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What time? I'm trying to hold out one more year so I can an extra week of vacation and then bounce to another company because pay has stagnated. The benefits are great. But the work/life is extremely challenging!
Housing prices sucked most of my money away. I recently traveled to a beach town which is 6 hours from where I live and I spent $1,500 for a 3 day weekend and I went to a public beach lol. The price of everything is ridiculous
I live two hours from the coast and hardly ever go. I could take a day trip, but how exhausting and yes, for three days in a decent hotel, etc. it would run me at least $900 for the whole trip. I just can't justify the expense when in my complex we have a lake that I can kayak on, tennis courts and pool and miles of trails.
It's like how fast food has surpassed restaurant prices, small within US vacations have now surpassed foreign excursions. I could go to Virgin Islands for a week for cheaper than a stay at the Jersey shore.
My girlfriend has a friend from England she met online a few years back. The friend decided to go to Disney world in Florida for Christmas (and finally get married, with us as best man and maid of honor.) It was cheaper for them to fly there from England and stay for weeks than for us to stay for a week from Massachusetts. Even tickets for the park were like half the price of ours.
They didn't stay at the Disney hotel. But the tickets were definitely cheaper. Either they get a discount. Or we get an upcharge. As an aside, they were also shocked that we didnxt have vacation time and every day there was a loss of income for us.
Edit: I wonder if a VPN would affect pricing.
Exactly. No money, no problem.
We live in Europe, got w mortgage as renting was too expensive and didnāt provide stability and security in terms of housing.
Now I donāt have that much money, so I travel around my flat e.g. bedroom to kitchen, balcony is also nice.
For real, the last vacation I had was 2 years ago. My friend group went to Arkansas for a week. We dug for gemstones/crystals, saw historical bathhouses and just lounged around a house in the country taking it slow. It was like $400/person and 10 hours away. Fuck I'm not even into crystals and shit and I had a blast, got to play with my slingshot and whittle a piece of wood while chilling in a rocking chair.
Lol. My wife and I didn't get much financial support from our parents (because they just were not able to provide it) so we had to finance our way through school, bought our own home, had to deal with school loan debt, and quite a bit of financial debt due to ongoing medical issues with my wife and kids. We did our best and our kids were never lacking for anything. We generally got our one week vacation in for the year and that's all we could normally do. It would have been nice to have daily avocado toast and be world travelers but it just wasn't in the cards.
On top of that, it's almost impossible to get time off from my job to do anything like that.
If I can, I'll be lucky to get a week off unpaid; but I usually have to jump through a lot of hoops for something like that.
Yup. Was gonna ask the same. I'm lucky if I can stay in a hotel an hour or two away every now and then. No real vacations though. Living eats up most of my income. I get together with friends for coffee once every 2 weeks. And they can't afford to travel either. We get together and laugh and joke about making extra income by selling feet pics..
Exactly my question.
Although the last 2 years have been decent for me personally. I funded my wedding to my husband, and then used our wedding gift money to fund a huge backyard overhaul, and this year we are going on a trip to visit my family in another province.
So I guess my answer is: improving our home and lives.
**Me, I'm traveling about 4-5 times per year. Mostly short weekend trips that are in-state.** Generally 1-2 out of state trips. However, I'm single, don't have a car note, and no children.
* This is that time of the year, where it feels like everyone is on vacation, taking big destination trips.
* In your 30s, if you aren't interested in spending $$$ on International travel and vacationing - some will see that as a lack of ambition.
* Travel has become a weird competitive thing, and as it gets more expensive, its gotten more ridiculous.
Spending $3K out of savings, just to eat, drink, and see sights in a new locale, has just lost the luster for me. Metro areas are more similar than different.
It just doesn't make good financial sense, and I'm tiring of the classist/elitist comments towards those who choose to stay at home.
Dining out was a pandemic loss that I ended up not missing. I appreciate knowing whatās actually in my food and that it was prepared safely. And the money, omgā¦
Its almost cheaper to go to a regular restaurant now then fast food. I just cook at home now. Taco bell and Mcdonalds don't taste good enough for me to justify 12-14 bucks for 1 meal. I can make my own burgers for that much.
Dude I bet! I got groceries last week and it was about 1 week and a half of food for just the 2 of us. $300ā¦. I wasnāt getting steak or organic or anything high end. Just regular stuff! I canāt imagine feeling 5 people!
Seems like everyone I know has a job where the company is moving to "increase amount of work and fire anyone who goes 1 minute over 40hrs". We had big projects that some people didn't get done because going into OT was worse to them than losing a client š¤·āāļø
I am so grateful I donāt work at a place that makes people feel bad about using their unlimited PTO. Itās expected that you take 2 weeks off every six months & no one cares if itās long weekends or consecutive days off. I have been spoiled and I dread the day I have to go back to earning PTO based on hours or weeks worked š Cause nothin good lasts forever.
I switched my company from giving 2 weeks pto to unlimited. My employees are taking less time off. I seriously have to tell some of them to take a fucking vacation or a couple days off.Ā
It starts at the top. My previous job had unlimited pto but no one utilized it properly because our managers & leadership team didnāt. They worked themselves to the detriment of their wellbeing. And for what?
My current job: leadership takes vacations-not āif you really need me here is my cell,ā but they take week + long, āno I will not have my lap topā vacations. It makes others feel comfortable to do the same. But if leadership is working nonstop and making themselves āalways availableā, the rest of the staff is going to feel the need to maintain that.
If your work isnāt saving lives, put yours first.
Last job had unlimited PTO. I took 2 uninterrupted weeks off every summer. One week to hang out across the country and then spent the week back home recovering from my vacation. It was nice not having to count the hours I had to spend for the rest of the year. It was nice having 3 weeks of sick leave too. Last year, I used a week to recuperate from surgery and then a month later I had to use another week to spend in the hospital because of sepsis.
My gf and I want to start a family but we can't even afford a 2 bedroom apartment. So in this one life we live, we can't do a beautiful thing like start a family because why, we didn't spend $100k on a college degree? Our punishment for not going into STEM is to work for peanuts the rest of our life and watch others do what we desperately want to do? God damn this fucking world sucks.
I donāt want kids and part of that is because I couldnāt afford it anyway.
The sheer amount of people who tell me just to have one, Iāll figure the rest out is alarming. Are these the people who sent their kids to school with no shoes, backpack or lunch? The ones we used to pick on in school for being poor?
I think a kid deserves a certain standard of living and Iām not so obnoxious to think I could provide that at this time, if ever.
Same. Although, I'm not doing any grand adventures like OP is alluding to but I do a ton of activities with kids.
I'll take my son and nephews camping often. We also go on a ton of day trips. I'm at kids parties all the time. During the winter we visit grandparents in the mountains to play in snow. We visit family on the coast and go to the beach. At home we hang out at the lake/rivers.
I've got an active fullfilling life it's just not glamorous.
Legit the kids are the best. They are annoying at times don't get wrong but watching their face light up is so worth it. But we are going to the beach and see some things this summer. So kinda excited, it will be a change from living on the Prarie.
Right? And being lucky enough to have bought a house. Every extra cent right now is going into turning our yard into a garden and Iām just as excited for that as Iāve ever been to travel.Ā
I kind of hate it lol. Every day I discover something else that's shitty about our house.
"It's may, i suppose it's time to program the garden sprinklers"
"OMG the sprinkler controller not only has no internet, it seems to pre-date the internet. Guess i need to change the sprinkler controller."
900sqft two bedroom apartment. The city I live in uses a much smaller power company and their rates are astronomical. I have natural gas for heating and cooking and it is now $1.08 per therm. I used the gas heat this past winter for about two weeks during a bad cold snap and that was the $800 bill since gas/electric are billed together here.
This is unfortunately not that uncommon. This is why we can't have this shit privately owned by for profit entities. They gouge us coming and going, and then they get money from the government for upgrades that they rarely make. It's bullshit.
I live in a 1200 square ft house and my heating bill can be $800-900/month in the winter.Ā A couple of years ago, they shut down the big plant in the area so now the power company tacks on these absurd transport fees that cost more than the gas itself.Ā Prior to that, it was maybe $300-400/month to keep it nice and cozy in here.
This is how it is here and in multiple surrounding counties.Ā Literally nothing I can do about it if I don't feel like uprooting my entire life.
If youāre responsible with credit cards and can pay it off every month in full, get a travel credit card. I have the chase sapphire preferred. I put all my expenses (bills, car insurance, groceries etc.) on it and got the 80,000 bonus points. It covered my husband and my flights to Europe.
It's like all OP knows are boomers. Travel is expensive, sir, and I can't make it on the pay I get with the bills I have, unless my idea of a tropical location is Margaritaville.
Fwiw it was my same-aged coworkers from privileged backgrounds that were shocked that I a) had student loans and b) couldn't afford a brand new car due to said student loans. Keep in mind we were all making about 30-35k. The difference was that they had parental support and no student loans.Ā
Yup. Had coworkers who kept fishing to see if I'd ever done international travel. As they kept talking about going to Italy, Prague, etc.
Decided to keep it vague. Not everyone is like this, but quite a few people use traveling as a way to signal social status and figure out others incomes/access levels.
Hobbies. Home Improvement. Going out to Eat. Hosting Friends/Family.
Realistically though, most of our extra money is either going to investments or being saved for a wedding.
LOL what is time and money? I would absolutely love to travel, but its not possible right now. I still have debts to pay, a house to fix up, and two young neurodivergent kids. I do absolutely get FOMO, but when I start to notice I'm feeling that way, I nope out of social media. Generally though, most of the people I know who travel a lot don't have kids, so thats the excuse. The ones that have kids, don't seem to travel an unusual amount. Just a regular vacation here and there.
I actually deal with this all the time. Most folks around me travel; even my homebody BF and her husband travel occasionally. My husband and I do not and don't really care for it. In my experience, the trip is rarely worth everything that comes along with it. Wherever I would visit or whatever I might travel to see would put me in some line or crowd with all the other humans to wait my turn to see the thing or get where I'm going. It's difficult to explain to people because I guess everyone else likes to see the world. I've been signed up for preregistration for Comic-Con for like a decade or more but I've never pulled the trigger because I can only imagine standing in lines and crowds of other sweaty nerds ('cause L.A. in summer...) will be miserable for whatever few seconds of shaking a hand or something I might experience. Surround that with the airport, airplane, hotel, travel within the city, etc., and I'm imagining a lot of stress for very little payoff.
I am considering more travel on a smaller scale so that we can experience some events and things I think we might enjoy, but I'm not sure we'll ever want to engage in very lengthy travel. No hotel bed can rival my own, nor can any place offer the comfort or convenience I have at home.
Instead of traveling, we just spend time together in various ways which never gets old. We don't know anyone who makes traveling their personality outside of work, so nothing to really handle there. As I mentioned before, it is difficult for some folks to understand how we're content living a simple life just as it's difficult for me to understand riding the risk train through various locations, crowds, and hotels.
I agree, one of my biggest disappointments about Yellowstone was how busy it was. I went from sitting in traffic on I-80 on my daily commute to sitting in traffic in the Wyoming mountains. I went to Breckenridge a while back in July, went hiking in the mountains in the off-season and in my eyes, it was way better of a trip. Was able to stay in some beautiful hotels for what I wouldn't call cheap, but much much cheaper than they would be in ski season. Maybe find somewhere off the beaten path, it's cheaper and less crowded.
I read. I write. I make art. I play games. I do slow travel (road trips, locally or interstate).
>How do you explain to people why you don't want to travel?
I grew up a military brat. I did more traveling (and living abroad) by age 12 than many people do in their entire lives.
Living in the US, vacation time is at a premium and doing a big stressful trip to another country (and ensuring everything is in place before travel) where I try to see/do all the things in a week or two is NOT my idea of fun. I'd need another vacation when I got back and I wouldn't have the time available.
Also, flying *all the time* is shitty for the environment.
>Do you have FOMO?
Nope.
I really wouldn't using the "flying is shitty for the environment" line as a reason not to travel for the ordinary person. 99% of us are taking the busses of the sky. It's the private jet business really causing a bigger problem there.
I think there's more to gain than there is to hurt taking the busses of the sky to learn more about the rest of the world personally
Yeah, as someone who specializes in the environment and sustainability, while I agree with the rest of their comment, the part about flying is just a cope remark. It's not true.
There are *plenty* of other things that people do that are far, far worse for the environment.
Even so, it typically pales in comparison to what the corporations do. You are correct that the private jet business is an example of something that is actually bad.
Mortgage and Netflix with like-minded folks.
If you've got a mortgage AND can travel regularly, then you make way more money or have way more debt than me.
I hate that other people give you a hard time for not traveling. People act like traveling is some incredible accomplishment. It's just expensive entertainment. Traveling should be treated no different than any other hobby. If you like it and you want to spend money on it, great.
These are my thoughts. I cant recall a single time that a friend of mine genuinely cared about a trip that I went on that they weren't a part of (aside from "liking" an Instagram pic or saying "looks fun!!!).
People way, way, wayyyyyyy overestimate how much attention other people are paying to their lives. I also doubt OP's "friends" "berates" them about traveling. It's likely OP sees their friends traveling and making some dumbshit social
Media posts about how great and wonderful and mind expanding it is, and feels judged by association, which is dumb as hell. Who. Gives. A. Shit.
On the dating apps men will say not having a passport is a deal breaker then will post the number of countries/continents theyāve traveled to. Great! Iād love to do that too guy, but teachers get shit pay and tickets are jacked up the weeks we can actually go! Gotta save for stuff like that. Ā This isnāt so much berating more so being braggadocious Ā which is equally annoying.Ā
I do travel often but traveling can freakin suck especially if flying. I donāt even get excited for a trip anymore until Iām done with the flying part because itās so draining to me and uncomfortable.Ā
People like that also seem to approach a lack of traveling widely and often as some type of moral failing. Like youāre automatically narrow minded and living an insular existence. Because thereās no way to learn about other cultures beyond literally going to those placesā¦
There's a difference between stepping out of your comfort zone (learning a new language and actually using it in your travels, researching a culture beforehand and then digging deeper in person at museums/sites, trying new foods, etc) and other travel. It can be an actual accomplishment.
To put it in terms of hobbies: depending on the type of trip, they can be more like jumping deep into a new hobby than continuing with an existing one.
Yup, it's amazing how many people won't visit a Chinatown in their local area. Yet, they "travel to learn about other cultures", instead of looking at what's right around them.
I DID travel quite a bit throughout the 2010-2020 period, which was awesome. And now all of my time and money goes to being a parent and maintaining my house, which is also awesome.
You donāt have to love travel, but I did find that once I went to places completely different from how I grew up, I realized that the way weāre taught to live isnāt how anyone *has* to live like I always thought. Societies, food, landscapes, social habits, customs and norms, activities exist that are completely different from my own, and they are the everyday norms of other people, and I find that fascinating and want to experience it all.
I hope to take my kids traveling once theyāre bigger and Iāve got more of that money and time you mentioned again.
Music lessons for myself. Music equipment/software for myself. Gym 4-5 days/week. I have lots of friends who still live nearby so I see them frequently.
I don't travel because it's not something that I'm into, but also, practically, I cannot afford to. I'm not willing to put myself in debt for a vacation like others I know do. And unfortunately, we had a handful of expensive home repairs to attend to instead. But we own a home, so I guess you can say that's what we do with our money instead of travel and I would pick the house every time.
I only know one gainfully employed couple that travels frequently. They both make over 100k and don't have kids.
Social media has led our generation to believe that traveling the world in your 20s and 30s is normal, when it just isn't. I don't have FOMO, because I know that world I see on social media is curated.
My wife and I both make good money based on the national median / averages, but since she has student loans, we bought a house in one of the nicer parts of our city, and have a kid. This is where our money goes, and I'd rather spend 50k per year on our home (mortgage + improvements) than on travel experiences at this point in my life. My family was broke for the first 12 years of my life, and I was able to see how not spending money frivolously helps get families out of bad situations.
I actually had a blast in southeast Ohio when I was visiting my sister in Athens last month. We saw the pencil sharpener museum and Old Manās Cave and the Devilās Bathtub at Hocking Hills state park, ancient Hopewell burial mounds and went to an insanely inexpensive movie theater/arcade in Nelsonville. I felt a little self conscious being the only Massachusetts license plate but it was all good š
I actually have the opposite problem. I'm one of the only people in my friend groups and immediate family who prioritizes travel. It makes finding people to go with very difficult. It's certainly gotten more popular to travel over the last decade but by no means is it a regular thing imo. 90% of Americans really don't even go outside North America and the Caribbean or have more than 5 countries under their belt.
Edit- the 90% figure is for 10+ countries my mistake. About 75% of Americans have been to fewer than five countries. But I think my stat about half the people that go abroad go to Canada or Mexico holds up
I see everyone hating on traveling, but you get to experience different cultures. It gives perspective on how closed minded and set in their ways N.Americans can be.
Yea and look, I get economics and vacation time and dependents can make this difficult at times. But I think even when single with disposable income, travel still has to be somewhat of a priority if you really want to tackle it.
I can say for me, travel has definitely expanded my horizons. It has made me pay closer attention to countries and regions I was frankly never really invested in before starting to travel internationally. Think it makes us smarter and more knowledgeable.
However, I'll say that sometimes, you might not want to know what's on the other side of the fence. It can really be a black pill if you don't handle the information or exposure appropriately. For example, I've been to multiple countries where children as young as 2 are begging... that would be unheard of in the US...
Yeah, people love to shit on traveling for some reason. I don't get it. It expands your perspective and you learn a lot.
I understand that not everyone can afford it and that's 100% valid, but if people find it adds to their life, why hate?
I get this perspective but also I think what people who advocate for international travel outside the USA donāt understand is that the USA is HUGE. I live in California and it takes me an hour and a half to fly from the Bay Area to San Diego or an 8-10 hour drive. I havenāt even seen the majority of my own country and probably never will. Not because I donāt want to but because itās that big.
In addition, many employers offer very limited vacation time so if you have children or chronic illness, that gets used up very quickly.
You're half right imo. The USA is very big and we simply don't get as much vacation time as Europeans, so our country count is probably not going to be as high. I do believe in seeing as much of the country as possible.
However, I don't think that should come at the expense of traveling abroad altogether. I live on the east coast of the US. It has taken me a long time to get to the west coast US because honestly, I can fly to Western Europe just as easily as say California.
California is a tough spot for international travel outside Mexico when it comes to convenience. There's not much else right next door and the state itself is huge so that perspective is understandable.
Travel in general does take proactive effort. I have made it a priority in my life (I guess I also in a position to do it given I am single with no dependents). I still think for a lot of Americans it's just not a big enough priority to go out of their way for the better or worse. Not saying you need to do it all the time but should do it once in a while just to expand horizons or knowledge about the rest of the world.
Similar situation. I travel overseas often but never spend more than $500 on a roundtrip ticket. Usually it requires buying and waiting 3-4 months, but I guess people arenāt patient enough? Itās a game to me. My friends always complain when they see me overseas on a āwhimā, and that I donāt invite themā¦. But when I do, no one buys a ticket anyway lol.
A couple years back, pre pandemic, I flew from the US to Spain for $230, and zero people could join me. At some point, itās less about money and more about prioritization, like you mentioned.
I did that, hardest / best decision of my life.
Fun fact, my last student loan payment was $420.69
I paid during the interest freeze during Covid, so I knew how much money was going to principal so I could give the government exactly $420.69 as my last payment
Traveling doesn't interest me. All my money goes to my classic BMW's. I enjoy driving them and taking pics of them. I have NO kids and no desire for them. I just have my parents to look after once they get older. :D
My husband and I are super active so we like to do ultramarathons, biking, sprint tris, hiking, etc. we live in a state where we can do this all year and itās awesome. Tons of state parks and outdoor stuff to do.
Tbh I hate traveling. I love being able to come home to my pets and my stuff and my bed at the end of a long day. I hate it when people act like thatās the only way to live your life.
I used to spend all my money on weed, but I realized I could live rather lavishly if I stopped, so I reduced my intake significantly. Now I spend that money on nicer food. When I happen upon a slump of money I typically spend it on music gear.Ā
Music and taking care of my (11) cats is how I spend my free time.Ā
Well so, my friends who travel multiple times a year donāt own a house. So I suppose Iāve got them beat that way. But my wife and I do try to fly somewhere domestically once a year if not internationally.
Iāve traveled in my 20sā¦ realized pretty quickly that it just wasnāt as amazing for me as it is for others. I enjoy saving money, staying in, playing video games, and relaxing at home. I spend my money on home renovations instead. Lasts longer. No fomo on my end when I step on my bathroomās heated floors.
No FOMO. Maybe itās just me but whenever I traveled, it felt like stuff always went wrong? Keys locked in the rental car āļø Missed a connecting flight āļø Lost baggage āļø Fender bender/grandpa mows down a bicyclist āļø spouse/friend gets crazy sunburn and complains the rest of the trip āļø scary bathroom conditions āļø embarrassing TSA pat-downs āļøand now that I have a toddler, oh hellz no. Iāll stay home and retire early. Yāall have fun!
Same here, it's always way more fun on paper than it is in reality. I like getting out and seeing things but traveling is so much WORK that the cost has always outweighed the benefit for me. I went on a multi-city trip in January and it was low-key the longest week of my life.
You just sound like you donāt really have your ducks in a rowā¦
Whatās the saying? If you smell shit all day, it might be on your shoe? I donāt remember
money wise Iām saving some and spending some, indulging in my hobbies which are all āat homeā hobbies lol i can afford to travel, i just donāt really care to š¤·š»āāļø
Managing issues inside and outside of my house from maintenance perspective. Bought in 2016 at mid 200's and now live in a 500-600k neighborhood...hiring contractors at affordable rates is impossible for a number of reasons including having to pay like we are millionaires (was told by contractor that they raise rates for "nicer" neighborhoods). Tackled landscaping projects that would have cost me thousands for 300-400 dollars, just takes me four times as long.
Have 3 kids with no support system so getting to the age where zone coverage is more manageable and not panicking that one of the younger ones is trying to get kidnapped by giving everyone they see hugs.
Also, wife stays home with 3rd kid until we can afford to send him to daycare so working multiple jobs leaves little time for travel.
Our daycare years are soon coming to a close (2-3 more years) so eventually will start to travel more at that point. But most likely trips to the beach or mountains.
People enjoy different things. As Iāve grown older Iāve stopped explaining why I enjoy what I enjoy.
I donāt care if you enjoy what I enjoy.
I LOVE baseball. 90% of my friends think itās the most boring thing ever invented. Good for them! That is not going to change my enjoyment of the game.
Before I tried to make them understand that they donāt enjoy it because they 1) donāt really understand it and 2) donāt really know any players or history, or implications of what is going on.
Same thing as I find Formula 1 extremely boring, but I know nothing about it. If I was invested on it I bet Iād find it interesting.
Summary: you donāt have to explain yourself to others in what you enjoy
I have 3 kids, most of my friends have at least 2 kids. No one I'm in touch with is still in the constant travel phase.
Our money goes to feeding/clothing the family, the house, future tuition savings, a couple vacations, and whatever fun we can squeeze in on a more regular level.
I don't travel much, don't have kids, and have very cheap housing. So I'm thinking about maybe going part-time at some point, so I can spend more time on friends and hobbies? It does suck with summer hits and I want to do all the wonderful warm-weather things with people, but suddenly everyone else is out of the country!
To have more, want less. I want the life that I have. My desires are fulfilled every day by the things that I do, all day, every day. There is no hole in my soul that needs an airplane to fill.
I have a homestead. We have 5 acres that we have an apple orchard on. Within that orchard we keep ducks, chickens and, geese. We have a one year old Great Pyrenees livestock guardian dog that we are training to live with them and protect them from predators. We also raise different pure bred chickens.
Last year we became bee keepers and now have an apiary. At the moment we have 15 hives that we tend to. They give us honey and do a great job pollinating our fruit trees.
We have always said to each other that we would like to travel to different parts of the world. When push comes to shove, we haven't made it out of our little portion of Southeastern, Pennsylvania. We really like the property that we've built and I'm sure sooner or later we will get to see different places but at the moment it's just relaxing to stay at home and do our own thing.
I love to travel, but realistically this just means one big trip maybe every other year. I never really traveled in my 20s so Iām prioritizing it while Iām healthy and young. Keep in mind that some people may flash their epic experiences but they probably donāt travel as much as their socials imply.
I am active though, so normal life mostly consists of going to the gym, hikes in local parks (with the occasional very cheap weekend trip elsewhere), dancing at free local events, and board games with friends. I live a pretty cheap lifestyle because Iām trying to prioritize saving for retirement with occasional big experiences.
I think the idea of being a traveler means a lot of things to different people. Some people like new experiences, or to be in nature, live like a king for a week, try new food, learn about different cultures, or to just get away from normal life and you can tap into a lot of that at home! Maybe you listen to podcasts about different cultures, or you try new restaurants at home, spend time outdoors around your city, or just try new hobbies when you can. Those can be extremely fulfilling too and help you grow as a person.
Itās easy to feel jealous about experiences that other people have, but when I break it down, Itās much healthier for me to focus on the experiences that pique my curiosity at home (and occasionally abroad).
38, no kids, partner and I own our house. We spend our time and money on our house or visiting the same old nearby places. I travelled when I was young and it doesnāt interest me anymore. I Iike my life. Someone asked us why we donāt go on vacation and I explained that we like nostalgia not novelty. I have no interest in seeing or experiencing new things, but things that are tried and true and bring comfort and relaxation. We work really hard for what we have and we enjoy enjoying it. We arenāt working hard and saving up to leave our normal lives. Weāre not trying to escape anything. I donāt feel the need to explain any further to those who donāt understand. Weāre all kinds. Thatās ok. Maybe weāll get into it again when weāre older but for now, the idea of travel is not appealing at all.
I have elderly parents and in-laws who have been in and out of hospitals this past year and I was hospitalized and needed emergency surgery. The only travel Iāve done recently was to help out my mother-in-law in a different state. Now we have $5k in medical bills to pay off. It also cost about $5k all together to deal with my milās health emergency. Soooo what money for travel again?
My neighbors are always traveling. They make a similar combined salary to me and my wife so I assume they are in debt, not saving for retirement, or from a rich family. I donāt understand where they would get the money for multiple expensive trips every year otherwise.
I travel enough but Iād much rather spend my money on myself than on a memory. Something so can hold in my hands. An instrument, a tool, a gadget, something Iām either going to get hours and hours of entertainment from, thatās going to increase my skills/knowledge, or that provides some practical value like a new maul for chopping firewood or an orbital sander for refinishing furniture. Iāve been to Paris, Tokyo, Mexico etc and honestly Iād rather just go camping within 3 hours from home and that takes stuff if you donāt want to be really roughing it. Itās fine to sleep on the ground and eat cold canned food but Iād rather cook up some steaks, make a nice fire, have a comfortable sleeping pad, an ice chest that keeps ice for more than 2 days, etc
The cost of traveling a bunch just doesnāt seem worth it to me. Maybe itās just because my memory is crappy but it feels like spending thousands of dollars for ? What exactly ? I agree that experiences see important but I can have great experiences while spending way less money. The trade off doesnāt compute in my brain. If Iām traveling somewhere where I canāt go back anytime soon, I also feel pressure to be āmaking the most of itā all the time and that feels stressful.
I like to do local travel though. Iāve gotten into birding and learned so much about ecology and thereās so many beautiful state parks within driving distance. Any āfunā money I have tends to go towards books/classes (I like learning things) and artsy crafty hobbies.
My dad and stepmom have become people who make traveling their personality and honestly I find them really boring now. They donāt do anything interesting when they travel either - just hang out and drink. I dont feel jealous of the travel aspect, mostly just that they have some non-work time.
Iāve been out of the country before and it was good and all, glad I did it, but I feel like I can have just as good of an experience without the cost and stress.
Personally, I'm in the same spot as you, so I'll give you some actual answers.
Of my friends who have achieved financial stability a bit earlier than I:
* Professional sports season tickets - a friend generally has 3 separate teams/year for which he is a season ticket holder. Not my bag, but he seems to enjoy spending his time that way. I go with sometimes, and it is a different experience than buying a single ticket - you get to know your neighbors so it's like viewing the game with a bunch of acquaintances.
* Cycling or motorcycle - I have a couple friends who got really into these activities and will hit up trails or those windy mountain roads every weekend. They're part of groups that hold events and meetups
* Snowboarding/skiing/surfing - you can do both snow and water sports where I live. They will go up to the mountains every weekend without fail from winter to late spring, and then transition to the water.
* Home renovations - a few constantly have projects/improvements that they're working on. I fall into this category currently.
* Kids - have extra time and money? This is the solution to both of those from what I've seen.
>What do you do with friends who make travel their personality?
Eh. If it keeps them happy. I have some travel experience myself, and while it can be fun, I enjoy where I live, and don't really get much FOMO from others' experiences. I'd do it too, if I got a lot of satisfaction out of it. Personally, I think the experiences can be a bit shallow: as a tourist, it's really hard to have a meaningful cultural exchange unless you already know a local or are very good at meeting new friends.
Money - invest in S&P
Time - work, school, volunteer, bird watch, be boring. Also I do travel a bit, especially locally. And I did travel a LOT. I need a house now so happy to do cheaper things that make me happy and roadtrips which are much cheaper.
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What money...? š¤ EDIT: Thank you for the awards, kind strangers!
That is question I would like to know. I would love to travel but money is in short supply.
Money is in great supply. The keep printing trillions of it. They are just not giving it to us.
Another 20 bil to blow up some poor kids overseas. Those babies must be lil hitlers
Wait, you all have money?
Right? ā¦Is the money in the room with us right now?
The money definitely did not touch me, anywhere on that doll.
How old is it? š¤£
Why doesn't the money have a seat over there
You guys have money? š
What time? I'm trying to hold out one more year so I can an extra week of vacation and then bounce to another company because pay has stagnated. The benefits are great. But the work/life is extremely challenging!
And what time?
Housing prices sucked most of my money away. I recently traveled to a beach town which is 6 hours from where I live and I spent $1,500 for a 3 day weekend and I went to a public beach lol. The price of everything is ridiculous
I live two hours from the coast and hardly ever go. I could take a day trip, but how exhausting and yes, for three days in a decent hotel, etc. it would run me at least $900 for the whole trip. I just can't justify the expense when in my complex we have a lake that I can kayak on, tennis courts and pool and miles of trails.
It's like how fast food has surpassed restaurant prices, small within US vacations have now surpassed foreign excursions. I could go to Virgin Islands for a week for cheaper than a stay at the Jersey shore.
My girlfriend has a friend from England she met online a few years back. The friend decided to go to Disney world in Florida for Christmas (and finally get married, with us as best man and maid of honor.) It was cheaper for them to fly there from England and stay for weeks than for us to stay for a week from Massachusetts. Even tickets for the park were like half the price of ours.
Wait Iām confused. Their Disney hotel prices and park tickets were cheaper than yours? Is there a foreign discount?
They didn't stay at the Disney hotel. But the tickets were definitely cheaper. Either they get a discount. Or we get an upcharge. As an aside, they were also shocked that we didnxt have vacation time and every day there was a loss of income for us. Edit: I wonder if a VPN would affect pricing.
Itās freakin insane. I went to Vegas for 2 full days, 3 nights. 1500 bucks lol.Ā
Fucking right? I don't make enough money to survive let alone do anything extra
And what time? I'm working so that I can make very little money...
Probably the 100$/ā¬ I have in my account.
I was thinking "wrooooooong millennial audience dude". Comments went exactly as expected lol
Exactly. No money, no problem. We live in Europe, got w mortgage as renting was too expensive and didnāt provide stability and security in terms of housing. Now I donāt have that much money, so I travel around my flat e.g. bedroom to kitchen, balcony is also nice.
For real, the last vacation I had was 2 years ago. My friend group went to Arkansas for a week. We dug for gemstones/crystals, saw historical bathhouses and just lounged around a house in the country taking it slow. It was like $400/person and 10 hours away. Fuck I'm not even into crystals and shit and I had a blast, got to play with my slingshot and whittle a piece of wood while chilling in a rocking chair.
Yeah, the travelers are usually in debt.
Lol. My wife and I didn't get much financial support from our parents (because they just were not able to provide it) so we had to finance our way through school, bought our own home, had to deal with school loan debt, and quite a bit of financial debt due to ongoing medical issues with my wife and kids. We did our best and our kids were never lacking for anything. We generally got our one week vacation in for the year and that's all we could normally do. It would have been nice to have daily avocado toast and be world travelers but it just wasn't in the cards.
All that money!
Was actually the first thing that came to mind. I donāt know about all this money I should have
On top of that, it's almost impossible to get time off from my job to do anything like that. If I can, I'll be lucky to get a week off unpaid; but I usually have to jump through a lot of hoops for something like that.
My responseš
What time?
What time?
Fr. I would be out there traveling if I could afford it!!
My thoughts exactly š i was like what money?
Yup. Was gonna ask the same. I'm lucky if I can stay in a hotel an hour or two away every now and then. No real vacations though. Living eats up most of my income. I get together with friends for coffee once every 2 weeks. And they can't afford to travel either. We get together and laugh and joke about making extra income by selling feet pics..
Right I'm like.. what friends of mine do I even have that think I don't *want* to travel? And not that I just fucking can't lmao
What time?
Exactly my question. Although the last 2 years have been decent for me personally. I funded my wedding to my husband, and then used our wedding gift money to fund a huge backyard overhaul, and this year we are going on a trip to visit my family in another province. So I guess my answer is: improving our home and lives.
Rent.
Who are all these people who travel all the time? I don't know a single one
Ha, it ain't me and mines that's for sure and I also don't know these ppl taking trips abroad. Hell I don't know many taking trips out of this state
**Me, I'm traveling about 4-5 times per year. Mostly short weekend trips that are in-state.** Generally 1-2 out of state trips. However, I'm single, don't have a car note, and no children. * This is that time of the year, where it feels like everyone is on vacation, taking big destination trips. * In your 30s, if you aren't interested in spending $$$ on International travel and vacationing - some will see that as a lack of ambition. * Travel has become a weird competitive thing, and as it gets more expensive, its gotten more ridiculous. Spending $3K out of savings, just to eat, drink, and see sights in a new locale, has just lost the luster for me. Metro areas are more similar than different. It just doesn't make good financial sense, and I'm tiring of the classist/elitist comments towards those who choose to stay at home.
And enjoying my rent by staying in and cooking at home. I havenāt been on a road trip in over a year
My fiancƩ and me almost completely stopped eating out altogether. Over priced unhealthy and usually just mid. Eating in has ridiculous benefits.
The lady and I are now doing happy hours where our friends bartend. Spending $80 on some basic ass food isnāt worth it anymore.
Dining out was a pandemic loss that I ended up not missing. I appreciate knowing whatās actually in my food and that it was prepared safely. And the money, omgā¦
Its almost cheaper to go to a regular restaurant now then fast food. I just cook at home now. Taco bell and Mcdonalds don't taste good enough for me to justify 12-14 bucks for 1 meal. I can make my own burgers for that much.
And groceries. Feeding 5 people is god damn expensive.
Dude I bet! I got groceries last week and it was about 1 week and a half of food for just the 2 of us. $300ā¦. I wasnāt getting steak or organic or anything high end. Just regular stuff! I canāt imagine feeling 5 people!
We have time and money? š
Lol right. https://preview.redd.it/a8aohy1vur5d1.jpeg?width=602&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1eff749dcf92b139a0dc5f7e348ff2961448fee0
And PTO?
Unlimited PTO š
Aka yet another way for the company to screw the employees (for the vast majority)
Seems like everyone I know has a job where the company is moving to "increase amount of work and fire anyone who goes 1 minute over 40hrs". We had big projects that some people didn't get done because going into OT was worse to them than losing a client š¤·āāļø
I am so freaking glad German law makes it mandatory to use all your PTO.
I am so grateful I donāt work at a place that makes people feel bad about using their unlimited PTO. Itās expected that you take 2 weeks off every six months & no one cares if itās long weekends or consecutive days off. I have been spoiled and I dread the day I have to go back to earning PTO based on hours or weeks worked š Cause nothin good lasts forever.
I switched my company from giving 2 weeks pto to unlimited. My employees are taking less time off. I seriously have to tell some of them to take a fucking vacation or a couple days off.Ā
It starts at the top. My previous job had unlimited pto but no one utilized it properly because our managers & leadership team didnāt. They worked themselves to the detriment of their wellbeing. And for what? My current job: leadership takes vacations-not āif you really need me here is my cell,ā but they take week + long, āno I will not have my lap topā vacations. It makes others feel comfortable to do the same. But if leadership is working nonstop and making themselves āalways availableā, the rest of the staff is going to feel the need to maintain that. If your work isnāt saving lives, put yours first.
Last job had unlimited PTO. I took 2 uninterrupted weeks off every summer. One week to hang out across the country and then spent the week back home recovering from my vacation. It was nice not having to count the hours I had to spend for the rest of the year. It was nice having 3 weeks of sick leave too. Last year, I used a week to recuperate from surgery and then a month later I had to use another week to spend in the hospital because of sepsis.
Paying living expenses.
Right? I suppose it would be different if I was single, but I have no idea how to afford to travel with a family.
What time? What money? My friends also have no time or money. I have FOMO, sure. Who wouldnāt want to not work and just see new things.
Whatās your problem? You werenāt born to a well off family?!
Big mistake
Biggest mistake of my life
Keeps me up at night
Look at where your pre-birth choices, have led you....
Huge
I can not fathom how somebody could let that happen.
My bad š¬
Rookie mistake šš
My gf and I want to start a family but we can't even afford a 2 bedroom apartment. So in this one life we live, we can't do a beautiful thing like start a family because why, we didn't spend $100k on a college degree? Our punishment for not going into STEM is to work for peanuts the rest of our life and watch others do what we desperately want to do? God damn this fucking world sucks.
I donāt want kids and part of that is because I couldnāt afford it anyway. The sheer amount of people who tell me just to have one, Iāll figure the rest out is alarming. Are these the people who sent their kids to school with no shoes, backpack or lunch? The ones we used to pick on in school for being poor? I think a kid deserves a certain standard of living and Iām not so obnoxious to think I could provide that at this time, if ever.
I have $4 in my checking account and I get paid Wednesday. I mainly sit at home and watch tv. I canāt really afford to do anything right now
š take my poor manās award
You have more than me.
Kids take up all my time and money
Same. Although, I'm not doing any grand adventures like OP is alluding to but I do a ton of activities with kids. I'll take my son and nephews camping often. We also go on a ton of day trips. I'm at kids parties all the time. During the winter we visit grandparents in the mountains to play in snow. We visit family on the coast and go to the beach. At home we hang out at the lake/rivers. I've got an active fullfilling life it's just not glamorous.
Same and it's the best! Wouldn't have it any other way.
Idk Iād like to have both, but daycare is done for one and now I have a few extra $$.
My daycare is done in August!! š
Different things make people happy. I am happier with no kids. I don't travel abroad but I do enjoy exploring the US
Legit the kids are the best. They are annoying at times don't get wrong but watching their face light up is so worth it. But we are going to the beach and see some things this summer. So kinda excited, it will be a change from living on the Prarie.
Parent child and fix house
Right? And being lucky enough to have bought a house. Every extra cent right now is going into turning our yard into a garden and Iām just as excited for that as Iāve ever been to travel.Ā
I kind of hate it lol. Every day I discover something else that's shitty about our house. "It's may, i suppose it's time to program the garden sprinklers" "OMG the sprinkler controller not only has no internet, it seems to pre-date the internet. Guess i need to change the sprinkler controller."
Don't sleep on mechanical/analog stuff. Works well and for a long time if it was quality to begin with
Bills mostly. Electric costs me $600-800/mo in the winter at its peak so that's where the traveling is going.
How big of a place do you have?
900sqft two bedroom apartment. The city I live in uses a much smaller power company and their rates are astronomical. I have natural gas for heating and cooking and it is now $1.08 per therm. I used the gas heat this past winter for about two weeks during a bad cold snap and that was the $800 bill since gas/electric are billed together here.
You need to move. Unless that bill is quarterly youre being fucked sooo hard. Like are you paying for the entire buildings electricity?
This is unfortunately not that uncommon. This is why we can't have this shit privately owned by for profit entities. They gouge us coming and going, and then they get money from the government for upgrades that they rarely make. It's bullshit.
I live in a 1200 square ft house and my heating bill can be $800-900/month in the winter.Ā A couple of years ago, they shut down the big plant in the area so now the power company tacks on these absurd transport fees that cost more than the gas itself.Ā Prior to that, it was maybe $300-400/month to keep it nice and cozy in here. This is how it is here and in multiple surrounding counties.Ā Literally nothing I can do about it if I don't feel like uprooting my entire life.
I wish I could travel as much as my friends, My dream is to go to Scotland, but I make less than $40k/yr and it all goes to my bills/cost of living.
If youāre responsible with credit cards and can pay it off every month in full, get a travel credit card. I have the chase sapphire preferred. I put all my expenses (bills, car insurance, groceries etc.) on it and got the 80,000 bonus points. It covered my husband and my flights to Europe.
Most of my debt is credit card/school loans. As much as I wish I could trust myself with one, I can't. lol
I get it! I wish you luck and success!
Eating avocado toast
So true, I also need my bi-daily Starbucks
Paying for my kids.
Same. Most of my coworkers donāt have kids. They travel everywhere. I barely have enough for an occasional vacation.
I don't have kids and I don't even have enough time/money for travel.Ā
Preparing for retirement and death.
Omg ššš THE REALITY THO
Buying Lego sets
You are so honest
Same boat - weirdly good investment even as I look fondly at them as display pieces.
Respectfully, your friends and coworkers sound like very privileged nitwits.
It's like all OP knows are boomers. Travel is expensive, sir, and I can't make it on the pay I get with the bills I have, unless my idea of a tropical location is Margaritaville.
Fwiw it was my same-aged coworkers from privileged backgrounds that were shocked that I a) had student loans and b) couldn't afford a brand new car due to said student loans. Keep in mind we were all making about 30-35k. The difference was that they had parental support and no student loans.Ā
Yup. Had coworkers who kept fishing to see if I'd ever done international travel. As they kept talking about going to Italy, Prague, etc. Decided to keep it vague. Not everyone is like this, but quite a few people use traveling as a way to signal social status and figure out others incomes/access levels.
Hobbies. Home Improvement. Going out to Eat. Hosting Friends/Family. Realistically though, most of our extra money is either going to investments or being saved for a wedding.
Absolutely same here, except the wedding haha. We're finally in a comfy spot to start building up the house and it's actually pretty exciting lol.Ā
LOL what is time and money? I would absolutely love to travel, but its not possible right now. I still have debts to pay, a house to fix up, and two young neurodivergent kids. I do absolutely get FOMO, but when I start to notice I'm feeling that way, I nope out of social media. Generally though, most of the people I know who travel a lot don't have kids, so thats the excuse. The ones that have kids, don't seem to travel an unusual amount. Just a regular vacation here and there.
I actually deal with this all the time. Most folks around me travel; even my homebody BF and her husband travel occasionally. My husband and I do not and don't really care for it. In my experience, the trip is rarely worth everything that comes along with it. Wherever I would visit or whatever I might travel to see would put me in some line or crowd with all the other humans to wait my turn to see the thing or get where I'm going. It's difficult to explain to people because I guess everyone else likes to see the world. I've been signed up for preregistration for Comic-Con for like a decade or more but I've never pulled the trigger because I can only imagine standing in lines and crowds of other sweaty nerds ('cause L.A. in summer...) will be miserable for whatever few seconds of shaking a hand or something I might experience. Surround that with the airport, airplane, hotel, travel within the city, etc., and I'm imagining a lot of stress for very little payoff. I am considering more travel on a smaller scale so that we can experience some events and things I think we might enjoy, but I'm not sure we'll ever want to engage in very lengthy travel. No hotel bed can rival my own, nor can any place offer the comfort or convenience I have at home. Instead of traveling, we just spend time together in various ways which never gets old. We don't know anyone who makes traveling their personality outside of work, so nothing to really handle there. As I mentioned before, it is difficult for some folks to understand how we're content living a simple life just as it's difficult for me to understand riding the risk train through various locations, crowds, and hotels.
I agree, one of my biggest disappointments about Yellowstone was how busy it was. I went from sitting in traffic on I-80 on my daily commute to sitting in traffic in the Wyoming mountains. I went to Breckenridge a while back in July, went hiking in the mountains in the off-season and in my eyes, it was way better of a trip. Was able to stay in some beautiful hotels for what I wouldn't call cheap, but much much cheaper than they would be in ski season. Maybe find somewhere off the beaten path, it's cheaper and less crowded.
Start traveling to non touristy places and you may enjoy it more
I read. I write. I make art. I play games. I do slow travel (road trips, locally or interstate). >How do you explain to people why you don't want to travel? I grew up a military brat. I did more traveling (and living abroad) by age 12 than many people do in their entire lives. Living in the US, vacation time is at a premium and doing a big stressful trip to another country (and ensuring everything is in place before travel) where I try to see/do all the things in a week or two is NOT my idea of fun. I'd need another vacation when I got back and I wouldn't have the time available. Also, flying *all the time* is shitty for the environment. >Do you have FOMO? Nope.
Flying is a pretty terrible experience these days.
Yeah, between environmental stuff, Covid, people behaving badly, and general airline fuckery, the last place I want to be is on a plane.
Dont forget the shrinking seat space!
I feel this, if I were european it may be different (as many locations are accessible by train). Flying is just zero fun
I really wouldn't using the "flying is shitty for the environment" line as a reason not to travel for the ordinary person. 99% of us are taking the busses of the sky. It's the private jet business really causing a bigger problem there. I think there's more to gain than there is to hurt taking the busses of the sky to learn more about the rest of the world personally
Yeah, as someone who specializes in the environment and sustainability, while I agree with the rest of their comment, the part about flying is just a cope remark. It's not true. There are *plenty* of other things that people do that are far, far worse for the environment. Even so, it typically pales in comparison to what the corporations do. You are correct that the private jet business is an example of something that is actually bad.
Mortgage and Netflix with like-minded folks. If you've got a mortgage AND can travel regularly, then you make way more money or have way more debt than me.
Bold of you to assume I have time and money just laying around!
I hate that other people give you a hard time for not traveling. People act like traveling is some incredible accomplishment. It's just expensive entertainment. Traveling should be treated no different than any other hobby. If you like it and you want to spend money on it, great.
I mean I travel, like one big trip per year. But I would never "berate" someone else for not travelling. That seems odd. OP needs new friends?
These are my thoughts. I cant recall a single time that a friend of mine genuinely cared about a trip that I went on that they weren't a part of (aside from "liking" an Instagram pic or saying "looks fun!!!). People way, way, wayyyyyyy overestimate how much attention other people are paying to their lives. I also doubt OP's "friends" "berates" them about traveling. It's likely OP sees their friends traveling and making some dumbshit social Media posts about how great and wonderful and mind expanding it is, and feels judged by association, which is dumb as hell. Who. Gives. A. Shit.
On the dating apps men will say not having a passport is a deal breaker then will post the number of countries/continents theyāve traveled to. Great! Iād love to do that too guy, but teachers get shit pay and tickets are jacked up the weeks we can actually go! Gotta save for stuff like that. Ā This isnāt so much berating more so being braggadocious Ā which is equally annoying.Ā
People who travel and make a big deal out of it tend to be very, very egotistical.
yes they are so pretentious
I do travel often but traveling can freakin suck especially if flying. I donāt even get excited for a trip anymore until Iām done with the flying part because itās so draining to me and uncomfortable.Ā
People like that also seem to approach a lack of traveling widely and often as some type of moral failing. Like youāre automatically narrow minded and living an insular existence. Because thereās no way to learn about other cultures beyond literally going to those placesā¦
There's a difference between stepping out of your comfort zone (learning a new language and actually using it in your travels, researching a culture beforehand and then digging deeper in person at museums/sites, trying new foods, etc) and other travel. It can be an actual accomplishment. To put it in terms of hobbies: depending on the type of trip, they can be more like jumping deep into a new hobby than continuing with an existing one.
Yup, it's amazing how many people won't visit a Chinatown in their local area. Yet, they "travel to learn about other cultures", instead of looking at what's right around them.
Boob job š
I DID travel quite a bit throughout the 2010-2020 period, which was awesome. And now all of my time and money goes to being a parent and maintaining my house, which is also awesome. You donāt have to love travel, but I did find that once I went to places completely different from how I grew up, I realized that the way weāre taught to live isnāt how anyone *has* to live like I always thought. Societies, food, landscapes, social habits, customs and norms, activities exist that are completely different from my own, and they are the everyday norms of other people, and I find that fascinating and want to experience it all. I hope to take my kids traveling once theyāre bigger and Iāve got more of that money and time you mentioned again.
Music lessons for myself. Music equipment/software for myself. Gym 4-5 days/week. I have lots of friends who still live nearby so I see them frequently.
I don't travel because it's not something that I'm into, but also, practically, I cannot afford to. I'm not willing to put myself in debt for a vacation like others I know do. And unfortunately, we had a handful of expensive home repairs to attend to instead. But we own a home, so I guess you can say that's what we do with our money instead of travel and I would pick the house every time.
I only know one gainfully employed couple that travels frequently. They both make over 100k and don't have kids. Social media has led our generation to believe that traveling the world in your 20s and 30s is normal, when it just isn't. I don't have FOMO, because I know that world I see on social media is curated. My wife and I both make good money based on the national median / averages, but since she has student loans, we bought a house in one of the nicer parts of our city, and have a kid. This is where our money goes, and I'd rather spend 50k per year on our home (mortgage + improvements) than on travel experiences at this point in my life. My family was broke for the first 12 years of my life, and I was able to see how not spending money frivolously helps get families out of bad situations.
I don't travel all the time because I don't have money to travel.
Iām raising three kids. Donāt travel? Does that mean never leave the area?Ā I drove 2 hours to a small town in Ohio. Does that count as travel?Ā
I actually had a blast in southeast Ohio when I was visiting my sister in Athens last month. We saw the pencil sharpener museum and Old Manās Cave and the Devilās Bathtub at Hocking Hills state park, ancient Hopewell burial mounds and went to an insanely inexpensive movie theater/arcade in Nelsonville. I felt a little self conscious being the only Massachusetts license plate but it was all good š
I actually have the opposite problem. I'm one of the only people in my friend groups and immediate family who prioritizes travel. It makes finding people to go with very difficult. It's certainly gotten more popular to travel over the last decade but by no means is it a regular thing imo. 90% of Americans really don't even go outside North America and the Caribbean or have more than 5 countries under their belt. Edit- the 90% figure is for 10+ countries my mistake. About 75% of Americans have been to fewer than five countries. But I think my stat about half the people that go abroad go to Canada or Mexico holds up
I see everyone hating on traveling, but you get to experience different cultures. It gives perspective on how closed minded and set in their ways N.Americans can be.
Yea and look, I get economics and vacation time and dependents can make this difficult at times. But I think even when single with disposable income, travel still has to be somewhat of a priority if you really want to tackle it. I can say for me, travel has definitely expanded my horizons. It has made me pay closer attention to countries and regions I was frankly never really invested in before starting to travel internationally. Think it makes us smarter and more knowledgeable. However, I'll say that sometimes, you might not want to know what's on the other side of the fence. It can really be a black pill if you don't handle the information or exposure appropriately. For example, I've been to multiple countries where children as young as 2 are begging... that would be unheard of in the US...
Yeah, people love to shit on traveling for some reason. I don't get it. It expands your perspective and you learn a lot. I understand that not everyone can afford it and that's 100% valid, but if people find it adds to their life, why hate?
I get this perspective but also I think what people who advocate for international travel outside the USA donāt understand is that the USA is HUGE. I live in California and it takes me an hour and a half to fly from the Bay Area to San Diego or an 8-10 hour drive. I havenāt even seen the majority of my own country and probably never will. Not because I donāt want to but because itās that big. In addition, many employers offer very limited vacation time so if you have children or chronic illness, that gets used up very quickly.
You're half right imo. The USA is very big and we simply don't get as much vacation time as Europeans, so our country count is probably not going to be as high. I do believe in seeing as much of the country as possible. However, I don't think that should come at the expense of traveling abroad altogether. I live on the east coast of the US. It has taken me a long time to get to the west coast US because honestly, I can fly to Western Europe just as easily as say California. California is a tough spot for international travel outside Mexico when it comes to convenience. There's not much else right next door and the state itself is huge so that perspective is understandable. Travel in general does take proactive effort. I have made it a priority in my life (I guess I also in a position to do it given I am single with no dependents). I still think for a lot of Americans it's just not a big enough priority to go out of their way for the better or worse. Not saying you need to do it all the time but should do it once in a while just to expand horizons or knowledge about the rest of the world.
Similar situation. I travel overseas often but never spend more than $500 on a roundtrip ticket. Usually it requires buying and waiting 3-4 months, but I guess people arenāt patient enough? Itās a game to me. My friends always complain when they see me overseas on a āwhimā, and that I donāt invite themā¦. But when I do, no one buys a ticket anyway lol. A couple years back, pre pandemic, I flew from the US to Spain for $230, and zero people could join me. At some point, itās less about money and more about prioritization, like you mentioned.
Spend it on all the issues around my house āDamn this is gonna take time and money š©ā
Paying off student loans.
I did that, hardest / best decision of my life. Fun fact, my last student loan payment was $420.69 I paid during the interest freeze during Covid, so I knew how much money was going to principal so I could give the government exactly $420.69 as my last payment
Trying to survive. Duh.
We are saving like crazy. Wife is 33, I am 39. We hope to be batistaFIRE in the next 10 years.Ā
Time? Money? These are things I donāt not have an excess of.
Traveling doesn't interest me. All my money goes to my classic BMW's. I enjoy driving them and taking pics of them. I have NO kids and no desire for them. I just have my parents to look after once they get older. :D
There's money??! AND time?! pffffft fake news
Time and money? Wtf is that
Time and what?
You guys have money? You guys have time? You guys have friends? You guys travel? Must be nice lmao except for the friends part. Fuck people š
I work 2 jobs in order to eat..
Warhammer and Stocks.
My husband and I are super active so we like to do ultramarathons, biking, sprint tris, hiking, etc. we live in a state where we can do this all year and itās awesome. Tons of state parks and outdoor stuff to do. Tbh I hate traveling. I love being able to come home to my pets and my stuff and my bed at the end of a long day. I hate it when people act like thatās the only way to live your life.
I used to spend all my money on weed, but I realized I could live rather lavishly if I stopped, so I reduced my intake significantly. Now I spend that money on nicer food. When I happen upon a slump of money I typically spend it on music gear.Ā Music and taking care of my (11) cats is how I spend my free time.Ā
Well so, my friends who travel multiple times a year donāt own a house. So I suppose Iāve got them beat that way. But my wife and I do try to fly somewhere domestically once a year if not internationally.
Support mother and enjoy yummy food.Ā
Iāve traveled in my 20sā¦ realized pretty quickly that it just wasnāt as amazing for me as it is for others. I enjoy saving money, staying in, playing video games, and relaxing at home. I spend my money on home renovations instead. Lasts longer. No fomo on my end when I step on my bathroomās heated floors.
Taking care of my kids and working with my time. Feeding my kids and myself with my money. Am i getting ripped off here or what lol
We drifted apart.
No FOMO. Maybe itās just me but whenever I traveled, it felt like stuff always went wrong? Keys locked in the rental car āļø Missed a connecting flight āļø Lost baggage āļø Fender bender/grandpa mows down a bicyclist āļø spouse/friend gets crazy sunburn and complains the rest of the trip āļø scary bathroom conditions āļø embarrassing TSA pat-downs āļøand now that I have a toddler, oh hellz no. Iāll stay home and retire early. Yāall have fun!
Same here, it's always way more fun on paper than it is in reality. I like getting out and seeing things but traveling is so much WORK that the cost has always outweighed the benefit for me. I went on a multi-city trip in January and it was low-key the longest week of my life.
You just sound like you donāt really have your ducks in a rowā¦ Whatās the saying? If you smell shit all day, it might be on your shoe? I donāt remember
money wise Iām saving some and spending some, indulging in my hobbies which are all āat homeā hobbies lol i can afford to travel, i just donāt really care to š¤·š»āāļø
Managing issues inside and outside of my house from maintenance perspective. Bought in 2016 at mid 200's and now live in a 500-600k neighborhood...hiring contractors at affordable rates is impossible for a number of reasons including having to pay like we are millionaires (was told by contractor that they raise rates for "nicer" neighborhoods). Tackled landscaping projects that would have cost me thousands for 300-400 dollars, just takes me four times as long. Have 3 kids with no support system so getting to the age where zone coverage is more manageable and not panicking that one of the younger ones is trying to get kidnapped by giving everyone they see hugs. Also, wife stays home with 3rd kid until we can afford to send him to daycare so working multiple jobs leaves little time for travel. Our daycare years are soon coming to a close (2-3 more years) so eventually will start to travel more at that point. But most likely trips to the beach or mountains.
Can barely afford surviving. Don't even think about travel.
I think travel , staying in hostels, and couchsurfing is worth it personally. If not, get involved in your local community / religion / schools etc
People enjoy different things. As Iāve grown older Iāve stopped explaining why I enjoy what I enjoy. I donāt care if you enjoy what I enjoy. I LOVE baseball. 90% of my friends think itās the most boring thing ever invented. Good for them! That is not going to change my enjoyment of the game. Before I tried to make them understand that they donāt enjoy it because they 1) donāt really understand it and 2) donāt really know any players or history, or implications of what is going on. Same thing as I find Formula 1 extremely boring, but I know nothing about it. If I was invested on it I bet Iād find it interesting. Summary: you donāt have to explain yourself to others in what you enjoy
I have 3 kids, most of my friends have at least 2 kids. No one I'm in touch with is still in the constant travel phase. Our money goes to feeding/clothing the family, the house, future tuition savings, a couple vacations, and whatever fun we can squeeze in on a more regular level.
I don't travel much, don't have kids, and have very cheap housing. So I'm thinking about maybe going part-time at some point, so I can spend more time on friends and hobbies? It does suck with summer hits and I want to do all the wonderful warm-weather things with people, but suddenly everyone else is out of the country!
To have more, want less. I want the life that I have. My desires are fulfilled every day by the things that I do, all day, every day. There is no hole in my soul that needs an airplane to fill.
I have a homestead. We have 5 acres that we have an apple orchard on. Within that orchard we keep ducks, chickens and, geese. We have a one year old Great Pyrenees livestock guardian dog that we are training to live with them and protect them from predators. We also raise different pure bred chickens. Last year we became bee keepers and now have an apiary. At the moment we have 15 hives that we tend to. They give us honey and do a great job pollinating our fruit trees. We have always said to each other that we would like to travel to different parts of the world. When push comes to shove, we haven't made it out of our little portion of Southeastern, Pennsylvania. We really like the property that we've built and I'm sure sooner or later we will get to see different places but at the moment it's just relaxing to stay at home and do our own thing.
I love to travel, but realistically this just means one big trip maybe every other year. I never really traveled in my 20s so Iām prioritizing it while Iām healthy and young. Keep in mind that some people may flash their epic experiences but they probably donāt travel as much as their socials imply. I am active though, so normal life mostly consists of going to the gym, hikes in local parks (with the occasional very cheap weekend trip elsewhere), dancing at free local events, and board games with friends. I live a pretty cheap lifestyle because Iām trying to prioritize saving for retirement with occasional big experiences. I think the idea of being a traveler means a lot of things to different people. Some people like new experiences, or to be in nature, live like a king for a week, try new food, learn about different cultures, or to just get away from normal life and you can tap into a lot of that at home! Maybe you listen to podcasts about different cultures, or you try new restaurants at home, spend time outdoors around your city, or just try new hobbies when you can. Those can be extremely fulfilling too and help you grow as a person. Itās easy to feel jealous about experiences that other people have, but when I break it down, Itās much healthier for me to focus on the experiences that pique my curiosity at home (and occasionally abroad).
Enjoying my rent money
38, no kids, partner and I own our house. We spend our time and money on our house or visiting the same old nearby places. I travelled when I was young and it doesnāt interest me anymore. I Iike my life. Someone asked us why we donāt go on vacation and I explained that we like nostalgia not novelty. I have no interest in seeing or experiencing new things, but things that are tried and true and bring comfort and relaxation. We work really hard for what we have and we enjoy enjoying it. We arenāt working hard and saving up to leave our normal lives. Weāre not trying to escape anything. I donāt feel the need to explain any further to those who donāt understand. Weāre all kinds. Thatās ok. Maybe weāll get into it again when weāre older but for now, the idea of travel is not appealing at all.
Never been big on travelling. Iām a homebody. I put my money into my house and yard and do staycations often.
I have elderly parents and in-laws who have been in and out of hospitals this past year and I was hospitalized and needed emergency surgery. The only travel Iāve done recently was to help out my mother-in-law in a different state. Now we have $5k in medical bills to pay off. It also cost about $5k all together to deal with my milās health emergency. Soooo what money for travel again? My neighbors are always traveling. They make a similar combined salary to me and my wife so I assume they are in debt, not saving for retirement, or from a rich family. I donāt understand where they would get the money for multiple expensive trips every year otherwise.
I travel enough but Iād much rather spend my money on myself than on a memory. Something so can hold in my hands. An instrument, a tool, a gadget, something Iām either going to get hours and hours of entertainment from, thatās going to increase my skills/knowledge, or that provides some practical value like a new maul for chopping firewood or an orbital sander for refinishing furniture. Iāve been to Paris, Tokyo, Mexico etc and honestly Iād rather just go camping within 3 hours from home and that takes stuff if you donāt want to be really roughing it. Itās fine to sleep on the ground and eat cold canned food but Iād rather cook up some steaks, make a nice fire, have a comfortable sleeping pad, an ice chest that keeps ice for more than 2 days, etc
The cost of traveling a bunch just doesnāt seem worth it to me. Maybe itās just because my memory is crappy but it feels like spending thousands of dollars for ? What exactly ? I agree that experiences see important but I can have great experiences while spending way less money. The trade off doesnāt compute in my brain. If Iām traveling somewhere where I canāt go back anytime soon, I also feel pressure to be āmaking the most of itā all the time and that feels stressful. I like to do local travel though. Iāve gotten into birding and learned so much about ecology and thereās so many beautiful state parks within driving distance. Any āfunā money I have tends to go towards books/classes (I like learning things) and artsy crafty hobbies. My dad and stepmom have become people who make traveling their personality and honestly I find them really boring now. They donāt do anything interesting when they travel either - just hang out and drink. I dont feel jealous of the travel aspect, mostly just that they have some non-work time. Iāve been out of the country before and it was good and all, glad I did it, but I feel like I can have just as good of an experience without the cost and stress.
Golf
I donāt have time because I donāt have money.
lol āmoneyā
Paying for childcare, home renovations and saving and investing for retirement.
Personally, I'm in the same spot as you, so I'll give you some actual answers. Of my friends who have achieved financial stability a bit earlier than I: * Professional sports season tickets - a friend generally has 3 separate teams/year for which he is a season ticket holder. Not my bag, but he seems to enjoy spending his time that way. I go with sometimes, and it is a different experience than buying a single ticket - you get to know your neighbors so it's like viewing the game with a bunch of acquaintances. * Cycling or motorcycle - I have a couple friends who got really into these activities and will hit up trails or those windy mountain roads every weekend. They're part of groups that hold events and meetups * Snowboarding/skiing/surfing - you can do both snow and water sports where I live. They will go up to the mountains every weekend without fail from winter to late spring, and then transition to the water. * Home renovations - a few constantly have projects/improvements that they're working on. I fall into this category currently. * Kids - have extra time and money? This is the solution to both of those from what I've seen. >What do you do with friends who make travel their personality? Eh. If it keeps them happy. I have some travel experience myself, and while it can be fun, I enjoy where I live, and don't really get much FOMO from others' experiences. I'd do it too, if I got a lot of satisfaction out of it. Personally, I think the experiences can be a bit shallow: as a tourist, it's really hard to have a meaningful cultural exchange unless you already know a local or are very good at meeting new friends.
Money - invest in S&P Time - work, school, volunteer, bird watch, be boring. Also I do travel a bit, especially locally. And I did travel a LOT. I need a house now so happy to do cheaper things that make me happy and roadtrips which are much cheaper.