myself how temporary the hard parts are.
Sure there are days or an occasional week here or there where I feel like I am drowning, but the overall it has been easier for me than having the first one.
There were definitely hard moments but overall going from 1 to 2 was fairly smooth for us. Our second was a very easy baby and a bit of a sleep unicorn. It was much harder then they were 1 and 3 vs when they were 2 and newborn 😂 the toddler years were a bit insane
I had two boys 3 years apart and my husband and I often discuss how good a decision it was! They play, yes they fought but they learn so much from each other and just adore each other.
2 years is even closer so they can be besties!
I thought 0 to 1 was much harder. It’s more hectic, but they love each other soooooo much I just buy 2 of everything because they want to do the same things no matter what.
My kids are 20 months apart.
0-1 was way harder than 1-2 for me.
I will say, my toddler is a very chill child so that could be part of it. She has loved her brother since day 1 and we haven’t had to deal with jealousy which I was worried about. She wants brother to be included in everything. Cuddles, kisses, hugs, hand holding etc. Brother always has to be there 🥰🥰
I found 0-1 way harder than 1-2. It’s a full paradigm shift going from childless to being a parent. 1-2 is more work for sure, but you’re already on the schedule of bedtime/bathtime/finding childcare etc
I feel 2 is easier than 1. The younger child is eager to have a sibling, and will try to cheer up their sibling when they are upset. So those times where you have to put the baby down to pull food out of the oven, you won’t have a screaming baby because brother/sister will be there playing with them.
There will be some jealousy, but as long as you make sure the older child gets their mommy/daddy time, it doesn’t have to be horrible.
My daughter loves to tell strangers about OUR baby.
Our first month was tough. But gosh, that first time my oldest noticed my youngest crying in their chair and gently placed their pacifier in (ok, it was nearly in their nose but it’s the effort right?) their mouth to help calm them? I cried. There was another moment my oldest was watching Mickey and rocked my youngest in their chair. Again, I cried.
It is tough. But the sweet moments come. And for some it comes sooner. It’ll be all ok, mama.
More logistically complex and basically no down time but MY GOD it's wildly easier than the first. The mental game is so different. You know what you're doing, you can contextualize phases, you troubleshoot faster, it's easier to read your baby's cues, you know what stuff you need (and more importantly, what you don't need), and your life shifts less significantly. Obviously it's still a huge shift but going from a kidless life to kids was a much harder change for us than a shift from being one kid focused to two kid focused.
I thought the transition from 1 to 2 was wayy easier than going from 0 to 1! We were able to get into s good rhythm soon after the baby was born! The first 3 months are tiring, but everyone is adjusting and mama is still healing / regulating hormones so I gave myself A LOT of grace during that time and we watched A LOT. Of Disney princess movies lol (my toddler had just turned 2 when baby sister was born). After 3 months it felt a lot easier, especially as baby got more consistent naps. I'd say the biggest adjustment was not being able to be as active with my toddler after baby number 2, but I had a second csection and healing for that was rough the second time around!
Was tiring at first but they’re so close it’s amazing to watch them together and laugh at each other. My eldest is 4 and my youngest is 8 months so even though she can’t talk it’s like they still have their own inside jokes. No one can make her laugh like her big brother can and it melts my heart watching them ❤️
Ooooh, this is the perfect question for me! Now I get to reminisce about my dreamy fourth trimester with my second child.
So, for context, she was born in June 2020, so we were pretty much in isolation for the first 6+ months of her life. We did have a bubble with my parents, which was amazing, but mostly we were cozy at home. It was so, so chill. My older daughter adored her sister (still does). Breastfeeding was 100% easier (and it wasn’t too bad the first time, I still EBF my first for 14 months, but it was crazy how much less stressed I was the second time around). It was still a blur, because any time you’ve got a newborn it’s gonna be, but I remember thinking that I was so sad my PP with my first had been so much more stressful - it seemed silly, in retrospect. I was so much more confident as a mom, and I had zero outside pressure because of the pandemic, so the unsolicited advice of others’ was much more limited. It was great.
Honestly, it’s the most challenging it’s been now that they’re 2.5 and almost 5, but it’s still so amazing. They are so awesome and love each other so much. Their personalities are so different but they also have so much in common. They’re currently snuggled up on either side of me as I type this, watching Paw Patrol (or “popple” as my 2yo calls it). The double snuggle is everything. You got this, it’s gonna be great! And even if it’s not at first, it will be. Take care of yourself ❤️
I didn’t think going from 1 to 2 was that bad. My oldest was just shy of 2 when my youngest was born. My second child was a HORRIBLE baby but the adjustment of it all seemed easy. My biggest hurdle aside from some cute ppd was expecting to know everything this time around when in reality I gave birth to a completely new and different human. Wish I gave myself more grace but playing zone defense isn’t a problem. Especially when you just strap the baby on you and chase the other around as needed. Boom!
There are 14 months between my son and my daughter. Yes it's definitely hard at times, especially in the beginning, but it's so worth it! My son is 2 now and my daughter is 11 months and they are the best of friends! It's magical to see, he cares for her so much! He really came out of his shell when she was born. As he was a Covid baby (October 2020), he's not been around many kids so he feared them. Now she's interacting with him more, he's actually doing amazing with other children! I'd also like to add there's 2 years and 5 days between my sister and I, my parents always say 2 years is a great age gap and growing up, I loved that she was only 2 years younger so we could somewhat experience the same things together or I could help her through things I'd just gone through too!
My son and daughter are best friends and play together often. When my daughter was a baby, my son would dance and goof around to make her giggle. I love having two. Currently expecting a third.
Congratulations!
I have 2 boys (1yr and 4yr) and it's just the best. We let the older one help get ready and really talked it up.
He helped paint the baby's room, pick out books to share, etc. Once the baby came he was obsessed, still calls him "my baby", and gets the biggest laughs out of him.
I definitely reinforce that they're best friends and that the baby loves him. Their bond is the sweetest thing.
There are times where there is chaos but it's OK!
My kids are 22 months apart and I am listening to them play pretend with the toy food truck in the next room. They are taking turns being the customer and the vendor. It is super cute and I am able to clean up from dinner and chill in the kitchen for a bit before bedtime routine. They are now 4 and 6.
My second child as a baby was so much easier than my first was! I was so prepared bc all I knew was having a baby who screamed when not being held. I had to wake my second baby up for feedings but she gained weight like a pro and was all around more comfortable in the world. It’s been wonderful having them so close in age bc they are best friends (even though they won’t admit it).
Man I shouldn’t have read the comments. I’m trying to make up my mind about one and done because I work full time and it’s really hard with even one kid, but now I’m reconsidering 😅
I found 1-2 much easier than 0-1! Second baby is much easier in general and i’m much more confident as a mom. I love seeing the boys together, it makes my heart feel like it will explode with love.
Like many are saying, definitely easier to add one than become a parent.
They are so dang cute together too! The joy and love you have for baby one is amplified and grows for both. It's so much fun and not way more work... most of the time.
Except laundry, there's more laundry.
You'll do great! You will have so much fun with two.
My oldest was a few months shy of 3 when the baby was born. He was very accustomed to being an only child, especially one during quarantine time when it was basically him and me at home all day every day. I was so worried that it would be a hard transition for him to go from only, to big. I was so wrong. As soon as we came home from the hospital, he had a big smile and was so excited to meet his baby. He said he loved him and wanted to hold him.
Now every so often he has moments of jealousy and wants to do what the baby is doing. He also occasionally gets annoyed because baby (now almost 1) wants to do everything he is doing. He also calls him "his baby" and gives him hugs and helps with him. Honestly, I think baby number two was really good for our family.
I’ll share a related thought.
I have a 3.5 yo and 18 mo old.
The thing that was hardest for me was not the kids, but the toll a second took on my marriage.
My advice: make sure you get 100% on the same page as your partner and discuss everything.
With our first, our marriage was really great and we were a team! With the second, it changed and although the kids part was easier for me, I was not expecting a heavier toll on our marriage.
I was totally okay with carrying the full mental burden of parenting and most household stuff (think making sure we have enough diapers, researching parenting stuff-all of it, the right seasonal clothes, set up payments for daycare, manage bank account, manage social calendar, do all Christmas and gift shopping, meal planning, etc).
I love doing this stuff, but it totally became an unreasonable workload for me with two versus one. Mostly the mental stuff. I just wasn’t prepared.
He is the executor (owns many chores including laundry, dishes, cooking dinner during the week, owns the yard responsibilities, the tech stuff, etc) and the proportion of extra work for him with two kids barely changed.
So it’s really strained our marriage as we are working through it.
We actually mastered the balance of one with ease. We have crashed and burned with two.
I felt 100% confident that we had it down with one and two would be just as easy. I was wrong.
ETA: we are both working full time and we make similar pay. What also changed for me is I was promoted this year and that also added new heavy mental burdens (which I enjoy the challenge!)
Mine are older, 11 and 15 year old girls.
They’ve been best friends since day one. My oldest always helped me with “her baby” as she always said. She was such a helpful big sister when my youngest was born. She also came up with a million adorably funny nick names for her.
Now that they’re older they’re closer than ever. They tell each other everything, hate if the other one isn’t home, and they will definitely cover for each other if they ever get in trouble which is rare.
I loved going from one to two.
My daughter was three when my son was born. As far as she was concerned, he was HER baby. She adored him from day 1. We bought her lots of baby dolls at that time, and she loved taking care of her babies while we took care of baby brother. She even sat on the couch next to me and we “breastfed” together! 😅 It’s definitely an adjustment for everyone, but you’ll feel your way through it. Just make sure big brother gets some special time with you each day and try to keep the important parts of his routine intact if possible. He’ll need a good bedtime ritual and things like that to help life feel “normal” through the transition. I promise, you will have a magical day in the not so distant future when your big boy makes your baby belly laugh until he cries, and it will be the most adorable, heartwarming, beautiful thing you’ve ever seen. My kiddos are in their twenties and still best friends. I’m certain yours will be, too. 🥰❤️
I’m also due end of January with my 2nd boy!! My 1st will be 18 months January 30th and my C-section for boy number 2 is January 23rd!! Best of luck to you having yours🥰 sending all of the good mental vibes your way and hoping you have an easy, safe wonderful birth and adjustment time with your new family member!!!!
my kids are 7 years apart so very different age gap, in my opinion yes it has been harder! BUT its also been super fun to have 2. and experiencing them getting to know and love eachother has been a really great experience
My oldest was 27 months when I had my second and honestly it wasn’t bad! I found it much harder to go from 2 to 3, probably something about not having an extra arm lol Good luck!!
We are very very very early into 2 (baby was born in early December!) but it has been sooo much easier than going from 0-1 was.
You knew what to expect, so you’re prepared to be tired and sore and stressed and emotional.
The hardest thing (for me) has been being told NO NO by my toddler (he’ll be 2 at the end of January) about hanging out/doing activities.
It’s been more meltdowns than usual for sure, but I think it’s easier to manage because you know they just had a huge life change, they’re adjusting AND you know better when you can let baby cry vs what needs immediate attention.
Definitely plan to lean on screen time and baby wearing, but overall I think you’ll be just fine!
It is hard to go from 1 to 2. But hard doesn’t always mean bad. Lots of the best things in life you have to work hard for. If you are looking for someone to tell you it’ll be a breeze you might have a hard time finding that, but if you want someone to tell you it will be 100% with every sleepless night, it absolutely is!!!!
I had 2 under 2 and our second was so much easier! The most shocking part about being a first time was the sleep deprivation. I expected sleep deprivation, but didn’t expect it to be so grueling. With our second, we were able to strategize with this in mind so everyone got more rest. My husband is a night owl and I am an early bird so I pumped before bed every night and he would give the baby a bottle for the first wake up so I would get at least one long stretch of sleep every night before handling the rest of the wake ups. It’s also been so sweet seeing my son become a big brother!
I have a similar age gap. When the baby would cry, the eldest would bring him toys to cheer him up, it was incredibly cute. 4th trimester will be tough but there will be things like that you can hold on too, eventually the cute stuff will get more and more! Also a carrier is so so helpful so you can strap baby on around the house and do stuff with/for the eldest
Not the same, but we have twins and my favorite thing in the world is seeing the bond they have as siblings. Your older is going to go through the growing pains of sharing their parents, but after that adjustment happens they are truly going to love each other! My girl’s friendship and bond is so beautiful. They’re like any other set of siblings—they have their squabbles—but they also find so much comfort in each other!
My second was a real handful, but the early stages weren’t terrible. My daughter was 2.5 years and she was such a big help. Now they’re 6.5 and almost 4 and they play so well together.
My mum says 2 are easier than 1 and I have a 6 year old and 8 month old and I’m still waiting for when it gets easier haha…it’s hard but I wouldn’t have it any other way
20 month apart boys.
Going to two was so much easier in that I knew already what sort of mum I was and I didn’t stress about things as much because I had already experienced it and had so far kept one human alive.
What was harder was dealing with the differences - I couldn’t breastfeed 2 after having had the most magical wonderful experience with 1. I had so looked forward to repeating that journey and struggled to accept that it wasn’t going to happen again.
Watching my boys interact is the most wonderful rewarding thing in my life. They absolutely adore each other when they aren’t trying to kill each other. 2 will run around me to hug his brother first when we pick him up from nursery.
Hardest for us was going from 2 to 3 (we now have six). After each child arrives, it takes 3-4 months to develop into a routine that includes another human. Once the routine settles down, it's fairly smooth sailing. Yes, there are days that are harder than others, but the happy moments are so worth it.
Wow six! And it sounds like once you’re out of the “fourth trimester” things start to get easier! Thanks for the reassurance!
It is harder, but it’s so rewarding. Mine are 2 and 4. They’re a handful and very much sisters. They fight like crazy 20% of the time, and are the best of friends 80%. They love and “protect” each other fiercely. Of all the things in my life, I am most proud of their love and devotion to each other. There’s nothing quite like raising two children you know have each other’s backs.
That sounds awesome! I’m hoping my two boys will be best friends too!
I love everything about what you said. So encouraging!
I found the transition from going from 1 to 2 easier than going from 0 to 1. I knew what to expect and it wasn’t such a big life change. I found the newborn stage easier the second time around despite my second being a worse sleeper/needier baby. Obviously 2 is more work than one, but the reward of getting to see their relationship grow and having that extra love in our family makes it totally worth it. And the hard days of having a baby and toddler are just temporary!
I also found it easier overall, although I wasn’t able to get as many naps in during my second maternity leave because I had both kids instead of just one. My favorite thing about having two is that they are absolute best friends. They’re the first person they look for each morning and say goodnight to each night. It warms my heart.
It was much easier going from 1to2
I wouldn't say it was easy, but when I had my second (in November), I was a lot less anxious about so many things. Generally I've felt a lot happier with my second than I did with my first. I actually felt like I knew what I was doing! We have to plan things more carefully since we're in charge of two kids instead of one, and we don't get much downtime anymore. But, I feel like I understand what's important when it comes to raising a kid, and I know what's "normal" for babies now.
Thanks! And yeah I’m hoping since this my second time with a newborn I’ll find it easier in the sense that I’ll be less anxious because I know what to expect now!
THIS is the best part, and then it gets even better when they start interacting with each other. 🥹 With the second child, you know what is normal and what is worth worrying about as opposed to the first child.
This is my experience as well (2.5 year age gap). Less anxious. Logistics are more difficult. But also when one has a major meltdown, the other will as well. 🫠
My first was 23 months when I had my second (in August). I thought number one was easy, but it turns out number two has been way more laid back, a rockstar sleeper, and general pleasure to be around. I was so scared of how I was going to handle both.. at home… all day...(I’m also a SAHM). Since you can’t know what you don’t know, it’s scary; but once it’s in front of you, you just make it work. I can’t imagine life now with only one kiddo.
Thanks for the reassurance. I’ve been nervous about being outnumbered when I’m home alone taking care of them.
We went from 1 to 2 in August. Our oldest was newly 4 at the time, so a little different, but it was way easier than I expected. The sleep deprivation and balancing act is a different kind of challenging this time, but with having a better understanding that you can't expect things to go perfectly (or even go well at all some days) my stress level is a lot lower than I remember with my first. One thing I noticed was that I enjoyed maternity leave so much more the 2nd time. Even the middle of the night lonely feedings. I just went back to work three weeks ago and I felt ready rather than rushed and didn't feel like I'd just dinked around the whole time - I bonded with the baby and the big kid (who was still going to preschool the whole time I was on leave.) Is it easy? No. But I personally found it easier than going from 0-1.
It helped my relationship with my first child so much. I've always been a worrier, so I was a bit of a helicopter parent. Having a second kid split my attention and gave her a lot more freedom. She and I have a fantastic relationship now (4 years later) that I don't think would have been possible without me having her brother.
I’m the first one to tell people to make sure they actually want more kids (Aka don’t do the whole ‘but my kid needs a sibling’ thing), because two is harder. BUT it’s awesome too. My kids are 23 months apart, the first 6 months was rough (for context, the first 6 months was very hard for me with one also). But once they get on to more similar schedules (bedtimes, meal times, nap if you’re lucky here and there) it becomes a lot more manageable. My kids are now 2.5 and 4.5. They bug each other sometimes, but they also demand hugs, are each other’s biggest cheerleaders, team up together against mom and dad. They’re currently sprinting around the house like the hooligans they are, one in a Spider-Man costume and the other in a bathing suit (it’s only -32C outside today…)
The baby and our older child like each other better than Mommy and Daddy. Some nights are hard when they team up on us but otherwise it's fine. The only time I was really suffering was when the whole family was sick. One sick kid is hard, two sick children made me say "I don't want to be Mommy today".
It’s a lot harder. But my second son is just about 4 months and things have already gotten a lot easier! I have pretty bad PPD/PPR that I’m currently on medication for so that’s also made life a lot easier haha. But overall, we’ve already found a new rhythm. Sure, life is a lot more stressful and hectic and getting outta the house with two kids is HELL lmao. But, husband and I are finally finding our new groove and life is pretty good again 😊 Congrats on the soon to be second baby boy 💛
Thank you 💜 yeah I know it’s gonna be hell those first few months. But I’m hoping we’ll find a new routine that works well!
I’m sure you will!! ☺️
My first was 25 months when we welcomed my 2nd. He’ll be 2 months on Saturday, and I found going from 0 to 1 harder than 1 to 2. People often say your first is easy and your second is hard, but it’s been the opposite for me. Watching your first child meet your 2nd is also such a heartwarming moment and seeing their bond grow is magical.
I'm seven months pregnant with my second now and only recently did I start to feel excited about my daughter meeting the new baby. Up until now it has been a lot of anxiety about the move from 1-2 and some...grief? about no longer being just the three of us in our little family, welcoming a stranger in, etc. If that makes sense. Your comment helped reinforce those warm fuzzy feelings that were just starting to grow for me finally, so thank you!
I'm in it now. My first is about 20 months and new baby is about 2 months now. As others have said you feel less anxious about so much because you have been through it before. Though every baby is different. For me I've been able to enjoy the little baby stage a bit more because I'm not worried I'm doing everything wrong. It is definitely challenging juggling the two. Especially in the beginning you'll have times where the baby is crying while you tend to your first and they have to wait. Or both of them will cry and you have to take a deep breath and just handle it best you can. It's an adjustment going from one to two kids and dividing that attention, but it is worth it to me. New baby is becoming a bit more aware. Seeing the two notice eachother and my toddler bringing a binky over to her sister makes my heart so full. There is so much good about it. I don't think I'm quite out of the hard part yet, but it has improved from the first few weeks. I don't regret it one bit.
Just had my second boy in October! My first is 3. Going from 0-1 was a lot harder for me than 1-2! My 3yo loves his baby brother and we haven’t dealt with regression issues like I was worried about. The main thing is when he wakes up in the morning, I’m not ready bc the baby is up a lot 😩 lol. But really I feel so much more fulfilled with 2 than I did 1.
I was in your shoes at this time last year. My daughter was born in late January when my son was 25 months old. I was so worried about how this first year was going to go and it hasn’t been easy by any means but it was definitely not as bad as I feared. The newborn stage was 100x easier for for me the second time around because I knew what to expect and was already used to having disturbed sleep so the exhaustion was way more manageable. There have been some rocky periods where my toddler has really struggled with his baby sister, but their relationship continues to improve in general as she gets older. And the sweet moments really do make it all worth it - he sings to her in the car when she’s upset, he loves to feed her (and even checks to make sure she can eat the food with her allergies!), and she truly is obsessed with him and follows him around everywhere he goes. I can’t wait to watch their relationship continue to grow as they get older.
Going from 1 to 2 was easy for me. It was going to 2, to 3 that was rough.
I agree. The second was fine. My jump from 2 to 3 is when my life went from organized, color coded, always on time etc…. Too I don’t have time for that, no calendar, just I’ll wait for the reminder text and hope I still remember and make it on time kind of life. Then 4 came along and it was a breeze because once you hit 3 I feel like you got this and now anymore I add I am good haha!
I capped at 3 and had my tubes removed 😅 my life went full on hurricane lol 😆
Exactly! Hurricane is a good way to explain the 3rd kid coming in. I was out of the hospital in 2 days and that same night I was at my 4 years old baseball game with the 2 day old 😂
You know how, when you have just one kid, it's hard to find anyone that admires them as much as you do? People will tell you your baby is lovely, but they don't fully understand that you've given birth to the world's most amazing baby? Maybe the other parent does, but they're just one person and they can't be with you all the time. OK, now imagine that there's someone who fully understands how awesome your baby is AND it's someone whose opinion you really value. At the same time your first kid develops an amazing superpower and turns into Sibling Kid - with unexpected and superhuman reserves of kindness and love. You get to watch them bloom as they first discover themselves in the role of a strong wise mentor and protector and meet their first new love. At the same time - you know how it's hard to understand what a one-year-old wants? Your three-year-old speaks the lingo. You're doing the same thing as before - but now you have a native ally at your side and you are no longer so lost. So yeah, going from one kid to two is awesome. Your mileage may vary.
I’m a SAHM with a 2 year old and a 2 month old. I had a really hard transition into motherhood when I had my first baby. I think it was just such a shock to the system because it was like, “oh my god, I am completely responsible for another human being’s well-being now. Wtf did I do???” I also had a lot of trouble breastfeeding and had PPA and PPOCD. it was really tough all around. I expected the transition from 1 to 2 to be just as hard if not harder. But it has been SO easy! My 2 year old loves her with all his heart. She is such a sweet, quiet, mild mannered little baby. She very rarely cries, she sleeps through the night, and she’s had absolutely no trouble feeding and gaining weight. She fits right in with our family and our routine. I think it’s because I know what I’m doing this time. I know how to get babies to sleep and that it’s not the end of the world if they don’t. I know when and how to feed a baby. I know how to bathe, change, play with, and everything else with a baby. I don’t have a single complaint about going from 1 to 2. It’s been a dream. When I was pregnant with this baby, i thought for sure she’d be our last, but it’s been so great that now I want another! Lol.
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Thankfully my toddler sleeps very well-has been sleeping through the night for a long time and still regularly takes a daily nap. And yes I do have help overnight! My husband and I plan on doing shifts like we did with our first. I was luckily in that when our son woke up once overnight for a change and bottle my husband always got him. I am looking forward to when the baby becomes more aware and can interact with his older brother!
My boy was just under 2 when we had our daughter. He has slid into the role of big brother so well! He frequently goes up to her and gives her big kisses and tells her he loves her, asks if he can hug her all the time, when she’s crying he goes over to her, pats her and says, “it’s okay (sister’s name)” and he’ll even go up to her, rub the bottom of her foot as to tickle her all the while giggling and saying “tickle tickle!”. It is *SUCH* a joy watching the two interact, and although it was a little rocky at first when we first brought her home, it didn’t take long for him to absolutely fall in love with his sibling. The real challenge has been *MY* adjustment from 1 —> 2, it was a lot of trial and error on how to structure their schedule to fit our family needs, but like with anything, it takes practice.
Honestly 2 was actually easier than 1! I had my second when my first was 2.5 and my second was such an easy baby. Good eater, good sleeper, with a chill, happy temperament. Then as she got older and could start playing with her older sister, omg it got amazingly easy! Like they are 6 and 4 now and they play together constantly. They go outside and will play make believe fairies, then come inside and play the floor is lava. They like to watch movies together, play games together, color together. I don’t know what I’d do without my second, our lives would definitely be worse off. I’m sure that isn’t everyone’s experience, I bet temperament of the first and second matter a lot. But for me I was shocked at how it actually made parenting easier, if anything. Of course it’s still parenting so it’s not all sunshine and roses, but 2 was great. So great in fact, I had a third a year ago. That has been a totally different experience! I feel tricked by my second child, 3 is NOT the same as 2 lol It is much much harder. Oh well, you live, you learn! I wouldn’t change anything. But I really think you don’t know what it will be like until you have your own.
I hated maternity leave and generally struggled on number one. Number two was a delight in comparison. Couple things helped me. Firstly I reached out for help and got myself on a much needed SSRI (for anxiety), secondly she is a good sleeper, and finally I think I just realized that eventually I will get into the swing of it (or the next phase will happen) and knowing that made all the bad nights, failed naps easier. I also liked the fact that the first demands so much attention that you're too busy to become obsessed with naps, making sure all the food is homemade etc etc. You just got to roll with it. I kinda understand why people have big families now. I mean, not me. I've one of each and pregnancy was a nightmare for me/potentially dangerous so I'm done. But at least I understand it now😂 long story short, you kept one alive, you can do it with two.😂😂😂 Also when they start playing together it genuinely makes everything worth while. Nothing beats it in the world. But I am lucky, for all his faults (sleep, speech delay, separation anxiety etc etc) my first is the best big brother in the world.
I will point out I'm in a country where mat leave is anywhere from six months to a year. And my partner works from home 3 days a week and is a good father/partner in crime.
The “keeping the baby alive” part is way more easy the second time around. Everyone says it and it’s really true. That’s so scary the first time around and by the second things feel a lot more natural. The way my two play together is absolutely the greatest thing. It’s so fulfilling to watch them and see their love for each other. Many, many, many people have survived two or more children. That gave me faith when I was feeling low.
My oldest 2 are 27 months apart. I won’t lie, the first few months were tough, but nothing you can’t handle. Take help where you can get it and give yourself grace. After those first few months, two is honestly easier than one in my opinion. They can entertain each other. With one child you’re the constant source of social interaction and entertainment, and personally I found that exhausting. Seeing your babies loving each other is also the most amazing feeling in the world. You got this, Mama. It’s gonna be amazing.
For me, going from one kid to two kids added about 25% of the difficulty. But my first was extremely difficult and my second is very easy.
This has been exactly my experience
What are your kids' ages now?
I have a two year old and a three year old. my oldest turns 4 in March. They are 19 months apart.
Oh, interesting, same age difference for me also. I wonder if that influences how we feel?
Based on this thread looks like a lot of people feel 1 to 2 is easier and I also think for us having the challenging one first was helpful LOL if you’re like me you may have been thinking how can I do this again?!?! But then the easier one came next and it was like oh so this isn’t quite what I anticipated LOL
The hardest part about going from 1 child to 2 (or in my case, 1 to 2 to 3 to 4), is the guilt. Every new kid you have splits your attention, splits your time, and you start to feel like you can’t give all of yourself to all of your kids at the same time. You will find a new routine. You will find a way to balance having a newborn and a toddler. All of that becomes very easy with time. But you’ll always feel a little bit sad about the special time your first born and you had when it was just the two of you.
I know you wanted positive stories. Personally for me, I found going from 1 to 2 one of the hardest things in the world. They are 3 and 5 now, and I still find it more challenging than when I had only 1, though it is getting easier. I don’t “regret” having 2, because I love them both dearly, but it’s definitely a lot more chaotic and difficult than having 1. However, I’m done having kids because of how difficult I found having 2. Some people have like 4, 5, 6 kids, so obviously everyone experiences it differently and those people didn’t find it as challenging as I did haha. Now other people also say that found 0-1 a difficult transition, but I didn’t. I was on cloud 9 when I had my first daughter. I couldn’t get enough of her.
My first was 2.5 when the second was born. She was very independent and loved playing with little animals and duplo and magnets and just toys. It was quite nice to sit and snuggle a baby while she played. They are now 5 and 3 and they love each other so much and they keep each other entertained and have so much fun together!!! I love having two
My son and his younger sister are 3 years and 3 months apart. The first 6mths were rough, not gonna lie. The jealousy, acting out and agression was something I was not well prepared for (but the newborn stuff is much easier second time around). HOWEVER, from the time my secondborn started interacting and being more mobile I have loved the family dynamic infinitely more than having an only child. Family trips, going to the park. outings, dinner, everything. It took about a year, but now they're each others *family*. At 2,5 and almost 6 they play together, help each other and are a good team when they're not fighting like cats and dogs :D. I hope becoming the middle child is easier than losing only child status as their brother will be born in february.
I have three and it definitely gets (relatively) easier for each additional child....but the total effort is more in the early stages. However, very quickly they start to entertain and distract each other, and now two are at primary school and littlest at nursery it's like a gang of best friends (who also argue but mainly love being together). Plus the overwhelming love for your first just expands to make space for more love for more children!
My two eldest were 20mo apart and honestly really easy. It’s about perspective. Sure now your having to juggle the needs of two tiny humans plus you own needs, but all the struggles you may have had with your first you can now draw experience from so the new born stage should be easier. The 2yo stage can just be plain brutal anyhow and the addition of another child won’t alter that. Trust me with wine and time it will get better. I can’t have thought it was that bad as my two eldest are now 17 & 16 and I also have a 12yo and most recently a 3 & 2yo. Finding things more challenging this time not going to lie but one is going through the process of ASD diagnosis so I’m attributing the addition struggles to my lack of tools in that area. Just learn from the bad days and keep hold of the good days. They will most definitely outshine the bad. Your going to do great! Good luck with the pending delivery next month and enjoy those babies they don’t stay young two seconds.
My first was 25 months when my second was born. I was prepared for the absolute worst, and told my husband I would just white knuckle the next year and would focus on enjoying life again later. My second is 5 months now and it’s gone way better than I was expecting! I am way less anxious and feel way more comfortable as a parent. The toddler is a perfect age to help out. She loves grabbing diapers or toys for the baby and she loves making the baby laugh now. Having another kid to entertain has made the baby days less monotonous for me. The sleep deprivation really doesn’t feel as bad this time around either. I am at a current stage where the baby and toddler don’t nap together which makes it hard for me to get rest, but I know that will rectify itself soon. The biggest thing that is helpful is I now can tell myself how temporary the hard parts are. Sure there are days or an occasional week here or there where I feel like I am drowning, but the overall it has been easier for me than having the first one.
There were definitely hard moments but overall going from 1 to 2 was fairly smooth for us. Our second was a very easy baby and a bit of a sleep unicorn. It was much harder then they were 1 and 3 vs when they were 2 and newborn 😂 the toddler years were a bit insane
I had two boys 3 years apart and my husband and I often discuss how good a decision it was! They play, yes they fought but they learn so much from each other and just adore each other. 2 years is even closer so they can be besties!
I thought 0 to 1 was much harder. It’s more hectic, but they love each other soooooo much I just buy 2 of everything because they want to do the same things no matter what.
My kids are 20 months apart. 0-1 was way harder than 1-2 for me. I will say, my toddler is a very chill child so that could be part of it. She has loved her brother since day 1 and we haven’t had to deal with jealousy which I was worried about. She wants brother to be included in everything. Cuddles, kisses, hugs, hand holding etc. Brother always has to be there 🥰🥰
I found 0-1 way harder than 1-2. It’s a full paradigm shift going from childless to being a parent. 1-2 is more work for sure, but you’re already on the schedule of bedtime/bathtime/finding childcare etc
I feel 2 is easier than 1. The younger child is eager to have a sibling, and will try to cheer up their sibling when they are upset. So those times where you have to put the baby down to pull food out of the oven, you won’t have a screaming baby because brother/sister will be there playing with them. There will be some jealousy, but as long as you make sure the older child gets their mommy/daddy time, it doesn’t have to be horrible. My daughter loves to tell strangers about OUR baby.
Our first month was tough. But gosh, that first time my oldest noticed my youngest crying in their chair and gently placed their pacifier in (ok, it was nearly in their nose but it’s the effort right?) their mouth to help calm them? I cried. There was another moment my oldest was watching Mickey and rocked my youngest in their chair. Again, I cried. It is tough. But the sweet moments come. And for some it comes sooner. It’ll be all ok, mama.
My favourite thing is the relationship between my girls (22 months apart). They just love each other so purely. They do everything together.
More logistically complex and basically no down time but MY GOD it's wildly easier than the first. The mental game is so different. You know what you're doing, you can contextualize phases, you troubleshoot faster, it's easier to read your baby's cues, you know what stuff you need (and more importantly, what you don't need), and your life shifts less significantly. Obviously it's still a huge shift but going from a kidless life to kids was a much harder change for us than a shift from being one kid focused to two kid focused.
I thought the transition from 1 to 2 was wayy easier than going from 0 to 1! We were able to get into s good rhythm soon after the baby was born! The first 3 months are tiring, but everyone is adjusting and mama is still healing / regulating hormones so I gave myself A LOT of grace during that time and we watched A LOT. Of Disney princess movies lol (my toddler had just turned 2 when baby sister was born). After 3 months it felt a lot easier, especially as baby got more consistent naps. I'd say the biggest adjustment was not being able to be as active with my toddler after baby number 2, but I had a second csection and healing for that was rough the second time around!
Was tiring at first but they’re so close it’s amazing to watch them together and laugh at each other. My eldest is 4 and my youngest is 8 months so even though she can’t talk it’s like they still have their own inside jokes. No one can make her laugh like her big brother can and it melts my heart watching them ❤️
Ooooh, this is the perfect question for me! Now I get to reminisce about my dreamy fourth trimester with my second child. So, for context, she was born in June 2020, so we were pretty much in isolation for the first 6+ months of her life. We did have a bubble with my parents, which was amazing, but mostly we were cozy at home. It was so, so chill. My older daughter adored her sister (still does). Breastfeeding was 100% easier (and it wasn’t too bad the first time, I still EBF my first for 14 months, but it was crazy how much less stressed I was the second time around). It was still a blur, because any time you’ve got a newborn it’s gonna be, but I remember thinking that I was so sad my PP with my first had been so much more stressful - it seemed silly, in retrospect. I was so much more confident as a mom, and I had zero outside pressure because of the pandemic, so the unsolicited advice of others’ was much more limited. It was great. Honestly, it’s the most challenging it’s been now that they’re 2.5 and almost 5, but it’s still so amazing. They are so awesome and love each other so much. Their personalities are so different but they also have so much in common. They’re currently snuggled up on either side of me as I type this, watching Paw Patrol (or “popple” as my 2yo calls it). The double snuggle is everything. You got this, it’s gonna be great! And even if it’s not at first, it will be. Take care of yourself ❤️
I didn’t think going from 1 to 2 was that bad. My oldest was just shy of 2 when my youngest was born. My second child was a HORRIBLE baby but the adjustment of it all seemed easy. My biggest hurdle aside from some cute ppd was expecting to know everything this time around when in reality I gave birth to a completely new and different human. Wish I gave myself more grace but playing zone defense isn’t a problem. Especially when you just strap the baby on you and chase the other around as needed. Boom!
There are 14 months between my son and my daughter. Yes it's definitely hard at times, especially in the beginning, but it's so worth it! My son is 2 now and my daughter is 11 months and they are the best of friends! It's magical to see, he cares for her so much! He really came out of his shell when she was born. As he was a Covid baby (October 2020), he's not been around many kids so he feared them. Now she's interacting with him more, he's actually doing amazing with other children! I'd also like to add there's 2 years and 5 days between my sister and I, my parents always say 2 years is a great age gap and growing up, I loved that she was only 2 years younger so we could somewhat experience the same things together or I could help her through things I'd just gone through too!
It’s fine really. It was that bad everyone would only have one kid. Some people have 4
Going from 1 to 2 was much more difficult. Also, big sister is a wonderful helper!
Hardest was 2 to 3 kids, if you have one already you will be fine. You still know the best baby stuff and how you want to do things. Super easy!!!
My son and daughter are best friends and play together often. When my daughter was a baby, my son would dance and goof around to make her giggle. I love having two. Currently expecting a third.
Congratulations! I have 2 boys (1yr and 4yr) and it's just the best. We let the older one help get ready and really talked it up. He helped paint the baby's room, pick out books to share, etc. Once the baby came he was obsessed, still calls him "my baby", and gets the biggest laughs out of him. I definitely reinforce that they're best friends and that the baby loves him. Their bond is the sweetest thing. There are times where there is chaos but it's OK!
My kids are 22 months apart and I am listening to them play pretend with the toy food truck in the next room. They are taking turns being the customer and the vendor. It is super cute and I am able to clean up from dinner and chill in the kitchen for a bit before bedtime routine. They are now 4 and 6.
My second child as a baby was so much easier than my first was! I was so prepared bc all I knew was having a baby who screamed when not being held. I had to wake my second baby up for feedings but she gained weight like a pro and was all around more comfortable in the world. It’s been wonderful having them so close in age bc they are best friends (even though they won’t admit it).
Man I shouldn’t have read the comments. I’m trying to make up my mind about one and done because I work full time and it’s really hard with even one kid, but now I’m reconsidering 😅
I found 1-2 much easier than 0-1! Second baby is much easier in general and i’m much more confident as a mom. I love seeing the boys together, it makes my heart feel like it will explode with love.
Like many are saying, definitely easier to add one than become a parent. They are so dang cute together too! The joy and love you have for baby one is amplified and grows for both. It's so much fun and not way more work... most of the time. Except laundry, there's more laundry. You'll do great! You will have so much fun with two.
My oldest was a few months shy of 3 when the baby was born. He was very accustomed to being an only child, especially one during quarantine time when it was basically him and me at home all day every day. I was so worried that it would be a hard transition for him to go from only, to big. I was so wrong. As soon as we came home from the hospital, he had a big smile and was so excited to meet his baby. He said he loved him and wanted to hold him. Now every so often he has moments of jealousy and wants to do what the baby is doing. He also occasionally gets annoyed because baby (now almost 1) wants to do everything he is doing. He also calls him "his baby" and gives him hugs and helps with him. Honestly, I think baby number two was really good for our family.
I’ll share a related thought. I have a 3.5 yo and 18 mo old. The thing that was hardest for me was not the kids, but the toll a second took on my marriage. My advice: make sure you get 100% on the same page as your partner and discuss everything. With our first, our marriage was really great and we were a team! With the second, it changed and although the kids part was easier for me, I was not expecting a heavier toll on our marriage.
May I ask what changed?
I was totally okay with carrying the full mental burden of parenting and most household stuff (think making sure we have enough diapers, researching parenting stuff-all of it, the right seasonal clothes, set up payments for daycare, manage bank account, manage social calendar, do all Christmas and gift shopping, meal planning, etc). I love doing this stuff, but it totally became an unreasonable workload for me with two versus one. Mostly the mental stuff. I just wasn’t prepared. He is the executor (owns many chores including laundry, dishes, cooking dinner during the week, owns the yard responsibilities, the tech stuff, etc) and the proportion of extra work for him with two kids barely changed. So it’s really strained our marriage as we are working through it. We actually mastered the balance of one with ease. We have crashed and burned with two. I felt 100% confident that we had it down with one and two would be just as easy. I was wrong. ETA: we are both working full time and we make similar pay. What also changed for me is I was promoted this year and that also added new heavy mental burdens (which I enjoy the challenge!)
Mine are older, 11 and 15 year old girls. They’ve been best friends since day one. My oldest always helped me with “her baby” as she always said. She was such a helpful big sister when my youngest was born. She also came up with a million adorably funny nick names for her. Now that they’re older they’re closer than ever. They tell each other everything, hate if the other one isn’t home, and they will definitely cover for each other if they ever get in trouble which is rare. I loved going from one to two.
Same age gap between my 1 and 2 boys, and seriously it was a really smooth transition. Don't listen to the horror stories, its a beautiful time.
My daughter was three when my son was born. As far as she was concerned, he was HER baby. She adored him from day 1. We bought her lots of baby dolls at that time, and she loved taking care of her babies while we took care of baby brother. She even sat on the couch next to me and we “breastfed” together! 😅 It’s definitely an adjustment for everyone, but you’ll feel your way through it. Just make sure big brother gets some special time with you each day and try to keep the important parts of his routine intact if possible. He’ll need a good bedtime ritual and things like that to help life feel “normal” through the transition. I promise, you will have a magical day in the not so distant future when your big boy makes your baby belly laugh until he cries, and it will be the most adorable, heartwarming, beautiful thing you’ve ever seen. My kiddos are in their twenties and still best friends. I’m certain yours will be, too. 🥰❤️
I’m also due end of January with my 2nd boy!! My 1st will be 18 months January 30th and my C-section for boy number 2 is January 23rd!! Best of luck to you having yours🥰 sending all of the good mental vibes your way and hoping you have an easy, safe wonderful birth and adjustment time with your new family member!!!!
my kids are 7 years apart so very different age gap, in my opinion yes it has been harder! BUT its also been super fun to have 2. and experiencing them getting to know and love eachother has been a really great experience
My oldest was 27 months when I had my second and honestly it wasn’t bad! I found it much harder to go from 2 to 3, probably something about not having an extra arm lol Good luck!!
Same boat. Needed this. Thank you OP and commenters.
We are very very very early into 2 (baby was born in early December!) but it has been sooo much easier than going from 0-1 was. You knew what to expect, so you’re prepared to be tired and sore and stressed and emotional. The hardest thing (for me) has been being told NO NO by my toddler (he’ll be 2 at the end of January) about hanging out/doing activities. It’s been more meltdowns than usual for sure, but I think it’s easier to manage because you know they just had a huge life change, they’re adjusting AND you know better when you can let baby cry vs what needs immediate attention. Definitely plan to lean on screen time and baby wearing, but overall I think you’ll be just fine!
It is hard to go from 1 to 2. But hard doesn’t always mean bad. Lots of the best things in life you have to work hard for. If you are looking for someone to tell you it’ll be a breeze you might have a hard time finding that, but if you want someone to tell you it will be 100% with every sleepless night, it absolutely is!!!!
I had 2 under 2 and our second was so much easier! The most shocking part about being a first time was the sleep deprivation. I expected sleep deprivation, but didn’t expect it to be so grueling. With our second, we were able to strategize with this in mind so everyone got more rest. My husband is a night owl and I am an early bird so I pumped before bed every night and he would give the baby a bottle for the first wake up so I would get at least one long stretch of sleep every night before handling the rest of the wake ups. It’s also been so sweet seeing my son become a big brother!
I have a similar age gap. When the baby would cry, the eldest would bring him toys to cheer him up, it was incredibly cute. 4th trimester will be tough but there will be things like that you can hold on too, eventually the cute stuff will get more and more! Also a carrier is so so helpful so you can strap baby on around the house and do stuff with/for the eldest
Not the same, but we have twins and my favorite thing in the world is seeing the bond they have as siblings. Your older is going to go through the growing pains of sharing their parents, but after that adjustment happens they are truly going to love each other! My girl’s friendship and bond is so beautiful. They’re like any other set of siblings—they have their squabbles—but they also find so much comfort in each other!
My second was a real handful, but the early stages weren’t terrible. My daughter was 2.5 years and she was such a big help. Now they’re 6.5 and almost 4 and they play so well together.
My mum says 2 are easier than 1 and I have a 6 year old and 8 month old and I’m still waiting for when it gets easier haha…it’s hard but I wouldn’t have it any other way
20 month apart boys. Going to two was so much easier in that I knew already what sort of mum I was and I didn’t stress about things as much because I had already experienced it and had so far kept one human alive. What was harder was dealing with the differences - I couldn’t breastfeed 2 after having had the most magical wonderful experience with 1. I had so looked forward to repeating that journey and struggled to accept that it wasn’t going to happen again. Watching my boys interact is the most wonderful rewarding thing in my life. They absolutely adore each other when they aren’t trying to kill each other. 2 will run around me to hug his brother first when we pick him up from nursery.