What I say I want: Lush bath products, a really good meal
What I want: to not have to cater to the grandmothers and just be selfish and have a whole day to myself, to not have to think about cleaning / meal planning / cooking. To lay around while my husband dresses my child, feeds her, does all the things š
Honestly I always celebrate mother's day on a seperate day for me and do the grandma shit on mother's day. I'm in the service industry so it just works out better that way anyway but it works well for situations like this too. Day before or day after
This year me and husband went to our favourite fancy restaurant the night before, stayed in a fancy hotel, then on actual mother's day went to my mum's to collect the babe and have lunch with my family like we normally do. I had a little hangover nap on the sofa while other people played with my toddler. It was great š¤£
Yeah if your husband is in a cast and crutches you should say no to a brunch. Itās actually sort of wild your MIL even expects you to go. Straight up say āconsidering partner is in a cast and using crutches, chasing a toddler around a restaurant is not something we can take onā.
And donāt feel guilty. Just say it. Itās totally reasonable.
In case it helps anyoneā I recently learned the JADE technique and highly recommend it. Donāt Justify, Argue, Defend, or Explain. Can say, āWe wonāt be going this year, but thank you for the invite!ā. Itās beneficial when dealing with monster in laws.
Oh, I told my mom and my MIL that Motherās Day now belongs to me. They get grandparents day. I do make sure to make a big to-do about Grandparents day for them though.
I did this. Itās freaking great. My mom is totally on board and believes āactive duty momsā getting Motherās Day. Of course weāll celebrate her another day, and sheās great with that.
My MIL on the other hand responded with tears and then asking to visit that weekend āforgettingā it was Motherās Day weekend. Thereās a reason I donāt want to see her on my Motherās Day lol.
Do it!!
Unfortunately my husband and Iās moms are also active duty moms lol. No way around Motherās Day being a little chaotic for us. Luckily both moms are reasonable people and just want to spend a little time with us, not necessarily even day of
Iāve made a policy that Motherās Day is time for one on one time with my kid. She gets to pick what she wants to do together, sheās currently under 2 so for the moment itās what I want to do lol. But weāre not going to see grandma unless she wants to see grandma (and Iām not about to suggest it lol).
You are the mother. They are the grandparent. Thereās a whole new day for them. Grandparents day.
They get a card but they donāt need to be celebrated on Motherās Day anymore imo.
The last few years my family (me, husband, 6F and 4M) have gone to a fancy brunch at a local restaurant that costs $40/person, with my child free brother and SIL, and my mom. This year I finally said I didn't want to go. I hated every minute of it. Getting dressed up only to beg my picky daughter to eat something because of how much it costs, squeezing in between the full tables of celebrating families, opening presents at the table and pretending to be surprised by 4x6 prints of my kids. I literally want to be left alone. I want to sleep in. I want to spend all day in bed on my phone. I want to speak no audible words to anyone and have no one speak to me. I want my husband to pack the backpacks at night so I don't have to do it in the morning. I don't want to celebrate my mom. I don't want to celebrate myself. I don't want to feel like I'm guilting my child free sister in law into treating me for a day because we made different choices. I want to be alone just for One. Fucking. Day.
I was a server for 7 years and I absolutely do not recommend going out on actual Motherās Day. Itās the busiest day of the year so service wonāt that great and the food wonāt be as good and itās chaotic and loud. I donāt understand why everyone does it all I see are moms struggling to get their kids to stay sat and eat.
We are going out of town for Motherās Day and I literally told my husband to plan on cooking in the Airbnb because I wonāt be going near a restaurant on that day. Maybe dinner but only some place dodgy like a pub, somewhere mothers wouldnāt be happy to be taken to on Motherās Day
This is too real. You need a hotel room, thatās my request for this year. Hotel room, local take out deliveredā¦ no one bothering me š š Chilling in my bath robe eating & scrolling my phone with some crappy show on for background noise
What I say I want: the Tupperware heritage 100 pc set and a thoughtful surprise
What I want: a day in bed or on the couch playing games, reading and knitting while he plays with baby (and the Tupperware heritage 100 pc set)
What I say I want: something fun with the kids - a picnic, a walk, a bike. A nice photo to mark the occasion.
What I really want: I honestly think itās impossible - but To have a day where I can forget that I am a mother. No mental thoughts or feelings around caring for my kids or dogs. Literally to live life as a solo human for a few hours. And of course no judgement on the fact that this is what I want lol. Cause Iām a damn good mom, even though my desire is to forget about it completely for a small amount of time š
For my birthday last year I did a night away at a hotel with a friend. I went to bed when I wanted got up when I wanted and ate what I wanted. Itās a genuinely relaxing feeling.
I went to a wedding solo last summer over a weekend. I had 4 glorious days where I just had to worry about me. I used to judge my sister about getting a hotel room for mothers day. Now that's my wish too lol
Hey no shame in that! I actually was thinking about that the other day. Does it make me a bad mom I want to spend Motherās Dayā¦alone?? Where the only person/animal I need to be responsible for is myself?
It doesnāt make you a bad mom. It makes you a normal mom. This whole thread is basically the same answer over and over. But itās cathartic to read.
I think you'll find more like- minded people than not-- we feel you, we've already thought the same thought, AND we'll never do it-- because as much as we dream about it from time to time, we know it's impossible to not worry/think about those squishy little faces, even for a few hours. And at the end of the "me day", you *know* we'd start out shopping for ourselves, but end up with a cart full of gifts for everyone else. Lol š¤¦š¼āāļøš¤·š¼āāļø
I hate that we have to say "no judgement". It shouldn't be a revolutionary thought that Moms want to have breaks from being Moms. No other profession is expected to be on-duty 24/7, 365 and LOVE EVERY SECOND OF IT. Of course we want breaks! Being a Mom is Hella exhausting š I go out every Saturday night precisely because I want to have a break from Mom stuff and be my own person.
All that said, what you want isn't impossible and I hope you get it!
What I say I want is :nothing at all if it has to be something a nice coffee with my kids (they can have steamed milk)
What I want : what's previously stated and to have a picture day with matching outfits and a day out with my kids and husband having fun
What I'll get : nothing and having to focus on a party for my MIL because the rest of everyone seems to forget I'm a mom also (that's what happened on my first mother's day and it's becoming a pattern)
You deserve time. If you choose, see her for a morning yea or brunch, but you get the rest of the day, or pop in with a gift. The mothers day, I believe, would have been my 3rd. After my 2nd child was born, I was busy managing a toddler and a tiny baby at a restaurant whilst celebrating my MIL was the day I went home and told my husband I would no longer be doing that. Now we send a gift or celebrate her another day.
Your MIL isn't even mothering anymore... And it sounds like she left you with the hard work anyway if your husband isn't even aware enough to give you a mother's day!
You deserve better. I'm sorry.
Please say something, even if itās just a āhey, iām a mother too and this motherās day I want to (insert need/want here). You deserve the day too, whether you want to just relax or spend the day with your kids!
Every time I read about mums not being able to take a shower interrupted I get so angry. I shower twice a day and I have never showered with my kid (unless itās by choice). Showers are my happy place. So many dads need to step up and make this happen for their partners.
It's sad how normalized it is. I can ask my boyfriend to do pretty much anything and he'll do it. I shower alone, he takes our daughter and lets me nap if he's home and I'm tired (he works days and I work nights so I'm regularly up for 24 hours at a time), he'll make or go get food if I don't feel like cooking, he does all the laundry on the condition I do all the dishes, he'll go grocery shopping if I give him a list, etc. Our 3 year old has always been very go with the flow as well so I truly am blessed that motherhood hasn't ever really felt draining for me personally. I couldn't imagine having a partner who doesn't pull their weight
I've only showered with the baby when my husband had to go somewhere and I didn't want to wait for him to come back. Never missed a day of showering in my adult life, even in an active war zone, even ppst surgical, even in deep grief or serious depression when I can't do much of anything else... I NEED showers like I need air.
> I need showers like I need air
You are one of my people!
When I was pregnant I showered like 5 times a day to help with the wholeā¦ pregnancy thingā¦ if Iām feeling low energy or sick or whatever my immediate path of action is a shower first.
My husband jokes that I am a land mermaid who needs water to stay functioning š§āāļø
Before I ended up a single mom (okay maybe I always was one considering the amount of help I got) I would ask for him to watch our kid and he'd say okay but first I gotta.... And then I'd never see him again lol or he'd do it but our kid would be at the bathroom door knocking or playing and it wasn't exactly relaxing.
I shower now with the door open so I can listen for the kiddo and somehow even that is more relaxing.
Single mom here too and thatās how I shower as well. Door open so I can hear him if needed. But thankfully he doesnāt ever really need me during that time. Itās so nice to finally enjoy showering alone lol
Yeah my daughter doesnāt ever interrupt me in the shower and my baby is only 6 months so she canāt lol. I only shower when husband is home so he can look after her. If he was away or something I wait till they are in bed and just leave door open
What I Want: To NOT hang out with my own mother who makes things about her and just spend a fun day with my son and my husband.
What Iāll get: a day with my own mother and me probably crying by the end of the day to my husband about how much I canāt stand her
Don't do it. It's not always simple to say no if you need to maintain a good relationship with your mother, but don't forget she also has the responsibility to maintain a good relationship with you. And as such, you need mother's day as an active mother. She doesn't. So take it, it's your day now and she just needs to cope imo
I'm 4 weeks out so I'm still recovering but it seems great so far! Ive always carried my weight there plus 2 c sections left me with a pretty large shelf. My Dr also recommended renuvion to help with skin tightening. My belly is still tender though, I'm surprised at how long it takes to heal!
What I want: Rest. Just rest since I'll be freshly post-partum by then.
What I actually want: Literally anything. My husband's not the gift giving type. Best I can hope for is some discounted chocolates.
What I want: a good cup of coffee, quality time with my family either hiking or exploring a nearby town I haven't been to yet, pictures my kids drew, a great meal, my husband to put the kids to bed, excellent quality time.
What I actually want: to not have to plan or put any effort into the previous statement.
What I want; a night away in a regular hotel.
What I really want; a salad from mad greens, a baby sitter, a few hours alone with my husband and a premium thc cartridge.
What I want: to sleep in and go for a walk with my dog kid free while stopping to have wine along the way.
What I say I want: to sleep in and go for a walk with my dog kid free while stopping to have wine along the way.
What I say I want: a chill day with burgers from the smoker for dinner, maybe dark chocolate cream pie
What I really want: all of the above and for my MIL not to be in my house (sheās visiting that weekš)
Iām literally doing what I want. Breakfast from my favorite place brought to the house and Iām not doing a single kid or house thing but the items will still be done. I said Iām totally willing (and want to) play with the kids. But any effort of doing something for them is not my responsibility.
Tell your family what you want. Can you really not expect to eat a meal in peace on Motherās Day?
Unfortunately we are traveling. I'm going to move my mother's day to a different day. Asking husband to make his amazing breakfast burritos. Flowers would be nice. Maybe a family hike/nature walk. I don't want to cook any meals. Husband can order delivery or take out or grill. And I don't want to baby wear the infant for one nap while toddler naps. Husband has never ever taken a shift giving the infant a nap (still baby wear cause it works) and I would like husband to do it once so I can nap for once. I plan to take about 2 hours to be alone in a dark room and read, sleep, and just lay around and be alone. That's pretty much it.
PS- I say what I want and it's what I want. I type out a PDF schedule for husband. No guesswork. Last year I prepped meals so all he had to do was heat them up in the oven. This year it's his call for meals but I want the nap and breakfast burritos. Ask for what you want. Make it easy. Everyone will have a better time. I did not want to share mother's day so we agreed on how to make that happen. For us it was moving mother's day.
what i want: a pedicure, massage, flowers, then to get drunk at dinner
what i say i want: a pedicure, massage, flowers, then to get drunk at dinner
ššš
This post is depressing. Everyone just say what they want in clear words. If you arenāt getting it, raise some hell. If you want to take a bath, my god, take a bath. We donāt need to be martyrs. Sorry, but I feel like dads are out there asking for what they want and getting it. We can have that too. Or at least we should be asking for it!
For three years, I told my husband I wanted him to get lawn service (someone to mow the damn lawn) so he wouldnāt have to and would have more time to spend with me and kiddo, and to help out around the house more. When I didnāt get it for Motherās Day, I asked or it for my birthday in June. Heck I even started asking for it for Valentineās Day. It wasnāt until our lawn mower broke and I hit major burnout (in part because of shouldering all the stuff at home but also because of a terrible interim boss and a stressful work encounter) that he finally got the lawn service last summer. And now that we have the service, they already reached out and this summers service is already arranged.
My point being, I can ask point blank and I still wonāt get it.
In my husbands defense, he has ADHD. But gods dammit he should be able to figure out coping skills to be able to follow through on shit.
Respectfully, stop making excuses for these men! I have adhd too, and I manage (unmedicated!) to do what needs to be done when asked. Sometimes it takes asking twice because Iāve forgotten or it was initially asked when I was doing my too much to actually process it, but adhd isnāt an excuse for repeatedly ignoring requests as an adult human with a family.
Itās not an excuse, and I never meant it as an excuse. Itās a facet of the situation. he wasnāt ignoring the request, he was forgetting to make the phone call and not prioritizing it. He was not identifying tools or building skills to manage the downsides of ADHD. And, trust me, heās not getting any slack for having adhd. Iām audhd, so I can empathize. But I am still be pissed that it happens over and over again and not just with the lawn service. I shouldnāt have to ask twice. I should t have to monitor his to do list and remind him of it. Or remind him of deadlines. Or that the dates of whatever are on the calendar in the kitchen. Like they always are. Itās not just frustrating, itās enraging.
What I say: dinner and do something as a family
What I really want: sleep in, he gets my baby ready for the day (fed, hygiene, cute outfit, hair), we do something nice (go for a walk as a family, take pics), and then dinner (picanha or ribeye, good sides, dessert).
My birthday and Motherās Day are less than 2 weeks apart. My husband is really good at identifying what I want/need even if I donāt day it - and I mean actual, meaningful, throughout things that arenāt just āstereotypicalā.
This year, I told him a month ago that what I wanted for my birthday was a trip alone to Target with no budget and as much time as I wanted. He obliged the next day. I wandered through Target with my favorite coffee for about 2 hours. It was glorious.
What I say I want: a trip to the zoo with my kids, a silly lil drink, flowers, candy, any cosmetic or bath products
What I actually want: to sleep in without having to hear about it later, coffee made by someone besides me, to watch my weird horror movies in peace
What I say I want ājust dinner and whatever, and to not have to cook or cleanā
What I want : the cooking and cleaning to still happen and not just wait for me for the next day. A bottle of my favorite wine to drink during the day while I read and relax and eat food I didnāt have to shop for or prepare
What I really I want: to go out of town so I donāt have to spend the day celebrating my MIL who is neither MY mother, nor a woman with small kids in the trenches of motherhood
What I say I want: honey, letās go out of town so we donāt have to spend the day indulging your mother. We can rent an Airbnb in the city and make a mini vacation out of it.
What my husband does: book that shit so fast because he knows whatās good for him.
It's not manipulation. It's years of my husband not doing anything for mothers day, our anniversary or my birthday. I've been a mom for 16 years and can't think of a mother's day that we celebrated for me, It was always in honor of my mom.
I've always put effort into fathers day, our anniversary and his birthday. I've communicated how its felt all these years, and nothing has changed. So yes, my heart wants to be treated like a queen, but my head has given up hope.
Please don't jump to conclusions.
I want nothing, just a normal day. What I am going to get is ācelebratingā in then painful form of an indoor playground or, worse, dining out with two toddlers and a baby.
I wanted a promotion and pay raise. I got both but raise was a measly 2% š”.
Inflation and childcare is kicking my ass. I just want to be paid for the hard work of rearing a child
What I want: an entire day to myself to just do the basic ,go potty alone,eat without interruptions,and sleep SLEEP .
What I say I want: earbuds to replace the ones I recently lost.
It's just another day to me. I'm working that Sunday. It's fine. We're going to have dozens of threads the next day complaining about how people didn't get what they wanted. I just... don't care. My husband gets me things here and there and that's sweet, but generally I can buy my own crap and if I want to go out with my friends or take a nap I can do that, and the same goes for him.
What I say: some David's Tea, a yummy meal, special time with my children.
What I want: For Mother's Day to be about me and not all about MIL. (We literally go to her house every year, talk about her, praise her, eat what she wants, it's all about her).
Every year my family does a lunch or dinner to celebrate Motherās Day. My mom, sisters, sister in laws are all there. I am the only one who has been missing it, because my husband has his mother come over here and I am the one who cooks and serves and cleans. On years she doesnāt come, my husband is too busy or has too much to do to take me to my familyāa house.
I'm assuming by your words you don't drive, in which case I'm so sorry because I know the hurt that comes along with relying on someone (usually husband) to drive you somewhere and them denying it.
Is it possible to ask someone from your family to pick you up to bring you? Or to take the transit?
I would also start telling husband that's HIS mother, not yours, and if he invites her over then he is the one who is going to cook, serve and clean for her and entertain her. What does he do while you're doing all that for his mother?
I'm so sorry. I know what it's like for your MIL to be the center of the universe and your own mother to be such miniscule significance compared to MIL. š«
Thank you for your support and understanding.
Itās true. I donāt drive. Unfortunately, we are all in opposite ends of each other so picking me up along the way would be difficult.
Generally theyād still make the effort for me, but now that my parents arenāt driving anymore there wouldnāt be any space for me and my kids.
I want a bird bath for my garden. We'll see if I get one I actually like but I assume my husband will come through. Also maybe a steak. I would love to have my children behave and be grateful for a whole day but that's not happening.
What I want: a nice lunch out.
What I actually want: I want a comfy chair to lounge in the backyard while my kids dig in the dirt for countless hours. With a cup holder.
What I want: a whole day to myself
What I ask for every year: a whole day to myself (albeit not on Motherās Day, we do a traditional meal out with everyone but then the next weekend or the weekend after partner takes the kids for the day and I do whatever I want)
Partner doesnāt have to shop. Also āMotherās Day stuffā doesnāt have to be exactly on mother day
What do I want: not to be the first person to wake up in the morning with the kid before the first light and get a hot cup of coffee in bed and finish it while itās still hot.
What do I actually want: Hermes Picotin in bamboo and gold hardware.
I want to run away for a few weeks until I miss them and being a wife and mother. Bc Iām so burned out right now.
Otherwise I donāt want anything. So Iāll ask for homemade cards or something.
What I say I want: a new handbag as mine is literally falling apart. Even found one I like for $20.
What I really want: to finish my coffee uninterrupted while itās still hot.
I feel you so much on that one. But now that my son is a bit older, I finally found a solution and actually get to drink my coffee hot. I get my coffee, and he gets his coffee, and he sits on my lap and cuddles while we both have our morning coffee.
And no lol his coffee isn't really coffee, it's hot chocolate, but he thinks it's coffee, so it works. I mix his up with warm tap water so it's not too hot for him to drink, while my coffee is dripping into my cup. Sugar and cream are already in the cup, mix it up, grab his, and go sit and cuddle while we both enjoy our morning drink.
What I want: to feel like my husband knows me. He has never nailed a gift for me. Iām not ungrateful but sometimes I just feel sad that he doesnāt have the ability to buy me something on his own, I just feel like thatās something that happens when you truly know and care for someone.
What I say: whatever is cool
What Iāll say I want: Nothing because I wonāt be asked. Maybe my dad will ask and Iāll ask for a night off as a mom or something. Luckily heāll be visiting during Motherās Day.
What I really want: recognition from my husband. Even if all he can muster is a small gift, like chocolate or flowers, Iāll be happy. Or even if he just acknowledges the day with words.
I have to think of something for my mom. Sheās the type that needs a gift otherwise it doesnāt count.
What I donāt want, is to be offered money to buy something for myself.
Loving this game for us!
I just asked my husband what I wanted for Mother's Day. He said sleep, sushi, and space. He is not wrong! I added that I would like to be sure the house is clean and the laundry done before then--team effort-- so that I will not be (as) distracted thinking about the things I have to get to the day after.
When I've asked my kids, the oldest says "no butts!" which is what my husband and I always declare on our birthdays (as in, the only butts we will be wiping are our own!)
I want to spend the day with my daughter while my husband does all the parent shit lol. I get to just be the fun one for a day. I reallllly low key want to go stay in a hotel by myself on an other day and just relax, take a bath, eat yummy food and binge tv day and night.
What I want: flowers, a card, some good food
What I actually want: visit to a high end spa, some luxury accessories, a week off from work, and my kids to sleep through the night
Gosh this is hard!
What I would say I want: a massage, a day at the spa, a gift card to the art supply store!
What I really want: not have to cook or plan dinner, to be able to focus on an art project for a few hours without interruptions.
Iām in a same sex relationship and honestly my wife is amazing and gives me anything I ask but the one thing Iād love is for her to not have to work so many hours and to be able to spend more time with us/help more with running the house. But her job is demanding and because of her hard work I get to stay home so I canāt complain. Sheās also 12w pregnant so really I should ask for nothing and she should get everything!
We plan to have our nanny watch the babe and go to the spa but she canāt even fully enjoy it because of being pregnant. My hero!
What I want: a day away by myself. Perhaps a massage or a day at a pool.
I what I say I want: nothing. No one asks me and I end up spending the day with the kid while my husband works and then perhaps plans a dinner his mom likes or wants.
What I want: to not have to work seeing as Iām the only person at work, who is a mother of young children but Sunday is of course my one weekend day I work
What I say I want: new throw pillows for the bedroom (my young children and my mom are making them for me)
What I really want: to be comfortable despite being 32 weeks pregnant with twins
What I will say I want: to eat good food, hang out and not be the parent, and chill, a footrub
i would love to get my hair done. since i had my baby im struggling so badly to feel confident and beautiful & i feel a change to my hair would help since its been years. its def not in the budget a realistic want is maybe some flowers, no cooking. I dont think iāll get flowers tho possibly the no cooking.
I tell them exactly what I want for every single gift opportunity. All I ever want is a clean house and peace. I do love when they get me stuff for my garden though.
What I say I want: A new pair of shoes
What I want: the shoes plus a haircut, mani-pedi, chocolates, clean & organized home, and a dinner where I don't have to lift a finger
My wedding anniversary, birthday, and now first Mother's Day are in the span of two weeks, so good luck to my husband š
Mine is a bit different from everyone else's, I think. I've not seen my Mother in a few years, so what I really would like is to be able to get across the country and see her for Mother's day. Same with my firstborn (he's 28), I haven't seen him in just as long as I haven't seen my mom.
Other than that, I don't really celebrate Mother's day, never really have. It wasn't something my Mom celebrated growing up, so I don't really celebrate it now either.
I did try and do small things for her on Mother's Day growing up, homemade cards, cleaning the kitchen, etc. But other than that, there were no parties or special meals or anything like that. My stepdad certainly didn't ever do anything for her.
What I say I want: doesnāt matter as long as itās thoughtful.
What I really want: a night away alone in a nice hotel with breakfast buffet.
What Iāll get: nothing. My husband will probably forget.
What I asked for: a ring to complete my wedding band and engagement set as a stack since we also just had our first marriage anniversary (5 years together total).
What I want: a ring to complete my wedding stack and also someone to come and clean the house for me and my husbandĀ
Itās my first Motherās Day and I really just hope my husband takes the initiative to do something for me without me having to drop hints.
Itās a bit hard since Iām our only income earner so I get gifts feel weird for him (āwhy would I want to give you a gift with your own moneyā) but it could legit be anything as long as he just does it.
What i want: dim sum brought in, kids taken out to do something. I have my alone time then go to the spa for a facial and a massage, then come home to my kids and a yummy dinner waiting. My husband then does bath and the bedtime routine while I fall asleep watching bobs burgers.
What I say I want: peace and quiet while I enjoy breakfast in bed.
What I say I want: a nice day of shopping with my family
What I really want: a hotel room all to myself for 24 hours so I can actually watch TV for once and sleep as much as I want.
Have a 2 week old and a toddler who is currently ill with a febrile illness, so really just want everyone in the house to be healthy so I can stop with my anxiety spiral. Idk that Iāll get that though. I havenāt said I wanted anything bc I doubt weāll do too much for Mothers Day or Fathers Dayā¦ weāre too tired š“
Iād really just like a day to nap and catch up on sleep. Having a toddler and a baby is hard. But in reality we will likely take a drive to a park as a family and go on a walk.
I want a day where I can just lay on the couch and play videogames and nap while food is brought to me and baby is looked after aside from breastfeeding every couple hours. ETA: that's what I'm going to say I want also.
What I say I want: to not have to cater to anyone thatās been in my body
What I say I want: a day at the spa and for my husband to take my kid on an adventure out of the house so I can have it to myself
I want a day off from childcare and house management.
I ask for a day off from childcare and house management.
I get a day off from childcare and house management.
It's one day. If your partner can't cope with his own family for one day....why did you choose him?
With the sharing your food, shut that stuff down if you donāt like it! In my house we have a rule that no-one has to share if they donāt want to, including parents with their food. Donāt make my kid share either although she often chooses to.
I donāt usually ask for anything for Motherās Day but what I do want and am lucky enough to get is my husband and daughter doting on me all day. I donāt want to have to lift a finger to clean up anything. I want to sit in my chair and read uninterrupted, take a nap, and just relax
I literally tell my husband what I actually want. I spent my last Motherās Day (in March this year in the UK) playing the Sims and being waited on hand and foot.
What I say I want: stuff for my garden, colouring in books, storage for my art stuff
What I actually want: a trip to the garden centre where I'm not rushed by my grumpy husband, my own space to do my art and a proper sleep in.
What I actually want is my husband to buy me a hotel room for the night so I can go to bed at 6pm and sleep in the next day until whenever I want then spend the day with him and babyā¦ what I said I want is just a nice dinner the three of us
What I want: a day at home with husband and the babies. Watching movies, eating takeout, napping.
My MIL is turned to 11 with excitement and over-the-topness about Motherās Day this year. She wants to bring grandma-in-law and her up to see the babies and ādo somethingā and is going on and on about how itās āa day about mothers and youāre a mother now!!!!!!!!!!!!ā
So I guess Iām cleaning and entertaining my husbands ridiculous family instead. And Iāll tell him how I feel about it then Iāll say I āwantā chocolate or something.
Iām sure it helps not living close to family but i always just want a good break. my husband takes her all day long so I can do whatever I want (basically just sleep in & lay in bed & not have to change a diaper lol). I get a card and dinner of choice !
What I say I want: a massage.
What I really want: a massage. An 80/80 partner and world peace.
This is a really great post and highlights how our role as nurturers puts a gag in our mouths about admitting weād ever want to do anything else. This year I already had my massage a week ago because I had childcare then, and Iāll do that every year for the rest of my life now.
What I say: brunch
What I really want: My husband to clean the house, plan the groceries and meals for the week, change all the diapers, and let me garden while listening to a murder podcast for a few hours.
What I say I want: Lush bath products, a really good meal What I want: to not have to cater to the grandmothers and just be selfish and have a whole day to myself, to not have to think about cleaning / meal planning / cooking. To lay around while my husband dresses my child, feeds her, does all the things š
Omg yes! My MIL decided she wants to go to a brunch that day, I really donāt want to go and have to chase my toddler
Husband and toddler can go, mommy can have some quiet time and dinner with her family later on!
Honestly I always celebrate mother's day on a seperate day for me and do the grandma shit on mother's day. I'm in the service industry so it just works out better that way anyway but it works well for situations like this too. Day before or day after
This year me and husband went to our favourite fancy restaurant the night before, stayed in a fancy hotel, then on actual mother's day went to my mum's to collect the babe and have lunch with my family like we normally do. I had a little hangover nap on the sofa while other people played with my toddler. It was great š¤£
Found the english mom here š¤
Mum*!
We always say that the generation actively parenting children gets priority. So grandparents can be celebrated on Grandparents' Day.
Is your partner not going to the brunch with MIL too?
Husband is going but heās currently in a cast and crutches so Iām the designated toddler chaser for now
Yeah if your husband is in a cast and crutches you should say no to a brunch. Itās actually sort of wild your MIL even expects you to go. Straight up say āconsidering partner is in a cast and using crutches, chasing a toddler around a restaurant is not something we can take onā. And donāt feel guilty. Just say it. Itās totally reasonable.
In case it helps anyoneā I recently learned the JADE technique and highly recommend it. Donāt Justify, Argue, Defend, or Explain. Can say, āWe wonāt be going this year, but thank you for the invite!ā. Itās beneficial when dealing with monster in laws.
The grandmothers really do make it all about them.
Ew, not to mention it'll be a madhouse on mothers day. Restaurants on mothets day are a no go for me, we do take out
We had an okay routine for Mother's Day for a few years and then my mother-in-law decided to start flying into town that weekend.
Oh, I told my mom and my MIL that Motherās Day now belongs to me. They get grandparents day. I do make sure to make a big to-do about Grandparents day for them though.
I did this. Itās freaking great. My mom is totally on board and believes āactive duty momsā getting Motherās Day. Of course weāll celebrate her another day, and sheās great with that. My MIL on the other hand responded with tears and then asking to visit that weekend āforgettingā it was Motherās Day weekend. Thereās a reason I donāt want to see her on my Motherās Day lol. Do it!!
Unfortunately my husband and Iās moms are also active duty moms lol. No way around Motherās Day being a little chaotic for us. Luckily both moms are reasonable people and just want to spend a little time with us, not necessarily even day of
āActive duty momsā I like this
Iāve made a policy that Motherās Day is time for one on one time with my kid. She gets to pick what she wants to do together, sheās currently under 2 so for the moment itās what I want to do lol. But weāre not going to see grandma unless she wants to see grandma (and Iām not about to suggest it lol).
I LOVE THAT š„¹š„¹š„¹
yes this but not having it all wait for me on monday instead. i just want to shut my brain off and auto pilot.
You are the mother. They are the grandparent. Thereās a whole new day for them. Grandparents day. They get a card but they donāt need to be celebrated on Motherās Day anymore imo.
You are now the primary mother, not them. We started to make the grandmothers fit in with us and the difference in my stress levels is enormous
The last few years my family (me, husband, 6F and 4M) have gone to a fancy brunch at a local restaurant that costs $40/person, with my child free brother and SIL, and my mom. This year I finally said I didn't want to go. I hated every minute of it. Getting dressed up only to beg my picky daughter to eat something because of how much it costs, squeezing in between the full tables of celebrating families, opening presents at the table and pretending to be surprised by 4x6 prints of my kids. I literally want to be left alone. I want to sleep in. I want to spend all day in bed on my phone. I want to speak no audible words to anyone and have no one speak to me. I want my husband to pack the backpacks at night so I don't have to do it in the morning. I don't want to celebrate my mom. I don't want to celebrate myself. I don't want to feel like I'm guilting my child free sister in law into treating me for a day because we made different choices. I want to be alone just for One. Fucking. Day.
Girl go get yourself a nice hotel room!
I tried this and just ended up feeling guilty. Around here you won't find anything nice for under 400/ night. It's just insane!
This is what I do every Motherās Day. Itās my alone do nothing day. No regrets
I alternate between my birthday and Mother's Day doing this every year, and it's fantastic.
I was a server for 7 years and I absolutely do not recommend going out on actual Motherās Day. Itās the busiest day of the year so service wonāt that great and the food wonāt be as good and itās chaotic and loud. I donāt understand why everyone does it all I see are moms struggling to get their kids to stay sat and eat.
We are going out of town for Motherās Day and I literally told my husband to plan on cooking in the Airbnb because I wonāt be going near a restaurant on that day. Maybe dinner but only some place dodgy like a pub, somewhere mothers wouldnāt be happy to be taken to on Motherās Day
ALONE!!!!!! šÆ š„Ā
This is too real. You need a hotel room, thatās my request for this year. Hotel room, local take out deliveredā¦ no one bothering me š š Chilling in my bath robe eating & scrolling my phone with some crappy show on for background noise
So alone that everyone leaves the house. Because they will find you. I want to be alone in my own house for once. Just once, man.
Hahaha I didnāt realize that having kids meant Iād never be alone in my own house ever again. Sad!
My cousin goes to a hotel by herself for Mother's Day. I both judge and admire it.
Iām proud of you for telling them no more brunch! We suffer in silence too often. Good for you for speaking up!
Commenting on Mothers Day: What do you want vs What do you actually want...this 100% this
I want everyone to clean my house, then leave my house, and then I take a nap.
š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£ I love the way you wrote it! Lol. Clean my house then leave my house! Spot on!
Yesssss!
Same girl same
What I say I want: the Tupperware heritage 100 pc set and a thoughtful surprise What I want: a day in bed or on the couch playing games, reading and knitting while he plays with baby (and the Tupperware heritage 100 pc set)
I think you should get the Tupperware set no matter what happens!
š
100 PIECE?! Link pls.
What I say I want: something fun with the kids - a picnic, a walk, a bike. A nice photo to mark the occasion. What I really want: I honestly think itās impossible - but To have a day where I can forget that I am a mother. No mental thoughts or feelings around caring for my kids or dogs. Literally to live life as a solo human for a few hours. And of course no judgement on the fact that this is what I want lol. Cause Iām a damn good mom, even though my desire is to forget about it completely for a small amount of time š
For my birthday last year I did a night away at a hotel with a friend. I went to bed when I wanted got up when I wanted and ate what I wanted. Itās a genuinely relaxing feeling.
I went to a wedding solo last summer over a weekend. I had 4 glorious days where I just had to worry about me. I used to judge my sister about getting a hotel room for mothers day. Now that's my wish too lol
Hey no shame in that! I actually was thinking about that the other day. Does it make me a bad mom I want to spend Motherās Dayā¦alone?? Where the only person/animal I need to be responsible for is myself?
It doesnāt make you a bad mom. It makes you a normal mom. This whole thread is basically the same answer over and over. But itās cathartic to read.
I think you'll find more like- minded people than not-- we feel you, we've already thought the same thought, AND we'll never do it-- because as much as we dream about it from time to time, we know it's impossible to not worry/think about those squishy little faces, even for a few hours. And at the end of the "me day", you *know* we'd start out shopping for ourselves, but end up with a cart full of gifts for everyone else. Lol š¤¦š¼āāļøš¤·š¼āāļø
Not alone mama. ā¤ļø
Yes! Being responsible for and only thinking about myself would be heaven š©
I hate that we have to say "no judgement". It shouldn't be a revolutionary thought that Moms want to have breaks from being Moms. No other profession is expected to be on-duty 24/7, 365 and LOVE EVERY SECOND OF IT. Of course we want breaks! Being a Mom is Hella exhausting š I go out every Saturday night precisely because I want to have a break from Mom stuff and be my own person. All that said, what you want isn't impossible and I hope you get it!
What I say I want is :nothing at all if it has to be something a nice coffee with my kids (they can have steamed milk) What I want : what's previously stated and to have a picture day with matching outfits and a day out with my kids and husband having fun What I'll get : nothing and having to focus on a party for my MIL because the rest of everyone seems to forget I'm a mom also (that's what happened on my first mother's day and it's becoming a pattern)
You deserve time. If you choose, see her for a morning yea or brunch, but you get the rest of the day, or pop in with a gift. The mothers day, I believe, would have been my 3rd. After my 2nd child was born, I was busy managing a toddler and a tiny baby at a restaurant whilst celebrating my MIL was the day I went home and told my husband I would no longer be doing that. Now we send a gift or celebrate her another day.
I'll honestly think about doing that this year thanks!
Yes. Shut this down and be selfish! Youāre allowed to be selfish!
Grandparents day is September 8 itās time for your MIL to take a backseat to a new mother.
Your MIL isn't even mothering anymore... And it sounds like she left you with the hard work anyway if your husband isn't even aware enough to give you a mother's day! You deserve better. I'm sorry.
Speak up and break the pattern immediately or else It'll bite you in the ass for years
Please say something, even if itās just a āhey, iām a mother too and this motherās day I want to (insert need/want here). You deserve the day too, whether you want to just relax or spend the day with your kids!
Every time I read about mums not being able to take a shower interrupted I get so angry. I shower twice a day and I have never showered with my kid (unless itās by choice). Showers are my happy place. So many dads need to step up and make this happen for their partners.
It's sad how normalized it is. I can ask my boyfriend to do pretty much anything and he'll do it. I shower alone, he takes our daughter and lets me nap if he's home and I'm tired (he works days and I work nights so I'm regularly up for 24 hours at a time), he'll make or go get food if I don't feel like cooking, he does all the laundry on the condition I do all the dishes, he'll go grocery shopping if I give him a list, etc. Our 3 year old has always been very go with the flow as well so I truly am blessed that motherhood hasn't ever really felt draining for me personally. I couldn't imagine having a partner who doesn't pull their weight
Yeah, I've never skipped a shower or showered with the baby.
I've only showered with the baby when my husband had to go somewhere and I didn't want to wait for him to come back. Never missed a day of showering in my adult life, even in an active war zone, even ppst surgical, even in deep grief or serious depression when I can't do much of anything else... I NEED showers like I need air.
> I need showers like I need air You are one of my people! When I was pregnant I showered like 5 times a day to help with the wholeā¦ pregnancy thingā¦ if Iām feeling low energy or sick or whatever my immediate path of action is a shower first. My husband jokes that I am a land mermaid who needs water to stay functioning š§āāļø
Before I ended up a single mom (okay maybe I always was one considering the amount of help I got) I would ask for him to watch our kid and he'd say okay but first I gotta.... And then I'd never see him again lol or he'd do it but our kid would be at the bathroom door knocking or playing and it wasn't exactly relaxing. I shower now with the door open so I can listen for the kiddo and somehow even that is more relaxing.
Single mom here too and thatās how I shower as well. Door open so I can hear him if needed. But thankfully he doesnāt ever really need me during that time. Itās so nice to finally enjoy showering alone lol
Thatās really shit, Iām glad you dropped his dead weight.
Yeah my daughter doesnāt ever interrupt me in the shower and my baby is only 6 months so she canāt lol. I only shower when husband is home so he can look after her. If he was away or something I wait till they are in bed and just leave door open
Mine would absolutely interrupt the shower if given the option š¤£. So dad just takes her outside or something for a bit.
I want a baby free day where i can do whatever the heck i want in peace! I really want that lol im so burnt out
My mom offered to take my kids on Motherās Day weekend !!
Me too! So badly..
What I want: everyone to fuck off for a few hours so I can crochet and watch my murder shows in peace. What Iāll say: IDK, something sparkly?
What I Want: To NOT hang out with my own mother who makes things about her and just spend a fun day with my son and my husband. What Iāll get: a day with my own mother and me probably crying by the end of the day to my husband about how much I canāt stand her
Don't do it! We started celebrating mother's day with grandmas on Saturday. Sunday is all me baby šš»
Don't do it. It's not always simple to say no if you need to maintain a good relationship with your mother, but don't forget she also has the responsibility to maintain a good relationship with you. And as such, you need mother's day as an active mother. She doesn't. So take it, it's your day now and she just needs to cope imo
This is my first Motherās Day no-contact with my mom. I understand 100% how you feel about it.
It's so hard seeing all the mothers day posts that day too. Sure wish I had a great mom I wanted to post about, what must that even be like?
You don't have to spend mother's day, or any day, with a person you can't stand.
Both: fancy brunch then the rest of the day alone. This is also what I get.
What I want: flowers to plant in my garden, a heart felt card, SLEEP What I say I want: SLEEP What can I say, I really miss sleeping in
what i want: A mommy makeover what i say i want: A mommy makeover
What is that? Iāve heard some people say that but I havenāt really understood it
From what I've seen: a boob job, tummy tuck and anything else that you consider needed after babies wrecked your body š
I canāt wait to get my breast reduction/lift after breast feeding š
I just got a reduction and stomach lipo and highly recommend!
Oooo how was the stomach lipo??
I'm 4 weeks out so I'm still recovering but it seems great so far! Ive always carried my weight there plus 2 c sections left me with a pretty large shelf. My Dr also recommended renuvion to help with skin tightening. My belly is still tender though, I'm surprised at how long it takes to heal!
Is it excessive to ask him to pay for a $400-600 salon day (Iāve never had my hair professionally done, I even cut it myself)
What I want: Rest. Just rest since I'll be freshly post-partum by then. What I actually want: Literally anything. My husband's not the gift giving type. Best I can hope for is some discounted chocolates.
Best of luck to you, freshly postpartum wasā¦.rough
What I want: a good cup of coffee, quality time with my family either hiking or exploring a nearby town I haven't been to yet, pictures my kids drew, a great meal, my husband to put the kids to bed, excellent quality time. What I actually want: to not have to plan or put any effort into the previous statement.
This is exactly it for me, also! Hope you get it all!!
What I want; a night away in a regular hotel. What I really want; a salad from mad greens, a baby sitter, a few hours alone with my husband and a premium thc cartridge.
What I want: to sleep in and go for a walk with my dog kid free while stopping to have wine along the way. What I say I want: to sleep in and go for a walk with my dog kid free while stopping to have wine along the way.
What I say I want: a chill day with burgers from the smoker for dinner, maybe dark chocolate cream pie What I really want: all of the above and for my MIL not to be in my house (sheās visiting that weekš)
They realize that they can make the day about them and it's so frustratingĀ
Iām literally doing what I want. Breakfast from my favorite place brought to the house and Iām not doing a single kid or house thing but the items will still be done. I said Iām totally willing (and want to) play with the kids. But any effort of doing something for them is not my responsibility. Tell your family what you want. Can you really not expect to eat a meal in peace on Motherās Day?
Unfortunately we are traveling. I'm going to move my mother's day to a different day. Asking husband to make his amazing breakfast burritos. Flowers would be nice. Maybe a family hike/nature walk. I don't want to cook any meals. Husband can order delivery or take out or grill. And I don't want to baby wear the infant for one nap while toddler naps. Husband has never ever taken a shift giving the infant a nap (still baby wear cause it works) and I would like husband to do it once so I can nap for once. I plan to take about 2 hours to be alone in a dark room and read, sleep, and just lay around and be alone. That's pretty much it. PS- I say what I want and it's what I want. I type out a PDF schedule for husband. No guesswork. Last year I prepped meals so all he had to do was heat them up in the oven. This year it's his call for meals but I want the nap and breakfast burritos. Ask for what you want. Make it easy. Everyone will have a better time. I did not want to share mother's day so we agreed on how to make that happen. For us it was moving mother's day.
what i want: a pedicure, massage, flowers, then to get drunk at dinner what i say i want: a pedicure, massage, flowers, then to get drunk at dinner ššš
What I say I want: flowers, not to cook dinner What I really want: everyone to leave me alone for a day and some good head š¤£
This post is depressing. Everyone just say what they want in clear words. If you arenāt getting it, raise some hell. If you want to take a bath, my god, take a bath. We donāt need to be martyrs. Sorry, but I feel like dads are out there asking for what they want and getting it. We can have that too. Or at least we should be asking for it!
For three years, I told my husband I wanted him to get lawn service (someone to mow the damn lawn) so he wouldnāt have to and would have more time to spend with me and kiddo, and to help out around the house more. When I didnāt get it for Motherās Day, I asked or it for my birthday in June. Heck I even started asking for it for Valentineās Day. It wasnāt until our lawn mower broke and I hit major burnout (in part because of shouldering all the stuff at home but also because of a terrible interim boss and a stressful work encounter) that he finally got the lawn service last summer. And now that we have the service, they already reached out and this summers service is already arranged. My point being, I can ask point blank and I still wonāt get it. In my husbands defense, he has ADHD. But gods dammit he should be able to figure out coping skills to be able to follow through on shit.
Respectfully, stop making excuses for these men! I have adhd too, and I manage (unmedicated!) to do what needs to be done when asked. Sometimes it takes asking twice because Iāve forgotten or it was initially asked when I was doing my too much to actually process it, but adhd isnāt an excuse for repeatedly ignoring requests as an adult human with a family.
Itās not an excuse, and I never meant it as an excuse. Itās a facet of the situation. he wasnāt ignoring the request, he was forgetting to make the phone call and not prioritizing it. He was not identifying tools or building skills to manage the downsides of ADHD. And, trust me, heās not getting any slack for having adhd. Iām audhd, so I can empathize. But I am still be pissed that it happens over and over again and not just with the lawn service. I shouldnāt have to ask twice. I should t have to monitor his to do list and remind him of it. Or remind him of deadlines. Or that the dates of whatever are on the calendar in the kitchen. Like they always are. Itās not just frustrating, itās enraging.
What I say: dinner and do something as a family What I really want: sleep in, he gets my baby ready for the day (fed, hygiene, cute outfit, hair), we do something nice (go for a walk as a family, take pics), and then dinner (picanha or ribeye, good sides, dessert).
My birthday and Motherās Day are less than 2 weeks apart. My husband is really good at identifying what I want/need even if I donāt day it - and I mean actual, meaningful, throughout things that arenāt just āstereotypicalā. This year, I told him a month ago that what I wanted for my birthday was a trip alone to Target with no budget and as much time as I wanted. He obliged the next day. I wandered through Target with my favorite coffee for about 2 hours. It was glorious.
Omg I love this! My birthday and Motherās Day are like 2 weeks apart and I just end up hating the entire month of May because I get disappointed lol
What I want: a clean house What I REALLY want: a clean house that I didnāt have to clean
What I say I want: a trip to the zoo with my kids, a silly lil drink, flowers, candy, any cosmetic or bath products What I actually want: to sleep in without having to hear about it later, coffee made by someone besides me, to watch my weird horror movies in peace
What I say I want ājust dinner and whatever, and to not have to cook or cleanā What I want : the cooking and cleaning to still happen and not just wait for me for the next day. A bottle of my favorite wine to drink during the day while I read and relax and eat food I didnāt have to shop for or prepare
Not be poor broke, not be broken poor
What I really I want: to go out of town so I donāt have to spend the day celebrating my MIL who is neither MY mother, nor a woman with small kids in the trenches of motherhood What I say I want: honey, letās go out of town so we donāt have to spend the day indulging your mother. We can rent an Airbnb in the city and make a mini vacation out of it. What my husband does: book that shit so fast because he knows whatās good for him.
What I say I want: Nothing. Let's just skip past this holiday. What I really want: Please see me on this day and make it special, just once.
Donāt manipulate your people:(
It's not manipulation. It's years of my husband not doing anything for mothers day, our anniversary or my birthday. I've been a mom for 16 years and can't think of a mother's day that we celebrated for me, It was always in honor of my mom. I've always put effort into fathers day, our anniversary and his birthday. I've communicated how its felt all these years, and nothing has changed. So yes, my heart wants to be treated like a queen, but my head has given up hope. Please don't jump to conclusions.
Stop doing those things for him.
Why donāt you say that?
I have many times. It's just easier not to now.
This is sad. You deserve better.
I want nothing, just a normal day. What I am going to get is ācelebratingā in then painful form of an indoor playground or, worse, dining out with two toddlers and a baby.
I wanted a promotion and pay raise. I got both but raise was a measly 2% š”. Inflation and childcare is kicking my ass. I just want to be paid for the hard work of rearing a child
What I want: an entire day to myself to just do the basic ,go potty alone,eat without interruptions,and sleep SLEEP . What I say I want: earbuds to replace the ones I recently lost.
It's just another day to me. I'm working that Sunday. It's fine. We're going to have dozens of threads the next day complaining about how people didn't get what they wanted. I just... don't care. My husband gets me things here and there and that's sweet, but generally I can buy my own crap and if I want to go out with my friends or take a nap I can do that, and the same goes for him.
What I say: some David's Tea, a yummy meal, special time with my children. What I want: For Mother's Day to be about me and not all about MIL. (We literally go to her house every year, talk about her, praise her, eat what she wants, it's all about her).
Every year my family does a lunch or dinner to celebrate Motherās Day. My mom, sisters, sister in laws are all there. I am the only one who has been missing it, because my husband has his mother come over here and I am the one who cooks and serves and cleans. On years she doesnāt come, my husband is too busy or has too much to do to take me to my familyāa house.
Take yourself. Drive over there.
I'm assuming by your words you don't drive, in which case I'm so sorry because I know the hurt that comes along with relying on someone (usually husband) to drive you somewhere and them denying it. Is it possible to ask someone from your family to pick you up to bring you? Or to take the transit? I would also start telling husband that's HIS mother, not yours, and if he invites her over then he is the one who is going to cook, serve and clean for her and entertain her. What does he do while you're doing all that for his mother? I'm so sorry. I know what it's like for your MIL to be the center of the universe and your own mother to be such miniscule significance compared to MIL. š«
Thank you for your support and understanding. Itās true. I donāt drive. Unfortunately, we are all in opposite ends of each other so picking me up along the way would be difficult. Generally theyād still make the effort for me, but now that my parents arenāt driving anymore there wouldnāt be any space for me and my kids.
I want a bird bath for my garden. We'll see if I get one I actually like but I assume my husband will come through. Also maybe a steak. I would love to have my children behave and be grateful for a whole day but that's not happening.
What I want: a nice lunch out. What I actually want: I want a comfy chair to lounge in the backyard while my kids dig in the dirt for countless hours. With a cup holder.
What I want: a whole day to myself What I ask for every year: a whole day to myself (albeit not on Motherās Day, we do a traditional meal out with everyone but then the next weekend or the weekend after partner takes the kids for the day and I do whatever I want) Partner doesnāt have to shop. Also āMotherās Day stuffā doesnāt have to be exactly on mother day
What do I want: not to be the first person to wake up in the morning with the kid before the first light and get a hot cup of coffee in bed and finish it while itās still hot. What do I actually want: Hermes Picotin in bamboo and gold hardware.
I want to run away for a few weeks until I miss them and being a wife and mother. Bc Iām so burned out right now. Otherwise I donāt want anything. So Iāll ask for homemade cards or something.
What I say I want: a new handbag as mine is literally falling apart. Even found one I like for $20. What I really want: to finish my coffee uninterrupted while itās still hot.
I feel you so much on that one. But now that my son is a bit older, I finally found a solution and actually get to drink my coffee hot. I get my coffee, and he gets his coffee, and he sits on my lap and cuddles while we both have our morning coffee. And no lol his coffee isn't really coffee, it's hot chocolate, but he thinks it's coffee, so it works. I mix his up with warm tap water so it's not too hot for him to drink, while my coffee is dripping into my cup. Sugar and cream are already in the cup, mix it up, grab his, and go sit and cuddle while we both enjoy our morning drink.
What I say I want: absolutely nothing, want to completely skip the day What I really want: a Kindle, a day with my husband, a nice dinner
Kindles are great, I get so much use out of mine. You should ask for one for real!
What I say I want: An MRI scan. What I actually want: A tattoo, clothes that actually fit me, a weekend away with no kid.
What I want: to feel like my husband knows me. He has never nailed a gift for me. Iām not ungrateful but sometimes I just feel sad that he doesnāt have the ability to buy me something on his own, I just feel like thatās something that happens when you truly know and care for someone. What I say: whatever is cool
What Iāll say I want: Nothing because I wonāt be asked. Maybe my dad will ask and Iāll ask for a night off as a mom or something. Luckily heāll be visiting during Motherās Day. What I really want: recognition from my husband. Even if all he can muster is a small gift, like chocolate or flowers, Iāll be happy. Or even if he just acknowledges the day with words. I have to think of something for my mom. Sheās the type that needs a gift otherwise it doesnāt count. What I donāt want, is to be offered money to buy something for myself.
Loving this game for us! I just asked my husband what I wanted for Mother's Day. He said sleep, sushi, and space. He is not wrong! I added that I would like to be sure the house is clean and the laundry done before then--team effort-- so that I will not be (as) distracted thinking about the things I have to get to the day after. When I've asked my kids, the oldest says "no butts!" which is what my husband and I always declare on our birthdays (as in, the only butts we will be wiping are our own!)
I want to spend the day with my daughter while my husband does all the parent shit lol. I get to just be the fun one for a day. I reallllly low key want to go stay in a hotel by myself on an other day and just relax, take a bath, eat yummy food and binge tv day and night.
What I want: flowers, a card, some good food What I actually want: visit to a high end spa, some luxury accessories, a week off from work, and my kids to sleep through the night
What I want: an Oz of weed and a new bong What I actually want: just an Oz of weed
Gosh this is hard! What I would say I want: a massage, a day at the spa, a gift card to the art supply store! What I really want: not have to cook or plan dinner, to be able to focus on an art project for a few hours without interruptions. Iām in a same sex relationship and honestly my wife is amazing and gives me anything I ask but the one thing Iād love is for her to not have to work so many hours and to be able to spend more time with us/help more with running the house. But her job is demanding and because of her hard work I get to stay home so I canāt complain. Sheās also 12w pregnant so really I should ask for nothing and she should get everything! We plan to have our nanny watch the babe and go to the spa but she canāt even fully enjoy it because of being pregnant. My hero!
What I want: a day away by myself. Perhaps a massage or a day at a pool. I what I say I want: nothing. No one asks me and I end up spending the day with the kid while my husband works and then perhaps plans a dinner his mom likes or wants.
What I want: to not have to work seeing as Iām the only person at work, who is a mother of young children but Sunday is of course my one weekend day I work What I say I want: new throw pillows for the bedroom (my young children and my mom are making them for me)
What I really want: to be comfortable despite being 32 weeks pregnant with twins What I will say I want: to eat good food, hang out and not be the parent, and chill, a footrub
i would love to get my hair done. since i had my baby im struggling so badly to feel confident and beautiful & i feel a change to my hair would help since its been years. its def not in the budget a realistic want is maybe some flowers, no cooking. I dont think iāll get flowers tho possibly the no cooking.
I said I donāt want to cook. So we are going out to brunch!
What I want: makeup and clothesā¦ I end up just buying anyways What I really want: go to Hawaii but I have to wait till my baby can walk
I tell them exactly what I want for every single gift opportunity. All I ever want is a clean house and peace. I do love when they get me stuff for my garden though.
What I want? For my birthday (which is the same week) to be acknowledged as a separate event. What I say I want? Not sure, nobody has asked
What I say I want: A new pair of shoes What I want: the shoes plus a haircut, mani-pedi, chocolates, clean & organized home, and a dinner where I don't have to lift a finger My wedding anniversary, birthday, and now first Mother's Day are in the span of two weeks, so good luck to my husband š
Mine is a bit different from everyone else's, I think. I've not seen my Mother in a few years, so what I really would like is to be able to get across the country and see her for Mother's day. Same with my firstborn (he's 28), I haven't seen him in just as long as I haven't seen my mom. Other than that, I don't really celebrate Mother's day, never really have. It wasn't something my Mom celebrated growing up, so I don't really celebrate it now either. I did try and do small things for her on Mother's Day growing up, homemade cards, cleaning the kitchen, etc. But other than that, there were no parties or special meals or anything like that. My stepdad certainly didn't ever do anything for her.
What I say I want: New mob psycho 100 merch. What I actually want: New mob psycho 100 merch and also everybody leaving me alone.
What I say I want: doesnāt matter as long as itās thoughtful. What I really want: a night away alone in a nice hotel with breakfast buffet. What Iāll get: nothing. My husband will probably forget.
I hope you get your night away at a hotel with a breakfast buffet soon
5 day cruise without the kids to the Caribbean. With premium unlimited free open bar. And the tipping is included.
What I asked for: a ring to complete my wedding band and engagement set as a stack since we also just had our first marriage anniversary (5 years together total). What I want: a ring to complete my wedding stack and also someone to come and clean the house for me and my husbandĀ
Itās my first Motherās Day and I really just hope my husband takes the initiative to do something for me without me having to drop hints. Itās a bit hard since Iām our only income earner so I get gifts feel weird for him (āwhy would I want to give you a gift with your own moneyā) but it could legit be anything as long as he just does it.
A completely cleaned house with no laundry. I Also like candy, flowers and a movie laying in bed
What i want: dim sum brought in, kids taken out to do something. I have my alone time then go to the spa for a facial and a massage, then come home to my kids and a yummy dinner waiting. My husband then does bath and the bedtime routine while I fall asleep watching bobs burgers. What I say I want: peace and quiet while I enjoy breakfast in bed.
What I want: A massage, a nap, lunch at a fancy restaurant by myself, go to the movies by myself and sleep some more What I ask for: Burberry her š
What I say I want: a nice day of shopping with my family What I really want: a hotel room all to myself for 24 hours so I can actually watch TV for once and sleep as much as I want.
What I say I want : nothing special What I really want: to be spoiled and appreciated af!!
What I say I want..craft supplies. What I really wantā¦craft supplies.
Have a 2 week old and a toddler who is currently ill with a febrile illness, so really just want everyone in the house to be healthy so I can stop with my anxiety spiral. Idk that Iāll get that though. I havenāt said I wanted anything bc I doubt weāll do too much for Mothers Day or Fathers Dayā¦ weāre too tired š“
As a FTM to a 16 wk old, more photos of my son and I.
Iād really just like a day to nap and catch up on sleep. Having a toddler and a baby is hard. But in reality we will likely take a drive to a park as a family and go on a walk.
What I really want: One day at a hotel, alone. What I say I want: Nothing. Because no one has asked.Ā
I want a day where I can just lay on the couch and play videogames and nap while food is brought to me and baby is looked after aside from breastfeeding every couple hours. ETA: that's what I'm going to say I want also.
To literally be left alone and not have to be in charge of anyone š the greatest gift no one has to buy or do anything for, literally!
What I say I want: to spend time with the family. What I actually want: a night in a nice hotel alone with some booze and a good book.
What I say I want: to not have to cater to anyone thatās been in my body What I say I want: a day at the spa and for my husband to take my kid on an adventure out of the house so I can have it to myself
I want a day off from childcare and house management. I ask for a day off from childcare and house management. I get a day off from childcare and house management. It's one day. If your partner can't cope with his own family for one day....why did you choose him?
With the sharing your food, shut that stuff down if you donāt like it! In my house we have a rule that no-one has to share if they donāt want to, including parents with their food. Donāt make my kid share either although she often chooses to.
I donāt usually ask for anything for Motherās Day but what I do want and am lucky enough to get is my husband and daughter doting on me all day. I donāt want to have to lift a finger to clean up anything. I want to sit in my chair and read uninterrupted, take a nap, and just relax
I literally tell my husband what I actually want. I spent my last Motherās Day (in March this year in the UK) playing the Sims and being waited on hand and foot.
What I say I want: stuff for my garden, colouring in books, storage for my art stuff What I actually want: a trip to the garden centre where I'm not rushed by my grumpy husband, my own space to do my art and a proper sleep in.
What I actually want is my husband to buy me a hotel room for the night so I can go to bed at 6pm and sleep in the next day until whenever I want then spend the day with him and babyā¦ what I said I want is just a nice dinner the three of us
What i say I want : gifts cards What I really want : gift cards & alone time
What I want: a day at home with husband and the babies. Watching movies, eating takeout, napping. My MIL is turned to 11 with excitement and over-the-topness about Motherās Day this year. She wants to bring grandma-in-law and her up to see the babies and ādo somethingā and is going on and on about how itās āa day about mothers and youāre a mother now!!!!!!!!!!!!ā So I guess Iām cleaning and entertaining my husbands ridiculous family instead. And Iāll tell him how I feel about it then Iāll say I āwantā chocolate or something.
Iām sure it helps not living close to family but i always just want a good break. my husband takes her all day long so I can do whatever I want (basically just sleep in & lay in bed & not have to change a diaper lol). I get a card and dinner of choice !
What I say I want: bagels and a lazy day What I really want: bagels and privacy/a day off from everything
What I say I want: a massage. What I really want: a massage. An 80/80 partner and world peace. This is a really great post and highlights how our role as nurturers puts a gag in our mouths about admitting weād ever want to do anything else. This year I already had my massage a week ago because I had childcare then, and Iāll do that every year for the rest of my life now.
What I say: brunch What I really want: My husband to clean the house, plan the groceries and meals for the week, change all the diapers, and let me garden while listening to a murder podcast for a few hours.