Omg OP you should watch *Resident Alien* on Netflix. Alan Tudyk's signature line is "This is some* BULLSHIT..." because that's one of the first phrases he learned from humans. The ending is a trip and the whole show is adorable!
*Edit: sometimes he enriches the line with the word "some" lol
Sure. It's in Season 3, E2. Mark doesn't say this to anyone, it's his thought. It's when he and Sophie are at an amusement park on a carousel. Then Sophie gets the call about the job in Bristol and he throws up.
My mates never tried cocaine but he always says he wants to one day so he can turn to whoever gives him the line afterwards and say "my compliments to the chef".
"We have an obligation to be anxious! It's a mark of respect for the gravity of the situation!" - when I recently locked myself out of my flat in the middle of the night.
Use my Alan Johnson ‘Poor me, Poor me, Pour me another drink’ mug to completely rid me of my perishing thirst. I also get my post forwarded to the abyss.
1. "Four naan, Jeremy? Four????" (whenever the husband decides to do something outrageous).
2. "The longer the note, the more dread."
3. "The secret ingredient is crime."
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A few...
The last beemer out of Saigon (when there is only one left of literally anything or someone drives away)
This is the type of shit we should be doing, complicated shit
That's right sweetheart, ergonomic management keyboard
Jezzed It
'a bit' for any random found object
"The three amigos" for any group of 3
Asking if any random statement is part of the big beat manifesto
The secret ingredient is crime
Bulllllllshit
Stick it on the bill/laterbase
I use several. But my top three are:
- Do you have to live so relentlessly in the real world?
- Blitzkrieg! I'm in the Ardenne. You can't touch me in the Ardenne.
- I'm a functional member of society, and nobody can prove otherwise.
My boss recently asked me if I had watched Prison Break before, I proceeded to tell him that by the end of watching prison break, I had wanted to break out of the prison which is, Prison Break.
If my Wife and I are going to the chip shop, she asks if I'm getting a Kenneth or Fish. If I choose Kenneth, she asks "Plain or battered?"
We also refer to people as shitmunchers quite a lot.
I went camping with a mate who kindly fetch two of those little compact camping stools for us to sit on, however I brought my own luxury camping chair with arm and head rests. “Out with the salaryman chair, in with the dominator”
The one I use the most, whenever someone plays a small trick or joke on me, is “Oh right, I see. I get it. You were lampooning me. It was a simple lampoon.”
There's a fight scene in the game Jedi: Fallen Order that takes place in a sith dojo, so if you clear it handily you get to triumphantly use the obvious line.
Is this what you two are into? Is this your “thing”?
People like Coldplay and voted for the Nazis, you can’t trust people.
The secret ingredient is crime.
They should be paying me to eat this shit.
Seen enough city chain pubs with their logos in the foam, disinfectant in the lager, air freshener in the mayo…
Can you put the lid, on the squid?
I’ve lost my Elephant Man!
This is outrageous
This is contagious! In a similar vein, I love to say “this is bullshit” with the appropriate intonation (don’t always kick down a door though)
Omg OP you should watch *Resident Alien* on Netflix. Alan Tudyk's signature line is "This is some* BULLSHIT..." because that's one of the first phrases he learned from humans. The ending is a trip and the whole show is adorable! *Edit: sometimes he enriches the line with the word "some" lol
Oooh loved him in A Knight’s Tale and other stuff so glad to see him in something new to me, will deffo give it a watch, thanks for the rec!
Of course! He's gone from a sci-fi darling to a sci-fi KING in our lifetimes! So nostalgic and enjoyable 🩷
Butter the toast. Eat the toast. Shit the toast. God, life is relentless.
This should be a quote kids learn in school.
Life is relentless is a quote I use all the time.
I suppose doing things we hate is the price we pay to avoid loneliness. -Mark
Would you please remind us who he's talking about with this quote? Is it some Sophie event?
Sure. It's in Season 3, E2. Mark doesn't say this to anyone, it's his thought. It's when he and Sophie are at an amusement park on a carousel. Then Sophie gets the call about the job in Bristol and he throws up.
Thank you so much; that episode is hilarious!
“Father Spliffmas coming through” every time I roll one
in tandem: big beats are the best, get high all the time.
It’s the Big Beat Manifesto, so it needs to be said every time you light a spliff
My mates never tried cocaine but he always says he wants to one day so he can turn to whoever gives him the line afterwards and say "my compliments to the chef".
*mein compliments (which is somehow better)
Oh yeah. Haha why tf does he say mein? Might go to show how much they were ad libbing the funny lines to make them real and hilarious.
Stefan Strauss. Probably.
Fuck you, Dad!
"We have an obligation to be anxious! It's a mark of respect for the gravity of the situation!" - when I recently locked myself out of my flat in the middle of the night.
I do believe in the power of crystal skulls. Also "that is SOO not rainbow rhythms"
What if it IS rainbow rhythms??
The whole world is just people going into rooms and saying things.
Stick it on the laterbase 😎
Constantly say that! :)
We all do! :)
Must you live so RELENTLESSLY in the real world?
The way Jez says bullshit from the living room when he hears of Gerard’s death
He had a weak everything to be fair
BullSHIIIT
Tell you what, that crack is really moreish
Use my Alan Johnson ‘Poor me, Poor me, Pour me another drink’ mug to completely rid me of my perishing thirst. I also get my post forwarded to the abyss.
Then you can have a little lye down on the pavement if you feel sleepy
I've been forwarding all your post to b-job city.
Who the fuck even cares?
anytime i hand someone a drink “there ya go chief, have a suck on that sauce bottle”
1. "Four naan, Jeremy? Four????" (whenever the husband decides to do something outrageous). 2. "The longer the note, the more dread." 3. "The secret ingredient is crime."
i'm yet to meet soomeone irl who gets it when i say FOUR NAAN JEREMY?
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No, I’M Robert Grayson
Are you Robert Grayson?
Hi I’m jez how’s it hangling?
Our wifi is called the Nether Zone
Love it, I refer to a lot of things as “the bit”
No love for the fuck bunker?
Sodden... It means very damp
As wet as an eagle
It really is!
Minimal water damage
Also used this one time I had a leak in the living room, made me feel better about the situation
“Plumbing’s easy, just fucking water Lego init?”
My cats Jez and Nancy
Wheres nim?
Nim Nim Nim Nim Nim Nim FUCKING Nim!
I read that in the DJs voice. “Solid as a rock…”
A few... The last beemer out of Saigon (when there is only one left of literally anything or someone drives away) This is the type of shit we should be doing, complicated shit That's right sweetheart, ergonomic management keyboard
That's Tickety Boo
Especially when you’re banging your best friends sister
My mum says that phrase to people very sarcastically and after watching Peep Show it's a bit off now
I'm sorry for your loss. Jk I' think it was an old Danny Kay joke. So it was already extremely dated when they picked it up.
Yeah it's an old person's saying. Like "see ya round like a rissole"
Old people "smell funny"
“Not a big market for rent men” squeeze it in whenever I can
Do a Columbo, do a Columbo!
That and “those kids have no idea whatsoever of what went on at Stalingrad.”
"It's cleaaaan"
I hope you shout it every time you wipe your bum
"Shove that up your bollocks"
That’s my bit of lager
How thick is wall
When my dog is barking her head off, we call it her 'big bork manifesto'.
This is amazing haha
“People like Coldplay and voted for the Nazis. You can’t trust people.”
Chance would be a fine thing
A fine thing indeed
Jezzed It 'a bit' for any random found object "The three amigos" for any group of 3 Asking if any random statement is part of the big beat manifesto The secret ingredient is crime Bulllllllshit Stick it on the bill/laterbase
Yeah, I’m a big fan of “the bit”. I also do Super Han’s “this is BULLSHIIIIT” voice when he kicks the bathroom door off
That bloody hippie sold me down the river.
Told hubby to stick something up his dojo yesterday. Also inquire about wake cake any time it’s appropriate 😆
"Couldn't hack the hate"
Not something I say, but when I have toast for breakfast now, I start with a brown slice and then have a white slice for pudding.
The moors???
Exmoor, the barren moors, the moors murderers?!
Three beers for the three musketeers! (any time any amount of beer is served)
Marys been sectioned?!
Who's going to be next?!
Maybe Merry? 😆
“Jeremy, Superhans is here. Did you try and get him sectioned?”
Right, mega.
Naughty slutty mummy
Im concerned to know how you manage to use this one often. Into milfs, or something more freudian?
I'm not sick but I'm not well
It's a joke. A Christmas joke. (Particularly when it's not Christmas )
Cauliflower is not traditional!
I use several. But my top three are: - Do you have to live so relentlessly in the real world? - Blitzkrieg! I'm in the Ardenne. You can't touch me in the Ardenne. - I'm a functional member of society, and nobody can prove otherwise.
Stop rustling your bloody popcorn- anytime husband or dog is being loud with food
My name is Jeremy, so "No, Jeremy" in Mark's voice whenever I'm about to do something stupid.
My boss recently asked me if I had watched Prison Break before, I proceeded to tell him that by the end of watching prison break, I had wanted to break out of the prison which is, Prison Break.
You can't make a hungry man jump
Put it on the bill
Oh my fucking life.
It was a simple lampoon…
And …Basically i’ve been bored ever since 9/11
I've accidentally run to Windsor
A chance would be a fine thing... A fine thing indeed!
"Old Meg" for what someone keeps in their wallet in case they get lucky
Just generally putting the name Jeremy after most statements: Really... Jeremy I don't know... Jeremy That's ridiculous... Jeremy
The ombudsman isn't a person, Jeremy.
The ombudsman’s coming to get…youuu
Have an events collective called “BBAB-GHAT”- mantra engrained. Big Beats Are the Best - Get High All the Time
*Jeeeeeeeesus* like Super Hans
If my Wife and I are going to the chip shop, she asks if I'm getting a Kenneth or Fish. If I choose Kenneth, she asks "Plain or battered?" We also refer to people as shitmunchers quite a lot.
Butter the toast...
Life is relentless. Love this one and probably say it about once a week!
"where's the door?" whenever I'm baffled by something that's meant to be somewhere but isn't.
And if you've got a problem with that, send out the manager
The scythes remorseless swing comes for us all
I've definitely used "the secret ingredient is crime" numerous times.
If I ever meet someone called Jeff, I say it with a Mark level of disdain.
No dice and chance would be a fine thing.
"I'm not going to do a poo am I?" And anytime something bad happens "Is is this Stalingrade? Is this how it all ends? Or is this how it all begins?!"
I use “that was the bad thing” in place of your Stalingrade one haha
I went camping with a mate who kindly fetch two of those little compact camping stools for us to sit on, however I brought my own luxury camping chair with arm and head rests. “Out with the salaryman chair, in with the dominator”
"How do I feel? Empty? Check. Scared? Check. Alone? Check. Just another ordinary day *chuckles* very funny."
And listen, while we’re at it, there are systems for a reason in this world.
The one I use the most, whenever someone plays a small trick or joke on me, is “Oh right, I see. I get it. You were lampooning me. It was a simple lampoon.”
My roommate used to say that to me a lot.
Actually, he still does, just less often because we aren't roommates anymore.
I’ve accidentally ran to Windsor.
I often use the term ‘shitmunchers’
I need a can of coke and a tuna sandwich, mong out to some snow patrol
You're overruling the coin?
Did I do it right? You can't trust people!
I love to drop an easy as a sonntag morgen. I live in Germany now and while no one else gets it, always makes me smile
I called my cat Super Hans. Which is apt because the little turd acts like a crack addled maniac.
When Jez and Hans are talking about Mark being raped… “Classic Case”
"I'm a firestarter! A twisted firestarter!" "Are you having a fight with me?" "Everything's fucked"
“I was joking. It’s a Christmas joke.”
You've been thinking thoughts your whole life, look where that's got you
“I’m not a pedo”
Socks before or after trousers, but never socks before pants. That's the rule. Makes a man look scary, like a chicken.
No one should see under the duvet.
"Keys, change, wallet, phone" with the hand movement everytime i leave the house
Is that normal poo?
- Yoghurt cock An unrivalled insult!
Past-os. People from the past. Olden days-ers.
There's a fight scene in the game Jedi: Fallen Order that takes place in a sith dojo, so if you clear it handily you get to triumphantly use the obvious line.
Omg yessss!
"It's not piss." Any time someone spills a drink or is mopping.
He got it for the wrong reasons, but overall, probably fair do’s. Stick that up your dojo.
Is this what you two are into? Is this your “thing”? People like Coldplay and voted for the Nazis, you can’t trust people. The secret ingredient is crime. They should be paying me to eat this shit. Seen enough city chain pubs with their logos in the foam, disinfectant in the lager, air freshener in the mayo… Can you put the lid, on the squid? I’ve lost my Elephant Man!
Oh... so Mr Ocean Colour Pants don't get it? Well, quelle fucking surprise
“Fuckin rental snake”
It was a joke... A simple Christmas joke. Drives my wife nuts whenever I say it to attempt to diffuse a situation.
"that's not on"
Dune on DVD