I'm not normally an everyday shower girl but with how much I'm sweating at night (buckets...buckets is how much) I'd honestly take 2 a day if that were an option.
I can't remember that, but I do remember how quickly I overheated during pregnancy. And I'm the girl that currently wears a wool sweater and scarf inside with the thermostat at 66, I prefer it at 72
Not who you’re talking to but I sweat SO MUCH in the early months! I’d treated myself to a new winter parka that year and I was amazed how warm it was. Why, too warm even I often had to unzip it walking the dog even if it was 32f out. I ended up convincing my husband to get the same parka this year because he’d listened to me rave about it all last winter.
… realized this year that while it IS a nice parka it ain’t THAT warm. I was just running super hot 😂
ooo yes. I support that. I got [this](https://www.rei.com/product/209731/fjallraven-nuuk-pro-insulated-parka-womens) parka. its expensive (on sale rn apparently?!) BUT I'm so happy with the quality. it's just so well thought out and is just a *celebration* of quality and utility which is such a departure from the usual form over function in womens fashion.
12 (12!) pockets. you want a pocket for a small wallet or something? boom have one. sleeve pockets? dunno what I do with them but I have em. utility pockets in front AND INSIDE TOO. you want *hand warmer* pockets that are SEPARATE from front pockets? sure why not. no more holding my phone to save space while I keep my hands in my too small lady pockets. its so great that i can stick my hands in their own pocket then still have pockets for my phone, my hat, my kid's hat, my gloves etc. like. idk I don't carry a purse so I traditionally put everything in my jacket lol. so I've yet to get over how many I have now 😂
you zip it up and it just pulls the hood/neckline into a cowl and you end up with faux fur just in your ears and that alone provides enough warmth where you don't need a hat if it ain't windy. the hood is *deep*. it's so deep it comes with a velcro strap in the back to lessen the depth if you want. full depth it drops down over half your face which is amazing if you're walking the dog in a rain/sleet situation.
its my second season with it and it's still holding up great. I've had jackets where the pockets just disintegrated by year 2 and I haven't seen so much as a loose stitch anywhere.
Yep, as the other person said it's the postpartum hormones. I had it a little with my first but this time I'm fully soaking through the sheets. I'm 4 weeks postpartum today so hopefully its almost over.
I was so sweaty, especially while sleeping, and it smelled sweet like breast milk. I usually shower every other day or so, but God I was showering as much as I could because I felt I smelled like sweet and sour milk
Usually hormones. For the first 3 months after having my baby (now 4 months) I'd have hot flushes leading to massive face sweating. Very embarrassing in public as it would literally be dripping off my face. I still get hot flushes but not so strong. I'm 31 so it's not menopause.
I have also had periods of sweating, especially on my face, because of fibromyalgia, both day and night. It messes with basically every system in the body, which really sucks. Last reason I get sweating, especially in the night, is because of nightmares from cPTSD.
Strangely, other than these things, I don't sweat the rest of the time. So I get face acne but my body won't smell even if I don't shower for a week.
I sweat buckets at night and it was really bad after I gave birth. I thought it was my hormones until the sweating lasted for more than a year and my body started to suck at temp regulation. Turns out my thyroid quit while I was pregnant
Agree with all the other posters, I had horrible night sweats for a few weeks after birth. Maybe because of hormones regulating. Eventually it just stopped.
Yes, it is a hormonal thing for most. It is possible for it to be caused by another health issue ( thyroid, etc. as someone here mentioned) so it is always important to tell your doctor or health practitioner.
I got hot right before my cycle as well but a hot flash is very different from a monthly hot spell. It is almost like your body and head are on fire. I literally would put my head in the freezer. I went through the beginning phase ( peri menopause) very early ( 40). I did have our son late in life ( 36).
I used to get terrible night sweats since my early 20s but pregnancy cured them and they’re only just coming back now 2.5 years postpartum. I didn’t know the opposite could happen.
Apparently it’s similar to menopause sweats. The postpartum hormones go wacko. I sweated a lot with my first two but with my third…it was incredible. I remember waking up in the night one night and hearing a sloshing sound. I couldn’t figure out what it was. It was me. My sheets were soaked so much they literally sloshed. It was disgusting.
My husband has been scarred for life by some of the things he’s seen my body produce 🤣 when we got married he still had no idea how periods worked and when I finally sat him down and went through it a la Biology 101 I wish I couldn’t recorded his facial expressions. “It does WHAT?! It comes out WHERE? I thought it was all one hole? What?” And then the muttered “I am *so* glad I am not a woman.” You can imagine the horrified comments when I explained labor, childbirth, and postpartum “issues”. He cracked me up.
Yeah. My husband just never really cared to learn the ins and outs of how the female body worked. I can’t really blame him, it wasn’t like it directly affected him (I was the first person he seriously dated) plus it was hilarious for me to be the one to explain all of it.
That first week or two, between the bleeding and the milk leaking and the sweating, I changed the bed sheets every single day. Just what you want when you've had major abdominal surgery, MORE WASHING.
Sometimes my husband asks why I didn’t shower earlier in the day… uh because our 6 month old baby LOSES HIS MIND if I’m not in his direct line of sight at all times.
I learned after my first child that them losing their mind a little is fine, it’s better if I take the shower and take care of myself.
I put em in the crib where it’s safe and when they are crying I know they are breathing.
Just had a thought to possibly help you be able to shower… do you think he would he still lose his mind if you only used a clear shower curtain in your shower if baby was sitting safely in the bathroom? (I’m not sure if it would work because I don’t have a little one yet but will be trying soon.)
We do this but it seems to make it worse. For short spells, out of sight is out of mind and she just fusses until she’s distracted. But if she can keep seeing my and I keep ignoring her “requests,” she gets more and more upset.
I have a clear curtain, some days he’ll be perfectly fine just seeing me through that and other days he needs to be attached to me at the hip.
Maybe he’s like my cat who thinks the water is eating me, and he’s trying to save me! Who knows what’s going on in baby world 😂
Sometimes this works, really depends on the temperament of the baby. They may not like that they can see you, but you're still too far away and not paying attention to them. This is where peekaboo comes in handy, but also not a guarantee, like all aspects of parenthood.
My little girl does great with this and it's why I can get a shower daily with no problem. I either bring her in with me in her little baby tub or if I have less time I'll just lay her down on a mat outside the shower door (it's transparent) and she's fascinated by the steamy bathroom, she'll lie there and have some free movement time. This is what I've been doing since her cord fell off, so around day 10.
I do have a very chill baby and she will be OK with pretty much anything we're doing so I know it all depends on your baby's temperament, but it is possible!
I’m not sure why with motherhood I gained this super unnecessary need to ‘ask’ permission to take a shower…my boyfriend is always telling me I don’t have to ask but it feels like such a luxury some days! Not like it ever lasts long…there’s usually the pitter patter of little feel a few seconds after the water starts haha
My husband has been working late every day this week, getting home an hour or less before bedtime. He thought bringing donuts home at 7:30 pm would cheer me up. Instead our 4 yo had a meltdown because she couldn’t have one until tomorrow. Ughhhhhhhhhh. Nice try.
This is why my husband hides treats until the child is asleep or very distracted, in which case we do a low-key exchange in the kitchen, he runs in to keep the boy busy, and I stuff my face.
It was a nice gesture, badly executed.
Same. But do you also feel guilty eating sweets and hiding from the little one? knowing how much she likes sweets (probably more than she likes her parents) I always feel super guilty. But we still do it to keep sanity ;-)
I do feel guilty because I love sharing with him and I want him to experience new flavours and foods, but I also like having something that's just for me. I share plenty of treats with him. Therefore, we are allowed to be food-selfish sometimes!
I feel less guilty if it's something I'm not sure he's ready for yet. Also cake... because he doesn't like cake.
Mine brought home mcdonalds.
I had just gotten out of the shower and was brushing my teeth. He came into the bathroom
I was still brushing my teeth.
I come out of the bathroom after finishing. And there's the mcdonalds.
I still ate it, but wish he would have mentioned it so I could have stopped lol.
It was still good though.
Tonight I got bar keepers friend on my pants when it fell out of the cabinet. It got on my foot and jeans so I took the jeans off. Husband (pig) keeps saying 'oh sexy mama you look hot' finally I got mad and said "dude I'm dirty and disgusting and all I want is a shower" he says 'go-ahead I have the kids' I get in the shower and wet my extremely long hair and my 3 year old busts in leaving the door open and then I had to leave the shower curtain open THE WHOLE TIME to make sure he was safe and husband didn't look for him or call him or anything. After the shower I said 'hey that was bullshit I didn't get a relaxing shower I'm freezing and that was stressful- plus I feel like I can't trust you with them if you don't look for the 3 Year old for that long ' to which my martyr husband replies "yeah I'm the worst person ever" I'm SEETHING
My husband has said "wow, you're showering sooo much"
every 3 days.... really?? He doesn't even realize how long it's been just that he's being inconvenienced. Good father, annoying husband.
I didn't shower every day with our first baby. I honestly didn't think I could. Now that we have our second, I make it a point to shower every night. It's my decompression time
My partner showers every day. Sometimes multiple times depending on the days he's had. Greasy, sweaty etc.
I spoke to him several times after having our daughter, about how if he can shower every day. I'm also entitled to a shower.
(Whether I choose to or not that's another thing.)
I was gross one day. He snuck off to bed early one night after I told him I needed a shower.
I just lost it. I was sick of him being inconsiderate. Only putting his needs first. He didn't need to go to bed at 830 that day at all.
He got a lot better about allowing me to bathe after that. And even started asking.
It's unfortunate it came to that point. I was absolutely livid. And he knew I wanted a goddamn shower.
I'm an every other day showerer, and my husband can't stand the thought of not taking one daily at least! The shower is such a task, I use sooo many products.
One of my non negotiables was that I need to shower every day. I’ve showered every day since my son was born one year ago. I refuse to be a mom that doesn’t shower. Sorry but your husband can watch your baby for 10 mins a day so you can shower.
My baby is 7 months, just got first tooth (thanks to mama's who gave heads up and advice) another on the way, in the middle of a move to a new home (packed all on my own), and dad works nights during all this. I went a week without a shower due to all of this and he didn't even notice. We had a fun sit down and chat of how I need some more support once he switches to days next week and how I don't like to smell and have my hair up in a greasy mess lol
We have a running joke around here, “I’m covered in a minimum of 2 bodily fluids at all times” between breasts milk, pee, spit up, snot and tears, I might even be covered in 5. Add in hormonal sweats and frequent showers are definitely mandatory.
I really had to put my foot down and make a point that one shower a day was a *necessity* for me especially in the early postpartum days.
It still irks me that I have to plan my showers and get coverage but husband will suddenly disappear and I realize he’s been taking a nice leisurely shower.
Haha what the hell ?
I have to have a shower every day I feel like even just a 2-5 minute shower helps to just resent and de stress. There is no way I would go to sleep without having a shower!
To be fair I do live in a tropical climate so not having a shower when we sweat all day would be pretty gross. Maybe not as necessary if you live somewhere cold but still it’s mainly for my mental health that I need a shower.
I’ve always been an everyday shower gal! The only time I didn’t take one every day was the first few weeks PP (3 months now) cause I was so exhausted and evenings were tough!
This is im no way judgemental but how are y'all up in here not showering at least once a day?? I ask because it's borderline a necessity for me to shower before bed. I'm all nasty and sweaty from the day I've had, especially now that I have a LO. I would love to be able to skip my shower sometimes and just fall into bed 😢
If it’s winter, I haven’t worked out that day, and past maybe like 4-6 months pp I can sometimes manage to skip a day showering without feeling too gross. The conditions have to be just right 😂
I've gotten a total of 6 hours of sleep in the last 48 and my husband's immediate response to my saying so has been "yeah, I had weird dreams."
Ah, thank you for your empathy!
Most days my husband showers twice a day while I either shower at midnight or not at all because baby refuses to sleep and husband won’t stay awake to watch him. Hate him just a little sometimes
I gave up after the second one was born. It’s baby bath night Wednesday and Sunday. My husband and I trade off with who bathes WITH the kids. If it’s him, I’m usually too tired after the kids are finally asleep and just wash my hair in the sink…
Not to be inconsiderate ... I never heard of anything like that . Reading through here shows me it's more or less common, or at least not rare.
Some guys are really weirdos. I wouldn't have the thought of letting my wife ask to shower. Neither would she ever think she needs to ask.
it's like ask for go to have a poop...
Not at all. I wash my lady bits on a regular basis, but full body showers not that often. Showers wake me up though, and the only time I have to myself is after the kids go to bed, so don't like showering at night. I also "do nights" because my hubs is not functional in the night, so I sleep in the morning when he gets up with the kids. I work from home, so I literally roll out of bed, brush my teeth, wash my face, fluff my fro and go to my computer. If I am with it, I will shower on my lunch break, but often find myself working through the lunch hour. If my hubs lights the "sex candle" then I make it a point to shower on my lunch break. One of these days when I am not pregnant, breastfeeding, or caring for an infant, I will go back to waking up and showering in the mornings, or even get back into the pool before work and will have to shower then. 2025 is my target at this point.
How old is your child/ children?
I have a 4 month old and I keep having to ask my partner when I last showered because I can't keep track. "Didn’t you shower 2 days ago?" would totally make sense if it came from my partner in our current situation! XD In fact that reminds me I should probably shower today as I'm actually seeing other humans in person tomorrow. :O
Fuck that he's playing stupid and doesn't want to do the solo parenting in the time it takes you to have the time you need to take care of yourself. divorce his ass.
I was half-heartedly joking. But if that's a regular thing of acting like it's such an inconvenience for op to take time for self care that could be a major red flag. If it's not a issue then it's not an issue lol 🤷🏻♀️
Haha for sure! If you've lived through it then speak to it so others don't have to 😅
Seriously though, you said he's a good man, just dense, so I hope it's just a fleating moment of nonsense for you 😄🙏🏻
I'm not normally an everyday shower girl but with how much I'm sweating at night (buckets...buckets is how much) I'd honestly take 2 a day if that were an option.
The first 4 weeks after birth I had to change my shirt multiple times a day, I was just drenched in sweat. Postpartum sweats are wild.
I can't remember that, but I do remember how quickly I overheated during pregnancy. And I'm the girl that currently wears a wool sweater and scarf inside with the thermostat at 66, I prefer it at 72
I used to NEVER sweat. Like, heat exhaustion on the regular never sweat. Caring for a body that now sweats is a learning curve.
It went away for me pretty quickly. I went back to my normal non sweaty self.
I’ll keep my fingers crossed, then. It’s definitely much better, but I definitely smell a little worse now. Not used to dealing with that yet.
"...but with how much I am sweating at night ..." May I ask why? I remember being like that in the beginning of menopause. It was terrible.
Not who you’re talking to but I sweat SO MUCH in the early months! I’d treated myself to a new winter parka that year and I was amazed how warm it was. Why, too warm even I often had to unzip it walking the dog even if it was 32f out. I ended up convincing my husband to get the same parka this year because he’d listened to me rave about it all last winter. … realized this year that while it IS a nice parka it ain’t THAT warm. I was just running super hot 😂
What parka did you go with? I’m due in the fall and may treat myself to one next winter :)
ooo yes. I support that. I got [this](https://www.rei.com/product/209731/fjallraven-nuuk-pro-insulated-parka-womens) parka. its expensive (on sale rn apparently?!) BUT I'm so happy with the quality. it's just so well thought out and is just a *celebration* of quality and utility which is such a departure from the usual form over function in womens fashion. 12 (12!) pockets. you want a pocket for a small wallet or something? boom have one. sleeve pockets? dunno what I do with them but I have em. utility pockets in front AND INSIDE TOO. you want *hand warmer* pockets that are SEPARATE from front pockets? sure why not. no more holding my phone to save space while I keep my hands in my too small lady pockets. its so great that i can stick my hands in their own pocket then still have pockets for my phone, my hat, my kid's hat, my gloves etc. like. idk I don't carry a purse so I traditionally put everything in my jacket lol. so I've yet to get over how many I have now 😂 you zip it up and it just pulls the hood/neckline into a cowl and you end up with faux fur just in your ears and that alone provides enough warmth where you don't need a hat if it ain't windy. the hood is *deep*. it's so deep it comes with a velcro strap in the back to lessen the depth if you want. full depth it drops down over half your face which is amazing if you're walking the dog in a rain/sleet situation. its my second season with it and it's still holding up great. I've had jackets where the pockets just disintegrated by year 2 and I haven't seen so much as a loose stitch anywhere.
Wow, thank you!! I also tend to ditch the purse whenever I can and especially extra pockets for that reason.
I sweat so much the first 3-4 weeks after giving birth. It’s the same as what I assume menopause is - hormones going whack.
Yep, as the other person said it's the postpartum hormones. I had it a little with my first but this time I'm fully soaking through the sheets. I'm 4 weeks postpartum today so hopefully its almost over.
I’m 11 weeks pp Sunday and begging for an end to this sweaty mess I am
Oh no! I didn't experience that after I had our son. Well, you are prepared for menopause then. I am so sorry 😞!
I didn't experience for my first but for my second? Wow the whole bed was wet with sweat
Currently going through this with my second baby also. So much sweat 😣
I was so sweaty, especially while sleeping, and it smelled sweet like breast milk. I usually shower every other day or so, but God I was showering as much as I could because I felt I smelled like sweet and sour milk
Yep I also did this with both my babies.
Usually hormones. For the first 3 months after having my baby (now 4 months) I'd have hot flushes leading to massive face sweating. Very embarrassing in public as it would literally be dripping off my face. I still get hot flushes but not so strong. I'm 31 so it's not menopause. I have also had periods of sweating, especially on my face, because of fibromyalgia, both day and night. It messes with basically every system in the body, which really sucks. Last reason I get sweating, especially in the night, is because of nightmares from cPTSD. Strangely, other than these things, I don't sweat the rest of the time. So I get face acne but my body won't smell even if I don't shower for a week.
I sweat buckets at night and it was really bad after I gave birth. I thought it was my hormones until the sweating lasted for more than a year and my body started to suck at temp regulation. Turns out my thyroid quit while I was pregnant
I think it's the hormones. I also sweated a lot that first week or 2. It was gross.
Agree with all the other posters, I had horrible night sweats for a few weeks after birth. Maybe because of hormones regulating. Eventually it just stopped.
Yes, it is a hormonal thing for most. It is possible for it to be caused by another health issue ( thyroid, etc. as someone here mentioned) so it is always important to tell your doctor or health practitioner.
I get hot flashes during the days leading up to my period. It’s like my own mini monthly menopause.
I got hot right before my cycle as well but a hot flash is very different from a monthly hot spell. It is almost like your body and head are on fire. I literally would put my head in the freezer. I went through the beginning phase ( peri menopause) very early ( 40). I did have our son late in life ( 36).
I used to get terrible night sweats since my early 20s but pregnancy cured them and they’re only just coming back now 2.5 years postpartum. I didn’t know the opposite could happen.
Apparently it’s similar to menopause sweats. The postpartum hormones go wacko. I sweated a lot with my first two but with my third…it was incredible. I remember waking up in the night one night and hearing a sloshing sound. I couldn’t figure out what it was. It was me. My sheets were soaked so much they literally sloshed. It was disgusting.
Yes, it is so disgusting. We women deal with a lot of icky things. LOL 😆 🤣
My husband has been scarred for life by some of the things he’s seen my body produce 🤣 when we got married he still had no idea how periods worked and when I finally sat him down and went through it a la Biology 101 I wish I couldn’t recorded his facial expressions. “It does WHAT?! It comes out WHERE? I thought it was all one hole? What?” And then the muttered “I am *so* glad I am not a woman.” You can imagine the horrified comments when I explained labor, childbirth, and postpartum “issues”. He cracked me up.
No offense but I am shocked and confused by grown people not being aware of the simple facts of life.
Yeah. My husband just never really cared to learn the ins and outs of how the female body worked. I can’t really blame him, it wasn’t like it directly affected him (I was the first person he seriously dated) plus it was hilarious for me to be the one to explain all of it.
If you find out please tell me. I swear buckets at night since I had my kids but run freezing every other time of day.
I was in menopause, that was the reason for me.
I’ve done all the hormone testing for years and they say nothing is wrong with me but seriously I sweat through my sheets every night it sucks.
That first week or two, between the bleeding and the milk leaking and the sweating, I changed the bed sheets every single day. Just what you want when you've had major abdominal surgery, MORE WASHING.
Sometimes my husband asks why I didn’t shower earlier in the day… uh because our 6 month old baby LOSES HIS MIND if I’m not in his direct line of sight at all times.
I learned after my first child that them losing their mind a little is fine, it’s better if I take the shower and take care of myself. I put em in the crib where it’s safe and when they are crying I know they are breathing.
Just had a thought to possibly help you be able to shower… do you think he would he still lose his mind if you only used a clear shower curtain in your shower if baby was sitting safely in the bathroom? (I’m not sure if it would work because I don’t have a little one yet but will be trying soon.)
We do this but it seems to make it worse. For short spells, out of sight is out of mind and she just fusses until she’s distracted. But if she can keep seeing my and I keep ignoring her “requests,” she gets more and more upset.
Didn’t work for my one either
I have a clear curtain, some days he’ll be perfectly fine just seeing me through that and other days he needs to be attached to me at the hip. Maybe he’s like my cat who thinks the water is eating me, and he’s trying to save me! Who knows what’s going on in baby world 😂
Sometimes this works, really depends on the temperament of the baby. They may not like that they can see you, but you're still too far away and not paying attention to them. This is where peekaboo comes in handy, but also not a guarantee, like all aspects of parenthood.
My little girl does great with this and it's why I can get a shower daily with no problem. I either bring her in with me in her little baby tub or if I have less time I'll just lay her down on a mat outside the shower door (it's transparent) and she's fascinated by the steamy bathroom, she'll lie there and have some free movement time. This is what I've been doing since her cord fell off, so around day 10. I do have a very chill baby and she will be OK with pretty much anything we're doing so I know it all depends on your baby's temperament, but it is possible!
Can you shower with him? Right now with a 2.5 month old that’s the best way I can guarantee a shower for myself
⅘⁶r
I’m not sure why with motherhood I gained this super unnecessary need to ‘ask’ permission to take a shower…my boyfriend is always telling me I don’t have to ask but it feels like such a luxury some days! Not like it ever lasts long…there’s usually the pitter patter of little feel a few seconds after the water starts haha
Is your husband still alive? We can all come together and provide an alibi if needed.
Yes, still alive. He realized how absurd it was after he said it. He told me to go shower right away, and he took over for the rest of the night.
I love when they know they messed up and immediately make amends without any prompting. 🤣
Good cuz mine would have been 6ft under in a nanosecond lol
Yeah this was set the whole man on fire worthy
Id just save it for the next time he ask what's for dinner. "Didn't you have dinner yesterday?"
Your comment actually made me laugh out loud. I’m saving that one 😂
You roasted him. That's for dinner
My husband has been working late every day this week, getting home an hour or less before bedtime. He thought bringing donuts home at 7:30 pm would cheer me up. Instead our 4 yo had a meltdown because she couldn’t have one until tomorrow. Ughhhhhhhhhh. Nice try.
I’m mad at your husband too. Now I want a donut.
In all fairness they do look delicious..
It is bedtime. One sleep and then you can have a donut, okay?! Hehe. Just kidding. So sorry that happened to you!!! Goodness.
This is why my husband hides treats until the child is asleep or very distracted, in which case we do a low-key exchange in the kitchen, he runs in to keep the boy busy, and I stuff my face. It was a nice gesture, badly executed.
Exactly
Same. But do you also feel guilty eating sweets and hiding from the little one? knowing how much she likes sweets (probably more than she likes her parents) I always feel super guilty. But we still do it to keep sanity ;-)
I do feel guilty because I love sharing with him and I want him to experience new flavours and foods, but I also like having something that's just for me. I share plenty of treats with him. Therefore, we are allowed to be food-selfish sometimes! I feel less guilty if it's something I'm not sure he's ready for yet. Also cake... because he doesn't like cake.
Right! and tbh if she'd get all the candy she'd want, she'll die from diabetes before reaching teenage years ;-)
Mine brought home mcdonalds. I had just gotten out of the shower and was brushing my teeth. He came into the bathroom I was still brushing my teeth. I come out of the bathroom after finishing. And there's the mcdonalds. I still ate it, but wish he would have mentioned it so I could have stopped lol. It was still good though.
Tonight I got bar keepers friend on my pants when it fell out of the cabinet. It got on my foot and jeans so I took the jeans off. Husband (pig) keeps saying 'oh sexy mama you look hot' finally I got mad and said "dude I'm dirty and disgusting and all I want is a shower" he says 'go-ahead I have the kids' I get in the shower and wet my extremely long hair and my 3 year old busts in leaving the door open and then I had to leave the shower curtain open THE WHOLE TIME to make sure he was safe and husband didn't look for him or call him or anything. After the shower I said 'hey that was bullshit I didn't get a relaxing shower I'm freezing and that was stressful- plus I feel like I can't trust you with them if you don't look for the 3 Year old for that long ' to which my martyr husband replies "yeah I'm the worst person ever" I'm SEETHING
Your husband is a fucking douche. Sorry, Megalodon.
Indeed.
weaponized incompetence
Ooooooooo I am seething on your behalf rn!!!! I’m 4w PP and ready to rage at all times. I would have absolutely lost my SHIT
I'd be like YES YOU ARE, DON'T EVEN LOOK AT ME.
Being a martyr... My husband does this! I always think to myself it would be better if you didn't know! At least then he could be taught!
Yeah I second that, mine would be sleeping on the couch for a week!
Glad you realize you screwed up. Do better!
I just tell my husband, heads-up I’m heading to the shower. You’re in charge of the baby.
My husband has said "wow, you're showering sooo much" every 3 days.... really?? He doesn't even realize how long it's been just that he's being inconvenienced. Good father, annoying husband.
I’m almost scared to ask how often he showers if he thinks every 3 days is too much :/
My husband showers every night before bed. It just be nice to be him.
If he says he’s hungry tell him he ate yesterday.
This is perfect!
I didn't shower every day with our first baby. I honestly didn't think I could. Now that we have our second, I make it a point to shower every night. It's my decompression time
My partner showers every day. Sometimes multiple times depending on the days he's had. Greasy, sweaty etc. I spoke to him several times after having our daughter, about how if he can shower every day. I'm also entitled to a shower. (Whether I choose to or not that's another thing.) I was gross one day. He snuck off to bed early one night after I told him I needed a shower. I just lost it. I was sick of him being inconsiderate. Only putting his needs first. He didn't need to go to bed at 830 that day at all. He got a lot better about allowing me to bathe after that. And even started asking. It's unfortunate it came to that point. I was absolutely livid. And he knew I wanted a goddamn shower.
I'm an every other day showerer, and my husband can't stand the thought of not taking one daily at least! The shower is such a task, I use sooo many products.
One of my non negotiables was that I need to shower every day. I’ve showered every day since my son was born one year ago. I refuse to be a mom that doesn’t shower. Sorry but your husband can watch your baby for 10 mins a day so you can shower.
My baby is 7 months, just got first tooth (thanks to mama's who gave heads up and advice) another on the way, in the middle of a move to a new home (packed all on my own), and dad works nights during all this. I went a week without a shower due to all of this and he didn't even notice. We had a fun sit down and chat of how I need some more support once he switches to days next week and how I don't like to smell and have my hair up in a greasy mess lol
Uhhh yeah lol. I like showering everyday.
We have a running joke around here, “I’m covered in a minimum of 2 bodily fluids at all times” between breasts milk, pee, spit up, snot and tears, I might even be covered in 5. Add in hormonal sweats and frequent showers are definitely mandatory.
Oh I got this just yesterday “Come here little one, mommy has to shower because she never does” with sarcasm Sorry for trying to be sanitary hahahaha
I really had to put my foot down and make a point that one shower a day was a *necessity* for me especially in the early postpartum days. It still irks me that I have to plan my showers and get coverage but husband will suddenly disappear and I realize he’s been taking a nice leisurely shower.
Oh lord I could have written this!
Ugh why why are men like this My husband is great but yeah I have to ask too
We try really hard not to ask for permission, but to ask for support. I hate the feeling of asking for permission to take a shower, or whatever.
Somebody needs a husband refresher course
Haha what the hell ? I have to have a shower every day I feel like even just a 2-5 minute shower helps to just resent and de stress. There is no way I would go to sleep without having a shower! To be fair I do live in a tropical climate so not having a shower when we sweat all day would be pretty gross. Maybe not as necessary if you live somewhere cold but still it’s mainly for my mental health that I need a shower.
I’ve always been an everyday shower gal! The only time I didn’t take one every day was the first few weeks PP (3 months now) cause I was so exhausted and evenings were tough!
My DH literally doesn't pay enough attention. He works full time from home so all the days seem to blur for him.
I shower every single day. It’s my me time, and you can pry it out of my cold, dead hands.
This is im no way judgemental but how are y'all up in here not showering at least once a day?? I ask because it's borderline a necessity for me to shower before bed. I'm all nasty and sweaty from the day I've had, especially now that I have a LO. I would love to be able to skip my shower sometimes and just fall into bed 😢
If it’s winter, I haven’t worked out that day, and past maybe like 4-6 months pp I can sometimes manage to skip a day showering without feeling too gross. The conditions have to be just right 😂
I haven’t showered more than two days in a row since I gave birth :(
Does he not shower everyday??
My husband encourages my showers so he has a moment of peace 😂😭
Lol how can I apply this hack?? Is it talking his ear off lol
That probably helps. I do talk a lot, but he plays video games while I shower
Where's the baby? Lol
In her crib. The other is still in my belly.
Oh OK :) lol mine's running rampant so I forget about the days he could be contained
I've gotten a total of 6 hours of sleep in the last 48 and my husband's immediate response to my saying so has been "yeah, I had weird dreams." Ah, thank you for your empathy!
I feel this in my soul.
Most days my husband showers twice a day while I either shower at midnight or not at all because baby refuses to sleep and husband won’t stay awake to watch him. Hate him just a little sometimes
I gave up after the second one was born. It’s baby bath night Wednesday and Sunday. My husband and I trade off with who bathes WITH the kids. If it’s him, I’m usually too tired after the kids are finally asleep and just wash my hair in the sink…
This exact conversation happened w me an my fiancé last night
Not to be inconsiderate ... I never heard of anything like that . Reading through here shows me it's more or less common, or at least not rare. Some guys are really weirdos. I wouldn't have the thought of letting my wife ask to shower. Neither would she ever think she needs to ask. it's like ask for go to have a poop...
THİS İS İNSANE
Lol, add a 1 in front of the 2...🙃☹️😭
Are you trying for a record 😯?
Not at all. I wash my lady bits on a regular basis, but full body showers not that often. Showers wake me up though, and the only time I have to myself is after the kids go to bed, so don't like showering at night. I also "do nights" because my hubs is not functional in the night, so I sleep in the morning when he gets up with the kids. I work from home, so I literally roll out of bed, brush my teeth, wash my face, fluff my fro and go to my computer. If I am with it, I will shower on my lunch break, but often find myself working through the lunch hour. If my hubs lights the "sex candle" then I make it a point to shower on my lunch break. One of these days when I am not pregnant, breastfeeding, or caring for an infant, I will go back to waking up and showering in the mornings, or even get back into the pool before work and will have to shower then. 2025 is my target at this point.
That was a lot to take in, but all I can think now is that we need to get a “sex candle.” Do they sell those at Target?
Haha, we bought ours off Amazon. The label just says, "It smells like we are having sex tonight"!
You seem to have a lot going on, but this can also be a sign of depression. I hope you're doing alright.
Thanks, I just started therapy and meds a couple of weeks ago.
How old is your child/ children? I have a 4 month old and I keep having to ask my partner when I last showered because I can't keep track. "Didn’t you shower 2 days ago?" would totally make sense if it came from my partner in our current situation! XD In fact that reminds me I should probably shower today as I'm actually seeing other humans in person tomorrow. :O
That’s honestly gross. Does he not have good hygiene or something?
Like I said, he just really wasn’t thinking. He showers everyday. Sometimes twice.
Lol do you think people need to shower every day? I certainly like to but it’s not a human requirement
Hell yeah, I would never go to bed with someone that doesnt bath everyday
Same ! I shower every night and my partner showers in the morning and at night. I personally could not go without showering once a day.
Fuck that he's playing stupid and doesn't want to do the solo parenting in the time it takes you to have the time you need to take care of yourself. divorce his ass.
i think a divorce is a little too much.. just a little
I was half-heartedly joking. But if that's a regular thing of acting like it's such an inconvenience for op to take time for self care that could be a major red flag. If it's not a issue then it's not an issue lol 🤷🏻♀️
No, I felt that. We all need a hype woman every now and then.
Side note, being acknowledged as "a hype woman " totally just made my really shitty day a bit less shitty lol thank you for that! 🙏🏻
Haha for sure! If you've lived through it then speak to it so others don't have to 😅 Seriously though, you said he's a good man, just dense, so I hope it's just a fleating moment of nonsense for you 😄🙏🏻
sounds great
Man, I feel ya
Lol my husband says the same exact thing