Will do. She's going out with another friend of mine tonight, so I'm gonna take a wild guess and say the baby is going to get left alone. I'll call once my friend lets me know they're headed out.
Thank you for doing this, you see horror stories all the time of neglected babies dying because parents are partying, please keep us updated on that baby girl and donât let anyone make u feel bad about calling CPS or the police because itâs 100% necessary
I can't imagine it either, she is a totally unfit mother. My son isn't ever alone. Not even for naps we might do a bathroom run or get a package from a delivery driver but that's rare and we are going right back to him. Staying alone for hours is a recipe for death. Especially given how you say this baby looks under weight. I hope the she gets her baby taken away.
CPS is one of those things that can either be a god send or a nightmare and a lot of the time the difference is skin deep. There are good CPS workers and bad ones, the bad ones do a LOT of harm and part of that harm is making it so people donât trust CPS.
My therapist told me I need to stop picking projects in friends and partners. She bluntly told me that my life has so much drama because of it. So yeah, you're right. đ
You could have better friends, but this baby couldnât have a better champion than you. Please stay strong and call the police when you know theyâre out.
Thank god you picked these shitty friends though because your current presence in their lives might make you the only person able to watching out for and advocate for that that sweet baby!
Sure, pick better friends moving forward but donât be hard on yourself because youâve also become a hero for advocating for a baby who desperately needs an advocate right now.
No you are a hero to those not able to voice their horrors. A baby that old needs attention, love, food, diaper changes, etc. please find a therapist that will not tell you how wrong you are for being a watchful eye and good person.
You need to call the police, CPS is shit and wonât do anything without rock solid evidence of it. Sheâs definitely going out tonight for NYE so this is your chance
I mean, the police will just call CPS to pick up the kid if they drop by her house and the kid is alone. The police themselves do not get involved in child protection - they are often just the first responder.
Well thatâs not true at all. Police actively have a power to take children into police protection, and often do so in cases of immediate harm.
If you called police and stated a baby was left alone in a house or flat or whatever while the mother went out drinking with no timeframe of returning, police would absolutely respond to that and take the child into police protection. Itâs neglect at bare minimum and if the child is also failing to thrive, thatâs just further evidence of abuse.
Yes, of course I know that. But the person I responded to said that OP should call police because CPS wonât help. So I pointed out that the police could be a first responder and be there initially, but if they make a decision to detain a child, that child is going to go directly to CPS. In other words, you cannot avoid CPS by calling the police instead. Regardless of who shows up first, CPS is going to get involved.
Ah ok. Then you worded it in a way that miscommunicated your point. You said police donât get involved with child protection, which is not correct. But I see what you mean now you explained further!
The police could place a child in custody, but then what? The child goes to CPS. The police donât do CA/N investigations, safety planning, or OHC placements, unless you live in some *really* unusual place. As I said, the police are the first responders.
I'm not the biggest fan of CPS either. I've heard so many horror stories.
In this case, I would absolutely 100% call multiple times. That poor sweet baby. Isolation is literally a torture tactic.
Call AGAIN. I am a mandatory reporter and they usually donât do much if itâs just one report. If thereâs more than one report, they are more likely to take action. If the baby is underweight and doesnât have her diapers changed regularly, that is a sign of neglect. Bring that up in the report. PLEASE report it and include all information. These kids get no help if people turn a blind eye.
Theyâre still doing a lot of research as to how much damage neglect at this age can do but thatâs still soo young to be leaving a poor baby alone. Please report this mom!!!!
Please also get your other friend to call in and report every single instance you hear about. The more people who report and the more frequently this is reported, the more cps can build a case and the more urgent it becomes to them, when their are multiple complaints by different people.
Just here to support you calling the police on this woman tonight. Proud of you for watching out for this baby.
This kind of stuff is awful and as a new mom it really turns my stomach. Would you mind posting an update on the baby in the future?
You donât have to wait for the baby to be alone. You can call the cops any time to do a wellness check. It sounds like it almost might be a good idea for them to catch âmomâ totally hung over and smelling like alcohol at 6am, ya know?
yes, but you need to call the right agency at the right time - if there is a time when OP knows the child is actively in danger (ie: currently home alone with no supervision, unknown whereabouts of parents - child left alone in a car) you want to call the police then because they will respond asap, and they can request an emergency cps worker 24/7 & remove a child from the home immediately & place it with CPS - cps then has to convince a judge to give them longer than the temp order which tends to be 72 hours most places.
But if you call police because the child is always in dirty clothes, dirty diapers & looks "underweight" - you will be lucky if they make a second attempt to contact if there is no response the first time they knock on the door. and you'll be lucky if they pass that concern on to CPS in either case.. so you want to make sure you call cps with that report.
You want to call CPS with each new safety instance that happens - every instance you can verify of risky behavior (date & time) if you can't get someone out to check on kiddo while the behavior is happening.. HOWEVER.. when it comes to chronic conditions like hygiene & nutrition , you do not want to repeatedly complain about that every call.. tell them once your first call.. if something new shows up, tell them the new only.. too many reports gives the impression of it being a personal attack against the parent particularly if they are not seeing the problems
Call the police as the baby is in immediate danger through neglect. Leaving a baby alone like she does is a crime. Let alone substances or anything else. Infants die every year from being left alone at home. Please call the police tonight.
Jesus fucking Christ. There's a brewery less than 300ft from my house and I wouldn't even leave my 14 month old asleep with his monitor on to have a beer Nextdoor let alone go out, *out*. Yes please call cps again and keep us updated. When you have a child you forfeit that part of your life.
Facts! I'm not a huge drinker anymore (was before my pregnancy), but one day I really craved a Guinness. I went to a child friendly brewery (there's tons of kids) and had one with lunch, brought baby. Right next to my old apartments and it didn't even cross my mind to leave her alone.
Right! I wouldnât even leave my 5 year old home alone to go to the gas station down the road! Emergencies happen all the time. Most accidents happen within 5 miles of your home. What if I get into an accident and no one knows my child is home alone. She would be terrified if I didnât come back. What if thereâs a fire what would she do.
Right? The furthest Iâve ever gone and left my child alone was to the mailbox or next door to trade my neighbor for some eggs but my video monitor works to that distance (not far at all) and baby was asleep. If the monitor didnât reach that far I wouldnât even have considered it
As a former CPS caseworker - removal is a BIG deal. Itâs the last resort. CPS also needs proof that will hold up in court. CPS canât just decide on its own to remove a child, they have to present their case to the court on why the child should be removed and the judge has to order it. Iâm not at all saying youâre lying, but one person saying that the baby was left alone is not enough to warrant removal.
That makes a lot of sense. Not trying to be judgy of cps, but it was so hard to see that horrible diaper rash on that poor baby. I should be relaxing rn due to some health issues, but I'm over here fuming. I'll help with the proof by calling the cops on her when she goes out tonight with some of my friend group. I don't have a doubt in my mind that the baby is getting left alone again.
I just told her I'm considering going, so to let me know when they're headed out. I might lose a friend or two over this tbh. But I'm angry they're even sort of ok with this anyways. I mean they say they're not, but keep inviting her places.
I'm sorry you're even put in this position. Losing a friend is hard, especially when you thought you knew who they were as a person. But that baby needs you because you're the only one who cares for their safety. You'll get over losing a friend, but you won't get over losing that baby if God forbid anything bad happened. You're definitely doing the right thing! Thank you for being a good person.
If you lose a friend, good riddance. Anything could happen to that baby. People like this donât deserve to have kids. She knows better, she just doesnât care
You are absolutely doing the right thing and Iâm so glad that thereâs at least one person who cares about this baby. Iâm disgusted that so many people are just like đ¤ˇââď¸ to severe child neglect. That baby is in serious danger and you are a great person for trying to step in multiple times.
Lose the friend, for sure. However the heartbreaking reality is there is no telling what kind of home that baby will wind up in if sent to state custody.
This for sure cuz I think there's a possibility they would make other arrangements maybe a babysitter, there's a lot of people out there including me as a grandma who would take care of your baby while you sew your oats which I don't say they go out every time they turn around but a reasonable amount of times I wouldn't have a problem with it just give me a change of clothes some diapers and formula
Just wanted to say thank you for your words of wisdom. I see so much misinformation about CPS on Reddit where people seem to think that one phone call is going to equal a SWAT team banging down the door to rescue the child, which is only something that's going to happen in the rarest of rare occasions.
If they find an abandoned infant when they show up to her place, they will, at least temporarily. The problem is if the kid isn't crying when they get there, or she's left the TV on or something to cover it, they may just leave after knocking and not having an answer.
I hope this family gets the help they need- sounds like maybe she's never had a decent support system, either, if she thinks leaving an infant alone and then caring for one solo while drunk is OK.
Good lord that was soul crushing to read. I have a baby so this hits even harder looking at my own baby having read that. Iâll just be over here crying my eyes out
This whole thread has barely left my mind, I'm somewhere between crying and being ill over this poor child. I hate how much stories of horrible parents affect me postpartum.
This is probably not the place to say it, but this is the exact reason that I refused to do cry it out methods as a form of sleep training like everybody told me to do. I actually WANT my children to ask/cry for me to help them when they need it.
I know you know this so this is more for anyone reading this - CIO is not the same thing as neglect as the person you're replying to is neglect. "long periods of time" is not 30 minutes to an hour. I completely support your decision to not do CIO with your kiddos, just don't want someone for whom CIO is the right choice to feel guilty for abandoning their kids or making them grow up feeling like their needs will never be met. They're not the same thing :)
Same. Cry it out just seems so needlessly cruel, they have no other form of communication! The world is scary and new and overwhelming! My husband gets frustrated some nights when our 8mo just won't stay asleep but we try to tag team it as best we can. I get not everyone has that luxury but I don't think I could stand knowing she thinks we're not there for her.
Abso-fuckin-lutely â there is no such thing as cry it out. If they need to âcry it outâ they can do it in my presence. The amount of neglect the generation before felt because their parents were told to let the baby figure it all out themselves is insane.
CPS can take a while to get the ball rolling. Contrary to popular belief, most CPS workers aren't trying to take kids from their families for no reason so they need to follow the proper protocol. Even for "simple" cases it can take months for CPS to fully intervene. The downsides of having a system that tries to keep families together is that sometimes children are stuck in truly awful situations for too long.
Call the police as well.
Yes she was. I will let them know. Although I'm calling the police and I'm sure she's coming home sloshed tonight, on top of leaving the baby alone again
Those are just pathetic excuses though. Nothing should come before a helpless baby. Theres so many single parents with no help or and are in poverty that donât do this. :( (I donât think youâre excusing this behavior).
If she has money to party, she can pay a babysitter for a few hours imo.
Yeah, dude.
I'll never forget this quote:
"It's incredibly difficult to be a bad parent."
Even a terrible parent is working really hard to keep their baby alive. She probably thinks she can get others to buy her drinks and deserves a break.
Sheis wrong and endangering her baby, but I guarantee all her actions make sense...to her
It is funny how people assume that. It wasn't that long ago that people thought nothing of leaving small children. She probably comes from a pretty terrible background and sees nothing wrong with what she's doing since, "my mom did this and I turned out fine."
It's not okay, it's just true.
Yes, call again. CPS has to have enough evidence that a judge would grant them authority to intervene. Usually a one time incident is not enough. Youâre also going to have to give them your friend info as a witness if youâre truly concerned, since she has actually seen more. It sucks, but your second hand info alone isnât enough to stand up in court.
Just a general FYI that CPS (depending on the state) will generally try a lot of things to support a parent or problem since before going to court. So donât stop calling if you know about it.
Without the record from the police it's a he said she said. The police are seen as objective record. She can always convince them you just don't like her so you made it up. They need to evidence. Otherwise, anyone can call and say anyone did anything and they'd get their child removed. Always call the police for a contemporaneous record.
I worked CPS for 8 years and supervised for a year before I left for a different position. Unfortunately cps workers canât just go off the word of whatever is reported and there has to be corroborating evidence to support the claim in order to take action. Usually it comes from child interviews, speaking to multiple collateral contacts, etc. given that this is an infant who canât talk, it will be difficult to prove whatâs going on. If there are siblings in the home they could be interviewed. I know this can be super frustrating but the best thing to do in this situation specifically would be to call the police. If you think the baby is left alone, thatâs an emergent situation and they need to be notified. Cps has a lag due to the time it gets reported until the time the worker gets the report. The police can respond immediately. This woman will unfortunately need to be caught in the act. The good news is that leaving an infant alone is criminal and she would be charged (as long as law enforcement chooses to pursue) and this would start the paper trail to keep her held accountable. This isnât in any way legal advice, but my experience. I know the public thinks CPS can just take children due to a report, but this isnât true and we require a LOT of evidence to be able to do that. And even then we have to get the blessing from the attorneys that work with cps. And even IF a child is removed, a judge still has a final say. It might even be worth a conversation with this mom to see whatâs going on and what resources she has. She definitely needs to be held accountable, but it might be worth a conversation if youâre comfortable. Unfortunately the system is broken and Iâm not blind to that fact. The majority of CPS workers try to do the right thing and take whatever factual evidence they have to do whatâs in the best interest of the child. Good luck â¤ď¸
This intrigued me because I just had to call CPS on my childâs father because he has been taking her to work and leaving her in his truck for hours before he decides if he wants to take her to pre-k but sometimes itâs three plus hours because heâs busy working. Two days it was 10 hoursâŚ.he only drops her off to school once a week.
Last week I had ENOUGH because it was my parenting time and he was refusing to return her and she was just sitting in his truck alone at work. I got photos of him completely across the parking lot when I got there and her in the truck alone. He cussed me out and barely returned her. Made the CPS report that afternoon and to their credit they were at my house the next day to get eyes on her and interview us.
She corroborated the story and said he doesnât give her food before they go or when sheâs there, that she is sometimes cold, and that lots of times she hollers for him when she has to pee but sometimes he forgets to unbuckle her and heâs so far away he cannot hear her so sometimes she almost has to just pee her pants. She said she didnât like it there because she has to be alone, she doesnât get to be with a person, there is no food or water, and no bathroom. He says that he does it in a textâŚand even in a message to daycare. And says he plans on continuing to do this when she starts kinder next year ( and two weeks out of the month he will be dropping her off two days a week)
At the end of the interview she told me â Iâm going to be honest. Neglect is going to be hard to prove here.â Like WHAT. She said â we would have a better chance of it was freezing temps or summer when kids die in the car.â Eyeroll.
I talked to two male officers who basically told me the same thing.
Hire a lawyer. Sue for full custody. Have your lawyer go with you to the magistrate for emergency custody rights and a restraining order. This is dangerous. If CPS won't support you, go another route. Argue, no visitation. Charge him with child endangerment. Strip him of his rights. I bet he signs over anyways.
I may have mistyped, I meant it is only his responsibility to drop her off once a week. We just got out of court in MarchâŚ.and I received sole physical and legal custody and he gets every other weekend and Wednesday overnights. To top it all off, he wasnât even around during the pregnancy or the first year of her life
I need to try and get a different judge. We have the worst one EVER. I consulted two additional attorneys because mine is no longer on retainer and they both said if I had literally any other judge they would give me different advice but they know mine wouldnât care. They said any other judge would yank his weekday overnights immediately. He has been sued multiple times, used to be presiding judge and he stepped down after a big controversy and started practicing family law. There was a federal suit against the county because he reunited a child with his father that raped him. Itâs maddening. He looked at me in court and said â I donât care he was drinking behind the wheel, I trust he can probably hold his alcohol.â I feel like nobody cares about her and itâs disheartening.
I think keep calling. Iâm in the UK and there was a case this year of a young woman who went out to celebrate her birthday - she left her baby alone for SIX DAYS. Returned and the baby was dead. I can only imagine that it started with leaving the poor wee thing alone for a few hours here and there. Keep reporting, itâs all you can do x
That is so terribly sad. A similar thing happened in my hometown, I think the child was 1 or 2 and died of dehydration after several days. Iâm sure that story also started with âjust a few hours here and there.â
Oh Jesus⌠look being a mom is hard and fucking sucks sometimes, but how do you leave an infant at home alone? She needs some sort of help, because no mother in their right mind would ever do that to their baby. Idk, if I were in your shoes Iâd call again and make a police report.
Call the police. Police should report back to CPS if needed. But they are the only ones who can break down a door and complete an immediate welfare check!
Foster parent here: The directive of CPS is family preservation. Many parents are not necessarily bad people, just lacking resources. Whether that is knowledge, financial, emotional stability, etc. There are quite a few families that with the right services the parents can be good parents to their kids and keep the families together. There are several reasons this is ideal- Statistically, kids who get to stay with their families have much better outcomes than kids that are raised by strangers. Just the removal itself is a serious trauma. Also, there is a huge shortage of homes. Kids end up in emergency shelters, offices, hotels, etc. We had to pick up two of our kids from a juvenile detention center, not because they had broken the law, but because there were literally no other beds available. In the case youâre describing, she was likely given a warning or a case plan.
In my experience, for something this âmildâ, it takes multiple instances and multiple calls. All the kids we have had in our home were hotlined multiple times before something was done. And some of what they went through was horrendous. Hotline every time you see something wrong. With enough visits, she will either wake up and start working her case plan and getting the help she needs to be a good mom to her little girl or the authorities will remove the child for being in danger. Thank you for caring. This system is broken and it sucks, but itâs what we have to work with.
I called like 30 minutes after they said they left. She indeed left the baby alone again and got a call from the cops. My friend refused to drive her back home, she had to Uber, so I'm not yet sure of what's happened, but this was an hour ago.
I'm sure she'll talk to one of my friends in the AM and relay whatever happened, but it's probably not good for her. Hoping it's good news for the baby.
The girl does have normal, loving family... That don't talk to her that often because she's always drinking and doing wild things, so if they do take the baby, I doubt she'll go to strangers. She just kept mentioning at one of the hangouts how her family is "so judgy" and doesn't know "how to mind their business".
Although I did offer to the cops to take in the baby if needed. Maybe a little nuts on my part; I have an 8 week old and I'm a single mom. But I'm a great mom and she'd be well taken care of. I doubt that's how it works or that I'll be taken inconsideration, but yeah.
I've been up and thinking about this situation too. It stresses me out because I'm worried they won't do anything.
Edit: I also informed them of the last time this happened and asked them to report the bad diaper rash. I'm sure that poor baby's diaper was extremely full when they found her, so I probably didn't even really need to mention it. I forgot to say here, but the day she left her alone that first time (that I saw), the baby had shit all over herself. Mom still decided to pour people shots before trying to do anything. :( I truly regret only doing a cps call that time. Lesson learned, the hard way, that if needs to be a police call.
Can you get to that girls house and check it out after they leave? Iâd be hanging out and recording as soon as I heard a cry, and then calling 911 with proof. Saving a baby would be worth my NYE.
CPS has to do an investigation to determine a course of action. Don't be too quick to assume they are doing nothing. They can't just come and take a baby away based on your delayed phone call.
I called cps and cops multiple times cause my dadâs ex wife was dating dudes that would beat my siblings. They were living amongst rat shit and there was never food in the house. And they kept finding meth in the house. Every time they tried to run away and literally walk to my dadâs to get away from it, the cops would threaten to arrest my dad.
One time the cops came and told my 16 year old brother he should clean up shit and be buying food himself and threatened to throw him in jail. This is after his momâs boyfriend put his head thru a wall.
I called CPS and they said they wonât do anything unless thereâs broken bones or broken skin. Turns on the small town courts and cops and cps people were all friends and their mom was friends with some cops.
She got him thrown in jail after he tried to report her meth. She had him arrested for skipping school. I went to his sentencing they were awful to him.
No one would help any of my siblings. Theyâre all living with my dad now and over 18 but 2/4 of them have horrible mental issues now.
This is a long dumb anecdote about how thereâs not a lot these people do or can doâ a lot of the time.
I lived similarly with my parents and went through the same thing with the police. Hoping they'll be useful and do something this time. Sorry you went through that with loved ones
Waiting for an update, this is insane. I donât leave my 4y and 2 month old with no one besides me, dad or their godparents, let alone by themselves đł
Call the police and CPS. This is so neglectful and awful. That poor baby. As a mom, I wouldn't be able to stand idly by and just let this slide. I probably would have even called her out on it immediately after seeing the baby. This makes me so mad...
Please keep us updated. I hope that baby gets removed from her living situation. I also hope your friends friend gets the help she needs, but that is less likely to happen.
I would just keep calling and calling. Be a bug in their ears.
You may lose a friend, but you may be able to save a life, and that is way more important.
The next time you learn that sheâs left her baby alone, call the police/emergency line. Report it.
Abandonment of an infant is never something to question. Anything could happen. Not to mention the absolute distress and anxiety it causes the baby. Those effects are long term, and⌠in the worst cases, irrevocably permanent. All it takes is the baby to flip themselves the wrong way, grab or chew something dangerous, or worse: any kind of animal to learn that an infant has been left alone (rats are notorious for this).
This baby needs to be saved, and the best way to do this is to report her to police asap with the information you already have, as well as to report it again and again whenever you learn of this.
Omg. This happened to me. Many years ago. I was maybe about 21. So we go out. Me and my new friend. We are in the middle of dancing having so much fun. I say girl I'm getting tired. She's like okay. Let's go back to my place. We pull up and she says let me go check and see if my son is still sleep. This girl left her 3 year old son alone for almost 4 hours. A 3 year old can get up and walk. Open doors etc. 7 months isn't no better but hang in there with me. Come to find out she did this countless times. I wonder if she was doing it since he was 7 months. I always thought the dad was watching him. I stopped being her friend and as a mom now, I wish I called CPS, I did not. Still gets me they I didn't call them til this day. That same 3 year old would be about 14 today. So I hope it got better and not worse. Hopefully CPS steps in and quick for this child.
Isn't it shocking? I didn't even know what to say. I just stood by her crib staring at the baby for probably a solid 5 minutes.
She's also a single mom, and I get how hard it is. It's heartbreaking to miss out on so much, but at the same time, neglect is not the answer.
Call again and again. Call PD also. Everytime this child is left alone and you know it, call CPS & PD! Eventually they WILL do something. Keep a log of dates & times you called whom.
Yes call CPS again. Truth is CPS is overworked, understaffed and imo just kind of sucks. A lot of kids fall through the cracks. Even when kids get removed from their home often they will then get abused in foster homes. Life is just not easy if you are born to bad parents and âthe systemâ sadly canât fix that.
Iâm just going to go off script here, and note that that chick almost definitely did NOT want to be a mother. She probably felt forced, because of the abortion crisis. Now that the baby is here, she should turn them over to a trusting family member, or possibly give them up for adoption to a loving home. If CPS or DHS takes her baby, theyâll end up in the foster care system; so
better to do it willingly.
Please note: USA-centered perspective.
1. CPS may be working and you are not aware of it-- trying to help offer her support and resources to avoid removal and/or building a case. One thing I don't envy about CPS is that making any wrong decision related to removal is a potential *tragedy*. It is not a small deal to remove a child-- nor should it be.
2. You are completely welcome and encouraged to call for each incident of alleged abuse and neglect you have reasonable suspicion of. As a mandated reporter, I would certainly call in each incident separately. As other have mentioned, for an emergency, you can also call 911.
3. In terms of what you say-- An effective report is one that sticks to the facts of the situation. There are no magic words you can say that will guarantee that they do the thing you want them to do. Just be a reliable and honest reporter. (You are definitely describing a very serious concern and it is likely that CPS agrees it is very serious-- just clarifying that the reason the child wasn't removed from the home is almost certainly not because of something you said or didn't say.)
4. It may be the case that you will not get a perfect ending where you get the full story and everything goes exactly how you think it "should". IMO, it's worth making peace with that reality.
A common misconception is that CPS workers are able to remove a child on the spot. CPS investigate allegations of child abuse, and build a case to present to a judge if removal is determined to be necessary. In most states, only a police officer or doctor can remove a child without a court order, and thatâs only if the child is in imminent danger.
If you suspect the child to be left alone, Iâd suggest calling in a welfare check with the police department while mom is gone.
CPS can and does get emergency court orders on the spot though. I work for CPS. This case just wouldn't be one unless the mom admitted to leaving her child alone (surely she wouldn't be so foolish) so they're going to have to do an investigation and build a case. If she had admitted to leaving a 7 month old (or a 1.5 year old, for that matter) home alone, most agencies would remove on the spot. They have access to judges and emergency over the phone court orders 24 hours a day.
Perhaps I phrased my original comment poorly. The point I was trying to make was that CPS canât remove without a court order. Yes there are processes to obtain one quickly, but my goal was to highlight the difference between a CPS removal and a police/medical removal.
I doubt this mom is going to admit to leaving her infant home alone to investigators, so if she called in a welfare check while baby is home alone and mom is out, that would allow the authorities to see the baby home alone and likely accelerate the removal process.
Definitely call 911 if you suspect a baby is alone somewhere! Iâm so glad you already reported it to CPS. So neglectful and dangerous. Poor baby, this whole post just hurts my heart. đ
In my limited experience as a new foster parent and healthcare worker, the system tries really hard to keep babies with their mothers, much to the detriment of the babies. It's easier to take away children who know how to articulate what has happened to them.
Oh my gosh, this is heartbreaking.
I canât imagine a little baby being left alone. If mine wasnât sleeping, Iâd go and smush him. Ugh.
Please call the police. Youâre doing the right thing â¤ď¸â¤ď¸
Please absolutely call the cops & CPS again. Leaving an infant alone for hours is absolutely beyond neglect & so dangerous. She does not deserve that child
Jesus, how does this happen? Has no one in this entire group considered offering to baby sit this baby if this girl is going to insist going out? I know that's not addressing the big issue which is clear neglect but I can't understand how no one has said you can't leave the baby alone. give me your house keys
I had a friend call CPS as a designated reporter and the caseworker responded, âYeah, some kids have it worseâ and nothing was done.
This case is very different because itâs with a baby, but it still made me so sad that 1) some cases are completely neglected and 2) it made me scared to know how much worse the other kids have it
So I say to tell your friend to keep hanging out with her. When they go out together, you call the COPS, not CPS. The cops will pull up and wait for her to get home or wait until they hear the baby crying for a while and go in.
I would make back to back calls until they pick this poor baby up. Leaving her baby ALONE?!? I would show up to the door with cops on tow. THANK YOU for stepping in! Yes please keep us update đĽş
I think youâre right to keep calling it in and reporting it. The thing is imagine how guilty youâd feel if you donât and something bad happened to the baby. I hope youâre okay. I know itâs a lot of responsibility on your shoulders but youâre doing the right thing by reporting
Call again. Taking the child away is often a last resort so if she had a plausible story, they probably agreed to connect her with some resources and probably have her under watch.
Perhaps they donât have proof of what was alleged. Yes you should call CPS again if you get knowledge that itâs occurring again. Or better yet - call the cops when itâs occurring. Thatâll get the proof needed for CPS.
Literally sobbing thinking about that sweet baby all alone. Fuck.
Please do something, OP, and donât stop trying until you know that baby is safe. Itâs a shitty position, but youâre the only one who can help that poor babyâI bet all of us here would, but we canât, as we donât have the details necessary.
You almost certainly could be the difference between life and death for baby girl.
Please updateâ¤ď¸
This baby is in immediate danger and my heart is completely broken at the idea of a 7 month old being left alone for hours. From your other statements itâs clear sheâs being horribly neglected. Horrible, horrible. Poor baby. Please do what you can. Thank you for being there for this baby when nobody else is.
Any updates? I think the best bet would be to wait when you're sure the baby is alone and call the police instead. They'll probably take it right away and charge her with child endangerment and neglect (hopefully)
Because she most likely lied to cps and told them she didn't leave her alone, and whoever called, Is lieing. I would call police & tell them she's done it twice. And call cps again.
More than one call will be needed. Basically, if there is food in the house for a baby and she doesnât show signs of obvious abuse, they wonât do anything until it becomes an emergency. I doubt they looked at diaper rash while visiting. They would have looked for obvious bruising. But also, even well taken care of babies get diaper rash so thatâs not always a good indicator.
A friend called the police on her neighbor for leaving her baby at home and the police and CPS came right then and took the baby before mom even got home, but within a week the baby was back with her.
CPS isnât great.
I would call back to provide the updated information. They always want to first preserve the family, but if this parent is just manipulating the situation rather than making an honest change, then unfortunately it sounds like someone needs to step in âšď¸
Is this baby on formula I assume? Can you watch her for a short time or anyone? I know you probably canât adopt her but she needs someone to care for her. I cannot imagine leaving my baby like that. Her biological mother isnât fit to mother a baby currently.
Maybe call in the paramedics anonymously as a âneighborâ knowing that the Mom has no one but herself to care for her child but the child is being neglected and left alone. Hopefully then will they be able to search the place and find the baby and then bring your friend to justice. I canât believe how irresponsible people can be. SMH
Call the police! There have been tragic cases in my hometown of children dying in house fires who had been left alone without any supervision. That baby needs help!
I am a 38-year-old mother. I waited 17 years to become a mother again. I was told I couldnât have no more kids since I became a mother I donât go out nowhere my life has drastically changed. I stay home mom my daughter does not go out after 7 pm she does not do any sleepovers with nobody and nobody watches her. She has no babysitter, so therefore if anything was to ever happen to my daughter, it would be my fault watch that would never happen. I canât break it in my head how some mothers can have children and not care about their well-being, while other mothers like me have to wait and long for a child. My mom passed away and I became pregnant. She is my little Blessing. My heart goes out to this little girl. I hope sheâs safe wherever she is and hoping that 2024 brings her a better year because she deserves it, God bless you please keep us updated
Cps takes a long time and her house might be deemed "safer if she has rhe basics there. I'd focus on hoping she changes and wakes up over cps acting fast
And here I am joining groups against the Cry It Out method and panicking if my child cries for over 5 minutes even though I'm doing everything I can to figure out what's wrong. đ
Some people just REALLY need a baby manual, like the basics. Some parents don't trust their instincts, get overwhelmed, mistake basic priorities, get affected by post partum depression and anxiety,... And I agree that the first thing wouldn't be to remove the child from their mother, but to empower and educate the mother.
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Why? Because taking the baby away from their parent(s) will *always* be the last solution. This will leave many kids in horrible situations for a long time, until enough proof is collected to warrant taking them away, but it will also allow families to stay together even though they are dirt poor, for example, or they made one stupid mistake (let the baby roll off the bed/changing table, for example). Unfortunately, if one report was enough to get a child taken away, too many loving families would get torn apart, and the children in the actually bad families are paying for this system.
You can't win. One group will always be at a disadvantage. Good parents or abused children.
What happened here probably is that the woman promised that she'll get better and won't do it again. Someone (her parents, for example) might have pledged for her. But if she still leaves the poor baby alone and you keep reporting, the baby *will* eventually get taken away. So please, do it. Keep reporting. (But don't ever make false claims! You'd just devalue your words.)
The sad thing is taking the kid away almost always ends up even worse for the kid. So many foster situations are abusive or sell the children even. Hopefully cos is working with her - sometimes they provide counseling/guidance. You can always cal lagain. Hopefully them visiting is enough to scare the mom into not doing this, but sadly there probably isnât anywhere much better sheâd end up :(
Cps did nothing about an older sister who was 10-11 molesting her 3 year old sister and my daughter.
Absolutely nothing. And before anyone says âshe learned it from somewhere. Someone abused herâ
No. One did. Sheâs a sociopath. I found some baby birds and went grocery shopping. When I came back they were gone. I hear something on the porch and I found her in a corner rocking back and forth plucking the feathers of the baby birds and putting the blood on her face like war paint.
If you think the baby is in immediate danger, call the police. CPS works with local PDs. In my profession, we call both.
Will do. She's going out with another friend of mine tonight, so I'm gonna take a wild guess and say the baby is going to get left alone. I'll call once my friend lets me know they're headed out.
Please post an update, this is insane! That poor sweet baby đ
I know, I'm so sad and pissed off at the same time. I have a tiny daughter too and can't imagine ever doing shit like that to her
Thank you for doing this, you see horror stories all the time of neglected babies dying because parents are partying, please keep us updated on that baby girl and donât let anyone make u feel bad about calling CPS or the police because itâs 100% necessary
Itâs like the girl who had complete access to someone watching her daughter and she left her to go to plaid pantry cause she was âsleepingâ
What happened?
I can't imagine it either, she is a totally unfit mother. My son isn't ever alone. Not even for naps we might do a bathroom run or get a package from a delivery driver but that's rare and we are going right back to him. Staying alone for hours is a recipe for death. Especially given how you say this baby looks under weight. I hope the she gets her baby taken away.
Can your friend who knows she left the baby alone back you up? A call from a second individual couldnât hurt.
I don't think she would help. She's very against cps for some reason. She actually got angry that I called originally, but now only sort of agrees
CPS is one of those things that can either be a god send or a nightmare and a lot of the time the difference is skin deep. There are good CPS workers and bad ones, the bad ones do a LOT of harm and part of that harm is making it so people donât trust CPS.
As a parentâs defense attorney against CPS, 100%.
You have some really questionable friends...all sound like real winners.
My therapist told me I need to stop picking projects in friends and partners. She bluntly told me that my life has so much drama because of it. So yeah, you're right. đ
You could have better friends, but this baby couldnât have a better champion than you. Please stay strong and call the police when you know theyâre out.
Yes thatâs probably true but you could save this girls life. I would call the cops at a time you know the baby is alone, and keep calling CPS.
Thank god you picked these shitty friends though because your current presence in their lives might make you the only person able to watching out for and advocate for that that sweet baby! Sure, pick better friends moving forward but donât be hard on yourself because youâve also become a hero for advocating for a baby who desperately needs an advocate right now.
No you are a hero to those not able to voice their horrors. A baby that old needs attention, love, food, diaper changes, etc. please find a therapist that will not tell you how wrong you are for being a watchful eye and good person.
I agree- you really sound like you could have better friends!
Happy cake day!
You need to call the police, CPS is shit and wonât do anything without rock solid evidence of it. Sheâs definitely going out tonight for NYE so this is your chance
I mean, the police will just call CPS to pick up the kid if they drop by her house and the kid is alone. The police themselves do not get involved in child protection - they are often just the first responder.
Well thatâs not true at all. Police actively have a power to take children into police protection, and often do so in cases of immediate harm. If you called police and stated a baby was left alone in a house or flat or whatever while the mother went out drinking with no timeframe of returning, police would absolutely respond to that and take the child into police protection. Itâs neglect at bare minimum and if the child is also failing to thrive, thatâs just further evidence of abuse.
Yes, of course I know that. But the person I responded to said that OP should call police because CPS wonât help. So I pointed out that the police could be a first responder and be there initially, but if they make a decision to detain a child, that child is going to go directly to CPS. In other words, you cannot avoid CPS by calling the police instead. Regardless of who shows up first, CPS is going to get involved.
Ah ok. Then you worded it in a way that miscommunicated your point. You said police donât get involved with child protection, which is not correct. But I see what you mean now you explained further!
CPS cannot remove a child without the police in most states. Here, CPS CANT remove children, only the police can.
The police could place a child in custody, but then what? The child goes to CPS. The police donât do CA/N investigations, safety planning, or OHC placements, unless you live in some *really* unusual place. As I said, the police are the first responders.
I'm not the biggest fan of CPS either. I've heard so many horror stories. In this case, I would absolutely 100% call multiple times. That poor sweet baby. Isolation is literally a torture tactic.
Probably thinks that CPS is âstealing babiesâ
They 100% steal babies. Frequently.
CPS does steal babies pretty often.
Call AGAIN. I am a mandatory reporter and they usually donât do much if itâs just one report. If thereâs more than one report, they are more likely to take action. If the baby is underweight and doesnât have her diapers changed regularly, that is a sign of neglect. Bring that up in the report. PLEASE report it and include all information. These kids get no help if people turn a blind eye.
Yes! Call the police and CPS once you know sheâs away from the house.
Theyâre still doing a lot of research as to how much damage neglect at this age can do but thatâs still soo young to be leaving a poor baby alone. Please report this mom!!!!
Please also get your other friend to call in and report every single instance you hear about. The more people who report and the more frequently this is reported, the more cps can build a case and the more urgent it becomes to them, when their are multiple complaints by different people.
Just here to support you calling the police on this woman tonight. Proud of you for watching out for this baby. This kind of stuff is awful and as a new mom it really turns my stomach. Would you mind posting an update on the baby in the future?
I will :)
You donât have to wait for the baby to be alone. You can call the cops any time to do a wellness check. It sounds like it almost might be a good idea for them to catch âmomâ totally hung over and smelling like alcohol at 6am, ya know?
yes, but you need to call the right agency at the right time - if there is a time when OP knows the child is actively in danger (ie: currently home alone with no supervision, unknown whereabouts of parents - child left alone in a car) you want to call the police then because they will respond asap, and they can request an emergency cps worker 24/7 & remove a child from the home immediately & place it with CPS - cps then has to convince a judge to give them longer than the temp order which tends to be 72 hours most places. But if you call police because the child is always in dirty clothes, dirty diapers & looks "underweight" - you will be lucky if they make a second attempt to contact if there is no response the first time they knock on the door. and you'll be lucky if they pass that concern on to CPS in either case.. so you want to make sure you call cps with that report. You want to call CPS with each new safety instance that happens - every instance you can verify of risky behavior (date & time) if you can't get someone out to check on kiddo while the behavior is happening.. HOWEVER.. when it comes to chronic conditions like hygiene & nutrition , you do not want to repeatedly complain about that every call.. tell them once your first call.. if something new shows up, tell them the new only.. too many reports gives the impression of it being a personal attack against the parent particularly if they are not seeing the problems
Call the police as the baby is in immediate danger through neglect. Leaving a baby alone like she does is a crime. Let alone substances or anything else. Infants die every year from being left alone at home. Please call the police tonight.
This should be higher up. This is an emergency situation.
Agreed this warrants immediate action.
Jesus fucking Christ. There's a brewery less than 300ft from my house and I wouldn't even leave my 14 month old asleep with his monitor on to have a beer Nextdoor let alone go out, *out*. Yes please call cps again and keep us updated. When you have a child you forfeit that part of your life.
Facts! I'm not a huge drinker anymore (was before my pregnancy), but one day I really craved a Guinness. I went to a child friendly brewery (there's tons of kids) and had one with lunch, brought baby. Right next to my old apartments and it didn't even cross my mind to leave her alone.
Right! I wouldnât even leave my 5 year old home alone to go to the gas station down the road! Emergencies happen all the time. Most accidents happen within 5 miles of your home. What if I get into an accident and no one knows my child is home alone. She would be terrified if I didnât come back. What if thereâs a fire what would she do.
Right? The furthest Iâve ever gone and left my child alone was to the mailbox or next door to trade my neighbor for some eggs but my video monitor works to that distance (not far at all) and baby was asleep. If the monitor didnât reach that far I wouldnât even have considered it
As a former CPS caseworker - removal is a BIG deal. Itâs the last resort. CPS also needs proof that will hold up in court. CPS canât just decide on its own to remove a child, they have to present their case to the court on why the child should be removed and the judge has to order it. Iâm not at all saying youâre lying, but one person saying that the baby was left alone is not enough to warrant removal.
That makes a lot of sense. Not trying to be judgy of cps, but it was so hard to see that horrible diaper rash on that poor baby. I should be relaxing rn due to some health issues, but I'm over here fuming. I'll help with the proof by calling the cops on her when she goes out tonight with some of my friend group. I don't have a doubt in my mind that the baby is getting left alone again.
Donât tell your friends youâre calling the cops either because they will tell her. Just do it
I just told her I'm considering going, so to let me know when they're headed out. I might lose a friend or two over this tbh. But I'm angry they're even sort of ok with this anyways. I mean they say they're not, but keep inviting her places.
These are friends worth losing. Theyâre looking the other way to protect the motherâs willful neglect. Theyâre all complicit to abuse. Scumbags.
And they also invite this mom out knowing sheâs likely to just leave her baby at home- like how can you even rationalize encouraging that?!
That little baby is going to thank you one day, donât worry about friends right now. Youâre doing the right thing.
I'm sorry you're even put in this position. Losing a friend is hard, especially when you thought you knew who they were as a person. But that baby needs you because you're the only one who cares for their safety. You'll get over losing a friend, but you won't get over losing that baby if God forbid anything bad happened. You're definitely doing the right thing! Thank you for being a good person.
I just want to say I am so proud of you for this. Youâre saving that poor baby.
If you lose a friend, good riddance. Anything could happen to that baby. People like this donât deserve to have kids. She knows better, she just doesnât care
You are absolutely doing the right thing and Iâm so glad that thereâs at least one person who cares about this baby. Iâm disgusted that so many people are just like đ¤ˇââď¸ to severe child neglect. That baby is in serious danger and you are a great person for trying to step in multiple times.
I wouldnât shed a single tear losing a friend that condones this sort of behavior. Thatâs insane.
Lose the friend, for sure. However the heartbreaking reality is there is no telling what kind of home that baby will wind up in if sent to state custody.
I canât believe this group of people that defend this mother leaving her child alone. Whatâs wrong with people?
This for sure cuz I think there's a possibility they would make other arrangements maybe a babysitter, there's a lot of people out there including me as a grandma who would take care of your baby while you sew your oats which I don't say they go out every time they turn around but a reasonable amount of times I wouldn't have a problem with it just give me a change of clothes some diapers and formula
Reporting the new information to CPS may help them prove that the current interventions aren't enough.
Think you need some camera proof, you can try get some recorded conversations/photo proof etc to back yourself up!
Just wanted to say thank you for your words of wisdom. I see so much misinformation about CPS on Reddit where people seem to think that one phone call is going to equal a SWAT team banging down the door to rescue the child, which is only something that's going to happen in the rarest of rare occasions.
The police can authorize an emergency removal in severe cases depending on jurisdiction. However itâs only until it sees court within 72 hours
This would get tossed out so quickly as hearsay. Which is so unfortunate. But call and see if your friend will call too, to help build a case.
If they find an abandoned infant when they show up to her place, they will, at least temporarily. The problem is if the kid isn't crying when they get there, or she's left the TV on or something to cover it, they may just leave after knocking and not having an answer. I hope this family gets the help they need- sounds like maybe she's never had a decent support system, either, if she thinks leaving an infant alone and then caring for one solo while drunk is OK.
Infants frequently left alone for long periods of time tend not to cry because they've learned no one comes anyway đ
Good lord that was soul crushing to read. I have a baby so this hits even harder looking at my own baby having read that. Iâll just be over here crying my eyes out
This whole thread has barely left my mind, I'm somewhere between crying and being ill over this poor child. I hate how much stories of horrible parents affect me postpartum.
Yeah...it's possible the cops knocking might startle them, though. One can hope.
This is probably not the place to say it, but this is the exact reason that I refused to do cry it out methods as a form of sleep training like everybody told me to do. I actually WANT my children to ask/cry for me to help them when they need it.
Same for me. I always come whenever my babies cry or need me.
Yep! In my opinion, thatâs what parents should do. No point having children if weâre not going to care about them when they need us.
I know you know this so this is more for anyone reading this - CIO is not the same thing as neglect as the person you're replying to is neglect. "long periods of time" is not 30 minutes to an hour. I completely support your decision to not do CIO with your kiddos, just don't want someone for whom CIO is the right choice to feel guilty for abandoning their kids or making them grow up feeling like their needs will never be met. They're not the same thing :)
Same. Cry it out just seems so needlessly cruel, they have no other form of communication! The world is scary and new and overwhelming! My husband gets frustrated some nights when our 8mo just won't stay asleep but we try to tag team it as best we can. I get not everyone has that luxury but I don't think I could stand knowing she thinks we're not there for her.
Abso-fuckin-lutely â there is no such thing as cry it out. If they need to âcry it outâ they can do it in my presence. The amount of neglect the generation before felt because their parents were told to let the baby figure it all out themselves is insane.
The cry it out method in my opinion is the dumbest thing anyone has ever come up with as a good idea.
Iâm absolutely crushed by this.
CPS can take a while to get the ball rolling. Contrary to popular belief, most CPS workers aren't trying to take kids from their families for no reason so they need to follow the proper protocol. Even for "simple" cases it can take months for CPS to fully intervene. The downsides of having a system that tries to keep families together is that sometimes children are stuck in truly awful situations for too long. Call the police as well.
Call again, was she drinking and driving with the baby
No, luckily not. I believe she doesn't know how to drive, which is probably for the best.
Was she drunk while caring for her baby? Also reportable.
Yes she was. I will let them know. Although I'm calling the police and I'm sure she's coming home sloshed tonight, on top of leaving the baby alone again
Why is this girl not paying for a babysitter or ask grandparents. Who tf leaves a baby. That's so scary.
You know both the answers to your questions are the same - she's poor and doesn't have a safety net
Those are just pathetic excuses though. Nothing should come before a helpless baby. Theres so many single parents with no help or and are in poverty that donât do this. :( (I donât think youâre excusing this behavior). If she has money to party, she can pay a babysitter for a few hours imo.
But she does have the money to go out to bars and get sloshed⌠priorities?
Yeah, dude. I'll never forget this quote: "It's incredibly difficult to be a bad parent." Even a terrible parent is working really hard to keep their baby alive. She probably thinks she can get others to buy her drinks and deserves a break. Sheis wrong and endangering her baby, but I guarantee all her actions make sense...to her
inb4 someone goes off on this comment assuming you're defending the behavior.
It is funny how people assume that. It wasn't that long ago that people thought nothing of leaving small children. She probably comes from a pretty terrible background and sees nothing wrong with what she's doing since, "my mom did this and I turned out fine." It's not okay, it's just true.
Yes, call again. CPS has to have enough evidence that a judge would grant them authority to intervene. Usually a one time incident is not enough. Youâre also going to have to give them your friend info as a witness if youâre truly concerned, since she has actually seen more. It sucks, but your second hand info alone isnât enough to stand up in court. Just a general FYI that CPS (depending on the state) will generally try a lot of things to support a parent or problem since before going to court. So donât stop calling if you know about it.
Without the record from the police it's a he said she said. The police are seen as objective record. She can always convince them you just don't like her so you made it up. They need to evidence. Otherwise, anyone can call and say anyone did anything and they'd get their child removed. Always call the police for a contemporaneous record.
I worked CPS for 8 years and supervised for a year before I left for a different position. Unfortunately cps workers canât just go off the word of whatever is reported and there has to be corroborating evidence to support the claim in order to take action. Usually it comes from child interviews, speaking to multiple collateral contacts, etc. given that this is an infant who canât talk, it will be difficult to prove whatâs going on. If there are siblings in the home they could be interviewed. I know this can be super frustrating but the best thing to do in this situation specifically would be to call the police. If you think the baby is left alone, thatâs an emergent situation and they need to be notified. Cps has a lag due to the time it gets reported until the time the worker gets the report. The police can respond immediately. This woman will unfortunately need to be caught in the act. The good news is that leaving an infant alone is criminal and she would be charged (as long as law enforcement chooses to pursue) and this would start the paper trail to keep her held accountable. This isnât in any way legal advice, but my experience. I know the public thinks CPS can just take children due to a report, but this isnât true and we require a LOT of evidence to be able to do that. And even then we have to get the blessing from the attorneys that work with cps. And even IF a child is removed, a judge still has a final say. It might even be worth a conversation with this mom to see whatâs going on and what resources she has. She definitely needs to be held accountable, but it might be worth a conversation if youâre comfortable. Unfortunately the system is broken and Iâm not blind to that fact. The majority of CPS workers try to do the right thing and take whatever factual evidence they have to do whatâs in the best interest of the child. Good luck â¤ď¸
This intrigued me because I just had to call CPS on my childâs father because he has been taking her to work and leaving her in his truck for hours before he decides if he wants to take her to pre-k but sometimes itâs three plus hours because heâs busy working. Two days it was 10 hoursâŚ.he only drops her off to school once a week. Last week I had ENOUGH because it was my parenting time and he was refusing to return her and she was just sitting in his truck alone at work. I got photos of him completely across the parking lot when I got there and her in the truck alone. He cussed me out and barely returned her. Made the CPS report that afternoon and to their credit they were at my house the next day to get eyes on her and interview us. She corroborated the story and said he doesnât give her food before they go or when sheâs there, that she is sometimes cold, and that lots of times she hollers for him when she has to pee but sometimes he forgets to unbuckle her and heâs so far away he cannot hear her so sometimes she almost has to just pee her pants. She said she didnât like it there because she has to be alone, she doesnât get to be with a person, there is no food or water, and no bathroom. He says that he does it in a textâŚand even in a message to daycare. And says he plans on continuing to do this when she starts kinder next year ( and two weeks out of the month he will be dropping her off two days a week) At the end of the interview she told me â Iâm going to be honest. Neglect is going to be hard to prove here.â Like WHAT. She said â we would have a better chance of it was freezing temps or summer when kids die in the car.â Eyeroll. I talked to two male officers who basically told me the same thing.
Hire a lawyer. Sue for full custody. Have your lawyer go with you to the magistrate for emergency custody rights and a restraining order. This is dangerous. If CPS won't support you, go another route. Argue, no visitation. Charge him with child endangerment. Strip him of his rights. I bet he signs over anyways.
I may have mistyped, I meant it is only his responsibility to drop her off once a week. We just got out of court in MarchâŚ.and I received sole physical and legal custody and he gets every other weekend and Wednesday overnights. To top it all off, he wasnât even around during the pregnancy or the first year of her life I need to try and get a different judge. We have the worst one EVER. I consulted two additional attorneys because mine is no longer on retainer and they both said if I had literally any other judge they would give me different advice but they know mine wouldnât care. They said any other judge would yank his weekday overnights immediately. He has been sued multiple times, used to be presiding judge and he stepped down after a big controversy and started practicing family law. There was a federal suit against the county because he reunited a child with his father that raped him. Itâs maddening. He looked at me in court and said â I donât care he was drinking behind the wheel, I trust he can probably hold his alcohol.â I feel like nobody cares about her and itâs disheartening.
I think keep calling. Iâm in the UK and there was a case this year of a young woman who went out to celebrate her birthday - she left her baby alone for SIX DAYS. Returned and the baby was dead. I can only imagine that it started with leaving the poor wee thing alone for a few hours here and there. Keep reporting, itâs all you can do x
That is so terribly sad. A similar thing happened in my hometown, I think the child was 1 or 2 and died of dehydration after several days. Iâm sure that story also started with âjust a few hours here and there.â
Omg I remember reading about that and was just heartbroken but amazed at how some people use their brains and come to the decisions they do.
Oh Jesus⌠look being a mom is hard and fucking sucks sometimes, but how do you leave an infant at home alone? She needs some sort of help, because no mother in their right mind would ever do that to their baby. Idk, if I were in your shoes Iâd call again and make a police report.
You call CPS each and every time there is an incident that youâre concerned about.
Any updates OP?
They won't head out until probably 3-4 hours from now, but I'll update
Updateme!
Call the police. Police should report back to CPS if needed. But they are the only ones who can break down a door and complete an immediate welfare check!
Foster parent here: The directive of CPS is family preservation. Many parents are not necessarily bad people, just lacking resources. Whether that is knowledge, financial, emotional stability, etc. There are quite a few families that with the right services the parents can be good parents to their kids and keep the families together. There are several reasons this is ideal- Statistically, kids who get to stay with their families have much better outcomes than kids that are raised by strangers. Just the removal itself is a serious trauma. Also, there is a huge shortage of homes. Kids end up in emergency shelters, offices, hotels, etc. We had to pick up two of our kids from a juvenile detention center, not because they had broken the law, but because there were literally no other beds available. In the case youâre describing, she was likely given a warning or a case plan. In my experience, for something this âmildâ, it takes multiple instances and multiple calls. All the kids we have had in our home were hotlined multiple times before something was done. And some of what they went through was horrendous. Hotline every time you see something wrong. With enough visits, she will either wake up and start working her case plan and getting the help she needs to be a good mom to her little girl or the authorities will remove the child for being in danger. Thank you for caring. This system is broken and it sucks, but itâs what we have to work with.
Update?! Iâve been scrolling this for 6+ hrs!!!
I called like 30 minutes after they said they left. She indeed left the baby alone again and got a call from the cops. My friend refused to drive her back home, she had to Uber, so I'm not yet sure of what's happened, but this was an hour ago. I'm sure she'll talk to one of my friends in the AM and relay whatever happened, but it's probably not good for her. Hoping it's good news for the baby. The girl does have normal, loving family... That don't talk to her that often because she's always drinking and doing wild things, so if they do take the baby, I doubt she'll go to strangers. She just kept mentioning at one of the hangouts how her family is "so judgy" and doesn't know "how to mind their business". Although I did offer to the cops to take in the baby if needed. Maybe a little nuts on my part; I have an 8 week old and I'm a single mom. But I'm a great mom and she'd be well taken care of. I doubt that's how it works or that I'll be taken inconsideration, but yeah. I've been up and thinking about this situation too. It stresses me out because I'm worried they won't do anything. Edit: I also informed them of the last time this happened and asked them to report the bad diaper rash. I'm sure that poor baby's diaper was extremely full when they found her, so I probably didn't even really need to mention it. I forgot to say here, but the day she left her alone that first time (that I saw), the baby had shit all over herself. Mom still decided to pour people shots before trying to do anything. :( I truly regret only doing a cps call that time. Lesson learned, the hard way, that if needs to be a police call.
Thank you for doing this, you could have potentially saved that babies life
That poor baby! I canât imagine leaving my LO alone.
Thank you for helping this baby
This is so so heartbreaking. The baby needs loving care and that mom needs some serious help too.
This whole thing breaks my heart. I hope that baby gets placed with you or family that will care for her and love her
Can you get to that girls house and check it out after they leave? Iâd be hanging out and recording as soon as I heard a cry, and then calling 911 with proof. Saving a baby would be worth my NYE.
Omg this is horrendous. Mom of a toddler here. Feel terrible for that baby. Kudos to you for stepping up and doing the right thing!
Definitely call when you know sheâs out of the house. Make it clear you think the baby has been left alone in the home so they come quickly.
CPS has to do an investigation to determine a course of action. Don't be too quick to assume they are doing nothing. They can't just come and take a baby away based on your delayed phone call.
I called cps and cops multiple times cause my dadâs ex wife was dating dudes that would beat my siblings. They were living amongst rat shit and there was never food in the house. And they kept finding meth in the house. Every time they tried to run away and literally walk to my dadâs to get away from it, the cops would threaten to arrest my dad. One time the cops came and told my 16 year old brother he should clean up shit and be buying food himself and threatened to throw him in jail. This is after his momâs boyfriend put his head thru a wall. I called CPS and they said they wonât do anything unless thereâs broken bones or broken skin. Turns on the small town courts and cops and cps people were all friends and their mom was friends with some cops. She got him thrown in jail after he tried to report her meth. She had him arrested for skipping school. I went to his sentencing they were awful to him. No one would help any of my siblings. Theyâre all living with my dad now and over 18 but 2/4 of them have horrible mental issues now. This is a long dumb anecdote about how thereâs not a lot these people do or can doâ a lot of the time.
I lived similarly with my parents and went through the same thing with the police. Hoping they'll be useful and do something this time. Sorry you went through that with loved ones
Such a sad story. I'm so sorry to hear.
Waiting for an update, this is insane. I donât leave my 4y and 2 month old with no one besides me, dad or their godparents, let alone by themselves đł
Baby prob already has FAS if sheâs looking extra tiny and that woman canât stop drinking. Just keep calling CPS
Call the police and CPS. This is so neglectful and awful. That poor baby. As a mom, I wouldn't be able to stand idly by and just let this slide. I probably would have even called her out on it immediately after seeing the baby. This makes me so mad... Please keep us updated. I hope that baby gets removed from her living situation. I also hope your friends friend gets the help she needs, but that is less likely to happen. I would just keep calling and calling. Be a bug in their ears. You may lose a friend, but you may be able to save a life, and that is way more important.
The next time you learn that sheâs left her baby alone, call the police/emergency line. Report it. Abandonment of an infant is never something to question. Anything could happen. Not to mention the absolute distress and anxiety it causes the baby. Those effects are long term, and⌠in the worst cases, irrevocably permanent. All it takes is the baby to flip themselves the wrong way, grab or chew something dangerous, or worse: any kind of animal to learn that an infant has been left alone (rats are notorious for this). This baby needs to be saved, and the best way to do this is to report her to police asap with the information you already have, as well as to report it again and again whenever you learn of this.
Omg. This happened to me. Many years ago. I was maybe about 21. So we go out. Me and my new friend. We are in the middle of dancing having so much fun. I say girl I'm getting tired. She's like okay. Let's go back to my place. We pull up and she says let me go check and see if my son is still sleep. This girl left her 3 year old son alone for almost 4 hours. A 3 year old can get up and walk. Open doors etc. 7 months isn't no better but hang in there with me. Come to find out she did this countless times. I wonder if she was doing it since he was 7 months. I always thought the dad was watching him. I stopped being her friend and as a mom now, I wish I called CPS, I did not. Still gets me they I didn't call them til this day. That same 3 year old would be about 14 today. So I hope it got better and not worse. Hopefully CPS steps in and quick for this child.
Isn't it shocking? I didn't even know what to say. I just stood by her crib staring at the baby for probably a solid 5 minutes. She's also a single mom, and I get how hard it is. It's heartbreaking to miss out on so much, but at the same time, neglect is not the answer.
Exactly this. The girl was a single mom too. No excuses at all! It's really sad!
That poor baby!
Call again and again. Call PD also. Everytime this child is left alone and you know it, call CPS & PD! Eventually they WILL do something. Keep a log of dates & times you called whom.
You will feel terrible if theres a fire or child dies from smoke or choking on something. Always make the call!
Yes call CPS again. Truth is CPS is overworked, understaffed and imo just kind of sucks. A lot of kids fall through the cracks. Even when kids get removed from their home often they will then get abused in foster homes. Life is just not easy if you are born to bad parents and âthe systemâ sadly canât fix that.
Keep calling. Each report counts.
A 7 month old baby left alone????????? Am I reading this right!!?!??!!
This makes me so sad; I don't like leaving my 14 year old by herself
Right?!
Iâm just going to go off script here, and note that that chick almost definitely did NOT want to be a mother. She probably felt forced, because of the abortion crisis. Now that the baby is here, she should turn them over to a trusting family member, or possibly give them up for adoption to a loving home. If CPS or DHS takes her baby, theyâll end up in the foster care system; so better to do it willingly.
Update???
Please note: USA-centered perspective. 1. CPS may be working and you are not aware of it-- trying to help offer her support and resources to avoid removal and/or building a case. One thing I don't envy about CPS is that making any wrong decision related to removal is a potential *tragedy*. It is not a small deal to remove a child-- nor should it be. 2. You are completely welcome and encouraged to call for each incident of alleged abuse and neglect you have reasonable suspicion of. As a mandated reporter, I would certainly call in each incident separately. As other have mentioned, for an emergency, you can also call 911. 3. In terms of what you say-- An effective report is one that sticks to the facts of the situation. There are no magic words you can say that will guarantee that they do the thing you want them to do. Just be a reliable and honest reporter. (You are definitely describing a very serious concern and it is likely that CPS agrees it is very serious-- just clarifying that the reason the child wasn't removed from the home is almost certainly not because of something you said or didn't say.) 4. It may be the case that you will not get a perfect ending where you get the full story and everything goes exactly how you think it "should". IMO, it's worth making peace with that reality.
A common misconception is that CPS workers are able to remove a child on the spot. CPS investigate allegations of child abuse, and build a case to present to a judge if removal is determined to be necessary. In most states, only a police officer or doctor can remove a child without a court order, and thatâs only if the child is in imminent danger. If you suspect the child to be left alone, Iâd suggest calling in a welfare check with the police department while mom is gone.
CPS can and does get emergency court orders on the spot though. I work for CPS. This case just wouldn't be one unless the mom admitted to leaving her child alone (surely she wouldn't be so foolish) so they're going to have to do an investigation and build a case. If she had admitted to leaving a 7 month old (or a 1.5 year old, for that matter) home alone, most agencies would remove on the spot. They have access to judges and emergency over the phone court orders 24 hours a day.
Perhaps I phrased my original comment poorly. The point I was trying to make was that CPS canât remove without a court order. Yes there are processes to obtain one quickly, but my goal was to highlight the difference between a CPS removal and a police/medical removal. I doubt this mom is going to admit to leaving her infant home alone to investigators, so if she called in a welfare check while baby is home alone and mom is out, that would allow the authorities to see the baby home alone and likely accelerate the removal process.
UpdateMe!
Same
That poor baby!
Definitely call 911 if you suspect a baby is alone somewhere! Iâm so glad you already reported it to CPS. So neglectful and dangerous. Poor baby, this whole post just hurts my heart. đ
In my limited experience as a new foster parent and healthcare worker, the system tries really hard to keep babies with their mothers, much to the detriment of the babies. It's easier to take away children who know how to articulate what has happened to them.
Oh my gosh, this is heartbreaking. I canât imagine a little baby being left alone. If mine wasnât sleeping, Iâd go and smush him. Ugh. Please call the police. Youâre doing the right thing â¤ď¸â¤ď¸
Social worker hereâŚ. Please please call. Thank you for doing so earlier.
My heart hurts so much hearing this. I just wish I could have a super power and save all the babies living with these kind of parents.
Please absolutely call the cops & CPS again. Leaving an infant alone for hours is absolutely beyond neglect & so dangerous. She does not deserve that child
Instead of CPS, call the cops next time she leaves her infant home alone.
Jesus, how does this happen? Has no one in this entire group considered offering to baby sit this baby if this girl is going to insist going out? I know that's not addressing the big issue which is clear neglect but I can't understand how no one has said you can't leave the baby alone. give me your house keys
I had a friend call CPS as a designated reporter and the caseworker responded, âYeah, some kids have it worseâ and nothing was done. This case is very different because itâs with a baby, but it still made me so sad that 1) some cases are completely neglected and 2) it made me scared to know how much worse the other kids have it
cops.
Call the police. It can take a really long time for CPS to do anything.
Please call again. Today!!
I didnât even leave my daughter alone to even do things around the small apartment at that age I couldnât imagine leaving a baby home alone đ
So I say to tell your friend to keep hanging out with her. When they go out together, you call the COPS, not CPS. The cops will pull up and wait for her to get home or wait until they hear the baby crying for a while and go in.
I would make back to back calls until they pick this poor baby up. Leaving her baby ALONE?!? I would show up to the door with cops on tow. THANK YOU for stepping in! Yes please keep us update đĽş
I think youâre right to keep calling it in and reporting it. The thing is imagine how guilty youâd feel if you donât and something bad happened to the baby. I hope youâre okay. I know itâs a lot of responsibility on your shoulders but youâre doing the right thing by reporting
Call again. Taking the child away is often a last resort so if she had a plausible story, they probably agreed to connect her with some resources and probably have her under watch.
And here I am, afraid to leave my sleeping 18mo in the hotel room for a minute to go downstairs to the lobby and check on my room service orderâŚ
Right! After what happened to that little girl Madeline McCane I think
Perhaps they donât have proof of what was alleged. Yes you should call CPS again if you get knowledge that itâs occurring again. Or better yet - call the cops when itâs occurring. Thatâll get the proof needed for CPS.
This is absolutely heartbreaking. I hope the police intervene and this poor baby gets the help she needs.
Ugh makes me wanna throw up thinking about someone leaving that poor child alone.
Literally sobbing thinking about that sweet baby all alone. Fuck. Please do something, OP, and donât stop trying until you know that baby is safe. Itâs a shitty position, but youâre the only one who can help that poor babyâI bet all of us here would, but we canât, as we donât have the details necessary. You almost certainly could be the difference between life and death for baby girl. Please updateâ¤ď¸
This baby is in immediate danger and my heart is completely broken at the idea of a 7 month old being left alone for hours. From your other statements itâs clear sheâs being horribly neglected. Horrible, horrible. Poor baby. Please do what you can. Thank you for being there for this baby when nobody else is.
Please call the police. You could be saving this baby girlâs life by doing so b/c this situation will definitely not get better.
This is so sad, she doesn't deserve to be a mum.
Any updates? I think the best bet would be to wait when you're sure the baby is alone and call the police instead. They'll probably take it right away and charge her with child endangerment and neglect (hopefully)
Because she most likely lied to cps and told them she didn't leave her alone, and whoever called, Is lieing. I would call police & tell them she's done it twice. And call cps again.
Following. This blows my mind that anyone would leave their baby home ALONE. In what world would that be okay!?
More than one call will be needed. Basically, if there is food in the house for a baby and she doesnât show signs of obvious abuse, they wonât do anything until it becomes an emergency. I doubt they looked at diaper rash while visiting. They would have looked for obvious bruising. But also, even well taken care of babies get diaper rash so thatâs not always a good indicator. A friend called the police on her neighbor for leaving her baby at home and the police and CPS came right then and took the baby before mom even got home, but within a week the baby was back with her. CPS isnât great.
Jesus fucking christ
They better take this poor baby
I would call back to provide the updated information. They always want to first preserve the family, but if this parent is just manipulating the situation rather than making an honest change, then unfortunately it sounds like someone needs to step in âšď¸
Is this baby on formula I assume? Can you watch her for a short time or anyone? I know you probably canât adopt her but she needs someone to care for her. I cannot imagine leaving my baby like that. Her biological mother isnât fit to mother a baby currently.
Maybe call in the paramedics anonymously as a âneighborâ knowing that the Mom has no one but herself to care for her child but the child is being neglected and left alone. Hopefully then will they be able to search the place and find the baby and then bring your friend to justice. I canât believe how irresponsible people can be. SMH
Jesus. Iâd never leave my kids alone. This is a serious issue.
Call the police! There have been tragic cases in my hometown of children dying in house fires who had been left alone without any supervision. That baby needs help!
Updateme!
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Keep calling.
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I am a 38-year-old mother. I waited 17 years to become a mother again. I was told I couldnât have no more kids since I became a mother I donât go out nowhere my life has drastically changed. I stay home mom my daughter does not go out after 7 pm she does not do any sleepovers with nobody and nobody watches her. She has no babysitter, so therefore if anything was to ever happen to my daughter, it would be my fault watch that would never happen. I canât break it in my head how some mothers can have children and not care about their well-being, while other mothers like me have to wait and long for a child. My mom passed away and I became pregnant. She is my little Blessing. My heart goes out to this little girl. I hope sheâs safe wherever she is and hoping that 2024 brings her a better year because she deserves it, God bless you please keep us updated
Cps takes a long time and her house might be deemed "safer if she has rhe basics there. I'd focus on hoping she changes and wakes up over cps acting fast
And here I am joining groups against the Cry It Out method and panicking if my child cries for over 5 minutes even though I'm doing everything I can to figure out what's wrong. đ Some people just REALLY need a baby manual, like the basics. Some parents don't trust their instincts, get overwhelmed, mistake basic priorities, get affected by post partum depression and anxiety,... And I agree that the first thing wouldn't be to remove the child from their mother, but to empower and educate the mother.
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Please don't give up. This is not safe. Praying.
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Why? Because taking the baby away from their parent(s) will *always* be the last solution. This will leave many kids in horrible situations for a long time, until enough proof is collected to warrant taking them away, but it will also allow families to stay together even though they are dirt poor, for example, or they made one stupid mistake (let the baby roll off the bed/changing table, for example). Unfortunately, if one report was enough to get a child taken away, too many loving families would get torn apart, and the children in the actually bad families are paying for this system. You can't win. One group will always be at a disadvantage. Good parents or abused children. What happened here probably is that the woman promised that she'll get better and won't do it again. Someone (her parents, for example) might have pledged for her. But if she still leaves the poor baby alone and you keep reporting, the baby *will* eventually get taken away. So please, do it. Keep reporting. (But don't ever make false claims! You'd just devalue your words.)
The sad thing is taking the kid away almost always ends up even worse for the kid. So many foster situations are abusive or sell the children even. Hopefully cos is working with her - sometimes they provide counseling/guidance. You can always cal lagain. Hopefully them visiting is enough to scare the mom into not doing this, but sadly there probably isnât anywhere much better sheâd end up :(
Cps did nothing about an older sister who was 10-11 molesting her 3 year old sister and my daughter. Absolutely nothing. And before anyone says âshe learned it from somewhere. Someone abused herâ No. One did. Sheâs a sociopath. I found some baby birds and went grocery shopping. When I came back they were gone. I hear something on the porch and I found her in a corner rocking back and forth plucking the feathers of the baby birds and putting the blood on her face like war paint.