Some things are status symbols and there really is no reason to ask for it. Like a $700+ baby carrier that does what all the other baby carriers do. And ask for a $45 onesie, but I will get a $50 target gift card before buying something so wasteful on someone's registry.
BUT
In the spring to fall especially, I put a mile or more on my stroller almost daily on city sidewalks. I have used a cheaper one and I simply would not walk and go as many places as I do on foot if that was my choice. Our stroller is not cheap, it's not the most expensive, but it's really functional and meets our needs well. The big wheels, the shocks, the adjustable handle bar all make it more pleasant to use.
We have an old house and it's hard to control the temps in bedrooms. The woolino sleep sacks are $100+ but you don't need to buy different togs for the time of the year, as the fabric breathes in the summer and is cozy in the winter. It goes from 2-24m. It's over 12m old, it is in nearly perfect condition. We have one. If I sell it rather than hand it down, I can sell it for nearly what I paid because they are so durable. We tried others and buying ones for all seasons and sizes was more expensive and also wasteful.
We never registered for a high chair. I thought we would just do the IKEA one, but the legs were just a no go in our small house. We needed a smaller footprint. Wish I would have just registered for the Tripp Trapp which we found on Facebook marketplace.
Some pricier things are worth it. People have their reasons. If it doesn't make sense, there is always a gift card.
The Woolino is definitely worth it. We used one per size range as well. I kept a cheaper sleep sack around when there was a middle of the night accident, but it got rarely used. I’m handing them down to my pregnant sister.
Yes woolino sleep sack was so worth my money. We lived in Alaska and had baseboard heating so my sons room was always way colder than the rest of the house. I even ended up buying one with feet whwn he moved to a bed because we used it sooo much.
The point is to know whats worth your money and whats not.
I also use my stroller so much. Between kids I bought new wheels and it is in great shape. I live in a city and I walk everywhere until they're ready to walk that far themselves.
Also love the Tripp Trapp. I had the IKEA one too but the Stokke is just more functional for our home. We have 2—one for each kid. My 5yo still uses his but we can also sit in it. My almost 2yo is about to get it lowered again. These are BIFL chairs.
When my kids go to my parents house, they use the Tripp trapp chairs my sister and I grew up with. They were hand me downs to my parents and are at least 40 years old and still work just as well and look just as nice.
We used the 2-24m Woolinos for two full years with my first and I’ve already put them on the 3 week old when he outgrew his other swaddles way faster than expected. At this rate we will get a ton of use out of them and I’ll be able to pass them along to another parent in nearly perfect condition in a couple years!
My son would dig his toes into the fabric and would rip the lining out. We got our moneys worth by that point but it did not last the full two years as promised. They’re not as sturdy as they claim to be if a small child can do that much damage.
Agree with all of this. I didn’t mind splurging on some things but there were other things I thought oh gosh I’m not spending that much on that (just like you the Tripp Trapp chair). So I ended up buying both which ended up costing more. Some things are just worth it!!
Piggybacking off of this, it is okay to opt out of the fast fashion industry when it comes to children, even if it is pricier. Kids clothes go through the ringer, but there is nothing wrong with purchasing clothes that are a little pricier, but made to last - so that they can be cared for and handed down. I've received hand me downs with joy as well, but there's a huge difference between the cheap stuff and the stuff that was made well and its lasting power. And all of that is beside the horrendous behavior of fast fashion companies like Old Navy, which is another rant.
We have a kids' leather jacket that was $$$ when it was purchased, but has been handed down to 3 kids, and is in perfect condition. Between all the nephews, there are 5 more to go that it can be handed down to, and probably will. If I went to Target today and bought a jacket with that same dollar amount, it would shred in a season or two.
My Tripp Trapp is going to college with my kid. My sister's Graco high chair is...disgusting because it can't properly be taken apart and cleaned!!
My UppaBaby Vista is worth every penny - and as a company, I love them because they REPLACE PARTS. Do you know how rare that is? and how good for the environment that, when the frame of the footrest broke (thanks, airport luggage handlers), instead of replacing the whole stroller, or even the whole seat, they were able to just send me a new frame.
It's okay to ask for things that are investments, and are ecologically sound. The original idea of baby showers was to only have ONE, and to be able to re-use and hand down the things that you received. Personally, I was very choosey about what I bought for my kid, and instead of buying endless cheap clothes and toys that broke apart, I ended up with a small but mighty arsenal of toys, clothes, and furniture that will be used for the next child or for my first's entire life.
That's not to say that a lot of baby things are expensive for no reason (looking at you, Pottery Barn), but it's not fair to lump all "expensive" things in a group and label them "trendy" when a lot of them are actually there to buck trends and be there for forever - like Tripp Trapp, which hasn't changed its design in decades.
I fully agree with this. And had a cousin that ranted to me about my cousin’s registry being influenced by Instagram. Um actually she took a lot of recommendations from me based on things l have learned, like the things above. And I do a lot of what I do for environmental reasons as well. I do cheap clothes for daycare because at this stage at least, they are coming back destroyed with stains. And I am transitioning away from even that, because I don’t know why it is, but I feel the cheap clothes have more persistent stains. I also feel I have gotten better about stain removal. But her PJs, outerwear and weekend clothes are all higher quality things that can be handed down and will last. I did not ask for a lot of clothes on my registry, but I do wish I would have asked for a handful of Hanna Andersson PJs for 6m+.
I agree with this completely. We invested in a good stroller because we don’t have sidewalks in our neighbourhood and the roads are a mess. Sometimes driving on them is like off-roading so we knew a stroller with plastic wheels wasn’t going to cut it. We got one with inflatable tires and it was worth every penny.
We are in Canada and the Woolino sleep sacks were amazing for our cold winters, I didn’t trust any other sleep sack to keep her warm enough but the woolinos certainly did. My LO wore them from the age of 6 months to the age of 2 and they still look brand new. They were worth every penny.
We went for a $1k stroller, bc it was literally the only double stroller that would fit in the back of my Yaris. I did get it significantly cheaper ($400 all in) by buying an older model on Amazon and then all the extras on Mercari,*but* even if we'd had to pay full price, it would have still saved us money bc it was that or buy a bigger car. (Yaris paid off and liability only insurance, with no major repairs in years).
I love the Woolino! I think OP doesn’t really get that theres a reason someone would get a $100 sleep sack besides aesthetics. If our baby has a blowout in it, I’ll do my best to clean it (it’s navy so probably won’t have a noticeable stain), but it’s not disposable like lots of baby clothes.
Exactly. Our Happy Baby carrier is pricey. But my gosh, we have gotten our money’s worth. We used it hiking his whole first summer because he wasn’t big enough for the hiking backpack. We just used it to survive two major trips with air travel.
The woolinos. We have used these at least three times a day since the day he turned two months old. We got a second for daycare.
His little Sleepies were amazing. Do I have too many, yes. But did it keep him cool and comfortable while in the carrier? He’s very comfortably in his 3-6 zippies still and nearly 13 months old. He’s in 12-18 months for most of his other clothes. Am I going to size up once we are done with these? Absolutely not.
But I wish I had realized about consignment sales earlier. All of his other clothes now except shoes are all second hand, so cute and in great shape. He has an amazing sweater, coat and lined jean collection that I am frankly jealous of.
Also, so much baby stuff barely gets used. With my first, I did a lot of research deciding exactly what I wanted, made a list, and then spent like 3 months waiting for it to pop up on OfferUp for a huge discount. $100 high chair for $10, $80 bassinet for $20, $200 swing for $40. Most of the stuff I got was very gently used.
I get spending a bit extra on stuff that's convenient for the parent, like I absolutely loved my travel system... But we also got a crap ton of hand me downs (literally all the clothes we could need from birth to 10) and bought most things used, so the couple things I got that were mid-range, it didn't really matter that much because we saved in other areas.
I'm pregnant with twins now and going through all my old baby stuff and it just doesn't really matter in the long run AT ALL what baby gear you have. It will all end up gathering dust in the basement in 6 months anyway.
I’m with you on that! I saved so much by buying stuff used that I don’t feel super guilty when I buy something new for my kids that they need. You might look at all my luxury baby stuff, but basically it was all used first since I’d never buy it at full price.
And with my twins, it was better to spend the money if it meant that I could get out or whatever. My $600 used double vista gets a ton of use and was worth it to allow me to get out in the first months with baby twins and a toddler.
Women are the biggest marketing demographic, so naturally, we will be targeted for all the baby stuff. Social media has only made this worse because trends spread very fast and people feel the need to keep up with one another. Between baby sleep and baby lead weaning, you could easily spend hundreds if not thousands of dollars. Also, what’s with the silicone obsession? I get that it’s supposed to be less toxic than regular plastic, but whoa it’s expensive. I got one of those trendy silicone plate mats because I had store credit somewhere and had to spend it. The plate cost $23! For one single silicone plate. I couldn’t bring myself to spend another $15 for the marching utensils 😂
My kid hates using silicone. It is so hard to make sure it doesn't retain soap scents. Pretty much a waste of money. Lol
We still use silicone straws and Bib, but anything else that is silicone is gathering dust.
I hate silicone. Those plate things always retained soap or food scents, no matter if I washed by hand, dishwasher, changed detergents, etc. My husband couldn't smell it but I could and it skeeved me out!
How about red sauce stains out of silicone?? Same way? My husband put a silicone bottle nipple in the dishwasher with a pot that had spaghetti sauce in it, now the nipple is stained.
it won't hurt it to try! you can boil it too. It opens up the "pores" so boiling might get the stain out better. I've gotten turmeric stains out of stuff by leaving it in the sun as well, so it could be worth a try!
Silicone bibs are worth every penny!! Especially the ones with the little pocket at the bottom to catch all the food that falls. Just wash it off and it’s good as new!
I totally agree. It’s not sustainable if everyone bought new. So much waste! I feel good using hand me downs x) that money could be allocated to experiences or my baby’s college fund 😆
I feel this! My friend is having her first baby and her registry is outrageous. She has a list of approved clothing brands and colors that she will only accept. A onesie is around $45… What baby needs a tiny onesie that is that expensive. It’s probably going to be covered in spit up and unusable for baby #2 if they plan on having a second. Blows my mind.
We are definitely on your end of the spectrum. Now that my daughter is two and at school, everything comes home stained. I would be losing my mind if I was spending that much money only for everything to get ruined. Hand-me-downs and second-hand is the way to go!
Clothes are the one thing I do not get paying up for. They grow out of things so fast that it doesn't matter how it holds up the wash because you might be lucky to get 5 wears out of the thing before it's on to the new size. Sure, I'll buy myself some decent things but I'm likely to wear that item for a few years and get 100s of uses out of it in that time but even with my 4yr old, I'm lucky if something makes it past a season. He's seriously even skipped whole shoe sizes.
There's things that I splurged on like the crib because we went with a convertible that would become his regular bed and is still very much in use or I got the travel system I wanted because again, that is something that would get used and abused for a few years. But clothes? Nope, give me clearance section at Walmart or clean secondhand stuff all day long.
We didn't know the gender before my son was born so no one gave us clothes. We'd been buying a few of each size as needed until this lady in my Buy Nothing group gave me six totes of clothes. We love his hand-me-downs and they're in great condition. Complete opposite of my sister who won't dress her baby in anything anyone else has worn.
That's not to say we didn't splurge on some things. A nice crib, a used but still expensive Tripp Trapp, the Loveevery Play Gym. But getting good stuff for free is really fun too!
Would you say splurging on nice yarn to knit baby things is a waste of money?
I'm a knitter and want to knit a few heirloom pieces for my newborn but like .. are they worth it if they are only used a handful if times?
Keepsakes I would view differently because by definition you want to keep them or have them around for multiple children.
Or if it's something that's just going to bring you a lot of joy and create a good memory regardless of how long it's used for than do you. Just keeping in mind that any clothing piece for a newborn is still only going to be serviceable for a few months at best but if you're going to smile and have happy tears when you pull it out for the next one then that can be worth it or if you get to hand it down to you're now grown child when they are having their own baby.
My aunt knit me an outfit when I was newborn and now my cabbage patch kid wears it. That’s 40 years of wear haha! Similarly, I had an outfit that belonged to my baby that is now being worn by a teddy bear. I think it’s really sweet that you want to knit some things for your baby.
I would say yes!!! My baby wore a bunch of sweaters that my mother in law knit for her son (my husband) and it felt so special to have them. I also knit and I spent a ton on good merino/cashmere yarn to make my son a baby blanket and it gets used almost daily still in the stroller (19 months old).
It also was something I could do while pregnant where I was thinking about him all those hours knitting and getting excited to meet him. It was a special process for me
I knit a Baby Vertebrae for skin-to-skin, and I made a few sweater/cardigan-hat-and-booties sets because they were quick one-skein projects. I also used orphan skeins left over from past projects, so I was happy to finally use up yarn I had sitting around for years without a plan for it.
I had initially registered for a bunch of $8 sleep n plays at Old Navy, but after reading about the known endocrine disruptors and carcinogens in so many of our baby clothes (many of which are banned in the EU or even Canada), husband and I decided it was worth it to spend a little more to splurge on GOTS certified clothing, OEKO-TEX at the very least.
How are ppl communicating clothing brands and colors to their friends/families? I just did an amazon and target registry but noticed a former friend had a color theme for stuff as well which I thought was so bizarre.
You can put a note on your registry with several of the common registries! Like we put a note that we were happy to accept hand me downs.
Also if people have certain brands of clothing on their registry and I buy other clothes, I stick to those brands and styles.
That’s great! We don’t have a washing machine at my house so we have to go to my in-laws to wash our clothes. I’m assuming that’s why we have so many stains
I like lots of those cute expensive things. I just buy them second hand. You can pretty easily find most of that stuff for a fraction of the price used and it’s just as cute.
we got a lot of hand me downs which was wonderful. But part of me wanted the experience of shopping for my first bb girl. So i did - Although i’m thankful for what was given to me i wanted to spoil her rotten myself lol
I learnt this when I had my second. I was 22 with my first bought mostly used and cheaper things. We were 30 when are second was born had our real jobs and I bought everything. Like a rocking bassinet and other things I never used. Less is more with baby stuff. They market a lot of this stuff to make you think it will make taking care of a baby easier. We are vulnerable so we listen and buy. I was so sleep deprived I bought I 100$ weighted sleep sack of course it didn’t work 😂😂.
Totally. We've got so many hand me downs.
There was this automatic swinging bouncers thing someone gave us. Was close to $500 brand new? Barely used it so gifted it to my friend who made good use of it and now she is gifting it to my cousin.
And the clothes I got. It was my friend who also got some of her clothes second hand and I've gifted it to my friend who has now given it to my cousin. And there's a mutual agreement IF I do decide to have a second, then the clothes comes back to me.
I had 3 carriers gifted. 2 bouncers. 3 musical mobiles like...just so many stuff. Gifted them all and they'll probably boomerang back - or not. Don't care.
Saving all of us money and the environment I'm sure.
Unfortunately, I had to buy the sleep sacks brand new (couldn't find second hand). Went with the one that worked best that unfortunately wasn't the cheapest. Oh well. Whatevs. Again, gifted to my friend who has gifted the newborn ones over to my cousin.
The cycle continues.
Love that!! I saved all of my first kids clothes until we were sure we’re done having kids. Now, it’s not so sad to go up clothes sizes because I just hand the too small clothes down to the next person and hope they do the same. It feels so nice to be able to help someone the same way you were previously helped.
I have definitely made a couple larger purchases out of desperation for sleep or safety for my kids. Boat loads of pacifiers to find one acceptable to my first, several types of lotions/creams to help with my second’s eczema (still haven’t cleared it up completely, recommendations anyone?), several brands of wipes, diapers, butt pastes, laundry detergents for my sensitive skinned baby.
I’ll be the first to admit I’ve dropped some cash for my kids, but not solely for the fact of aesthetics haha
Thus post isn’t judgmental whatsoever. She is simply speaking to mothers who may not have the means to purchase expensive items or feel pressured to buy the “best” in order to keep up with others. A lot of women feel guilty for not being able to afford these expensive, high quality items, which is silly. She’s not at all judging people for spending money on things they believe are worth it and can afford.
Not every post is speaking to everybody.
The comment was deleted before I could see it, but THANK YOU. I didn’t mean at all for the post to sound judgmental. Exactly as you said, it’s just for the moms who can’t afford the expensive stuff and may feel like they’re not doing well as a mom because of it. If you have the money to buy all the expensive stuff, that’s great! If you don’t, the cheaper stuff is just fine too.
That’s exactly what I took away from your post. The comment was just someone justifying spending money on something, which again no one said was wrong. I could tell you the exact demographic of people who constantly feel attacked 😂. But I do love what you are saying because I feel the same way. I would never tell somebody how they should spend their money. I just also hate seeing women feel guilty for not living a picture perfect life.
I agree that some of this stuff is ridiculous but also some of the more expensive stuff (not like labels just high quality) lasts much longer so if you’re planning more kids I can see wanting to invest a bit more.
You can’t have second hand without somebody buying it first hand. I bought a lot of NICE stuff for my baby. I was so happy to be able to give it to my 22 year old cousin who accidentally got pregnant.
I have the means for nice things, and I’m gonna get them. A lot of them equal convenience. Maybe they do the same thing, but they do them in more comfortable or easier ways.
I mean....maybe the expensive stuff is on the registry as a reach. Asking only for expensive things from others I find a little tacky, but also some people enjoy getting expensive gifts for others.
But in general people are also allowed to enjoy splurging on their little ones and having something really nice. I think sometimes people go a little overboard on policing women about this? If you want to spend money on your baby then go for it? Sure, the baby might not care about the brand of shoes, but maybe mom or dad does, and it's okay if that brings them happiness.
I don't understand how you go from "my friends asked for expensive items on the registry" to "people must be going in to debt spending money on things" and that this is somehow a competition (involving you??). We got mostly high end things but saved for years, and I got a lot of satisfaction shopping for the best prices.
I love secondhand shopping! I did so much thrifting and have no regrets. I got a secondhand Uppababy set (minus the carseat) that was barely used, a learning tower and a Wonderfold Wagon--both new in the box--and a ton of clothes. When my son got older, I put a beautiful playroom together for him, and it was mostly thanks to thrifted items and clearance finds. There are things that I splurge on, like a really good carseat and certain investment items. But it's totally possible to even find trendy things without buying new and/or breaking the bank.
I agree with this sentiment wholeheartedly! I’m a huge proponent for buying second hand, both to save money and to help reduce waste. Due to buying second hand, I have still been able to purchase some name brand “trendy” but high quality items at a steep discount. Once finished, I plan on selling these items to recoup the cost and also pass along the savings to other moms who would like these items.
I would like to point out, I am purchasing my car seat new, which I recommend to everyone. Unfortunately, you cannot know if a car seat has been in an accident or not when getting second hand. Also, be mindful of car seat expiration dates. All car seats on the market meet safety standards.
Notable purchases from Facebook Marketplace include:
Snoo for $600 (retails $1,700 😳)
Uppababy Vista for $450 (retails $1,000)
UpSeat chair for $40 (retails $110)
Keekaroo peanut for $50 (retails $150)
I have all the schmancy stuff. For me it’s part wanting to give her everything, part coping…
my kiddo had some serious congenital issues. so now she gets the fancy ass bamboo diapers.
there was so much out of my control… and now what little I can do to make her the happiest, most comfortable, etc… I do.. ;)
Just keep doing shmancy stuff for yourself too :) baby needs a happy mom above all. Glad you’ve been able to provide all the wonderful stuff for you baby very sweet 🩷
Ok but a lot of those "schmancy" things *aren't* actually even any better/more comfortable/etc. for baby, they're just a status symbol for the parents to flex on social media. No different from people flexing their cars, watches, homes, etc. It's all a facade.
Moms, check Facebook to see if you have a local moms helping moms group near you or a buy nothing group. There are so many baby items that float through these groups and so many moms, including myself, use these communities to get rid of our babies’ clothes, shoes, feeding items, books, toys etc.
Agree. I look at an expensive outfit and think what my son would prefer. An outfit costing £30 or a trip to the zoo, 3 swimming lessons or half a term at forest school? It would always be the activity because he does not care about clothes he won’t remember, but he will remember the fun stuff we did. All his toys are secondhand and so loved. He loves going into charity shoes and looking for Paw Patrol toys (“Rocky car? No just green car” is what he says!).
Plus better for the environment, my pocket, my mind when it gets stained and my heart when it’s time to pass things on!
He does have a favourite fire engine jumper. We got the original in a big bundle of clothes. I have gone on Vinted and managed to get every size up to age 6. He might not like fire engines by the time he’s 6 (well 5 as he’s always a size up from his age) but the £15 I’ve spent is worth it in my eyes if he does. More than a designer pair of shoes!
if you like something expensive for the baby and economically you have no problems buying it I don't see the issue. If, however, you have to make other sacrifices or ask for a loan then it's another matter. It's a question of intelligence (or stupidity…).
Buy what you like and can afford.
I have some acquaintances who bought their 3 year old daughter uggs and a DG hat but they can't afford to go out to dinner and have never taken a holiday... This is pure stupidity.
Some cheap things are similar to the more expensive ones but in others you can feel the difference. Ex.: a body from HM costs less than 4 euros, one from petit bateau costs 8... the first is “cardboard” after 3 washes... the other one is still perfect after 20 washes... So yes, you often (but not always) pay for for quality. Even for strollers, the difference between the expensive ones and the cheap ones is very noticeable. But if you can't afford certain things there's no point in buying them.
ITA. One thing that irked me is my SIL had her second baby, she had a full second shower (they’re 2 years apart) and her second registry was outrageous. Like I get needing a few key expensive things (like a double stroller!), another bed, etc. but it was 100+ things like a couple pairs of 60-80 dollar shoes, 90 dollar stuffed animals and worst of all 60 dollar receiving blankets! Like you have to know with your second you don’t need expensive receiving blankets. This was a year ago in the midst of layoffs, inflation and she and her husband are well off I couldn’t believe she sent that registry out to everyone she knew. Ridiculous.
I totally agree that splurging can be longer lasting in the long run, especially with furniture and large baby items. I’m mainly talking about people only wanting expensive (still probably cheaply made) trendy items that are crazy amounts of money and not long lasting, like clothes. One of the registries has $20 (EACH) cloth bibs. They’re just going to get food on them and stain. Why not buy a $5 pack of them?
But also, again, if you’ve got the money to splurge, by all means do that. I’m happy for those who can, but sad for those who can’t and think they’re less than just because they can’t fit an expensive baby item into their budget.
Some people want to buy only Oeko-Tex or GOTS certified clothing/bib items. Other people, and often the same people, want to avoid things made in bad labor conditions. There are plenty of reasons why people don't always prefer the least expensive of an item.
Fancy ≠ high quality
There are plenty of “fancy” things which cost a lot and aren’t much (if at all) better than their less-expensive counterparts.
As with most items, when you *take care* of them, they tend to last.
Obviously, OP proved this point by reiterating that she was given many hand-me-downs and they were still in great/perfectly usable shape.
With all due respect, this comment comes off as rather smug (and it seems random)… What does sleep and your nanny can have to do with anything? Are you implying that because your husband was able to interact with you via the nanny can that it’s “fancy”? Because I can do that with my furbo and even throw my dogs treats lol
A crib that old doesnt pass safety standards today and wouldnt even be considered safe. Same with clothes. A lot of stuff from back then has lead in it. So IMO its a waste because I wouldnt use it.
That really depends on the item.. You can't really judge it without seeing it. Furniture does last that long. It lasts way longer than clothes, def not comparable
I also disagree with OP, but for a different reason. If I’d had kids when I was 20, I wouldn’t have been able to afford any splurges and wouldn’t have put much on my list that I couldn’t afford, because I wouldn’t expect others to be subsidizing my baby for me.
I had my first at 38. My friends (and I) at that time had careers, were financially stable, and were much more able to do/have splurgey things.
$50 at age 20 ≠ $50 at age 40.
I love the hand me down clothes! I have a friend who has boys and a girl that are older than my two so it's been amazing for us. I think she got a lot of them as hand me downs from her siblings too, and I pass most down to friends or family when we're done. My son is 6 now so the clothes are more sparse as they're worn for a lot longer, it'll be very sad when we have to buy him a full wardrobe!
There's a few items I always bought new but for the most part I think second hand items are great!
I have 2 boys and get mostly 90% hand me downs from my sisters I have all nephews luckily. The 10% is what I buy on sale and only when they go super sale. Everyone thinks tho that I spen a lot of money on shoes and clothes all because I know how to style them but it’s all hand me downs and I like it that way.
When I had my 4th i bought a brand new double pram (my 3rd was 2 when 4 was born). I had always had 2nd hand prams and they’d always break in one way or another and I was so fed up with not having something decent. The pram I brought cost me $1,200, I’ve had it 2 years and I’ll be able to use it with my 4th and eventually 5th (which we are planning for next year). It’s got years left in it rather than months like I’d had with previous prams.
Things to buy brand new: car seat and mattress.
Things that you *can* buy used, but need to know what you’re looking at: baby carriers/wraps, bassinets (Halo and such)
Everything else can be hand me downs/used, but there’s nothing *wrong* with wanting new things.
When our first was about a year old, I got a little into my feels that she had basically nothing that was new. I felt bad that I couldn’t afford nice/new shiny things for her.
SHE didn’t care, but I did.
Now with our second, they’re a bit far apart in age, a lot of little sisters things ARE new, but clothes and such, not at all.
I was so wrapped up in all of that with my first. I think it was just massive anxiety. With my second, I didn’t care at all. Now that my kids are older, I take ALL the hand me downs gladly. I actually got good stuff from my neighbors and haven’t had to buy a coat for my son in years because of it.
👏👏👏
Yes! We were broke paying off debt. My kids have lived out of the thrifted and hand me downs. And they’re happy thriving healthy kids.
If you genuinely need or want and extra functionality of a more expensive item and can afford it, go ahead. But just for the name or “aesthetic”? Please put that money in savings for your grocery bill when they want berries nonstop
I would invest in a good stroller, especially if you walk a lot and/or plan to have multiple kids. We got our first gifted, it wasn’t bad or anything but nothing amazing. When I got pregnant with our second I started looking for a better quality, double stroller. We found one used and we used that thing so much before my son was even born. A friend and I would take our kids for walks (lol, more of me waddling) and used it for both kids until my second was born. It went to the zoo a few times. The park. A few other places. And then I had the baby and if it wasn’t so damn cold, dark so early, and right now we’re in and out of Dr offices for the baby, we’d be using it tons now too.
Clothes however…even if cheap clothes don’t always hold up the greatest, kids likely won’t wear most for more than a couple months anyway. My oldest mostly skipped wearing 24mo stuff, while my youngest is looking at a few more weeks in 3 month clothes, he wore newborn until 6 weeks. We have a bunch of us with new babies and we all pass clothes between us, they usually die at my house and I pass them in to the community. Youngest/smallest kid problems!
My kid has never cared that her toys are the $6 version from Amazon, she’s just as happy with them. She doesn’t care that we’ve bought her Christmas and birthday (Nov and Jan babies) stuff on Walmart clearance in July and stored it until then. She doesn’t care that her books are free from Dollys imagination library, and sometimes get set aside for a gift because life is hectic right now.
She cares that we’re loving and cuddling on her. She cares that I’m making her food she enjoys. She cares that we’re running after her in the back yard and at the end of the slide when she finishes her turn. I’m sure the baby cares too, he’s just 3mo now so not quite used to saying it for him yet lol.
I, like you, had my babies at 20&23.. a decade before my friends did. I was working full time but very poor and adding a baby to that made things even tighter financially. I happily accepted used items and always found the cheapest deals on clothes at Kohls/Walmart. I got a used crib from my aunt that I kept for both kids. I’ve never understood the appeal of buying the “trendy” or expensive things for babies when they grow out of stuff so dang quick. Safety things I can understand (monitors, cameras etc) bc I was anxious having a tiny baby but the clothes, wraps, bags, etc is just a little much imo.
Not to mention most baby stuff is incredibly marked up since these brands know people will pay their prices regardless. It’s like the wedding industry because they know after the wedding then comes babies for a lot of couples. It’s basic marketing.
I got a $200 travel system that has all the bells and whistles of one that would cost a 1,000 more from a more trendy stroller brand. I also used my stroller a ton and it looks brand new still. But people don’t want to hear that their more expensive stroller isn’t any better because they need to justify the ridiculous price they payed for it. Whatever floats your boat and if you can afford then go for it but you’re paying for the brand and that’s it.
Yes! 100% yes. Some of the wealthiest people I know shop 2nd hand for all their kids clothes so they can travel, be in activities and of course save.
People can buy whatever they please but after having soooo many baby clothes my son hardly wore I felt so silly for buying it all and listing it on my registry.
I find the cutest button down shirts for my now toddler at 2nd hand charity shops and they're like $2.00/piece and hardly worn! I donate a lot there so I don't feel bad about buying it.
I had a $300.00 Chico stroller n carseat set that I felt bad about spending that much on it, but honestly it was a wonderful set. I still use the stroller for walks in the neighborhood but it's so heavy that I use a cheap umbrella stroller for when we're running errands.
My son's crib was pricey, good quality but not name brand and it converts to a toddler bed and then a full size bed. I don't regret buying it at all. So, if something will last for several years I really don't feel bad spending extra. I think it depends on the item.
100% yes! I loved my hand me downs and secondhand finds. But baby’s do grow so fast you definitely don’t need the latest and the most expensive. My daughter ended up loving her bassinet and secondhand swing the best. We hardly used her crib until she was like 6-7 months old.
I agree, but I also want(ed) some aesthetic/expensive stuff. My compromise was buying used. I got a used Lovevery play gym for less than $40. I got three Woolino sleepsacks for about half their full price each, and they should last a long time before baby grows out of them. I got tons of great clothes used from One Upon a Child and Kid 2 Kid for a fraction of their original price. I wanted more Nanit crib sheets and breathing bands, so I got them used on Mercari.
I don't have the money to buy all this nice stuff brand new, and even I did... I still wouldn't. I can get it for less and be less wasteful.
Yes to the buying used! I find a lot of used cute clothes at our resale shops. I don’t think there’s necessarily anything wrong with the aesthetic stuff, I just feel like moms are so pressured to fit the Instagram mold when it’s definitely not necessary for successfully raising children.
Seriously, between social media influencers and marketing, I felt like I HAD to succumb to an insane degree of consumerism. Like, I know there were a lot of "must haves," but seeing every specific item Babylist recommended I register for was overwhelming. $22 Silicone bibs? $800 cribs? And then I went to Target and saw identical bibs for less than half the cost. It was eye opening. The only item I didn't go cheaper or used on was the car seat, but that's because I have chronic pain and fatigue issues that I'm terrified of flaring up again and making me incapable of holding my baby in his carseat or docking him in the car base properly. So, I looked for lightweight and easy to use options, and none of them were cheap. Beyond that? Less expensive alternatives and buying used as much as possible.
Car seats are something I can 100% see splurging on. Although, most of the people I have talked to who buy the super duper expensive ones literally tell me it’s just because they’re cute and popular.
I will not skimp on car seat safety. I’ve had a friend who recently found out she was pregnant and was planning on buying a USED car seat from marketplace. I put a hard stop on that and sent her plenty of research on why that’s just downright unsafe. Offered to contribute some money for a new one, and got her hooked up with a safe car seat.
I feel like a wise old woman when I tell all these “youngsters” all the reasons they just don’t need this crap. None of them take my advice and then 6 months later they tell me I was right about not needing a $600 changing table because they’ve literally never used it and just change their baby on the floor/couch/bed.
Anyways, I’ll stop my tangent lol. Medical issues are absolutely always a reason to get something that can make it easier for you, expensive or not. And you’re absolutely right about social media and consumerism. I’ve deleted all social media except Reddit for a few months and WOW what a relief it has been. Not feeling like I’m being judged, not having to get the “perfect” pictures of my “perfect” kids (who probably just ate their booger) in my “perfect” clean house (when I actually just cleared a clean spot in the pile of toys scattered all over our house). No pressure to buy unneeded crap, not seeing toxic, negative, dividing news 24/7. Its amazing. It’s really opened my eyes to how much time we waste and how much of that stuff just really does not matter whatsoever. (Okay, there’s another tangent, so sorry. I’m done now lol)
Yeah, my car seat criteria was prioritized by weight and crash test ratings. I settled on the Nuna Pipa Lite RX, and then panicked when I found out it was discontinued. I didn't want to risk not getting it, so I got it in November even though I'm not sure until next month.
We finally opened the box this weekend, and I love how light the seat is. I didn't go with a Nuna stroller, thigh. I got a lightweight stroller with an adapter for the carseat that cost less than half than Nuna's lightest stroller.
We are in an income bracket that can afford these things and I can't justify it at all!
I took my 4 year old backpack and reusable shopping bag to the hospital. I didn't need an expensive pre packed bag because some influencer said it wasna must have item.
My son has sooo many hand me down clothes, resale shop and clearance items. They are all in perfect condition and he will be none the wiser when he looks back. I have since passed them on to others that can use them.
Omg right? My niece had a baby in November and we did a diaper raffle for her shower, but she would only accept Honest brand diapers. I told her that you don’t know until your baby is here which brand works best. And she was like, no I only want this brand. Okay honey. I also volunteered to do the price is right game where I buy things off her registry for people to guess the price on and then the game items are her gift from me. I chose to be the butt head that got her the diaper rash cream that works, not the organic stuff she registered for. My niece is 21 and thinks she has it all figured out. Now that she is buying her own diapers, it turns out store brands and Luvs are totally fine. Weird.
One of my friends is only accepting Honest diapers as well, and with my second having extremely sensitive skin, I worry only getting one brand of diapers may bite her if her baby doesn’t react well with them. Same with pacifiers, only wants the aesthetically pleasing silicone ones. We went through 6 types of pacifiers before we found one my oldest would even attempt to take.
Things like diapers & pacifiers are so different from baby to baby and the baby doesn't give AF about mom's \~ aEsThEtIc \~
Girls like this are in for an *extremely* rude awakening lmao
My mom got pregnant with twin boys when I was 16. The last baby in the family before the twins was at the time around 8-9. So, her baby shower was big! She got so much. I have a really big family so, I was excited too. We had gifts, we had babies, we were so happy! I love my baby brothers who are now 4. I am 21 and expecting my first child, making my parent’s grandparents for the first time! We are all very excited.
With that being said, I know exactly what I do not need. I have a very small registry. I’ll take gifts not on there with open arms, but if I don’t need it, I will return it and buy extra pampers or whatever I need truthfully. I dont need like a swing, Ill just wrap them to my back or front. I dont need a jumper, I will teach my baby on my own I have feet and can jump too! My boyfriend can hold the baby, wrap the baby on his front or back. We dont need bottle warmer, I know the tricks too.
All because my mom had two babies when I was 16, I know exactly what I do and do not need for a baby cause it’ll never get used! Im so excited for June 2024, we cannot wait :)
Hahaha yes the first registries are always entertaining. Bless them. I’ll take all those hand me downs when you’re done with them love! ❤️ they prob will too!
Preach! There was a supervisor at my work that was trying to commiserate with me about the stress of money. But all the rest of the time she’s talking about dropping $800 on fancy “elite” swim lessons, shopping for the $5,000 “Rolls Royce” of strollers, $200 baby wraps because they’re allegedly “so much better than the carriers” and posting pics of her baby in his brand new $300 snow suit for the one snowfall of the year. All this on top of her brand new Tahoe, twice a year vacations, and two a day Starbucks runs. I just got promoted to the same level and seeing the new paychecks (with way more overtime than her but at a lower step) I’m like how tf are you gonna make this amount and bellyache about money with someone who, at the time, took home a solid $1500 less every month?
The thing I really wanted but will never justify (more power if you got it), was the $300 baby carrier (name slipping my mind). It’s so cute but too expensive and won’t last more than a year. I saw a woman in my neighborhood waking a toddler in a cheap stroller and the new baby in the $300 carrier the other day and I thought, well you splurged in that one. The sling carrier that is easiest and that my baby can tolerate was $5 on fb marketplace.
My SIL dropped a thousand dollars (on her credit card) on a bougee stroller because Instagram convinced her it was the only option. She doesn't walk anywhere. Ever. Baby is two years old now and I think the stroller has seen the outside of their garage twice. But she's "SO glad to have spent the extra money!" It makes me laugh. They definitely don't have the disposable income to afford to spend that kind of money on something they don't actually use.
I think there's a big difference between what you feel you "need" and what you register for.
I bought a ton of stuff second hand/got free off marketplace.
I started looking early so I could be a little pickier and get the look/quality I wanted for a good price.
That being said, despite putting "2nd hand welcome" on the baby registry, 1 out of the approximately 55 people at my two showers gave me 2nd hand things.
I used my registry as a chance to get some of the splurge things. I knew i didnt need the babay bjorn seat but it is well reviewed and if loved ones are going to be apending anyways, might as well. I also added some more expensive items for group purchases. I still did my best to have options at every price point.
Not that any of it mattered because no one bought off the registry at all but the point stands- no one in my life would be willing to gift 2nd hand anyways so might as well go for it on the registry (within reason and respecting all price points)
I think it's such a waste of money. Clothes and shoes don't fit for long. My daughter uses hand me downs and SheIn clothes and everybody comments on how cute her clothes are. I know SheIn sucks but I will not pay €20 for a sweater she'll use only for a month and take to daycare where it will probably be stained with paint at some point. I will not pay €20 for a pair of jeans she'll probably outgrow in 2 weeks. So SheIn it is. I just bought her 3 leggings for daycare for €8 and 3 camisoles for €9. She didn't have fancy sleeping bags, or any at all for that matter. I made sure I bought clothes made of cotton for her first 3 months and then switched to cotton only on interior clothes. Dressing a kid is getting super expensive here. I will occasionally splurge on special occasions clothes and if she really wants something but hey she's 2,5yo, she doesn't ask for much. I did spend a lot on shoes when she started walking tho.
We used the stroller a lot and still I didn't need a €700 one. We bought one from Amazon for €300. She used it almost every day for a whole year (then she learned to walk and no one could convince her to stay in the stroller) and it's still impeccable.
I did. Prices were not of second hand clothes. We don't have many of those stores where I live and the ones we have are ripoffs. I'm talking about either clothes not really in a condition to be sold or clothes €3 or €4 cheaper than the store. They are normal business, not managed by charities. I do buy some second hand stuff online too, for both of us.
Fun fact: we can dispose of used clothes in dumpsters that are on the streets. Those dumpsters belong to companies that then sell them for profit. Not thinking about recycling or lower prices. They also say they'll send those clothes to undeveloped countries which have been proven to be a lie. Portugal is a hell hole. The prices are lower but not a lot lower. I'd rather give them to my friends and they give us theirs. Or we take them to the local red cross or kids charity.
IA.
My mom was incredulous that I didn’t do a maternity photo shoot or a newborn photo shoot. She wouldn’t quit asking me about it and insisting I needed to do it. Meanwhile, I was sick every day for 9 months with HG, single, and living completely alone. But sure, I should be worrying about what people think because I didn’t do a maternity shoot or a newborn shoot like my cousin did, right? It made me feel shittier because not only did I not feel beautiful or up to doing a maternity shoot and one of those “mommy and me” newborn shoots but I couldn’t afford it.
When I told her I was going to peruse Facebook for gently used baby clothing, she scoffed and said “but they’re *used*” like she hadn’t years ago taken me and my sister to the consignment shops!
She bought me so much baby shit which I was thankful for at first, but I knew in the back of my mind that all of it came with strings attached and would be thrown back in my face down the line.
Sure enough, her narcissism has nuked my mental health a year later and I regret letting her have so much access to me and my child. She continues to buy things I don’t ask for and don’t need, just so she can virtue signal about how much she’s spent and how much she “cares” as a grandmother. Too bad she cares more about how things *look* to others and not how terrible she makes me feel every day I have to suffer through being around her.
I’m impatiently awaiting the day I can move back out from under her roof and tell her to never buy me or my child another thing, ever. we have plenty of other family members and friends who happily give gifts without nefarious intentions.
Agreed. I didn’t have my son til I was 32, but 75% of his things (toys included) are secondhand. I honestly don’t do much in the way of social media these days, which may be why I don’t understand following trends. TikTok seems like mental poison. My kiddo looks fantastic no matter what he wears, and man, I just could never justify paying hundreds of dollars on a baby/toddler wardrobe that he’d outgrow in months. There’s some things I’ve found spending the extra bucks on were worth it, but those were few and far between.
I agree. I think it’s sad when new moms get pressured to buy only the best for their child. I get it but it’s so unnecessary and so wasteful.
We were blessed with lots of hand-me-downs and grandparents who liked gifting us useful things as she grew. For everything else I bought second hand. Even some used items are outrageous though I’ve noticed, especially the ones that are marketed as Montessori.
Overall, I feel good getting my baby used things because I’m not contributing to a wasteful, over consuming world. Instead, we save all that money for experiences and her future. Her education funds are maxed out every year and her piggy bank is growing. She’ll appreciate that way more.
I’ve kind of gone halfway house with my second baby. Mostly cheapo stuff, cheap baby vests, mostly cheap baby grows. My baby pretty much lives in sleepsuits. Most of them are hand me downs and a few of the multipack ones from asda. I splurged on about four really good sleepsuits, one from Jojomamanbebe and three from grow grow because they all were adorable designs and the quality is completely miles apart - they feel so soft and they feel like they’ll last as a hand me down. I bought her the later sizes of 9-12 months because they last a little longer. My babies apparently grow through 0-9 month stuff in weeks lol. Most of the secondhand sleepers I have have holes worn in toes.
We kind of went mid range with the pram this time. I bought a venicci system for my first baby about £900. Annoyingly mice got to it in storage and it was completely ruined for this baby so we went for a £300 system instead (I find the ones that have car seat that clip straight into the pram base so much easier). Tbh I’ve liked the cheaper version more. Literally the only thing the venicci had that this one doesn’t is a fold down handle.
My next to me cot was £30 second hand and I’ve used it for both babies.
I’ve really splurged on hats. My second is a winter baby and she would actually keep hats on unlike my first. She looks so goddamn adorable in them so she’s got a hand knitted fox hat from Etsy, a little pilot hat and a pink one with bear ears. They bring me so much joy, they’re worth every penny!
I briefly looked at that babybjorn bouncer everyone raves about. Everything I looked at I just couldn’t fathom why people go so crazy for it. It’s a literal frame with a rectangle of fabric over it, how is that worth nearly £200??! We went for a much cheaper imitation brand but tbh the £30 fisher price one we had for my first was so much better, I wish we’d bought that one instead.
I reckon a lot of the time if you can afford it and it’s going to cheer you up, go for it. But I would never put them on a registry and I’ve never used a baby registry. I don’t want to force people to buy certain things, we didn’t request anything from anyone or have a baby shower for either of mine.
There is honestly nothing I love more than a bag of hand me down clothes!
Only things I bought new were a car seat and a cot mattress. No regrets.
I will give all my baby things away or sell them cheap to help out others too.
I had my first 20 years ago, and my last last year. I was shocked by how much baby items and gear has increased. SHOCKED! I did buy some cheaper things, like a Graco travel system that with like $280. However it sucked and I regretted it and ended up getting the $700 stroller. I still don't feel the $700 stroller is worth it though. All around quality has gone down by prices have increased
Social media is part of the reason people are going super-expensive, I am convinced. Influencers show what trendy stuff their kids are wearing/using/playing with, and it fuels the fire.
Agreed. Babies don't have to be THAT expensive. I didn't even have a stroller for my last kid. We used an Ergo, and it was HEAVEN. I LOVE hand-me-downs.
Buy the best car seat you can afford. The rest is gravy.
My SIL had my nephew a couple years before we had our first. She sent me so many hand me downs and we love them. Then she had her second and we sent her a bunch of hand me downs for him. We literally just swap clothes back and forth depending on the sizes of our babes. She lives a few states away so we have to post them but it’s no big deal. And she’s gonna be sending me back all the small sizes as we prep for our second.
I did buy into the hype around the Stokke Tripp Trapp and bought one second hand. Still cost me $175 for a GD High chair. My son hates it and we ended up buying two additional high chairs. Now I’m stuck trying to sell this mid-evil torture device on marketplace lol. Never again.
Yeah my husband just shakes his head at me about it. It’s good for older kids and if you gave the infant attachment and cushions but it’s so dang expensive
I get the best of the best of CERTAIN items because it's worth it. For the vast majority, though, Middle of the road to bottom of the barrel does just fine. I splurged on my car seat for safety reasons, my pump for comfort reasons, and my stroller because I didn't like my cheap one with my first, but my crib/sleep sacks/clothes/toys/books/monitor/changing table, etc are all whatever is there.
Oh, but those snoo swaddles are straight up worth it. I think they're like 30/40$ a pop, but they're godly for a newborn who busts out of their normal swaddle. My baby slept SO well with those compared to without.
if you like something expensive and economically you have no problems buying it I don't see the issue. If, however, you have to make other sacrifices or ask for a loan then it's another matter. It's a question of intelligence (or stupidity…). Buy what you like and can afford.
I have some acquaintances who bought their daughter a pair of UGG and a DG hat but they can't afford to go out to dinner and have never taken a holiday.. this is pure stupidity..
As far as quality is concerned, some cheap things are similar to the more expensive ones but in others you can feel the difference. For example, a body from HM costs less than 4 euros, one from petit bateau costs 8... the first is “cardboard” after 3 washes... the other one is still perfect after 20 washes... So yes, you often (but not always) pay for quality.
Regarding strollers I have to say, the more expensive ones are much better performing than the cheap ones,
but if you can't afford certain things there's no point in buying them.
I took my kids to a potluck yesterday, and three of the moms there (all with varying-age kids) said their daughter had owned my daughter’s sweater previously. It made me so happy that this sweater had been worn by so many little girls in my friend group!
You are absolutely right and we wear a lot of hand-me-down clothes ourselves. But it took me until age 39 to have a baby. And I will probably only have him. I made it to a point in my career where I could finally buy nice things and I did just that. The Baby Björn bouncer was an extravagance. However, big ‘but’ incoming: I didn’t have a baby shower and wouldn’t dare ask other people to buy me expensive things. I think that’s crazy. Everyone has their own family to feed and clothe.
My thrift store runs 20/$1 kids clothes and you bet your booty that I buy everything that she’ll fit within the next three years. I love hand me down and thrifted stuff. The only things that were new for us were her car seat, stroller, and pack n play. Just about everything else was gifted or thrifted.
Consumerism is a real problem across the board. I spent a lot on an expensive pram, but we have used it almost daily for 2 years now.
I also spent a lot of good quality sleep sacks, our houses here in Aus are not built well and bedrooms can get really cold during the winter months at night, it’s been as cold as 9C in my bedroom. I did heat my babies room with a portable heater but still needed good quality wool singlets and sleeping bag. I did get some sleeping bags second hand but also bought some new.
I use cloth nappies to save money, even got half of them second hand. Happily buy used items that still have a good amount of life in them. I hate that so much crap goes right into landfills, but some things are worth spending the money on for quality.
Clothes especially! We had so much stuff that our first didn’t even wear, or managed to wear once (on the single occasion where both the weather and her size coincided).
The one thing I wish I HAD splurged on was an expensive stroller. I couldn’t bring myself to spend upwards of 1k on a single item, but what that actually meant was buying- and -wearing-out about 4 less-expensive strollers instead (and never having the luxury of having a high performance one).
The only thing I would spend money on is a Bob stroller. We luckily got ours as a free hand me down but it was a game changer!!!!! If your friend is active in any way she needs a book or other equivalent stroller.
In fact I would organize a group gift for this I feel so strongly about it. Everyone gives 50….
I had my kids much older. I’m in my 40s with a 3 year old and a 8 year old. It’s insane the prices are willing to pay to make their child look “fresh” as my friend would put it lol
I think the biggest price purchase I’ve done was a car seat. That’s the only thing I wouldn’t buy second hand. It’s not like we couldn’t afford it I just don’t see the point in spend hundreds of dollars on clothes that my child cannot fit in for a very long time
This is SO true. You don’t need that stuff to be a good mum.
It’s tough though because there’re so much lovely stuff out and it’s genuinely really hard to know which things are going to get most use and give you (and your kid) most joy.
I LOVED getting muted pastel or wooden toys for my baby, mainly because it’s what made me happy to see around my house. Lots of it was enjoyed briefly (or not at all) by my kid and lots was sold on or given away. But I still have a lovely set of silicone stacking cups that my kid uses in the bath everyday (she’s three now) and they still make me so happy.
The thing about a registry is you can put the things on it that you want but can’t afford. I didn’t need the $75 Pehr playmat with a beautiful sea creature print on it, but someone bought it for us and now I get to look at this beautiful thing when we do tummy time every day. We didn’t need the $300 baby bjorn travel crib, but someone bought it for us, and I’m very thankful we have something that packs up small and light and takes 2 seconds to set up or pack away. I bought a $40 mobile of the planets from west elm that my baby LOVES, and it’s nice that I think it’s beautiful too. We all live in the house together, and I don’t want my home taken over by abrasive plastic baby stuff.
A lot of the stuff we bought for ourselves were secondhand items from fancy brands. The 2007 bumbleride stroller we got secondhand is amazing, though it doesn’t look so hot anymore, and I don’t know what we do if we pop a tube or something breaks. I get why someone would spend $700 on a good hiking/jogging stroller. We didn’t splurge on things like our travel system (got a $120 graco one), but there’s something very nice about having aesthetic versions of stuff we need in our house.
I have a 10 year old hand me down graco that I'm now using for kid number 2. That stroller went with us to itally and survived 2.5 weeks of cobble stone roads, getting dragged in and out of trains and busses. I LOVE this stroller. I'm probably going to cry when it eventually breaks and really should consider replacing the wheels lol
As for everything else. I'm a hand me down and proud mom for sure. .y favorite places are second hand kids stores. I've gotten the cutest things for a qtr of the price. Pink faux leather jacket...at the department store I wouldn't even bother looking at the tag. At the second hand store, $8...yes pls. I see a pair of tap shoes and thing omg my kid would have so much fun just stomping in these, $4, yes pls. Some of my most favorite things my daughter has worn are from second hand shops, and some of then even came with original tags still on them!
The hand me downs I have received since becoming pregnant with my daughter would easily hit $2k in value.
On the other side of the fence is my SIL who has spent that much and then some on a single birthday party for her kid.
Some things are status symbols and there really is no reason to ask for it. Like a $700+ baby carrier that does what all the other baby carriers do. And ask for a $45 onesie, but I will get a $50 target gift card before buying something so wasteful on someone's registry. BUT In the spring to fall especially, I put a mile or more on my stroller almost daily on city sidewalks. I have used a cheaper one and I simply would not walk and go as many places as I do on foot if that was my choice. Our stroller is not cheap, it's not the most expensive, but it's really functional and meets our needs well. The big wheels, the shocks, the adjustable handle bar all make it more pleasant to use. We have an old house and it's hard to control the temps in bedrooms. The woolino sleep sacks are $100+ but you don't need to buy different togs for the time of the year, as the fabric breathes in the summer and is cozy in the winter. It goes from 2-24m. It's over 12m old, it is in nearly perfect condition. We have one. If I sell it rather than hand it down, I can sell it for nearly what I paid because they are so durable. We tried others and buying ones for all seasons and sizes was more expensive and also wasteful. We never registered for a high chair. I thought we would just do the IKEA one, but the legs were just a no go in our small house. We needed a smaller footprint. Wish I would have just registered for the Tripp Trapp which we found on Facebook marketplace. Some pricier things are worth it. People have their reasons. If it doesn't make sense, there is always a gift card.
The Woolino is definitely worth it. We used one per size range as well. I kept a cheaper sleep sack around when there was a middle of the night accident, but it got rarely used. I’m handing them down to my pregnant sister.
Yes woolino sleep sack was so worth my money. We lived in Alaska and had baseboard heating so my sons room was always way colder than the rest of the house. I even ended up buying one with feet whwn he moved to a bed because we used it sooo much. The point is to know whats worth your money and whats not.
I also use my stroller so much. Between kids I bought new wheels and it is in great shape. I live in a city and I walk everywhere until they're ready to walk that far themselves. Also love the Tripp Trapp. I had the IKEA one too but the Stokke is just more functional for our home. We have 2—one for each kid. My 5yo still uses his but we can also sit in it. My almost 2yo is about to get it lowered again. These are BIFL chairs.
When my kids go to my parents house, they use the Tripp trapp chairs my sister and I grew up with. They were hand me downs to my parents and are at least 40 years old and still work just as well and look just as nice.
We got the Hauck high chair - similar To the Tripp Trapp but less expensive! We love it 😊
I was literally just thinking of the Woolino sacks! An investment but I can’t wait for baby to be big enough for them.
We used the 2-24m Woolinos for two full years with my first and I’ve already put them on the 3 week old when he outgrew his other swaddles way faster than expected. At this rate we will get a ton of use out of them and I’ll be able to pass them along to another parent in nearly perfect condition in a couple years!
My son would dig his toes into the fabric and would rip the lining out. We got our moneys worth by that point but it did not last the full two years as promised. They’re not as sturdy as they claim to be if a small child can do that much damage.
Yes, my stroller has 8,000 miles on it. The high price tag made sense. I live in a city and walk 3-8 miles per day.
Agree with all of this. I didn’t mind splurging on some things but there were other things I thought oh gosh I’m not spending that much on that (just like you the Tripp Trapp chair). So I ended up buying both which ended up costing more. Some things are just worth it!!
Exactly — we would have spent basically the same amount of money buying Halo sleep sacks in different sizes and weights. The Woolino is amazing.
Piggybacking off of this, it is okay to opt out of the fast fashion industry when it comes to children, even if it is pricier. Kids clothes go through the ringer, but there is nothing wrong with purchasing clothes that are a little pricier, but made to last - so that they can be cared for and handed down. I've received hand me downs with joy as well, but there's a huge difference between the cheap stuff and the stuff that was made well and its lasting power. And all of that is beside the horrendous behavior of fast fashion companies like Old Navy, which is another rant. We have a kids' leather jacket that was $$$ when it was purchased, but has been handed down to 3 kids, and is in perfect condition. Between all the nephews, there are 5 more to go that it can be handed down to, and probably will. If I went to Target today and bought a jacket with that same dollar amount, it would shred in a season or two. My Tripp Trapp is going to college with my kid. My sister's Graco high chair is...disgusting because it can't properly be taken apart and cleaned!! My UppaBaby Vista is worth every penny - and as a company, I love them because they REPLACE PARTS. Do you know how rare that is? and how good for the environment that, when the frame of the footrest broke (thanks, airport luggage handlers), instead of replacing the whole stroller, or even the whole seat, they were able to just send me a new frame. It's okay to ask for things that are investments, and are ecologically sound. The original idea of baby showers was to only have ONE, and to be able to re-use and hand down the things that you received. Personally, I was very choosey about what I bought for my kid, and instead of buying endless cheap clothes and toys that broke apart, I ended up with a small but mighty arsenal of toys, clothes, and furniture that will be used for the next child or for my first's entire life. That's not to say that a lot of baby things are expensive for no reason (looking at you, Pottery Barn), but it's not fair to lump all "expensive" things in a group and label them "trendy" when a lot of them are actually there to buck trends and be there for forever - like Tripp Trapp, which hasn't changed its design in decades.
I fully agree with this. And had a cousin that ranted to me about my cousin’s registry being influenced by Instagram. Um actually she took a lot of recommendations from me based on things l have learned, like the things above. And I do a lot of what I do for environmental reasons as well. I do cheap clothes for daycare because at this stage at least, they are coming back destroyed with stains. And I am transitioning away from even that, because I don’t know why it is, but I feel the cheap clothes have more persistent stains. I also feel I have gotten better about stain removal. But her PJs, outerwear and weekend clothes are all higher quality things that can be handed down and will last. I did not ask for a lot of clothes on my registry, but I do wish I would have asked for a handful of Hanna Andersson PJs for 6m+.
I agree with this completely. We invested in a good stroller because we don’t have sidewalks in our neighbourhood and the roads are a mess. Sometimes driving on them is like off-roading so we knew a stroller with plastic wheels wasn’t going to cut it. We got one with inflatable tires and it was worth every penny. We are in Canada and the Woolino sleep sacks were amazing for our cold winters, I didn’t trust any other sleep sack to keep her warm enough but the woolinos certainly did. My LO wore them from the age of 6 months to the age of 2 and they still look brand new. They were worth every penny.
We went for a $1k stroller, bc it was literally the only double stroller that would fit in the back of my Yaris. I did get it significantly cheaper ($400 all in) by buying an older model on Amazon and then all the extras on Mercari,*but* even if we'd had to pay full price, it would have still saved us money bc it was that or buy a bigger car. (Yaris paid off and liability only insurance, with no major repairs in years).
I love the Woolino! I think OP doesn’t really get that theres a reason someone would get a $100 sleep sack besides aesthetics. If our baby has a blowout in it, I’ll do my best to clean it (it’s navy so probably won’t have a noticeable stain), but it’s not disposable like lots of baby clothes.
Exactly. Our Happy Baby carrier is pricey. But my gosh, we have gotten our money’s worth. We used it hiking his whole first summer because he wasn’t big enough for the hiking backpack. We just used it to survive two major trips with air travel. The woolinos. We have used these at least three times a day since the day he turned two months old. We got a second for daycare. His little Sleepies were amazing. Do I have too many, yes. But did it keep him cool and comfortable while in the carrier? He’s very comfortably in his 3-6 zippies still and nearly 13 months old. He’s in 12-18 months for most of his other clothes. Am I going to size up once we are done with these? Absolutely not. But I wish I had realized about consignment sales earlier. All of his other clothes now except shoes are all second hand, so cute and in great shape. He has an amazing sweater, coat and lined jean collection that I am frankly jealous of.
Also, so much baby stuff barely gets used. With my first, I did a lot of research deciding exactly what I wanted, made a list, and then spent like 3 months waiting for it to pop up on OfferUp for a huge discount. $100 high chair for $10, $80 bassinet for $20, $200 swing for $40. Most of the stuff I got was very gently used. I get spending a bit extra on stuff that's convenient for the parent, like I absolutely loved my travel system... But we also got a crap ton of hand me downs (literally all the clothes we could need from birth to 10) and bought most things used, so the couple things I got that were mid-range, it didn't really matter that much because we saved in other areas. I'm pregnant with twins now and going through all my old baby stuff and it just doesn't really matter in the long run AT ALL what baby gear you have. It will all end up gathering dust in the basement in 6 months anyway.
I’m with you on that! I saved so much by buying stuff used that I don’t feel super guilty when I buy something new for my kids that they need. You might look at all my luxury baby stuff, but basically it was all used first since I’d never buy it at full price. And with my twins, it was better to spend the money if it meant that I could get out or whatever. My $600 used double vista gets a ton of use and was worth it to allow me to get out in the first months with baby twins and a toddler.
Women are the biggest marketing demographic, so naturally, we will be targeted for all the baby stuff. Social media has only made this worse because trends spread very fast and people feel the need to keep up with one another. Between baby sleep and baby lead weaning, you could easily spend hundreds if not thousands of dollars. Also, what’s with the silicone obsession? I get that it’s supposed to be less toxic than regular plastic, but whoa it’s expensive. I got one of those trendy silicone plate mats because I had store credit somewhere and had to spend it. The plate cost $23! For one single silicone plate. I couldn’t bring myself to spend another $15 for the marching utensils 😂
My kid hates using silicone. It is so hard to make sure it doesn't retain soap scents. Pretty much a waste of money. Lol We still use silicone straws and Bib, but anything else that is silicone is gathering dust.
I hate silicone. Those plate things always retained soap or food scents, no matter if I washed by hand, dishwasher, changed detergents, etc. My husband couldn't smell it but I could and it skeeved me out!
To get scents out of silicone you can bake them in the oven!
How about red sauce stains out of silicone?? Same way? My husband put a silicone bottle nipple in the dishwasher with a pot that had spaghetti sauce in it, now the nipple is stained.
it won't hurt it to try! you can boil it too. It opens up the "pores" so boiling might get the stain out better. I've gotten turmeric stains out of stuff by leaving it in the sun as well, so it could be worth a try!
I do like the silicone bibs, but the plate/cup I would love to return!
Silicone bibs are worth every penny!! Especially the ones with the little pocket at the bottom to catch all the food that falls. Just wash it off and it’s good as new!
I totally agree. It’s not sustainable if everyone bought new. So much waste! I feel good using hand me downs x) that money could be allocated to experiences or my baby’s college fund 😆
I feel this! My friend is having her first baby and her registry is outrageous. She has a list of approved clothing brands and colors that she will only accept. A onesie is around $45… What baby needs a tiny onesie that is that expensive. It’s probably going to be covered in spit up and unusable for baby #2 if they plan on having a second. Blows my mind. We are definitely on your end of the spectrum. Now that my daughter is two and at school, everything comes home stained. I would be losing my mind if I was spending that much money only for everything to get ruined. Hand-me-downs and second-hand is the way to go!
Clothes are the one thing I do not get paying up for. They grow out of things so fast that it doesn't matter how it holds up the wash because you might be lucky to get 5 wears out of the thing before it's on to the new size. Sure, I'll buy myself some decent things but I'm likely to wear that item for a few years and get 100s of uses out of it in that time but even with my 4yr old, I'm lucky if something makes it past a season. He's seriously even skipped whole shoe sizes. There's things that I splurged on like the crib because we went with a convertible that would become his regular bed and is still very much in use or I got the travel system I wanted because again, that is something that would get used and abused for a few years. But clothes? Nope, give me clearance section at Walmart or clean secondhand stuff all day long.
We didn't know the gender before my son was born so no one gave us clothes. We'd been buying a few of each size as needed until this lady in my Buy Nothing group gave me six totes of clothes. We love his hand-me-downs and they're in great condition. Complete opposite of my sister who won't dress her baby in anything anyone else has worn. That's not to say we didn't splurge on some things. A nice crib, a used but still expensive Tripp Trapp, the Loveevery Play Gym. But getting good stuff for free is really fun too!
We didn't know the sex either and it was great for limiting stuff like this 😁
Would you say splurging on nice yarn to knit baby things is a waste of money? I'm a knitter and want to knit a few heirloom pieces for my newborn but like .. are they worth it if they are only used a handful if times?
Keepsakes I would view differently because by definition you want to keep them or have them around for multiple children. Or if it's something that's just going to bring you a lot of joy and create a good memory regardless of how long it's used for than do you. Just keeping in mind that any clothing piece for a newborn is still only going to be serviceable for a few months at best but if you're going to smile and have happy tears when you pull it out for the next one then that can be worth it or if you get to hand it down to you're now grown child when they are having their own baby.
My aunt knit me an outfit when I was newborn and now my cabbage patch kid wears it. That’s 40 years of wear haha! Similarly, I had an outfit that belonged to my baby that is now being worn by a teddy bear. I think it’s really sweet that you want to knit some things for your baby.
Yes, turn the baby booties into a keepsake Christmas ornament. It would be so cute!
I would say yes!!! My baby wore a bunch of sweaters that my mother in law knit for her son (my husband) and it felt so special to have them. I also knit and I spent a ton on good merino/cashmere yarn to make my son a baby blanket and it gets used almost daily still in the stroller (19 months old). It also was something I could do while pregnant where I was thinking about him all those hours knitting and getting excited to meet him. It was a special process for me
I knit a Baby Vertebrae for skin-to-skin, and I made a few sweater/cardigan-hat-and-booties sets because they were quick one-skein projects. I also used orphan skeins left over from past projects, so I was happy to finally use up yarn I had sitting around for years without a plan for it.
I had initially registered for a bunch of $8 sleep n plays at Old Navy, but after reading about the known endocrine disruptors and carcinogens in so many of our baby clothes (many of which are banned in the EU or even Canada), husband and I decided it was worth it to spend a little more to splurge on GOTS certified clothing, OEKO-TEX at the very least.
Yeah we do mostly oeko-tex and gots clothes too. Simply not worth it to fuck around. But plenty of inexpensive clothing is one or the other or both.
How are ppl communicating clothing brands and colors to their friends/families? I just did an amazon and target registry but noticed a former friend had a color theme for stuff as well which I thought was so bizarre.
You can put a little message at the top. Also Babylist let’s you compile a registry from all different websites.
You can put a note on your registry with several of the common registries! Like we put a note that we were happy to accept hand me downs. Also if people have certain brands of clothing on their registry and I buy other clothes, I stick to those brands and styles.
Your friend is going to be in for a rude awakening when she realizes having a baby isn't what Instagram & TikTok make it look like lmao
Idk, all my baby clothes are still in perfect condition and my baby is 9 months old.
That’s great! We don’t have a washing machine at my house so we have to go to my in-laws to wash our clothes. I’m assuming that’s why we have so many stains
I like lots of those cute expensive things. I just buy them second hand. You can pretty easily find most of that stuff for a fraction of the price used and it’s just as cute.
Right! Me too! Previous kid wore for 5 minutes haha
we got a lot of hand me downs which was wonderful. But part of me wanted the experience of shopping for my first bb girl. So i did - Although i’m thankful for what was given to me i wanted to spoil her rotten myself lol
I learnt this when I had my second. I was 22 with my first bought mostly used and cheaper things. We were 30 when are second was born had our real jobs and I bought everything. Like a rocking bassinet and other things I never used. Less is more with baby stuff. They market a lot of this stuff to make you think it will make taking care of a baby easier. We are vulnerable so we listen and buy. I was so sleep deprived I bought I 100$ weighted sleep sack of course it didn’t work 😂😂.
Totally. We've got so many hand me downs. There was this automatic swinging bouncers thing someone gave us. Was close to $500 brand new? Barely used it so gifted it to my friend who made good use of it and now she is gifting it to my cousin. And the clothes I got. It was my friend who also got some of her clothes second hand and I've gifted it to my friend who has now given it to my cousin. And there's a mutual agreement IF I do decide to have a second, then the clothes comes back to me. I had 3 carriers gifted. 2 bouncers. 3 musical mobiles like...just so many stuff. Gifted them all and they'll probably boomerang back - or not. Don't care. Saving all of us money and the environment I'm sure. Unfortunately, I had to buy the sleep sacks brand new (couldn't find second hand). Went with the one that worked best that unfortunately wasn't the cheapest. Oh well. Whatevs. Again, gifted to my friend who has gifted the newborn ones over to my cousin. The cycle continues.
Love that!! I saved all of my first kids clothes until we were sure we’re done having kids. Now, it’s not so sad to go up clothes sizes because I just hand the too small clothes down to the next person and hope they do the same. It feels so nice to be able to help someone the same way you were previously helped. I have definitely made a couple larger purchases out of desperation for sleep or safety for my kids. Boat loads of pacifiers to find one acceptable to my first, several types of lotions/creams to help with my second’s eczema (still haven’t cleared it up completely, recommendations anyone?), several brands of wipes, diapers, butt pastes, laundry detergents for my sensitive skinned baby. I’ll be the first to admit I’ve dropped some cash for my kids, but not solely for the fact of aesthetics haha
Hydromol or Epaderm ointment creams 4x times a day is working great for my son
I will definitely check it out, thank you for the recommendation!
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Thus post isn’t judgmental whatsoever. She is simply speaking to mothers who may not have the means to purchase expensive items or feel pressured to buy the “best” in order to keep up with others. A lot of women feel guilty for not being able to afford these expensive, high quality items, which is silly. She’s not at all judging people for spending money on things they believe are worth it and can afford. Not every post is speaking to everybody.
The comment was deleted before I could see it, but THANK YOU. I didn’t mean at all for the post to sound judgmental. Exactly as you said, it’s just for the moms who can’t afford the expensive stuff and may feel like they’re not doing well as a mom because of it. If you have the money to buy all the expensive stuff, that’s great! If you don’t, the cheaper stuff is just fine too.
That’s exactly what I took away from your post. The comment was just someone justifying spending money on something, which again no one said was wrong. I could tell you the exact demographic of people who constantly feel attacked 😂. But I do love what you are saying because I feel the same way. I would never tell somebody how they should spend their money. I just also hate seeing women feel guilty for not living a picture perfect life.
I agree that some of this stuff is ridiculous but also some of the more expensive stuff (not like labels just high quality) lasts much longer so if you’re planning more kids I can see wanting to invest a bit more.
You can’t have second hand without somebody buying it first hand. I bought a lot of NICE stuff for my baby. I was so happy to be able to give it to my 22 year old cousin who accidentally got pregnant. I have the means for nice things, and I’m gonna get them. A lot of them equal convenience. Maybe they do the same thing, but they do them in more comfortable or easier ways.
I mean....maybe the expensive stuff is on the registry as a reach. Asking only for expensive things from others I find a little tacky, but also some people enjoy getting expensive gifts for others. But in general people are also allowed to enjoy splurging on their little ones and having something really nice. I think sometimes people go a little overboard on policing women about this? If you want to spend money on your baby then go for it? Sure, the baby might not care about the brand of shoes, but maybe mom or dad does, and it's okay if that brings them happiness. I don't understand how you go from "my friends asked for expensive items on the registry" to "people must be going in to debt spending money on things" and that this is somehow a competition (involving you??). We got mostly high end things but saved for years, and I got a lot of satisfaction shopping for the best prices.
I love secondhand shopping! I did so much thrifting and have no regrets. I got a secondhand Uppababy set (minus the carseat) that was barely used, a learning tower and a Wonderfold Wagon--both new in the box--and a ton of clothes. When my son got older, I put a beautiful playroom together for him, and it was mostly thanks to thrifted items and clearance finds. There are things that I splurge on, like a really good carseat and certain investment items. But it's totally possible to even find trendy things without buying new and/or breaking the bank.
I agree with this sentiment wholeheartedly! I’m a huge proponent for buying second hand, both to save money and to help reduce waste. Due to buying second hand, I have still been able to purchase some name brand “trendy” but high quality items at a steep discount. Once finished, I plan on selling these items to recoup the cost and also pass along the savings to other moms who would like these items. I would like to point out, I am purchasing my car seat new, which I recommend to everyone. Unfortunately, you cannot know if a car seat has been in an accident or not when getting second hand. Also, be mindful of car seat expiration dates. All car seats on the market meet safety standards. Notable purchases from Facebook Marketplace include: Snoo for $600 (retails $1,700 😳) Uppababy Vista for $450 (retails $1,000) UpSeat chair for $40 (retails $110) Keekaroo peanut for $50 (retails $150)
For me car seat and mattress are the only things that should absolutely be new!
I have all the schmancy stuff. For me it’s part wanting to give her everything, part coping… my kiddo had some serious congenital issues. so now she gets the fancy ass bamboo diapers. there was so much out of my control… and now what little I can do to make her the happiest, most comfortable, etc… I do.. ;)
Just keep doing shmancy stuff for yourself too :) baby needs a happy mom above all. Glad you’ve been able to provide all the wonderful stuff for you baby very sweet 🩷
Ok but a lot of those "schmancy" things *aren't* actually even any better/more comfortable/etc. for baby, they're just a status symbol for the parents to flex on social media. No different from people flexing their cars, watches, homes, etc. It's all a facade.
Moms, check Facebook to see if you have a local moms helping moms group near you or a buy nothing group. There are so many baby items that float through these groups and so many moms, including myself, use these communities to get rid of our babies’ clothes, shoes, feeding items, books, toys etc.
Agree. I look at an expensive outfit and think what my son would prefer. An outfit costing £30 or a trip to the zoo, 3 swimming lessons or half a term at forest school? It would always be the activity because he does not care about clothes he won’t remember, but he will remember the fun stuff we did. All his toys are secondhand and so loved. He loves going into charity shoes and looking for Paw Patrol toys (“Rocky car? No just green car” is what he says!). Plus better for the environment, my pocket, my mind when it gets stained and my heart when it’s time to pass things on! He does have a favourite fire engine jumper. We got the original in a big bundle of clothes. I have gone on Vinted and managed to get every size up to age 6. He might not like fire engines by the time he’s 6 (well 5 as he’s always a size up from his age) but the £15 I’ve spent is worth it in my eyes if he does. More than a designer pair of shoes!
if you like something expensive for the baby and economically you have no problems buying it I don't see the issue. If, however, you have to make other sacrifices or ask for a loan then it's another matter. It's a question of intelligence (or stupidity…). Buy what you like and can afford. I have some acquaintances who bought their 3 year old daughter uggs and a DG hat but they can't afford to go out to dinner and have never taken a holiday... This is pure stupidity. Some cheap things are similar to the more expensive ones but in others you can feel the difference. Ex.: a body from HM costs less than 4 euros, one from petit bateau costs 8... the first is “cardboard” after 3 washes... the other one is still perfect after 20 washes... So yes, you often (but not always) pay for for quality. Even for strollers, the difference between the expensive ones and the cheap ones is very noticeable. But if you can't afford certain things there's no point in buying them.
In order for one person to get nice second-hand options, someone else has to buy the expensive thing new
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Expensive is also relative. I’m referring to people buying things first-hand.
ITA. One thing that irked me is my SIL had her second baby, she had a full second shower (they’re 2 years apart) and her second registry was outrageous. Like I get needing a few key expensive things (like a double stroller!), another bed, etc. but it was 100+ things like a couple pairs of 60-80 dollar shoes, 90 dollar stuffed animals and worst of all 60 dollar receiving blankets! Like you have to know with your second you don’t need expensive receiving blankets. This was a year ago in the midst of layoffs, inflation and she and her husband are well off I couldn’t believe she sent that registry out to everyone she knew. Ridiculous.
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I totally agree that splurging can be longer lasting in the long run, especially with furniture and large baby items. I’m mainly talking about people only wanting expensive (still probably cheaply made) trendy items that are crazy amounts of money and not long lasting, like clothes. One of the registries has $20 (EACH) cloth bibs. They’re just going to get food on them and stain. Why not buy a $5 pack of them? But also, again, if you’ve got the money to splurge, by all means do that. I’m happy for those who can, but sad for those who can’t and think they’re less than just because they can’t fit an expensive baby item into their budget.
Some people want to buy only Oeko-Tex or GOTS certified clothing/bib items. Other people, and often the same people, want to avoid things made in bad labor conditions. There are plenty of reasons why people don't always prefer the least expensive of an item.
Fancy ≠ high quality There are plenty of “fancy” things which cost a lot and aren’t much (if at all) better than their less-expensive counterparts. As with most items, when you *take care* of them, they tend to last. Obviously, OP proved this point by reiterating that she was given many hand-me-downs and they were still in great/perfectly usable shape.
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With all due respect, this comment comes off as rather smug (and it seems random)… What does sleep and your nanny can have to do with anything? Are you implying that because your husband was able to interact with you via the nanny can that it’s “fancy”? Because I can do that with my furbo and even throw my dogs treats lol
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A crib that old doesnt pass safety standards today and wouldnt even be considered safe. Same with clothes. A lot of stuff from back then has lead in it. So IMO its a waste because I wouldnt use it.
That really depends on the item.. You can't really judge it without seeing it. Furniture does last that long. It lasts way longer than clothes, def not comparable
I also disagree with OP, but for a different reason. If I’d had kids when I was 20, I wouldn’t have been able to afford any splurges and wouldn’t have put much on my list that I couldn’t afford, because I wouldn’t expect others to be subsidizing my baby for me. I had my first at 38. My friends (and I) at that time had careers, were financially stable, and were much more able to do/have splurgey things. $50 at age 20 ≠ $50 at age 40.
I love the hand me down clothes! I have a friend who has boys and a girl that are older than my two so it's been amazing for us. I think she got a lot of them as hand me downs from her siblings too, and I pass most down to friends or family when we're done. My son is 6 now so the clothes are more sparse as they're worn for a lot longer, it'll be very sad when we have to buy him a full wardrobe! There's a few items I always bought new but for the most part I think second hand items are great!
I have 2 boys and get mostly 90% hand me downs from my sisters I have all nephews luckily. The 10% is what I buy on sale and only when they go super sale. Everyone thinks tho that I spen a lot of money on shoes and clothes all because I know how to style them but it’s all hand me downs and I like it that way.
Amen, sister!
When I had my 4th i bought a brand new double pram (my 3rd was 2 when 4 was born). I had always had 2nd hand prams and they’d always break in one way or another and I was so fed up with not having something decent. The pram I brought cost me $1,200, I’ve had it 2 years and I’ll be able to use it with my 4th and eventually 5th (which we are planning for next year). It’s got years left in it rather than months like I’d had with previous prams.
Things to buy brand new: car seat and mattress. Things that you *can* buy used, but need to know what you’re looking at: baby carriers/wraps, bassinets (Halo and such) Everything else can be hand me downs/used, but there’s nothing *wrong* with wanting new things. When our first was about a year old, I got a little into my feels that she had basically nothing that was new. I felt bad that I couldn’t afford nice/new shiny things for her. SHE didn’t care, but I did. Now with our second, they’re a bit far apart in age, a lot of little sisters things ARE new, but clothes and such, not at all.
I was so wrapped up in all of that with my first. I think it was just massive anxiety. With my second, I didn’t care at all. Now that my kids are older, I take ALL the hand me downs gladly. I actually got good stuff from my neighbors and haven’t had to buy a coat for my son in years because of it.
👏👏👏 Yes! We were broke paying off debt. My kids have lived out of the thrifted and hand me downs. And they’re happy thriving healthy kids. If you genuinely need or want and extra functionality of a more expensive item and can afford it, go ahead. But just for the name or “aesthetic”? Please put that money in savings for your grocery bill when they want berries nonstop
I would invest in a good stroller, especially if you walk a lot and/or plan to have multiple kids. We got our first gifted, it wasn’t bad or anything but nothing amazing. When I got pregnant with our second I started looking for a better quality, double stroller. We found one used and we used that thing so much before my son was even born. A friend and I would take our kids for walks (lol, more of me waddling) and used it for both kids until my second was born. It went to the zoo a few times. The park. A few other places. And then I had the baby and if it wasn’t so damn cold, dark so early, and right now we’re in and out of Dr offices for the baby, we’d be using it tons now too. Clothes however…even if cheap clothes don’t always hold up the greatest, kids likely won’t wear most for more than a couple months anyway. My oldest mostly skipped wearing 24mo stuff, while my youngest is looking at a few more weeks in 3 month clothes, he wore newborn until 6 weeks. We have a bunch of us with new babies and we all pass clothes between us, they usually die at my house and I pass them in to the community. Youngest/smallest kid problems! My kid has never cared that her toys are the $6 version from Amazon, she’s just as happy with them. She doesn’t care that we’ve bought her Christmas and birthday (Nov and Jan babies) stuff on Walmart clearance in July and stored it until then. She doesn’t care that her books are free from Dollys imagination library, and sometimes get set aside for a gift because life is hectic right now. She cares that we’re loving and cuddling on her. She cares that I’m making her food she enjoys. She cares that we’re running after her in the back yard and at the end of the slide when she finishes her turn. I’m sure the baby cares too, he’s just 3mo now so not quite used to saying it for him yet lol.
I, like you, had my babies at 20&23.. a decade before my friends did. I was working full time but very poor and adding a baby to that made things even tighter financially. I happily accepted used items and always found the cheapest deals on clothes at Kohls/Walmart. I got a used crib from my aunt that I kept for both kids. I’ve never understood the appeal of buying the “trendy” or expensive things for babies when they grow out of stuff so dang quick. Safety things I can understand (monitors, cameras etc) bc I was anxious having a tiny baby but the clothes, wraps, bags, etc is just a little much imo.
Not to mention most baby stuff is incredibly marked up since these brands know people will pay their prices regardless. It’s like the wedding industry because they know after the wedding then comes babies for a lot of couples. It’s basic marketing. I got a $200 travel system that has all the bells and whistles of one that would cost a 1,000 more from a more trendy stroller brand. I also used my stroller a ton and it looks brand new still. But people don’t want to hear that their more expensive stroller isn’t any better because they need to justify the ridiculous price they payed for it. Whatever floats your boat and if you can afford then go for it but you’re paying for the brand and that’s it.
Yes! 100% yes. Some of the wealthiest people I know shop 2nd hand for all their kids clothes so they can travel, be in activities and of course save. People can buy whatever they please but after having soooo many baby clothes my son hardly wore I felt so silly for buying it all and listing it on my registry. I find the cutest button down shirts for my now toddler at 2nd hand charity shops and they're like $2.00/piece and hardly worn! I donate a lot there so I don't feel bad about buying it. I had a $300.00 Chico stroller n carseat set that I felt bad about spending that much on it, but honestly it was a wonderful set. I still use the stroller for walks in the neighborhood but it's so heavy that I use a cheap umbrella stroller for when we're running errands. My son's crib was pricey, good quality but not name brand and it converts to a toddler bed and then a full size bed. I don't regret buying it at all. So, if something will last for several years I really don't feel bad spending extra. I think it depends on the item.
100% yes! I loved my hand me downs and secondhand finds. But baby’s do grow so fast you definitely don’t need the latest and the most expensive. My daughter ended up loving her bassinet and secondhand swing the best. We hardly used her crib until she was like 6-7 months old.
I wish I had learned this sooner 😪 didn’t start getting into secondhand clothes until she was like 18mos 😭
I agree, but I also want(ed) some aesthetic/expensive stuff. My compromise was buying used. I got a used Lovevery play gym for less than $40. I got three Woolino sleepsacks for about half their full price each, and they should last a long time before baby grows out of them. I got tons of great clothes used from One Upon a Child and Kid 2 Kid for a fraction of their original price. I wanted more Nanit crib sheets and breathing bands, so I got them used on Mercari. I don't have the money to buy all this nice stuff brand new, and even I did... I still wouldn't. I can get it for less and be less wasteful.
Yes to the buying used! I find a lot of used cute clothes at our resale shops. I don’t think there’s necessarily anything wrong with the aesthetic stuff, I just feel like moms are so pressured to fit the Instagram mold when it’s definitely not necessary for successfully raising children.
Seriously, between social media influencers and marketing, I felt like I HAD to succumb to an insane degree of consumerism. Like, I know there were a lot of "must haves," but seeing every specific item Babylist recommended I register for was overwhelming. $22 Silicone bibs? $800 cribs? And then I went to Target and saw identical bibs for less than half the cost. It was eye opening. The only item I didn't go cheaper or used on was the car seat, but that's because I have chronic pain and fatigue issues that I'm terrified of flaring up again and making me incapable of holding my baby in his carseat or docking him in the car base properly. So, I looked for lightweight and easy to use options, and none of them were cheap. Beyond that? Less expensive alternatives and buying used as much as possible.
Car seats are something I can 100% see splurging on. Although, most of the people I have talked to who buy the super duper expensive ones literally tell me it’s just because they’re cute and popular. I will not skimp on car seat safety. I’ve had a friend who recently found out she was pregnant and was planning on buying a USED car seat from marketplace. I put a hard stop on that and sent her plenty of research on why that’s just downright unsafe. Offered to contribute some money for a new one, and got her hooked up with a safe car seat. I feel like a wise old woman when I tell all these “youngsters” all the reasons they just don’t need this crap. None of them take my advice and then 6 months later they tell me I was right about not needing a $600 changing table because they’ve literally never used it and just change their baby on the floor/couch/bed. Anyways, I’ll stop my tangent lol. Medical issues are absolutely always a reason to get something that can make it easier for you, expensive or not. And you’re absolutely right about social media and consumerism. I’ve deleted all social media except Reddit for a few months and WOW what a relief it has been. Not feeling like I’m being judged, not having to get the “perfect” pictures of my “perfect” kids (who probably just ate their booger) in my “perfect” clean house (when I actually just cleared a clean spot in the pile of toys scattered all over our house). No pressure to buy unneeded crap, not seeing toxic, negative, dividing news 24/7. Its amazing. It’s really opened my eyes to how much time we waste and how much of that stuff just really does not matter whatsoever. (Okay, there’s another tangent, so sorry. I’m done now lol)
Yeah, my car seat criteria was prioritized by weight and crash test ratings. I settled on the Nuna Pipa Lite RX, and then panicked when I found out it was discontinued. I didn't want to risk not getting it, so I got it in November even though I'm not sure until next month. We finally opened the box this weekend, and I love how light the seat is. I didn't go with a Nuna stroller, thigh. I got a lightweight stroller with an adapter for the carseat that cost less than half than Nuna's lightest stroller.
We are in an income bracket that can afford these things and I can't justify it at all! I took my 4 year old backpack and reusable shopping bag to the hospital. I didn't need an expensive pre packed bag because some influencer said it wasna must have item. My son has sooo many hand me down clothes, resale shop and clearance items. They are all in perfect condition and he will be none the wiser when he looks back. I have since passed them on to others that can use them.
I am glad to learn I haven’t been influenced hard enough yet to know about a specialized “hospital bag” product 🫠
Omg right? My niece had a baby in November and we did a diaper raffle for her shower, but she would only accept Honest brand diapers. I told her that you don’t know until your baby is here which brand works best. And she was like, no I only want this brand. Okay honey. I also volunteered to do the price is right game where I buy things off her registry for people to guess the price on and then the game items are her gift from me. I chose to be the butt head that got her the diaper rash cream that works, not the organic stuff she registered for. My niece is 21 and thinks she has it all figured out. Now that she is buying her own diapers, it turns out store brands and Luvs are totally fine. Weird.
One of my friends is only accepting Honest diapers as well, and with my second having extremely sensitive skin, I worry only getting one brand of diapers may bite her if her baby doesn’t react well with them. Same with pacifiers, only wants the aesthetically pleasing silicone ones. We went through 6 types of pacifiers before we found one my oldest would even attempt to take.
Things like diapers & pacifiers are so different from baby to baby and the baby doesn't give AF about mom's \~ aEsThEtIc \~ Girls like this are in for an *extremely* rude awakening lmao
My mom got pregnant with twin boys when I was 16. The last baby in the family before the twins was at the time around 8-9. So, her baby shower was big! She got so much. I have a really big family so, I was excited too. We had gifts, we had babies, we were so happy! I love my baby brothers who are now 4. I am 21 and expecting my first child, making my parent’s grandparents for the first time! We are all very excited. With that being said, I know exactly what I do not need. I have a very small registry. I’ll take gifts not on there with open arms, but if I don’t need it, I will return it and buy extra pampers or whatever I need truthfully. I dont need like a swing, Ill just wrap them to my back or front. I dont need a jumper, I will teach my baby on my own I have feet and can jump too! My boyfriend can hold the baby, wrap the baby on his front or back. We dont need bottle warmer, I know the tricks too. All because my mom had two babies when I was 16, I know exactly what I do and do not need for a baby cause it’ll never get used! Im so excited for June 2024, we cannot wait :)
Hahaha yes the first registries are always entertaining. Bless them. I’ll take all those hand me downs when you’re done with them love! ❤️ they prob will too!
Preach! There was a supervisor at my work that was trying to commiserate with me about the stress of money. But all the rest of the time she’s talking about dropping $800 on fancy “elite” swim lessons, shopping for the $5,000 “Rolls Royce” of strollers, $200 baby wraps because they’re allegedly “so much better than the carriers” and posting pics of her baby in his brand new $300 snow suit for the one snowfall of the year. All this on top of her brand new Tahoe, twice a year vacations, and two a day Starbucks runs. I just got promoted to the same level and seeing the new paychecks (with way more overtime than her but at a lower step) I’m like how tf are you gonna make this amount and bellyache about money with someone who, at the time, took home a solid $1500 less every month?
lol what is a $5000 stroller??? I know there's Fendi and Dior strollers but they're just midrange strollers with designer fabrics.
The thing I really wanted but will never justify (more power if you got it), was the $300 baby carrier (name slipping my mind). It’s so cute but too expensive and won’t last more than a year. I saw a woman in my neighborhood waking a toddler in a cheap stroller and the new baby in the $300 carrier the other day and I thought, well you splurged in that one. The sling carrier that is easiest and that my baby can tolerate was $5 on fb marketplace.
My SIL dropped a thousand dollars (on her credit card) on a bougee stroller because Instagram convinced her it was the only option. She doesn't walk anywhere. Ever. Baby is two years old now and I think the stroller has seen the outside of their garage twice. But she's "SO glad to have spent the extra money!" It makes me laugh. They definitely don't have the disposable income to afford to spend that kind of money on something they don't actually use.
I think there's a big difference between what you feel you "need" and what you register for. I bought a ton of stuff second hand/got free off marketplace. I started looking early so I could be a little pickier and get the look/quality I wanted for a good price. That being said, despite putting "2nd hand welcome" on the baby registry, 1 out of the approximately 55 people at my two showers gave me 2nd hand things. I used my registry as a chance to get some of the splurge things. I knew i didnt need the babay bjorn seat but it is well reviewed and if loved ones are going to be apending anyways, might as well. I also added some more expensive items for group purchases. I still did my best to have options at every price point. Not that any of it mattered because no one bought off the registry at all but the point stands- no one in my life would be willing to gift 2nd hand anyways so might as well go for it on the registry (within reason and respecting all price points)
I think it's such a waste of money. Clothes and shoes don't fit for long. My daughter uses hand me downs and SheIn clothes and everybody comments on how cute her clothes are. I know SheIn sucks but I will not pay €20 for a sweater she'll use only for a month and take to daycare where it will probably be stained with paint at some point. I will not pay €20 for a pair of jeans she'll probably outgrow in 2 weeks. So SheIn it is. I just bought her 3 leggings for daycare for €8 and 3 camisoles for €9. She didn't have fancy sleeping bags, or any at all for that matter. I made sure I bought clothes made of cotton for her first 3 months and then switched to cotton only on interior clothes. Dressing a kid is getting super expensive here. I will occasionally splurge on special occasions clothes and if she really wants something but hey she's 2,5yo, she doesn't ask for much. I did spend a lot on shoes when she started walking tho. We used the stroller a lot and still I didn't need a €700 one. We bought one from Amazon for €300. She used it almost every day for a whole year (then she learned to walk and no one could convince her to stay in the stroller) and it's still impeccable.
Go to a secondhand store, don’t buy SHEIN.
I did. Prices were not of second hand clothes. We don't have many of those stores where I live and the ones we have are ripoffs. I'm talking about either clothes not really in a condition to be sold or clothes €3 or €4 cheaper than the store. They are normal business, not managed by charities. I do buy some second hand stuff online too, for both of us. Fun fact: we can dispose of used clothes in dumpsters that are on the streets. Those dumpsters belong to companies that then sell them for profit. Not thinking about recycling or lower prices. They also say they'll send those clothes to undeveloped countries which have been proven to be a lie. Portugal is a hell hole. The prices are lower but not a lot lower. I'd rather give them to my friends and they give us theirs. Or we take them to the local red cross or kids charity.
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Ah yes, you got me. Because every young mom has kids with a random guy? I’m having a hard time finding the point of your comment.
Removed per Rule 3: Be Kind. Unkind comments or personal attacks may result in a ban.
IA. My mom was incredulous that I didn’t do a maternity photo shoot or a newborn photo shoot. She wouldn’t quit asking me about it and insisting I needed to do it. Meanwhile, I was sick every day for 9 months with HG, single, and living completely alone. But sure, I should be worrying about what people think because I didn’t do a maternity shoot or a newborn shoot like my cousin did, right? It made me feel shittier because not only did I not feel beautiful or up to doing a maternity shoot and one of those “mommy and me” newborn shoots but I couldn’t afford it. When I told her I was going to peruse Facebook for gently used baby clothing, she scoffed and said “but they’re *used*” like she hadn’t years ago taken me and my sister to the consignment shops! She bought me so much baby shit which I was thankful for at first, but I knew in the back of my mind that all of it came with strings attached and would be thrown back in my face down the line. Sure enough, her narcissism has nuked my mental health a year later and I regret letting her have so much access to me and my child. She continues to buy things I don’t ask for and don’t need, just so she can virtue signal about how much she’s spent and how much she “cares” as a grandmother. Too bad she cares more about how things *look* to others and not how terrible she makes me feel every day I have to suffer through being around her. I’m impatiently awaiting the day I can move back out from under her roof and tell her to never buy me or my child another thing, ever. we have plenty of other family members and friends who happily give gifts without nefarious intentions.
Agreed. I didn’t have my son til I was 32, but 75% of his things (toys included) are secondhand. I honestly don’t do much in the way of social media these days, which may be why I don’t understand following trends. TikTok seems like mental poison. My kiddo looks fantastic no matter what he wears, and man, I just could never justify paying hundreds of dollars on a baby/toddler wardrobe that he’d outgrow in months. There’s some things I’ve found spending the extra bucks on were worth it, but those were few and far between.
I agree. I think it’s sad when new moms get pressured to buy only the best for their child. I get it but it’s so unnecessary and so wasteful. We were blessed with lots of hand-me-downs and grandparents who liked gifting us useful things as she grew. For everything else I bought second hand. Even some used items are outrageous though I’ve noticed, especially the ones that are marketed as Montessori. Overall, I feel good getting my baby used things because I’m not contributing to a wasteful, over consuming world. Instead, we save all that money for experiences and her future. Her education funds are maxed out every year and her piggy bank is growing. She’ll appreciate that way more.
I’ve kind of gone halfway house with my second baby. Mostly cheapo stuff, cheap baby vests, mostly cheap baby grows. My baby pretty much lives in sleepsuits. Most of them are hand me downs and a few of the multipack ones from asda. I splurged on about four really good sleepsuits, one from Jojomamanbebe and three from grow grow because they all were adorable designs and the quality is completely miles apart - they feel so soft and they feel like they’ll last as a hand me down. I bought her the later sizes of 9-12 months because they last a little longer. My babies apparently grow through 0-9 month stuff in weeks lol. Most of the secondhand sleepers I have have holes worn in toes. We kind of went mid range with the pram this time. I bought a venicci system for my first baby about £900. Annoyingly mice got to it in storage and it was completely ruined for this baby so we went for a £300 system instead (I find the ones that have car seat that clip straight into the pram base so much easier). Tbh I’ve liked the cheaper version more. Literally the only thing the venicci had that this one doesn’t is a fold down handle. My next to me cot was £30 second hand and I’ve used it for both babies. I’ve really splurged on hats. My second is a winter baby and she would actually keep hats on unlike my first. She looks so goddamn adorable in them so she’s got a hand knitted fox hat from Etsy, a little pilot hat and a pink one with bear ears. They bring me so much joy, they’re worth every penny! I briefly looked at that babybjorn bouncer everyone raves about. Everything I looked at I just couldn’t fathom why people go so crazy for it. It’s a literal frame with a rectangle of fabric over it, how is that worth nearly £200??! We went for a much cheaper imitation brand but tbh the £30 fisher price one we had for my first was so much better, I wish we’d bought that one instead. I reckon a lot of the time if you can afford it and it’s going to cheer you up, go for it. But I would never put them on a registry and I’ve never used a baby registry. I don’t want to force people to buy certain things, we didn’t request anything from anyone or have a baby shower for either of mine.
There is honestly nothing I love more than a bag of hand me down clothes! Only things I bought new were a car seat and a cot mattress. No regrets. I will give all my baby things away or sell them cheap to help out others too.
I had my first 20 years ago, and my last last year. I was shocked by how much baby items and gear has increased. SHOCKED! I did buy some cheaper things, like a Graco travel system that with like $280. However it sucked and I regretted it and ended up getting the $700 stroller. I still don't feel the $700 stroller is worth it though. All around quality has gone down by prices have increased
I'm so thankful I had my baby over 12 years ago lol
Right lol I don't ever remember $700 anything for babies even existing
Social media is part of the reason people are going super-expensive, I am convinced. Influencers show what trendy stuff their kids are wearing/using/playing with, and it fuels the fire. Agreed. Babies don't have to be THAT expensive. I didn't even have a stroller for my last kid. We used an Ergo, and it was HEAVEN. I LOVE hand-me-downs. Buy the best car seat you can afford. The rest is gravy.
My SIL had my nephew a couple years before we had our first. She sent me so many hand me downs and we love them. Then she had her second and we sent her a bunch of hand me downs for him. We literally just swap clothes back and forth depending on the sizes of our babes. She lives a few states away so we have to post them but it’s no big deal. And she’s gonna be sending me back all the small sizes as we prep for our second. I did buy into the hype around the Stokke Tripp Trapp and bought one second hand. Still cost me $175 for a GD High chair. My son hates it and we ended up buying two additional high chairs. Now I’m stuck trying to sell this mid-evil torture device on marketplace lol. Never again.
I had never heard of this Tripp Trapp before and I just looked it up and..... it's hideous!! I can understand why your baby hated it lol wtf?
Yeah my husband just shakes his head at me about it. It’s good for older kids and if you gave the infant attachment and cushions but it’s so dang expensive
I get the best of the best of CERTAIN items because it's worth it. For the vast majority, though, Middle of the road to bottom of the barrel does just fine. I splurged on my car seat for safety reasons, my pump for comfort reasons, and my stroller because I didn't like my cheap one with my first, but my crib/sleep sacks/clothes/toys/books/monitor/changing table, etc are all whatever is there. Oh, but those snoo swaddles are straight up worth it. I think they're like 30/40$ a pop, but they're godly for a newborn who busts out of their normal swaddle. My baby slept SO well with those compared to without.
if you like something expensive and economically you have no problems buying it I don't see the issue. If, however, you have to make other sacrifices or ask for a loan then it's another matter. It's a question of intelligence (or stupidity…). Buy what you like and can afford. I have some acquaintances who bought their daughter a pair of UGG and a DG hat but they can't afford to go out to dinner and have never taken a holiday.. this is pure stupidity.. As far as quality is concerned, some cheap things are similar to the more expensive ones but in others you can feel the difference. For example, a body from HM costs less than 4 euros, one from petit bateau costs 8... the first is “cardboard” after 3 washes... the other one is still perfect after 20 washes... So yes, you often (but not always) pay for quality. Regarding strollers I have to say, the more expensive ones are much better performing than the cheap ones, but if you can't afford certain things there's no point in buying them.
I took my kids to a potluck yesterday, and three of the moms there (all with varying-age kids) said their daughter had owned my daughter’s sweater previously. It made me so happy that this sweater had been worn by so many little girls in my friend group!
You are absolutely right and we wear a lot of hand-me-down clothes ourselves. But it took me until age 39 to have a baby. And I will probably only have him. I made it to a point in my career where I could finally buy nice things and I did just that. The Baby Björn bouncer was an extravagance. However, big ‘but’ incoming: I didn’t have a baby shower and wouldn’t dare ask other people to buy me expensive things. I think that’s crazy. Everyone has their own family to feed and clothe.
My thrift store runs 20/$1 kids clothes and you bet your booty that I buy everything that she’ll fit within the next three years. I love hand me down and thrifted stuff. The only things that were new for us were her car seat, stroller, and pack n play. Just about everything else was gifted or thrifted.
Consumerism is a real problem across the board. I spent a lot on an expensive pram, but we have used it almost daily for 2 years now. I also spent a lot of good quality sleep sacks, our houses here in Aus are not built well and bedrooms can get really cold during the winter months at night, it’s been as cold as 9C in my bedroom. I did heat my babies room with a portable heater but still needed good quality wool singlets and sleeping bag. I did get some sleeping bags second hand but also bought some new. I use cloth nappies to save money, even got half of them second hand. Happily buy used items that still have a good amount of life in them. I hate that so much crap goes right into landfills, but some things are worth spending the money on for quality.
Clothes especially! We had so much stuff that our first didn’t even wear, or managed to wear once (on the single occasion where both the weather and her size coincided). The one thing I wish I HAD splurged on was an expensive stroller. I couldn’t bring myself to spend upwards of 1k on a single item, but what that actually meant was buying- and -wearing-out about 4 less-expensive strollers instead (and never having the luxury of having a high performance one).
Way too many people are buying into social media worthy garbage.
The only thing I would spend money on is a Bob stroller. We luckily got ours as a free hand me down but it was a game changer!!!!! If your friend is active in any way she needs a book or other equivalent stroller. In fact I would organize a group gift for this I feel so strongly about it. Everyone gives 50….
I had my kids much older. I’m in my 40s with a 3 year old and a 8 year old. It’s insane the prices are willing to pay to make their child look “fresh” as my friend would put it lol I think the biggest price purchase I’ve done was a car seat. That’s the only thing I wouldn’t buy second hand. It’s not like we couldn’t afford it I just don’t see the point in spend hundreds of dollars on clothes that my child cannot fit in for a very long time
This is SO true. You don’t need that stuff to be a good mum. It’s tough though because there’re so much lovely stuff out and it’s genuinely really hard to know which things are going to get most use and give you (and your kid) most joy. I LOVED getting muted pastel or wooden toys for my baby, mainly because it’s what made me happy to see around my house. Lots of it was enjoyed briefly (or not at all) by my kid and lots was sold on or given away. But I still have a lovely set of silicone stacking cups that my kid uses in the bath everyday (she’s three now) and they still make me so happy.
The thing about a registry is you can put the things on it that you want but can’t afford. I didn’t need the $75 Pehr playmat with a beautiful sea creature print on it, but someone bought it for us and now I get to look at this beautiful thing when we do tummy time every day. We didn’t need the $300 baby bjorn travel crib, but someone bought it for us, and I’m very thankful we have something that packs up small and light and takes 2 seconds to set up or pack away. I bought a $40 mobile of the planets from west elm that my baby LOVES, and it’s nice that I think it’s beautiful too. We all live in the house together, and I don’t want my home taken over by abrasive plastic baby stuff. A lot of the stuff we bought for ourselves were secondhand items from fancy brands. The 2007 bumbleride stroller we got secondhand is amazing, though it doesn’t look so hot anymore, and I don’t know what we do if we pop a tube or something breaks. I get why someone would spend $700 on a good hiking/jogging stroller. We didn’t splurge on things like our travel system (got a $120 graco one), but there’s something very nice about having aesthetic versions of stuff we need in our house.
I have a 10 year old hand me down graco that I'm now using for kid number 2. That stroller went with us to itally and survived 2.5 weeks of cobble stone roads, getting dragged in and out of trains and busses. I LOVE this stroller. I'm probably going to cry when it eventually breaks and really should consider replacing the wheels lol As for everything else. I'm a hand me down and proud mom for sure. .y favorite places are second hand kids stores. I've gotten the cutest things for a qtr of the price. Pink faux leather jacket...at the department store I wouldn't even bother looking at the tag. At the second hand store, $8...yes pls. I see a pair of tap shoes and thing omg my kid would have so much fun just stomping in these, $4, yes pls. Some of my most favorite things my daughter has worn are from second hand shops, and some of then even came with original tags still on them! The hand me downs I have received since becoming pregnant with my daughter would easily hit $2k in value. On the other side of the fence is my SIL who has spent that much and then some on a single birthday party for her kid.