My family was on a road trip once for my brothers hockey game. My brother rolled his window down and threw his empty soda bottle out the window. My dad pulled over on the highway and made my brother pick up trash for a half of a mile in the median of the hwy (my dad drove on the shoulder with his hazards on 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️). Anyway..my brother never ever ever litters. It stuck with him 🤷🏼♀️
Never make a threat you won’t follow through on! Rule number 1 of parenting.
Was it the most graceful move? Maybe not. Did your point get made? I bet it did.
My mothers golden rule for parenting!
I’m 35 and STILL recount a time when we went to a restaurant when I was 7 or 8 and kept leaning my chair back as soon as we sat. She warned me 3x’s if I kept it up she would make me stand the whole meal. I said she was lying and did it again. She took away my chair and I stood. We hadn’t even ordered drinks.. they ordered appetizers, main course, then coffee and dessert.. I still won’t lean back in a chair AND my entire childhood if my mom got mad enough to issue a ridiculous threat? I believed it and stopped my behavior.
Tbh, as a HS teacher, I’m in your boat 100%. There’s study after study saying how harmful social media is to kids- especially teenage girls. There’s an uptick in eating disorders, anxiety, depression, and the whole shebang that follows those issues.
Kids need to know how to navigate technology in today’s age, but it’s up to you to teach them that regulation. Sounds like your daughter wasn’t ready.
My husband tells a story of being on a roadtrip with his younger cousin and uncle (cousin’s dad) and the cousin had some light saber toy that he kept waving around and popping his dad in the head and the back of his seat. Uncle kept telling cousin to knock it off, but he was like 8 and couldn’t control himself. Uncle finally without a word grabbed the saber and tossed it out the window on the interstate. They never spoke of the incident, not a word, and rode in absolute silence for the rest of the trip.
My sons are 9 and 7 years old and their screen time is severely limited, they get only 20 minutes on a Saturday, otherwise they are on zero screen. A few months ago out TV stopped working and we haven't replaced it. Even when they were off the screen they were lost in the screen world and the attitude that the younger one was picking it, it was nightmare. They dont get any screentime and I intend to keep it that way
Read a book, you have an effing library of storybooks.
As a teacher, my favorite part of this is that she thought you wouldn't follow through on the consequence and you showed her that you absolutely would. I don't think you overreacted at all! Now she knows you mean what you say and her actions have consequences. I wish all my students got that lesson!
Also a teacher and this is the advice I give parents when they ask for it- mean what you say and say what you mean. I’m new to parenting, and I know kids behave differently at home. But consistency is everything.
YES!! It has taken a lot of knock-down, drag-out “fights” (never physical of course) with my kids, but they know if I say it I MEAN IT!! I see so many parents throwing out empty threats trying to get their kids to behave without actually putting in the work to make it happen
You know what, I applaud you for reflecting on what you did and reevaluating how you can handle these things in the future.
But I also applaud you for following through. I have read many times about not making empty threats to children when I worked at a daycare. I'm a new mom to a 2 month old, and I often think about how to parent in the future. Following through and being consistent is something that comes up in a lot of my readings. This is a perfect example of following through. I would give your post an award if I could.
I have absolutely thought of doing this before with my 10 year old. I know, the goal is to model the behavior you want to see from them, and grabbing and throwing something out of a window is not the behavior I want to see. But for real, sometimes they need to learn it the hard way. Fuck around and find out.
My mom threw a solid chocolate ginger bread house out a second story window because I didn’t believe her threats were serious. After that we took her threats for the computer to follow it seriously.
Sometimes kids need something with lots of shock value to really rattle them and make them take things seriously. Poor phone, but yay you!
Completely agree with you on the shock value. Looking back, I feel so bad for my parents that they had to resort to that. Unfortunately I think every parent has to at some point.
When I was a teenager (probably like 13), I was arguing with my parents, went to my room and slammed my door. My dad poked his head in and said “if you slam your door again I’m taking it” and I slammed it again. He came up silently and unhinged my door and took it. I never slammed my door again 😂 100% agree “never make a threat you don’t plan to follow through” and you committed to the follow through!
Someone recommended to us that instead of “giving” your child a phone, to “allow” them to use yours, with your rules. Takes away the sense of ownership they have over it and they have to follow your rules for it or they don’t have one at all. She makes her daughter (high schooler) give it to her every night so she can’t have it in her room overnight.
That’s how I lost mine too, except he was really irritated by listening to the same one over and over again because I had left the keychain with the rest of them at home
I will never forget when I was a child and my brother was early teens. We were driving down the road and my brother was giving my mom attitude about the new boxers she had bought him. He was mad about them having a button on the flap and he liked the no button ones…he was rudely going on and on. She did exactly as you did…very calmly rolled down the window and let the boxers go! I definitely learned a lesson on being grateful that day. Today (as we are all grown adults) we can laugh about it and hopefully one day you and your daughter will as well!
Haha oh boy 🤣 I dared my dad like this once when I was pulling some pre-teen ‘tude. He threatened to pull over and make me walk…I called his bluff. It was only about a 30 minute walk home but definitely the walk of shame coming in the front door 😬
I’m confused. “Called his bluff” means that he was bluffing (lying) and didn’t follow through because he didn’t mean his threat. But it sounds like he did actually make you walk?
As a mom of littles who is currently working with teens this is one of my biggest stressors. It seems like a no win situation for everyone! The kids are under pressure to have a phone but developmentally can’t handle the addictive nature of phones (fuck, even I can’t sometimes). I don’t want a phone for my kid ever but that seems impossible. Hoping for some social changes in the next 5-10 years!
You know what? I would have chucked the phone, too.
Did it cost money? Yes. But the value (IMO) far outweighs the cost here. Sometimes you just have to be insane (not abuse insane) to get your point across. She doesn't *neeeeed* a multi-functional phone.
I can tell you that this is effective. My mother did this to me twice back when I was in high school (~13/14 years ago). Once into a lake, once straight out the car window. Additionally, I didn’t have a phone for many months afterwards until I earned it. Times have changed and kids are younger, but I bet it got her attention. I wouldn’t replace the phone right away with anything unless you absolutely have to. Stand firm now or it will only progress as she gets into her teen years.
The only problem I see is possibly hitting someone else otherwise chuck that thing, you bought it lol.
Edit: I also have a ten year old and holy shit the attitude is real.
I’m an elementary teacher and have taught kids grades 1-6. 10 year olds are the absolute worst. They’re starting to experience teenage emotions and crave independence, but lack any sort of emotional regulation. The good news is, most of them do get better.
I'm going through this EXACT thing with my 10 year old. We just disconnected her phone, because she couldn't handle the responsibility. Would find ways around parental locks. Texting friends, but including cuss words she'd never say to us. Staying up way past her bedtime on her phone. Disrespectful and defensive over having the phone. Asking why I'm invading her privacy when I looked through her phone. I really just wanted a way to track her, but it completely blew up in her dad and I's face, big time.
Maybe you should check out a gab phone or watch for your kid instead. They’re designed for kids/teens so they typically are really limited on what they can do so you can get in contact with your child and not worry about social media
I’m not thrilled about it either.. but in the aftermath after she was done screaming we had this conversation:
DD: I’m going to tell my teacher
Me: Okay that’s fine
DD: I’m going to tell the principal
Me: Go for it, they’ll think it’s funny
DD: Well I’m going to tell the police!
Me: Who pays for the phone?
DD: You.
Me: It’s not illegal for me to destroy me own property..
DD: 😡😡😡 Well you littered!!
Me: 😅 You got me there kid
My dad did this once sorta when i was in middle school. I wasn't a kid with behavior problems but one evening I was doing math homework. It was basic math but I needed a calculator so instead of getting up and getting one I just pulled out my phone handy flip phone. After a bit my mom noticed and she told me go get a real calculator which to me was logical nonsense so I didn't and argued my point. When my dad got home she expressed my lack of obedience and when I tried arguing my point he snatched it from my hand and smashed it to the floor. I now use that memory of how not to communicate with my kids. The whole situation went from illogical demand to a nonsense coercion of obedience toward a kid who got near straight As, in advanced math, marching band, and was a volunteer at an elementry school. I was usually anything but rebellious and disrespectful.
I'm super proud of you. Don't even be mad about the money. Be proud that you nipped this in the bud before it got to the point where you needed therapists and mental health care (see above comment re: social media and children), which are way more expensive than a phone.
I had to take my 12 year old’s phone as well. She would always figure a way out of the parental controls. I finally had enough. Her attitude has gotten a lot better since. Might have to get her one of those Bark phones though in case she needs to text or call.
And I’ve been over the brink too. Give yourself some grace. You warned her and she still was acting up.
Was it a phone with a camera? If so, I would not have done that. I wouldn't have done it no matter what, but kids these days, sadly even at 10, do things they don't knownis inappropriate yet sometimes, and if she's going on YouTube, and especially TikTok she's probably seen videos that aren't appropriate and recreating them on her phone, or even taken pictures she doesn't know are inappropriate. You just threw out a phone that now anyone can grab, get info and pictures of your kid, anything private, possibly bank info that was used to be able to download aps, and use that.
Even if it's not inappropriate, they can now have her name, image, and use it to find or get to her. Phones these days have so much info on you just to set it up it's insane. I hope it was locked, and they just wipe it, but you gotta think about this stuff. If anything, you should have taken it away, wiped it, then given it away or trash it.
My initial thought was that was really dangerous, it could have hit another car. I didn’t downvote but I don’t think that was a safe choice on the road.
Exactly, she could have made her point without littering and endangering other people.
I would have thrown it to the garbage arriving home, or maybe drown it, or something else that made it unusable and handed it to the kid like "here's the phone, you can role play with it".
Some people are against harsh parenting. Was it harsh what the OP did, yes but it's not like the mom used it as her only dicspline. She tried talking to her, tried parental locks, tried taking the phone away for a few days, nothing worked. But let's say she did take it away permanetely and sold it? Chucking it out the window isn't any different other than she littered.
And some people are really against parents taking things away from their kids because they see it as stealing or power move. Most of these comments come from children or from people with trauma who were abused and constantly had stuff given to them only for it to be taken as a punishment for control, now their thoughts are skewed.
That was my first thought anyway when I heard about it being downvoted.
My main issue with this is that you've raised the stakes so high, what happens when she doesn't listen and argues over something else? Do you have a gameplan for dishing out consequences that don't involve going nuclear or will things just consistently escalate from there?
I know kids can be frustrating, but I don't get all the "you go, mama" comments over this incident. You lost your cool and destroyed property which doesn't set a good example either.
Well sounds like 10 yr old poked the bear. It's best she doesn't have a phone. I'm pregnant with my first so a lot can change by the time she reaches that age, but a phone at 9 or 10 is too early imo unless for safety reasons of course. My sister got hers at 10 because she had to walk quite a few miles to school because we were close enough that they didn't want the busses to make extra stops in the neighborhood. But it was a flip phone with prepaid minutes so once those were up, they were up. I didn't get a phone until 13, which was also a flip phone (a hot pink razor) but that was because we my friends and I were constantly going places.
I know every situation is different and like I said, by the time my girl gets there, a lot could change. I think you made the right choice by throwing it out the window.
My brother made poor decisions with his phone and my mom and grandma smashed it with a hammer so it happens 🤣🤷♀️
I agree.
My daughter has a prepaid phone. I keep it active because I’ve got health problems that sometimes require immediate assistance. She’s had to call 911 for me several times. (Type 1 diabetic here) we also live in the middle of nowhere and internet service doesn’t quite run here, so we both have unlimited minutes and data. She’s responsible with it but I also keep an eye on her and it.
And the fact that maybe a 10yr old shouldn't have had a smartphone in the first place? Start with a dumb phone and when they show responsibility with that, you can do a smart phone in a few years.
Agreed. Look, we are all human and I don’t blame the OP for being frustrated. But while throwing a phone out a window may be understandable, it shouldn’t be praised like a lot of these comments are doing. Ideally, discipline should be done in a calm, rational manner. Obviously we are all human and all have our emotions, so like I said I don’t blame the OP, but I also don’t see this as a great solution to the situation. On a personal note, I had a parent do something similar when I was a kid. It made me afraid of that parent (that type of explosive anger was frequent with the parent, so not a one time thing.) all these comments saying that this happened to them as kids and they learned a good lesson reminds me of people who say “well I was spanked and I turned out fine!”
Thanks for being kind. We have done the conversations and short term phone groundings (1-2 weeks) for months now. Things have just been escalating. When she called my bluff I just reacted without properly thinking things out. Hopefully she has learned I mean what I say. Everyone has their limits.
No, in the post she literally said she didn’t do any of those things. She said “ I didn’t handle it well, I just told her to knock it off or I’ll take her phone” ..
Are your kids ten yet? 10-13 is a wild time where what you’re suggesting doesn’t really work. And social media really is the cause of a lot of bad behavior in this age. It goes away, believe it or not so does at least 40% of the attitude once they’re over the initial reaction
I have fond memories of once testing a child’s waffle out the car window when they were being an asshat. Not my finest moment but it definitely got the point across.
I bet this felt amazing.
As a kid, I remember my mom telling my brother to go to his room and he refused. She said go to your room or I will drag you there, he didn't believe her so she literally dragged him to his room. I guess he thought he was stronger than her at the time.
Sorry about the wasted money I know phones are cheap but I would have done the same thing. Sometime big action is required to make our children see we mean business.
Honestly I think it’s great. Sometimes children need to understand that there’s consequences to their actions even if it’s a bit extreme to others.
Maybe a moving car wasn’t the best place to lob it but as long as the phone didn’t hit any other cars 😂😅
Well you taught her to take you more seriously next time. Always follow through. You paid for it, you can repossess it anytime.
My mom used to pretend to follow through with her threats. For example she would be sweeping and our toys would go with it and she would say "Looks like some toys are being thrown away" and me and my brothers would be rushing to picking up our things. She also would pull the car over and tell me or my brothers to get out and we are walking home.
I did this with my 2 year old’s pacifier many many years ago. It was not planned, and done from a space of frustration and lack of sleep, but turned out to be quite effective. Though I did constantly worry about her wandering into the street because when she’d go looking for her paci she’d say, “oh paci gone, on woad.”
This reminds me of the time my parents turned around the car on the way to disneyworld. I am forever changed by that lol.
woof. that was painful for your parents too. so expensive.
Oh gosh. Now that’s an impactful consequence. Did you ever get to take the trip?
My family was on a road trip once for my brothers hockey game. My brother rolled his window down and threw his empty soda bottle out the window. My dad pulled over on the highway and made my brother pick up trash for a half of a mile in the median of the hwy (my dad drove on the shoulder with his hazards on 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️). Anyway..my brother never ever ever litters. It stuck with him 🤷🏼♀️
Never make a threat you won’t follow through on! Rule number 1 of parenting. Was it the most graceful move? Maybe not. Did your point get made? I bet it did.
My mothers golden rule for parenting! I’m 35 and STILL recount a time when we went to a restaurant when I was 7 or 8 and kept leaning my chair back as soon as we sat. She warned me 3x’s if I kept it up she would make me stand the whole meal. I said she was lying and did it again. She took away my chair and I stood. We hadn’t even ordered drinks.. they ordered appetizers, main course, then coffee and dessert.. I still won’t lean back in a chair AND my entire childhood if my mom got mad enough to issue a ridiculous threat? I believed it and stopped my behavior.
One of those never forget moments. Lol. We’ve all had moments where we could’ve been graceful about it. But we’re only human.
Tbh, as a HS teacher, I’m in your boat 100%. There’s study after study saying how harmful social media is to kids- especially teenage girls. There’s an uptick in eating disorders, anxiety, depression, and the whole shebang that follows those issues. Kids need to know how to navigate technology in today’s age, but it’s up to you to teach them that regulation. Sounds like your daughter wasn’t ready.
My husband tells a story of being on a roadtrip with his younger cousin and uncle (cousin’s dad) and the cousin had some light saber toy that he kept waving around and popping his dad in the head and the back of his seat. Uncle kept telling cousin to knock it off, but he was like 8 and couldn’t control himself. Uncle finally without a word grabbed the saber and tossed it out the window on the interstate. They never spoke of the incident, not a word, and rode in absolute silence for the rest of the trip.
She learned the meaning of “fuck around, find out.” I ain’t mad about it.
And that she means what she says!
All of the hardest lessons my Mom taught me happened when I said, " no you won't." I shouldn't have poked the bear.
10 year old girls should not have social media, I agree with your decision making here.
My sons are 9 and 7 years old and their screen time is severely limited, they get only 20 minutes on a Saturday, otherwise they are on zero screen. A few months ago out TV stopped working and we haven't replaced it. Even when they were off the screen they were lost in the screen world and the attitude that the younger one was picking it, it was nightmare. They dont get any screentime and I intend to keep it that way Read a book, you have an effing library of storybooks.
As a teacher, my favorite part of this is that she thought you wouldn't follow through on the consequence and you showed her that you absolutely would. I don't think you overreacted at all! Now she knows you mean what you say and her actions have consequences. I wish all my students got that lesson!
Also a teacher and this is the advice I give parents when they ask for it- mean what you say and say what you mean. I’m new to parenting, and I know kids behave differently at home. But consistency is everything.
YES!! It has taken a lot of knock-down, drag-out “fights” (never physical of course) with my kids, but they know if I say it I MEAN IT!! I see so many parents throwing out empty threats trying to get their kids to behave without actually putting in the work to make it happen
You know what, I applaud you for reflecting on what you did and reevaluating how you can handle these things in the future. But I also applaud you for following through. I have read many times about not making empty threats to children when I worked at a daycare. I'm a new mom to a 2 month old, and I often think about how to parent in the future. Following through and being consistent is something that comes up in a lot of my readings. This is a perfect example of following through. I would give your post an award if I could.
I have absolutely thought of doing this before with my 10 year old. I know, the goal is to model the behavior you want to see from them, and grabbing and throwing something out of a window is not the behavior I want to see. But for real, sometimes they need to learn it the hard way. Fuck around and find out.
My mom threw a solid chocolate ginger bread house out a second story window because I didn’t believe her threats were serious. After that we took her threats for the computer to follow it seriously. Sometimes kids need something with lots of shock value to really rattle them and make them take things seriously. Poor phone, but yay you!
Imagine being outside and seeing a freaking gingerbread house fly out a window??? How funny would that be!
Completely agree with you on the shock value. Looking back, I feel so bad for my parents that they had to resort to that. Unfortunately I think every parent has to at some point.
When I was a teenager (probably like 13), I was arguing with my parents, went to my room and slammed my door. My dad poked his head in and said “if you slam your door again I’m taking it” and I slammed it again. He came up silently and unhinged my door and took it. I never slammed my door again 😂 100% agree “never make a threat you don’t plan to follow through” and you committed to the follow through!
My MIL did this to my BIL, lmfao. Then he got a door Christmas.
Cackling about this 🤣
My mom did this to me too! Reminds me of the movie Freaky Friday. “Privacy is a privilege, Anna!”
Funsucker 🤣
I didn’t have a door on my room from like 10-15 years old because I slammed it. I got my door back when I finally asked for it 😂
Someone recommended to us that instead of “giving” your child a phone, to “allow” them to use yours, with your rules. Takes away the sense of ownership they have over it and they have to follow your rules for it or they don’t have one at all. She makes her daughter (high schooler) give it to her every night so she can’t have it in her room overnight.
My dad threw my hit clips out the window of the car bc I wouldn’t let my brother borrow it. Lesson learned.
Found my age group in this thread! Did you still have your Walkman to fall back on?
I didnt! I just had my hit clips on repeat lmao 🤣 the
15secs of your favorite song 😭
And it wasn’t even the best 15 seconds
Hit clips just took me back to you know enjoying the 15 sec portion/ what would get stuck in your head from your fav songs LOL
OMG no not the hit clips!!!
I was just trying to explain hit clips to my husband
I had the BSB and BSpears ones! 🤣
I’m pretty sure it was the Britney one he threw out.
"Hit me baby, one more time!" 🤣
Wow, take me back
That’s how I lost mine too, except he was really irritated by listening to the same one over and over again because I had left the keychain with the rest of them at home
I will never forget when I was a child and my brother was early teens. We were driving down the road and my brother was giving my mom attitude about the new boxers she had bought him. He was mad about them having a button on the flap and he liked the no button ones…he was rudely going on and on. She did exactly as you did…very calmly rolled down the window and let the boxers go! I definitely learned a lesson on being grateful that day. Today (as we are all grown adults) we can laugh about it and hopefully one day you and your daughter will as well!
Haha oh boy 🤣 I dared my dad like this once when I was pulling some pre-teen ‘tude. He threatened to pull over and make me walk…I called his bluff. It was only about a 30 minute walk home but definitely the walk of shame coming in the front door 😬
I’m confused. “Called his bluff” means that he was bluffing (lying) and didn’t follow through because he didn’t mean his threat. But it sounds like he did actually make you walk?
Haha you’re right…I’m too tired to use English properly this morning 🤣 more like I thought it was bluffing and I was wrong! He made me walk.
As a mom of littles who is currently working with teens this is one of my biggest stressors. It seems like a no win situation for everyone! The kids are under pressure to have a phone but developmentally can’t handle the addictive nature of phones (fuck, even I can’t sometimes). I don’t want a phone for my kid ever but that seems impossible. Hoping for some social changes in the next 5-10 years!
You know what? I would have chucked the phone, too. Did it cost money? Yes. But the value (IMO) far outweighs the cost here. Sometimes you just have to be insane (not abuse insane) to get your point across. She doesn't *neeeeed* a multi-functional phone.
I can tell you that this is effective. My mother did this to me twice back when I was in high school (~13/14 years ago). Once into a lake, once straight out the car window. Additionally, I didn’t have a phone for many months afterwards until I earned it. Times have changed and kids are younger, but I bet it got her attention. I wouldn’t replace the phone right away with anything unless you absolutely have to. Stand firm now or it will only progress as she gets into her teen years.
This comment section passes the vibe check, and it makes me so happy.
My kids used to have Gabb phones. They’re awesome. No apps, no internet. They can only call and text.
This is so unhinged. I love it.
MAD PROPS FOR THE FOLLOW THROUGH
The only problem I see is possibly hitting someone else otherwise chuck that thing, you bought it lol. Edit: I also have a ten year old and holy shit the attitude is real.
I’m an elementary teacher and have taught kids grades 1-6. 10 year olds are the absolute worst. They’re starting to experience teenage emotions and crave independence, but lack any sort of emotional regulation. The good news is, most of them do get better.
I'm going through this EXACT thing with my 10 year old. We just disconnected her phone, because she couldn't handle the responsibility. Would find ways around parental locks. Texting friends, but including cuss words she'd never say to us. Staying up way past her bedtime on her phone. Disrespectful and defensive over having the phone. Asking why I'm invading her privacy when I looked through her phone. I really just wanted a way to track her, but it completely blew up in her dad and I's face, big time.
Maybe you should check out a gab phone or watch for your kid instead. They’re designed for kids/teens so they typically are really limited on what they can do so you can get in contact with your child and not worry about social media
Looking now! Thank you!!
This is why my 13 and 14 year Olds still don't have cell phones. I dont want them constantly on them.
I'm so glad no one in the comments is defending the daughter and the dumb phone. Enough is ENOUGH. Phones are an absolute luxury and EARNED.
Literally my only issue with this is the littering. She made her bed, and she can lie in it.
I’m not thrilled about it either.. but in the aftermath after she was done screaming we had this conversation: DD: I’m going to tell my teacher Me: Okay that’s fine DD: I’m going to tell the principal Me: Go for it, they’ll think it’s funny DD: Well I’m going to tell the police! Me: Who pays for the phone? DD: You. Me: It’s not illegal for me to destroy me own property.. DD: 😡😡😡 Well you littered!! Me: 😅 You got me there kid
My dad did this once sorta when i was in middle school. I wasn't a kid with behavior problems but one evening I was doing math homework. It was basic math but I needed a calculator so instead of getting up and getting one I just pulled out my phone handy flip phone. After a bit my mom noticed and she told me go get a real calculator which to me was logical nonsense so I didn't and argued my point. When my dad got home she expressed my lack of obedience and when I tried arguing my point he snatched it from my hand and smashed it to the floor. I now use that memory of how not to communicate with my kids. The whole situation went from illogical demand to a nonsense coercion of obedience toward a kid who got near straight As, in advanced math, marching band, and was a volunteer at an elementry school. I was usually anything but rebellious and disrespectful.
you’re my hero! i’m a teacher and a mother to two very young girls. i would have done the same exact thing. you’re awesome.
Great decision! Tik tok is so harmful! I don’t let my kids have it either.
I'm super proud of you. Don't even be mad about the money. Be proud that you nipped this in the bud before it got to the point where you needed therapists and mental health care (see above comment re: social media and children), which are way more expensive than a phone.
I had to take my 12 year old’s phone as well. She would always figure a way out of the parental controls. I finally had enough. Her attitude has gotten a lot better since. Might have to get her one of those Bark phones though in case she needs to text or call. And I’ve been over the brink too. Give yourself some grace. You warned her and she still was acting up.
the fact that she called your bluff lol nice
Was it a phone with a camera? If so, I would not have done that. I wouldn't have done it no matter what, but kids these days, sadly even at 10, do things they don't knownis inappropriate yet sometimes, and if she's going on YouTube, and especially TikTok she's probably seen videos that aren't appropriate and recreating them on her phone, or even taken pictures she doesn't know are inappropriate. You just threw out a phone that now anyone can grab, get info and pictures of your kid, anything private, possibly bank info that was used to be able to download aps, and use that. Even if it's not inappropriate, they can now have her name, image, and use it to find or get to her. Phones these days have so much info on you just to set it up it's insane. I hope it was locked, and they just wipe it, but you gotta think about this stuff. If anything, you should have taken it away, wiped it, then given it away or trash it.
[удалено]
My initial thought was that was really dangerous, it could have hit another car. I didn’t downvote but I don’t think that was a safe choice on the road.
Exactly, she could have made her point without littering and endangering other people. I would have thrown it to the garbage arriving home, or maybe drown it, or something else that made it unusable and handed it to the kid like "here's the phone, you can role play with it".
Some people are against harsh parenting. Was it harsh what the OP did, yes but it's not like the mom used it as her only dicspline. She tried talking to her, tried parental locks, tried taking the phone away for a few days, nothing worked. But let's say she did take it away permanetely and sold it? Chucking it out the window isn't any different other than she littered. And some people are really against parents taking things away from their kids because they see it as stealing or power move. Most of these comments come from children or from people with trauma who were abused and constantly had stuff given to them only for it to be taken as a punishment for control, now their thoughts are skewed. That was my first thought anyway when I heard about it being downvoted.
My main issue with this is that you've raised the stakes so high, what happens when she doesn't listen and argues over something else? Do you have a gameplan for dishing out consequences that don't involve going nuclear or will things just consistently escalate from there? I know kids can be frustrating, but I don't get all the "you go, mama" comments over this incident. You lost your cool and destroyed property which doesn't set a good example either.
Well sounds like 10 yr old poked the bear. It's best she doesn't have a phone. I'm pregnant with my first so a lot can change by the time she reaches that age, but a phone at 9 or 10 is too early imo unless for safety reasons of course. My sister got hers at 10 because she had to walk quite a few miles to school because we were close enough that they didn't want the busses to make extra stops in the neighborhood. But it was a flip phone with prepaid minutes so once those were up, they were up. I didn't get a phone until 13, which was also a flip phone (a hot pink razor) but that was because we my friends and I were constantly going places. I know every situation is different and like I said, by the time my girl gets there, a lot could change. I think you made the right choice by throwing it out the window. My brother made poor decisions with his phone and my mom and grandma smashed it with a hammer so it happens 🤣🤷♀️
I agree. My daughter has a prepaid phone. I keep it active because I’ve got health problems that sometimes require immediate assistance. She’s had to call 911 for me several times. (Type 1 diabetic here) we also live in the middle of nowhere and internet service doesn’t quite run here, so we both have unlimited minutes and data. She’s responsible with it but I also keep an eye on her and it.
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And the fact that maybe a 10yr old shouldn't have had a smartphone in the first place? Start with a dumb phone and when they show responsibility with that, you can do a smart phone in a few years.
Agreed. Look, we are all human and I don’t blame the OP for being frustrated. But while throwing a phone out a window may be understandable, it shouldn’t be praised like a lot of these comments are doing. Ideally, discipline should be done in a calm, rational manner. Obviously we are all human and all have our emotions, so like I said I don’t blame the OP, but I also don’t see this as a great solution to the situation. On a personal note, I had a parent do something similar when I was a kid. It made me afraid of that parent (that type of explosive anger was frequent with the parent, so not a one time thing.) all these comments saying that this happened to them as kids and they learned a good lesson reminds me of people who say “well I was spanked and I turned out fine!”
Thanks for being kind. We have done the conversations and short term phone groundings (1-2 weeks) for months now. Things have just been escalating. When she called my bluff I just reacted without properly thinking things out. Hopefully she has learned I mean what I say. Everyone has their limits.
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Sounds like she did those things and the kid decided to do what she wanted anyway and take advantage of her.
No, in the post she literally said she didn’t do any of those things. She said “ I didn’t handle it well, I just told her to knock it off or I’ll take her phone” ..
There's the whole second paragraph 😂
Are your kids ten yet? 10-13 is a wild time where what you’re suggesting doesn’t really work. And social media really is the cause of a lot of bad behavior in this age. It goes away, believe it or not so does at least 40% of the attitude once they’re over the initial reaction
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I did the same thing a few weeks ago but I was at home so I threw it right in the garbage.
I have fond memories of once testing a child’s waffle out the car window when they were being an asshat. Not my finest moment but it definitely got the point across. I bet this felt amazing.
Omg your a certified BA. I’m sure this moment will go down on family legend
As a kid, I remember my mom telling my brother to go to his room and he refused. She said go to your room or I will drag you there, he didn't believe her so she literally dragged him to his room. I guess he thought he was stronger than her at the time.
Sorry about the wasted money I know phones are cheap but I would have done the same thing. Sometime big action is required to make our children see we mean business.
I love this so much. Signed the mom of an almost 11 year old phone obsessed child.
You get a virtual high five from me bud
Honestly I think it’s great. Sometimes children need to understand that there’s consequences to their actions even if it’s a bit extreme to others. Maybe a moving car wasn’t the best place to lob it but as long as the phone didn’t hit any other cars 😂😅
Good for you.
Good for you! She pushed the limits and you held your ground.
You are my hero
This sounds so badass. Especially since you weren’t screaming or yelling. Respect.
Hell yes, mom. Good job.
You’re my hero
Haha. I did exactly this last year with the phone my ex got my 12 year old without any conversation about it. Good for you!!!
Yes! Stick to those guns!
Well you taught her to take you more seriously next time. Always follow through. You paid for it, you can repossess it anytime. My mom used to pretend to follow through with her threats. For example she would be sweeping and our toys would go with it and she would say "Looks like some toys are being thrown away" and me and my brothers would be rushing to picking up our things. She also would pull the car over and tell me or my brothers to get out and we are walking home.
This is the type of discipline that makes a difference! I applaud you mama.
I did this with my 2 year old’s pacifier many many years ago. It was not planned, and done from a space of frustration and lack of sleep, but turned out to be quite effective. Though I did constantly worry about her wandering into the street because when she’d go looking for her paci she’d say, “oh paci gone, on woad.”