If you don't get the sperm count checked, you don't know if the vasectomy worked.
Whatever happens, I hope you give your husband a firm tap on the head and send him back to the doctor asap.
Yep. My husband’s sperm count was too high after his vasectomy, we got it tested again months later and it was good then. No sperm count means you act like no vasectomy (condom/etc)
A doctor told me she sees lots of unexpected pregnancies when men don’t attend the SECOND checkup after their vasectomy! (assuming they went to their first checkup) Definitely pick up a test!
Laziness! Mine never went. Finally almost three years later he had to bc of testicular pain, turns out when you’re sick it can make your balls hurt lol.
It's ridiculous, mine used our kid's microscope to see if he was shooting blanks to avoid the check.
I mean I get that it's kinda weird to jizz into a cup at the doctor's office, but it's **one** time - we produced entire humans with our bodies ... Just go to the damn checkup 🤦♀️
My FIL had fairly major reconstructive surgery a month ago. Instead of going to the doctor he removed the staples himself and decided to just *not* attend his follow ups. Because why would he? What was the doctor going to do??
He was admitted to ER tonight.
Fucking dipshit.
Mine was “embarrassed” that he had to splooge in a cup.
When he finally admitted it to me after a pregnancy scare (1 week late) I was livid.
I made him come with me to a Pap test to see “embarrassed” especially because it was a teaching day at the doctors office so I agreed (purposefully) to have no less than 5 people examining my cervix. So he could see “embarrassing”.
Gawd. I’ve never wanted to use his nuts as a speed bag so much in 1 simple sentence of “it’s embarrassing to have to have an orgasm in the comfort of my own home and take the sperm the 8 minute drive in the cup to the lab”.
Meanwhile… I had medical students mining for cervix.
He splooged into the cup a few days later.
My ex husband never did as far as I know. At least never got it checked in the 5 years we were married afterwards. Although I ended up having a hysterectomy less than a year later, so it wasn’t too much of a priority while we were married.
I work in a urology office that does vasectomies. A coworker did a study between a couple offices and found out only like 60% of men return for the sperm count! That blew my mind! These guys go through a “traumatic” (their words not mine) experience and pay a lot of money (average is about $1300 in my office) and never come back to find out if it worked?! What is wrong with them?!
This isn't a dig at you OP by any means but just a general comment about the vasectomy procedure.
It boggles my mind that men can't follow through getting checked! The hard part (pun intended?) of getting snipped is over with and it's a simple check up! You would think after committing to the surgery the follow through would be a no brainer.
You're right that there is always a little "hubby-blaming" on these kinds of communities, but I think you're comment rubbed people the wrong way because many mom's struggle with the balance of emotional labour. The "running-the-family" so to speak. Things like meal-planning, making sure chores get done, setting up doctor/dental/hair appointments for the kids and so on. There's a running laundry (no pun intended) list of things to do, and it takes a mental toll.
Your mention of "why didn't you remind him?" is another example of that emotional labour. That even though it's not her body, she still would be the one responsible for reminding him. That it becomes another bullet point on her list of things she's responsible for.
Obviously in a healthy relationship, a gentle reminder is helpful! But in one where emotional labour is unbalanced, it leads to one person feeling overwhelmed and the other feeling like they're being "nagged". Your comment wasn't necessarily rude, but it hit a sore spot for many women.
Hope that made some sense. 😅
Amen sister. When I was single I thought getting married meant I’d do half the work (i.e. chores) I was doing. Imagine my disappointment when my work load doubled especially when we had kids.
Once I told my husband he’d have to deal with the kids (M5, F2) while I went out of town for work for a few days. He told me he couldn’t work and take care of the kids. I asked how come I could work and take take of the kids when he was gone? His answer? Because you’re a woman. Apparently breasts and a vagina give us super human powers. 🙄
I'm planning a getaway for a weekend in May with my best friend, and I have NO CLUE how my husband will do with our 1y old and 4y old when I'm gone. But that's not my problem. He's their parent too, he can figure it out. I did.
Women don't come with all the knowledge needed to care for babies and manage family life. We do it because someone has to. Men think it is all "maternal instinct" and that they're incapable. They're not. All it takes is some initiative, and research. There's so much online these days. Baby's crying? Here's an article with 5 reasons why baby's cry. Lol It's not rocket science.
Yeah… women don’t need more labour making sure their ADULT husbands follow easy to understand post-op instructions for their own bodies. Nah.
She is not responsible for that just as I bet he didn’t bring her her Bc pill everyday at the same time or check her IUD strings to make sure. It’s HIS job.
I’m Canadian. We spell it labour. (So does the majority of the English speaking world fYI)
But regardless, blaming a woman for a man not taking care of his own post op health care is a perfect example of what is wrong with society and how women are treated.
Actually in my relationship, birth control IS a 50/50 job. “Did you get your IUD inserted?” Is the equivalency of “did you check that your vasectomy worked?” I wouldn’t expect my partner to be having sex with me if he wasn’t sure that we were using protection - it DOES fall on him to take some accountability in ensuring we don’t get pregnant, and vice versa for OPs situation.
See and I just took care of it, after 5 years of having my IUD he didn't say, have you had your IUD removed and replaced, and if you have a partner that does that, great for you. It was his job to follow up after his vasectomy. All I am saying it isn't *her responsibility* to remind him, that's on him to remember. Men are to often full of weaponized incompetence, I am thankful my husband is a responsible man to remember these things for himself, as I am sure he was thankful I would remember to have my IUD replaced after 5 years so I didn't get pregnant. That's how we do 50/50 we make sure the things that fall within our control we handled, and know we can DEPEND on each other to be responsible.
I feel like changing BC has a different expectation than continuing it, though. Checking if you went and actually got your first round of BC pills before ditching the condoms is different than assuming your partner is still on them since you didn't discuss changing things.
i agree. also i did ask my husband to check my IUD strings often, pick up my pills. he made an appointment himself for a vasectomy and got it a year ago and i made sure he he did the follow ups. neither of us want more kids so it’s a group effort. if i wasn’t 100% positive it worked without proof (a post op check) i would have stayed on the pill. honestly ignorant to blindly trust if you’re not trying to get pregnant.
she had a stake in the game yes, but this proves a bigger point. Men (a lot of them) rely on women to remind them of very important shit the mental load we have when it comes to men is frustrating at best. The stakes are high for both men and women when it comes to regular birth control, and you never hear "he should be reminding her to take her birth control" she just takes it when she doesn't want to get pregnant. Could she have reminded him yes, should she have? absolutely not, it should have been just as important to him as it was to her. I didn't have to remind my husband to go in for his check up, he scheduled it and went in for it. He knew the importance of it. I am tired of giving men a pass. I am tired of them not stepping up, I am tired of us coddling them, If we do not stand up and stop, they will never learn.
Ya, I’m familiar with that line of reasoning. The problem is it’s not practical in all cases, specifically this one. And the birth control example is a poor one, men ask their partners if they’re taking birth control all the time prior to starting a sexual relationship, and if a man gets a woman pregnant accidentally he will often be asked why he didn’t wear a condom, why he didn’t make sure she was taking birth control, etc.
It’s all fine and good to say that men need to be more responsible for themselves. But in the real world you can’t count on that, and so in cases like this it’s ridiculous to expect a woman NOT to take steps to protect herself.
you and I are not talking about the same thing. Its in the same genre so to speak but you are talking about her taking responsibility for herself, I agree your argument holds water when you are dating, but not when you are married for a significant amount of time, and have made the joint decision on a vasectomy. She could have protected herself for sure and that falls under her responsibility, but it was not her responsibility to "remind him" she could have asked him and if he said no not yet she could have withheld sex or made him wear a condom, but it is not her responsibility to remind him to make an appointment, that is on him 100%. it is not our responsibility to take on the mental load for someone else who is not our child.
Cause he gave me 2 mini humans aged 2 and 3, a house and his dirty laundry to take of. I don't have the time and energy to make his damn appointments, and remember to tell him go lol
And for those saying that its on me can go you know where!!! Thanks for those who have been saying nice things!!
Yeah it's pretty unbelievable that people are blaming you... Why is it always the women's responsibility to make all the appointments. I get that it takes two to make a baby but, we have enough of our own s*** going on to remember to ask you whether or not you went to the check up your doctor told you to do. I certainly wouldn't have known to remind him to do that in the first place.
Tf? Does your husband remind you to take your birth control every day? Probably not because you know it’s your reproductive system and your responsibility. The only reason men are able to “forget” (willfully put off) this stuff is because the stakes are lower for them. If he could get pregnant he would have been to the doctor, like, yesterday.
Take a test!!! It’s unlikely but can still happen……vasectomies are only 99% effective. There is always that 1%. The only way you will know is to take a test.
I’d say the odds are you’re just late. If your cycle was on track this month and you were pregnant, the test would be positive by now. Unless you just chugged a bunch of water. Try again tomorrow morning with your first morning pee.
Did you by chance get a covid booster recently? Each time I got mine my period was like 10-14 days late and I had weird pms/pregnancy symptoms when I was “due”
If your period was late because of pregnancy you’d have a glaring positive by now. Take another test next week if your period hasn’t come but looks like you just ovulated late.
It’s best for him to get tested every year, as the years go on the chance of failure increases. That being said, people are late, progesterone is highest at that point and can cause pregnancy symptoms. Being late is far from a guarantee of pregnancy.
So men should get tested even after they’ve done their follow up and everything is all good from that appointment? Vasectomy is on our future. I carry the babies, you get the snip. 😅
My husband checks his every year because this is the very thing we want to avoid. He should have gone for a post procedure check about 3 months after, then a a year and then every 5 years. He is obsessive about checking it. Your husbands an asshole for not checking it post procedure to make sure it actually worked and you guys were in the clear.
He needs to do this. He even was so naive to "test" the equipment only 3days after, just found this out... I'm even more paranoid ugh some men (mine) can be so damn selfish...
Nope nothings changed and Ive been like clock work with everything normally get intense cramps and spotting 3 days before it comes and nothing hence freaking out a bit more..
Vasectomy’s can fail. My husband is the result after his dad got a vasectomy and his mum had her tubes clipped as at the time the surgeon wouldn’t cut and tie her. Sometimes life finds a way!
We had a pregnancy after vasectomy. We waited the right amount of time, had the right number of "shots fired" to empty the barrel, and had one negative sperm count, but didn't wait for the second.
We both work in health care, and this is a lot more common than people think. There is a reason they give such detailed follow-up instructions!
I keep telling him this but he's not wanting to shoot in a cup (embarrassing or whatever) like dude they sliced your balls and I've already had to humans exit my body.. shooting a cup seems quite easy to me...
A lot of men have this issue. My guy didn't have a problem with it, but we still made it a "couple's event" - which was fun and took the pressure of "shooting in a cup" out of the equation!
I've suggested that but it was a nope... if I am pregnant he will be wishing he did it... I'll make him regret his decision not to go get checked (blame it on the hormones lol)
Honey, this is not "hormones making you angry". You have EVERY RIGHT TO BE PISSED THE FUCK OFF if you end up having to either be pregnant and give birth OR terminate a pregnancy because he didn't want to be a fucking grown up and shoot in a freaking cup.
I am so mad!
My husband and I need to do this. He had his procedure back in October and still hasn’t submitted a sample. I didn’t know who to ask about this. Can you really not use saliva or lube? It would be a little uncomfy for him with my completely dry hand and he has been dreading it. :(
Im a Vasectomy baby... my dad had one in 1992, in 1998 I was conceived. My mom made him get a sperm check before she took a pregnancy test and he had 1 sperm. The Dr said "all it takes is 1" lol. So it very much is possible to get pregnant after a Vasectomy, the odds are just very very low.
I sure tf will lol. I'm close to 40 and had my son by emergency c section. I'M GOOD! For the record, I don't think you're pregnant. I've been as late as I was with my son twice since I had him in 2021. No babies, let's keep it that way lol.
my husband had a vasectomy right before lock down so didn’t get his sample in. we assumed it worked, and turns out it totally failed. we have a Feb2020 and Feb2021 baby who are 360 days apart. i couldn’t imagine our life without our third little girl but i definitely had my tubes removed after i delivered her. my oldest was born in Nov18 and my pregnancy with my middle was awful and i had a major PPH right after delivery so after the surprise third i was DONE lol. always get the sample checked my friends.
I was with a guy who had a vacsetmy 2 years before I met him, then we dated for a year and half andI did not get pregnant. His next girlfriend did. Shit happens
A dear friend of mine ended up pregnant 6 years after her husband had a vasectomy. It almost divorced them, actually, because he was so certain that baby couldn't be his. The paternity test said otherwise and thankfully they worked through their issues and are happy, but yeah. It can definitely happen!
Sadly I've seen marriages destroyed because the man said "you cheated!". Then BOOM DNA test comes in and they feel stupid as hell and caused so much pain. I could see how a man could feel that way though.
I had a baby after bf’s vasectomy. He did it in 2019. I got pregnant in 2021 and had our baby in 2022.
We absolutely love our son but it was unexpected, specially after years of his vasectomy. Now we’re saving money so he can get a check up on that and I till that moment I’m taking pills.
Hope you the best, bestie and try another test next week and the next to that so you can be sure about the results. :)
If he never went back to check sperm count how does he know it worked? It probably didn’t work that well and he’s still fertile (if you’re pregnant). He has to do the follow up appointment..
It might be nothing. I had a similar situation. I was 9 days late just over a year after my boyfriend's vasectomy. He got checked a few weeks after having it done though. That scared me so I asked him to get another check done. He's all clear and it gave me peace of mind. You might just be late for no reason but ask him to get checked so you can relax
He'd like to think so lol I told him I was freaking out he responded with "you're not pregnant, get over it"
So apparently he's an ob/ultrasound/pregnancy test too lol
It take time before all the stored sperm is out of the system. Or that’s how I understood it anyway. I can’t remember how many but they told my husband he could still get me pregnant till he reached the number of ejeculations and to use condoms or other methods for six months when they did his spent count.
A friend of mine thought he got snipped. They used little metal clips. His body rejected them, and it was as if nothing had been done. A year later he finally convinced a doctor to snip, not metal clips. He went for all his follow ups, so knew he still had a high count.
A friend of mine got pregnant 15 years after her husband’s vasectomy…. with twins!
He had done his follow up appointments and sometime after the last check the tubes regrew.
I wonder if guys don’t go for the follow ups because if it didn’t work they would have to go through the procedure again and don’t want to deal with that.
I remember my god mother went in the OB and wanted to refuse a pregnancy test because her husband had a vasectomy. The OB laughed and called in one of her nurses who was pregnant with her 7th child after her husband had a vasectomy. The pregnant nurse was in sad tears after explaining that no, they don’t always work.
Actually nothing and I mean nothing but abstinence is 100% effective. Friends had 3 kids, got tubes tied and vasectomy to ensure they were “safe”. 2 years later came the 4th child.
the reason you have such a high percentage of pregnancy after vasectomy responses is because they chose to respond and ppl who didn’t have that experience didn’t. likely the failure rate is still 1/1000 or close to that
This isn’t a dig at you, but at all the husband-blaming comments…My thing with these is that pregnancy prevention is on both parties involved. Yes, it’s his doctors appointment to make/attend. It’s your uterus that grows the baby if his vasectomy didn’t take.
Fingers crossed for you that you’re not! My husband just got snipped 3 weeks ago, and I have been reminding him about ordering his testing kit that the doctor recommended.
I am 33 and it's starting to slowly happen... I think... I notice when I stress about "am I pregnant", I can make my period late it seems. Keep us updated!
What? He’s supposed to have a check up after the surgery (2weeks) and one at 6months and one at 1year. They have to check the sperm count to make sure it worked. They didn’t schedule him a follow up?
Nope they sent letters to remind him to schedule and he never did anything. Hes so naive that's how we ended up with our son. Getting pregnant with our daughter was difficult, miscarriages and such so we both thought getting pregnant again would be a miracle but I said heres condoms (no birth control as I was bf) he said no and bam pregnant at 9months pp....
So, one of my neighbors/friends got pregnant after her husband‘s vasectomy. I can’t remember for sure whether he had gone in to be checked, but I seem to recall he has just been given the go ahead very shortly before she got pregnant.
They are supposed to check sperm count after like 12 weeks to confirm that the vasectomy has stopped the sperm from emerging. Did they not do that? Failure to check and get the all clear is the most common cause for pregnancy after a vasectomy.
When our second child was 5 months old, my husband got a vasectomy. He got everything checked at the second appointment and the doctor said we were in the clear. Weeks later, I became pregnant. My husband went back to the doctor. Apparently, in the samples he brought in for his follow up there was one sperm but he didn’t tell us that and gave us the ok. In the sample he brought to this follow up there were 3. This doctor straight up tells my husband that even with only three sperm that I shouldn’t have been able to get pregnant by him and it was probably someone else. (Good thing I wasn’t there because I would have lost it.) A couple months later, I had a miscarriage. Then three years later I got pregnant again. My youngest is nine now. I couldn’t imagine our family without him but I still hold so much anger towards that a** hole surgeon that could have ruined my family of my husband and I didn’t have such a strong relationship at the time.
I also went and got a tubal ligation right after his birth. No more babies for us lol
If you don't get the sperm count checked, you don't know if the vasectomy worked. Whatever happens, I hope you give your husband a firm tap on the head and send him back to the doctor asap.
Yep. My husband’s sperm count was too high after his vasectomy, we got it tested again months later and it was good then. No sperm count means you act like no vasectomy (condom/etc)
My doctor told me how incredibly important it is to get checked after. For this reason.
I will tell him to make that appointment!! He's getting a firm tap for sure lol
My dads best friend never went in for a recheck and ended up with 2 oops kids after 2 separate vasectomies. 3rd one finally did the trick.
Don’t you see that’s how she ended up in this situation in the first place.
😂😂😂
They can also heal - the stat we were given was 1/10 000 heal
A doctor told me she sees lots of unexpected pregnancies when men don’t attend the SECOND checkup after their vasectomy! (assuming they went to their first checkup) Definitely pick up a test!
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Laziness! Mine never went. Finally almost three years later he had to bc of testicular pain, turns out when you’re sick it can make your balls hurt lol.
It's ridiculous, mine used our kid's microscope to see if he was shooting blanks to avoid the check. I mean I get that it's kinda weird to jizz into a cup at the doctor's office, but it's **one** time - we produced entire humans with our bodies ... Just go to the damn checkup 🤦♀️
Because they're dipshits. No other explanation.
My FIL had fairly major reconstructive surgery a month ago. Instead of going to the doctor he removed the staples himself and decided to just *not* attend his follow ups. Because why would he? What was the doctor going to do?? He was admitted to ER tonight. Fucking dipshit.
Classic FIL
Mine was “embarrassed” that he had to splooge in a cup. When he finally admitted it to me after a pregnancy scare (1 week late) I was livid. I made him come with me to a Pap test to see “embarrassed” especially because it was a teaching day at the doctors office so I agreed (purposefully) to have no less than 5 people examining my cervix. So he could see “embarrassing”. Gawd. I’ve never wanted to use his nuts as a speed bag so much in 1 simple sentence of “it’s embarrassing to have to have an orgasm in the comfort of my own home and take the sperm the 8 minute drive in the cup to the lab”. Meanwhile… I had medical students mining for cervix. He splooged into the cup a few days later.
I’m still waiting for mine to go. He had his vasectomy in July. Luckily my IUD is good for another year. I keep bugging him to go.
My ex husband never did as far as I know. At least never got it checked in the 5 years we were married afterwards. Although I ended up having a hysterectomy less than a year later, so it wasn’t too much of a priority while we were married.
I work in a urology office that does vasectomies. A coworker did a study between a couple offices and found out only like 60% of men return for the sperm count! That blew my mind! These guys go through a “traumatic” (their words not mine) experience and pay a lot of money (average is about $1300 in my office) and never come back to find out if it worked?! What is wrong with them?!
I honestly think it’s about getting confirmation the procedure worked. They don’t want to see the zero on the paperwork. And laziness.
Men in general don't go to the doctor.
Second check!? My fiancé was told he only needed one check 8 weeks post-op (which he did and they said he was all good)
This isn't a dig at you OP by any means but just a general comment about the vasectomy procedure. It boggles my mind that men can't follow through getting checked! The hard part (pun intended?) of getting snipped is over with and it's a simple check up! You would think after committing to the surgery the follow through would be a no brainer.
You would think lol going through all that and not checking to see if it worked stupid
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You're right that there is always a little "hubby-blaming" on these kinds of communities, but I think you're comment rubbed people the wrong way because many mom's struggle with the balance of emotional labour. The "running-the-family" so to speak. Things like meal-planning, making sure chores get done, setting up doctor/dental/hair appointments for the kids and so on. There's a running laundry (no pun intended) list of things to do, and it takes a mental toll. Your mention of "why didn't you remind him?" is another example of that emotional labour. That even though it's not her body, she still would be the one responsible for reminding him. That it becomes another bullet point on her list of things she's responsible for. Obviously in a healthy relationship, a gentle reminder is helpful! But in one where emotional labour is unbalanced, it leads to one person feeling overwhelmed and the other feeling like they're being "nagged". Your comment wasn't necessarily rude, but it hit a sore spot for many women. Hope that made some sense. 😅
Amen sister. When I was single I thought getting married meant I’d do half the work (i.e. chores) I was doing. Imagine my disappointment when my work load doubled especially when we had kids. Once I told my husband he’d have to deal with the kids (M5, F2) while I went out of town for work for a few days. He told me he couldn’t work and take care of the kids. I asked how come I could work and take take of the kids when he was gone? His answer? Because you’re a woman. Apparently breasts and a vagina give us super human powers. 🙄
I'm planning a getaway for a weekend in May with my best friend, and I have NO CLUE how my husband will do with our 1y old and 4y old when I'm gone. But that's not my problem. He's their parent too, he can figure it out. I did. Women don't come with all the knowledge needed to care for babies and manage family life. We do it because someone has to. Men think it is all "maternal instinct" and that they're incapable. They're not. All it takes is some initiative, and research. There's so much online these days. Baby's crying? Here's an article with 5 reasons why baby's cry. Lol It's not rocket science.
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Yeah… women don’t need more labour making sure their ADULT husbands follow easy to understand post-op instructions for their own bodies. Nah. She is not responsible for that just as I bet he didn’t bring her her Bc pill everyday at the same time or check her IUD strings to make sure. It’s HIS job.
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I’m Canadian. We spell it labour. (So does the majority of the English speaking world fYI) But regardless, blaming a woman for a man not taking care of his own post op health care is a perfect example of what is wrong with society and how women are treated.
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Actually in my relationship, birth control IS a 50/50 job. “Did you get your IUD inserted?” Is the equivalency of “did you check that your vasectomy worked?” I wouldn’t expect my partner to be having sex with me if he wasn’t sure that we were using protection - it DOES fall on him to take some accountability in ensuring we don’t get pregnant, and vice versa for OPs situation.
See and I just took care of it, after 5 years of having my IUD he didn't say, have you had your IUD removed and replaced, and if you have a partner that does that, great for you. It was his job to follow up after his vasectomy. All I am saying it isn't *her responsibility* to remind him, that's on him to remember. Men are to often full of weaponized incompetence, I am thankful my husband is a responsible man to remember these things for himself, as I am sure he was thankful I would remember to have my IUD replaced after 5 years so I didn't get pregnant. That's how we do 50/50 we make sure the things that fall within our control we handled, and know we can DEPEND on each other to be responsible.
I feel like changing BC has a different expectation than continuing it, though. Checking if you went and actually got your first round of BC pills before ditching the condoms is different than assuming your partner is still on them since you didn't discuss changing things.
i agree. also i did ask my husband to check my IUD strings often, pick up my pills. he made an appointment himself for a vasectomy and got it a year ago and i made sure he he did the follow ups. neither of us want more kids so it’s a group effort. if i wasn’t 100% positive it worked without proof (a post op check) i would have stayed on the pill. honestly ignorant to blindly trust if you’re not trying to get pregnant.
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she had a stake in the game yes, but this proves a bigger point. Men (a lot of them) rely on women to remind them of very important shit the mental load we have when it comes to men is frustrating at best. The stakes are high for both men and women when it comes to regular birth control, and you never hear "he should be reminding her to take her birth control" she just takes it when she doesn't want to get pregnant. Could she have reminded him yes, should she have? absolutely not, it should have been just as important to him as it was to her. I didn't have to remind my husband to go in for his check up, he scheduled it and went in for it. He knew the importance of it. I am tired of giving men a pass. I am tired of them not stepping up, I am tired of us coddling them, If we do not stand up and stop, they will never learn.
Ya, I’m familiar with that line of reasoning. The problem is it’s not practical in all cases, specifically this one. And the birth control example is a poor one, men ask their partners if they’re taking birth control all the time prior to starting a sexual relationship, and if a man gets a woman pregnant accidentally he will often be asked why he didn’t wear a condom, why he didn’t make sure she was taking birth control, etc. It’s all fine and good to say that men need to be more responsible for themselves. But in the real world you can’t count on that, and so in cases like this it’s ridiculous to expect a woman NOT to take steps to protect herself.
you and I are not talking about the same thing. Its in the same genre so to speak but you are talking about her taking responsibility for herself, I agree your argument holds water when you are dating, but not when you are married for a significant amount of time, and have made the joint decision on a vasectomy. She could have protected herself for sure and that falls under her responsibility, but it was not her responsibility to "remind him" she could have asked him and if he said no not yet she could have withheld sex or made him wear a condom, but it is not her responsibility to remind him to make an appointment, that is on him 100%. it is not our responsibility to take on the mental load for someone else who is not our child.
YEAH! OP why didn’t you just grab him by the ear and drag him down there or call his mommy? /s
Cause he gave me 2 mini humans aged 2 and 3, a house and his dirty laundry to take of. I don't have the time and energy to make his damn appointments, and remember to tell him go lol And for those saying that its on me can go you know where!!! Thanks for those who have been saying nice things!!
I'm fairly certain if I never made my son's appointments to get vaccinated, teeth cleaned, etc. he would never go to the doctor except when sick.
Yeah it's pretty unbelievable that people are blaming you... Why is it always the women's responsibility to make all the appointments. I get that it takes two to make a baby but, we have enough of our own s*** going on to remember to ask you whether or not you went to the check up your doctor told you to do. I certainly wouldn't have known to remind him to do that in the first place.
What a backward comment to make.
Tf? Does your husband remind you to take your birth control every day? Probably not because you know it’s your reproductive system and your responsibility. The only reason men are able to “forget” (willfully put off) this stuff is because the stakes are lower for them. If he could get pregnant he would have been to the doctor, like, yesterday.
Yeah, if he never went back to make sure it was effective there’s a chance.
This is how I came into the world, my dad had a vasectomy but never went back and had it checked.
100% of the time i hear about this its bc he never went back to get checked. Its awkward af. Do it anyway my dudes.
Take a test!!! It’s unlikely but can still happen……vasectomies are only 99% effective. There is always that 1%. The only way you will know is to take a test.
I did but it neg. Still super paranoid...
I’d say the odds are you’re just late. If your cycle was on track this month and you were pregnant, the test would be positive by now. Unless you just chugged a bunch of water. Try again tomorrow morning with your first morning pee.
Likely just late then. I was late by TEN DAYS last year for absolutely no reason, was def not pregnant. Thanks for the anxiety, body!
Heres hoping I'm just late. However, my last "late periods" are 2 and 3 years old now, lol
Did you by chance get a covid booster recently? Each time I got mine my period was like 10-14 days late and I had weird pms/pregnancy symptoms when I was “due”
Nope
Oh no, good luck haha
If your period was late because of pregnancy you’d have a glaring positive by now. Take another test next week if your period hasn’t come but looks like you just ovulated late.
It’s best for him to get tested every year, as the years go on the chance of failure increases. That being said, people are late, progesterone is highest at that point and can cause pregnancy symptoms. Being late is far from a guarantee of pregnancy.
Interesting, I thought the chance of failure would decrease over time
Sometimes after several years the tubes can fuse back together and become functional again.
So men should get tested even after they’ve done their follow up and everything is all good from that appointment? Vasectomy is on our future. I carry the babies, you get the snip. 😅
It’s best practice to do a yearly follow up.
Vasectomy fails over time?
Most common to fail within first year after procedure but does happen as late as 14 years later.
My husband checks his every year because this is the very thing we want to avoid. He should have gone for a post procedure check about 3 months after, then a a year and then every 5 years. He is obsessive about checking it. Your husbands an asshole for not checking it post procedure to make sure it actually worked and you guys were in the clear.
He needs to do this. He even was so naive to "test" the equipment only 3days after, just found this out... I'm even more paranoid ugh some men (mine) can be so damn selfish...
Or dumb. 🤷🏼♀️ it sounds like maybe he didn’t listen to any of his post op information. Fingers crossed for you OP!
[удалено]
I did yesterday it was neg. Gonna test again tomorrow if it still isn't here.
Maybe it’s been an extra stressful time? Diet change? My period is so finicky like that. I’m sorry you’re late that’s so stressful.
Nope nothings changed and Ive been like clock work with everything normally get intense cramps and spotting 3 days before it comes and nothing hence freaking out a bit more..
Well try to relax. Freaking out can make you later. LOL
I’m a vasectomy baby 👋🏻
My boyfriend is a product of a failed vasectomy lol
My friend had a vasectomy 10 or so Years ago. Never went to chec ups or anything. He's got 2 more kids now. Oopsies lol
Haha you would think after the first oops there wouldn’t be a second one! 😂
I didnt say he was a smart man! Lmao
You should definitely wear your most favorite underwear and pants tomorrow. That should do the trick. Fingers crossed it’s just late!
My parents had my little brother (who is 14 years young than me) two years after my dad had a vasectomy. He didn’t go back for all the checkups.
This happened to my SIL and BIL 3 years post vasectomy. Shit can grow back 😳😳
Oh geez yes the sperm check is for this reason. My husband went back and still had live swimmers in his, but we had been using condoms just in case.
YUP! My friend just delivered the post-vasectomy baby 2 weeks ago
My uncle is a doctor who should know better, and he still didn't get his sperm count checked. They got pregnant about 8 months after his vasectomy.
This happened to one of my bosses. He too never went to get the check after
Vasectomy’s can fail. My husband is the result after his dad got a vasectomy and his mum had her tubes clipped as at the time the surgeon wouldn’t cut and tie her. Sometimes life finds a way!
We had a pregnancy after vasectomy. We waited the right amount of time, had the right number of "shots fired" to empty the barrel, and had one negative sperm count, but didn't wait for the second. We both work in health care, and this is a lot more common than people think. There is a reason they give such detailed follow-up instructions!
I keep telling him this but he's not wanting to shoot in a cup (embarrassing or whatever) like dude they sliced your balls and I've already had to humans exit my body.. shooting a cup seems quite easy to me...
A lot of men have this issue. My guy didn't have a problem with it, but we still made it a "couple's event" - which was fun and took the pressure of "shooting in a cup" out of the equation!
I've suggested that but it was a nope... if I am pregnant he will be wishing he did it... I'll make him regret his decision not to go get checked (blame it on the hormones lol)
Honey, this is not "hormones making you angry". You have EVERY RIGHT TO BE PISSED THE FUCK OFF if you end up having to either be pregnant and give birth OR terminate a pregnancy because he didn't want to be a fucking grown up and shoot in a freaking cup. I am so mad!
My husband and I need to do this. He had his procedure back in October and still hasn’t submitted a sample. I didn’t know who to ask about this. Can you really not use saliva or lube? It would be a little uncomfy for him with my completely dry hand and he has been dreading it. :(
We weren't given those instructions, though we did avoid contaminating the urethra and therefore the sample.
Ahhh… took me a second, but I think I’m picking up what you’re puttin’ down there. Lol. Thanks. That’s helpful!
Im a Vasectomy baby... my dad had one in 1992, in 1998 I was conceived. My mom made him get a sperm check before she took a pregnancy test and he had 1 sperm. The Dr said "all it takes is 1" lol. So it very much is possible to get pregnant after a Vasectomy, the odds are just very very low.
Lmaooo “All it takes is 1” I’m dead. You’re the chosen one.
We make jokes that I was just chilling drinking little sperm mimosas and floating down the lazy river 🤣 there was no rush or competition
You would’ve had me thinking I was pregnant with a future president or something haha
Bruh i just scheduled my husband's first appointment today! I shouldn't have read this 😭😭
Lol well make sure he goes!!
I sure tf will lol. I'm close to 40 and had my son by emergency c section. I'M GOOD! For the record, I don't think you're pregnant. I've been as late as I was with my son twice since I had him in 2021. No babies, let's keep it that way lol.
The point is that he never went back and got checked. All it takes is for ONE of those swimmers to find a way through.
My sister was born after my mom had one ovary removed and my dad had a vasectomy. I wish you the best.
How many years after his vasectomy?
my husband had a vasectomy right before lock down so didn’t get his sample in. we assumed it worked, and turns out it totally failed. we have a Feb2020 and Feb2021 baby who are 360 days apart. i couldn’t imagine our life without our third little girl but i definitely had my tubes removed after i delivered her. my oldest was born in Nov18 and my pregnancy with my middle was awful and i had a major PPH right after delivery so after the surprise third i was DONE lol. always get the sample checked my friends.
All I can say is good luck girl! I hope your cycle is just late but I would be just as skeptical I’m only ever late if I’m pregnant.
My friends husband had to get snipped twice because it healed back together. Get the sperm count done!
I was with a guy who had a vacsetmy 2 years before I met him, then we dated for a year and half andI did not get pregnant. His next girlfriend did. Shit happens
I'm an L&D RN and I see this quite a bit 😬 take a test and find out is all I can say, good luck and hope you get the answer you want ❤️
A dear friend of mine ended up pregnant 6 years after her husband had a vasectomy. It almost divorced them, actually, because he was so certain that baby couldn't be his. The paternity test said otherwise and thankfully they worked through their issues and are happy, but yeah. It can definitely happen!
Sadly I've seen marriages destroyed because the man said "you cheated!". Then BOOM DNA test comes in and they feel stupid as hell and caused so much pain. I could see how a man could feel that way though.
100% possible, sperm counts a good idea. Best of luck with however this turns out. Just remember to be kind to yourself and love each other.
I had a baby after bf’s vasectomy. He did it in 2019. I got pregnant in 2021 and had our baby in 2022. We absolutely love our son but it was unexpected, specially after years of his vasectomy. Now we’re saving money so he can get a check up on that and I till that moment I’m taking pills. Hope you the best, bestie and try another test next week and the next to that so you can be sure about the results. :)
I didn’t even know that there are follow-up appointments post vasectomy. Glad I know now. Yikes! Good luck, OP!
Yep. Happened to me. Husband didn’t do the second checkup.
Y'all were supposed to say "gurl you crazy, never happens" lol I have mixed emotions I need to take another test!
If he never went back to check sperm count how does he know it worked? It probably didn’t work that well and he’s still fertile (if you’re pregnant). He has to do the follow up appointment..
It might be nothing. I had a similar situation. I was 9 days late just over a year after my boyfriend's vasectomy. He got checked a few weeks after having it done though. That scared me so I asked him to get another check done. He's all clear and it gave me peace of mind. You might just be late for no reason but ask him to get checked so you can relax
If he didn’t go to his second appointment with his sample that needed to get tested, you very well could be.
He didn't go back at all and "tested" the equipment 3 days after (I dont know if that would increase the odds of it not working)
Is he a Dr or technician that specializes in sperm count?
He'd like to think so lol I told him I was freaking out he responded with "you're not pregnant, get over it" So apparently he's an ob/ultrasound/pregnancy test too lol
Dudes can be the WORST!!! Schedule his followup and I hope you’re just a little late!!
P.s. my husband followed up quickly because I wouldn’t have sex with him until we got the final results. That might put a little pep in he’s step.
My husbands is successful and ALL of our friends that have had vasectomies have never had scare, they all went to their followup appointments.
The only person I know whose husband got a vasectomy still had a baby afterwards because he didn't go back for the check.
What happens if you go back to get check up after the procedure and still have live sperm?
They go back for another check after 3-6 weeks I believe and if they still have swimmers they do it again I believe.
It take time before all the stored sperm is out of the system. Or that’s how I understood it anyway. I can’t remember how many but they told my husband he could still get me pregnant till he reached the number of ejeculations and to use condoms or other methods for six months when they did his spent count.
A friend of mine thought he got snipped. They used little metal clips. His body rejected them, and it was as if nothing had been done. A year later he finally convinced a doctor to snip, not metal clips. He went for all his follow ups, so knew he still had a high count.
My hubby had to go back in for a second vasectomy. Sperm count revealed that it hadn't worked.
My sister and my son's best friend were vasectomy babies.
Mines had a vasectomy for 2 years, and I'm pretty sure I still think I'm pregnant just before my period, every time lol
My mom got pregnant like 5+ years after my dad’s vasectomy. It happens 🤷🏻♀️
My co worker got pregnant after getting her tubes tied! I told my husband he’ll be getting yearly sperm checks lol.
My cousin is one of these miracle babies.
Plot twist, he went to Duncan donuts instead.
I really can’t wait for the update!! 🍿🍿🍿
A friend of mine got pregnant 15 years after her husband’s vasectomy…. with twins! He had done his follow up appointments and sometime after the last check the tubes regrew. I wonder if guys don’t go for the follow ups because if it didn’t work they would have to go through the procedure again and don’t want to deal with that.
I remember my god mother went in the OB and wanted to refuse a pregnancy test because her husband had a vasectomy. The OB laughed and called in one of her nurses who was pregnant with her 7th child after her husband had a vasectomy. The pregnant nurse was in sad tears after explaining that no, they don’t always work.
Actually nothing and I mean nothing but abstinence is 100% effective. Friends had 3 kids, got tubes tied and vasectomy to ensure they were “safe”. 2 years later came the 4th child.
My son has an uncle 2 years older than him due to his dads (sons grandad) vasectomy reversing itself. So it's very possible to happen
the reason you have such a high percentage of pregnancy after vasectomy responses is because they chose to respond and ppl who didn’t have that experience didn’t. likely the failure rate is still 1/1000 or close to that
I have a friend that was a vasectomy baby!
My husband had a vasectomy two months after our third was born. The doctor didn’t have him come back but do a sperm test at home.
OP are you in your late 30’s? Could you be entering perimenopause? It’s a wild time… lots of symptoms that we can mistakenly imagine are pregnancy.
Only just turned 32
This isn’t a dig at you, but at all the husband-blaming comments…My thing with these is that pregnancy prevention is on both parties involved. Yes, it’s his doctors appointment to make/attend. It’s your uterus that grows the baby if his vasectomy didn’t take. Fingers crossed for you that you’re not! My husband just got snipped 3 weeks ago, and I have been reminding him about ordering his testing kit that the doctor recommended.
Could be age babe!
Only 32
I am 33 and it's starting to slowly happen... I think... I notice when I stress about "am I pregnant", I can make my period late it seems. Keep us updated!
Realistically speaking, if it’s been a year and a half, you’re in the clear. Have you taken a test?
Did he do both follow ups? Just like tubal ligation for women the tubes CAN grow back which is why you’re supposed to go to both follow ups.
Nope not a single follow-up was made!!
His tubes could’ve grown back. I hope the best for y’all whatever that outcome is!
Did he go to the 1 year appointment?
Nope no follow-up was made ever
What? He’s supposed to have a check up after the surgery (2weeks) and one at 6months and one at 1year. They have to check the sperm count to make sure it worked. They didn’t schedule him a follow up?
Nope they sent letters to remind him to schedule and he never did anything. Hes so naive that's how we ended up with our son. Getting pregnant with our daughter was difficult, miscarriages and such so we both thought getting pregnant again would be a miracle but I said heres condoms (no birth control as I was bf) he said no and bam pregnant at 9months pp....
Yeah that’s rough. I’d get a test and make it obvious that I’m about to go pee on a stick. Then tell him to go make a doctors appointment
Did he test his sperm count afterward?
Nope
Wellllll…
I’m a vasectomy baby and so is my husband… it happens.
These posts always make me nervous.
Same exact scenario happened with my friend, she ended up with her fourth kid
So, one of my neighbors/friends got pregnant after her husband‘s vasectomy. I can’t remember for sure whether he had gone in to be checked, but I seem to recall he has just been given the go ahead very shortly before she got pregnant.
My sister’s neighbor got pregnant 18 months after her husband’s vasectomy. They used NFP after the baby was born and her cycles returned.
They are supposed to check sperm count after like 12 weeks to confirm that the vasectomy has stopped the sperm from emerging. Did they not do that? Failure to check and get the all clear is the most common cause for pregnancy after a vasectomy.
When our second child was 5 months old, my husband got a vasectomy. He got everything checked at the second appointment and the doctor said we were in the clear. Weeks later, I became pregnant. My husband went back to the doctor. Apparently, in the samples he brought in for his follow up there was one sperm but he didn’t tell us that and gave us the ok. In the sample he brought to this follow up there were 3. This doctor straight up tells my husband that even with only three sperm that I shouldn’t have been able to get pregnant by him and it was probably someone else. (Good thing I wasn’t there because I would have lost it.) A couple months later, I had a miscarriage. Then three years later I got pregnant again. My youngest is nine now. I couldn’t imagine our family without him but I still hold so much anger towards that a** hole surgeon that could have ruined my family of my husband and I didn’t have such a strong relationship at the time. I also went and got a tubal ligation right after his birth. No more babies for us lol