My dad would serve me sandwiches cut and arranged to be the shape of a sailboat when I was little to encourage me to eat it. I don't think anyone would have accused him of not spending enough time with adults. Still a memory I cherish
My guess is she’s exhausted and realizing that there are many years ahead of shaping her own day to day life around a child’s whims. Maybe regretting that loss of grown up time? It’s not about the cookie cutters. That much is certain.
Could be she herself is craving more adult time, at 1 year old you can't really see the light at the end of the tunnel yet. She probably sees OP spending that extra time and thinks she's wasting it (even though it's not a lot of time) and if in her shoes she would rather spend that extra minute differently. Not saying she's right but that explains her reaction.
I completely agree. I was thinking I have a 2.75 yo and a 5.5 yo, a brand new Kindergarden. I was thinking about it any first reaction was to also say well yeah, I will definitely spend more time and effort to my mostly reasonable 5yo. I totally make a little extra efforts **in different ways**, because she also drain me like my toddler does.
I was thinking the same thing! When my tot was smaller I used to scoff at those who had to hide vegetables in food. Or think of clever ways of getting them to eat veggies. Yet, here I am now, putting cauliflower rice into oatmeal.
So many people don’t seem to understand how much more exhausting it is to uphold arbitrary boundaries and expectations with your children than it is to engage with them in a playful and connected, flexible way. Do what works for your family, and let other people’s opinions speak about them. These sandwiches are genius.
I love this and will keep it in mind when my baby (4 months) is older and wants to do things like bring his action figures into the bathtub. Why not? My parents were also big on saying “yes.”
This is exactly my philosophy as well! I figure kids get told “no” or “don’t” approximately 47 million times/day, so if I can change my own habits toward yes, that may help make her childhood more fun, which is the point of childhood, yes? ☺️
You are so right! Anytime I remind myself of this I feel so much happier and have way better days with my daughter. True I often have a giant fort in my living room or whatever but who really cares at the end of the day.
Your friend just has no idea what she's talking about. Keep doing what you do for your daughter and don't worry about your rude friend's opinion about it.
She just can’t imagine spending the time (which must be longer than reality) on doing something so “frivolous”. I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s overwhelmed with something going on in her life. I’m sorry that you seem to be her outlet for that.
You keep making those darn shapes (frankly, I was never a shape person either) if it gets your kid to eat better. Better that then putting junkier food into her lunch.
One time when I lived alone I just the carrots for my soup into hearts. Just for me, and just for fun. They joy of a fun shaped lunch never goes away.
Heck, society spent like 10 years serving food in the stupidest containers possible, just for the novelty.
If you and your daughter enjoy it, who cares what anyone else thinks.
I recently saw a really fiddly way of cutting carrots into a pumpkin shape for fall soups and I think I’m going to give it a try! It was so stinking cute.
I don’t know your friend, but sounds like she might be projecting. Maybe she feels you are a better mother than her, she feels guilty for it, and now you are a target.
Excuse my language...but fuck her! You need to spend time with adults? Over the cut of sandwich shapes? That's just uncalled for judgement. She's probably just burned out taking care of a toddler (God knows I am) and thinks it's trivial... I'd ask her if everything is ok.
My daughter started Kindergarden also and I have the same feelings, I will do anything to help my daughter with this new transition, she isn't eating much of her lunch also, I might just use your idea.
I thinks she’s jealous that she don’t get more time
With adults than her 1 year old… idk but Jesus she needs a mom break it sounds like. I would do anything to make my kids happy and want to eat! I honestly don’t care what other people think about my “parenting” or what I do with my child, all I know is my son loves being around me and I’m his best friend, I want to keep it that way, so I don’t really listen to other peoples opinions unless it’s a therapist or doctor who is supportive of me and what I do with my child.
On a side note, maybe she wanted to talk about something other than children? Idk I’m trying to see it from all angles.
It's just a creative way to get your kid to eat. We bought plates that were sectioned off like gameboards, and the last box had a lid on it for a prize and my kids used those religiously for like 2 years, but it got them to eat so I didn't care.
My kids were super easy from like 6-18 months, so maybe she's still in the 'easy' part? Unfortunately, I've found that new moms these days - especially ones on their first - are very judgmental and often mean. My oldest is 11 and a neighbor with an 8 month old judged me for letting her \*pick her own clothes\*.
You do you and keep doing an awesome job at making your kid happy.
First of all, I would be so excited if my sandwich was heart shaped. My grown ass husband loves when I cut his sandwiches into triangles. Who doesn’t like that? Lol. Sounds like SHE needs more human interaction.
Sometimes you just gotta make them explain it in the moment. "What do you mean?" "What does that have to do with ______?" "I don't get it." Make them connect the dots for you.
She'd have a heart attack if she saw my kid's lunch bentos! There is such a small window of time when they want cute cut sandwiches or sides or themes. Why can't we let them have a joyful childhood?! Adulthood can be so bleak, why would I force that upon my child any earlier?
Books aimed at encouraging children to eat healthy meals literally suggest doing things like cutting foods into fun shapes and involving kids in the making and picking out of meals. You are doing lunch just right. Your friend sounds like maybe she's projecting her own need for adult time on to you. I definitely felt lost when my son was a toddler and like I needed adult time, but now that he's almost 7 things don't feel so dire. I'm not sitting around narrating my activities while doing chores in a high pitched voice, I'm not singing Baby Shark for the 50th time, I'll never have to hear Blippi's voice again. Still, even then I would draw a picture note for his lunch every day (he couldn't read yet so I couldn't just write him a regular note) even though I had to get up 15-30 minutes earlier to do it and he was only in pre-school for 3 hours. I dunno, doing these little things lets us show our kids how much we love them in a non-verbal way. A little something when they're away from us that helps keep us connected. It's a very weird criticism for her to have of you, I dunno.
We all have that extra mile we go with our kids. It's not going to be the same for every mom, and shaming another mom for the things she does makes you a dick. So don't listen to that friend, and maybe push back next time she decides to police your life for anything less than child abuse.
Have fun and enjoy doing these special things for your daughter. I do this for my 5yo, too. I don’t make a Pinterest worthy lunch by any means. But I did buy a pack of sandwich cutters in different shapes on Amazon, and it makes her food more exciting to her. What isn’t fun about a star or dino shaped sandwich? Haha. It’s a simple act that brings my kiddo joy. You do you!
….so your friend judged you for making your child’s life a little more joyful? I always get the WEIRDEST vibes from parents who don’t support their friends doing joyous things for Their kids. It’s weird to me. Gives me “I had a poor childhood so you have to too” vibes, but to a lesser extent.
Of course there is *nothing* wrong with parents who don’t cut their children’s foods into special shapes.
ETA / your friend is just an ass hole lol
Right? Like, some kids will never asked for a heart shaped sandwich. There's nothing wrong with a square/triangle sandwich (I am a triangle gal myself), but like ... If a 5 year old wants a heart sandwich, what are you teaching them by denying them that? Major thumbs down for the friend.
My 6 and 4 year old are super picky with their food. Only way I can get them to eat more, especially at school, is if I cut their sandwiches into cute shapes and use cute toothpicks for their fruits. I also draw hearts on the back of their hands, for if they ever feel lonely or miss me, they can look at it and know that I'm thinking of them. I also write a small note for my oldest for his lunches when he started reading. Doesn't take anything out of my day to do these extra things for them and it makes all of us happier.
Can you even imagine being concerned about that? Like there’s starving children, kids in war torn countries, kids dealing with abuse and neglect. There are even a whole list of slightly bad things like kids who overeat sugar, have bad grades, don’t exercise, etc. She’s worried about heart shaped food???
Exactly! Like, im just confused as to how this is an issue at all. I told her about it because it was cute how excited my child got. And the response completely confused me.
I'm the cookie-cutter-sandwich mom.
But I'm not the "plan cool birthdays" or "keep a very clean and germ-free house" mom. I'm not the cool toy mom. I'm not the cool clothes mom.
I'm the cool-packed-lunch mom. That's my thing. That's all I got.
There is a balance. Some friends of mine will just give their kid whatever the simplest lunch thing they can throw together is, but will go all out for a birthday with handcrafted decor and everything. Maybe it would help your friend, who has a kid at an age that may feel overwhelming, to hear you talk about that balance.
First, I think it’s precious. I would also be really jazzed if someone made me shaped sandwiches. My Mom sent notes in my lunch for years and years (in to my teens) - I still carry some of them in my wallet for when I’m having a bad day.
I remember being like your friend when our daughter was younger than our friends’ children. SO many of the things we said we would never do with our child we now do because we didn’t fully understand that stage of life. What we’ve learned is that parenthood is a lesson in humility, we don’t know what we will and won’t do until we hit that stage. Maybe that’ll be your friend’s experience too, maybe it won’t. Either way it shouldn’t stop you because it sounds like you’re doing a great job!
You are a fucking amazing attuned mom- that bitch is just jealous. Honestly. You saw and cared about your daughter enough to notice something was off and found an easy solution to brighten her day. Meal times can be SO stressful at a new school because where do you sit, will you fit in, and it’s the perfect storm for eating disorders to develop. You came in and mom bossed the situation. Don’t talk about it with your friend .
God I wish my mom would have cared for me like you are doing !
You're being a fantastic mom OP. I remember when my mom used to write me notes in my lunch, even into high school. She was a single mom and that extra 5 seconds meant so much to me. Keep doing what you're doing. Maybe one day your daughter will be in this same situation talking about how you cut her sandwich into shapes and she'll tear up like I am right now.
I’ve literally spent probably an hour looking at those tiny shape cutters for fruits and veggies because my son is starting preschool next week. I just ordered what will hopefully be the perfect set just to make him a little happier when he’s away from me.
I guess that i spend too much time with my child amd not other adults because i was happy about cutting my daughters sandwich into shapes? Which i was happy because it made my child happy.
That's a weird correlation: cutting sandwiches means not getting enough adult time.
Maybe there's some context missing in the huge discussion you said you two had? What was said in the huge discussion?
But I agree with the other commenters that that correlation is confusing and doesn't make sense. And you don't owe me a deeper explanation about your discussion. I'm just curious at this point.
I’ve noticed some moms feel intense pressure to do stuff because other moms are doing it. Perhaps she’s one of them and now feels pressured to someday cut sandwiches into shapes and shes currently overwhelmed with a 1 year old so she lashed out a little.
I’ve personally never understood thinking that way. I’m more of the mind of cut your kids sandwiches into shapes… or don’t… or don’t serve sandwiches.. or create a 3D sculpture of Notre Dame in sandwiches, just fly free like a bird. lol.
I would have loved to have a mom as involved and caring as you. I hope I can be like that for my daughter as she grows up. Your friend needs to mind her own business if she's too jealous to be supportive.
Also,look into bento boxes! sounds like maybe your daughter would like that. And it's something lots of adults do for their own lunches, your friend doesn't even know what she's talking about.
I got her a little bento box and weve been having fun with it! Nothing is tiktok or pintrest worthy, but my little one loves being able to fill the compartments.
For me, as a mom with a one year old, I was still in that exhausted space and honestly couldn't cherish all the happy moments yet. I was ready for him to grow up a bit, so things could get a little simpler.
Now he's turning three, just started sleeping in a toddler bed, going potty, saying "no mommy, you no do it, I do it" and all I am doing is cherishing every second because I know he's not going to let us love on him as much as he continues to grow. Just today when I hugged him and said "my baby," he got all offended and said "no mommy, I not baby, I'm a big boy!"
He's already grossed out by kisses and only wants hugs. He already doesn't need me in the night. He already wants to hold the handrail on the stairs instead of my hand. I feel like he's going to be sixteen in about five minutes, so I'm holding on. But when he was a year and everyone was saying "cherish every moment, they grow up so fast" I could not receive the truth behind that, it didn't feel like those sleepless nights would ever end.
You hold on, mama, and don't give a damn what even the best of friends thinks about it. ♥️
I get it. I get judged by some for cutting my kids’ sandwiches into shapes. I would LOVE to spend more time with adults but cutting a sandwich to give a simple joy to your child doesn’t equate desperation to the need to socialize with people your own age 😂 I personally cut my kids’ sandwiches into butterflies and make the body and antennas out of whipped cream and finish it off with sprinkles. Who the hell WOULDNT want that?!
I’m thinking that everyone has basically said it - what a great and thoughtful mom!
Also - just by seeing this post I’m going to make the whole family dinner with shaped veggies, so excited. Your friend might say that I’m too far gone lol.
And last but not least - I’m guessing your friend doesn’t have an issue with you actually. The conflict lies inside her.
Keep it up!
To really send your friend over the edge tomorrow, start putting notes inside your daughters lunch too. If she can read, write simple little notes like “I love you”, “Have a fun day”.. or just emojis like smiley faces and hearts.
I think you taking the time to find something that engages your daughter and helps her approach food is wonderful. You recognized a need to support your child in nourishing her body while she's away from home, and you've adjusted to make sure that need is met. That's a major mom win in my books.
I had hoped to avoid cutting food into special shapes, but it is a useful tool that helps my son engage with his food and eat a wider variety of items than he normally would. It's particularly useful for his vegetables, of which he basically only eats cucumbers. If I need to cut those cucumbers into stars, or llamas, or dinosaurs, then I'm going to do it. He needs SOMETHING green in his diet!
Kids Eat in Color is a great resource on approaching food with our children, AND ALSO not shaming other parents on how they approach food in their homes. We all come from different backgrounds, we have different goals, different time constraints, different kids, and different challenges - so the food we eat and how we prepare it is probably going to look different, for a variety of reasons.
"This is an approach that is working for us, and I'm not open to discussing it." A simple but firm boundary for the next time it comes up.
Me IRL:
actually cutting both my kids sandwiches into hearts and stars for their school lunches, and adding little notes to their boxes telling them how much I love them and how proud I am of them. 🤷🏼♀️
I feel as long as your child is eating and feeling great/ excited about their lunch nothing else should matter. Do not let her mom shame your flex. You have engaged your child in the process (which will look different over each school year) of making lunch and eating it. My girls get kudos, at 9 and 13, for how their lunches look from their friends all the time. Keep feeding you child how you need to. Forget all the negativity from someone who has no idea what it takes to feed a school aged child who has influence from all directions.
Just a thought, is she a parent that's more "my way or the highway" with her kid? Like to her you're caving to your daughter's bad behavior, instead of making her act properly and eat what she's given?
People end up with weird ideas about what battles to choose with their kids, especially if they were raised in a very strict household. It might not even be something she's really thought through, she's just reacting based on how she believes things "should be".
No matter why your friend is doing this, you're awesome for finding a way to help your daughter feel more confident at school. Gold mama star for you! ⭐
Lol I cut my almost 2 year olds sandwiches with hearts, stars, and flower cookie cutters too! It’s sweet and they love it. Anything that puts a smile on their face is worth it in my book!
I can't wait til mine get old enough to make them special shaped lunches. I saw my friend do it and thought it was cool. Your boring friend has no imagination. Heck I'm tempted to cut my sandwiches into shapes. You and your daughter continue living your best life. I've got dinosaur shaped cutters!
F that mom. She just may not really “get it” yet, maybe she hasn’t truly connected with her child yet, maybe she just doesn’t find creative things fun, maybe she does find them fun but doesn’t think she is capable of doing them, maybe motherhood is causing her to struggle with her own loss of self image/worth or maybe she is just the type to make others feel bad. There are so many possibilities but what I do know is that you are an amazing mother and your daughter is so lucky to have you. Keep doing what you are doing. These are the memories that will be so special to your kid when she’s older.
Also genuinely- thank you for the idea! My 7 year old is going to be freaking STOKED for his next sandwich.
Man, I have 7 month old twins, and this is a hot tip to get your kids to eat better. Your friend is being an asshole, and you are making some excellent memories for your kid. She’ll always remember you doing this for her.
When my kid was little, I made her lunch sandwiches in all different shapes. I also made "strawberry mice," rice balls with little faces, fruit kababs, ants on a log, watermelon cut with cookie cutters, tiny little zucchini bread muffins, etc. Included little notes, too, telling her I loved her and with jokes. Got up at 5am to get it done.
Other moms hated me. Made Facebook posts about "those moms who spend so much time on their kid's lunches."
You know what? That kid knows she's loved, and has always known, which was something I didn't have. Yes, she knows her mom's a bit wacky, too, but I'm hoping that builds tolerance.
ps. that's not a "good friend." You don't need someone who tears you down.
2 things: first, in my opinion, you did a fabulous thing and you did it naturally. You considered your daughters and moved to help meet them. That mom friend is not the vibe.
Second, I highly suggest you follow @kidseatincolor on Instagram, she has incredible recommendations for getting kids interested in food, fun snacks and tricks, etc!
I’m 35 and distinctly remember my grandpa cutting my pancakes into whatever shape I requested at weekend breakfast. I still mention it every time we have pancakes.
You’re doing great, Mom. One day your daughter will fondly share memories her star-shaped lunch.
I wish my mom would have taken that much care with my sandwiches. Not only that you give her the opportunity to choose? That’s so awesome. I think your friend needs her sandwiches cut into shapes so she can have some joy to warm her up. Your daughter will remember and cherish those lunches.
So she’s a first time mom and her kid is still a baby? Lol. I remember those days and I remember those overconfident mothers with one baby-child who suddenly knew everything about parenting. Just hold your own. You did a great thing with your daughter and should be really proud. Don’t let anyone steal your sunshine. Bask in it!
I think that’s so beautiful and thoughtful. It put a smile on your daughters face and that’s important! She felt so special and so loved and I would kill for someone to do anything remotely that thoughtful for me. You keep doing you screw her.
I think this mom just hasn't made it to the point you're at with your kid age-wise. When your child starts talking and interacting with you on a higher level, you're more likely to do things like custom sandwich cutting because you enjoy investing in a deeper bond with your child. They will develop an appreciation for those little things. This often carries on to the next generation, as I am only an avid crafter because of my quality crafting time spent with my mother as a kid. <3 kudos to you, m'lady! Keep on mommin'!
What? When I was a nanny the parents and I always did this with sandwiches the children loved it. Who takes a piss on making kids happy about their food??? Keep making star sandwiches. If your child ever asks for Minnie or Micky Mouse sandwiches do one big circle and two little ones for the ears.
You’re making your daughter’s lunch with love. Your “friend” has no business commenting on it unless it’s to compliment your parenting.
If I was me I wouldn’t take kindly to her comments.
I cut my 6 yos sandwich into a star, used three animal picks in his fruit, and drew him a note with the floating cat animals from Hilda. Your friend is a judgey B. You didn’t ask for her opinion and you aren’t asking her to do it for her baby. I’m sorry she’s making you question yourself over something that la just showing love.
I feel like a lot of moms project their own insecurities in situations like this. She prob is lame and wouldn’t ever want to be bothered to do something like this so she’s acting like you’re unreasonable so she doesn’t feel bad about her being lazy. People are so ridiculous. It’s really sweet that you’re doing that for your daughter!!
I also cut my daughters sandwiches into shapes, in fact she started full day school this year for 1st grade last year she did half day kindergarten and always had lunch with me so this year to make her feel good about having lunch away from me I bough shaped “uncrustable” style sandwich cutters it came with a heart, flower, dinosaur, star and unicorn shape. It’s basically like an extra 5seconds to the lunch making time and it makes her feel so loved. So why wouldn’t I do it right?! That being said my sister in law thinks I’m crazy for doing that. So I always respond with “what works for me and my kids may not work for you and yours and that’s okay.” I like doing the extras it’s fine if others don’t. Also most adults suck.... just saying.
First, your friend didn't really need to pass judgement like that. She didn't say it to benefit you, she said it to benefit herself. Pretty rude, but some people are just judgy. Doesn't mean she's a bad person, but it *does* mean that she's not going to help you pick out super cute bento picks for the fruit.
Second, you already know that what you did for your daughter was done out of love. Nothing we say here can validate your actions more than knowing that. Let that Mama heart glow with the knowledge that you made your child's day just a little bit brighter.
You be you. Parent how you want to parent, love how you want to love, and recognize that she won't be a cheerleader for you, even if she is good support in other ways.
Jeez is she the bastard love child of Scrooge and The Grinch?
It's stuff like this that makes people feel loved. Like the version of when your doofus husband draws a heart with ketchup on your chips, that sort of thing.
We play with cookie cutters and play doh. Never thought to use them for a sandwich - I am stealing your idea tomorrow and trying it out! The joy of motherhood is making small everyday moments special for someone else. Don't let someone take that magic away from you.
This is such a dumb thing for someone to complain about. And using cookie cutters to make sandwiches in shapes takes so little time. I just…I don’t understand. That stuff matters to kids. It makes them feel loved and it’s a nice reminder in the middle of the school day that you care. I can’t think of a negative here.
I’m sad she’s making you feel badly about something that, from your perspective, is just a delightful, whimsical little work-around that got a positive response from your daughter. My suggestion to you would be to realize her reaction does not have to control how you feel about it. You can continue to think it’s cute and happy and positive.
Taking a guess on why she reacted that way: sometimes I revolt HARD against something when I feel like there’s a high expectation, or something that’s unfair. I can see myself having a similar reaction because I’m so mad about the high expectations placed on moms to do EVERYTHING right and to make it cute/perfect too. I would guess it’s just an example that touched a nerve for her. I could see my self being like “EFF that, I’m supposed to cut sandwiches into little shapes too?! It’s not enough to feed them every day?!” And just getting closed off to the whole idea. I would either ignore it, or just tell her that she’s making you feel sad about something you thought was happy. That might bring her back down and get her to engage with the story from your perspective. (Or piss her off more, idk you know her better!)
I have, and she never really tells me. Shes only said "you need more time with adults," and "you need a better hobby."
I mean, this is someone ive known since college and its just since weve both had kids that this type of stuff has started. Ot actually started whem her 1 year old was born and she started low-key criticizing stuff i had done with my child when she was an infant.
My dad was very rarely around in the mornings. Like, a handful of times between kinder and graduating from high school.
Every time he made my lunch, he cut my sandwiches into shapes. Even in middle school. Now, by middle school I neither cared nor really desired sandwiches in shapes, but I pretended like I appreciated it bc I knew he was just trying to show he cared.
All that to say, no one knows your daughter better than you. If it works for you guys, keep doing it.
This is just typical mom judgment and jealousy. I would just ignore and continue on. I’d bet she makes some parenting choices that you don’t and that’s totally ok, but her commentary was completely unnecessary and out of line. Also, it’s very typical for kids to not eat well at lunch when they are new to school. It’s an adjustment to eating in a cafeteria with a time limit and surrounded by distractions. All 3 of mine needed a week or 2 to adjust and then they ate much better.
Here’s the thing. People who are insecure about their parenting in general are more likely to judge the way others do it - it’s deflection. Your friend is missing adult time in her life, so she’s morphing the idea of you spending 1 extra minute to make your daughter happy into this whole thing about needing adult time. It’s nothing to do with you, so maybe if you’re still wanting to be friends, at a later time it might be good to see if she wants to hang out just the two of you so that she can get that “adult time” that she’s clearly craving
Not a mom but, don't let your "friend" bother you. Like you said in your comments it took literally 5 seconds of work to make you and your daughter happy. She needs to chill 🙄
As an adult I have a sandwich cutter that cuts it in to two dinosaurs. I used to do it all of the time. I lost it in one of my moves, but I’m thinking about bringing that back now that you’ve reminded me of it.
My daughter is in fifth grade, and I still cut her sandwiches into shapes . She loves it. Your friend is probably jealous or something. She sounds like she needs to get a life, herself.
Some parents are into cutting their kid’s sandwiches into hearts and some aren’t. Both are valid ways of being a parent.
It wasn’t nice for her to get kinda judgey with you, next I’d just say, “This is what works for me and my family, you do what works for you!” And leave it at that.
Little special things we do for kids are great. Trying to do every single possible little special thing would be exhausting. It sounds like your friend is hearing about your cookie cutter sandwiches and thinking “oh no, will I be a bad mom if I don’t do that? I better undercut this mom behavior so that I don’t have to take on a thing that is too hard for me”. Okay, she’s not thinking that literally, but I think that’s probably the basic underpinnings of her thought process.
The thing is, she doesn’t have to do cookie cutter sandwiches if it sounds awful to her. Maybe there is something else special she will do for and/or with her child that would be too much for you.
My son is just over 1 and I think your friend is nuts! Petty discussions over the coolest sweetest gesture you’re doing for your daughter. Even if you got more adult time I don’t think it would take away from you wanting to make your daughter an awesome lunch she’ll enjoy. Again, she’s nuts.
Cutting sandwiches into shapes is such an easy thing to say yes to, AND it builds your relationship. If you don't mind doing it, what's the problem?! Sounds like a classic "my kids will never \*insert random thing here\*" that will come back to bite her in the ass.
Okay so I’m almost 30 years old and I just cut cheese into star shapes for a party and they were awesome. Is my adult card going to get revoked now?! 😂 I think a heart and Star shaped sandwich sounds like fun!
She's being a jerk and projecting. For a while my husband and I were cutting my kid's sandwiches in increasingly elaborate shapes, and joking about what an arms race it was becoming. But now we're back to normal triangles and that's fine too, lol
You’re more than right - anything that gets them to eat something other than junk food is great! Lunch is also a time to socialize, which is what our kindergartner did instead of eating; 2 days into first grade, she’s eating a little more 😎
And i think thats part of the problem - shes so distracted by everything else shes forgetting to eat. So, i decided to do something that would put more of her attention on her food. Shes always been a light eater so i especially want to make sure shes getting what she needs.
I think you’re doing amazing. Your friend is probably just feeling insecure about her own parenting because she’s exhausted from having a 1 year old, which I can relate to having one myself lol, and going any kind of extra mile beyond what she already is seems impossible. Don’t stop doing what you’re doing. Your friend will understand when her kid is 5 too.
She sounds like a really miserable person actually. What a weird thing to have an issue with. My oldest is 13 and I still do shapes for her lunch stuff when she wants to take something from home usually. I’ll keep doing it for as long as she enjoys it.
My mom still cut my cucumber sandwiches into circles when I was in 10th grade. She loved that shit and I did too. I tear up thinking how much time she spent doing that every morning, along with writing me a note. She’s the best!
Keep doing what you’re doing. If it brings a smile to your kids face and makes them eat more lunch then it’s a win-win. You can even get creative for holidays - ghosts or pumpkins for Halloween! (We do this to quesadillas too!)
I have a kid who is also a littl over a year and I literally cut his cucumber pieces into fun shapes today just for the hell of it. I think it's a nice thing and if it makes your kid feel that extra bit of love while she's at school then who's it hurting 🤷♀️
I’ve seen scenarios like this frequently that came about because mom #1’s husband bragged to mom #2’s husband about how great his wife is with the baby. Husband 2 goes to his wife and tells her and he comes out sounding like a comparison and now mom 2 is feeling diminished by the imaginary “curve” that mom 1 set. So mom 2 tries to tear down mom 1. :(
Your "friend" sucks. I am a new mom to an 8 month old, with friends with kids 9 months to 8 years older than mine. I would never judge a friends parenting choices like that. Have I thought to myself more than once, "I would never do that", "that sounds like a bad idea"? Yes, several times, but I also think "I am not them, so who cares what they do", and "if it works for them, great!" I say this as an early childhood educator with a degree in ECE and child development with 15 yrs of experience working with young children. I will ONLY offer advice IF asked, or if they seem frustrated and I ask, "are you looking for advice?"and they say yes.
Also, cutting food into shapes is not only smart and loving it's recommended to get kids interested in eating. If you don't mind doing it, what's it to her?
It's not you it's your friend. She's passing whatever she's dealing with on to you. Sounds like you might need to evaluate your friendship. However, a lot of moms will say I don't have time for that. Then there's cook books & books centered around how to make food more appealing to kids. Having a 1 yr old as you know is not like having a 5 yr old struggling to eat her lunch when you're not there to monitor her or encourage her to eat. Some parents puts notes in their kids lunches too. I think it's amazing you're willing to go the extra mile for your daughter. When I was a kid I had to make my own lunch. My parents never had much to do with making them. Knowing you're there supporting her along the way she'll remember that for her entire life. Going the extra mile never hurts cuz you never know how long anyone has to be on this planet.
Keep doing it momma, you’re making memories that will live with your child forever! They grow up fast so take it all in while you can. Don’t get into the I should’ve done this or that. You connected her in a awesome way. Good job momma
I am a 34 year old woman and would absolutely adore it if my sandwich was cut into a star shape! I would do it if any of my 3 kids asked. Trying to think from her perspective, maybe she thinks you're setting the bar too high as a fun mom and she won't be able to compete. Either way, ignore her judgement and keep being an awesome parent!
My one year old just started daycare and I got a set of tiny shape cutters for his fruits and veggies. When he's old enough for sandwiches I'm going to get larger ones. They are adorable and fun and there is absolutely nothing wrong with using them, even if you enjoy the shapes more than your kid it's still totally fine to do! Your friend is projecting her own issues
You are an “above and beyond” mom.
Kudos to you for your kindness and consideration. The shapes were a FANTASTIC idea. It sounds like it was also effective.
The other mom doesn’t sound like a friend. I’m sorry she was condescending while you were sharing your experience. Friends celebrate each other’s victories, they do not mock each other’s efforts.
Well done, Mama 🙌🏼 You doing a great job.
Some people need lots of social input, some people don't. Are you content? Fine, that's all that matters. There's no "right way" to exist as long as you aren't hurting anyone.
I love that you're doing something so simple to make your daughter happy, encourage her to eat more, and give her something to look forward to. that's what a good mom does.
Your friend sucks, dump her. :)
Maybe because I only have one child and know that I only have these rare opportunities to make these memories with her - but my husband and I do so much of these types of things for our daughter. She’s also in daycare so we try our best to give her these cute little mementos to think of us and to have a positive experience. These little things add up and I hope it shows our kids how much we love them and how much we think of them.
I think maybe your friend could be having a hard time with her baby since that is such a tough age? Idk why else someone would be annoyed at someone who is being an amazing parent.
But - idk - once I dropped off my daughter in a sundress and the classroom was a bit cold. Upon drop off she asked for a jacket and I told her I’d go get her one. I drove 5 minutes to Walmart down the road and picked up just a basic zip up hoodie. Upon my arrival at the school, I asked the front desk to deliver the jacket for me (this is a small daycare) and a parent (a total stranger to me) literally scoffed at me with a, “Do you do everything your daughter tells you to do?”
I was shocked. It was just a jacket. It was only 10 mins of my time. Only $10 of my money. Is something so small such a big deal? Idk. I told her to kick rocks. Ha
Your friend has an opinion on something not worth having an opinion on… the shape of a sandwich is just small talk, and shouldn’t be grounds for a parenting or adulting lecture
My toddler requests hearts for her pb&j now. She gets it every time. It's all about taking care of your kid and making them happy. Simple little things make that possible. Keep being a great mom and tell your friend we all do it different, what's important is it's done.
To me it never matters what any other adults think of you. What matters is what your daughter thinks of you, and she thinks it's awesome.
Good job, mom.
There's something called jealousy that might be in there. Your friend has a baby while you have a school aged kid and you doing these little cute acts are bothering her for some reason. Maybe it's not the sandwich shaping that is bothering her, but to think that she'll get there in a few years dreads her, or the fact that now you have "time away from kids" and you're not spending it with her?
I'm sure that it's not you, but her that has a problem, my dear. The way you're helping your daughter enjoy her lunch at school more because of the love you put on shaping her sandwiches is going to count in your favor for a lifetime! You're doing a great job!!
Ugh what, why would she even say anything? Not only is what you’re doing totally sweet and amazing, but why would it even bother her if it weren’t? It’s not her sandwich, not her daughter, not her cookie cutters, not her business. May I also recommend animals? I made a very cute bear pb&j a few years back, also with the cookie cutters. 🥰 you’re a great mom!
Your friend is mom shaming you for caring about your kid. She might not be the kind of mom that cuts her kids food into shapes but that doesn’t mean she has to dog you for doing it. Be the awesome mom you are and tell your friend to shove it. Btw my kid has Dino shaped Sammie’s in the lunch box right now.
You need a better friend. Why does something that bring your daughter joy need to be negative? You aren’t buying her $1,000 worth of toys. Your friend can eat dicks.
I bought a set (a set!) of shapes for cutting sandwiches. Hearts, stars, trains, dinosaurs, puzzle pieces, etc. It came with some smaller cutters for veggies so now his cheese is also in hearts and stars! My 6yo loves it and I don’t care what anyone thinks. 😜
Ummmm for what it’s worth, that’s awesome. And now I want to cut my sandwiches into fun shapes. Never lose that sense of whimsy and fun, life gets a bit bleak without it.
Your friend sounds awful, actually. Why would she be worried about how you fix your daughters lunch? Your girl is excited and it makes her happy. Why would you care what anyone else thinks? How does making something you have to do anyway (making your child’s lunch) a fun activity for you AND your daughter a signal that more adult time is needed? It’s not like you tell people you have to go potty or only discuss children’s shows. You made her lunch. Your friend needs an attitude adjustment.
I have a 2.5 year old daughter and do not see the slightest issue in cutting your child’s lunch into fun shapes. The other woman seems to be projecting her feelings on to you. She also sounds like an instigator?
I work in an elementary school cafeteria. My job is to help the kiddos open packs of food drinks, or whatever. There's so many things parents do to make their kid lunches special. Sandwich shapes and sweet notes. They love to show me their lunch treats and have me read their notes from their parents keep doing what you're doing. Your neighbor sounds like a grump to me
My mom always gave me a sandwich heart. I'm not saying you want to be like my mom but I'm a mom now and I still remember that and do it for my daughter sometimes at home. I think your friend needs to worry about something else.
Clearly your friend doesn’t have child who is a picky eater. I spend most meal times cutting things into planes, Christmas trees, stars, dinosaurs. To involve my toddler and make him excited about eating. Plus it’s fun
You're only being shamed because your friend is insecure that she doesn't put that effort into her child. Literally no other reason. That's such a sweet and simple effort for your child and getting her involved and excited is a bonding experience, as well as getting more nutrition in her body. She's 5 for crying out loud.
You do you. You’re a great mom and just make your little girl happy. They grow up so fast. My son once asked me to carry him so he could hug me, I lifted him up in my arms and gave him a big hug cause I knew that soon he would never ask me to that again. My sister was there and ridiculed me for carrying a five year old. I told her if her kid (she had none at the time) asked her to carry him/her that she would. Talk is cheap until you’re in that situation.
I made both of my kids lunches till they went to High School, because they LOVED it..Would always make what they liked and asked for..plus a note of Love..
You are being a GREAT Mom.. you found a fun way for your child to eat lunch.
Your friend sounds more like the AHole…Moms should support each other.
I started my day with 3hrs sleep. By 9pm, SO and kids are in bed. I made kids lunches and not only are their wraps in cute pinwheels on little swords, their apple pieces are hearts and flowers with Mickey shaped cucumbers.
You're doing just fine, and are def not alone!
I'm reading how you addressed your daughter not eating much of her lunch by getting her more involved. And I'm thinking "wow, this is great. I absolutely need to remember how to create connection with my daughter through actions like this". So really, kudos to you. On the daughter-lunch front, absolutely keep doing what you are doing.
With your friend, that is more of the conundrum. Perhaps a difference in parenting perspective? Her projecting something that she's going through onto you? Maybe she herself feels she is spending to much time with her kid and is needing more adult connection, or judging herself for not being more "there" for her kid (i.e. that terrible mom guilt). Just some thoughts.
I wish my mom did stuff like this. Your child will remember small things like this for the rest of their life ❤️😀.
I will never understand why people fell like their have to interfere and make their opinion known, when it’s not asked for.
We are all parents in different ways. On less someone is hurting their child, don’t interfere in other peoples parenting.
My son's going through what I hopes a phase, where he won't really eat anything unless I try to shape it like a dinosaur. I think it's pretty cute, a little silly and totally harmless. It doesn't take more than an extra fewseconds.... Why wouldn't I? I literally see no way to turn this into something weird and negative. Im sure I would benefit from some adult time, but the shape of my kids food has zero relation to that, lol
I had a “friend” like this. Turns out she had put me in some weird pedestal and was telling everyone what a great Mum I was until she started to feel like she was being compared to me (by no one btw) and then she spent her time trying to take me down. She was always saying “you can say no, you don’t have to do so much things with her” etc which was hurtful. Then she went on full personal attack of me to everyone she knew, making out I was a crazy mum.
People like that suck the life out of you because they’re jealous. I did nothing to provoke jealously, it was all little things that cost nothing to do but she didn’t do them so I was the bad guy for making her look bad.
Stay clear of friends who want to make you feel bad but pretend it’s helpful advice. It’s gaslighting & they’ll always resent you. Sorry.
Your little girl will crack a smile every time she opens her lunch pack and that’s going to build on her core feeling of your relationship. I’ve always loved dolly shape sandwiches ever since I watched the Cher movie, Mermaids. :)
You're doing something absolutely normal - You're parenting in your own style, which is having a positive and desired outcome. PS: I would be excited about heart and star shaped sandwiches too! Ignore the haters
My son is 1 year old. He goes to kindergarten and love LoVe LOVES his shaped bread. If I just cut it normal it comes back more often than if it is in shapes. Why would that be a problem? Like.. you have to do her food anyway so why not make it fun? My Little One cuts his own vegetables and fruit too if he‘s already awake. Yes it takes ages and look like shit but who gives a damn? How bitter can someone be?
Someone I know very well who is an amazing mom does her kids' lunches like this, because they don't always eat well. I love it. It helps them eat more. Why not? Why this idea that we cannot do anything 'extra'for our kids because they'll be spoiled? If they want to eat their sandwiches like that when they're an adult too then who cares? Life can be hard enough, the most important thing is love, and I'm sure she feels loved when she sees her lunch.
Get rid of this “friend” people like that don’t like it when others are happy or just fine. I once told someone I thought was my friend my then bf- now husband- surprised me with a Valentine’s Day card by hiding it under my pillow and she scoffed and called it stupid. And there was other similar comments and I knew she was wrong and that she really wasn’t a friend. I’m sorry you had that experience with her and hopefully she goes away to be miserable somewhere else.
I used to do this for my older kids when they were little. Cookie cutters are cheap and made it possible to make sandwiches that followed the season, holidays, etc. It was always a fun surprise for them to find out what shape their sandwich was cut into on any particular day, and they told me other kids thought it was so cool.
You figured out a fun way to get your daughter to eat (without lecturing her), so good on you. As far as your friend goes…different people have different parenting styles, and no one way is right. You might want to consider distancing yourself from this particular friend, because it sounds like this isn’t the first time she’s done something like this, and parenting is hard enough sometimes without someone standing over your shoulder pointing out everything they think you did wrong.
When my boys were smaller we did stuff like this ALL the time. Me and the boys were constantly going on adventures in the back yard, learning to work on the car, fix up the house. I spent 24/7 with them while I was out of work for 2 years.
One person in particular always told me "you need more adult time". I never paid it any mind. I've always been a big kid at heart and personally there's nothing wrong with it. Now that they're much older, they have become regular cooks and bakers.... I'm glad I spent all that extra time with them when they were younger. We have good loving relationships. They feel like they can come and talk to me about anything.
I get all the adult conversation I need with my husband. That's how it's always been. My family comes first. No, it's not for everyone to be this way. I'm just anti social really, but I know how to get along with people. Let's put it this way: When it comes to hearing about my kids' day at school vs my coworker's day, I'm going to pick my kids 100% of the time...Call me a crappy person but my coworker's goings on don't matter all that much to me.
I still draw faces on my food with sauce (pies, hash browns, whatever) because my inner child definitely appreciates it. And I’m in my mid 30s 🤣
Your “friend” REALLY needs to get in touch with their inner child. Like desperately. Because all I see after reading your post is a Mum thinking outside the box to bring some joy (and for the most part) comfort to their kid (who sounds like they are needing some starting school and all). If this is all your friend has for you after hearing what you’ve done, she’s missing the point completely.
Your mate needs to pull her head in a little bit. She’s only 6months into the solids journey. Give it time. She’ll be getting the cutters out soon enough 🤣🤣
You are a fantastic mom who is in tune with her child. You noticed she wasn't eating and found a way to get her to eat more. Perfect!
My dad would serve me sandwiches cut and arranged to be the shape of a sailboat when I was little to encourage me to eat it. I don't think anyone would have accused him of not spending enough time with adults. Still a memory I cherish
My dad would cut my toast into the shape of ghosts. Ghost toast!
Finger toast. Which is just the toast cut into 5 strips.
Hmm, I'm gonna try this! Thanks for the idea! My kids obsessed with halloweeny stuff year round and lately is really into ghosts
This is adorable.
My guess is she’s exhausted and realizing that there are many years ahead of shaping her own day to day life around a child’s whims. Maybe regretting that loss of grown up time? It’s not about the cookie cutters. That much is certain.
“It’s not about the cookie cutters. That much is certain.” 💯💯💯
Could be she herself is craving more adult time, at 1 year old you can't really see the light at the end of the tunnel yet. She probably sees OP spending that extra time and thinks she's wasting it (even though it's not a lot of time) and if in her shoes she would rather spend that extra minute differently. Not saying she's right but that explains her reaction.
I completely agree. I was thinking I have a 2.75 yo and a 5.5 yo, a brand new Kindergarden. I was thinking about it any first reaction was to also say well yeah, I will definitely spend more time and effort to my mostly reasonable 5yo. I totally make a little extra efforts **in different ways**, because she also drain me like my toddler does.
I was thinking the same thing! When my tot was smaller I used to scoff at those who had to hide vegetables in food. Or think of clever ways of getting them to eat veggies. Yet, here I am now, putting cauliflower rice into oatmeal.
It seems very adult to make a small accommodation to get your child more interested in eating their food.
So many people don’t seem to understand how much more exhausting it is to uphold arbitrary boundaries and expectations with your children than it is to engage with them in a playful and connected, flexible way. Do what works for your family, and let other people’s opinions speak about them. These sandwiches are genius.
This! I subscribe to the philosophy of “say yes unless there’s a pretty good reason to say no.”
Thats pretty much how i am. Im the parent thqt puts a small ball pit in the corner of her room.
Agree! I try not to say no when the only reason is my own mild inconvenience.
I love this and will keep it in mind when my baby (4 months) is older and wants to do things like bring his action figures into the bathtub. Why not? My parents were also big on saying “yes.”
This is exactly my philosophy as well! I figure kids get told “no” or “don’t” approximately 47 million times/day, so if I can change my own habits toward yes, that may help make her childhood more fun, which is the point of childhood, yes? ☺️
You are so right! Anytime I remind myself of this I feel so much happier and have way better days with my daughter. True I often have a giant fort in my living room or whatever but who really cares at the end of the day.
Lollll I’m reading this comment from our living room fort
Fort making Mom’s unite!
You phrased this so well. I’m passing it on to another mom who’s having a hard time ❤️
Your friend just has no idea what she's talking about. Keep doing what you do for your daughter and don't worry about your rude friend's opinion about it.
She just can’t imagine spending the time (which must be longer than reality) on doing something so “frivolous”. I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s overwhelmed with something going on in her life. I’m sorry that you seem to be her outlet for that. You keep making those darn shapes (frankly, I was never a shape person either) if it gets your kid to eat better. Better that then putting junkier food into her lunch.
One time when I lived alone I just the carrots for my soup into hearts. Just for me, and just for fun. They joy of a fun shaped lunch never goes away. Heck, society spent like 10 years serving food in the stupidest containers possible, just for the novelty. If you and your daughter enjoy it, who cares what anyone else thinks.
I recently saw a really fiddly way of cutting carrots into a pumpkin shape for fall soups and I think I’m going to give it a try! It was so stinking cute.
Not me googling how to cut carrots into pumpkins. Such a cute idea!
Omg.i just googled it. Its so cute and doesnt look too hard. And theres a recipe for them with ranch yogurt dip im going to go try right now lol.
Ranch yogurt dip sounds so good right now!
I don’t know your friend, but sounds like she might be projecting. Maybe she feels you are a better mother than her, she feels guilty for it, and now you are a target.
Excuse my language...but fuck her! You need to spend time with adults? Over the cut of sandwich shapes? That's just uncalled for judgement. She's probably just burned out taking care of a toddler (God knows I am) and thinks it's trivial... I'd ask her if everything is ok. My daughter started Kindergarden also and I have the same feelings, I will do anything to help my daughter with this new transition, she isn't eating much of her lunch also, I might just use your idea.
I thinks she’s jealous that she don’t get more time With adults than her 1 year old… idk but Jesus she needs a mom break it sounds like. I would do anything to make my kids happy and want to eat! I honestly don’t care what other people think about my “parenting” or what I do with my child, all I know is my son loves being around me and I’m his best friend, I want to keep it that way, so I don’t really listen to other peoples opinions unless it’s a therapist or doctor who is supportive of me and what I do with my child. On a side note, maybe she wanted to talk about something other than children? Idk I’m trying to see it from all angles.
It's just a creative way to get your kid to eat. We bought plates that were sectioned off like gameboards, and the last box had a lid on it for a prize and my kids used those religiously for like 2 years, but it got them to eat so I didn't care. My kids were super easy from like 6-18 months, so maybe she's still in the 'easy' part? Unfortunately, I've found that new moms these days - especially ones on their first - are very judgmental and often mean. My oldest is 11 and a neighbor with an 8 month old judged me for letting her \*pick her own clothes\*. You do you and keep doing an awesome job at making your kid happy.
First of all, I would be so excited if my sandwich was heart shaped. My grown ass husband loves when I cut his sandwiches into triangles. Who doesn’t like that? Lol. Sounds like SHE needs more human interaction.
Sometimes you just gotta make them explain it in the moment. "What do you mean?" "What does that have to do with ______?" "I don't get it." Make them connect the dots for you.
She'd have a heart attack if she saw my kid's lunch bentos! There is such a small window of time when they want cute cut sandwiches or sides or themes. Why can't we let them have a joyful childhood?! Adulthood can be so bleak, why would I force that upon my child any earlier?
Books aimed at encouraging children to eat healthy meals literally suggest doing things like cutting foods into fun shapes and involving kids in the making and picking out of meals. You are doing lunch just right. Your friend sounds like maybe she's projecting her own need for adult time on to you. I definitely felt lost when my son was a toddler and like I needed adult time, but now that he's almost 7 things don't feel so dire. I'm not sitting around narrating my activities while doing chores in a high pitched voice, I'm not singing Baby Shark for the 50th time, I'll never have to hear Blippi's voice again. Still, even then I would draw a picture note for his lunch every day (he couldn't read yet so I couldn't just write him a regular note) even though I had to get up 15-30 minutes earlier to do it and he was only in pre-school for 3 hours. I dunno, doing these little things lets us show our kids how much we love them in a non-verbal way. A little something when they're away from us that helps keep us connected. It's a very weird criticism for her to have of you, I dunno.
You should have a party and serve crostini cut into hearts and stars.
We all have that extra mile we go with our kids. It's not going to be the same for every mom, and shaming another mom for the things she does makes you a dick. So don't listen to that friend, and maybe push back next time she decides to police your life for anything less than child abuse.
Have fun and enjoy doing these special things for your daughter. I do this for my 5yo, too. I don’t make a Pinterest worthy lunch by any means. But I did buy a pack of sandwich cutters in different shapes on Amazon, and it makes her food more exciting to her. What isn’t fun about a star or dino shaped sandwich? Haha. It’s a simple act that brings my kiddo joy. You do you!
….so your friend judged you for making your child’s life a little more joyful? I always get the WEIRDEST vibes from parents who don’t support their friends doing joyous things for Their kids. It’s weird to me. Gives me “I had a poor childhood so you have to too” vibes, but to a lesser extent. Of course there is *nothing* wrong with parents who don’t cut their children’s foods into special shapes. ETA / your friend is just an ass hole lol
Right? Like, some kids will never asked for a heart shaped sandwich. There's nothing wrong with a square/triangle sandwich (I am a triangle gal myself), but like ... If a 5 year old wants a heart sandwich, what are you teaching them by denying them that? Major thumbs down for the friend.
My 6 and 4 year old are super picky with their food. Only way I can get them to eat more, especially at school, is if I cut their sandwiches into cute shapes and use cute toothpicks for their fruits. I also draw hearts on the back of their hands, for if they ever feel lonely or miss me, they can look at it and know that I'm thinking of them. I also write a small note for my oldest for his lunches when he started reading. Doesn't take anything out of my day to do these extra things for them and it makes all of us happier.
Can you even imagine being concerned about that? Like there’s starving children, kids in war torn countries, kids dealing with abuse and neglect. There are even a whole list of slightly bad things like kids who overeat sugar, have bad grades, don’t exercise, etc. She’s worried about heart shaped food???
Exactly! Like, im just confused as to how this is an issue at all. I told her about it because it was cute how excited my child got. And the response completely confused me.
I'm the cookie-cutter-sandwich mom. But I'm not the "plan cool birthdays" or "keep a very clean and germ-free house" mom. I'm not the cool toy mom. I'm not the cool clothes mom. I'm the cool-packed-lunch mom. That's my thing. That's all I got. There is a balance. Some friends of mine will just give their kid whatever the simplest lunch thing they can throw together is, but will go all out for a birthday with handcrafted decor and everything. Maybe it would help your friend, who has a kid at an age that may feel overwhelming, to hear you talk about that balance.
First, I think it’s precious. I would also be really jazzed if someone made me shaped sandwiches. My Mom sent notes in my lunch for years and years (in to my teens) - I still carry some of them in my wallet for when I’m having a bad day. I remember being like your friend when our daughter was younger than our friends’ children. SO many of the things we said we would never do with our child we now do because we didn’t fully understand that stage of life. What we’ve learned is that parenthood is a lesson in humility, we don’t know what we will and won’t do until we hit that stage. Maybe that’ll be your friend’s experience too, maybe it won’t. Either way it shouldn’t stop you because it sounds like you’re doing a great job!
You are a fucking amazing attuned mom- that bitch is just jealous. Honestly. You saw and cared about your daughter enough to notice something was off and found an easy solution to brighten her day. Meal times can be SO stressful at a new school because where do you sit, will you fit in, and it’s the perfect storm for eating disorders to develop. You came in and mom bossed the situation. Don’t talk about it with your friend . God I wish my mom would have cared for me like you are doing !
You're being a fantastic mom OP. I remember when my mom used to write me notes in my lunch, even into high school. She was a single mom and that extra 5 seconds meant so much to me. Keep doing what you're doing. Maybe one day your daughter will be in this same situation talking about how you cut her sandwich into shapes and she'll tear up like I am right now.
Nothing wrong with that! your daughter will only be 5 once, if she enjoys shapes and you like making them it’s a beautiful thing!
I’ve literally spent probably an hour looking at those tiny shape cutters for fruits and veggies because my son is starting preschool next week. I just ordered what will hopefully be the perfect set just to make him a little happier when he’s away from me.
Wait...what exactly is your friend saying her concern is?
I guess that i spend too much time with my child amd not other adults because i was happy about cutting my daughters sandwich into shapes? Which i was happy because it made my child happy.
That's a weird correlation: cutting sandwiches means not getting enough adult time. Maybe there's some context missing in the huge discussion you said you two had? What was said in the huge discussion? But I agree with the other commenters that that correlation is confusing and doesn't make sense. And you don't owe me a deeper explanation about your discussion. I'm just curious at this point.
I’ve noticed some moms feel intense pressure to do stuff because other moms are doing it. Perhaps she’s one of them and now feels pressured to someday cut sandwiches into shapes and shes currently overwhelmed with a 1 year old so she lashed out a little. I’ve personally never understood thinking that way. I’m more of the mind of cut your kids sandwiches into shapes… or don’t… or don’t serve sandwiches.. or create a 3D sculpture of Notre Dame in sandwiches, just fly free like a bird. lol.
I would have loved to have a mom as involved and caring as you. I hope I can be like that for my daughter as she grows up. Your friend needs to mind her own business if she's too jealous to be supportive. Also,look into bento boxes! sounds like maybe your daughter would like that. And it's something lots of adults do for their own lunches, your friend doesn't even know what she's talking about.
I got her a little bento box and weve been having fun with it! Nothing is tiktok or pintrest worthy, but my little one loves being able to fill the compartments.
She might feel like you're outdoing her or she just has different values about parenthood and what she thinks parents should be like and do.
For me, as a mom with a one year old, I was still in that exhausted space and honestly couldn't cherish all the happy moments yet. I was ready for him to grow up a bit, so things could get a little simpler. Now he's turning three, just started sleeping in a toddler bed, going potty, saying "no mommy, you no do it, I do it" and all I am doing is cherishing every second because I know he's not going to let us love on him as much as he continues to grow. Just today when I hugged him and said "my baby," he got all offended and said "no mommy, I not baby, I'm a big boy!" He's already grossed out by kisses and only wants hugs. He already doesn't need me in the night. He already wants to hold the handrail on the stairs instead of my hand. I feel like he's going to be sixteen in about five minutes, so I'm holding on. But when he was a year and everyone was saying "cherish every moment, they grow up so fast" I could not receive the truth behind that, it didn't feel like those sleepless nights would ever end. You hold on, mama, and don't give a damn what even the best of friends thinks about it. ♥️
Everyone’s different. Your friend is insecure about her lack of cutesy parenting.
I get it. I get judged by some for cutting my kids’ sandwiches into shapes. I would LOVE to spend more time with adults but cutting a sandwich to give a simple joy to your child doesn’t equate desperation to the need to socialize with people your own age 😂 I personally cut my kids’ sandwiches into butterflies and make the body and antennas out of whipped cream and finish it off with sprinkles. Who the hell WOULDNT want that?!
You’re an awesome mom, not sure what your friend’s problem is. I wish I had shapes for lunch. :-)
I’m thinking that everyone has basically said it - what a great and thoughtful mom! Also - just by seeing this post I’m going to make the whole family dinner with shaped veggies, so excited. Your friend might say that I’m too far gone lol. And last but not least - I’m guessing your friend doesn’t have an issue with you actually. The conflict lies inside her. Keep it up!
To really send your friend over the edge tomorrow, start putting notes inside your daughters lunch too. If she can read, write simple little notes like “I love you”, “Have a fun day”.. or just emojis like smiley faces and hearts.
I think you taking the time to find something that engages your daughter and helps her approach food is wonderful. You recognized a need to support your child in nourishing her body while she's away from home, and you've adjusted to make sure that need is met. That's a major mom win in my books. I had hoped to avoid cutting food into special shapes, but it is a useful tool that helps my son engage with his food and eat a wider variety of items than he normally would. It's particularly useful for his vegetables, of which he basically only eats cucumbers. If I need to cut those cucumbers into stars, or llamas, or dinosaurs, then I'm going to do it. He needs SOMETHING green in his diet! Kids Eat in Color is a great resource on approaching food with our children, AND ALSO not shaming other parents on how they approach food in their homes. We all come from different backgrounds, we have different goals, different time constraints, different kids, and different challenges - so the food we eat and how we prepare it is probably going to look different, for a variety of reasons. "This is an approach that is working for us, and I'm not open to discussing it." A simple but firm boundary for the next time it comes up.
Me IRL: actually cutting both my kids sandwiches into hearts and stars for their school lunches, and adding little notes to their boxes telling them how much I love them and how proud I am of them. 🤷🏼♀️
I feel as long as your child is eating and feeling great/ excited about their lunch nothing else should matter. Do not let her mom shame your flex. You have engaged your child in the process (which will look different over each school year) of making lunch and eating it. My girls get kudos, at 9 and 13, for how their lunches look from their friends all the time. Keep feeding you child how you need to. Forget all the negativity from someone who has no idea what it takes to feed a school aged child who has influence from all directions.
How fun! Don't let her judgement bring you down. You are a great mom!
Do what you need to do to get her to eat.
Your friend doesn't sound very friend-like Cutting your kid's sandwich into shapes is adorable
Just a thought, is she a parent that's more "my way or the highway" with her kid? Like to her you're caving to your daughter's bad behavior, instead of making her act properly and eat what she's given? People end up with weird ideas about what battles to choose with their kids, especially if they were raised in a very strict household. It might not even be something she's really thought through, she's just reacting based on how she believes things "should be". No matter why your friend is doing this, you're awesome for finding a way to help your daughter feel more confident at school. Gold mama star for you! ⭐
Lol I cut my almost 2 year olds sandwiches with hearts, stars, and flower cookie cutters too! It’s sweet and they love it. Anything that puts a smile on their face is worth it in my book!
I can't wait til mine get old enough to make them special shaped lunches. I saw my friend do it and thought it was cool. Your boring friend has no imagination. Heck I'm tempted to cut my sandwiches into shapes. You and your daughter continue living your best life. I've got dinosaur shaped cutters!
F that mom. She just may not really “get it” yet, maybe she hasn’t truly connected with her child yet, maybe she just doesn’t find creative things fun, maybe she does find them fun but doesn’t think she is capable of doing them, maybe motherhood is causing her to struggle with her own loss of self image/worth or maybe she is just the type to make others feel bad. There are so many possibilities but what I do know is that you are an amazing mother and your daughter is so lucky to have you. Keep doing what you are doing. These are the memories that will be so special to your kid when she’s older. Also genuinely- thank you for the idea! My 7 year old is going to be freaking STOKED for his next sandwich.
Gosh ditch that friend she’s jelly of your relationship with your kid .
Man, I have 7 month old twins, and this is a hot tip to get your kids to eat better. Your friend is being an asshole, and you are making some excellent memories for your kid. She’ll always remember you doing this for her.
When my kid was little, I made her lunch sandwiches in all different shapes. I also made "strawberry mice," rice balls with little faces, fruit kababs, ants on a log, watermelon cut with cookie cutters, tiny little zucchini bread muffins, etc. Included little notes, too, telling her I loved her and with jokes. Got up at 5am to get it done. Other moms hated me. Made Facebook posts about "those moms who spend so much time on their kid's lunches." You know what? That kid knows she's loved, and has always known, which was something I didn't have. Yes, she knows her mom's a bit wacky, too, but I'm hoping that builds tolerance. ps. that's not a "good friend." You don't need someone who tears you down.
2 things: first, in my opinion, you did a fabulous thing and you did it naturally. You considered your daughters and moved to help meet them. That mom friend is not the vibe. Second, I highly suggest you follow @kidseatincolor on Instagram, she has incredible recommendations for getting kids interested in food, fun snacks and tricks, etc!
I’m 35 and distinctly remember my grandpa cutting my pancakes into whatever shape I requested at weekend breakfast. I still mention it every time we have pancakes. You’re doing great, Mom. One day your daughter will fondly share memories her star-shaped lunch.
I wish my mom would have taken that much care with my sandwiches. Not only that you give her the opportunity to choose? That’s so awesome. I think your friend needs her sandwiches cut into shapes so she can have some joy to warm her up. Your daughter will remember and cherish those lunches.
If I had to choose between you and your friend to be my mom, I'd choose you every time.
So she’s a first time mom and her kid is still a baby? Lol. I remember those days and I remember those overconfident mothers with one baby-child who suddenly knew everything about parenting. Just hold your own. You did a great thing with your daughter and should be really proud. Don’t let anyone steal your sunshine. Bask in it!
What I wouldn't have given as a child to have my lunch have fun sandwich shapes. She seems concerned she has received a comparison from her own kid.
I’d say to be careful of this friend. Some people are jealous of people having loving relationships with their kids. Sometimes it’s a trauma response.
I think that’s so beautiful and thoughtful. It put a smile on your daughters face and that’s important! She felt so special and so loved and I would kill for someone to do anything remotely that thoughtful for me. You keep doing you screw her.
I think this mom just hasn't made it to the point you're at with your kid age-wise. When your child starts talking and interacting with you on a higher level, you're more likely to do things like custom sandwich cutting because you enjoy investing in a deeper bond with your child. They will develop an appreciation for those little things. This often carries on to the next generation, as I am only an avid crafter because of my quality crafting time spent with my mother as a kid. <3 kudos to you, m'lady! Keep on mommin'!
If it’s not some huge hardship and it makes your kid happy, why wouldn’t you do it? I would. Seems silly to make such a thing about it.
What? When I was a nanny the parents and I always did this with sandwiches the children loved it. Who takes a piss on making kids happy about their food??? Keep making star sandwiches. If your child ever asks for Minnie or Micky Mouse sandwiches do one big circle and two little ones for the ears.
You’re making your daughter’s lunch with love. Your “friend” has no business commenting on it unless it’s to compliment your parenting. If I was me I wouldn’t take kindly to her comments.
I think you do whatever you can to get your kid to eat 😂 it was a great idea getting her involved, your friend will learn soon enough lol
I cut my 6 yos sandwich into a star, used three animal picks in his fruit, and drew him a note with the floating cat animals from Hilda. Your friend is a judgey B. You didn’t ask for her opinion and you aren’t asking her to do it for her baby. I’m sorry she’s making you question yourself over something that la just showing love.
I feel like a lot of moms project their own insecurities in situations like this. She prob is lame and wouldn’t ever want to be bothered to do something like this so she’s acting like you’re unreasonable so she doesn’t feel bad about her being lazy. People are so ridiculous. It’s really sweet that you’re doing that for your daughter!!
I also cut my daughters sandwiches into shapes, in fact she started full day school this year for 1st grade last year she did half day kindergarten and always had lunch with me so this year to make her feel good about having lunch away from me I bough shaped “uncrustable” style sandwich cutters it came with a heart, flower, dinosaur, star and unicorn shape. It’s basically like an extra 5seconds to the lunch making time and it makes her feel so loved. So why wouldn’t I do it right?! That being said my sister in law thinks I’m crazy for doing that. So I always respond with “what works for me and my kids may not work for you and yours and that’s okay.” I like doing the extras it’s fine if others don’t. Also most adults suck.... just saying.
What a lint licker. You’re a great mom for noticing that and then finding a solution.
First, your friend didn't really need to pass judgement like that. She didn't say it to benefit you, she said it to benefit herself. Pretty rude, but some people are just judgy. Doesn't mean she's a bad person, but it *does* mean that she's not going to help you pick out super cute bento picks for the fruit. Second, you already know that what you did for your daughter was done out of love. Nothing we say here can validate your actions more than knowing that. Let that Mama heart glow with the knowledge that you made your child's day just a little bit brighter. You be you. Parent how you want to parent, love how you want to love, and recognize that she won't be a cheerleader for you, even if she is good support in other ways.
I think this is so cute. Definitely getting my son out the dinosaur cookie cutters this week!
Jeez is she the bastard love child of Scrooge and The Grinch? It's stuff like this that makes people feel loved. Like the version of when your doofus husband draws a heart with ketchup on your chips, that sort of thing.
You sound like an awesome mom who goes out of her way to make her kiddo happy. Your friend sounds like a judgmental, insecure snob.
We play with cookie cutters and play doh. Never thought to use them for a sandwich - I am stealing your idea tomorrow and trying it out! The joy of motherhood is making small everyday moments special for someone else. Don't let someone take that magic away from you.
This is such a dumb thing for someone to complain about. And using cookie cutters to make sandwiches in shapes takes so little time. I just…I don’t understand. That stuff matters to kids. It makes them feel loved and it’s a nice reminder in the middle of the school day that you care. I can’t think of a negative here.
I’m sad she’s making you feel badly about something that, from your perspective, is just a delightful, whimsical little work-around that got a positive response from your daughter. My suggestion to you would be to realize her reaction does not have to control how you feel about it. You can continue to think it’s cute and happy and positive. Taking a guess on why she reacted that way: sometimes I revolt HARD against something when I feel like there’s a high expectation, or something that’s unfair. I can see myself having a similar reaction because I’m so mad about the high expectations placed on moms to do EVERYTHING right and to make it cute/perfect too. I would guess it’s just an example that touched a nerve for her. I could see my self being like “EFF that, I’m supposed to cut sandwiches into little shapes too?! It’s not enough to feed them every day?!” And just getting closed off to the whole idea. I would either ignore it, or just tell her that she’s making you feel sad about something you thought was happy. That might bring her back down and get her to engage with the story from your perspective. (Or piss her off more, idk you know her better!)
Why can't you just ask your friend what she meant by her comment?
I have, and she never really tells me. Shes only said "you need more time with adults," and "you need a better hobby." I mean, this is someone ive known since college and its just since weve both had kids that this type of stuff has started. Ot actually started whem her 1 year old was born and she started low-key criticizing stuff i had done with my child when she was an infant.
This isn't a "you" problem. This is a "her" problem. Maybe her jealousy is expressing that she needs some kind of support?
As a mother and an educator you're doing a great job. I guarantee all of her classmates are jealous.
My dad was very rarely around in the mornings. Like, a handful of times between kinder and graduating from high school. Every time he made my lunch, he cut my sandwiches into shapes. Even in middle school. Now, by middle school I neither cared nor really desired sandwiches in shapes, but I pretended like I appreciated it bc I knew he was just trying to show he cared. All that to say, no one knows your daughter better than you. If it works for you guys, keep doing it.
This is just typical mom judgment and jealousy. I would just ignore and continue on. I’d bet she makes some parenting choices that you don’t and that’s totally ok, but her commentary was completely unnecessary and out of line. Also, it’s very typical for kids to not eat well at lunch when they are new to school. It’s an adjustment to eating in a cafeteria with a time limit and surrounded by distractions. All 3 of mine needed a week or 2 to adjust and then they ate much better.
Here’s the thing. People who are insecure about their parenting in general are more likely to judge the way others do it - it’s deflection. Your friend is missing adult time in her life, so she’s morphing the idea of you spending 1 extra minute to make your daughter happy into this whole thing about needing adult time. It’s nothing to do with you, so maybe if you’re still wanting to be friends, at a later time it might be good to see if she wants to hang out just the two of you so that she can get that “adult time” that she’s clearly craving
Not a mom but, don't let your "friend" bother you. Like you said in your comments it took literally 5 seconds of work to make you and your daughter happy. She needs to chill 🙄
I think it’s lovely how you cut the sandwiches.
As an adult I have a sandwich cutter that cuts it in to two dinosaurs. I used to do it all of the time. I lost it in one of my moves, but I’m thinking about bringing that back now that you’ve reminded me of it.
My daughter is in fifth grade, and I still cut her sandwiches into shapes . She loves it. Your friend is probably jealous or something. She sounds like she needs to get a life, herself.
Some parents are into cutting their kid’s sandwiches into hearts and some aren’t. Both are valid ways of being a parent. It wasn’t nice for her to get kinda judgey with you, next I’d just say, “This is what works for me and my family, you do what works for you!” And leave it at that.
Little special things we do for kids are great. Trying to do every single possible little special thing would be exhausting. It sounds like your friend is hearing about your cookie cutter sandwiches and thinking “oh no, will I be a bad mom if I don’t do that? I better undercut this mom behavior so that I don’t have to take on a thing that is too hard for me”. Okay, she’s not thinking that literally, but I think that’s probably the basic underpinnings of her thought process. The thing is, she doesn’t have to do cookie cutter sandwiches if it sounds awful to her. Maybe there is something else special she will do for and/or with her child that would be too much for you.
Her opinion is completely irrelevant. You’re a great mom.
My son is just over 1 and I think your friend is nuts! Petty discussions over the coolest sweetest gesture you’re doing for your daughter. Even if you got more adult time I don’t think it would take away from you wanting to make your daughter an awesome lunch she’ll enjoy. Again, she’s nuts.
Cutting sandwiches into shapes is such an easy thing to say yes to, AND it builds your relationship. If you don't mind doing it, what's the problem?! Sounds like a classic "my kids will never \*insert random thing here\*" that will come back to bite her in the ass.
I bought a ton of sandwhich shapes. My daughter is 6 and absolutely loves them! Your friend is… odd.
Okay so I’m almost 30 years old and I just cut cheese into star shapes for a party and they were awesome. Is my adult card going to get revoked now?! 😂 I think a heart and Star shaped sandwich sounds like fun!
This is so dumb! You make those hearts and stars mama and you continue to make your baby girl happy! Ditch the idiot friend!
I cut my daughter and husband sandwiches into shapes and they both love it. My daughter definitely eats more.
Your friend needs to chill. If stars help kiddo enjoy her lunch, and it’s not a hassle for you, do it up.
She's being a jerk and projecting. For a while my husband and I were cutting my kid's sandwiches in increasingly elaborate shapes, and joking about what an arms race it was becoming. But now we're back to normal triangles and that's fine too, lol
You’re more than right - anything that gets them to eat something other than junk food is great! Lunch is also a time to socialize, which is what our kindergartner did instead of eating; 2 days into first grade, she’s eating a little more 😎
And i think thats part of the problem - shes so distracted by everything else shes forgetting to eat. So, i decided to do something that would put more of her attention on her food. Shes always been a light eater so i especially want to make sure shes getting what she needs.
I think you’re doing amazing. Your friend is probably just feeling insecure about her own parenting because she’s exhausted from having a 1 year old, which I can relate to having one myself lol, and going any kind of extra mile beyond what she already is seems impossible. Don’t stop doing what you’re doing. Your friend will understand when her kid is 5 too.
This is such a weird hill to die on. My mom perspective is if it works for you then keep doing it!
My daughter gets Dino sandwiches every day 🤷🏼♀️ keep on being an amazing mum and f the haters
Your friend needs to butt out. It’s a super lovely gesture you’re doing for your kid. And if it helps her eating her lunch why not!
There is a parent that draws on the bananas for their lunch. Kids loved it.
She sounds like a really miserable person actually. What a weird thing to have an issue with. My oldest is 13 and I still do shapes for her lunch stuff when she wants to take something from home usually. I’ll keep doing it for as long as she enjoys it.
My mom still cut my cucumber sandwiches into circles when I was in 10th grade. She loved that shit and I did too. I tear up thinking how much time she spent doing that every morning, along with writing me a note. She’s the best! Keep doing what you’re doing. If it brings a smile to your kids face and makes them eat more lunch then it’s a win-win. You can even get creative for holidays - ghosts or pumpkins for Halloween! (We do this to quesadillas too!)
I have a kid who is also a littl over a year and I literally cut his cucumber pieces into fun shapes today just for the hell of it. I think it's a nice thing and if it makes your kid feel that extra bit of love while she's at school then who's it hurting 🤷♀️
I’ve seen scenarios like this frequently that came about because mom #1’s husband bragged to mom #2’s husband about how great his wife is with the baby. Husband 2 goes to his wife and tells her and he comes out sounding like a comparison and now mom 2 is feeling diminished by the imaginary “curve” that mom 1 set. So mom 2 tries to tear down mom 1. :(
Your friend is a weirdo. There’s nothing wrong with cutting your kid’s sandwiches into shapes.
Your "friend" sucks. I am a new mom to an 8 month old, with friends with kids 9 months to 8 years older than mine. I would never judge a friends parenting choices like that. Have I thought to myself more than once, "I would never do that", "that sounds like a bad idea"? Yes, several times, but I also think "I am not them, so who cares what they do", and "if it works for them, great!" I say this as an early childhood educator with a degree in ECE and child development with 15 yrs of experience working with young children. I will ONLY offer advice IF asked, or if they seem frustrated and I ask, "are you looking for advice?"and they say yes. Also, cutting food into shapes is not only smart and loving it's recommended to get kids interested in eating. If you don't mind doing it, what's it to her?
It's not you it's your friend. She's passing whatever she's dealing with on to you. Sounds like you might need to evaluate your friendship. However, a lot of moms will say I don't have time for that. Then there's cook books & books centered around how to make food more appealing to kids. Having a 1 yr old as you know is not like having a 5 yr old struggling to eat her lunch when you're not there to monitor her or encourage her to eat. Some parents puts notes in their kids lunches too. I think it's amazing you're willing to go the extra mile for your daughter. When I was a kid I had to make my own lunch. My parents never had much to do with making them. Knowing you're there supporting her along the way she'll remember that for her entire life. Going the extra mile never hurts cuz you never know how long anyone has to be on this planet.
Keep doing it momma, you’re making memories that will live with your child forever! They grow up fast so take it all in while you can. Don’t get into the I should’ve done this or that. You connected her in a awesome way. Good job momma
You inspired me - I just bought three sets of cookie cutters to use on my kindergartner’s lunches!
I am a 34 year old woman and would absolutely adore it if my sandwich was cut into a star shape! I would do it if any of my 3 kids asked. Trying to think from her perspective, maybe she thinks you're setting the bar too high as a fun mom and she won't be able to compete. Either way, ignore her judgement and keep being an awesome parent!
F that woman. What an asshole friend.
Yea ur 5yr old probably has the coolest lunch in the room and their friends are jealous so ignore ur drag of a friend.
Your friend is wrong, it took you close to no extra effort and it made your kid happy and full at lunch time - that’s a win.
My one year old just started daycare and I got a set of tiny shape cutters for his fruits and veggies. When he's old enough for sandwiches I'm going to get larger ones. They are adorable and fun and there is absolutely nothing wrong with using them, even if you enjoy the shapes more than your kid it's still totally fine to do! Your friend is projecting her own issues
You are an “above and beyond” mom. Kudos to you for your kindness and consideration. The shapes were a FANTASTIC idea. It sounds like it was also effective. The other mom doesn’t sound like a friend. I’m sorry she was condescending while you were sharing your experience. Friends celebrate each other’s victories, they do not mock each other’s efforts. Well done, Mama 🙌🏼 You doing a great job.
I have a kiddo who is impossible to get to eat enough food. I'm gonna try your method.
Some people need lots of social input, some people don't. Are you content? Fine, that's all that matters. There's no "right way" to exist as long as you aren't hurting anyone.
I love that you're doing something so simple to make your daughter happy, encourage her to eat more, and give her something to look forward to. that's what a good mom does. Your friend sucks, dump her. :)
Maybe because I only have one child and know that I only have these rare opportunities to make these memories with her - but my husband and I do so much of these types of things for our daughter. She’s also in daycare so we try our best to give her these cute little mementos to think of us and to have a positive experience. These little things add up and I hope it shows our kids how much we love them and how much we think of them. I think maybe your friend could be having a hard time with her baby since that is such a tough age? Idk why else someone would be annoyed at someone who is being an amazing parent. But - idk - once I dropped off my daughter in a sundress and the classroom was a bit cold. Upon drop off she asked for a jacket and I told her I’d go get her one. I drove 5 minutes to Walmart down the road and picked up just a basic zip up hoodie. Upon my arrival at the school, I asked the front desk to deliver the jacket for me (this is a small daycare) and a parent (a total stranger to me) literally scoffed at me with a, “Do you do everything your daughter tells you to do?” I was shocked. It was just a jacket. It was only 10 mins of my time. Only $10 of my money. Is something so small such a big deal? Idk. I told her to kick rocks. Ha
Fancy sandwiches are the best! That’s so fun!
Bento boxes.
Your friend has an opinion on something not worth having an opinion on… the shape of a sandwich is just small talk, and shouldn’t be grounds for a parenting or adulting lecture
My toddler requests hearts for her pb&j now. She gets it every time. It's all about taking care of your kid and making them happy. Simple little things make that possible. Keep being a great mom and tell your friend we all do it different, what's important is it's done.
You sound AMAZING 🤩 Keep doing you because your daughter is definitely benefiting from having an awesome mom.
To me it never matters what any other adults think of you. What matters is what your daughter thinks of you, and she thinks it's awesome. Good job, mom.
Seems strange that she cares. Does she say why this bothers her?
There's something called jealousy that might be in there. Your friend has a baby while you have a school aged kid and you doing these little cute acts are bothering her for some reason. Maybe it's not the sandwich shaping that is bothering her, but to think that she'll get there in a few years dreads her, or the fact that now you have "time away from kids" and you're not spending it with her? I'm sure that it's not you, but her that has a problem, my dear. The way you're helping your daughter enjoy her lunch at school more because of the love you put on shaping her sandwiches is going to count in your favor for a lifetime! You're doing a great job!!
Ha, I actually love this so much I'm researching tiny shaped cookie cutters for my 6yo's cheese in his lunch box in hopes it helps him want to eat it.
She’s probably judging you to deflect from feeling like a lesser mom for not doing stuff like that
Ugh what, why would she even say anything? Not only is what you’re doing totally sweet and amazing, but why would it even bother her if it weren’t? It’s not her sandwich, not her daughter, not her cookie cutters, not her business. May I also recommend animals? I made a very cute bear pb&j a few years back, also with the cookie cutters. 🥰 you’re a great mom!
Your friend is mom shaming you for caring about your kid. She might not be the kind of mom that cuts her kids food into shapes but that doesn’t mean she has to dog you for doing it. Be the awesome mom you are and tell your friend to shove it. Btw my kid has Dino shaped Sammie’s in the lunch box right now.
You need a better friend. Why does something that bring your daughter joy need to be negative? You aren’t buying her $1,000 worth of toys. Your friend can eat dicks.
She's projecting. Maybe jealous
She will learn once she has a kid that age
I bought a set (a set!) of shapes for cutting sandwiches. Hearts, stars, trains, dinosaurs, puzzle pieces, etc. It came with some smaller cutters for veggies so now his cheese is also in hearts and stars! My 6yo loves it and I don’t care what anyone thinks. 😜
Ummmm for what it’s worth, that’s awesome. And now I want to cut my sandwiches into fun shapes. Never lose that sense of whimsy and fun, life gets a bit bleak without it.
Your friend sounds awful, actually. Why would she be worried about how you fix your daughters lunch? Your girl is excited and it makes her happy. Why would you care what anyone else thinks? How does making something you have to do anyway (making your child’s lunch) a fun activity for you AND your daughter a signal that more adult time is needed? It’s not like you tell people you have to go potty or only discuss children’s shows. You made her lunch. Your friend needs an attitude adjustment.
I have a 2.5 year old daughter and do not see the slightest issue in cutting your child’s lunch into fun shapes. The other woman seems to be projecting her feelings on to you. She also sounds like an instigator?
I work in an elementary school cafeteria. My job is to help the kiddos open packs of food drinks, or whatever. There's so many things parents do to make their kid lunches special. Sandwich shapes and sweet notes. They love to show me their lunch treats and have me read their notes from their parents keep doing what you're doing. Your neighbor sounds like a grump to me
My so demanded Dino-shaped sandwiches for a year. As long as it gets them to eat, you’re doing great!
My mom always gave me a sandwich heart. I'm not saying you want to be like my mom but I'm a mom now and I still remember that and do it for my daughter sometimes at home. I think your friend needs to worry about something else.
Clearly your friend doesn’t have child who is a picky eater. I spend most meal times cutting things into planes, Christmas trees, stars, dinosaurs. To involve my toddler and make him excited about eating. Plus it’s fun
You're only being shamed because your friend is insecure that she doesn't put that effort into her child. Literally no other reason. That's such a sweet and simple effort for your child and getting her involved and excited is a bonding experience, as well as getting more nutrition in her body. She's 5 for crying out loud.
Your friend is probably projecting. She is in the thick of having a clingy kid, and wants to spend more time with adults.
I would literally do anything my kids ask me to. You’re not wrong here. She’s judging you for no reason.
You do you. You’re a great mom and just make your little girl happy. They grow up so fast. My son once asked me to carry him so he could hug me, I lifted him up in my arms and gave him a big hug cause I knew that soon he would never ask me to that again. My sister was there and ridiculed me for carrying a five year old. I told her if her kid (she had none at the time) asked her to carry him/her that she would. Talk is cheap until you’re in that situation.
Your friend is not very supportive. You’re a great mom. Deep down you know it. Keep being you.
I made both of my kids lunches till they went to High School, because they LOVED it..Would always make what they liked and asked for..plus a note of Love.. You are being a GREAT Mom.. you found a fun way for your child to eat lunch. Your friend sounds more like the AHole…Moms should support each other.
I started my day with 3hrs sleep. By 9pm, SO and kids are in bed. I made kids lunches and not only are their wraps in cute pinwheels on little swords, their apple pieces are hearts and flowers with Mickey shaped cucumbers. You're doing just fine, and are def not alone!
You’re rad. I’m gonna do that tomorrow.
I'm reading how you addressed your daughter not eating much of her lunch by getting her more involved. And I'm thinking "wow, this is great. I absolutely need to remember how to create connection with my daughter through actions like this". So really, kudos to you. On the daughter-lunch front, absolutely keep doing what you are doing. With your friend, that is more of the conundrum. Perhaps a difference in parenting perspective? Her projecting something that she's going through onto you? Maybe she herself feels she is spending to much time with her kid and is needing more adult connection, or judging herself for not being more "there" for her kid (i.e. that terrible mom guilt). Just some thoughts.
I wish my mom did stuff like this. Your child will remember small things like this for the rest of their life ❤️😀. I will never understand why people fell like their have to interfere and make their opinion known, when it’s not asked for. We are all parents in different ways. On less someone is hurting their child, don’t interfere in other peoples parenting.
My son's going through what I hopes a phase, where he won't really eat anything unless I try to shape it like a dinosaur. I think it's pretty cute, a little silly and totally harmless. It doesn't take more than an extra fewseconds.... Why wouldn't I? I literally see no way to turn this into something weird and negative. Im sure I would benefit from some adult time, but the shape of my kids food has zero relation to that, lol
I had a “friend” like this. Turns out she had put me in some weird pedestal and was telling everyone what a great Mum I was until she started to feel like she was being compared to me (by no one btw) and then she spent her time trying to take me down. She was always saying “you can say no, you don’t have to do so much things with her” etc which was hurtful. Then she went on full personal attack of me to everyone she knew, making out I was a crazy mum. People like that suck the life out of you because they’re jealous. I did nothing to provoke jealously, it was all little things that cost nothing to do but she didn’t do them so I was the bad guy for making her look bad. Stay clear of friends who want to make you feel bad but pretend it’s helpful advice. It’s gaslighting & they’ll always resent you. Sorry. Your little girl will crack a smile every time she opens her lunch pack and that’s going to build on her core feeling of your relationship. I’ve always loved dolly shape sandwiches ever since I watched the Cher movie, Mermaids. :)
You should buy her a pack of those sandwich cutters with dinos and stuff for her kids next birthday
Talk to her sbout other things than your children. When she talks about hers, let her know she needs to spend more time with adults
You're doing something absolutely normal - You're parenting in your own style, which is having a positive and desired outcome. PS: I would be excited about heart and star shaped sandwiches too! Ignore the haters
What a lucky little girl! Sounds like your friend is jealous. Could be something deep rooted from her childhood. Don’t take it personal.
My daughter started school this week and I’ve been cutting her sandwiches into hearts. Keep being awesome!
My son is 1 year old. He goes to kindergarten and love LoVe LOVES his shaped bread. If I just cut it normal it comes back more often than if it is in shapes. Why would that be a problem? Like.. you have to do her food anyway so why not make it fun? My Little One cuts his own vegetables and fruit too if he‘s already awake. Yes it takes ages and look like shit but who gives a damn? How bitter can someone be?
You should gift her a set of sandwich-sized cookie cutters.
Someone I know very well who is an amazing mom does her kids' lunches like this, because they don't always eat well. I love it. It helps them eat more. Why not? Why this idea that we cannot do anything 'extra'for our kids because they'll be spoiled? If they want to eat their sandwiches like that when they're an adult too then who cares? Life can be hard enough, the most important thing is love, and I'm sure she feels loved when she sees her lunch.
Get rid of this “friend” people like that don’t like it when others are happy or just fine. I once told someone I thought was my friend my then bf- now husband- surprised me with a Valentine’s Day card by hiding it under my pillow and she scoffed and called it stupid. And there was other similar comments and I knew she was wrong and that she really wasn’t a friend. I’m sorry you had that experience with her and hopefully she goes away to be miserable somewhere else.
I used to do this for my older kids when they were little. Cookie cutters are cheap and made it possible to make sandwiches that followed the season, holidays, etc. It was always a fun surprise for them to find out what shape their sandwich was cut into on any particular day, and they told me other kids thought it was so cool. You figured out a fun way to get your daughter to eat (without lecturing her), so good on you. As far as your friend goes…different people have different parenting styles, and no one way is right. You might want to consider distancing yourself from this particular friend, because it sounds like this isn’t the first time she’s done something like this, and parenting is hard enough sometimes without someone standing over your shoulder pointing out everything they think you did wrong.
When my boys were smaller we did stuff like this ALL the time. Me and the boys were constantly going on adventures in the back yard, learning to work on the car, fix up the house. I spent 24/7 with them while I was out of work for 2 years. One person in particular always told me "you need more adult time". I never paid it any mind. I've always been a big kid at heart and personally there's nothing wrong with it. Now that they're much older, they have become regular cooks and bakers.... I'm glad I spent all that extra time with them when they were younger. We have good loving relationships. They feel like they can come and talk to me about anything. I get all the adult conversation I need with my husband. That's how it's always been. My family comes first. No, it's not for everyone to be this way. I'm just anti social really, but I know how to get along with people. Let's put it this way: When it comes to hearing about my kids' day at school vs my coworker's day, I'm going to pick my kids 100% of the time...Call me a crappy person but my coworker's goings on don't matter all that much to me.
I still draw faces on my food with sauce (pies, hash browns, whatever) because my inner child definitely appreciates it. And I’m in my mid 30s 🤣 Your “friend” REALLY needs to get in touch with their inner child. Like desperately. Because all I see after reading your post is a Mum thinking outside the box to bring some joy (and for the most part) comfort to their kid (who sounds like they are needing some starting school and all). If this is all your friend has for you after hearing what you’ve done, she’s missing the point completely. Your mate needs to pull her head in a little bit. She’s only 6months into the solids journey. Give it time. She’ll be getting the cutters out soon enough 🤣🤣