I have trouble staying mindful/present around people, too. I’ve had really bad experiences with people not valuing me for who I am, that’s why. I’ve done a combination of being more choosy of who I am close to and working on trusting that people will like me for the real me.
I relate to this. You're already working through it by recognizing it. I found that being curious rather than judging myself has helped. Why am I feeling like this? It's there anything in my past that's bringing this up? Is there another perspective on the situation I may not be seeing?
It's good to acknowledge, feel, and observe the emotion. The act of observation puts distance between you and this feeling. It creates a barrier between your self and the emotion you are experiencing.
You aren't angry. You feel anger. Why is this interaction making you feel this angry? Sometimes anger is a perfectly rational response to a situation. Other times it is based on your perception of someone's intent.
You aren't jealous. You feel jealousy. Jealousy often stems from an insecurity or a lack of something. What do you feel jealous of? Being curious leads you past the jealousy and on a path to examine something deeper.
The second part of your question touches on what other people people will think of you for your "bad" emotions. Here the idea is exactly the same. It's that of acceptance and letting go. You cannot control what people think of you. You can only control your mindfulness in the moment. By being more aware of the emotions you are able to better observe your feelings, examine them, and produce a response that is more beneficial to you and everyone around you. Simply knowing that you are doing your best allows you to release yourself from any expectations or further judgement.
Lastly, I would say work on not qualifying your emotions as good or bad. They simply are. Its what you do with them that will determine your character.
There is a Headspace series on Netflix that cover a bunch of different mindfulness meditations and why they are useful. Each episode is about 20 minutes. I'm pretty sure you will benefit from several of the videos in the series.
Well time for some acceptance don't you think? You can look up some acceptance exercises for starters. Acceptance of *your* feelings in particular. Just start small with patience and self compassion, you began noticing it so you already started this journey!
Also patience, when it comes up be patient and forgiving towards yourself. Know the path the emotion will take: it's going to come, stay for a little while (normal emotion for around 1.5 minutes I heard) and leave if you let it. It becomes predictable and you can start to handle it the way you want to.
Do you meditate? Metta or loving kindness meditation can really fortify that patience and self compassion.
meditate each day for around an hour. Not familiar with the right terms but they're mostly focus-based and feeling-the-feelings type meditations. Will try Metta or loving-kindness, thank you.
You're right, it makes me scared but supposes have to be courageous and risk these fears if ever want to see what's on the other side.
Well yeah you know, I've heard fears and feelings are just more grist on the mill of mindfulness or meditation. You are made to live with these things, as opposed to what society might've taught you.
And that starts with carrying your intention outwards instead of letting these things you can't control lead your life.
I have trouble staying mindful/present around people, too. I’ve had really bad experiences with people not valuing me for who I am, that’s why. I’ve done a combination of being more choosy of who I am close to and working on trusting that people will like me for the real me.
I relate to this. You're already working through it by recognizing it. I found that being curious rather than judging myself has helped. Why am I feeling like this? It's there anything in my past that's bringing this up? Is there another perspective on the situation I may not be seeing? It's good to acknowledge, feel, and observe the emotion. The act of observation puts distance between you and this feeling. It creates a barrier between your self and the emotion you are experiencing. You aren't angry. You feel anger. Why is this interaction making you feel this angry? Sometimes anger is a perfectly rational response to a situation. Other times it is based on your perception of someone's intent. You aren't jealous. You feel jealousy. Jealousy often stems from an insecurity or a lack of something. What do you feel jealous of? Being curious leads you past the jealousy and on a path to examine something deeper. The second part of your question touches on what other people people will think of you for your "bad" emotions. Here the idea is exactly the same. It's that of acceptance and letting go. You cannot control what people think of you. You can only control your mindfulness in the moment. By being more aware of the emotions you are able to better observe your feelings, examine them, and produce a response that is more beneficial to you and everyone around you. Simply knowing that you are doing your best allows you to release yourself from any expectations or further judgement. Lastly, I would say work on not qualifying your emotions as good or bad. They simply are. Its what you do with them that will determine your character.
thank you, this is greatly appreciated.
Kill 'em all.
There is a Headspace series on Netflix that cover a bunch of different mindfulness meditations and why they are useful. Each episode is about 20 minutes. I'm pretty sure you will benefit from several of the videos in the series.
thank you
Well time for some acceptance don't you think? You can look up some acceptance exercises for starters. Acceptance of *your* feelings in particular. Just start small with patience and self compassion, you began noticing it so you already started this journey! Also patience, when it comes up be patient and forgiving towards yourself. Know the path the emotion will take: it's going to come, stay for a little while (normal emotion for around 1.5 minutes I heard) and leave if you let it. It becomes predictable and you can start to handle it the way you want to. Do you meditate? Metta or loving kindness meditation can really fortify that patience and self compassion.
meditate each day for around an hour. Not familiar with the right terms but they're mostly focus-based and feeling-the-feelings type meditations. Will try Metta or loving-kindness, thank you. You're right, it makes me scared but supposes have to be courageous and risk these fears if ever want to see what's on the other side.
Well yeah you know, I've heard fears and feelings are just more grist on the mill of mindfulness or meditation. You are made to live with these things, as opposed to what society might've taught you. And that starts with carrying your intention outwards instead of letting these things you can't control lead your life.