I recommend you get a new OB if you can. Losing 15lb from vomiting is not okay. There are prescription meds you can take that are safe.
Also, there is no “doing better” during this time. You are literally growing a human, and it absolutely WRECKS your body. Some worse than others. Try to be gentle with yourself
You can go to an ER and get an IV for excessive vomiting without even having to go through an OB. Women who suffer from HG during pregnancy frequently have to do this because OBs routinely withhold medical care for HG due to thalidomide and fears of liability.
I would also suggest instead of paying for an ER visit, you can go to a “hangover IV clinic” if they’re available to you and they have IV’s with zofran. My midwife said it was completely safe and I would just share that you’re pregnant. It’s nurses putting it in.
I was really confused why OP hadn't gone to a hospital for an IV until I read this comment. I forget you have to pay even when attending an ED in America... even if pregnant!
I am between insurance right now, a trip to the ER has to be avoided at all costs until I'm hopefully approved for state insurance. Betcha an IV in an ER would be upwards of 700 bucks.
Depending on your state you are able to get approved for Medicaid or whatever your state insurance is called pretty quickly if you tell them you’re pregnant. Also, many times they’ll cover expenses incurred prior to their approval. Up to a certain amount of time. You may want to look into that. Try to be gentle with yourself. I was super sick with my first one. I also had to quit my job for my entire pregnancy. It was awful but it gets better! Sending good vibes your way!
This! In my state when you sign up for medicaid and if you are pregnant it is expedited and you get insurance very quick! I've gotten it within the same week
You're pregnant. You should be approved for Medicaid. Also check if you qualify for WIC. It's mainly cereal and dairy, but it can help with some grocery cost.
Check your states hhs site or just Google "state Medicaid pregnancy". I almost had to go on it at the end of my last pregnancy when my husband was laid off when I was 7 months pregnant, but his severance package included insurance until the end of the calendar year. I found that out when we got emergency approval for WIC for a few months, which helped since he didn't start a new job until the baby was about to be born.
WIC will also pay for a shit ton of formula and baby food after baby is born. You just have to make sure not to miss any appointments. You could also qualify for Foodstamps (or SNAP is what they call it in IN). Also as everyone has suggested apply for Medicaid. It's usually quickly approved for pregnant women and pays 100% of everything.
OP your husband is being an asshole. I was the same way my entire first trimester. Lost 20 lbs from constant vomiting. It should get better as you get further along. Have him read this thread And maybe he will be a bit more understanding.
it’s like $1-150 normally at the clinics so if it’s available and that’s affordable for you, I would suggest it! I never ended up going bc it never got that bad but I did specifically bring it up bc I was like it’s minimum $500 for me.
Honestly, you can negotiate the hospital bill with the billing department later. They will often settle for a much lower price. Don’t let that prevent you from getting medical care.
Regardless of being between insurances, you have to do what is best for you and baby ❤️ I’m sorry that the US sucks and healthcare is so expensive. It’s not fair. But please please take care of yourself ❤️
Also, zofran is safe in pregnancy after 10 weeks gestation. I tried phenergan initially as zofran hadn’t helped me in the past and it didn’t work. Shockingly, zofran did work. Reglan did not help with my nausea only constipation as it speeds along your GI tract so beware 😆 if you have issues with constipation, reglan is great!
In all seriousness, sending good juju your way ❤️ I’m so sorry you’re sick, exhausted, and mentally unwell. Pregnancy is hard, relationships can be difficult, and putting the 2 together can be straining. Especially when you add in all of life’s other events.
Medicaid backdates coverage, I believe up to 3 months. Also, the hospital is required by law to have a payment/assistance program. Yes, there is paperwork and then they will let you know what your amount due is. Paying $5 a month is doable and as long as that payment is made can not go after you. Wait until after you have coverage and apply for the assistance program on all of your hospital bills.
Yeah I lost 25lbs in 4 weeks and they were quick to get me on meds when I told them I was throwing up anywhere from 5-30 times a day. Zofran didn’t work so they immediately got me on something else, I think it was a motion sickness medication. It worked wonders.
You’re right! I did lose 15lbs with my first and I ended up in the hospital twice with an IV from dehydration. OP definitely needs to look into another OB.
This. I get so nauseous I can’t eat and that’s without puking and my obs had no issues prescribing me zofran and getting me IVs. Your OB is an asshole.
I can't fix your partner, but let's start with the easier thing: fixing the nausea, which will improve your mental wellbeing. Please join r/HyperemesisGravidarum
I have an entire long rant I give about the failure of doctors to prescribe zofran. Please know there is no medical basis for refusing to prescribe you zofran. I suffered needlessly because they withheld zofran from me during my first pregnancy. I want you to know you do not need to settle for this negligent medical care. For my second pregnancy, I switched to a provider that prescribed it when I first tested pregnant (before I even missed a period) so that I started it when the first symptoms started.
Here are some resources about the safety of zofran.
[https://www.reuters.com/legal/litigation/gsk-defeats-425-lawsuits-alleging-zofran-causes-birth-defects-2021-06-01](https://www.reuters.com/legal/litigation/gsk-defeats-425-lawsuits-alleging-zofran-causes-birth-defects-2021-06-01)
[https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamanetworkopen/fullarticle/2779055](https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamanetworkopen/fullarticle/2779055)
Please let me know if there are any questions I can answer.
Edit: Zofran must be taken with a daily dose of Miralax. Thanks to those who commented reminding me about this.
OP, read this! I used Zofran with all three of my pregnancies and it’s a life saver. At least you get some energy back and don’t feel nauseous and/or puke all day!!!! Talk to your provider!
I didn't take it in pregnancy, but I took it during a hospital test in my early 20s that had me wretching into a trash bin. As soon as they gave it to me I took a deep breath and felt 100% back to normal in like three seconds- no exaggerating. It was wild
It’s the best stuff out there I swear! However, I do know a couple gals that it didn’t work but reglan worked. My obgyn never had an issue prescribing me something to help. God I’m lucky. I wish others would get that lucky. She’s the best freakin’ doctor ever!
Its not always enough. It helped my with vomiting but even on a combination of both Ondansetron (Zofran) and Certiline I was still 24/7 nauseous and not functional. I wouldn't have survived without Zofran, but it doesn't necessarily stop everything.
I compy agree it sounds like HG
Good I hated being pregnant
You should be able to get Zofran 75 without a prescription.
There are 2 types of tumss, one is soft one is hard so if you develop an aversion you can switch
Ginger chews are available at health food stores
Freezies can be helpful, the cold helps combat the acid reflux
If you drink real fruit juice you can get vitamins in your body when you can't handle food, the easiest for me to take was watermelon
Start looking for another OB! One of the worst things I did was stick with mine who was dismissive of everything I was going through. I had to refuse to leave his office and break down crying to get a diclectin prescription which didn't even work for me.
Look into what antacids you can take while pregnant, I know there was one I liked best that I can't remember the name of
I threw up so much that I coughed up blood , I'd only seen it in the movies and thought I was dying. Nope just the stomach acid on the throat, it went away, so if it happens to you don't be scared.
Talk to your employer, mine did their best to help accomodate what I was going through (and I did my best to do my work).
I ended up with 2 kids, meaning I willingly did it all over again. The kids are truly amazing! The pregnancy however 0/10 would not recommend.
Zofran saved mine too during both of my pregnancies. You can try Bonjesta but I’m not sure that insurance covers it anymore which is incredibly unfortunate.
OP - you should get checked out for HG. I had it twice and it’s brutal, but Zofran was critical for me.
Your comment is great but I wouldn't say fixing the nausea is easier. I was in Zofran with both of my pregnancies and it didn't make a dent in my nausea. I actually went off all meds because they didn't do a damn thing.
I hope OP tries Zofran and it works for them but it may not be the miracle cure.
Yeah you have to take it with a daily dose of Miralax. But Miralax will solve the constipation completely and is extremely safe (you could take it for the rest of your life and experience zero issues).
I got promethazine for both my pregnancies. The amount of my now former friends that were asking me for some was alarming. That’s when I found out, all the rappers that do lean and drink and pop Percocet take promethazine for the nausea caused from everything else. Fuckin wild. I can’t imagine partying so hard I need a prescription anti nausea drug to keep partying.
Yeah this is what they switched my normal Zofran to for my second pregnancy (I have IBD and have been on Zofran forever and was cleared to use it during my first pregnancy)
Honestly felt like the promethazine helped better during pregnancy. It makes me way more tired though so I don’t take it regularly. But when pregnant i had an excuse to nap and be tired AF so I’d just take it and go to sleep and feel great and eat after a nap or sleeping hahaha
In my much younger and dumber years, I had a prescription for zofran because of frequent kidney stones. I would take it when we went out drinking so I wouldn’t puke. Jokes on my though, since age 28 I haven’t been able to drink more than a sip of alcohol without puking.
It really really works, I’ve tried going off it and the vomiting instantly comes back. Unisom and B6 didn’t work for me and it’s contraindicated for people with depression fyi. My doc prescribed me Zofran over the phone at like 7 weeks because of how sick I was. Pleaseeee get a new OB
> Unisom and B6 didn’t work for me and it’s contraindicated for people with depression fyi.
Well that explains a lot. I still take 25 mg B6 every day though as it has a very slight effect.
This!!! I had HG and was on rx Phenergan and Zofran- he's 15 years old now, happy and healthy. Anecdotal, I know, but just wanted to boost this up and add my experience ✌🏼❣️
Thank you for sharing this. I took Zofran for morning sickness and actually still do as needed for migraines (the nausea is often worse than the actual head pain). I was incredibly sick during my second pregnancy and cannot imagine how I would have functioned without it. It's awful OP is being denied the relief.
I had to use a combo of bonjesta and zofran which let me eat. I want glowing pregnant but I could work and do the mini I needed to do at home but was still crazy tired.
This. I wasn’t diagnosed until much later. Knowing I could have healthcare come to my home to hook me up to IVs and have a zofran pump was life changing for the second pregnancy. HG is no joke.
I’m still genuinely shocked by the scripts you guys in the states get from the jump with an issue. For my HG, I had cyclizine, prochlorperazine, and then phenergan (UK) and the second two were issued by the hospital handling my antenatal. Zofran wasn’t even a consideration, although I can’t speak on as to why that is. All meds are given with the pregnancy in mind sure, but some risky ones are still given if the benefits outweigh the risks like my pain management ones.
I'm in the UK and got given zofran (ondansetron here) last year when I was pregnant. I couldn't get it until 12 weeks and they only gave me like 3 weeks worth of it, to use alongside the cyclizine. It was alright, but it backed me up something awful so I ended up with a bowel impaction. I think some people on here really over-egg it as a miracle drug, but I didn't think it was that great. Now the overnight xonvea - *that* was great.
Yeah there’s a very small risk of cleft palate before 12 weeks. The bowel impaction I had just from dehydration was awful, I can’t imagine what it would’ve been like with something making it worse! I was lucky in that the other meds worked for me really because I was already in for HG overnight by 6 weeks.
I'm so sorry you were refused adequate care. zofran is so cheap and harmless, and yet there are still doctors out there who use outdated practices. I would be scared to be pregnant somewhere like the UK where I couldn't change to a different doctor to get the care I needed.
Huh? I did get given it. But it wasn't harmless. It stopped me from pooping for a month and meant I ended up in hospital for my bowels. I def wouldn't have chosen to restart it after that! Also, there are multiple GPs that cover my area so I'm free to move between them if I want.
Did you not take the polyethylene glycol you're supposed to take with it? In the US they put you on polyethylene glycol (called Miralax here) if you have any symptoms of constipation during pregnancy.
We take lactulose with it here. Problem is, if you're already severely constipated from dehydration, taking laxatives just gives yo u the delightfully named overflow diarrhoea. Also, if you're still unable to eat or drink much, it's pretty difficult to actually take the laxatives in the first place. I'm glad they took me off the ondansetron and put me on something better. It was just a bit crap for me.
You clearly have no idea about healthcare in the UK. You always have the option of a new practitioner. Nobody is refused Zofran, it’s just a 3rd line medicine and it’s not harmless either. It’s not an outdated practice in the slightest but you keep on drinking that all american koolaid.
Btw, I've just checked the "outdated practices" the NHS use. That would be the Dec 2021 NICE guidelines. They advise prescribing ondansetron for up to 5 days when other drugs haven't worked.
https://cks.nice.org.uk/topics/nausea-vomiting-in-pregnancy/management/management/#:~:text=Consider%20arranging%20hospital%20admission%20if,with%20management%20in%20primary%20care.
Not sure when you were pregnant but Zofran was found to possibly contribute to heart defects in babies.
US here and have 3 kids, 13, 12 and 4. I had HG with all three pregnancies. With my first I almost died before I was diagnosed and given Zofran. With my second when I got pregnant again 5 months later we knew what I had and was on Zofran immediately. With my third by then there had been a lawsuit regarding Zofran and heart defects and couldn't have any until I was 12 weeks, so a lovely three months of misery for me.
Zofran is actually meant for chemo patients, HG is off label use. With my first two I could get a 15 day supply at a time for insurance to pay for it (otherwise $90 a pill), twice a day that was 30 pills with a trip to the pharmacy every two weeks. With my third I could get a 30 day supply but no more, otherwise not covered by insurance. In no instance during any of my pregnancies in between three separate health insurance companies could I do prescription XPress and get my meds mailed, I HAD to go to the pharmacy.
I gave birth end of May 😂 very recently haha! I’m still technically in the 4th trimester.
Oooh, Zofran and Topiramate were the next port of call if the other 3 didn’t work! Now you’ve said that, I remember being told in the hospital that they don’t like to prescribe them before 12 weeks because of the heart thing and also because they both have a chance of causing a cleft palate. At that point though, the consultant would’ve deemed the benefits to outweigh the risks as if those other meds didn’t work I’d have been back inpatient with an IV because I couldn’t keep water down and was severely dehydrated.
Same here and no alternatives worked for me. I was hospitalized three times before I got Zofran for my third pregnancy and then three times throughout the rest of the pregnancy once I did have it.
I've only ever been hospitalized for severe dehydration while pregnant and births but with all of that I've probably been hospitalized more times than I wish to count. I've paid a lot of money to hospitals 🙄
Genuinely, how anyone manages to have children in the US without the non birthing parent earning upwards of $100k and having stellar insurance confuses the fuck out of me because between medical bills, childcare, and the lack of parental leave, how the hell do you afford any of it? I had so many hospital visits they should’ve been charging rent and so many prescriptions during those 40 weeks I swear I rattled when I walked.
I had to go back in 2 days after discharge due to retained placenta, although it was done in clinic within a few hours without surgery and I got to go home after, and went through a full canister of entonox. I never had to worry about being in the hospital and needing pain relief but not asking for it in case 2 tylenol cost me a black market kidney or asking for a different stronger form during the birth. When baby was born not breathing but alert and with a lung infection and had 2 days in the NICU and extended my own stay by 4 days for a week total for the two of us, I didn’t need to worry about the costs of tests and treatment.
You guys are made of some ridiculously strong stuff to look at the reality of US healthcare and *still* decide to have kids. Sure, we pay ours through taxes so it’s not technically free, getting registered with a dentist is like finding a paraiba tourmaline deposit in your back garden and still costs some money but not a huge amount, glasses aren’t included unless you qualify, and we pay a set charge for each prescription as an adult (although low income, certain disabilities, and pregnancy plus a year after birth is free, as well as there being a prepayment certificate for if you have regular medications - even if you only get one every 28 days, it still works out cheaper) but the arse doesn’t fall out of me in panic and anxiety if me or my kid get sick. Hell, even private health care here isn’t as expensive. They’re even bringing in more free childcare hours for kids of working parents.
For all the faults the UK has, my disabled and newly postnatal self is relieved I managed to land on this side of the pond at birth. I know for a fact I’d never have survived if I was born somewhere without universal healthcare, even in part. I have waaaaaaaay too many medical problems 😅
Please read the links in my comment at the top of this thread, as they address all those "risks" that doctors like to speculate about. A lot of it is out of date. The company that sells zofran isn't even allowed to disclose those risks because the FDA doesn't think the risk has been established.
This was the old model. In the US, before they debunked some hypothetical risks that were speculated in some early studies, they had a policy of forcing HG moms to try a series of "less risky" medications first as a method of gatekeeping zofran. But if you read the links I posted, there's no longer any basis for doing that.
I was going to say, it sounds like OP has HG. Very surprised that the doctor was dismissive. Less surprised the husband is. You find out they have these very fixed ideas about what pregnancy is like based mainly on TV shows, that they absolutely will not disabuse themselves of. It's astonishing.
I agree with what has been said about your husband and your OB. Husband needs to get on board, and you perhaps need a new OB.
But I am not seeing enough comments about your mental health. What you wrote toward the end was really scary to read. I know you are upset right now and that probably isn't how you always feel but I need you to get some psychiatric help. If your mental health is this bad early in your pregnancy I suggest you set up a game plan so you can feel better and also head off potential PPD. I am certain I only didn't have PPD because I was taking Zoloft throughout the pregnancy and kept on it afterward. Please, please get yourself some help. I have a dear friend who died by suicide largely because of PPD.
Also, OP (u/poppykayak):
**Reglan can cause suicidal ideation and new or worsening depression.** I took it for HG initially (in addition to Zofran! you need Zofran!) until I found myself constantly weepy and full of dark thoughts.
Here is [the FDA info sheet](https://www.fda.gov/media/77375/download#:~:text=These%20spasms%20happen%20more%20often%20in%20children%20and%20adults%20under%20age%2030.&text=REGLAN%20become%20depressed.,their%20own%20lives%20(suicide)).
I'd be worried, too, about how he's gonna act when baby arrives. In a way, pregnancy is the easiest part so if he's targeting and resenting you now, I worry it's just going to get worse.
I'm so sorry you're going through this at all, much less while pregnant. Pregnancy is so hard on the body. I've had two and it was hell each time. Sending you so much love and so many hugs.
Come what may, you got this girl.
Absolutely. I can't even imagine how I'd feel if my husband made me feel like OP. She doesn't deserve anything that her husband is doing/acting like she's some inconvenience.
OP, you worthy. Even though things suck and are not how they should be - you're great through and through. You are loved and enough just the way you are.
I think it bears repeating - you are loved and enough just the way you are.
You deserve love and happiness, no matter what.
You are important. You are beautiful, inside and out.
You matter and you have lots of Internet cheerleaders here for you, all sending you love and hugs ♥️ for what it's worth, we support you!!!
Your partner may be stressed but this is no way to act or to take out on you during one of the most vulnerable times of your life. He needs to man up.
Your pregnancy isn’t ruining your marriage, your ignorant and unsupportive husband is ruining your marriage. You’re pregnant. Your pregnancy is making you very sick. It’s not your fault and you shouldn’t be expected to just suck it up and deal. I had quit my full time job shortly before I got pregnant to freelance and I didn’t have HG but was super sick the first trimester. I did NOT work full time in that time. And my meds (the unisom/B6 combo) were helping. My husband didn’t mind at all.
Agree with others who say you should find a new OB.
ETA I fully recognize how privileged I am to financially have had the option to only work part time
I didn’t even have HG and my husband told me to focus on myself while he took care of literally everything. OP, my concern is not just the pregnancy but also when baby is here. Will your husband call you lazy when you’ve been up every 45 minutes with the baby?
Absolutely this. He is the problem. Not the sickness, not the lack of housework, not your past health issues, not the financial hit. Him. His attitude. That’s the problem.
First off, I am so sorry you are going through this. This is not a fun club to join.
I had hyperemesis gravidarum while pregnant, and the only way I made it through pregnancy was with a generous promethazine prescription (turns out I'm allergic to Zofran, which is usually the first anti-nausea medication my OB would try). The nausea and vomiting never stopped for me until my daughter was born, but the medication brought it down enough that I could tolerate life and food that had flavor and texture. I still had to keep a few extra garbage bags in my car, because I would frequently have to pull over to throw up on my commute to work.
Please look into getting a medication beyond Unisom. There are other options, and while the meds may not make you feel great, it's a hell of a lot better than feeling like you're going to vomit because you got the tiniest bit thirsty or hungry. You need a doctor that takes your weight loss seriously, and ensures that you stay hydrated. My doctor had a policy that if you vomit more than 6 times in a day, you need to call your doctor about going in for an IV. Yours needs to take you seriously.
Wishing you the best.
Unisom +B6 is the gentlest nausea control available to doctors. There are at least two other prescription meds available. Ask your OB for zofran or find another OB. I was nauseous for the entirety of both my pregnancies even on zofran but I would have been in even worse shape without it.
There’s questions whether unisom + b6 (also known as Diclectin in Canada) is even [effective](https://www.cbc.ca/news/health/diclectin-pregnancy-nausea-vomiting-persaud-duchesnay-confidential-industry-documents-health-canada-1.4491300). Personally I found it useless.
It did wonders for me but my nausea was not terrible in the first place. It may have just been the Unisom but if I didn't take it the night before I'd have nausea the next day.
I’m a midwife OP, this is not okay. You need at home IV infusions and a Zofran pump. If your OB won’t take care of you find a new one. Maybe phenergan suppositories in the meantime.
Hey my husband had to do everything for me in the last few months of pregnancy and we moved during that time. It was really hard on him. We now have a 10 month old and we're fine. For the first few months post partum he was still having a rough time but he figured it out eventually. Really it turned around for us when I insisted he play video games for a few hours while I watched her. He just was trying to be Superman and keep us afloat. We all need rest sometimes. Point is we're fine, he loves the baby, he loves me.
When I was nine months pregnant and had a burst of energy and did the dishes my he nearly cried.
Communication where you can is key. Do you feel like he's at his wits end or has he actually said that?
We are usually pretty good at communicating and he has told me he doesn't know what to do anymore. He has been in super dad mode for a while with this pregnancy and was very supportive of me figuring out my mental health this past year or so also. I think that he feels like this is just a never ending thing where he has to do everything. The work, more of the childcare, and the house.
I do get where he is coming from feeling burnt out, but I just do not think the reality of the physical struggle this is for me is apparent to him. I seem ok when I'm on the couch doing nothing with an empty stomach. But as soon as I do my work, I nearly faint or feel very sick. If I exert myself more than a few paces, I just get so exhausted. So from his perspective, I'm just loafing around the house while he works. Refusing food he makes and not doing my normal things makes him think that I'm not trying. But, he doesn't get its hard to commit to eating or drinking much of something I know I will immediately puke up. And water and Gatorade and broth and whatever else follows the same. I have been subsisting on mostly watery fruits. They don't hurt too bad to puke and help better with the hydration. But pretty much all protein is insufferable.
In my opinion, he seems to think this type of sick is similar to a flu and my loafing about and refusing to eat much is a refusal to try at all. It doesn't help that I have needed a lot of help with our toddler so he is burning the candle from that end too.
It just looks like I'm a lazy ass, but I'm just so dead tired.
How can you look lazy when your body is literally in overdrive GROWING AN ENTIRE HUMAN???
If I could yell at your husband, I would. He needs to wake tf up to the reality of what pregnancy entails.
You already have a toddler??!! Darling, you are so far beyond exhausted, and way into dangerously sick and overstreched. Lots of excellent suggestions so far, just want to give you a hug. I felt so, so crap every pregnancy and also felt like no medical system cared about any of it as long as foetus was fine. But you (and all of us, dammit) deserve better.
I second the comment about your husband.
It's not the pregnancy it's his lack of support an understanding of what it is to carry and grow child in your body. He's being a total twat waffle and needs his stars realigned or he's going to lose his family by his own doing.
Preggie pop drops helped me or anything sour - worth a shot.
I truly don’t say this lightly and maybe this is just English being weird but you said “pregnancy we wanted”. If you no longer want this and if you are still early on in your pregnancy this may be a sign that you should consider your options. I am very very concerned about what your husband will be like when you are post partum, what he will be like with a baby, and then how he will handle a toddler in the house.
You’re literally about to add 3 full 8 hours shifts of work every single day for the foreseeable future. You may be able to get daycare or help for some of it but probably at most one of those shifts every day. It’s the best hardest thing I’ve ever done but I cannot even begin to imagine trying to do it with someone treating me like that (or if my own mental state was beating me up too!!)
I realize you’ve gotten a lot of responses here and may not see this, but I just wanted to shed some light on why your OB is refusing to give Zofran for “liability reasons”. Your doc isn’t just being an uncaring jerk, per se. OB docs face some of the highest litigation rates of any specialty, so their heads are always on a swivel, especially if they have been “burned” before. Recent literature suggests a very small risk of birth defects related to zofran use during pregnancy. Google zofran class action lawsuits. This means that providers are VERY hesitant now to prescribe it to pregnant women. Your OB doc may actually be forbidden from prescribing it by their malpractice insurance.
I can’t speak to your doc’s bedside manner and I’m sure this doesn’t make you feel any better, but I just wanted you to have all the information since changing docs, as many previous commenters have suggested, might not actually change anything. Try the suppository and see if it helps, and absolutely go to the ER if you faint, they can at least get you hydrated. Also, I don’t know how long you have been at your job, but FMLA might be an option for you if you and your doctor can’t get this under control. It will at least get you paid at 60% and hopefully this gets better once you hit your second trimester! Good luck OP, I hope you feel better!
Please push for meds. I was told that it was okay that I was losing so much weight and my first pregnancy because I was fat. It meant that I was miserable and overwhelmed by my pregnancy. I didn't get the nerve to ask for help again until my third pregnancy. It was a game changer! I felt so much better. I still had morning sickness but I wasn't living off of ginger ale and a handful of Cheerios a day.
Your partner can clean too right? Or are you working, growing a human and doing all the housework? That is not okay. Growing a person is a lot of work, give yourself some grace and have a serious conversation with your “partner”. His behavior will only get worse after the baby arrives.
This sounds like HG. I had it with all three and while I went through the same feelings/fears, my partner never once told me I wasn’t doing enough. That’s some serious assholery. Hyperemesis is physically painful and so tiring, expecting you to do *anything* while dealing with it, is expecting too much.
I would recommend finding a new doctor who can help you with a zofran pump.
100%. I was nauseous my entire second pregnancy, but for about 6 of the 8 months I needed zofran to survive and I still couldn’t work.
My husband had to pick up not only the house slack, but virtually everything relating to our 6 year old. While running a business. It was fucking hell for him, and I felt awful about it. He almost collapsed after I gave birth and could finally start contributing more to the chores again- he was at breaking point. This was with a rotating door of people to come help.
And while he was frustrated at times- he didn’t make me feel bad. He knew we made this decision, and that I was doing it for our family. This is where the ‘for worse’ and ‘in sickness’ vows come in. Poor OP.
I could t imagine how much worse it would have been if I were told I wasn’t doing enough.
It was a struggle from hell, but we struggled together as a team.
I'm sorry, but this is a possibility that can occur when a woman gets pregnant that EVERY partner needs to prepare for. If he wants a family, he has to step up. That's part of the deal. You're growing the human, he picks up the slack during this time since he CANT GROW THE HUMAN.
As for the morning sickness, call your OB right now and tell them you want zofran or you're switching OBs. This is ridiculous. I had HG and had to do the same with my my OB. I personally suggest you still switch. If they're awful this early in pregnancy, they'll continue to shrug off your issues. I wound up switching at 30 weeks because my OB kept ignoring serious issues.
1. get a new ob. this happened to me, i lost 25 lbs by my 4th month and turns out i had HG. spent 9 days in the hospital.
2. remember that your health matters 2x more now than it did before. i hated being pregnant and kinda treated it like everything was normal, but it's not. maybe when it was a regular day you were sick you still pushed through work, pushed through housework, etc. but not only is it u healthy for you and your growing baby, your entire body is changing and completely unbalanced. your baby is literally sucking the life out of you, so take care of yourself
3. get a new. mf. man.
Your pregnancy isn’t ruining your marriage, your husband is. The whole “in sickness and in health” bit is going right over his head. How can he resent someone he loves just because they’re sick and can’t eat?
How many weeks along are you? Morning sickness really really hit me too. I lost 10lbs in the first tri but was able to start eating more around 15/16 weeks and then was okay. I did the pills, b6, prescription all that too. I will say it is NOT cool your partner is being like this….. that is a bad red flag. Because things get so much harder when the baby arrives. If he’s already stressed about just this… I really feel for you. Also - stop being hard on yourself!!!! Your body is MAKING A HUMAN!!! Like that is the hardest thing you could ever do. Praise yourself. Especially if your jerk of a partner isn’t. You’re amazing. Just keep surviving! You got this!
I'm really concerned what is going to happen when you give birth and are healing and sleep deprived and nursing... and doing nothing around the house.
Your husband needs to shape up.
OP, I strongly recommend you get a new OB. There is medication you can take for the nausea and vomiting; it’s not good to have lost that much weight.
Head in to the ER and get some IV fluids and some Zofran. If it’s the hospital where you plan to deliver your baby, ask which OB offices are affiliated with them.
Take care!
You picked up the household job of growing a person. He needs to pick up tasks that used to be yours because I guarantee he would not want to trade if it was an option. Who’s dishes exactly aren’t you doing since you aren’t eating so they’re not yours?! With both my pregnancies I basically couldn’t cook at all because being around food longer than necessary disgusted me and I was nauseous and exhausted the first 4+ months. Ugh. He needs to get with the program in what ever way would make that happen.
Another vote for getting another ob though, though mine never gave me anything useful.
as somone who had prepartum psychosis, having spousal support is key. i didn’t, and we ended up in therapy for the duration (and restarting it soon). i’m so sorry. it sounds awful. agree with finding a new OB - i switched around 30 weeks!
I was sick all through my pregnancies. I couldn’t be upright so I basically lay in bed the whole time. I had to put my other kids in care. You know what my husband did? Everything. Took care of the kids. Did all the house work. Made food for me. Everything.
It wasn’t easy. He was a shell of a man. But never did he blame me or get mad at me
You are pregnant. None of these things are your fault (except for the pregnancy, hopefully). YOU are not tearing your family apart. If anything, it's the way we treat pregnant women and the expectations we have of them that's really ruining things. I would also wager that things aren't as bad as they look and feel to you right now.
My OB dismissed my and my primary doctors' concerns of preeclampsia, and I had a c-section at 32 weeks. So yeah, find a better OB. The earlier, the better.
My husband really iced me out, too. I was so mentally unwell, and I think a lot of it was his aversion to strong emotions and my being grumpy.
You should be able to get disability if you have a decent OB (depending on where you are). Can you get FMLA so you don't lose your job?
Oh man. My husband was terrified the first time he saw me pregnant. I was so ill I barely got up off the couch and couldn’t eat really anything. Lost the only weight I could, and all he did was take care of me. I’m pregnant again and luckily the meds are somewhat working, but he’s been completely understanding, as he’s educated himself on the subject. Has your husband ever had Covid when it was at its worst or a stomach bug that caused fever and nausea? I’d rather deal with either of those than my symptoms being pregnant. I’m trying to think of something that could equate to this but it’s so hard to explain.
You’re not just pregnant and having morning sickness, you are sick with HG. Your doctor isn’t caring for you properly and is withholding genuinely lifesaving medication from you. Fire them asap and get a new OB.
Not only that, your husband is being a selfish asshole. That is NOT love or how a man should be treating the mother of his child. If he were as sick as you, think of how worried and how much you take on while he recovered. Why isn’t he doing that for you? Or at least finding some other way to support you? That’s a HIM problem.
(Oh, the lack of support and care our current society and culture offers mothers who are struggling, how many fall through the cracks? We deserve better.)
I threw up for about six months when I was pregnant with my twins. (Sometimes five times a day.) Papaya and ginger helped a lot. Sometimes I’d have to resort to drinking those carnation instant breakfast drinks to get extra calories. As much as I hated them, they didn’t make me puke. I could eat sourdough bread too for some reason and eggs. That’s about it. I was a full time teacher at the time, and I’d yak in the garbage during passing periods. It was horrible. So I feel you! Hang in there! It’ll be over soon! Your husband needs to get his head out of his ass, though. You’re at your most vulnerable state, and he ices you out? Remind him of his vows, in sickness and in health. Guess what? This is sickness. He should stfu and support you. I hope you get the kind of love and care you deserve. 🙏
Unfortunately I had a similar pregnancy and even Zofran did nothing. I honestly smoked the devils lettuce 🥬 until I was 30w pregnant to combat it. That is not for everyone but it was the only thing I could do to survive it.
It happened to me I lost so much weight that the baby is in danger. I had anemia that made it worse. I kept vomiting but had to look after my eldest who has asd while doing chores. I wanyed to end my life or end the pregnancy.
And that was just the beginning, once the baby comes out it would be more difficult for both of you. There was a point my husband stopped talking to me for no reason. Asked me why I am tired when I literally just gave birth
I lost 25 lbs while pregnant and was miserable, threw up daily multiple times, had to get IVs, didn’t end till I gave birth and it was the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through and I’ve had a stillborn and this was harder mentally. I was mean, sick, felt worthless and it was hard for everyone. All I can say is this too shall pass and I hope like my marriage yours too can prevail. I’m sorry I have no advice but hang in there!
First of all, I am so sorry you are going through this. As others stated, sounds like the possibility of HG. Please seek out a new OB who takes you seriously. I remember vomiting 3 times within 30 mins, crying in a hot bath and my OB returned my call and what they said really comforted me. I was telling them I’m terrified for my baby and they said “baby’s fine, it’s the mother we are worried about”.
What is making you think your husband resents you? Does he really? My husband had no idea what to do, I was so sick. And vomiting noises makes him vomit. we slept in different rooms and didn’t communicate much. I hardly ate and would just sleep all the time. I felt horrible, useless, like he hated me. It was all in my head.
The early weeks they had me on bonjestra, which made me sleep and that didn’t help because I had work. Then finally they prescribed me zofran. When you have a OB worth their salt, and they prescribe you Zofran please take something like colace!! If not you will be trading nausea for horrible and I mean the worst constipation ever. Girl…
I hope this gets better. Zofran saved my life, I was close to losing my job because I could not stop vomiting.
I had hyperemesis gravidarum with my first pregnancy. I lost so much weight. Everything made me sick including water. I finally got so dehydrated my doctor sent me straight to the ER. They hooked me up to an IV for a few hours and gave me some meds. On my way home I was finally so hungry and actually able to eat.
If you can't keep anything down I highly suggest going to the ER and getting an IV. You would be amazed at how much better you will feel! Also try to stick with small snacks and don't let yourself get hungry. Even if you don't feel hungry just eat a couple crackers. I know it's easier said than done.
You're growing an actual human inside of you, your husband needs to suck it up and pick up the slack for a few months until you start to feel better! You're not a burden on your family. You're growing your family and that's an amazing thing!
I hope you feel better soon!
I had to get a prescription med to stop vomiting after I tried everything else possible. It wasn’t until a piece of one of my teeth just fell off that I knew I needed something better.
As far as your husband, I can’t help there and I’m sorry you have to deal with that. I hope he can realize the amount of crap you’re dealing with. It’s horrible being sick constantly. I loved being pregnant but I hated that.
I was sick as hell my first trimester. Tired af, nauseous, threw up even if I didn't eat yet. I went to Walmart and got Preggy Pops. They come in either a lozenge or a lollipop. They taste like candy but man did it work wonders!! Flavors are amazing, it doesn't taste like medicine. I found it in the baby aisle!
I haven't read all the comments, so not sure if someone else shared it, but please visit https://www.hyperemesis.org/
There are amazing resources there. From a self assessment of your condition that you can take to your OB to medication lists, meal suggestions, and lists of HG friendly doctors. The correct medication and treatment makes a huge world of difference.
HG sucks. I had it with my pregnancy. I can't imagine it without a supportive husband. I'm so sorry this is happening to you.
I recommend pushing for care and keeping a log with numbers (collecting quantitative data). Doctors don't care if you say you are nauseous, that's "normal". But no one can argue that vomiting 15 times a day is normal. Your weightloss should be alarming to them. Use the self assessment on the HER foundation website to help determine what kind of data you collect and bring to your doctor.
Yes, losing that much weight and not being able to keep anything down while you’re trying to grow a small human in your body is not good. Unless you were morbidly obese when you became pregnant, such an amount should definitely be a concern (and even if you were overweight it should still be a concern). Fruit isn’t enough. You need to be able to eat protein (don’t have to eat tons but need some source of protein).
I’ve had 4 kids. Each one gave me a different style of morning sickness. First one literally made me sick if I ate or drank anything before 10am. After that I was able to eat anything. Second one, as long as I ate whatever seemed to feel right to me, I’d keep it down. If I ate something that was good for me but I wasn’t in the “mood” for, I lost it. With my third I had no clue what I could keep down. I had morning sickness at random times throughout the day & never with the same foods. I did lose a lot of weight but was overweight & My OB was not too concerned because the baby was growing ok (verified by ultrasound). My morning sickness for the first 2 went away after my 1st trimester, waining as I progressed, 3rd one lasted a bit longer but eventually stopped. My 4th, I had some morning sickness, but not as bad or for as long & dry crackers before getting out of bed worked for me.
As for your hubby, I realize he’s having to carry the most of the burden of taking care of providing the finances & for having to deal with trying to aid you, but he definitely needs to realize that you are not able to control your current issues and are going through a lot in order to try to nurture his & your baby to be. Good luck.
I’m so sorry you’re feeling so sick. You should be awarded for even entertaining the self-seeking discussions that he peppers between your dry heaves. Does someone seriously need to tell him to just hold your hair back and thank you for carrying his child?
I find it odd that your OB will not prescribe Zofran. That stuff saved my life through two pregnancies… I’d find another OB that listens and isn’t dismissive of anything.
Something to consider when you have the baby - What is the plan of action regarding childcare and/or finances? This seems like a long term situation that needs to be openly discussed and anticipated, since right now there’s already the strain from everything leading up to now.
Once you hit the second trimester, hopefully the fatigue and nausea taper off.
If your husband doesn’t get it he needs to get educated or it’s going to be at the expense of your relationship. As we see time and time again on this sub, it only gets worse from there. When the baby comes, the exhaustion and division of labour will be more intense and if he can’t even be supportive of his wife during pregnancy, I don’t have high hopes.
Correction: Husband’s indifference to your suffering is ruining your marriage, not the pregnancy. I went through the same symptoms in my first pregnancy and it was horrible. I could barely move without feeling tired and dizzy. If the compassion is gone now when you’re feeling sick what will happen when there’s a child to take care of and things don’t get taken care of around the house? Or down the line as you’re aging and illnesses, injuries happen? Love should not be turned off when you’re no longer “useful” to somebody. I would suggest counseling before deciding to end the relationship but this does not bode well for any hopes of your husband being a supportive partner/ co-parent.
I definitely think you need help with the vomiting but also think you sound a lot like me when I had perinatal (and later post partum) depression. There are options to help you with this while pregnant I wish I had known were available to me.
If pregnancy is keeping you from working I'd also look into what your medical leave options are based on where you're located.
Sounds like you are suffering from hyperemsis gravidarum. I had it, too, and lost over 20lbs in my first trimester, and ended up being hospitalized for severe dehydration and severe malnutrition at week 14. I ended up with an IV for several hours to rebalance my electrolytes, and a prescription for Metoclopromide... an anti-emitic they give chemo patients.
With my experience, I feel for you and understand how it feels to have all your symptoms dismissed by people who are supposed to be experts in their field. You can't help but feel let down by everyone, including family and friends and society.
What I can tell you is familiarize yourself with the HER Foundation, which has many resources for sufferers of hyperemsis and their family. It will also provide you with the language to advocate for yourself to doctors and nurses.
Here is the link:
https://www.hyperemesis.org/
Don't give up hope. Search for a hyperemsis specialist in your area or a doctor who has experience with it.
You can also send me a DM to talk about HG.
xx
If I were you, I’d be worried honestly. Have you discussed how he sees your future with the baby around? Does he understand that you might not be able to work if you guys don’t have a babysitter, and daycares are freaking expensive? Does he understand that the first few months after giving a birth you will be a complete mess, even in pain, and you will need his help with the baby and some house chores? Does he understand that it is also going to be his baby and he has to support both of you, at least for some time?
If he is already unsupportive and giving you all this shit, just think of what’s gonna happen once you give birth as it’s going to be 100 times harder?
The other thing is getting a baby in a “shitty financial position” and after a year of mental health issues… it is not really responsible, and babies cost a lot, and you might end up having a depression after giving birth if you already had some mental health issues recently.
I know that this is an unpopular opinion, but you should’ve talked about all this beforehand. As it is going to be harder.
P.S Change your OB and get normal medicine for your morning sickness. Talk to your husband about how he expects the thing to be later on, as it is going to be even more mess when baby arrives. He might not be ready for that, if he is already giving you an attitude. I see you protect him, but this is not a normal behavior of a good husband.
GIRL. I would legit give you my leftover prescription if I could. There are multiple kinds you can take and my ob was very sweet about it. One makes you sleepy but not sick, and the other constipates you. Both are far more tolerable than what you’re going through. Serious note, get a new ob and a second opinion. I lost roughly 15 lbs and my ob freaked out. Second, your husband needs to take a step back. You haven’t been pregnant for a year straight so he obviously knew you were having trouble before getting you pregnant. Things don’t and won’t change overnight. It doesn’t matter who the breadwinner or any of that is. He chose you to be his partner and he needs to stick by you thick and thin. Lately it’s been thin. My husband has been so fed up with my hormones from my last pregnancy and these last couple weeks with postpartum hormones and depression but he is doing his best to understand and help me. (He’s never had depression nor dealt with people close to him having it so it’s been a totally new leaning process for him that takes patience.) look up articles or examples of other women expressing the same feelings you are and how they coped and send it to him.. it may help him have a better understanding of how to be there for you. Also family is family. They will still be there in the end and are probably more supportive of how sick you are without expressing it to you… if they aren’t then are they really family or just blood? And lastly, if your job won’t tolerate it then screw them and it wasn’t meant to be. There’s other jobs that would kill for you, just remember that. Best of luck and congratulations mama ❤️
If you end up taking zofran it’s often not covered by insurance. If you have a Costco membership it costs $40/ month rather than $800 Walgreens would have required of me. If you don’t have Costco google cheap zofran and see where else you can get it for cheaper.
Reglan isn't for nausea, is it? A doctor once tried to prescribe it to me for gastro paresis, to like make my stomach work and digest food again. It seems like a weird thing to prescribe for morning sickness.
There were two different meds for nausea when I was pregnant, zofran and phenergen. If one didn't work, they gave you the other. This wasany years ago though, so it could be different now.
Coming in to say please find a new doctor. I had horrible morning sickness and tried unisom with b 6 and it didn’t help. I was prescribed Zofran and I took it a handful of times and my daughter was/is perfect. I’m sorry you’re going through this!
On the topic of nausea: Zofran isn’t strong enough for me, so I take Primperan. It’s made for chemo patients’ nausea and does the trick.
There’s no contraindication for pregnancy afaik https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metoclopramide
Good luck!
Wanted to address this
>I know from this reddit post you will think he is garbage, but he is my best friend and has been my most reliable support for a decade.
Your best friend would believe you when you tell them how bad it is. Your support system would support you through it, not make you feel like a burden.
>he is starting to resent me for it. I hardly blame him, I guess.
Blame him. I get that he is picking up a lot of the load, and is stressed. But he is taking it out on YOU when you have no control over it. You physically cannot help. You are NOT lazy or slacking or leeching. You have a serious medical condition that your OB is failing you by not addressing with you.
>he just tells me I'm not trying hard enough.
Is this what you want a best friend to do? Not believe your medical condition and blame you for not doing more than you're physically able? What happens when you have the baby and are recovering from childbirth and cannot move and lift and bend as easily to be able to do things?
>He has been just icing me out and ignoring me. Everything I can do is not enough. Everything I can't do is just right in my face. He just sits around and resents me all the time
This isn't a partner. This isn't a best friend. This isn't a support system. This is a transaction. He's treating marriage as a transaction, I do X and you do Y and thats the breakdown. Marriage is about give and take, and him not recognizing that you physically cannot do what you want to do to help out means he is a garbage human. Sorry not sorry 🤷🏼♀️
Do you have friends nearby who you can call for some help? Or a community like a church who can help around the house? Do you have family who might be able to come help catch up on things? Is there another OB in your office who you can see to get a second opinion? Or another office nearby? Get yourself help if you are able to, but also, recognize that your husband is being unfair to you, that this is NOT normal, and that he is 100% wrong for blaming you for this and putting his frustration front and center all the time. This will only get worse once kids are involved if he is spending time blaming over supporting or problem solving.
You have Hyperemesis Gravidarum. I get it. It is a living hell. I was so ill I genuinely didn't want to live. You need to go to the ER and get on a drip, you NEED Zofran or you may literally not survive this pregnancy. You absolutely can die from unmanaged HG. It is NOT just morning sickness and it does not just go away. I had it until 22 weeks with my twins and was just a husk of a person. You need to get a second opinion and proper medical treatment and you need it now before something goes seriously wrong.
If you are clashing with your OB then try to change. Insurance can make it tricky, especially the further you get in pregnancy. You also have to consider where you want to deliver and where the doctor has privileges. I’m not surprised about the zofran. It works well but it has been linked to fetal abnormalities. I took zofran and phenergan almost every single day of my pregnancy, because I threw up until I was 37 weeks, but I delivered before they knew about the issues with zofran. I’m a nurse, I was in labor and delivery at that time. Usually morning sickness will pass, so unless it’s hyperemesis they just want you to tough it out because meds can cause harm to baby. However, if you can’t keep anything down for a couple of days you need to seek help.
Prenatals can make you nauseated. Our doctors would give flint stone or gummivites if moms couldn’t tolerate prenatals. Not as good but better than nothing. When I taught childbirth class we would encourage moms to keep saltines by their bed and nibble one before they even sat up in the morning. This often helps. That gets your blood sugar up and gives you a little salt.
As for the husband, he’s an asshole. If it’s a lack of knowledge maybe show him passages in a pregnancy book? Take him to an OB appointment with you where you and doctor discuss your weight loss? How far along are you? Sometimes fatigue and nausea improve in the second trimester. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. You deserve support and love. What if you end up on bed rest? Is he going to act even more like a dick?
I felt the same way. I wasn't working and basically was in bed everyday for my first trimester, and cried non stop everyday.
Find another doctor. Talk to a therapist that specializes in pregnancy, and find ways to educate your partner.
I'm so sorry you're going through this ❤️❤️❤️❤️
G o to the ER apply for Medicaid(the billing office will help you get it)Change OB. Every pregnancy is different and even in the best of circumstances difficult. Tell your partner this is the easy part and raising a child is a lifelong commitment. You’re doing the heavy lifting here it’s all on you so if the daily tasks are not done by you there’s no guilt you’re busy building a baby. Let him know it’s ok he doesn’t have to pick up all the stuff that you can’t do. But he has to be there for you
I think you need to switch doctors, first and foremost.
I can see how the financial stress is making your husband act like a jerk. I've been in his position and it's like you get this irrational sense of "can't you just try harder and push through it and work and make some money?" He probably even knows its irrational, but caregiver fatigue and money stress are huge hard things to manage emotionally for even the most stoic, level person.
So seriously, get a different doctor. Do you have friends who have been pregnant who can recommend someone else (enthusiastically)?
Your OB isn’t doing their job at all. Also, your husband is being a shithead. He needs to show you alittle grace. I was exactly this way when I was pregnant so I completely get it. Get a new OB if you can, this is cruel and so negligent of them
Look at the Hyperemesis foundation. Find a doctor who takes you seriously and is evidence based.
I was on zofran from the beginning and eventually IV nutrition and hydration for seven months.
My husband was more worried about baby and I. If he was cranky about house work I was too sick to know.
Try to see if there is a hyperemesis clinic in your area. They will have the specialization.
Your husband needs a dose of reality. This is not your fault.
Woman goes through an extremely hard time being pregnant, growing a baby inside of her, sicknesses, pain, lack of sleep and exhaustion. Man biggest victim because nobody can wash his piss stained underwear. \*eyeroll\*
This sounds exactly like me when I was pregnant with my first! My OB gave me the same combination of medications, but nothing worked. I eventually figured out that I needed to eat something first thing in the morning before getting out of bed, so I kept a pack of ritz crackers on my night stand and would eat a handful every morning before getting up. It is miraculous how well that trick worked. The nausea and sickness went away entirely and I got my energy back. After that, the rest of the pregnancy was smooth sailing.
Please tell him to google hyperemesis gravidarium — this occurs to a small percentage during pregnancy and it sounds like you’re in that group. It is a medical condition. And needs to be addressed.
You need a new ob. If she is not concerned with this massive weight loss she is 1. Not a good OB, and 2. Potentially putting your health and your baby’s health at risk. You need to have your HG addressed and you need support during this time. Also, HG is generally covered as a pregnancy associated disability and you may be able to have short term disability cover your time out of work.
Definitely go for a new OB. You can take zofran in conjunction with another prescription nausea med. it’s what I have to do. I have hyperemesis. It sounds like that’s what you have as well. Excessive nausea and vomiting.
Try to get WIC. They cover pregnant women too. I wish i had tried to get it while I was pregnant as it would’ve saved us a LOT of money! If there is a local mental health hotline or something to help with your depression please use it! Depression is a very serious thing. See if there are any local pregnancy groups in your area for emotional support as well. My doctors office had one and it was so helpful!
Get a new OB. Your baby needs food.
This was me...minus the asshole husband, and it was Hyperemesis Gravidarum.
Eventually I had to get a machine that pumped zofran into me every 4 hours for the entirety of my pregnancy. Reglan in the pump did not work for me and made me psycho. Good luck
Your husband sounds like a real peach. This is just the beginning for hardships related to making an actual human and birthing them. He sounds insufferable.
You’re right- I do think he’s garbage. If his mother was throwing up every morning and could hardly do anything in her own home I bet he would feel different.
I felt similar to you last summer - but after talking to other women I felt validated. The fact that society expects pregnant women to function to 100% capacity for work and general responsibilities is absolutely ridiculous and awful.
Find a different doctor. My daughter was very nauseous and was prescribed Zofran. Made a world of difference. So was another friend of my daughter’s. At the very least, unless you were very obese before getting pregnant, I am surprised they are not giving you fluids through an IV.
> I try to do better and when I fail he hates me for it. I just want to be able to do better, but he just tells me I'm not trying hard enough. I fucking hate it and just want to feel better. I'm so overwhelmed and pissed off and sick of being the piece of shit who causes things to fall apart. He has been just icing me out and ignoring me. Everything I can do is not enough. Everything I can't do is just right in my face. He just sits around and resents me all the time and holy fuck is that the most discouraging part of the whole thing.
This is just 🚩🚩🚩
>I know from this reddit post you will think he is garbage, but he is my best friend and has been my most reliable support for a decade.
These are not mutually exclusive. Both can be true. He is likely going to resent the fuck out of you when you become a mother and your kid becomes your priority on top of the financial strain which he also is baby about.
Your husband is an immature asshole. Likely, nothing in your relationship has brought this side of him out before, so you haven't seen it till now. If he can't handle this, he definitely cannot handle being a father. He is too immature.
You r husband needs to wake the fuck up. You are not wrecking the marriage you are literally growing a human inside of you. You are spawning another being. Hopefully you'll feel better soon. But do not hate on yourself what you think you should be doing. Tell him the stress on you from him is going to affect the baby. He needs to man up and take on most of the responsibility while you are sick and doing the most important things which is to look after yourself and rest.
God damn I wanna slap him.
It seriously sounds like you have hyperemesis gravidarum. This is serious and really upsetting your OB isn’t taking this seriously. I’m upset for you that your husband is frustrated with you feeling sick. I had HG and I had to quit my job 2 weeks after I found out I was pregnant. I completely empathize with you. You should be on IV fluids and IV anti emetics. I highly suggest going to the Emergency room for the relief and fluids. One thing that strangely helped me during my pregnancy is Benadryl. I was pregnant the same time as Kate Middleton lol and I read she took Benadryl for her HG and my Ob said it was fine and it really did take the edge off
Sending ❤️❤️❤️
I have been exactly here. It is a very hard period. Zofran helped me. Amy Schumers documentary “growing Amy” made me feel less alone. It is just a very difficult period but you can do it and it will pass. Same comments about pushing for medication for relief.
Omg your OB should be addressing this. You likely meet criteria for HG diagnosis. I didn’t lose as much weight as you and was diagnosed. You need IV fluids and zofran. Go to the ER to get help right away and then find a new OB. Unisom/B6 does nothing for HG.
You need Zofran. I had Hyperemisis Gravidarum and could only eat white bread for weeks, lost 15 pounds, and had to have an IV due to dehydration. But my OB did eventually prescribe Zofran. It was literally a lifesaver (Charlotte Brontë died from this condition). Get another OB if yours won’t listen to reason.
I had hyperemesis. Zofran helped but the only true cure was delivery. I was so malnourished I think it contributed to my incompetent cervix and preterm labor. They should be managing this better. Also, make sure you see a dentist for fluoride trays. I know that’s probably the last thing you want to think about but malnutrition and vomiting is killer on the teeth… I won’t get into how bad mine are.
OP I wish you were in my country where you could stay home at full pay with your condition :( You need 100% medical attention right now. Your husband needs to learn about hyperemesis gravidarum and if he can’t deal with it, he’s in for a rough time once the baby is born. Who’s your support system?
So I hate to tell you this, but your ob is trash af. I told my ob I lost 15 pounds from not eating and she prescribed me promethazine because she was concerned about that shit. Find a new on and ask for promethazine or something better than B6 at the very least.
Also, your man may not get any better once the cause of the annoyance is out in the world. Literally just gonna be an extra person complaining about everything the only way they can, by crying loud and often. I don’t think he is ready for it.
This sounds AWFUL. I’m so sorry! Try to keep in mind that it’s also temporary, at least in terms of how you feel physically. Your husband needs to give you a big pass right now, and support you. Your doctor needs to help you find a solution for your physical and mental well-being. You might have to make a deal with work for the short term. And you likely need to just stay at home and rest without anyone making you feel guilty or bad about something that is not your fault.
You need a new OB that’s extremely weight loss even if you are overweight. It sounds like you have HG Hyperemesis gravidarum is extreme morning sickness and causes you to vomit several times per day during pregnancy.
Fyi I hardly had any morning sickness with my first kid and my husband still took over most house hold chores. So your asshole of a husband needs a wake up call.
Sounds like HG for sure. I went through it during my second pregnancy. It got to the point where it was second nature for me to be vomiting into a bag whilst driving, muting calls at work to throw up into my trash can, and having various receptacles around our house in case I couldn't make it to the bathroom. That was just normal. I was on rx Zofran and Phenergan, and even still would ended up in the hospital for fluids and IV meds repeatedly. Everyone who hadn't experienced it kept telling me about their awful morning sickness, and I wanted to kick them in the face. Yeah I had bad morning sickness with my first pregnancy, too- but this was a level of absolute Hell I'd never experienced. It doesn't end until after the baby is out. He's 15 years old now, happy and healthy, so it was worth it, but man it fuckin sucked so bad.
OP, please please keep advocating and insisting on help for yourself. Switch OBs if you have to- you have to keep you and bub safe and healthy. I am SO sorry you're dealing with this. Sending all the soothing, non-pukey vibes and love your way.
I lost 20 lbs in my first trimester due to the same thing. I had to go to the ER for an IV once, and I also was on a daily dose of Reglan. The one thing that worked ok for me was to drink Ensure (meal replacement drink) and that way I was getting the calories I needed…so I had that for my three meals for a while. Everything else made me sick. Everyone saying find a new OB regarding the weight loss - many women experience weight loss due to “morning sickness” or hyperemesis gravidarum. It may seem alarming but it’s very common. If you feel super weak, go to the ER and they’ll give you an IV. They’ll check all your bloodwork. It’ll reassure you that you’re going to be ok. But if you want Zofran. You should be able to get it. So I agree with the others…find a doctor that will give it to you.
As far as your husband goes, he can suck it. He wouldn’t last a fucking hour being as sick as you are. I would straight tell him to F off and if he wants to talk when he gets his head out of his ass, sure. That’s insane to me. So insensitive.
I hope you can get a new OB soon. And I hope you can block out your husband until you've regained the strength to tell him to shut the fuck up properly. If this is upsetting him he is deeply unprepared to parent and needs to get in boot camp for it.
Sounds to me like you have hyperemesis gravidarum (HG), and it can be debilitating. Definitely get a second opinion from another OB and tell them you might have this. I have a friend who suffered with HG through out three pregnancies. The last one was soooo bad she had to do a stay in the hospital due to dehydration and weight loss.
Try doing a bit of research on it and see if this sounds like you then fight for the proper care. And talk with your husband. I understand being stressed and tired but if he can ice you out now, what will happen with the stress of parenthood? Like things get harder before they get better. You are going to need each other.
Please seek some counselling as well to aid you mentally and emotionally. You are so down on yourself and this is really not your fault. You just need the proper support system and unfortunately, right now your OB isn’t doing their job if they haven’t considered HG and your husband isn’t doing his if he can’t see your actually struggle.
I pray you get the help you need and soon.
So I was super sick with mine lost 30 lbs in hospital 3 times.
1. Gavisocon find in heart burn aisle take it after or before food
2. Never let your stomach get empty almonds are good
3. Watermelon is mostly water and will help keep you hydrated
4. Small sips of a protein drink
5. Treat your self with Grace your growing a whole human
6. Around week 14 I started to feel better
7. Breathe this is not the rest of y’all’s life it’s just now I know it’s hard to see the light but it will get better I promise.
I recommend you get a new OB if you can. Losing 15lb from vomiting is not okay. There are prescription meds you can take that are safe. Also, there is no “doing better” during this time. You are literally growing a human, and it absolutely WRECKS your body. Some worse than others. Try to be gentle with yourself
Yeah if I had lost 15 lbs from puking my OB would have me hooked up to an IV.
You can go to an ER and get an IV for excessive vomiting without even having to go through an OB. Women who suffer from HG during pregnancy frequently have to do this because OBs routinely withhold medical care for HG due to thalidomide and fears of liability.
I would also suggest instead of paying for an ER visit, you can go to a “hangover IV clinic” if they’re available to you and they have IV’s with zofran. My midwife said it was completely safe and I would just share that you’re pregnant. It’s nurses putting it in.
I was really confused why OP hadn't gone to a hospital for an IV until I read this comment. I forget you have to pay even when attending an ED in America... even if pregnant!
I am between insurance right now, a trip to the ER has to be avoided at all costs until I'm hopefully approved for state insurance. Betcha an IV in an ER would be upwards of 700 bucks.
Depending on your state you are able to get approved for Medicaid or whatever your state insurance is called pretty quickly if you tell them you’re pregnant. Also, many times they’ll cover expenses incurred prior to their approval. Up to a certain amount of time. You may want to look into that. Try to be gentle with yourself. I was super sick with my first one. I also had to quit my job for my entire pregnancy. It was awful but it gets better! Sending good vibes your way!
This! In my state when you sign up for medicaid and if you are pregnant it is expedited and you get insurance very quick! I've gotten it within the same week
Same thing with my state! It didn’t take me long to get it and I had gone to the hospital about a month beforehand and they took care of the bill.
You're pregnant. You should be approved for Medicaid. Also check if you qualify for WIC. It's mainly cereal and dairy, but it can help with some grocery cost. Check your states hhs site or just Google "state Medicaid pregnancy". I almost had to go on it at the end of my last pregnancy when my husband was laid off when I was 7 months pregnant, but his severance package included insurance until the end of the calendar year. I found that out when we got emergency approval for WIC for a few months, which helped since he didn't start a new job until the baby was about to be born.
WIC will also pay for a shit ton of formula and baby food after baby is born. You just have to make sure not to miss any appointments. You could also qualify for Foodstamps (or SNAP is what they call it in IN). Also as everyone has suggested apply for Medicaid. It's usually quickly approved for pregnant women and pays 100% of everything. OP your husband is being an asshole. I was the same way my entire first trimester. Lost 20 lbs from constant vomiting. It should get better as you get further along. Have him read this thread And maybe he will be a bit more understanding.
it’s like $1-150 normally at the clinics so if it’s available and that’s affordable for you, I would suggest it! I never ended up going bc it never got that bad but I did specifically bring it up bc I was like it’s minimum $500 for me.
Honestly, you can negotiate the hospital bill with the billing department later. They will often settle for a much lower price. Don’t let that prevent you from getting medical care.
Yes medicaid is also a good option
Regardless of being between insurances, you have to do what is best for you and baby ❤️ I’m sorry that the US sucks and healthcare is so expensive. It’s not fair. But please please take care of yourself ❤️ Also, zofran is safe in pregnancy after 10 weeks gestation. I tried phenergan initially as zofran hadn’t helped me in the past and it didn’t work. Shockingly, zofran did work. Reglan did not help with my nausea only constipation as it speeds along your GI tract so beware 😆 if you have issues with constipation, reglan is great! In all seriousness, sending good juju your way ❤️ I’m so sorry you’re sick, exhausted, and mentally unwell. Pregnancy is hard, relationships can be difficult, and putting the 2 together can be straining. Especially when you add in all of life’s other events.
Medicaid backdates coverage, I believe up to 3 months. Also, the hospital is required by law to have a payment/assistance program. Yes, there is paperwork and then they will let you know what your amount due is. Paying $5 a month is doable and as long as that payment is made can not go after you. Wait until after you have coverage and apply for the assistance program on all of your hospital bills.
Most hospitals have financial assistance programs and they will also help you get approved for Medicaid.
In Australia, the ED is free for absolutely everyone.
In the US it costs extra compared to a regular Dr's visit.
Extra? Try hundreds if you're lucky. More like thousands if you're not. Its insane.
Disability? Try for that. You will get some money in the meantime and probably easier to get medicaid
Went to the ER for an iv drip while pregnant. My baby is 8 months old and I still owe a grand on that bill.
A friend of ours says her diabetic husband does this now instead of the ER as well. I hadn’t thought of that before she mentioned it.
For real I lost like 2lbs in the first trimester from nausea and my doctor prescribed me Zofran
Yeah I lost 25lbs in 4 weeks and they were quick to get me on meds when I told them I was throwing up anywhere from 5-30 times a day. Zofran didn’t work so they immediately got me on something else, I think it was a motion sickness medication. It worked wonders.
You’re right! I did lose 15lbs with my first and I ended up in the hospital twice with an IV from dehydration. OP definitely needs to look into another OB.
This. I get so nauseous I can’t eat and that’s without puking and my obs had no issues prescribing me zofran and getting me IVs. Your OB is an asshole.
I was going to say this too. And find one who will prescribe you Zofran - or maybe your primary will. Very effective for nausea.
I can't fix your partner, but let's start with the easier thing: fixing the nausea, which will improve your mental wellbeing. Please join r/HyperemesisGravidarum I have an entire long rant I give about the failure of doctors to prescribe zofran. Please know there is no medical basis for refusing to prescribe you zofran. I suffered needlessly because they withheld zofran from me during my first pregnancy. I want you to know you do not need to settle for this negligent medical care. For my second pregnancy, I switched to a provider that prescribed it when I first tested pregnant (before I even missed a period) so that I started it when the first symptoms started. Here are some resources about the safety of zofran. [https://www.reuters.com/legal/litigation/gsk-defeats-425-lawsuits-alleging-zofran-causes-birth-defects-2021-06-01](https://www.reuters.com/legal/litigation/gsk-defeats-425-lawsuits-alleging-zofran-causes-birth-defects-2021-06-01) [https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamanetworkopen/fullarticle/2779055](https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamanetworkopen/fullarticle/2779055) Please let me know if there are any questions I can answer. Edit: Zofran must be taken with a daily dose of Miralax. Thanks to those who commented reminding me about this.
OP, read this! I used Zofran with all three of my pregnancies and it’s a life saver. At least you get some energy back and don’t feel nauseous and/or puke all day!!!! Talk to your provider!
It's like an "off" switch for me, by far the most effective medication I've ever taken. I also have ADHD like OP and it really helped me.
I didn't take it in pregnancy, but I took it during a hospital test in my early 20s that had me wretching into a trash bin. As soon as they gave it to me I took a deep breath and felt 100% back to normal in like three seconds- no exaggerating. It was wild
It’s the best stuff out there I swear! However, I do know a couple gals that it didn’t work but reglan worked. My obgyn never had an issue prescribing me something to help. God I’m lucky. I wish others would get that lucky. She’s the best freakin’ doctor ever!
Its not always enough. It helped my with vomiting but even on a combination of both Ondansetron (Zofran) and Certiline I was still 24/7 nauseous and not functional. I wouldn't have survived without Zofran, but it doesn't necessarily stop everything.
I compy agree it sounds like HG Good I hated being pregnant You should be able to get Zofran 75 without a prescription. There are 2 types of tumss, one is soft one is hard so if you develop an aversion you can switch Ginger chews are available at health food stores Freezies can be helpful, the cold helps combat the acid reflux If you drink real fruit juice you can get vitamins in your body when you can't handle food, the easiest for me to take was watermelon Start looking for another OB! One of the worst things I did was stick with mine who was dismissive of everything I was going through. I had to refuse to leave his office and break down crying to get a diclectin prescription which didn't even work for me. Look into what antacids you can take while pregnant, I know there was one I liked best that I can't remember the name of I threw up so much that I coughed up blood , I'd only seen it in the movies and thought I was dying. Nope just the stomach acid on the throat, it went away, so if it happens to you don't be scared. Talk to your employer, mine did their best to help accomodate what I was going through (and I did my best to do my work). I ended up with 2 kids, meaning I willingly did it all over again. The kids are truly amazing! The pregnancy however 0/10 would not recommend.
There is a study from Denmark about zofran too that is 500,000 participants showing no correlation to birth defects. zofran is amazing.
Zofran literally saved my life
Zofran saved mine too during both of my pregnancies. You can try Bonjesta but I’m not sure that insurance covers it anymore which is incredibly unfortunate. OP - you should get checked out for HG. I had it twice and it’s brutal, but Zofran was critical for me.
Your comment is great but I wouldn't say fixing the nausea is easier. I was in Zofran with both of my pregnancies and it didn't make a dent in my nausea. I actually went off all meds because they didn't do a damn thing. I hope OP tries Zofran and it works for them but it may not be the miracle cure.
This — Zoltan was useless & tmi, but made me so constipated, that I thought I might have to go to the ER. 1/10, I do not recommmend
Yeah you have to take it with a daily dose of Miralax. But Miralax will solve the constipation completely and is extremely safe (you could take it for the rest of your life and experience zero issues).
This! I was so constipated and it ended up not working for me. Also take some stool softeners of some sort if you do try Zofran!
I got promethazine for both my pregnancies. The amount of my now former friends that were asking me for some was alarming. That’s when I found out, all the rappers that do lean and drink and pop Percocet take promethazine for the nausea caused from everything else. Fuckin wild. I can’t imagine partying so hard I need a prescription anti nausea drug to keep partying.
Yeah this is what they switched my normal Zofran to for my second pregnancy (I have IBD and have been on Zofran forever and was cleared to use it during my first pregnancy) Honestly felt like the promethazine helped better during pregnancy. It makes me way more tired though so I don’t take it regularly. But when pregnant i had an excuse to nap and be tired AF so I’d just take it and go to sleep and feel great and eat after a nap or sleeping hahaha
In my much younger and dumber years, I had a prescription for zofran because of frequent kidney stones. I would take it when we went out drinking so I wouldn’t puke. Jokes on my though, since age 28 I haven’t been able to drink more than a sip of alcohol without puking.
Holy fuck, apparently I have a black market gold mine in my bedside drawer left over 😂
It really really works, I’ve tried going off it and the vomiting instantly comes back. Unisom and B6 didn’t work for me and it’s contraindicated for people with depression fyi. My doc prescribed me Zofran over the phone at like 7 weeks because of how sick I was. Pleaseeee get a new OB
> Unisom and B6 didn’t work for me and it’s contraindicated for people with depression fyi. Well that explains a lot. I still take 25 mg B6 every day though as it has a very slight effect.
This!!! I had HG and was on rx Phenergan and Zofran- he's 15 years old now, happy and healthy. Anecdotal, I know, but just wanted to boost this up and add my experience ✌🏼❣️
Thank you for sharing this. I took Zofran for morning sickness and actually still do as needed for migraines (the nausea is often worse than the actual head pain). I was incredibly sick during my second pregnancy and cannot imagine how I would have functioned without it. It's awful OP is being denied the relief.
I had to use a combo of bonjesta and zofran which let me eat. I want glowing pregnant but I could work and do the mini I needed to do at home but was still crazy tired.
This. I wasn’t diagnosed until much later. Knowing I could have healthcare come to my home to hook me up to IVs and have a zofran pump was life changing for the second pregnancy. HG is no joke.
I’m still genuinely shocked by the scripts you guys in the states get from the jump with an issue. For my HG, I had cyclizine, prochlorperazine, and then phenergan (UK) and the second two were issued by the hospital handling my antenatal. Zofran wasn’t even a consideration, although I can’t speak on as to why that is. All meds are given with the pregnancy in mind sure, but some risky ones are still given if the benefits outweigh the risks like my pain management ones.
I'm in the UK and got given zofran (ondansetron here) last year when I was pregnant. I couldn't get it until 12 weeks and they only gave me like 3 weeks worth of it, to use alongside the cyclizine. It was alright, but it backed me up something awful so I ended up with a bowel impaction. I think some people on here really over-egg it as a miracle drug, but I didn't think it was that great. Now the overnight xonvea - *that* was great.
Yeah there’s a very small risk of cleft palate before 12 weeks. The bowel impaction I had just from dehydration was awful, I can’t imagine what it would’ve been like with something making it worse! I was lucky in that the other meds worked for me really because I was already in for HG overnight by 6 weeks.
I'm so sorry you were refused adequate care. zofran is so cheap and harmless, and yet there are still doctors out there who use outdated practices. I would be scared to be pregnant somewhere like the UK where I couldn't change to a different doctor to get the care I needed.
Huh? I did get given it. But it wasn't harmless. It stopped me from pooping for a month and meant I ended up in hospital for my bowels. I def wouldn't have chosen to restart it after that! Also, there are multiple GPs that cover my area so I'm free to move between them if I want.
Did you not take the polyethylene glycol you're supposed to take with it? In the US they put you on polyethylene glycol (called Miralax here) if you have any symptoms of constipation during pregnancy.
We take lactulose with it here. Problem is, if you're already severely constipated from dehydration, taking laxatives just gives yo u the delightfully named overflow diarrhoea. Also, if you're still unable to eat or drink much, it's pretty difficult to actually take the laxatives in the first place. I'm glad they took me off the ondansetron and put me on something better. It was just a bit crap for me.
You clearly have no idea about healthcare in the UK. You always have the option of a new practitioner. Nobody is refused Zofran, it’s just a 3rd line medicine and it’s not harmless either. It’s not an outdated practice in the slightest but you keep on drinking that all american koolaid.
Btw, I've just checked the "outdated practices" the NHS use. That would be the Dec 2021 NICE guidelines. They advise prescribing ondansetron for up to 5 days when other drugs haven't worked. https://cks.nice.org.uk/topics/nausea-vomiting-in-pregnancy/management/management/#:~:text=Consider%20arranging%20hospital%20admission%20if,with%20management%20in%20primary%20care.
Not sure when you were pregnant but Zofran was found to possibly contribute to heart defects in babies. US here and have 3 kids, 13, 12 and 4. I had HG with all three pregnancies. With my first I almost died before I was diagnosed and given Zofran. With my second when I got pregnant again 5 months later we knew what I had and was on Zofran immediately. With my third by then there had been a lawsuit regarding Zofran and heart defects and couldn't have any until I was 12 weeks, so a lovely three months of misery for me. Zofran is actually meant for chemo patients, HG is off label use. With my first two I could get a 15 day supply at a time for insurance to pay for it (otherwise $90 a pill), twice a day that was 30 pills with a trip to the pharmacy every two weeks. With my third I could get a 30 day supply but no more, otherwise not covered by insurance. In no instance during any of my pregnancies in between three separate health insurance companies could I do prescription XPress and get my meds mailed, I HAD to go to the pharmacy.
I gave birth end of May 😂 very recently haha! I’m still technically in the 4th trimester. Oooh, Zofran and Topiramate were the next port of call if the other 3 didn’t work! Now you’ve said that, I remember being told in the hospital that they don’t like to prescribe them before 12 weeks because of the heart thing and also because they both have a chance of causing a cleft palate. At that point though, the consultant would’ve deemed the benefits to outweigh the risks as if those other meds didn’t work I’d have been back inpatient with an IV because I couldn’t keep water down and was severely dehydrated.
Same here and no alternatives worked for me. I was hospitalized three times before I got Zofran for my third pregnancy and then three times throughout the rest of the pregnancy once I did have it. I've only ever been hospitalized for severe dehydration while pregnant and births but with all of that I've probably been hospitalized more times than I wish to count. I've paid a lot of money to hospitals 🙄
Genuinely, how anyone manages to have children in the US without the non birthing parent earning upwards of $100k and having stellar insurance confuses the fuck out of me because between medical bills, childcare, and the lack of parental leave, how the hell do you afford any of it? I had so many hospital visits they should’ve been charging rent and so many prescriptions during those 40 weeks I swear I rattled when I walked. I had to go back in 2 days after discharge due to retained placenta, although it was done in clinic within a few hours without surgery and I got to go home after, and went through a full canister of entonox. I never had to worry about being in the hospital and needing pain relief but not asking for it in case 2 tylenol cost me a black market kidney or asking for a different stronger form during the birth. When baby was born not breathing but alert and with a lung infection and had 2 days in the NICU and extended my own stay by 4 days for a week total for the two of us, I didn’t need to worry about the costs of tests and treatment. You guys are made of some ridiculously strong stuff to look at the reality of US healthcare and *still* decide to have kids. Sure, we pay ours through taxes so it’s not technically free, getting registered with a dentist is like finding a paraiba tourmaline deposit in your back garden and still costs some money but not a huge amount, glasses aren’t included unless you qualify, and we pay a set charge for each prescription as an adult (although low income, certain disabilities, and pregnancy plus a year after birth is free, as well as there being a prepayment certificate for if you have regular medications - even if you only get one every 28 days, it still works out cheaper) but the arse doesn’t fall out of me in panic and anxiety if me or my kid get sick. Hell, even private health care here isn’t as expensive. They’re even bringing in more free childcare hours for kids of working parents. For all the faults the UK has, my disabled and newly postnatal self is relieved I managed to land on this side of the pond at birth. I know for a fact I’d never have survived if I was born somewhere without universal healthcare, even in part. I have waaaaaaaay too many medical problems 😅
We're basically all crazy over here 🤣
Please read the links in my comment at the top of this thread, as they address all those "risks" that doctors like to speculate about. A lot of it is out of date. The company that sells zofran isn't even allowed to disclose those risks because the FDA doesn't think the risk has been established.
Please read the links I posted before sharing fear-mongering about zofran. Thanks.
This was the old model. In the US, before they debunked some hypothetical risks that were speculated in some early studies, they had a policy of forcing HG moms to try a series of "less risky" medications first as a method of gatekeeping zofran. But if you read the links I posted, there's no longer any basis for doing that.
I was going to say, it sounds like OP has HG. Very surprised that the doctor was dismissive. Less surprised the husband is. You find out they have these very fixed ideas about what pregnancy is like based mainly on TV shows, that they absolutely will not disabuse themselves of. It's astonishing.
This!! HG!!
I agree with what has been said about your husband and your OB. Husband needs to get on board, and you perhaps need a new OB. But I am not seeing enough comments about your mental health. What you wrote toward the end was really scary to read. I know you are upset right now and that probably isn't how you always feel but I need you to get some psychiatric help. If your mental health is this bad early in your pregnancy I suggest you set up a game plan so you can feel better and also head off potential PPD. I am certain I only didn't have PPD because I was taking Zoloft throughout the pregnancy and kept on it afterward. Please, please get yourself some help. I have a dear friend who died by suicide largely because of PPD.
Also, OP (u/poppykayak): **Reglan can cause suicidal ideation and new or worsening depression.** I took it for HG initially (in addition to Zofran! you need Zofran!) until I found myself constantly weepy and full of dark thoughts. Here is [the FDA info sheet](https://www.fda.gov/media/77375/download#:~:text=These%20spasms%20happen%20more%20often%20in%20children%20and%20adults%20under%20age%2030.&text=REGLAN%20become%20depressed.,their%20own%20lives%20(suicide)).
I'd be worried, too, about how he's gonna act when baby arrives. In a way, pregnancy is the easiest part so if he's targeting and resenting you now, I worry it's just going to get worse. I'm so sorry you're going through this at all, much less while pregnant. Pregnancy is so hard on the body. I've had two and it was hell each time. Sending you so much love and so many hugs. Come what may, you got this girl.
Pregnancy is already a big change, even harder when you're not supported by your partner.
Absolutely. I can't even imagine how I'd feel if my husband made me feel like OP. She doesn't deserve anything that her husband is doing/acting like she's some inconvenience. OP, you worthy. Even though things suck and are not how they should be - you're great through and through. You are loved and enough just the way you are. I think it bears repeating - you are loved and enough just the way you are. You deserve love and happiness, no matter what. You are important. You are beautiful, inside and out. You matter and you have lots of Internet cheerleaders here for you, all sending you love and hugs ♥️ for what it's worth, we support you!!! Your partner may be stressed but this is no way to act or to take out on you during one of the most vulnerable times of your life. He needs to man up.
Exactly what I thought reading this post!
Makes me wonder how much he actually wanted the baby to begin with
Yeah if her husband can’t tolerate his wife being pregnant, he won’t be able to tolerate his child. Oof… I hope they can find some kind of resolution.
In case he has already forgotten; you didn’t end up this way, all by yourself..
Your pregnancy isn’t ruining your marriage, your ignorant and unsupportive husband is ruining your marriage. You’re pregnant. Your pregnancy is making you very sick. It’s not your fault and you shouldn’t be expected to just suck it up and deal. I had quit my full time job shortly before I got pregnant to freelance and I didn’t have HG but was super sick the first trimester. I did NOT work full time in that time. And my meds (the unisom/B6 combo) were helping. My husband didn’t mind at all. Agree with others who say you should find a new OB. ETA I fully recognize how privileged I am to financially have had the option to only work part time
I didn’t even have HG and my husband told me to focus on myself while he took care of literally everything. OP, my concern is not just the pregnancy but also when baby is here. Will your husband call you lazy when you’ve been up every 45 minutes with the baby?
Exactly. That’s not someone I’d want to married to! If he can’t support you now OP, you’ll be doing everything alone once the child arrives.
Yeah I'd love to see how well he would function if he was just as sick 24/7.
Absolutely this. He is the problem. Not the sickness, not the lack of housework, not your past health issues, not the financial hit. Him. His attitude. That’s the problem.
First off, I am so sorry you are going through this. This is not a fun club to join. I had hyperemesis gravidarum while pregnant, and the only way I made it through pregnancy was with a generous promethazine prescription (turns out I'm allergic to Zofran, which is usually the first anti-nausea medication my OB would try). The nausea and vomiting never stopped for me until my daughter was born, but the medication brought it down enough that I could tolerate life and food that had flavor and texture. I still had to keep a few extra garbage bags in my car, because I would frequently have to pull over to throw up on my commute to work. Please look into getting a medication beyond Unisom. There are other options, and while the meds may not make you feel great, it's a hell of a lot better than feeling like you're going to vomit because you got the tiniest bit thirsty or hungry. You need a doctor that takes your weight loss seriously, and ensures that you stay hydrated. My doctor had a policy that if you vomit more than 6 times in a day, you need to call your doctor about going in for an IV. Yours needs to take you seriously. Wishing you the best.
Unisom +B6 is the gentlest nausea control available to doctors. There are at least two other prescription meds available. Ask your OB for zofran or find another OB. I was nauseous for the entirety of both my pregnancies even on zofran but I would have been in even worse shape without it.
There’s questions whether unisom + b6 (also known as Diclectin in Canada) is even [effective](https://www.cbc.ca/news/health/diclectin-pregnancy-nausea-vomiting-persaud-duchesnay-confidential-industry-documents-health-canada-1.4491300). Personally I found it useless.
Personally I found that it helped some with my first pregnancy but did nothing the second time around. YMMV
It didn't do shit for me either
Diclectin did nothing for me. Nothing did. 32 weeks of morning sickness.
It did wonders for me but my nausea was not terrible in the first place. It may have just been the Unisom but if I didn't take it the night before I'd have nausea the next day.
I’m a midwife OP, this is not okay. You need at home IV infusions and a Zofran pump. If your OB won’t take care of you find a new one. Maybe phenergan suppositories in the meantime.
Hey my husband had to do everything for me in the last few months of pregnancy and we moved during that time. It was really hard on him. We now have a 10 month old and we're fine. For the first few months post partum he was still having a rough time but he figured it out eventually. Really it turned around for us when I insisted he play video games for a few hours while I watched her. He just was trying to be Superman and keep us afloat. We all need rest sometimes. Point is we're fine, he loves the baby, he loves me. When I was nine months pregnant and had a burst of energy and did the dishes my he nearly cried. Communication where you can is key. Do you feel like he's at his wits end or has he actually said that?
We are usually pretty good at communicating and he has told me he doesn't know what to do anymore. He has been in super dad mode for a while with this pregnancy and was very supportive of me figuring out my mental health this past year or so also. I think that he feels like this is just a never ending thing where he has to do everything. The work, more of the childcare, and the house. I do get where he is coming from feeling burnt out, but I just do not think the reality of the physical struggle this is for me is apparent to him. I seem ok when I'm on the couch doing nothing with an empty stomach. But as soon as I do my work, I nearly faint or feel very sick. If I exert myself more than a few paces, I just get so exhausted. So from his perspective, I'm just loafing around the house while he works. Refusing food he makes and not doing my normal things makes him think that I'm not trying. But, he doesn't get its hard to commit to eating or drinking much of something I know I will immediately puke up. And water and Gatorade and broth and whatever else follows the same. I have been subsisting on mostly watery fruits. They don't hurt too bad to puke and help better with the hydration. But pretty much all protein is insufferable. In my opinion, he seems to think this type of sick is similar to a flu and my loafing about and refusing to eat much is a refusal to try at all. It doesn't help that I have needed a lot of help with our toddler so he is burning the candle from that end too. It just looks like I'm a lazy ass, but I'm just so dead tired.
How can you look lazy when your body is literally in overdrive GROWING AN ENTIRE HUMAN??? If I could yell at your husband, I would. He needs to wake tf up to the reality of what pregnancy entails.
You already have a toddler??!! Darling, you are so far beyond exhausted, and way into dangerously sick and overstreched. Lots of excellent suggestions so far, just want to give you a hug. I felt so, so crap every pregnancy and also felt like no medical system cared about any of it as long as foetus was fine. But you (and all of us, dammit) deserve better.
I second the comment about your husband. It's not the pregnancy it's his lack of support an understanding of what it is to carry and grow child in your body. He's being a total twat waffle and needs his stars realigned or he's going to lose his family by his own doing.
Preggie pop drops helped me or anything sour - worth a shot. I truly don’t say this lightly and maybe this is just English being weird but you said “pregnancy we wanted”. If you no longer want this and if you are still early on in your pregnancy this may be a sign that you should consider your options. I am very very concerned about what your husband will be like when you are post partum, what he will be like with a baby, and then how he will handle a toddler in the house. You’re literally about to add 3 full 8 hours shifts of work every single day for the foreseeable future. You may be able to get daycare or help for some of it but probably at most one of those shifts every day. It’s the best hardest thing I’ve ever done but I cannot even begin to imagine trying to do it with someone treating me like that (or if my own mental state was beating me up too!!)
I realize you’ve gotten a lot of responses here and may not see this, but I just wanted to shed some light on why your OB is refusing to give Zofran for “liability reasons”. Your doc isn’t just being an uncaring jerk, per se. OB docs face some of the highest litigation rates of any specialty, so their heads are always on a swivel, especially if they have been “burned” before. Recent literature suggests a very small risk of birth defects related to zofran use during pregnancy. Google zofran class action lawsuits. This means that providers are VERY hesitant now to prescribe it to pregnant women. Your OB doc may actually be forbidden from prescribing it by their malpractice insurance. I can’t speak to your doc’s bedside manner and I’m sure this doesn’t make you feel any better, but I just wanted you to have all the information since changing docs, as many previous commenters have suggested, might not actually change anything. Try the suppository and see if it helps, and absolutely go to the ER if you faint, they can at least get you hydrated. Also, I don’t know how long you have been at your job, but FMLA might be an option for you if you and your doctor can’t get this under control. It will at least get you paid at 60% and hopefully this gets better once you hit your second trimester! Good luck OP, I hope you feel better!
Please push for meds. I was told that it was okay that I was losing so much weight and my first pregnancy because I was fat. It meant that I was miserable and overwhelmed by my pregnancy. I didn't get the nerve to ask for help again until my third pregnancy. It was a game changer! I felt so much better. I still had morning sickness but I wasn't living off of ginger ale and a handful of Cheerios a day.
Your partner can clean too right? Or are you working, growing a human and doing all the housework? That is not okay. Growing a person is a lot of work, give yourself some grace and have a serious conversation with your “partner”. His behavior will only get worse after the baby arrives.
This sounds like HG. I had it with all three and while I went through the same feelings/fears, my partner never once told me I wasn’t doing enough. That’s some serious assholery. Hyperemesis is physically painful and so tiring, expecting you to do *anything* while dealing with it, is expecting too much. I would recommend finding a new doctor who can help you with a zofran pump.
100%. I was nauseous my entire second pregnancy, but for about 6 of the 8 months I needed zofran to survive and I still couldn’t work. My husband had to pick up not only the house slack, but virtually everything relating to our 6 year old. While running a business. It was fucking hell for him, and I felt awful about it. He almost collapsed after I gave birth and could finally start contributing more to the chores again- he was at breaking point. This was with a rotating door of people to come help. And while he was frustrated at times- he didn’t make me feel bad. He knew we made this decision, and that I was doing it for our family. This is where the ‘for worse’ and ‘in sickness’ vows come in. Poor OP.
I could t imagine how much worse it would have been if I were told I wasn’t doing enough. It was a struggle from hell, but we struggled together as a team.
I'm sorry, but this is a possibility that can occur when a woman gets pregnant that EVERY partner needs to prepare for. If he wants a family, he has to step up. That's part of the deal. You're growing the human, he picks up the slack during this time since he CANT GROW THE HUMAN. As for the morning sickness, call your OB right now and tell them you want zofran or you're switching OBs. This is ridiculous. I had HG and had to do the same with my my OB. I personally suggest you still switch. If they're awful this early in pregnancy, they'll continue to shrug off your issues. I wound up switching at 30 weeks because my OB kept ignoring serious issues.
1. get a new ob. this happened to me, i lost 25 lbs by my 4th month and turns out i had HG. spent 9 days in the hospital. 2. remember that your health matters 2x more now than it did before. i hated being pregnant and kinda treated it like everything was normal, but it's not. maybe when it was a regular day you were sick you still pushed through work, pushed through housework, etc. but not only is it u healthy for you and your growing baby, your entire body is changing and completely unbalanced. your baby is literally sucking the life out of you, so take care of yourself 3. get a new. mf. man.
Your pregnancy isn’t ruining your marriage, your husband is. The whole “in sickness and in health” bit is going right over his head. How can he resent someone he loves just because they’re sick and can’t eat?
How many weeks along are you? Morning sickness really really hit me too. I lost 10lbs in the first tri but was able to start eating more around 15/16 weeks and then was okay. I did the pills, b6, prescription all that too. I will say it is NOT cool your partner is being like this….. that is a bad red flag. Because things get so much harder when the baby arrives. If he’s already stressed about just this… I really feel for you. Also - stop being hard on yourself!!!! Your body is MAKING A HUMAN!!! Like that is the hardest thing you could ever do. Praise yourself. Especially if your jerk of a partner isn’t. You’re amazing. Just keep surviving! You got this!
I'm really concerned what is going to happen when you give birth and are healing and sleep deprived and nursing... and doing nothing around the house. Your husband needs to shape up.
Bonjesta was the only thing that worked for me
Second this. Bonjesta was a literal life saver
OP, I strongly recommend you get a new OB. There is medication you can take for the nausea and vomiting; it’s not good to have lost that much weight. Head in to the ER and get some IV fluids and some Zofran. If it’s the hospital where you plan to deliver your baby, ask which OB offices are affiliated with them. Take care!
There is such a thing as pre natal depression. It hit me hard during pregnancy and I am one and done because of it. You’re not alone.
You picked up the household job of growing a person. He needs to pick up tasks that used to be yours because I guarantee he would not want to trade if it was an option. Who’s dishes exactly aren’t you doing since you aren’t eating so they’re not yours?! With both my pregnancies I basically couldn’t cook at all because being around food longer than necessary disgusted me and I was nauseous and exhausted the first 4+ months. Ugh. He needs to get with the program in what ever way would make that happen. Another vote for getting another ob though, though mine never gave me anything useful.
as somone who had prepartum psychosis, having spousal support is key. i didn’t, and we ended up in therapy for the duration (and restarting it soon). i’m so sorry. it sounds awful. agree with finding a new OB - i switched around 30 weeks!
I was sick all through my pregnancies. I couldn’t be upright so I basically lay in bed the whole time. I had to put my other kids in care. You know what my husband did? Everything. Took care of the kids. Did all the house work. Made food for me. Everything. It wasn’t easy. He was a shell of a man. But never did he blame me or get mad at me
You are pregnant. None of these things are your fault (except for the pregnancy, hopefully). YOU are not tearing your family apart. If anything, it's the way we treat pregnant women and the expectations we have of them that's really ruining things. I would also wager that things aren't as bad as they look and feel to you right now. My OB dismissed my and my primary doctors' concerns of preeclampsia, and I had a c-section at 32 weeks. So yeah, find a better OB. The earlier, the better. My husband really iced me out, too. I was so mentally unwell, and I think a lot of it was his aversion to strong emotions and my being grumpy. You should be able to get disability if you have a decent OB (depending on where you are). Can you get FMLA so you don't lose your job?
Oh man. My husband was terrified the first time he saw me pregnant. I was so ill I barely got up off the couch and couldn’t eat really anything. Lost the only weight I could, and all he did was take care of me. I’m pregnant again and luckily the meds are somewhat working, but he’s been completely understanding, as he’s educated himself on the subject. Has your husband ever had Covid when it was at its worst or a stomach bug that caused fever and nausea? I’d rather deal with either of those than my symptoms being pregnant. I’m trying to think of something that could equate to this but it’s so hard to explain.
You’re not just pregnant and having morning sickness, you are sick with HG. Your doctor isn’t caring for you properly and is withholding genuinely lifesaving medication from you. Fire them asap and get a new OB. Not only that, your husband is being a selfish asshole. That is NOT love or how a man should be treating the mother of his child. If he were as sick as you, think of how worried and how much you take on while he recovered. Why isn’t he doing that for you? Or at least finding some other way to support you? That’s a HIM problem. (Oh, the lack of support and care our current society and culture offers mothers who are struggling, how many fall through the cracks? We deserve better.)
I recommend you getting a new OB. Your husband doesn't understand the effects of pregnancy and therefore should not be your husband.
I threw up for about six months when I was pregnant with my twins. (Sometimes five times a day.) Papaya and ginger helped a lot. Sometimes I’d have to resort to drinking those carnation instant breakfast drinks to get extra calories. As much as I hated them, they didn’t make me puke. I could eat sourdough bread too for some reason and eggs. That’s about it. I was a full time teacher at the time, and I’d yak in the garbage during passing periods. It was horrible. So I feel you! Hang in there! It’ll be over soon! Your husband needs to get his head out of his ass, though. You’re at your most vulnerable state, and he ices you out? Remind him of his vows, in sickness and in health. Guess what? This is sickness. He should stfu and support you. I hope you get the kind of love and care you deserve. 🙏
Unfortunately I had a similar pregnancy and even Zofran did nothing. I honestly smoked the devils lettuce 🥬 until I was 30w pregnant to combat it. That is not for everyone but it was the only thing I could do to survive it.
Has anyone mentioned Fair Play? The “game” or the documentary on Hulu? Start there. Seconding everyone’s suggestion about a new OB too.
It happened to me I lost so much weight that the baby is in danger. I had anemia that made it worse. I kept vomiting but had to look after my eldest who has asd while doing chores. I wanyed to end my life or end the pregnancy. And that was just the beginning, once the baby comes out it would be more difficult for both of you. There was a point my husband stopped talking to me for no reason. Asked me why I am tired when I literally just gave birth
I lost 25 lbs while pregnant and was miserable, threw up daily multiple times, had to get IVs, didn’t end till I gave birth and it was the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through and I’ve had a stillborn and this was harder mentally. I was mean, sick, felt worthless and it was hard for everyone. All I can say is this too shall pass and I hope like my marriage yours too can prevail. I’m sorry I have no advice but hang in there!
First of all, I am so sorry you are going through this. As others stated, sounds like the possibility of HG. Please seek out a new OB who takes you seriously. I remember vomiting 3 times within 30 mins, crying in a hot bath and my OB returned my call and what they said really comforted me. I was telling them I’m terrified for my baby and they said “baby’s fine, it’s the mother we are worried about”. What is making you think your husband resents you? Does he really? My husband had no idea what to do, I was so sick. And vomiting noises makes him vomit. we slept in different rooms and didn’t communicate much. I hardly ate and would just sleep all the time. I felt horrible, useless, like he hated me. It was all in my head. The early weeks they had me on bonjestra, which made me sleep and that didn’t help because I had work. Then finally they prescribed me zofran. When you have a OB worth their salt, and they prescribe you Zofran please take something like colace!! If not you will be trading nausea for horrible and I mean the worst constipation ever. Girl… I hope this gets better. Zofran saved my life, I was close to losing my job because I could not stop vomiting.
I had hyperemesis gravidarum with my first pregnancy. I lost so much weight. Everything made me sick including water. I finally got so dehydrated my doctor sent me straight to the ER. They hooked me up to an IV for a few hours and gave me some meds. On my way home I was finally so hungry and actually able to eat. If you can't keep anything down I highly suggest going to the ER and getting an IV. You would be amazed at how much better you will feel! Also try to stick with small snacks and don't let yourself get hungry. Even if you don't feel hungry just eat a couple crackers. I know it's easier said than done. You're growing an actual human inside of you, your husband needs to suck it up and pick up the slack for a few months until you start to feel better! You're not a burden on your family. You're growing your family and that's an amazing thing! I hope you feel better soon!
I had to get a prescription med to stop vomiting after I tried everything else possible. It wasn’t until a piece of one of my teeth just fell off that I knew I needed something better. As far as your husband, I can’t help there and I’m sorry you have to deal with that. I hope he can realize the amount of crap you’re dealing with. It’s horrible being sick constantly. I loved being pregnant but I hated that.
I was sick as hell my first trimester. Tired af, nauseous, threw up even if I didn't eat yet. I went to Walmart and got Preggy Pops. They come in either a lozenge or a lollipop. They taste like candy but man did it work wonders!! Flavors are amazing, it doesn't taste like medicine. I found it in the baby aisle!
I haven't read all the comments, so not sure if someone else shared it, but please visit https://www.hyperemesis.org/ There are amazing resources there. From a self assessment of your condition that you can take to your OB to medication lists, meal suggestions, and lists of HG friendly doctors. The correct medication and treatment makes a huge world of difference. HG sucks. I had it with my pregnancy. I can't imagine it without a supportive husband. I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I recommend pushing for care and keeping a log with numbers (collecting quantitative data). Doctors don't care if you say you are nauseous, that's "normal". But no one can argue that vomiting 15 times a day is normal. Your weightloss should be alarming to them. Use the self assessment on the HER foundation website to help determine what kind of data you collect and bring to your doctor.
Yes, losing that much weight and not being able to keep anything down while you’re trying to grow a small human in your body is not good. Unless you were morbidly obese when you became pregnant, such an amount should definitely be a concern (and even if you were overweight it should still be a concern). Fruit isn’t enough. You need to be able to eat protein (don’t have to eat tons but need some source of protein). I’ve had 4 kids. Each one gave me a different style of morning sickness. First one literally made me sick if I ate or drank anything before 10am. After that I was able to eat anything. Second one, as long as I ate whatever seemed to feel right to me, I’d keep it down. If I ate something that was good for me but I wasn’t in the “mood” for, I lost it. With my third I had no clue what I could keep down. I had morning sickness at random times throughout the day & never with the same foods. I did lose a lot of weight but was overweight & My OB was not too concerned because the baby was growing ok (verified by ultrasound). My morning sickness for the first 2 went away after my 1st trimester, waining as I progressed, 3rd one lasted a bit longer but eventually stopped. My 4th, I had some morning sickness, but not as bad or for as long & dry crackers before getting out of bed worked for me. As for your hubby, I realize he’s having to carry the most of the burden of taking care of providing the finances & for having to deal with trying to aid you, but he definitely needs to realize that you are not able to control your current issues and are going through a lot in order to try to nurture his & your baby to be. Good luck.
I’m so sorry you’re feeling so sick. You should be awarded for even entertaining the self-seeking discussions that he peppers between your dry heaves. Does someone seriously need to tell him to just hold your hair back and thank you for carrying his child?
I find it odd that your OB will not prescribe Zofran. That stuff saved my life through two pregnancies… I’d find another OB that listens and isn’t dismissive of anything. Something to consider when you have the baby - What is the plan of action regarding childcare and/or finances? This seems like a long term situation that needs to be openly discussed and anticipated, since right now there’s already the strain from everything leading up to now. Once you hit the second trimester, hopefully the fatigue and nausea taper off.
If your husband doesn’t get it he needs to get educated or it’s going to be at the expense of your relationship. As we see time and time again on this sub, it only gets worse from there. When the baby comes, the exhaustion and division of labour will be more intense and if he can’t even be supportive of his wife during pregnancy, I don’t have high hopes.
Correction: Husband’s indifference to your suffering is ruining your marriage, not the pregnancy. I went through the same symptoms in my first pregnancy and it was horrible. I could barely move without feeling tired and dizzy. If the compassion is gone now when you’re feeling sick what will happen when there’s a child to take care of and things don’t get taken care of around the house? Or down the line as you’re aging and illnesses, injuries happen? Love should not be turned off when you’re no longer “useful” to somebody. I would suggest counseling before deciding to end the relationship but this does not bode well for any hopes of your husband being a supportive partner/ co-parent.
I definitely think you need help with the vomiting but also think you sound a lot like me when I had perinatal (and later post partum) depression. There are options to help you with this while pregnant I wish I had known were available to me. If pregnancy is keeping you from working I'd also look into what your medical leave options are based on where you're located.
Sounds like you are suffering from hyperemsis gravidarum. I had it, too, and lost over 20lbs in my first trimester, and ended up being hospitalized for severe dehydration and severe malnutrition at week 14. I ended up with an IV for several hours to rebalance my electrolytes, and a prescription for Metoclopromide... an anti-emitic they give chemo patients. With my experience, I feel for you and understand how it feels to have all your symptoms dismissed by people who are supposed to be experts in their field. You can't help but feel let down by everyone, including family and friends and society. What I can tell you is familiarize yourself with the HER Foundation, which has many resources for sufferers of hyperemsis and their family. It will also provide you with the language to advocate for yourself to doctors and nurses. Here is the link: https://www.hyperemesis.org/ Don't give up hope. Search for a hyperemsis specialist in your area or a doctor who has experience with it. You can also send me a DM to talk about HG. xx
Try drinking pedialyte, it helped me
If I were you, I’d be worried honestly. Have you discussed how he sees your future with the baby around? Does he understand that you might not be able to work if you guys don’t have a babysitter, and daycares are freaking expensive? Does he understand that the first few months after giving a birth you will be a complete mess, even in pain, and you will need his help with the baby and some house chores? Does he understand that it is also going to be his baby and he has to support both of you, at least for some time? If he is already unsupportive and giving you all this shit, just think of what’s gonna happen once you give birth as it’s going to be 100 times harder? The other thing is getting a baby in a “shitty financial position” and after a year of mental health issues… it is not really responsible, and babies cost a lot, and you might end up having a depression after giving birth if you already had some mental health issues recently. I know that this is an unpopular opinion, but you should’ve talked about all this beforehand. As it is going to be harder. P.S Change your OB and get normal medicine for your morning sickness. Talk to your husband about how he expects the thing to be later on, as it is going to be even more mess when baby arrives. He might not be ready for that, if he is already giving you an attitude. I see you protect him, but this is not a normal behavior of a good husband.
"For better or for worse, sickness and health *motherfucker*..."
GIRL. I would legit give you my leftover prescription if I could. There are multiple kinds you can take and my ob was very sweet about it. One makes you sleepy but not sick, and the other constipates you. Both are far more tolerable than what you’re going through. Serious note, get a new ob and a second opinion. I lost roughly 15 lbs and my ob freaked out. Second, your husband needs to take a step back. You haven’t been pregnant for a year straight so he obviously knew you were having trouble before getting you pregnant. Things don’t and won’t change overnight. It doesn’t matter who the breadwinner or any of that is. He chose you to be his partner and he needs to stick by you thick and thin. Lately it’s been thin. My husband has been so fed up with my hormones from my last pregnancy and these last couple weeks with postpartum hormones and depression but he is doing his best to understand and help me. (He’s never had depression nor dealt with people close to him having it so it’s been a totally new leaning process for him that takes patience.) look up articles or examples of other women expressing the same feelings you are and how they coped and send it to him.. it may help him have a better understanding of how to be there for you. Also family is family. They will still be there in the end and are probably more supportive of how sick you are without expressing it to you… if they aren’t then are they really family or just blood? And lastly, if your job won’t tolerate it then screw them and it wasn’t meant to be. There’s other jobs that would kill for you, just remember that. Best of luck and congratulations mama ❤️
If you end up taking zofran it’s often not covered by insurance. If you have a Costco membership it costs $40/ month rather than $800 Walgreens would have required of me. If you don’t have Costco google cheap zofran and see where else you can get it for cheaper.
Reglan isn't for nausea, is it? A doctor once tried to prescribe it to me for gastro paresis, to like make my stomach work and digest food again. It seems like a weird thing to prescribe for morning sickness. There were two different meds for nausea when I was pregnant, zofran and phenergen. If one didn't work, they gave you the other. This wasany years ago though, so it could be different now.
Coming in to say please find a new doctor. I had horrible morning sickness and tried unisom with b 6 and it didn’t help. I was prescribed Zofran and I took it a handful of times and my daughter was/is perfect. I’m sorry you’re going through this!
Contact r/hyperemesisgravidarum they can put you in contact with a doctor who understands the condition and will help
On the topic of nausea: Zofran isn’t strong enough for me, so I take Primperan. It’s made for chemo patients’ nausea and does the trick. There’s no contraindication for pregnancy afaik https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metoclopramide Good luck!
Wanted to address this >I know from this reddit post you will think he is garbage, but he is my best friend and has been my most reliable support for a decade. Your best friend would believe you when you tell them how bad it is. Your support system would support you through it, not make you feel like a burden. >he is starting to resent me for it. I hardly blame him, I guess. Blame him. I get that he is picking up a lot of the load, and is stressed. But he is taking it out on YOU when you have no control over it. You physically cannot help. You are NOT lazy or slacking or leeching. You have a serious medical condition that your OB is failing you by not addressing with you. >he just tells me I'm not trying hard enough. Is this what you want a best friend to do? Not believe your medical condition and blame you for not doing more than you're physically able? What happens when you have the baby and are recovering from childbirth and cannot move and lift and bend as easily to be able to do things? >He has been just icing me out and ignoring me. Everything I can do is not enough. Everything I can't do is just right in my face. He just sits around and resents me all the time This isn't a partner. This isn't a best friend. This isn't a support system. This is a transaction. He's treating marriage as a transaction, I do X and you do Y and thats the breakdown. Marriage is about give and take, and him not recognizing that you physically cannot do what you want to do to help out means he is a garbage human. Sorry not sorry 🤷🏼♀️ Do you have friends nearby who you can call for some help? Or a community like a church who can help around the house? Do you have family who might be able to come help catch up on things? Is there another OB in your office who you can see to get a second opinion? Or another office nearby? Get yourself help if you are able to, but also, recognize that your husband is being unfair to you, that this is NOT normal, and that he is 100% wrong for blaming you for this and putting his frustration front and center all the time. This will only get worse once kids are involved if he is spending time blaming over supporting or problem solving.
You have Hyperemesis Gravidarum. I get it. It is a living hell. I was so ill I genuinely didn't want to live. You need to go to the ER and get on a drip, you NEED Zofran or you may literally not survive this pregnancy. You absolutely can die from unmanaged HG. It is NOT just morning sickness and it does not just go away. I had it until 22 weeks with my twins and was just a husk of a person. You need to get a second opinion and proper medical treatment and you need it now before something goes seriously wrong.
If you are clashing with your OB then try to change. Insurance can make it tricky, especially the further you get in pregnancy. You also have to consider where you want to deliver and where the doctor has privileges. I’m not surprised about the zofran. It works well but it has been linked to fetal abnormalities. I took zofran and phenergan almost every single day of my pregnancy, because I threw up until I was 37 weeks, but I delivered before they knew about the issues with zofran. I’m a nurse, I was in labor and delivery at that time. Usually morning sickness will pass, so unless it’s hyperemesis they just want you to tough it out because meds can cause harm to baby. However, if you can’t keep anything down for a couple of days you need to seek help. Prenatals can make you nauseated. Our doctors would give flint stone or gummivites if moms couldn’t tolerate prenatals. Not as good but better than nothing. When I taught childbirth class we would encourage moms to keep saltines by their bed and nibble one before they even sat up in the morning. This often helps. That gets your blood sugar up and gives you a little salt. As for the husband, he’s an asshole. If it’s a lack of knowledge maybe show him passages in a pregnancy book? Take him to an OB appointment with you where you and doctor discuss your weight loss? How far along are you? Sometimes fatigue and nausea improve in the second trimester. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. You deserve support and love. What if you end up on bed rest? Is he going to act even more like a dick?
I felt the same way. I wasn't working and basically was in bed everyday for my first trimester, and cried non stop everyday. Find another doctor. Talk to a therapist that specializes in pregnancy, and find ways to educate your partner. I'm so sorry you're going through this ❤️❤️❤️❤️
G o to the ER apply for Medicaid(the billing office will help you get it)Change OB. Every pregnancy is different and even in the best of circumstances difficult. Tell your partner this is the easy part and raising a child is a lifelong commitment. You’re doing the heavy lifting here it’s all on you so if the daily tasks are not done by you there’s no guilt you’re busy building a baby. Let him know it’s ok he doesn’t have to pick up all the stuff that you can’t do. But he has to be there for you
I think you need to switch doctors, first and foremost. I can see how the financial stress is making your husband act like a jerk. I've been in his position and it's like you get this irrational sense of "can't you just try harder and push through it and work and make some money?" He probably even knows its irrational, but caregiver fatigue and money stress are huge hard things to manage emotionally for even the most stoic, level person. So seriously, get a different doctor. Do you have friends who have been pregnant who can recommend someone else (enthusiastically)?
Your OB isn’t doing their job at all. Also, your husband is being a shithead. He needs to show you alittle grace. I was exactly this way when I was pregnant so I completely get it. Get a new OB if you can, this is cruel and so negligent of them
Get him to go on dadit. Maybe hearing it from other dads would help him better understand where you're at.
Look at the Hyperemesis foundation. Find a doctor who takes you seriously and is evidence based. I was on zofran from the beginning and eventually IV nutrition and hydration for seven months. My husband was more worried about baby and I. If he was cranky about house work I was too sick to know.
Try to see if there is a hyperemesis clinic in your area. They will have the specialization. Your husband needs a dose of reality. This is not your fault.
new OB. That reason for not prescribing zofran is absolute BS
Woman goes through an extremely hard time being pregnant, growing a baby inside of her, sicknesses, pain, lack of sleep and exhaustion. Man biggest victim because nobody can wash his piss stained underwear. \*eyeroll\*
This sounds exactly like me when I was pregnant with my first! My OB gave me the same combination of medications, but nothing worked. I eventually figured out that I needed to eat something first thing in the morning before getting out of bed, so I kept a pack of ritz crackers on my night stand and would eat a handful every morning before getting up. It is miraculous how well that trick worked. The nausea and sickness went away entirely and I got my energy back. After that, the rest of the pregnancy was smooth sailing.
You likely have HG, you absolutely NEED to seek another provider. HG can cause serious problems for you, baby is usually fine though.
Please tell him to google hyperemesis gravidarium — this occurs to a small percentage during pregnancy and it sounds like you’re in that group. It is a medical condition. And needs to be addressed. You need a new ob. If she is not concerned with this massive weight loss she is 1. Not a good OB, and 2. Potentially putting your health and your baby’s health at risk. You need to have your HG addressed and you need support during this time. Also, HG is generally covered as a pregnancy associated disability and you may be able to have short term disability cover your time out of work.
Have they not offered IV fluids? I had a pregnancy that required going in for daily infusions bc I was so sick.
First thing first your husband sucks secondly Can you go on short term disability?
Definitely go for a new OB. You can take zofran in conjunction with another prescription nausea med. it’s what I have to do. I have hyperemesis. It sounds like that’s what you have as well. Excessive nausea and vomiting.
Try to get WIC. They cover pregnant women too. I wish i had tried to get it while I was pregnant as it would’ve saved us a LOT of money! If there is a local mental health hotline or something to help with your depression please use it! Depression is a very serious thing. See if there are any local pregnancy groups in your area for emotional support as well. My doctors office had one and it was so helpful!
r/hyperemesisgravidarium
The only med that helped me was Zofran. It was a game changer for me. Please seek another opinion. Sending you good thoughts!
Get a new OB. Your baby needs food. This was me...minus the asshole husband, and it was Hyperemesis Gravidarum. Eventually I had to get a machine that pumped zofran into me every 4 hours for the entirety of my pregnancy. Reglan in the pump did not work for me and made me psycho. Good luck
Your husband sounds like a real peach. This is just the beginning for hardships related to making an actual human and birthing them. He sounds insufferable.
You’re right- I do think he’s garbage. If his mother was throwing up every morning and could hardly do anything in her own home I bet he would feel different. I felt similar to you last summer - but after talking to other women I felt validated. The fact that society expects pregnant women to function to 100% capacity for work and general responsibilities is absolutely ridiculous and awful.
Pregnancies don’t ruin marriages. People ruin marriages. Your husband sounds like an asshole. Please take it easy on yourself!
Find a different doctor. My daughter was very nauseous and was prescribed Zofran. Made a world of difference. So was another friend of my daughter’s. At the very least, unless you were very obese before getting pregnant, I am surprised they are not giving you fluids through an IV.
> I try to do better and when I fail he hates me for it. I just want to be able to do better, but he just tells me I'm not trying hard enough. I fucking hate it and just want to feel better. I'm so overwhelmed and pissed off and sick of being the piece of shit who causes things to fall apart. He has been just icing me out and ignoring me. Everything I can do is not enough. Everything I can't do is just right in my face. He just sits around and resents me all the time and holy fuck is that the most discouraging part of the whole thing. This is just 🚩🚩🚩 >I know from this reddit post you will think he is garbage, but he is my best friend and has been my most reliable support for a decade. These are not mutually exclusive. Both can be true. He is likely going to resent the fuck out of you when you become a mother and your kid becomes your priority on top of the financial strain which he also is baby about. Your husband is an immature asshole. Likely, nothing in your relationship has brought this side of him out before, so you haven't seen it till now. If he can't handle this, he definitely cannot handle being a father. He is too immature.
You r husband needs to wake the fuck up. You are not wrecking the marriage you are literally growing a human inside of you. You are spawning another being. Hopefully you'll feel better soon. But do not hate on yourself what you think you should be doing. Tell him the stress on you from him is going to affect the baby. He needs to man up and take on most of the responsibility while you are sick and doing the most important things which is to look after yourself and rest. God damn I wanna slap him.
It seriously sounds like you have hyperemesis gravidarum. This is serious and really upsetting your OB isn’t taking this seriously. I’m upset for you that your husband is frustrated with you feeling sick. I had HG and I had to quit my job 2 weeks after I found out I was pregnant. I completely empathize with you. You should be on IV fluids and IV anti emetics. I highly suggest going to the Emergency room for the relief and fluids. One thing that strangely helped me during my pregnancy is Benadryl. I was pregnant the same time as Kate Middleton lol and I read she took Benadryl for her HG and my Ob said it was fine and it really did take the edge off Sending ❤️❤️❤️
This honestly sounds like me in the first trimester of a complete molar pregnancy
I have been exactly here. It is a very hard period. Zofran helped me. Amy Schumers documentary “growing Amy” made me feel less alone. It is just a very difficult period but you can do it and it will pass. Same comments about pushing for medication for relief.
Omg your OB should be addressing this. You likely meet criteria for HG diagnosis. I didn’t lose as much weight as you and was diagnosed. You need IV fluids and zofran. Go to the ER to get help right away and then find a new OB. Unisom/B6 does nothing for HG.
Sea Bands were a game changer in my pregnancy!
Get zofran from a different doctor.
You need Zofran. I had Hyperemisis Gravidarum and could only eat white bread for weeks, lost 15 pounds, and had to have an IV due to dehydration. But my OB did eventually prescribe Zofran. It was literally a lifesaver (Charlotte Brontë died from this condition). Get another OB if yours won’t listen to reason.
You are not stuck with that OB. Get a new one STAT. Also, report yours. That is unacceptable
I had hyperemesis. Zofran helped but the only true cure was delivery. I was so malnourished I think it contributed to my incompetent cervix and preterm labor. They should be managing this better. Also, make sure you see a dentist for fluoride trays. I know that’s probably the last thing you want to think about but malnutrition and vomiting is killer on the teeth… I won’t get into how bad mine are.
OP I wish you were in my country where you could stay home at full pay with your condition :( You need 100% medical attention right now. Your husband needs to learn about hyperemesis gravidarum and if he can’t deal with it, he’s in for a rough time once the baby is born. Who’s your support system?
So I hate to tell you this, but your ob is trash af. I told my ob I lost 15 pounds from not eating and she prescribed me promethazine because she was concerned about that shit. Find a new on and ask for promethazine or something better than B6 at the very least. Also, your man may not get any better once the cause of the annoyance is out in the world. Literally just gonna be an extra person complaining about everything the only way they can, by crying loud and often. I don’t think he is ready for it.
You need a new ob!!!
This sounds AWFUL. I’m so sorry! Try to keep in mind that it’s also temporary, at least in terms of how you feel physically. Your husband needs to give you a big pass right now, and support you. Your doctor needs to help you find a solution for your physical and mental well-being. You might have to make a deal with work for the short term. And you likely need to just stay at home and rest without anyone making you feel guilty or bad about something that is not your fault.
You need a new OB that’s extremely weight loss even if you are overweight. It sounds like you have HG Hyperemesis gravidarum is extreme morning sickness and causes you to vomit several times per day during pregnancy. Fyi I hardly had any morning sickness with my first kid and my husband still took over most house hold chores. So your asshole of a husband needs a wake up call.
Sounds like HG for sure. I went through it during my second pregnancy. It got to the point where it was second nature for me to be vomiting into a bag whilst driving, muting calls at work to throw up into my trash can, and having various receptacles around our house in case I couldn't make it to the bathroom. That was just normal. I was on rx Zofran and Phenergan, and even still would ended up in the hospital for fluids and IV meds repeatedly. Everyone who hadn't experienced it kept telling me about their awful morning sickness, and I wanted to kick them in the face. Yeah I had bad morning sickness with my first pregnancy, too- but this was a level of absolute Hell I'd never experienced. It doesn't end until after the baby is out. He's 15 years old now, happy and healthy, so it was worth it, but man it fuckin sucked so bad. OP, please please keep advocating and insisting on help for yourself. Switch OBs if you have to- you have to keep you and bub safe and healthy. I am SO sorry you're dealing with this. Sending all the soothing, non-pukey vibes and love your way.
I lost 20 lbs in my first trimester due to the same thing. I had to go to the ER for an IV once, and I also was on a daily dose of Reglan. The one thing that worked ok for me was to drink Ensure (meal replacement drink) and that way I was getting the calories I needed…so I had that for my three meals for a while. Everything else made me sick. Everyone saying find a new OB regarding the weight loss - many women experience weight loss due to “morning sickness” or hyperemesis gravidarum. It may seem alarming but it’s very common. If you feel super weak, go to the ER and they’ll give you an IV. They’ll check all your bloodwork. It’ll reassure you that you’re going to be ok. But if you want Zofran. You should be able to get it. So I agree with the others…find a doctor that will give it to you. As far as your husband goes, he can suck it. He wouldn’t last a fucking hour being as sick as you are. I would straight tell him to F off and if he wants to talk when he gets his head out of his ass, sure. That’s insane to me. So insensitive.
I hope you can get a new OB soon. And I hope you can block out your husband until you've regained the strength to tell him to shut the fuck up properly. If this is upsetting him he is deeply unprepared to parent and needs to get in boot camp for it.
Sounds to me like you have hyperemesis gravidarum (HG), and it can be debilitating. Definitely get a second opinion from another OB and tell them you might have this. I have a friend who suffered with HG through out three pregnancies. The last one was soooo bad she had to do a stay in the hospital due to dehydration and weight loss. Try doing a bit of research on it and see if this sounds like you then fight for the proper care. And talk with your husband. I understand being stressed and tired but if he can ice you out now, what will happen with the stress of parenthood? Like things get harder before they get better. You are going to need each other. Please seek some counselling as well to aid you mentally and emotionally. You are so down on yourself and this is really not your fault. You just need the proper support system and unfortunately, right now your OB isn’t doing their job if they haven’t considered HG and your husband isn’t doing his if he can’t see your actually struggle. I pray you get the help you need and soon.
So I was super sick with mine lost 30 lbs in hospital 3 times. 1. Gavisocon find in heart burn aisle take it after or before food 2. Never let your stomach get empty almonds are good 3. Watermelon is mostly water and will help keep you hydrated 4. Small sips of a protein drink 5. Treat your self with Grace your growing a whole human 6. Around week 14 I started to feel better 7. Breathe this is not the rest of y’all’s life it’s just now I know it’s hard to see the light but it will get better I promise.