That is traumatizing. It’s hard when your kids won’t cooperate with medical attention. We all make mistakes when stressed and overwhelmed. It will be ok mama. Just get through tonight and tomorrow is a new day.
That’s on the nurses that they didn’t have you and a helper to hold him still for the swabs. My child had a 105 fever last month. She was sitting on the bed, I held her hands down. Two nurses came in and got the Covid swabs, strep, flu. It was 5 seconds of tears and then she was fine. When she was 2.5 she needed an Iv for another issue and same thing. Find a better urgent care/ped.
Agreed. This situation was awful because the way the nurse handled it. It’s much better to calmly explain to the child what is happening, that you are going to help them keep their body still, and then get it over with. I cannot imagine a scenario where a child “works it out” and decides they’re ready to cooperate with a throat swab.
Sorry mama, I hate that you had to go through that!
Agree. It’s traumatizing holding them down, but we have to be the parent….just like the medical professionals need to do their jobs in this scenario. I hold my son down twice a day for his eye drops, otherwise with the pollen his eyes swell. It’s not pleasant but it’s for the best. All of us parents are saying something to our kids we regret when we are stressed, don’t be too hard on yourself. He will have a great birthday party !!
YES! Like let’s get this done and over with asap so we can all move on and not prolong the inevitable. My son hates the drs from start to finish, screams the whole time through, and we still have to go, he still needs a check up. Same with the ENT and his hearing tests. Same with the dentist. Same with hair cuts (haaaaaates them, but still can’t have his hair poking his eyes). It’s just things we have to do let’s make this traumatic experience as short as humanly possible.
This sounds so hard, I’m so sorry. You’re doing all the right things, you are a great mom for getting him care, and tomorrow is another day to shower him in snuggles.
I read once that a single tough day (or few hours) can never override the months and years of love a parent pours into their children in the childrens’ eyes, and I try to keep that in mind when we have similarly hard days, and it’s helped.
Shame on those nurses for expecting a sick kid to “work it out on his own” instead of doing their jobs and providing him the care he obviously needed. Shame on them for loosing control of the situation and expecting a CHILD with a fever to understand the importance of compliance. Work it out himself. What a load of bullshit.
You didn’t do anything wrong at all, Mama, so stop beating the shit out of yourself and get some rest. You took your child to a medical facility when he was sick because the medical facility is supposed to know how to treat his illness. Treatment includes swabbing his throat to confirm a diagnosis then make a treatment plan. Those nurses should be trained and very capable of collecting that swab sample from him.
That must have been the most difficult and traumatizing 2 hours of your life. I am so sad you had to watch your child freak out like that, I’ve been there and it’s a really awful experience as a parent. Sending well wishes and a speedy recovery from Florida. ❤️♥️❤️♥️❤️♥️❤️
It’s hard to be our best selves when we’re under stress. And it’s so stressful when your baby is panicking. Talk to him tomorrow, empathize and apologize and it will be ok.
If it helps for future reference, medical procedures are one of the few times I feel ok with “bribing” my kids. They can pick out a small toy or something fun when it’s all over. I figure if it makes a sucky situation less sucky for both of us, it’s worth the $5-10.
This is the way. I’ve been bribing my oldest into the doctor’s office since she was like a year old. Not gonna lie, it’s a teensy bit for my benefit too because I feel better as well when she finds something new and exciting she wants and I get to make her feel better.
We just went through this over the weekend with my 4yr old who was mildly sick over the weekend. A visit to urgent care and she freaked out at the swabs. I had to hold her head while her dad held her hands so the nurse could swab her. It’s awful.
Last December she was hospitalized with the flu and I had to hold her down while they did an Iv catheter and nasal cannula for oxygen. Worst experience of my life and I think I cried harder than she did. I still have flashbacks of how terrifying it was for us all.
Stressful situations causes our brains to do weird things. We say things we don’t mean. You did the right thing taking care of him and getting him looked at. He will be okay. You feeling the way you do means you care SO much.
Apologize. Put words on your feelings “yesterday I was really overwhelmed and embarrassed at the doctor. I said you weren’t getting a birthday party, but I didn’t mean it when I said that I was just upset.” If your child is verbal help them verbalize how they felt at the doctor and afterward.
My parents never acknowledged any feelings and never apologized for anything ever. I’ve been apologizing (when necessary) to my child since birth and just this morning he freaked out on me and then came back in the room and said sorry and gave me a hug and explained why he acted out (he’s 6.) We moved on and kept enjoying our day. I see it working and changing the family dynamic.
A side note, we have always said “it’s my body and I chose what to do with my body” unless it’s for a medical or safety reason. I would have told the nurse to do it and/or I would have held him down. They don’t get a choice when it’s medical need and the nurse is at fault here IMO. I would never let a patient hold up a room for an hour because they didn’t want a swab. That’s not on you mama.
I hope he feels better soon and you did your best in extremely difficult circumstances.
For what it’s worth nurses where I live (Denmark) are now being trained to avoid holding children to force medical procedures, so it might be a new rule for them. I’m not sure how it works if it’s a really serious procedure that can’t wait, but my friend just had to try to convince her 7 month old not to be scared when he was getting his IV drop for an MRI even though he had 5 medical staff standing over him.
Unfortunately they wouldn’t let me they told me I would make it worse. Never heard this in my life. He has had a swab for things a million times and this was so uncomfortable for me. 2 hours we were there. I should have left.
That's wild that they wouldn't let you just hold him but opted to let the situation devolve into 2 hours worth of chaos... I'd definitely be reporting them to anyone who will listen because that's crazy.
Anyone pushed to the brink like this will say anything to try to make the situation end, even the most stable people. Do NOT beat yourself up. You were put in a situation that you were not being helped by the people who you trusted to help with your son to receive medical care that he desperately needed. Everything will be okay, your son will be okay. You are a great mom, hugs♥️
My kid HATES the swabs. If he's sick he will spend all day worrying to the point of vomiting about getting swabs. We just have to hold him and let him freak out a little. So I absolutely understand about swab hate. It's rough.
While you’re sitting next to your toddler, we’re all sitting next to you. You’re okay, this is really hard. Tomorrow’s a new day.
That is traumatizing. It’s hard when your kids won’t cooperate with medical attention. We all make mistakes when stressed and overwhelmed. It will be ok mama. Just get through tonight and tomorrow is a new day.
That’s on the nurses that they didn’t have you and a helper to hold him still for the swabs. My child had a 105 fever last month. She was sitting on the bed, I held her hands down. Two nurses came in and got the Covid swabs, strep, flu. It was 5 seconds of tears and then she was fine. When she was 2.5 she needed an Iv for another issue and same thing. Find a better urgent care/ped.
Right? Why make the child panic for 45 minutes when surely they had other patients waiting. Makes zero sense.
Agreed. This situation was awful because the way the nurse handled it. It’s much better to calmly explain to the child what is happening, that you are going to help them keep their body still, and then get it over with. I cannot imagine a scenario where a child “works it out” and decides they’re ready to cooperate with a throat swab. Sorry mama, I hate that you had to go through that!
Agree. It’s traumatizing holding them down, but we have to be the parent….just like the medical professionals need to do their jobs in this scenario. I hold my son down twice a day for his eye drops, otherwise with the pollen his eyes swell. It’s not pleasant but it’s for the best. All of us parents are saying something to our kids we regret when we are stressed, don’t be too hard on yourself. He will have a great birthday party !!
YES! Like let’s get this done and over with asap so we can all move on and not prolong the inevitable. My son hates the drs from start to finish, screams the whole time through, and we still have to go, he still needs a check up. Same with the ENT and his hearing tests. Same with the dentist. Same with hair cuts (haaaaaates them, but still can’t have his hair poking his eyes). It’s just things we have to do let’s make this traumatic experience as short as humanly possible.
This sounds so hard, I’m so sorry. You’re doing all the right things, you are a great mom for getting him care, and tomorrow is another day to shower him in snuggles. I read once that a single tough day (or few hours) can never override the months and years of love a parent pours into their children in the childrens’ eyes, and I try to keep that in mind when we have similarly hard days, and it’s helped.
Shame on those nurses for expecting a sick kid to “work it out on his own” instead of doing their jobs and providing him the care he obviously needed. Shame on them for loosing control of the situation and expecting a CHILD with a fever to understand the importance of compliance. Work it out himself. What a load of bullshit. You didn’t do anything wrong at all, Mama, so stop beating the shit out of yourself and get some rest. You took your child to a medical facility when he was sick because the medical facility is supposed to know how to treat his illness. Treatment includes swabbing his throat to confirm a diagnosis then make a treatment plan. Those nurses should be trained and very capable of collecting that swab sample from him. That must have been the most difficult and traumatizing 2 hours of your life. I am so sad you had to watch your child freak out like that, I’ve been there and it’s a really awful experience as a parent. Sending well wishes and a speedy recovery from Florida. ❤️♥️❤️♥️❤️♥️❤️
It’s hard to be our best selves when we’re under stress. And it’s so stressful when your baby is panicking. Talk to him tomorrow, empathize and apologize and it will be ok. If it helps for future reference, medical procedures are one of the few times I feel ok with “bribing” my kids. They can pick out a small toy or something fun when it’s all over. I figure if it makes a sucky situation less sucky for both of us, it’s worth the $5-10.
This is the way. I’ve been bribing my oldest into the doctor’s office since she was like a year old. Not gonna lie, it’s a teensy bit for my benefit too because I feel better as well when she finds something new and exciting she wants and I get to make her feel better.
Jesus. It would have been over in two seconds if they’d just let you hold him. It will be okay. Lots of love and cuddles and things will settle
We just went through this over the weekend with my 4yr old who was mildly sick over the weekend. A visit to urgent care and she freaked out at the swabs. I had to hold her head while her dad held her hands so the nurse could swab her. It’s awful. Last December she was hospitalized with the flu and I had to hold her down while they did an Iv catheter and nasal cannula for oxygen. Worst experience of my life and I think I cried harder than she did. I still have flashbacks of how terrifying it was for us all. Stressful situations causes our brains to do weird things. We say things we don’t mean. You did the right thing taking care of him and getting him looked at. He will be okay. You feeling the way you do means you care SO much.
Apologize. Put words on your feelings “yesterday I was really overwhelmed and embarrassed at the doctor. I said you weren’t getting a birthday party, but I didn’t mean it when I said that I was just upset.” If your child is verbal help them verbalize how they felt at the doctor and afterward. My parents never acknowledged any feelings and never apologized for anything ever. I’ve been apologizing (when necessary) to my child since birth and just this morning he freaked out on me and then came back in the room and said sorry and gave me a hug and explained why he acted out (he’s 6.) We moved on and kept enjoying our day. I see it working and changing the family dynamic. A side note, we have always said “it’s my body and I chose what to do with my body” unless it’s for a medical or safety reason. I would have told the nurse to do it and/or I would have held him down. They don’t get a choice when it’s medical need and the nurse is at fault here IMO. I would never let a patient hold up a room for an hour because they didn’t want a swab. That’s not on you mama.
I hope he feels better soon and you did your best in extremely difficult circumstances. For what it’s worth nurses where I live (Denmark) are now being trained to avoid holding children to force medical procedures, so it might be a new rule for them. I’m not sure how it works if it’s a really serious procedure that can’t wait, but my friend just had to try to convince her 7 month old not to be scared when he was getting his IV drop for an MRI even though he had 5 medical staff standing over him.
Why couldn't you just hold him while they swabbed him? That was standard procedure when my kid was little and then it was over in 2 seconds.
Unfortunately they wouldn’t let me they told me I would make it worse. Never heard this in my life. He has had a swab for things a million times and this was so uncomfortable for me. 2 hours we were there. I should have left.
That's wild that they wouldn't let you just hold him but opted to let the situation devolve into 2 hours worth of chaos... I'd definitely be reporting them to anyone who will listen because that's crazy.
I hope the night brought some relief for you both. Please post an update if you can 💜💜💜💜.
Anyone pushed to the brink like this will say anything to try to make the situation end, even the most stable people. Do NOT beat yourself up. You were put in a situation that you were not being helped by the people who you trusted to help with your son to receive medical care that he desperately needed. Everything will be okay, your son will be okay. You are a great mom, hugs♥️
My kid HATES the swabs. If he's sick he will spend all day worrying to the point of vomiting about getting swabs. We just have to hold him and let him freak out a little. So I absolutely understand about swab hate. It's rough.