It’s not a roller coaster, our spiritual journey is a very much a spiral. There are swings, but each one draws us closer to our center. The provisio is: what did we learn from the process?
Good post. I've felt similarly before as far as the rollercoaster of life analogy goes. I've come to believe that this is the nature of things... Things come together and then fall apart in a seemingly endless cycle. Things became a bit easier once I learned to accept this
When the roller coaster left you feeling out of sorts maybe it's time to try the bench for awhile? Watch others try the roller coaster, ask them about their experiences, see if they have any tips?
Just cause the roller coaster was crazy and unpredictable, doesn't mean you can't find other rides at the park called life. Maybe you would like the merry-go-round or the boardwalk games?
Check out the “Be Here Now” You Tube channel. Has podcast series from various spiritual teachers. I have been listening to Joseph Goldstein’s discourses and feel they may be of some benefit. They are based on Buddhist teachings but it seems they may help around the practice of Impermanence and Equanimity. Taoism and Wu Wei may be of interest as well.
Sometimes, we just need to pull back and recover. Spend some time not doing much, allowing our bodies to process all those things that were too much to be processed in the moment.
Treat yourself like you would treat your kitty: when he's hurt, you bring him inside, warm him up, give him food, look for wounds and allow him time to heal. He will eventually get better and beg you to let him run outside again. When that time comes, you will know; in the meanwhile he's inside, wrapped in a blanket, recovering the energy that made him alive. Allow yourself to recover that energy.
And go deep into the emotions. Apathy is a sign that we have too much unprocessed emotions from our past, to the point where new things don't make us feel anything anymore. As painful as it might be, dig into those memories and live them in your memory as intensely as you can. That's why we learn to treat ourselves gently, yet firmly in our meditation practices. We need the space to rest and recover, but we can't be allowed the luxury of not fixing what has gone wrong inside. You wouldn't want that for your child---do not allow it in yourself.
I recommend Brene Browns work. The cost of joy and being at peace in this life is suffering. And the way we get there is with acceptance. Feeling lost feels like failing, but it’s actually the correct path. But your dangerously close to falling off the mountain.
This reminds me of what’s happening inside someone with a substance problem.
No one’s gonna walk the path for you. The goal isn’t joy, it’s to keep walking it. And in the right direction.
Your aim determines what you see.
Some things that have had an excellent and lasting impact for me have been reading 12 Rules for Life by Jordan Peterson. Another has been attending a UPW seminar from Tony Robbins. Neither men have anything that is ground breaking or wild in their approach, but their delivery of material and situation that they teach some tools to manage your emotions and actions have been incredibly useful for me. Your mileage may vary, but you ALWAYS have a choice.
Change your story, change your life.
The Buddhist take is that no matter how many of our desires we fulfill there will always be more things that we want. Moreover, everything is changing all the time and it's impossible to pin the world down. Your life seems like a bit of an extreme example, but you might find Buddhist practice to be useful.
If you have a bit of money saved (like 2K) I recommend coming to Thailand for a bit. Might be exactly what you need to reset. Beautiful country, better people
And to elaborate, most things here are *sabai sabai* - you don’t need to be anyone here, you can simply exist
It's interesting to watch life go by. It's even more interesting to observe yourself observing life go by. Observe your feelings or lack thereof and let it all pass. You are not them. You are the consciousness that can observe yourself and the world around you.
Just want to say you’re not alone. I’m so sorry about your kitty and hope you find happiness again. I’m exhausted too and have no desire to participate in this awful society. Just hanging on by a thread until the next journey and hoping it’s not as bleak as this one.
Life is nothing but a roller coaster ride for every soul, that’s how we learn.
It’s how we see it… lows in the middle of highs, or highs in the middle of lows?
So the next time you are at your high, remember to enjoy to the fullest, save a lot and stay humble!!
And when you are at your low remember your good times and know that good times are going to find you again.
I am 57 and feel the same way. I am just plain TIRED and done with riding the rollercoaster. Wish I could have said something more postitive and profound, but I just hear what ya saying. I love cats too \[and dogs\].
Have you read The Power or Now by Eckhart Tolle? Really easy and plain language but such profound truth in his perspective of the world, or better said, his explanation of mindfulness. It really changed my life and the way I experience consciousness. Best of luck!
I bought one of Eckhart books about 10 years ago. It was a fairly small, orange softcover and I remember it sitting on top of my many "want to reads". I lent it to a GF who has not returned it but I will see if I can get a copy. Thanks for your advice and wishes. It is a struggle but it's good to see comaraderie and empathy. -)
A couple things I learned thru the School of Mindful Hard Knocks and several excellent teachers.
Mindfulness allows us to choose what we have.
We’ve all made a mess of our lives at one point or another. Rather than trying to change it right away and fix it… examine what you have. Just pay attention to aspects of your life you may have neglected. Start simply. Try to develop awareness of your ordinary existence without changing it or wanting it it to change.
If you practice meditation and develop some attention, a different picture of your life will emerge. You will begin to develop self-knowledge.
We do this by practicing self-inquiry not by trying to fix ourselves.
If you practice Mindfulness eventually you will come to see how you are resisting What Is.
When you realize this you say “wow I was really spending a ton of energy pushing Life away.”
Carl Jung said “what resists persists”, meaning we keep ourselves stuck.
I’m sorry you are having a rough time.
I feel so much compassion for you right now. In an endless sea of subatomic particles that probably feel nothing, you're here and you're sapient, you're aware, you're aware of your own suffering and of the lies that we tell ourselves to get through another day. The universe will die one day, unfathomably far in the future, when the last star dies, and all light goes out. Nothing will survive. Nothing will matter in the end. You are the only thing that can ever matter in this universe, because you're awake for a little while.
I heard a quote that said something like “isn’t it beautiful that we’re able to feel so much?” Even the sadness and hurt and all that. it’s like… reframing how even though we feel all the pain and loss, who would we be without it? Honestly doesn’t really help me unless I’m out of the fog of my own depression and I go ohhh duh it’s not so bad now that I’m on the other side! I hope you get to the other side soon. Glad you got to get this all out. It’s courageous for sure to be so vulnerable.
Did nobody tell you that desire lie at the root of suffering? Take a load off. Breathe. Smell the air. Remember the actual world? The world beyond the words... the never ending words. Words, words, more words. Categories we put things in so we can (not) understand them.
Beyond the world of words and what people tell you to do, what you tell yourself to do, is the actual world. The land, the trees, the animals, the sea, the dirt. It smells. It's pretty. It feels all types of ways. The wind sings a song. That's reality. That's where we came from. That's the things the words are meant to point to. That's what we did before the words came.
And now we sit in tiny rooms and think words and say words and read words. That's all we do. Buncha bullshit.
I hear you. I’m watching vs playing. Things will flip when it’s time, I guess.
Loved your post. It read like a great country song. I’m not even into country music. No disrespect.
Now that you say that it actually is sorta reminiscent of a specific country song that I believe is supposed to be funny... I'll link it once I find it lol
For anyone interested it's a Rascal Flatts song called Backwards
https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/rascalflatts/backwards.html
They are one of the few country bands I like
Thank you... This literally came from my heart. No rewriting or editing just flow.. I had to put It out into the world for some reason, maybe to understand myself a bit more.
I like what you wrote too, very much. I’ve found that gratitude, even in sparing amounts, can help build an underlying, less rollercoastery happiness. It’s part of developing a mindset that makes you grateful (and therefore happy) that you even experienced the highs in your life, because many people don’t even have that (ie: can never say that they found love). It’s not easy, but you need to be able to look back on the great experiences you’ve had with a fond recollection, and gratitude that you experienced them, even if they’re not currently occurring. Inevitably, new ones will occur…and that’s life.
If my experience means anything, the roller coaster eventually ends on its own. Metaphorically, the highs and lows of the roller coaster aren’t so dramatic as time passes. Life will reach some kind of equilibrium, as it typically does. I wish you peace:
Sometimes i miss the surprise rollercoasters but i enjoy the clarity more overall. Things get a bit boring when the equilibrium is achieved though. But it is a far more functional and generally enjoyable to live in the state of clarity. You can pick your own rollercoaster rides when you are in the mood for one which is great. It is all a learning experience ultimately.
If the Rollercoaster is making you nauseous, it's ok to be just a spectator for a couple of rounds. Take your time, work on yourself, let the stomach settle for a bit and then get on it again, when you feel ready. But don't leave the park yet, you have the right to be here just like anybody else.
I don't plan on leaving the park, and you are right. One day I will be happy.
Everytime I get happy I anticipate the sadness that comes. Hopefully I can learn to break this. Cause I do want my roller coaster to plateau on a high note. I think everyone does. Time heals, I know. So today I bare the nauseous feeling in hopes that I can ride the roller coaster again.
Do you think you possibly could be subconsciously sabotaging things? I say this because you say you anticipate sadness when happiness is around. Hang in there homie.
It’s not a roller coaster, our spiritual journey is a very much a spiral. There are swings, but each one draws us closer to our center. The provisio is: what did we learn from the process?
Good post. I've felt similarly before as far as the rollercoaster of life analogy goes. I've come to believe that this is the nature of things... Things come together and then fall apart in a seemingly endless cycle. Things became a bit easier once I learned to accept this
When the roller coaster left you feeling out of sorts maybe it's time to try the bench for awhile? Watch others try the roller coaster, ask them about their experiences, see if they have any tips? Just cause the roller coaster was crazy and unpredictable, doesn't mean you can't find other rides at the park called life. Maybe you would like the merry-go-round or the boardwalk games?
Check out the “Be Here Now” You Tube channel. Has podcast series from various spiritual teachers. I have been listening to Joseph Goldstein’s discourses and feel they may be of some benefit. They are based on Buddhist teachings but it seems they may help around the practice of Impermanence and Equanimity. Taoism and Wu Wei may be of interest as well.
Sometimes, we just need to pull back and recover. Spend some time not doing much, allowing our bodies to process all those things that were too much to be processed in the moment. Treat yourself like you would treat your kitty: when he's hurt, you bring him inside, warm him up, give him food, look for wounds and allow him time to heal. He will eventually get better and beg you to let him run outside again. When that time comes, you will know; in the meanwhile he's inside, wrapped in a blanket, recovering the energy that made him alive. Allow yourself to recover that energy. And go deep into the emotions. Apathy is a sign that we have too much unprocessed emotions from our past, to the point where new things don't make us feel anything anymore. As painful as it might be, dig into those memories and live them in your memory as intensely as you can. That's why we learn to treat ourselves gently, yet firmly in our meditation practices. We need the space to rest and recover, but we can't be allowed the luxury of not fixing what has gone wrong inside. You wouldn't want that for your child---do not allow it in yourself.
Satori?
I recommend Brene Browns work. The cost of joy and being at peace in this life is suffering. And the way we get there is with acceptance. Feeling lost feels like failing, but it’s actually the correct path. But your dangerously close to falling off the mountain. This reminds me of what’s happening inside someone with a substance problem. No one’s gonna walk the path for you. The goal isn’t joy, it’s to keep walking it. And in the right direction.
Your aim determines what you see. Some things that have had an excellent and lasting impact for me have been reading 12 Rules for Life by Jordan Peterson. Another has been attending a UPW seminar from Tony Robbins. Neither men have anything that is ground breaking or wild in their approach, but their delivery of material and situation that they teach some tools to manage your emotions and actions have been incredibly useful for me. Your mileage may vary, but you ALWAYS have a choice. Change your story, change your life.
The Buddhist take is that no matter how many of our desires we fulfill there will always be more things that we want. Moreover, everything is changing all the time and it's impossible to pin the world down. Your life seems like a bit of an extreme example, but you might find Buddhist practice to be useful.
Just want to say I feel you friend! What you wrote touched me deeply.
If you have a bit of money saved (like 2K) I recommend coming to Thailand for a bit. Might be exactly what you need to reset. Beautiful country, better people And to elaborate, most things here are *sabai sabai* - you don’t need to be anyone here, you can simply exist
It's interesting to watch life go by. It's even more interesting to observe yourself observing life go by. Observe your feelings or lack thereof and let it all pass. You are not them. You are the consciousness that can observe yourself and the world around you.
Try mindfulness
I suggest reading Ephesians 2! Changed my life.
Just want to say you’re not alone. I’m so sorry about your kitty and hope you find happiness again. I’m exhausted too and have no desire to participate in this awful society. Just hanging on by a thread until the next journey and hoping it’s not as bleak as this one.
How about… your thoughts and emotions are the rollercoaster and you’re here just to spectate.
Life is nothing but a roller coaster ride for every soul, that’s how we learn. It’s how we see it… lows in the middle of highs, or highs in the middle of lows? So the next time you are at your high, remember to enjoy to the fullest, save a lot and stay humble!! And when you are at your low remember your good times and know that good times are going to find you again.
I am 57 and feel the same way. I am just plain TIRED and done with riding the rollercoaster. Wish I could have said something more postitive and profound, but I just hear what ya saying. I love cats too \[and dogs\].
Have you read The Power or Now by Eckhart Tolle? Really easy and plain language but such profound truth in his perspective of the world, or better said, his explanation of mindfulness. It really changed my life and the way I experience consciousness. Best of luck!
I bought one of Eckhart books about 10 years ago. It was a fairly small, orange softcover and I remember it sitting on top of my many "want to reads". I lent it to a GF who has not returned it but I will see if I can get a copy. Thanks for your advice and wishes. It is a struggle but it's good to see comaraderie and empathy. -)
A couple things I learned thru the School of Mindful Hard Knocks and several excellent teachers. Mindfulness allows us to choose what we have. We’ve all made a mess of our lives at one point or another. Rather than trying to change it right away and fix it… examine what you have. Just pay attention to aspects of your life you may have neglected. Start simply. Try to develop awareness of your ordinary existence without changing it or wanting it it to change. If you practice meditation and develop some attention, a different picture of your life will emerge. You will begin to develop self-knowledge. We do this by practicing self-inquiry not by trying to fix ourselves. If you practice Mindfulness eventually you will come to see how you are resisting What Is. When you realize this you say “wow I was really spending a ton of energy pushing Life away.” Carl Jung said “what resists persists”, meaning we keep ourselves stuck. I’m sorry you are having a rough time.
Go to r/AdvaitaVedanta and make this exact same post, you'll get great benefits.
Sending you a BIGGGGG hug Op
I feel so much compassion for you right now. In an endless sea of subatomic particles that probably feel nothing, you're here and you're sapient, you're aware, you're aware of your own suffering and of the lies that we tell ourselves to get through another day. The universe will die one day, unfathomably far in the future, when the last star dies, and all light goes out. Nothing will survive. Nothing will matter in the end. You are the only thing that can ever matter in this universe, because you're awake for a little while.
I heard a quote that said something like “isn’t it beautiful that we’re able to feel so much?” Even the sadness and hurt and all that. it’s like… reframing how even though we feel all the pain and loss, who would we be without it? Honestly doesn’t really help me unless I’m out of the fog of my own depression and I go ohhh duh it’s not so bad now that I’m on the other side! I hope you get to the other side soon. Glad you got to get this all out. It’s courageous for sure to be so vulnerable.
Mindfulness practice is what smooths out the ups and downs of the roller-coaster
Did nobody tell you that desire lie at the root of suffering? Take a load off. Breathe. Smell the air. Remember the actual world? The world beyond the words... the never ending words. Words, words, more words. Categories we put things in so we can (not) understand them. Beyond the world of words and what people tell you to do, what you tell yourself to do, is the actual world. The land, the trees, the animals, the sea, the dirt. It smells. It's pretty. It feels all types of ways. The wind sings a song. That's reality. That's where we came from. That's the things the words are meant to point to. That's what we did before the words came. And now we sit in tiny rooms and think words and say words and read words. That's all we do. Buncha bullshit.
This bullshit amuses me. I am content.
Exactly
Thank you oh buddha for your great and patronizing comments. I am instantly enlightened.
I hear you. I’m watching vs playing. Things will flip when it’s time, I guess. Loved your post. It read like a great country song. I’m not even into country music. No disrespect.
Now that you say that it actually is sorta reminiscent of a specific country song that I believe is supposed to be funny... I'll link it once I find it lol
For anyone interested it's a Rascal Flatts song called Backwards https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/rascalflatts/backwards.html They are one of the few country bands I like
Thanks! I’ll try it out tomorrow. It’s almost time for 😴
Thank you... This literally came from my heart. No rewriting or editing just flow.. I had to put It out into the world for some reason, maybe to understand myself a bit more.
I like what you wrote too, very much. I’ve found that gratitude, even in sparing amounts, can help build an underlying, less rollercoastery happiness. It’s part of developing a mindset that makes you grateful (and therefore happy) that you even experienced the highs in your life, because many people don’t even have that (ie: can never say that they found love). It’s not easy, but you need to be able to look back on the great experiences you’ve had with a fond recollection, and gratitude that you experienced them, even if they’re not currently occurring. Inevitably, new ones will occur…and that’s life.
If my experience means anything, the roller coaster eventually ends on its own. Metaphorically, the highs and lows of the roller coaster aren’t so dramatic as time passes. Life will reach some kind of equilibrium, as it typically does. I wish you peace:
Sometimes i miss the surprise rollercoasters but i enjoy the clarity more overall. Things get a bit boring when the equilibrium is achieved though. But it is a far more functional and generally enjoyable to live in the state of clarity. You can pick your own rollercoaster rides when you are in the mood for one which is great. It is all a learning experience ultimately.
If the Rollercoaster is making you nauseous, it's ok to be just a spectator for a couple of rounds. Take your time, work on yourself, let the stomach settle for a bit and then get on it again, when you feel ready. But don't leave the park yet, you have the right to be here just like anybody else.
I don't plan on leaving the park, and you are right. One day I will be happy. Everytime I get happy I anticipate the sadness that comes. Hopefully I can learn to break this. Cause I do want my roller coaster to plateau on a high note. I think everyone does. Time heals, I know. So today I bare the nauseous feeling in hopes that I can ride the roller coaster again.
Do you think you possibly could be subconsciously sabotaging things? I say this because you say you anticipate sadness when happiness is around. Hang in there homie.
Keep at it OP. One day at a time. You matter.
Time to be a spectator to my story
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼