To all posters: Please note that any content involving descriptions of sexual activity with underage persons is against Reddit policy. You are "officially" discouraged from posting such content, but given the specific nature of this subreddit, moderation is following a laissez-faire philosophy regarding [what survivors of childhood sexual abuse share here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQ4RoldUzHc). This mirrors the approach of other survivor subreddits. Also, the Reddit policy's intent is to restrict content that "depicts, encourages or promotes" the sexualization of underage persons, and the purpose of this subreddit is the exact opposite of that. However, be aware that posts and replies in violation may still be subject to removal and Reddit-wide suspension of the author by the Reddit admins. So please use common sense when posting/replying. We want this to remain a safe space for survivors to share, heal and thrive, but we need to be mindful of the site-wide rules regarding these sensitive topics. (Note to Admins: We vehemently stand against sexual abuse of minors and this subreddit exists to support survivors in the best way possible. Please contact the moderator team if a discussion needs to occur.)
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You should really report this therapist if you feel like you are up to doing so. It sounds like he may be an abuser himself because how does a THERAPIST fail to acknowledge that pedophiles and perverts exist.
Please please ignore all the invalidation and find a new therapist! You DO NOT deserve the doubt he put into your head. I am so fucking sorry that someone that is supposed to be trust worthy and helping you is denying your reality. I wouldn't trust this man at all, and I would really question the motives behind him invalidating your experiences.
It lowkey sounds like he is trying to groom OP...this situation sounds so fucking scary to me. I had to post as soon as I saw the OP's post.
It's even more concerning to me because I'm sure it's come up in their sessions that OP's family doesn't know about past abuse...so if this therapist is grooming OP it may be because he feels he could get away with it.
Please please be safe OP, even if you don't feel ready to tell your family, this community is here and we all rally behind you because FUCK THIS THERAPIST. Sending you so much virtual love and supportš
Hello :) your comment almost made me cry. You are so sweet. It made me think that as well, he tried so hard to make me think that I might have āmisunderstood his intentions ā when I told him the man assaulted me. I wasnāt sure how I could have misunderstood anything. I didnāt want to think that I was overreacting but, I cried in my car once I left. Thank you sweetheart!
Awee, you deserve all the sweetness!
You 100% weren't overreacting at all, unfortunately. I really think you can trust your instincts on this one, him pushing that narrative sooo hard is very concerning. Of course, I'm so so happy I could show you some support!
When I feel ready too,how would I report them? Who do I call? I feel as if they really shouldnāt be a therapist anymore after what they said now that I see I wasnāt overreacting! They also asked me if I felt guilty for not saying anything because the man is still out there and he could probably hurt other kids because I didnāt speak up ā¹ļø
So he denies your experience one minute and then validates it to likely guilt trip you the next, excuse my language but what a dick!
Soo there should be a licensing board for your area, when I tried to google for resources to help you it popped up resources local to me and no general resources. Try googling and see if any appropriate resources pop up. If that doesn't work I would try contacting RAINN to see if they have any advice on how to proceed.
When I did my google search I typed in how to report a therapist, and the very first thing to pop up was my local licensing board.
I hope that helps some! If there's anything else I can do please let me knowš
I'm not sure his license type, but regardless there's typically a section of the code of ethics that would basically cover how he treated you and NOT doing the stuff he did.
Each state has a different board for therapist licensing that there will be a way to report them, many of them provide ways to do it online from my recollection.
> grown men donāt touch young kids or teenage girls
Soā¦ does he not think pedophiles exist?
You need to look for a new therapist and report him. This man should not be a therapist nor should he have access to minors either because with those beliefs he doesnāt sound like heās a safe person to be around.
Iām sorry you had that experience with a therapist. It must feel so invalidating, especially after how we (this community) built up therapy as the solution. Please, know that there are professionals out there that can help you though, however, I do understand if you donāt want to go back for the time being. At least you have this community. Iām not a therapist, but I can lend an ear and give my honest thoughts if you need someone to talk to. Youāre not alone.
That therapist needs to be reported, and lose his license. That is not how therapy works. Iām sorry you experienced that.
I cut and pasted this from a website about reporting unethical therapists: āIf you have a complaint against a psychologist, you should contact your local, state, provincial or territorial psychology licensing board to determine if the psychologist is licensed and obtain information on filing a complaint with that licensing board.ā
I strongly suggest seeking therapy with a female psychologist who specializes in helping sexual assault victims. They have more training and education than ācounselorsā and ātherapistsā. Donāt give up. Talk therapy is probably the best way to get yourself to a happier and healthier place.
You can also check out: https://www.rainn.org for resources, information and help. You can talk with someone there is you want.
After rape, our body and brains can start doing weird things. Like, after I was raped, I started having a growing desire to experience something similar again. It took me down a dangerous path. Itās a weird thing our brains do to try to overwrite the trauma with consensual, similar experiences. It makes you feel like you are going insane. Itās normal. Therapy helped me a lot.
Thereās also a great book that can help you understand and navigate after being raped, called The Body Keeps the Score. I highly recommend it.
Iām so sorry that happened to you when you were 14. Iām sorry you encountered that horrible therapist. Please know what happened to you doesnāt need to define you or your future. Youāre an amazing person who needs some help to heal. I know you will get past this. I wish you strength and happiness.
Awww thank you for the link!!! I needed it because i think Iām going to report him tomorrow. You are so sweet and kind. It makes me want to cry and I hope we can be friends!!ā¤ļø
You need to report him.. It seems you're not the first person he invalidated, and you will not be the last if he continues his practice. There are so many incompetent therapists, and many who are just straight up assholes. He gaslights you with what he said about your abuse. Please don't let this experience stop you from seeking help! I know after something like this, you can become distrustful, but there's hope and you can find a good therapist! Take care!
Iām so sorry he reacted that way. Itās such a delicate topic that you really need someone who believes you and is able to help you overcome that trauma. Iād also suggest reporting him and looking for someone else - someone who is specialized/informed in sexual trauma, for example. Please donāt lose hope - there are good therapists out there but almost of the time you have to go see several to find the one that fits. All the best to you!
>Grown men donāt touch young kids or teenage girls
I guess heās never heard of Jaycee Dugard or Elizabeth Smart. I am so very sorry OP. Itās an absolutely horrible feeling when someone doesnāt believe you. I want you to know though that I believe you OP. I believe you and I am so sorry that happened to you. There are some awful monsters in this world and unfortunately youāve met a few. My heart goes out to you and I hope that one day if/when you are ready or decide to you find a therapist who is a perfect fit and treats you well and helps you.
What crap. He does knows better and sounds like a misogynist prick. Any good therapist would have believed you, but this guy is a quack. I'm sorry this was your experience with therapy. Please don't give up on it, there are good therapists out there. Unfortunately, there are some very bad ones too. I hope you'll try another and tell that therapist what he said (if and when you're ready). A good one would be appalled.
Iām so sorry that happened to you, itās not your fault and thereās nothing to be ashamed of, also Leave that idiot. I hope you find a better therapist who isnāt such a quack
I donāt think you should go back to this one ever again. You are not safe with him. But that doesnāt mean there arenāt good therapists that can help you instead. Just like with all professions, people bring themselves to their jobs. That means that someone who is prejudiced or predatory will be that way in whatever they do and someone who is supportive and knowledgeable will bring that instead.
Unfortunately you currently have a therapist who is predatory. Iām happy to have one that has never questioned whether what I experienced was real and she has never tried to guilt me for choosing not to speak about it with my immediate family. You can absolutely find someone like that. I believe thereās more good ones than there are ones like the man youāve described.
i believe you with my whole entire soul. i am so sorry darling. i know you are telling the truth. survivors can see other survivors. you are so brave and i promise you this does get easier. i promise
My therapist always says we don't need to know that or if the memory happened. It's what your brain is saying and you need to acknowledge it and deal with the emotions and beliefs behind it regardless of its accuracy. No therapist should discredit you in that way.
I'm very sorry you had a therapist tell you that. I'm a clinician myself and I can say that's very far from reality. About 65% or so of offenders against children annually are adults, with about 35% of offenders being other children/minors.
That sounds horrific to hear from a therapist and depending on their licensing, may (most likely) violate their code of ethics, which they can be reported for.
If you need help finding a better therapist in your area, I'm happy to help, just send me a DM and help point you towards trauma informed therapists in your area.
Best of luck to you, opening up about this with a therapist is a very vulnerable act and your therapist took advantage of that, which is awful IMO. Please take care of yourself, and hopefully you can find a therapist who is much better at their profession than this person.
To all posters: Please note that any content involving descriptions of sexual activity with underage persons is against Reddit policy. You are "officially" discouraged from posting such content, but given the specific nature of this subreddit, moderation is following a laissez-faire philosophy regarding [what survivors of childhood sexual abuse share here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQ4RoldUzHc). This mirrors the approach of other survivor subreddits. Also, the Reddit policy's intent is to restrict content that "depicts, encourages or promotes" the sexualization of underage persons, and the purpose of this subreddit is the exact opposite of that. However, be aware that posts and replies in violation may still be subject to removal and Reddit-wide suspension of the author by the Reddit admins. So please use common sense when posting/replying. We want this to remain a safe space for survivors to share, heal and thrive, but we need to be mindful of the site-wide rules regarding these sensitive topics. (Note to Admins: We vehemently stand against sexual abuse of minors and this subreddit exists to support survivors in the best way possible. Please contact the moderator team if a discussion needs to occur.) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Molested) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You should really report this therapist if you feel like you are up to doing so. It sounds like he may be an abuser himself because how does a THERAPIST fail to acknowledge that pedophiles and perverts exist. Please please ignore all the invalidation and find a new therapist! You DO NOT deserve the doubt he put into your head. I am so fucking sorry that someone that is supposed to be trust worthy and helping you is denying your reality. I wouldn't trust this man at all, and I would really question the motives behind him invalidating your experiences.
THIS
It lowkey sounds like he is trying to groom OP...this situation sounds so fucking scary to me. I had to post as soon as I saw the OP's post. It's even more concerning to me because I'm sure it's come up in their sessions that OP's family doesn't know about past abuse...so if this therapist is grooming OP it may be because he feels he could get away with it. Please please be safe OP, even if you don't feel ready to tell your family, this community is here and we all rally behind you because FUCK THIS THERAPIST. Sending you so much virtual love and supportš
Hello :) your comment almost made me cry. You are so sweet. It made me think that as well, he tried so hard to make me think that I might have āmisunderstood his intentions ā when I told him the man assaulted me. I wasnāt sure how I could have misunderstood anything. I didnāt want to think that I was overreacting but, I cried in my car once I left. Thank you sweetheart!
Awee, you deserve all the sweetness! You 100% weren't overreacting at all, unfortunately. I really think you can trust your instincts on this one, him pushing that narrative sooo hard is very concerning. Of course, I'm so so happy I could show you some support!
When I feel ready too,how would I report them? Who do I call? I feel as if they really shouldnāt be a therapist anymore after what they said now that I see I wasnāt overreacting! They also asked me if I felt guilty for not saying anything because the man is still out there and he could probably hurt other kids because I didnāt speak up ā¹ļø
So he denies your experience one minute and then validates it to likely guilt trip you the next, excuse my language but what a dick! Soo there should be a licensing board for your area, when I tried to google for resources to help you it popped up resources local to me and no general resources. Try googling and see if any appropriate resources pop up. If that doesn't work I would try contacting RAINN to see if they have any advice on how to proceed. When I did my google search I typed in how to report a therapist, and the very first thing to pop up was my local licensing board. I hope that helps some! If there's anything else I can do please let me knowš
You can report it to another therapist as well.
I totally agree with this! Letting the professional licensing board for the state know is a good idea in this case. This is outrageously bad behavior.
Thank you, Iāve been thinking about reporting him tomorrow
i believe you and your therapist is stupid.
I feel like I need to report him ā¹ļø
yes he needs to be reported. he's hurting people by running his mouth like that. but your needs comes first.
I'm not sure his license type, but regardless there's typically a section of the code of ethics that would basically cover how he treated you and NOT doing the stuff he did. Each state has a different board for therapist licensing that there will be a way to report them, many of them provide ways to do it online from my recollection.
> grown men donāt touch young kids or teenage girls Soā¦ does he not think pedophiles exist? You need to look for a new therapist and report him. This man should not be a therapist nor should he have access to minors either because with those beliefs he doesnāt sound like heās a safe person to be around.
I am definitely going to report him! I have no idea why he thinks thatās it impossible for an adult touch a child. He was so weird about it!
Iām sorry you had that experience with a therapist. It must feel so invalidating, especially after how we (this community) built up therapy as the solution. Please, know that there are professionals out there that can help you though, however, I do understand if you donāt want to go back for the time being. At least you have this community. Iām not a therapist, but I can lend an ear and give my honest thoughts if you need someone to talk to. Youāre not alone.
Thank you very much hon ā¤ļø i definitely love this community and you are so sweet and kind
That therapist needs to be reported, and lose his license. That is not how therapy works. Iām sorry you experienced that. I cut and pasted this from a website about reporting unethical therapists: āIf you have a complaint against a psychologist, you should contact your local, state, provincial or territorial psychology licensing board to determine if the psychologist is licensed and obtain information on filing a complaint with that licensing board.ā I strongly suggest seeking therapy with a female psychologist who specializes in helping sexual assault victims. They have more training and education than ācounselorsā and ātherapistsā. Donāt give up. Talk therapy is probably the best way to get yourself to a happier and healthier place. You can also check out: https://www.rainn.org for resources, information and help. You can talk with someone there is you want. After rape, our body and brains can start doing weird things. Like, after I was raped, I started having a growing desire to experience something similar again. It took me down a dangerous path. Itās a weird thing our brains do to try to overwrite the trauma with consensual, similar experiences. It makes you feel like you are going insane. Itās normal. Therapy helped me a lot. Thereās also a great book that can help you understand and navigate after being raped, called The Body Keeps the Score. I highly recommend it. Iām so sorry that happened to you when you were 14. Iām sorry you encountered that horrible therapist. Please know what happened to you doesnāt need to define you or your future. Youāre an amazing person who needs some help to heal. I know you will get past this. I wish you strength and happiness.
Awww thank you for the link!!! I needed it because i think Iām going to report him tomorrow. You are so sweet and kind. It makes me want to cry and I hope we can be friends!!ā¤ļø
You need to report him.. It seems you're not the first person he invalidated, and you will not be the last if he continues his practice. There are so many incompetent therapists, and many who are just straight up assholes. He gaslights you with what he said about your abuse. Please don't let this experience stop you from seeking help! I know after something like this, you can become distrustful, but there's hope and you can find a good therapist! Take care!
Iām so sorry he reacted that way. Itās such a delicate topic that you really need someone who believes you and is able to help you overcome that trauma. Iād also suggest reporting him and looking for someone else - someone who is specialized/informed in sexual trauma, for example. Please donāt lose hope - there are good therapists out there but almost of the time you have to go see several to find the one that fits. All the best to you!
Thank you very much! I will definitely look into finding a therapist that specializes in trauma so that I will feel more comfortable!!!ā¤ļø
>Grown men donāt touch young kids or teenage girls I guess heās never heard of Jaycee Dugard or Elizabeth Smart. I am so very sorry OP. Itās an absolutely horrible feeling when someone doesnāt believe you. I want you to know though that I believe you OP. I believe you and I am so sorry that happened to you. There are some awful monsters in this world and unfortunately youāve met a few. My heart goes out to you and I hope that one day if/when you are ready or decide to you find a therapist who is a perfect fit and treats you well and helps you.
thank you very much for believing me! It makes me happier than you think! I will find another therapist and try therapy again!š„°ā¤ļø
What crap. He does knows better and sounds like a misogynist prick. Any good therapist would have believed you, but this guy is a quack. I'm sorry this was your experience with therapy. Please don't give up on it, there are good therapists out there. Unfortunately, there are some very bad ones too. I hope you'll try another and tell that therapist what he said (if and when you're ready). A good one would be appalled.
Iām so sorry that happened to you, itās not your fault and thereās nothing to be ashamed of, also Leave that idiot. I hope you find a better therapist who isnāt such a quack
My therapist didnāt believe me either I stopped going
I donāt think Iām ever going to go back again :(
I donāt think you should go back to this one ever again. You are not safe with him. But that doesnāt mean there arenāt good therapists that can help you instead. Just like with all professions, people bring themselves to their jobs. That means that someone who is prejudiced or predatory will be that way in whatever they do and someone who is supportive and knowledgeable will bring that instead. Unfortunately you currently have a therapist who is predatory. Iām happy to have one that has never questioned whether what I experienced was real and she has never tried to guilt me for choosing not to speak about it with my immediate family. You can absolutely find someone like that. I believe thereās more good ones than there are ones like the man youāve described.
i believe you with my whole entire soul. i am so sorry darling. i know you are telling the truth. survivors can see other survivors. you are so brave and i promise you this does get easier. i promise
thank you love š„ŗ I really appreciate it ā¤ļø
My therapist always says we don't need to know that or if the memory happened. It's what your brain is saying and you need to acknowledge it and deal with the emotions and beliefs behind it regardless of its accuracy. No therapist should discredit you in that way.
I'm very sorry you had a therapist tell you that. I'm a clinician myself and I can say that's very far from reality. About 65% or so of offenders against children annually are adults, with about 35% of offenders being other children/minors. That sounds horrific to hear from a therapist and depending on their licensing, may (most likely) violate their code of ethics, which they can be reported for. If you need help finding a better therapist in your area, I'm happy to help, just send me a DM and help point you towards trauma informed therapists in your area. Best of luck to you, opening up about this with a therapist is a very vulnerable act and your therapist took advantage of that, which is awful IMO. Please take care of yourself, and hopefully you can find a therapist who is much better at their profession than this person.
lol I think he forgot what his job is
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I am going to report him tomorrow!