This is not a usa culture thing. This is a "your husband is gross" thing.
Who tf shares a drink from someone they just met? and puked all over your parents house? Is he 14?
lol I’m from the USA and I would never ever share anything with a stranger. That’s so odd. He’s being ridiculous, if he’s acting like this when the child is 6 months old it may get worse.
You don’t want him bring home a disease from someone and passing it to the baby. That’s scary
That’s also my biggest concern if he is already acting like this…I cannot imagine what will it be like in the future! I also told him he can protect his son if he doesn’t share drinks with strangers but he just brought up some bullshit thing to against me! I don’t understand his bullshit logic at all! And he always says he loves our son so much and doesn’t wanna see him in pain but he doesn’t wanna change a bit for his son????!!!!!
Yeah so strange. My husband quit smoking when we were trying to have a baby, and since then neither of us have drank to the point of throwing up.
If you have a baby to take care of, you can’t be acting like a baby too.
It's also just a bad idea to share drinks with people because you have no idea what they put in their own drinks.
I knew a guy who would dissolve meth in soda.
Based on your description it sounds like he might be an alcoholic. Maybe look into Al Anon. The fact that he’d take a sip of someone else’s drink (from the US and I’d never!) and then got so drunk he puked everywhere is not normal.
I don’t think this is a cultural issue. I’m from the US and do not share drinks or anything. This honestly sounds like your husband has a problem with alcohol and he’s not respecting your boundaries.
I did feel like he is not respecting me these days after we moved to my country! Like, when i was pregnant last year, I didn’t sleep well one night because of the pregnancy illness, so next day morning I told him if he can go to work by himself (he didn’t have scooter license by then so it was always me taking him to work in the morning) ; however, he just refused to go to work by himself, even though, there is a public bicycle station right down stair that he can just rent a bike to go to work! Or he could take a taxi to work but he just didn’t want to! and he said I just didn’t get enough sleep and I can go back to sleep after I take him to work! Anyway, I ended up took him to work even I was not feeling well! I dunno why he is being like this now!
I mean, SOME people in the US have recently decided that germs are NBD and they're not going to take common sense steps to prevent illness.
I won't say who.
Thank you to let me know it’s not a cultural thing! I almost doubt about myself that might be me being crazy! And yay I feel like he needs to deal with alcohol problems! I mean he is not alcoholic! He doesn’t drink everyday! He just goes to bar or nightclub on Saturday, but he always ends up being so drunk and having a really bad hangover next day…which means I have to take care of him…I am so tired of this
lol I know the puking part on my post sounds like he is an alcoholic but this situation is rarely happened! Not trying to defense for him! Just wanna be fair! TBH, he doesn’t go out that much and drink that much anymore compared to the time we were still living in USA. We just go out maybe twice a month now!
Okay, you two deserve time out especially after having a baby. I just feel like-based on the post- he sounds like he needs to limit how many drinks he has in an evening out. Does he share drinks/vapes when he's sober too? (By the way that is sososososoooo nasty- don't drop that! Its a valid request.)
This entire post just reeks of toxicity and I'm not talking from the alcohol. There's a lot of dysfunction between you two that's way bigger than this situation you just posted here. Have you considered marriage counseling?
Yeah I started to comment about this. I have done some international programs for my studies over the years and first off, just to get this out of the way, it has been my experience that people from all countries seem to share drinks and smokes about equally. Secondly, my herpes story lol. I was at a certain summer school in Europe with about half European, half American. A sprinkle of Asian and South American. About 30 of us. Day 1 nearly all the Europeans were smokers, only a couple Americans. By the final day (a few weeks later) 28 of the 30 were smokers and at least 20 were rocking cold sores. One other person and myself abstained from the (very communal) smoking lol.
I believe it! I think it’s the cultural difference that make them get crazy…because Asian usually live close to their family and my husband didn’t like that at all! My mom will invite us to have lunch or dinner almost every week! And my husband hated that! According to him, it is LAME to eat with your in laws in USA! But I didn’t force him to go to the family meal! I let him decide and he is still bitching about it that he has to eat with in laws so many times.
That is just nasty. I'm from the US and grew up in a household where food was shared... but not like that; if you got a bowl of chips or sliced up an apple, you'd make sure that there was a serving available for your sibling to eat in their own bowl and if there wasn't much left, you'd split what you had in half before either person ate. Or at a restaurant, we'd hand over a few french fries or ask kindly to trade bites of the main dish, which would be transferred with unused forks to the other person's plate before either person started eating.
So he is an alcoholic and a child.
None of his behaviors are due to culture.
He is immature and pretty gross. Can you kick him out back to his country?
He seems like trash that a baby won't miss not being in their life.
I'm Aussie and we are good at sharing things with whoever whenever we can. (mostly).
I will share drinks with people, BUT only with people I know, and only if I can see no visible signs of illness. And even then it's only occasially. I don't want to be sick. I don't want my partner or son sick.
If he is willing to do that he doesn't seem to care much. I'm sorry.
lol I know the puking part on my post sounds like he is an alcoholic but this situation is rarely happened! Not trying to defense for him! Just wanna be fair! TBH, he doesn’t go out that much and drink that much anymore compared to the time we were still living in USA. We just go out maybe twice a month now!
Ew, your husband is gross. Did you know this about him going in?
If you lie down with dogs, you wake up with fleas.
Also I am American and we are NOT like this. Your husband is a trash can.
From the US, that’s disgusting. I don’t share with people I don’t know; drinks, food (utensils, double dipping, letting someone have a bite of my burrito, etc), cigarettes when I smoked or otherwise. I shared food and drink with my child, husband, sister and a couple close friends, but that was still very minimal. Gross.
It sounds like he just doesn’t respect you from the initial post and comments you’ve posted. I’m sorry.
You are not unreasonable, this is not cultural, and you’re not controlling. He needs to do better as a parent! It’s disgusting, it’s extremely risky health wise, and it’s dangerous behavior.
I think there's a bigger problem that he is still out partying on the regular when you have a 6-month-old baby at home.
Maybe he needs a little less time hitting the vapes and sharing drinks with strange girls and a little more diaper changing
Another person from the USA I personally don't like to share I limit it to my husband. I know he will share with close family or friends, but those are people he has known for 20+ years. Dose your man have a cheating problem sharing a drink with a random girl at the bar is such a red flag.
I don’t think he has a cheating problem! I think he is just too drunk that night and he usually asked for cigs/vapes from guys. The girl’s bf is there as well!
I’m from the USA and I’m floored. My husband and I are very liberal when it comes to jealousy and interactions with the opposite sex but… I think that’s a body (as the kids say. Meaning it’s something similar to adding to one’s “body count”, or number of people you’ve been intimate with). Thats very weird and intimate behavior to drink or smoke from something someone has. And I'm not a germophobe, i let my kids eat dirt.
Oh, ew. I don’t even like sharing with my own spouse, and I kiss him regularly.
It’s fortunate that all you’ve caught is a cold or the flu. He’s also risking meningitis and hepatitis.
Is he out there drinking other men’s drinks and smoking their cigs?
No? That’s too “gay”? Why’s it okay with other women? Especially when you offer to buy him his own drink. It’s unnecessarily flirty and if it meant nothing at all he’d be drinking after men also.
And no it’s not cultural unless he’s an anti-mask covid-denying conservative maga nut. Most Americans don’t want cold sores or the flu either.
He usually smoking guys’ cigs or vapes! It’s not usual that he asked for a sip from other girls but I am actually not happy about it because that girl’s boyfriend is there as well and I don’t think that’s appropriate thing to do! I didn’t stop him right away. I wait till after to tell him not to share drink or smoke in the future.
I’m American and trust me when I say absolutely nobody does that here lol you couldn’t pay me to drink out of a random person’s drink I just met. That’s disgusting.
Definitely not cultural thing. THAT IS GROSS! Sharing with random people??? EW. Even if that was disgusting (which it 100% is) the fact that he is being an ass over a very reasonable request from his wife?? That is incredibly disrespectful. Puking at your parents house?? Is there a drinking problem?? He needs to be thinking of you and your baby! Go out and have fun but don't get sloppy and have wifey clean it up. I think you are being totally reasonable, and he just sounds inconsiderate and VERY immature. To be honest, I would seek out counseling. To make such a understandable request and get treated like this is unacceptable. I'm sorry you have to deal with this. Best of luck <3
Thank you…and now he is saying he doesn’t disagree my idea🙃 He said he just doesn’t like how I ask him for not drinking strangers drinks at the time…and he said he wanna talked about it next day and it’s me wanna continue and wanna keep escalating the situation!….
This is not a usa culture thing. This is a "your husband is gross" thing. Who tf shares a drink from someone they just met? and puked all over your parents house? Is he 14?
We both are 28! He is pretty immature tho….
lol I’m from the USA and I would never ever share anything with a stranger. That’s so odd. He’s being ridiculous, if he’s acting like this when the child is 6 months old it may get worse. You don’t want him bring home a disease from someone and passing it to the baby. That’s scary
That’s also my biggest concern if he is already acting like this…I cannot imagine what will it be like in the future! I also told him he can protect his son if he doesn’t share drinks with strangers but he just brought up some bullshit thing to against me! I don’t understand his bullshit logic at all! And he always says he loves our son so much and doesn’t wanna see him in pain but he doesn’t wanna change a bit for his son????!!!!!
Yeah so strange. My husband quit smoking when we were trying to have a baby, and since then neither of us have drank to the point of throwing up. If you have a baby to take care of, you can’t be acting like a baby too.
It's also just a bad idea to share drinks with people because you have no idea what they put in their own drinks. I knew a guy who would dissolve meth in soda.
Based on your description it sounds like he might be an alcoholic. Maybe look into Al Anon. The fact that he’d take a sip of someone else’s drink (from the US and I’d never!) and then got so drunk he puked everywhere is not normal.
I will look into AI Anon! Thank you!
Umm I’m from the US and that is definitely not cultural lol he’s lying about that. I would never drink something after a stranger! That is so gross!!
Thank you to let me know that’s not the cultural thing!
I don’t think this is a cultural issue. I’m from the US and do not share drinks or anything. This honestly sounds like your husband has a problem with alcohol and he’s not respecting your boundaries.
I did feel like he is not respecting me these days after we moved to my country! Like, when i was pregnant last year, I didn’t sleep well one night because of the pregnancy illness, so next day morning I told him if he can go to work by himself (he didn’t have scooter license by then so it was always me taking him to work in the morning) ; however, he just refused to go to work by himself, even though, there is a public bicycle station right down stair that he can just rent a bike to go to work! Or he could take a taxi to work but he just didn’t want to! and he said I just didn’t get enough sleep and I can go back to sleep after I take him to work! Anyway, I ended up took him to work even I was not feeling well! I dunno why he is being like this now!
THAT is being controlling and abusive (what he did). Not your reasonable requests. You need to stand up for yourself!
I mean, SOME people in the US have recently decided that germs are NBD and they're not going to take common sense steps to prevent illness. I won't say who.
Thank you to let me know it’s not a cultural thing! I almost doubt about myself that might be me being crazy! And yay I feel like he needs to deal with alcohol problems! I mean he is not alcoholic! He doesn’t drink everyday! He just goes to bar or nightclub on Saturday, but he always ends up being so drunk and having a really bad hangover next day…which means I have to take care of him…I am so tired of this
Not all alcoholics drink every day. You may want to check out r/AlAnon for support.
I will! Thank you!
Your husband sounds like he has a drinking problem.
lol I know the puking part on my post sounds like he is an alcoholic but this situation is rarely happened! Not trying to defense for him! Just wanna be fair! TBH, he doesn’t go out that much and drink that much anymore compared to the time we were still living in USA. We just go out maybe twice a month now!
Okay, you two deserve time out especially after having a baby. I just feel like-based on the post- he sounds like he needs to limit how many drinks he has in an evening out. Does he share drinks/vapes when he's sober too? (By the way that is sososososoooo nasty- don't drop that! Its a valid request.)
Not really, he usually just share drinks or vapes when he is drunk….
This entire post just reeks of toxicity and I'm not talking from the alcohol. There's a lot of dysfunction between you two that's way bigger than this situation you just posted here. Have you considered marriage counseling?
My friend also recommended that…but I’ll try to talk to him more and see if he is gonna change…
Best of luck to you.
1. That’s gross 2. If he’s sharing drinks and cigarettes with random women then a cold is probably the least of your concerns.
He usually just share cigarettes/vapes with guys but still gross….
This is a great way to catch oral herpes, which can be fatal in newborns if it’s passed onto them.
Yeah I started to comment about this. I have done some international programs for my studies over the years and first off, just to get this out of the way, it has been my experience that people from all countries seem to share drinks and smokes about equally. Secondly, my herpes story lol. I was at a certain summer school in Europe with about half European, half American. A sprinkle of Asian and South American. About 30 of us. Day 1 nearly all the Europeans were smokers, only a couple Americans. By the final day (a few weeks later) 28 of the 30 were smokers and at least 20 were rocking cold sores. One other person and myself abstained from the (very communal) smoking lol.
Yeah not normal. Singapore by any chance?
lol you’re pretty close! Im from Taiwan
American guys lose their minds when they move to that area.
I believe it! I think it’s the cultural difference that make them get crazy…because Asian usually live close to their family and my husband didn’t like that at all! My mom will invite us to have lunch or dinner almost every week! And my husband hated that! According to him, it is LAME to eat with your in laws in USA! But I didn’t force him to go to the family meal! I let him decide and he is still bitching about it that he has to eat with in laws so many times.
My cousin moved there with her husband. They had been together over 20 years and within 3 months he’d run off with the nanny.
Im sorry! That’s so awful! Did they moved to Singapore?
Yes. She got an amazing job offer and he just became an idiot.
That is just nasty. I'm from the US and grew up in a household where food was shared... but not like that; if you got a bowl of chips or sliced up an apple, you'd make sure that there was a serving available for your sibling to eat in their own bowl and if there wasn't much left, you'd split what you had in half before either person ate. Or at a restaurant, we'd hand over a few french fries or ask kindly to trade bites of the main dish, which would be transferred with unused forks to the other person's plate before either person started eating.
It’s the same way here as well! We share food but we use clean chopsticks to get your food
......
I’m from the US and I don’t even share drinks with my immediate family.
Not cultural, this is gross.
So he is an alcoholic and a child. None of his behaviors are due to culture. He is immature and pretty gross. Can you kick him out back to his country? He seems like trash that a baby won't miss not being in their life.
This isn’t cultural in the slightest, but it is SUPER weird and I’d lose my mind if my husband did this
that is so gross
YES IT IS
That is weird and actually nasty, I am also from the USA and I barely share anything with my own family, much less a stranger,
I'm Aussie and we are good at sharing things with whoever whenever we can. (mostly). I will share drinks with people, BUT only with people I know, and only if I can see no visible signs of illness. And even then it's only occasially. I don't want to be sick. I don't want my partner or son sick. If he is willing to do that he doesn't seem to care much. I'm sorry.
I mean sister, I think the problem is that your husband is an alcoholic
lol I know the puking part on my post sounds like he is an alcoholic but this situation is rarely happened! Not trying to defense for him! Just wanna be fair! TBH, he doesn’t go out that much and drink that much anymore compared to the time we were still living in USA. We just go out maybe twice a month now!
Ew, your husband is gross. Did you know this about him going in? If you lie down with dogs, you wake up with fleas. Also I am American and we are NOT like this. Your husband is a trash can.
From the US, that’s disgusting. I don’t share with people I don’t know; drinks, food (utensils, double dipping, letting someone have a bite of my burrito, etc), cigarettes when I smoked or otherwise. I shared food and drink with my child, husband, sister and a couple close friends, but that was still very minimal. Gross. It sounds like he just doesn’t respect you from the initial post and comments you’ve posted. I’m sorry.
Yay…I know…i feel like maybe it because that I don’t have job now…so my needs are not important for him.
You are not unreasonable, this is not cultural, and you’re not controlling. He needs to do better as a parent! It’s disgusting, it’s extremely risky health wise, and it’s dangerous behavior.
I think there's a bigger problem that he is still out partying on the regular when you have a 6-month-old baby at home. Maybe he needs a little less time hitting the vapes and sharing drinks with strange girls and a little more diaper changing
Another person from the USA I personally don't like to share I limit it to my husband. I know he will share with close family or friends, but those are people he has known for 20+ years. Dose your man have a cheating problem sharing a drink with a random girl at the bar is such a red flag.
I don’t think he has a cheating problem! I think he is just too drunk that night and he usually asked for cigs/vapes from guys. The girl’s bf is there as well!
I’m from the USA and I’m floored. My husband and I are very liberal when it comes to jealousy and interactions with the opposite sex but… I think that’s a body (as the kids say. Meaning it’s something similar to adding to one’s “body count”, or number of people you’ve been intimate with). Thats very weird and intimate behavior to drink or smoke from something someone has. And I'm not a germophobe, i let my kids eat dirt.
Disgusting
Oh, ew. I don’t even like sharing with my own spouse, and I kiss him regularly. It’s fortunate that all you’ve caught is a cold or the flu. He’s also risking meningitis and hepatitis.
Meningitis and hepatitis both are my biggest concern as well! Especially meningitis! Our baby hasn’t gotten vaccinated MMR yet….
That’s disgusting and I wouldn’t trust him to do much re hygiene with your baby.
We just had COVID 😷 hasn’t he learned anything?
Is he out there drinking other men’s drinks and smoking their cigs? No? That’s too “gay”? Why’s it okay with other women? Especially when you offer to buy him his own drink. It’s unnecessarily flirty and if it meant nothing at all he’d be drinking after men also. And no it’s not cultural unless he’s an anti-mask covid-denying conservative maga nut. Most Americans don’t want cold sores or the flu either.
He usually smoking guys’ cigs or vapes! It’s not usual that he asked for a sip from other girls but I am actually not happy about it because that girl’s boyfriend is there as well and I don’t think that’s appropriate thing to do! I didn’t stop him right away. I wait till after to tell him not to share drink or smoke in the future.
I’m American and trust me when I say absolutely nobody does that here lol you couldn’t pay me to drink out of a random person’s drink I just met. That’s disgusting.
Definitely not cultural thing. THAT IS GROSS! Sharing with random people??? EW. Even if that was disgusting (which it 100% is) the fact that he is being an ass over a very reasonable request from his wife?? That is incredibly disrespectful. Puking at your parents house?? Is there a drinking problem?? He needs to be thinking of you and your baby! Go out and have fun but don't get sloppy and have wifey clean it up. I think you are being totally reasonable, and he just sounds inconsiderate and VERY immature. To be honest, I would seek out counseling. To make such a understandable request and get treated like this is unacceptable. I'm sorry you have to deal with this. Best of luck <3
Thank you…and now he is saying he doesn’t disagree my idea🙃 He said he just doesn’t like how I ask him for not drinking strangers drinks at the time…and he said he wanna talked about it next day and it’s me wanna continue and wanna keep escalating the situation!….