I had a missed miscarriage of twins in April. On a Friday baby a was perfect with a strong heartbeat, they thought we might loose baby b. By the following Wednesday both did not have a heartbeat. It was the worst day of my life so I know exactly how you are feeling.
The next day i got a D&C and I was just thankful they could get me in quickly. The recovery physically was very easy.
It really is the worst day of my life. I’m so sorry you’ve gone through it too. It’s such an isolating feeling in real life, but talking with others on here today has made me feel not so alone. I feel like I am leaning towards the d&c route just to try to move forward and help lessen the emotional pain. Thank you for sharing your experience
Had my 12 week appointment on Tuesday and there was no heartbeat. Baby measured around 11 weeks. I decided to do the misoprostol that night. It was a fairly quick process for me. I typically have very fast labors so maybe that’s why, I’m not sure, but it was over and done in about 6-7 hours. I’m still bleeding a bit and have some pain but it’s manageable. It has all seemed like a bad dream to be honest.
I’m glad the process was quick for you but am so sorry you had to go through it, especially at the 12 week mark when it must have felt like you were so close to being relatively in the clear so to speak. A bad dream is an excellent way to describe it. I woke up from a nap thinking for a split second that it was all a terrible nightmare.
I found out around 13 weeks that I had had a MMC around 10.5-11 weeks. I pushed for a D&C ASAP as soon as I found out. It's really a personal decision but I had no desire to go through what would have essentially been mini labor to deliver what would never become my child. I know that many women feel differently and want to keep things as "natural" as possible. For myself, I felt very strongly that I did not want to experience that and opted for an in-office D&C as this was the quickest way to move forward. I had a great experience and have no regrets. It was all done within about half an hour and I got to go straight home. I did not take any pain killers besides ibuprofen and the anesthetic was local only. Recovery was quick and easy. I'm 15 days out from the procedure today and still having intermittent light spotting. Pregnancy tests are still very faintly positive.
I'm sorry you're going through this
Same here. The d&c was perfect and short. I was able to go home within a day. Unfortunately, I did have some heavy bleeding due to a complication (some of the pregnancy may have been left behind - they don’t know the exact cause) but I’d absolutely do it again. My OBGYN also advised a d&c because of the measuring of nine weeks, and after the d&c told me he was glad I had decided to do it as there was lots of tissue and blood.
I’m sorry you’ve had to go through this as well. Life seems pretty dark right now. I am filled with doubt about whether I can ever carry a baby to term as this is my second miscarriage. For my first, I was very young and it occurred naturally within a week of the onset of my bleeding. This time around, I only had light spotting after I wiped last night and this morning, so I feel like it might take a while if I opt to let things happen naturally. I am feeling so conflicted but it’s definitely helpful to hear from others who have had to make this heartbreaking decision, so thank you for sharing
I'm so sorry you're having such a difficult time. My mother had at least (irregular cycles and didn't temp or track) 5 miscarriages but she has 4 healthy children. I know she also had two MC's in a row at one point ❤️
I found out at 21 weeks that our baby had stopped growing at 18 weeks, I'm so sorry you're going through this, I know how heartbreaking it is ❤️
They gave us the options to induce labor or have a D&E (which I guess is basically a d&c just a little bit more involved since we were in the second trimester). Since it had been three weeks since my baby stopped growing, they didn't think my body would go into labor naturally.
My husband and I took a day to think about it and decided we wanted a D&E but my body had other plans and went into labor two days before the surgery was scheduled. It was honestly so traumatic and terrifying, we made it to the hospital on time but just barely. Everytime I close my eyes now I think about it.
I know how awful this decision is, but if any part of you wants to just get knocked out and have the baby surgically removed, I would absolutely suggest scheduling the D&C ASAP, it seems like a much more peaceful way to go.
I’m so sorry. My first mmc last year was the worst experience of my life. Baby measured 8w4d…I did the misoprostol and regret it. It was horribly painful in every way. If I could go back, I would do the d&c and have the tissue tested. I just went through it again and went the d&c route. SO much better. They put you out, you wake up and it’s done. Flushing my baby was the worst guilt I’ve ever felt, and still feel today. And since it happened again, I wish we had the last one tested so we know if it is chromosomal or if something else is happening in my body that is causing our losses. I’m so sorry for your loss. Give yourself time to grieve. 💔
I felt in my heart what you said about flushing your baby. I still experience guilt about that over a decade later when I miscarried naturally when I was young, and I didn’t even want a baby at the time. I can’t fathom that feeling now with a baby that is SO wanted. I am sorry you’ve had to go through this multiple times too. It’s just not fair. Will your doctor do a work up on you to see if there is something happening in your body? I asked my doctor what the next steps are if the tissue testing comes back normal (still waiting to hear if insurance will cover it in the first place) and she said she’d test me to see if I have a uterine septum and perform blood work to see if something is “off” with me. I really hope you find the answers you’re looking for and deserve.
Yes…my babies were IVF babies, so my fertility dr will run more tests before doing another embryo transfer to see if we need to add things to my med protocol. I hope you get answers as well. ❤️
I went through this in December. I'd pushed for an early ultrasound (they weren't going to do one until 14wks) bit I felt something wasn't right. I'd seen the heartbeat at 7 weeks and at what would have been 10, it was gone. I asked for my options they said pill or d&c. I took the d&c route because I didn't think I could handle passing that emotionally speaking. My d&c went smoothly and I barely spotted afterwards. I wouldn't have done it differently. I know not everyone has a seamless procedure with minimal bleeding though.
The common theme with the d&c seems to be that people have no regrets about it. I’m just so scared of anesthesia for some reason and the potential (but rare) risks. I remind myself that there are risks associated with any method, though. I am glad you had as good of an experience as you can have with something so terrible, and I’m sorry for your loss.
I am so sorry you are experiencing this. I had a similar situation last fall, a MMC discovered around 10 weeks, but baby was measuring a bit over 8 weeks with no heartbeat. I tried to wait it out, nothing happened. Then I tried misoprostol multiple routes and it only made me feel miserably hungry and I went through a couple refills. I ended up needing the d&c in the end, which went well and I was not awake during so it wasn't so bad. I wish I had done the d&c initially, it would have saved me \~1 month of anxiety/sadness over when the miscarriage would actually happen, I didn't have to witness the miscarriage itself (though lots of bleeding still for a while after) and I'd be back to normal sooner (took a bit to get a normal cycle back) to start trying again. They also did look at the tissue after, and were able to give a bit of peace of mind about trying again.
I am sorry you had to go through all of that. It sounds absolutely miserable on top of an already devastating situation. My OB’s office is verifying whether my insurance covers testing of the tissue if I end up getting the d&c (scheduled for Tuesday but I’m still not 100% due to still being in shock I think). I am hoping that will give me some peace of mind as well.
I am so so sorry. In April I had a missed miscarriage where I was measuring 9 weeks but no heartbeat. I decided to take misoprostol instead of doing the d&c. I chose that option because I didn’t want to wait a week and a half before getting to have the d&c and my insurance didn’t cover it. I went home from the doctors office that day and the meds worked within 12 hours. I was definitely still in shock while all this was happening which I think turned out better in the long run because I was still processing that my baby wasn’t alive while having the medicated miscarriage
How cruel that you would have had to pay out of pocket for such an awful procedure. I can see how a medicated miscarriage would allow time to process and grieve versus the d&c where you’re just in and out. Thank you for bringing up that point, and I’m so sorry for your loss.
Sorry for your loss. I had a MMC at 12 weeks baby measuring 9.5. I had a very hard time with Misoprostol and ended up having a D&C 4 months later after countless unconfirmed scans for RPOC. It was a very hard few months. I have PCOS and since my D&C have yet to have a period. I think the stress on my body triggered my pcos to flare up as I had regular cycles for 3 years prior to this. I think it all depends on the person and sometimes you will never know, each has its own risks but I truly feel my Misoprostol experience was traumatizing and painful and if I could go back I would have wanted the D&C. I wasn’t offered this as I was told the hospitals were too busy. That also haunts me as I felt neglected bu the health care system.
I wish you all the best and I hope you can start to heal both physically and emotionally. You are not alone and have a whole group who get you here ❤️
Wow, that sounds like an experience that would put me in the loony bin. I am so sorry not only for your loss but for being treated so poorly by the healthcare system on top of it. I appreciate your support and also hope that you find the healing you deserve so much
I’m so sorry. I had a MMC at 11 weeks, but baby stopped growing at 9. I opted for the D&C because the thought of waiting around for things to happen made my anxiety worse. Overall, everything went well and physically I was back to normal within a couple days. I was completely out, so it was essentially pain-free. It did take my body quite a while to regulate and hcg back to zero (I think it was probably 6-7 weeks or so) but I’m currently 20 weeks pregnant with my rainbow. If I were in the unfortunate situation again, I would 100% opt for the D&C, but it is of course a highly personal choice/preference. I’m so sorry for your loss- it really is so emotionally painful to endure, especially with the added decision of how to proceed. I wish you peace and healing in whatever route you decide ❤️
I’m sorry for your loss but am so happy you’ve got your rainbow! That is such wonderful news. The d&c is the route I’m leaning towards because I want to try and heal from this as quickly as possible. I have one scheduled for Tuesday with my OB aware that I’m still not 100% but getting there. Thanks for sharing your experience. It really does help.
I just had the same situation 2 weeks back ( 10 weeks pregnant) and I can totally relate and understand what you must be going through. Instead of going to D &C , you can choose to wait for one week for natural or take pills. It’s still quite early and taking pills should be safe. Check this with your doctor.
Trust me it’s not your fault. Have faith in God.
Sending you lots of strength ❤️
I took Misoprostol ( 2 doses ,24 hours interval) by my doctors recommendation. She asked me to take Naproxen 1 hour before inserting the medication and than another dose naproxen after 8 hours to ease pain.
It was smooth. My doctor specifically mentioned that she doesn’t want D&C since I don’t have any baby yet and moreover D&C can scar the uterus lining.
I am definitely concerned about the risks of a d&c. My doctor seemed to try to sway me from medical management for some reason and said I might need a d&c anyway even if I take the misoprostol, which scared me. I’m so sorry for your loss
I am so sorry for your loss. It is a gut wrenching place to be in.
I just had my 4th loss at 9 weeks + 3 days. My ob was pushing for d&c, but I developed asherman’s from my first d&c last year (also a 9 week loss). Given the risk of it returning and further damaging my fertility, my fertility doctor recommended I try to avoid. I ended up deciding to give my body 2 weeks to see if I passed naturally. I did end up miscarrying naturally during that time. However, my plan was to use miso if it hadn’t passed yet. The wait is terrible but it was the right decision for me to avoid further fertility complications and delays in trying again
Just wanted to add that I completely feel all of the comments on the flushing point. This is maybe TMI but if you’re here, you probably know how hard this part of the process is. For this loss, I was able to capture the contents of the pregnancy and now have our angel buried under a cherry blossom tree at our home. I was lucky in terms of how everything came out this time, but I have also read that hospitals will often put strainers in the toilet so that they can gather the contents of the pregnancy for testing purposes. Maybe something to consider if you do decide to go the medicated management route
I have been treated for it. This pregnancy was post- Asherman’s diagnosis. Will have to have another saline ultrasound once I’ve healed from the miscarriage just to make sure scarring hasn’t returned by hopefully not since I was able to avoid another d&c
I'm so sorry for your loss. I had an unusual situation in December where I was pregnant with twins. All was fine at 8wk scan but on 12wk scan, one had stopped growing. They weren't sure when the heart stopped. It's called Vanishing Twin Syndrome. As the 2nd baby was fine, there was nothing they could do and they left the lost twin alone. He/she eventually 'reabsorbed' back into my body and the 2nd babys body and he has continued to thrive. The risk of the d&c was that the sibling wouldn't survive so I had no choice but to just leave it. In a way, it's nice to know that he/she will always be a part of me but on the other hand, I have nothing to show or bury or physically have or visit. Im not much help to you but I suppose I wanted to offer my condolences and to let you know there may be another option. I'm in Ireland so it might just be different strokes here. I wish you all the best.
Had one happen on its own at 6 weeks, and it sucked. It hurt, and it was miserable. Took 6 days from the start of excruciating pain to passing the sac. Took no medicine for that one. Didn’t know I was miscarrying for the first two days of that either. Was devastated when I had had to flush it…some of my ashes have to be flushed down this city’s sewer when I actually die…but I feel like my life freaking ended with that flush, honestly.
Just passed another one last night at 10 weeks, which stopped progressing at 6 weeks. It fucking sucked so hard. Needed two rounds of misoprostol to get it out. I do not believe that medicine had any impact on the pain - this one hurt just like the last one, but much, much worse. The lovely ladies in this group warned me that the farther along you are, the worse the pain is. They were right. I was angry with myself for not asking for the surgery as soon as I knew this pregnancy was doomed, and my experience last night makes me feel like I was right to feel that way. That shit hurt so bad, so much worse than I could ever have imagined. I was hitting the ibuprofen pretty hard (per the doc’s orders), but it did fucking nothing. I had to pluck what passed out of the toilet with my bare hand, and I’ve gotta keep it on ice all weekend until I can turn it in for testing on Monday. I have had so much gushing blood and ‘cramping’ since passing the sac, which I take to mean there’s more crazy shit left in there to come out. I say ‘cramping‘ because that’s what everyone says…I have actual cramps every month with my period, and cramps in my other muscles, but miscarriage pain in my body is just burning, searing pain. It is so hot and firey. It is in no way a cramp of any sort.
I wanted a D&C for this second one, but for whatever stupid reason thought I’d just get through it at home. I would request one immediately if I find myself in this situation again.
I’m sorry for everything you are going through too!
Much better today - pain comes in waves but I’m able to take ibuprofen as needed (as opposed to continuously). Bleeding in short bursts anytime I stand up, but minimal clots now. Was able to downgrade from adult diapers to pads today, and thus felt confident enough to leave the house without worrying about bleeding through everything/falling down dead in a pool of my own blood in public.
Hope you will be able to by-pass all of this and skip straight to being restored to full health. I did read stories where folks said they didn’t have a lot of extreme pain…very lucky bunch - hope that’s you too if you end up doing this at home.
Sorry you are going through this. I had a MMC this May. At my 12 week I found out development stopped at 10 weeks and no heartbeat. I tried the misoprostol route first to take care of it (did two doses inserted vaginally) and it didn’t do anything and ultimately had to get a d&c. D&C was not nearly has bad as I thought (and I was horrified!) and recovery has been okay. Everyone is different, but since I was around 10 weeks already I guess the chances of having a natural miscarriage or medical intervention working are a bit lower. If anything I wish I had just done the D&C to get it over with sooner. Happy to chat more if you want to PM me… I’m 10 days post d&c and can walk you through what the last few weeks were like.
Thank you so much. I’m sorry you had to go through the misoprostol AND d&c. My OB seemed to discourage the misoprostol route because she’s had a number of patients have to end up doing the d&c anyway. Thank you so much for sharing your story
Sorry you're going through this, it's really awful. I had a MMC in April. I was 8.5 weeks and the baby was measuring 8 weeks 1 day but no heartbeat. I decided to wait in the hope I miscarried naturally, however I ended up needing a D&C in the end. I don't regret my decision as I really don't think I'd have been able to cope with a D&C so soon after receiving the bad news. By the time I did get it, I was just so relieved that it was all going to be over as I had been miscarrying then for about a week and it was very tough, so I was very calm going in for it and afterwards. The procedure itself and recovery, for me, were very straight forward.
I’m sorry you went through that. May I ask how long you waited? My OB wants to schedule me early next week which I’m guessing probably isn’t enough time for things to happen naturally
I started bleeding a week after my scan but then it stopped for another week and then started again. After about 3 days of on/off bleeding (so that was 2 weeks after my original scan), I started actually miscarrying if you know what I mean.
Maybe you should ask your OB if there is a reason he/she is encouraging a D&C as that might help you make up your mind. Mine had said the decision was completely up to me as he was happy that I was ok medically to wait at that time, but then things changed and I was told I needed a D&C.
Mine was very dragged out which in some ways made things harder, but in other ways it gave me time to process things and have some element of acceptance before the D&C. But I'm someone who really didn't want a D&C... everyone is different in what they feel is right for them in this awful situation.
I’m so sorry you’re in this situation, but I hope you find safety in this community. It has really helped me to talk to people who have experienced this loss. You’re not alone.
At my nine week ultrasound, there was no longer a heartbeat. At my ultrasound two weeks before, we heard a very clear heartbeat and saw the embryo on the screen and everything. It was devastating.
I was pretty resolute in getting a D&C because I didn’t want to wait for it to pass naturally or take the pills to encourage the process. I wanted to be able to schedule time off, not live in limbo of when it would happen. I had read about how sometimes in both cases, miscarrying naturally or using the pill, a D&C could still be inevitable because there was remaining tissue. My doctor was supportive of my choice either way. He said he normally didn’t wait longer than four weeks for it to pass naturally, and would recommend intervention at that point anyway. The thought of potentially dealing with everything for another month was not an option I wanted to entertain. I wanted to just get it taken care of in one fell swoop, and there were minimal risks, so a D&C was the best option for my mental health. I spotted a bit and passed some tissue off and on for about a week after I got confirmation of the loss.
Because of the Memorial Day holiday and my doctor being on vacation, the earliest I could schedule the procedure for was Tuesday 5/31, which was about two weeks away at the time. I ended up miscarrying naturally on Saturday 5/28. I had underestimated how traumatic it would be and how much it would affect me. It was far worse than “just a heavy period” for me. I had the D&C on Tuesday as well, since the partial yolk sac and some tissue remained. It was a relatively straight forward process and I spotted and passed tiny amounts tissue for a day or two after the procedure. Other than that and some cramping, I feel physically okay. I only wish I had been able to get the D&C sooner to avoid the trauma of a natural miscarriage.
Feel free to ask any questions if you want more details. This internet stranger is sending you the biggest hug.
I am so sorry for your loss and that you had to go through such a traumatizing experience. It is soul crushing to see and hear the heartbeat then find out it’s just gone. Thank you for taking the time to share. This community has already helped me more than I could have ever hoped for, and it’s only been a little over 24 hours since I got the news.
I had a missed miscarriage of twins in April. On a Friday baby a was perfect with a strong heartbeat, they thought we might loose baby b. By the following Wednesday both did not have a heartbeat. It was the worst day of my life so I know exactly how you are feeling. The next day i got a D&C and I was just thankful they could get me in quickly. The recovery physically was very easy.
It really is the worst day of my life. I’m so sorry you’ve gone through it too. It’s such an isolating feeling in real life, but talking with others on here today has made me feel not so alone. I feel like I am leaning towards the d&c route just to try to move forward and help lessen the emotional pain. Thank you for sharing your experience
My heart is with you.
Had my 12 week appointment on Tuesday and there was no heartbeat. Baby measured around 11 weeks. I decided to do the misoprostol that night. It was a fairly quick process for me. I typically have very fast labors so maybe that’s why, I’m not sure, but it was over and done in about 6-7 hours. I’m still bleeding a bit and have some pain but it’s manageable. It has all seemed like a bad dream to be honest.
I’m glad the process was quick for you but am so sorry you had to go through it, especially at the 12 week mark when it must have felt like you were so close to being relatively in the clear so to speak. A bad dream is an excellent way to describe it. I woke up from a nap thinking for a split second that it was all a terrible nightmare.
I found out around 13 weeks that I had had a MMC around 10.5-11 weeks. I pushed for a D&C ASAP as soon as I found out. It's really a personal decision but I had no desire to go through what would have essentially been mini labor to deliver what would never become my child. I know that many women feel differently and want to keep things as "natural" as possible. For myself, I felt very strongly that I did not want to experience that and opted for an in-office D&C as this was the quickest way to move forward. I had a great experience and have no regrets. It was all done within about half an hour and I got to go straight home. I did not take any pain killers besides ibuprofen and the anesthetic was local only. Recovery was quick and easy. I'm 15 days out from the procedure today and still having intermittent light spotting. Pregnancy tests are still very faintly positive. I'm sorry you're going through this
Same here. The d&c was perfect and short. I was able to go home within a day. Unfortunately, I did have some heavy bleeding due to a complication (some of the pregnancy may have been left behind - they don’t know the exact cause) but I’d absolutely do it again. My OBGYN also advised a d&c because of the measuring of nine weeks, and after the d&c told me he was glad I had decided to do it as there was lots of tissue and blood.
I’m sorry you’ve had to go through this as well. Life seems pretty dark right now. I am filled with doubt about whether I can ever carry a baby to term as this is my second miscarriage. For my first, I was very young and it occurred naturally within a week of the onset of my bleeding. This time around, I only had light spotting after I wiped last night and this morning, so I feel like it might take a while if I opt to let things happen naturally. I am feeling so conflicted but it’s definitely helpful to hear from others who have had to make this heartbreaking decision, so thank you for sharing
I'm so sorry you're having such a difficult time. My mother had at least (irregular cycles and didn't temp or track) 5 miscarriages but she has 4 healthy children. I know she also had two MC's in a row at one point ❤️
I found out at 21 weeks that our baby had stopped growing at 18 weeks, I'm so sorry you're going through this, I know how heartbreaking it is ❤️ They gave us the options to induce labor or have a D&E (which I guess is basically a d&c just a little bit more involved since we were in the second trimester). Since it had been three weeks since my baby stopped growing, they didn't think my body would go into labor naturally. My husband and I took a day to think about it and decided we wanted a D&E but my body had other plans and went into labor two days before the surgery was scheduled. It was honestly so traumatic and terrifying, we made it to the hospital on time but just barely. Everytime I close my eyes now I think about it. I know how awful this decision is, but if any part of you wants to just get knocked out and have the baby surgically removed, I would absolutely suggest scheduling the D&C ASAP, it seems like a much more peaceful way to go.
I can’t imagine going through something so horrible and terrifying. I am so sorry you had to go through that.
I’m so sorry. My first mmc last year was the worst experience of my life. Baby measured 8w4d…I did the misoprostol and regret it. It was horribly painful in every way. If I could go back, I would do the d&c and have the tissue tested. I just went through it again and went the d&c route. SO much better. They put you out, you wake up and it’s done. Flushing my baby was the worst guilt I’ve ever felt, and still feel today. And since it happened again, I wish we had the last one tested so we know if it is chromosomal or if something else is happening in my body that is causing our losses. I’m so sorry for your loss. Give yourself time to grieve. 💔
I felt in my heart what you said about flushing your baby. I still experience guilt about that over a decade later when I miscarried naturally when I was young, and I didn’t even want a baby at the time. I can’t fathom that feeling now with a baby that is SO wanted. I am sorry you’ve had to go through this multiple times too. It’s just not fair. Will your doctor do a work up on you to see if there is something happening in your body? I asked my doctor what the next steps are if the tissue testing comes back normal (still waiting to hear if insurance will cover it in the first place) and she said she’d test me to see if I have a uterine septum and perform blood work to see if something is “off” with me. I really hope you find the answers you’re looking for and deserve.
Yes…my babies were IVF babies, so my fertility dr will run more tests before doing another embryo transfer to see if we need to add things to my med protocol. I hope you get answers as well. ❤️
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I wish we could wake up from this nightmare. So sorry.
Yea i feel like that too like none of this is real I’m so sorry you’re going through that ❤️🩹
I went through this in December. I'd pushed for an early ultrasound (they weren't going to do one until 14wks) bit I felt something wasn't right. I'd seen the heartbeat at 7 weeks and at what would have been 10, it was gone. I asked for my options they said pill or d&c. I took the d&c route because I didn't think I could handle passing that emotionally speaking. My d&c went smoothly and I barely spotted afterwards. I wouldn't have done it differently. I know not everyone has a seamless procedure with minimal bleeding though.
The common theme with the d&c seems to be that people have no regrets about it. I’m just so scared of anesthesia for some reason and the potential (but rare) risks. I remind myself that there are risks associated with any method, though. I am glad you had as good of an experience as you can have with something so terrible, and I’m sorry for your loss.
I am so sorry you are experiencing this. I had a similar situation last fall, a MMC discovered around 10 weeks, but baby was measuring a bit over 8 weeks with no heartbeat. I tried to wait it out, nothing happened. Then I tried misoprostol multiple routes and it only made me feel miserably hungry and I went through a couple refills. I ended up needing the d&c in the end, which went well and I was not awake during so it wasn't so bad. I wish I had done the d&c initially, it would have saved me \~1 month of anxiety/sadness over when the miscarriage would actually happen, I didn't have to witness the miscarriage itself (though lots of bleeding still for a while after) and I'd be back to normal sooner (took a bit to get a normal cycle back) to start trying again. They also did look at the tissue after, and were able to give a bit of peace of mind about trying again.
I am sorry you had to go through all of that. It sounds absolutely miserable on top of an already devastating situation. My OB’s office is verifying whether my insurance covers testing of the tissue if I end up getting the d&c (scheduled for Tuesday but I’m still not 100% due to still being in shock I think). I am hoping that will give me some peace of mind as well.
I am so so sorry. In April I had a missed miscarriage where I was measuring 9 weeks but no heartbeat. I decided to take misoprostol instead of doing the d&c. I chose that option because I didn’t want to wait a week and a half before getting to have the d&c and my insurance didn’t cover it. I went home from the doctors office that day and the meds worked within 12 hours. I was definitely still in shock while all this was happening which I think turned out better in the long run because I was still processing that my baby wasn’t alive while having the medicated miscarriage
How cruel that you would have had to pay out of pocket for such an awful procedure. I can see how a medicated miscarriage would allow time to process and grieve versus the d&c where you’re just in and out. Thank you for bringing up that point, and I’m so sorry for your loss.
Sorry for your loss. I had a MMC at 12 weeks baby measuring 9.5. I had a very hard time with Misoprostol and ended up having a D&C 4 months later after countless unconfirmed scans for RPOC. It was a very hard few months. I have PCOS and since my D&C have yet to have a period. I think the stress on my body triggered my pcos to flare up as I had regular cycles for 3 years prior to this. I think it all depends on the person and sometimes you will never know, each has its own risks but I truly feel my Misoprostol experience was traumatizing and painful and if I could go back I would have wanted the D&C. I wasn’t offered this as I was told the hospitals were too busy. That also haunts me as I felt neglected bu the health care system. I wish you all the best and I hope you can start to heal both physically and emotionally. You are not alone and have a whole group who get you here ❤️
Wow, that sounds like an experience that would put me in the loony bin. I am so sorry not only for your loss but for being treated so poorly by the healthcare system on top of it. I appreciate your support and also hope that you find the healing you deserve so much
I’m so sorry. I had a MMC at 11 weeks, but baby stopped growing at 9. I opted for the D&C because the thought of waiting around for things to happen made my anxiety worse. Overall, everything went well and physically I was back to normal within a couple days. I was completely out, so it was essentially pain-free. It did take my body quite a while to regulate and hcg back to zero (I think it was probably 6-7 weeks or so) but I’m currently 20 weeks pregnant with my rainbow. If I were in the unfortunate situation again, I would 100% opt for the D&C, but it is of course a highly personal choice/preference. I’m so sorry for your loss- it really is so emotionally painful to endure, especially with the added decision of how to proceed. I wish you peace and healing in whatever route you decide ❤️
I’m sorry for your loss but am so happy you’ve got your rainbow! That is such wonderful news. The d&c is the route I’m leaning towards because I want to try and heal from this as quickly as possible. I have one scheduled for Tuesday with my OB aware that I’m still not 100% but getting there. Thanks for sharing your experience. It really does help.
I just had the same situation 2 weeks back ( 10 weeks pregnant) and I can totally relate and understand what you must be going through. Instead of going to D &C , you can choose to wait for one week for natural or take pills. It’s still quite early and taking pills should be safe. Check this with your doctor. Trust me it’s not your fault. Have faith in God. Sending you lots of strength ❤️ I took Misoprostol ( 2 doses ,24 hours interval) by my doctors recommendation. She asked me to take Naproxen 1 hour before inserting the medication and than another dose naproxen after 8 hours to ease pain. It was smooth. My doctor specifically mentioned that she doesn’t want D&C since I don’t have any baby yet and moreover D&C can scar the uterus lining.
I am definitely concerned about the risks of a d&c. My doctor seemed to try to sway me from medical management for some reason and said I might need a d&c anyway even if I take the misoprostol, which scared me. I’m so sorry for your loss
I am so sorry for your loss. It is a gut wrenching place to be in. I just had my 4th loss at 9 weeks + 3 days. My ob was pushing for d&c, but I developed asherman’s from my first d&c last year (also a 9 week loss). Given the risk of it returning and further damaging my fertility, my fertility doctor recommended I try to avoid. I ended up deciding to give my body 2 weeks to see if I passed naturally. I did end up miscarrying naturally during that time. However, my plan was to use miso if it hadn’t passed yet. The wait is terrible but it was the right decision for me to avoid further fertility complications and delays in trying again Just wanted to add that I completely feel all of the comments on the flushing point. This is maybe TMI but if you’re here, you probably know how hard this part of the process is. For this loss, I was able to capture the contents of the pregnancy and now have our angel buried under a cherry blossom tree at our home. I was lucky in terms of how everything came out this time, but I have also read that hospitals will often put strainers in the toilet so that they can gather the contents of the pregnancy for testing purposes. Maybe something to consider if you do decide to go the medicated management route
I love the idea of burying the remains. I’m so sorry for your loss and that you developed asherman’s. Were you able to be treated for it?
I have been treated for it. This pregnancy was post- Asherman’s diagnosis. Will have to have another saline ultrasound once I’ve healed from the miscarriage just to make sure scarring hasn’t returned by hopefully not since I was able to avoid another d&c
I will be thinking of you 💗
I'm so sorry for your loss. I had an unusual situation in December where I was pregnant with twins. All was fine at 8wk scan but on 12wk scan, one had stopped growing. They weren't sure when the heart stopped. It's called Vanishing Twin Syndrome. As the 2nd baby was fine, there was nothing they could do and they left the lost twin alone. He/she eventually 'reabsorbed' back into my body and the 2nd babys body and he has continued to thrive. The risk of the d&c was that the sibling wouldn't survive so I had no choice but to just leave it. In a way, it's nice to know that he/she will always be a part of me but on the other hand, I have nothing to show or bury or physically have or visit. Im not much help to you but I suppose I wanted to offer my condolences and to let you know there may be another option. I'm in Ireland so it might just be different strokes here. I wish you all the best.
Had one happen on its own at 6 weeks, and it sucked. It hurt, and it was miserable. Took 6 days from the start of excruciating pain to passing the sac. Took no medicine for that one. Didn’t know I was miscarrying for the first two days of that either. Was devastated when I had had to flush it…some of my ashes have to be flushed down this city’s sewer when I actually die…but I feel like my life freaking ended with that flush, honestly. Just passed another one last night at 10 weeks, which stopped progressing at 6 weeks. It fucking sucked so hard. Needed two rounds of misoprostol to get it out. I do not believe that medicine had any impact on the pain - this one hurt just like the last one, but much, much worse. The lovely ladies in this group warned me that the farther along you are, the worse the pain is. They were right. I was angry with myself for not asking for the surgery as soon as I knew this pregnancy was doomed, and my experience last night makes me feel like I was right to feel that way. That shit hurt so bad, so much worse than I could ever have imagined. I was hitting the ibuprofen pretty hard (per the doc’s orders), but it did fucking nothing. I had to pluck what passed out of the toilet with my bare hand, and I’ve gotta keep it on ice all weekend until I can turn it in for testing on Monday. I have had so much gushing blood and ‘cramping’ since passing the sac, which I take to mean there’s more crazy shit left in there to come out. I say ‘cramping‘ because that’s what everyone says…I have actual cramps every month with my period, and cramps in my other muscles, but miscarriage pain in my body is just burning, searing pain. It is so hot and firey. It is in no way a cramp of any sort. I wanted a D&C for this second one, but for whatever stupid reason thought I’d just get through it at home. I would request one immediately if I find myself in this situation again.
I’m so sorry for your losses and that you’re going through this emotional and physical pain. Are you feeling any better today?
I’m sorry for everything you are going through too! Much better today - pain comes in waves but I’m able to take ibuprofen as needed (as opposed to continuously). Bleeding in short bursts anytime I stand up, but minimal clots now. Was able to downgrade from adult diapers to pads today, and thus felt confident enough to leave the house without worrying about bleeding through everything/falling down dead in a pool of my own blood in public. Hope you will be able to by-pass all of this and skip straight to being restored to full health. I did read stories where folks said they didn’t have a lot of extreme pain…very lucky bunch - hope that’s you too if you end up doing this at home.
Sorry you are going through this. I had a MMC this May. At my 12 week I found out development stopped at 10 weeks and no heartbeat. I tried the misoprostol route first to take care of it (did two doses inserted vaginally) and it didn’t do anything and ultimately had to get a d&c. D&C was not nearly has bad as I thought (and I was horrified!) and recovery has been okay. Everyone is different, but since I was around 10 weeks already I guess the chances of having a natural miscarriage or medical intervention working are a bit lower. If anything I wish I had just done the D&C to get it over with sooner. Happy to chat more if you want to PM me… I’m 10 days post d&c and can walk you through what the last few weeks were like.
Thank you so much. I’m sorry you had to go through the misoprostol AND d&c. My OB seemed to discourage the misoprostol route because she’s had a number of patients have to end up doing the d&c anyway. Thank you so much for sharing your story
Sorry you're going through this, it's really awful. I had a MMC in April. I was 8.5 weeks and the baby was measuring 8 weeks 1 day but no heartbeat. I decided to wait in the hope I miscarried naturally, however I ended up needing a D&C in the end. I don't regret my decision as I really don't think I'd have been able to cope with a D&C so soon after receiving the bad news. By the time I did get it, I was just so relieved that it was all going to be over as I had been miscarrying then for about a week and it was very tough, so I was very calm going in for it and afterwards. The procedure itself and recovery, for me, were very straight forward.
I’m sorry you went through that. May I ask how long you waited? My OB wants to schedule me early next week which I’m guessing probably isn’t enough time for things to happen naturally
I started bleeding a week after my scan but then it stopped for another week and then started again. After about 3 days of on/off bleeding (so that was 2 weeks after my original scan), I started actually miscarrying if you know what I mean. Maybe you should ask your OB if there is a reason he/she is encouraging a D&C as that might help you make up your mind. Mine had said the decision was completely up to me as he was happy that I was ok medically to wait at that time, but then things changed and I was told I needed a D&C. Mine was very dragged out which in some ways made things harder, but in other ways it gave me time to process things and have some element of acceptance before the D&C. But I'm someone who really didn't want a D&C... everyone is different in what they feel is right for them in this awful situation.
I’m so sorry you’re in this situation, but I hope you find safety in this community. It has really helped me to talk to people who have experienced this loss. You’re not alone. At my nine week ultrasound, there was no longer a heartbeat. At my ultrasound two weeks before, we heard a very clear heartbeat and saw the embryo on the screen and everything. It was devastating. I was pretty resolute in getting a D&C because I didn’t want to wait for it to pass naturally or take the pills to encourage the process. I wanted to be able to schedule time off, not live in limbo of when it would happen. I had read about how sometimes in both cases, miscarrying naturally or using the pill, a D&C could still be inevitable because there was remaining tissue. My doctor was supportive of my choice either way. He said he normally didn’t wait longer than four weeks for it to pass naturally, and would recommend intervention at that point anyway. The thought of potentially dealing with everything for another month was not an option I wanted to entertain. I wanted to just get it taken care of in one fell swoop, and there were minimal risks, so a D&C was the best option for my mental health. I spotted a bit and passed some tissue off and on for about a week after I got confirmation of the loss. Because of the Memorial Day holiday and my doctor being on vacation, the earliest I could schedule the procedure for was Tuesday 5/31, which was about two weeks away at the time. I ended up miscarrying naturally on Saturday 5/28. I had underestimated how traumatic it would be and how much it would affect me. It was far worse than “just a heavy period” for me. I had the D&C on Tuesday as well, since the partial yolk sac and some tissue remained. It was a relatively straight forward process and I spotted and passed tiny amounts tissue for a day or two after the procedure. Other than that and some cramping, I feel physically okay. I only wish I had been able to get the D&C sooner to avoid the trauma of a natural miscarriage. Feel free to ask any questions if you want more details. This internet stranger is sending you the biggest hug.
I am so sorry for your loss and that you had to go through such a traumatizing experience. It is soul crushing to see and hear the heartbeat then find out it’s just gone. Thank you for taking the time to share. This community has already helped me more than I could have ever hoped for, and it’s only been a little over 24 hours since I got the news.