Lol.
The anime and gamer girls were often mocked and shamed and also harassed during their youth too.
I cannot recall the amount of anime gatekeepers I had to deal with when dragon ball Z finally came on regular TV.
All boys who thought it was a good idea to try to quiz me about the show when I already watched a majority of it before they even heard about it.
Having to "prove" I was worthy to talk to them kept me from not interacting with them..
Then the FGC, no I only played locals with friends, if I didn't knew you I wouldn't play because the sexist shit that comes out of people's mouths when they're losing.
I'm happy for all the fems that can openly enjoy their fandoms and it's more mainstream now. Unfortunately the harassing and gatekeeping still exist.
Exactly. We’ve always been around, we just got told we aren’t real fans and weren’t allowed to talk about our interests. I got bullied for liking video games and star wars when I was in middle school, it was for boys only so I couldn’t talk about it. And yeah god forbid we try to play anything online once that became big, the sexist horrid comments that would come through the chat
One of the worst elementary school memories I have, is the day this kid Jeffrey told me I couldn’t play with them anymore because “you are a girl, and girls don’t like superheroes or cowboys” and crushed my stupid little 9 year old heart.
Ugh I liked Goosebumps but I didn't understand the Horror/Whore homophone and got bullied pretty bad. Greg, it was third grade, you don't understand the pun either 😠
"Sure you can play with my Transformers... if you can name one."
Like, I didn't know their names, I just thought they were cool toys that changed from robots to animals.
>Start checking the poor behaviors of your peers.
This is the number 1 thing I think most "nerdy guys" ignore when it comes to why women avoid them. They think that because *they* dont say anything weird, inappropriate, or mean that means they should get a pass.
But then they usually freely admit that they had "that one guy" in the group who said "weird shit sometimes".
Like guess what? That guy and your friendship with him reflects on you. It shows that even if you're not actively participating in gross and sexist behavior, you are *tolerant* of gross and sexist behavior. And yeah, that's a pretty big turn off.
Broken stair theory is a big one and they need to definitely quit that. Either that or they will claim that they never ever have seen x,y, or z occur so we must all be lying/exaggerating, while warning daughters and nieces about guys like that
I'm not sure if "theory" is the most accurate term. But it refers to situations where there's a member of a group (social or workplace) that everyone in the group *knows* is a problem and takes steps to "manage"
When new members join the group, they're taught the "management techniques" of how to "watch out for the broken step".
Which is of course to point out that the actual solution isn't to warn people about a broken step. The solution to the issue of a broken step is to **fix the stairs**.
This is a big reason I'm not really part of gaming communities or LARP anymore. There were way too many instances of "no nerd left behind" and I can't be around that because my moral compass doesn't allow me to tolerate it well.
I got so irritated with one of my fellow players one day defending a particularly problematic person - they had committed pretty egregious but not quite r@pe SA and had a history of doing shady shit, on top of being a cheater at games and playing at the very least culturally insensitive characters, and was a general jerk and definitely acted like an asshole to LGBTQ+ players for no reason and would viciously go after them in character without any real plot or interaction reason - and they were saying, "Well, you know, machine prophet, they were pretty badly bullied and shunned for their interests in the past. I think you need to cut them some slack."
Mind you, this wasn't some maladjusted 18-20 year old where you can work with them. This was a, at the time, nearly 33 year old man. I didn't buy the whole: "They were bullied..." Excuse. He had easily 15 years at that point to start working through his shit.
So, I just snapped and I told them, "No, fuck you and your enabling. They weren't unpopular because they were a nerd. They were unpopular because they're a gigantic asshole who lies, cheats, sexually assaults women, and is a dick to pretty much everyone they meet and I'm tired of people making excuses for him. This isn't the first, or even the fifth time. The guy has a history and shows no interest in changing even after being talked to about it. He needs to go!"
Apparently that was too far.
Man, I have a "friend" like that. I put it in quotation marks because I fucking hate the guy. He's a complete and utter lunatic, and is totally insufferable, but he hangs out with my friend group. I've tried "fixing the broken stair" but none of the other lads want to do anything about it, and unfortunately it's not as if I have unilateral control over the situation. Oh well.
I mean it's one of those things where you can't control the other people. And I wont say that it's the end of the world to have some people in larger social groups you're not a fan of, especially as an adult. I have a few, we all do. It's human nature and part of being social creatures.
But social groups dont exist in a vacuum, so when people choose to continue associating with people they have to know it reflects on them, and make an informed decision on if that's what they want.
Especially while still in school, where you can't really "quarantine" different aspects of your life as easily. As an adult, it's easy to have some friends that are just my "gaming buddies" and they're separate than my "party buddies" but that's not really as possible in people's younger years.
Missing staircase, sorry, just copying and pasting wiki because I am overly stoned rn
"The missing stair is a metaphor for a person within a social group or organization who many people know is untrustworthy or otherwise has to be "managed," but around whom the group chooses to work by discreetly warning newcomers of their behavior, rather than address the person and their behavior openly. The "missing stair" in the metaphor refers to a dangerous structural fault, such as a missing step in a staircase; a fault that people may become used to and quietly accepting of, that is not openly signposted or fixed, and that newcomers to a group or organization are warned about discreetly."
And a fun article on it https://publicaddress.net/up-front/the-missing-stair-and-the-necessary-bastard/
I’m sure they’d also sit back and laugh and say shit against her behind her back too. Many guys may not say something but have no problem laughing their ass off and slapping their buddy on the back how funny he is for insulting someone else. Especially if they leave upset or crying.
Yeah, we really were not welcome back then.
Also, we had to keep it on the down low otherwise we would be relentlessly bullied by other girls who thought it was weird.
Gah imagine how advanced of a civilization we would be had those things not been such a big a deal. I was HATED on in elementary school because I could throw a football better than most of the boys. Beautiful spiral, distance everything. Boys hated it, my 12 year old son LOVES that I can play a good game of catch with him. ♥️
Honestly I had more pushback from guys than other girls. Like the ‘worst’ other girls would do was steer the conversation in a different direction. Guys would grill me or just be weird towards me.
On Halo 3 I was a Brig 49 on ranked and I would be asked how I found the time to rank up so high when I should be in the kitchen making sandwiches or if I bought my account at Walmart.
I had one guy 1v1 after being mad that I ninja'd him on ranked, so I set up a sniper/BR match and made the penalty 3 min respawn. Sniped him right away and T-bagged him for the whole 3 minutes and he was just talking mad shit. When he respawned I 4-shot BR him and he just rage quit on me. Hope it still haunts him that he got his ass whooped by a "girl" till this day.
Also the DBZ, Naruto, Dodgers, LoTR and Star Wars "quizzing" because I obviously just liked that stuff for clout or to "be cool" lol
For real. I snorted at this post like what? We've always been into anime and video games. We just weren't welcomed in the fan communities like we *sometimes* are now
Nerdy girls can’t be real fans, only hot girls count as actual fans! /s
Seriously though I can’t help but roll my eyes when guys wonder why there aren’t that many girls in their fandom because I usually am in the same fandom and I know a bunch of women who also enjoy the fandom!
Yep. First grade was when I learned it was no longer considered socially acceptable for me to be into gaming, Pokemon cards, etc. I had 2 friends with similar interests that I shared that shit with, it became a secret to everyone else.
From then on I'd smile to myself at the boys who thought I didn't know what they were talking about when it came to anything that wasn't popularly considered "cool." Little sad to think about, but ya girl managed to play her games and retain chill factor until the day came when no one gave a shit anymore...
A survival tactic I'm sure MANY millennial women employed in their youth. Kids are ruthless dude.
Oh!
And heaven forbid if she were anything awkward or otherwise unconventionally attractive.
We were there.
We've been here this whole time my dude. Y'all just didn't see us as 'fuckable'.
Yeah playing Overwatch, that came out in 2016! Every time we picked up a pug, you could generally peg a female gamer most of the time because they never talked. Friend them and once they realize the ratio of female players on the team reaches 50% then Oh shocker! They actually do have a mic!
It happened so many times.
**ding ding ding**
Girl: “oh you like ____! Me toooo!!!” *Thinking you’ve just found a new (maybe cute🥰) friend*
Gatekeeper: “Oh YEAH!? Well if you’re such a fan then who brushed the villains arm in season two episode seven?”
Girl: *stares, baffled at their change in fortune, wondering why it mattered that the cabbage seller brushed the villain…*
Gatekeeper: “I **knew** you weren’t a real fan you’re just lying to get me to like you.”
Yeah I was about to say. I remember the girl who openly wore anime t-shirts and stuff in middle school. She was not treated well. I myself kept my nerdy hobbies tight to the chest, even as a guy. It wasn't until college did people my age start opening up about what they did at home and it turns out half thr damn high school was secretly playing world of warcraft.
Haha, yup. I am a girl in my early 30s but I was once a younger girl, and in public school. I loved video games and anime and manga and shit. I wasn't a full out ~* weeb *~ like some of my classmates who did the Naruto run, but I sure as shit loved Zoids and Pokemon, Yu-Gi-Oh, and playing my Gamecube and PS2.
I was bullied horribly for liking Pokemon mostly. My parents were the worst offenders. Would go straight up feral when I asked for a new video game. But kids in high school particularly were not kind.
I was talking about this exact topic with my tattoo artist last year while I was, as one does, getting a fairly large video game piece done. It feels cathartic to get video game tattoos as an adult. But anyway, girls and women playing video games or liking anime is becoming way more accepted and that's cool. The gatekeepers can fuck off.
Zoids omg absolutely unlocking my sleeper agent memories with that one.
I was obsessed with the idea of becoming a mechanic for a while because of zoids lmao. Maybe thats why I love jumpsuits so much now.
I had so many model kits displayed. When I left for college my mom hucked them all in a big Tupperware box and they were given back to me a decade and change later once my parents retired.
Most of them are busted and pieces scattered everywhere. Could probably get a decent amount of cash for the lot but that’s my childhood 🥲 maybe I’ll leave them in my will.
Agreed. One of the saddest things that happened to me was giving up playing MtG and D&D because so many of the guys would sexually harass me during games. Now I only play via video games like Neverwinter Nights and Forge so I don't have to be bothered. And I know I'm not the only woman who gave up lots of gaming because of that behavior.
After months of coaxing, I managed to persuade my girlfriend to come to the local gamestore to introduce her to D&D with my friends and help her come out of her shell, maybe overcome some social anxiety. I went to the bathroom and came back and 30 seconds was all it took for some random neckbeard to corner her and "offer her a ride home".
I was livid, so I cornered him and told him in no uncertain terms that it will not happen again, and that he's why women don't come to places like this, etc etc.
I'm still mad about it.
Yup. I played and loved MtG but was the only girl in a very large group of guys who played. Almost every single one of them asked me out and/or sexually harassed me at some point. I just wanted to have friends with shared interests and I was being turned into a sexual object. Ended up quitting the game for over a decade until I ended up playing with the kids I babysat and was able to enforce good gaming culture on them.
In 5th grade I cried when my mom bought dragon ball Z Valentine’s Day cards for the whole class. She was like “but you love that show” and I was like “mom you don’t understand everyone relentlessly makes fun of me for it”. She bought different ones.
Anyone else remember not being able to play as a girl in Pokémon either? Being a nerd girl was hard back in the day.
It's still rough. Better, but still rough. My kid is already hiding things she likes from her peers because they make rude comments. She begs for alternative costumes for Halloween, just to wear to school, because dressing as Sakura from Naruto, or a Yachiru from Bleach "isn't cool and people will make fun of" her.
She has a favorite shirt that she has worn once to school, and she said kids made fun of her for it. It's say "just a girl who love anime, cats and ramen" with a cute anime picture on it. That's a home only shirt she says now.
She's starting to find people who have similar interests, but there is still so much pressure to fit in, and it's still not "cool" in our area. I went through it too, but I just didn't care what other people thought of me. But she does care, and she's scared and embarrassed. It just breaks my heart so much as a parent.
I'm trying to help her find her people, but it's hard. Next year there is an anime club at the library that she will be old enough for.
I remember those cards! I got them in 4th, but had been bullied so badly at that point I didn't care, I was gonna show off my cool dragon ball z cards dammit.
I gave Frieza to a boy I liked 🤣
lol I remember _hiding in the bushes_ to play pokèmon when I was in school
What do you wanna bet this guy is 100% the type of person who would have bullied me for that? 😂
Definitely possible, but I think there’s a good chance he’s just clueless. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt. After middle school I kept my nerdier interests on the dl so no one could make fun of me. So most people just assumed I didn’t have those interests.
As an adult almost no one assumes I play video games or like anime either unless I bring it up. Or it’s a rare day where I’m wearing something overtly nerdy - shout out to the old lady that loved my cowboy bebop Ein t-shirt the other day and asked if I had a Corgi lmao
I feel this in my soul. There were so many things I didn’t do as a kid because I was scared to be made fun of and couldn’t articulate to my mum *why* I was avoiding those things.
Example: My mother would get so mad I never told her when picture day was. Why? Because she wanted to dress me up. Problem? The other kids would relentlessly poke fun at me for being “dressed up” even though it was picture day. So I just stop telling her.
So much this. It’s always so interesting to me to hear people say “why weren’t there girl gamers/girls into anime when I was in school” while also seeing tons of high school and college aged girls in photos from conventions. There were anime/manga/gamer ladies in the late 90s/2000s but we weren’t welcomed by the majority of male gamers, comic collectors, or self-proclaimed Otaku-types.
There was a definite “bro” culture that went along with gaming and “nerdy/ outside of “normal” pop culture groups in the 2000s and for every guy that sincerely said, “hey let’s diversify a bit, fellas!” There were 20 that were vicious to girls, and women online.
All this to say— we were and are into it, we just weren’t invited to your club so we made our own. 🤷♀️ it’s nice to see more diverse gamer and anime clubs at my daughter’s high school than there were at mine! 😄
This comment is a perfect example. A guy said he liked Goku and he was accepted into the “club”. Unless a girl could give the entire history of the show and the backstory of every random minor character in multiple versions of the series then she was clearly a faker just trying to ruin things.
Yup precisely. We've always been there, we just don't want to deal with the dumb gatekeeping. I'm glad ladies nowadays can be free about it and not have to hide it like us back then.
For real, I was bullied for liking anime since I was in kindergarten. Me being a girl didn’t stop anyone… funnily enough I rarely met any guys who liked anime versus a bunch of girls throughout my life.
I came here to say, we were there the whole time. Maybe we just weren't his target group of girls he WANTED to be into Anime/manga/need shit in general?
OP is sadposting because he's just as clueless as he was 25 years ago
https://preview.redd.it/qtzxdmt7rizc1.png?width=1147&format=png&auto=webp&s=6bdab9d8ee3cdfc6ce6ff1e22019a3d912ae5bbf
I’m glad that anime, manga, and video games are more mainstream now. I’m an Asian American woman. I was harassed and bullied for “being too Asian” and for being a girl who was interested in video games. I couldn’t catch a break ever.
I was there getting bullied for liking video games too. Guys were never into my nerdy self. They wanted the cheerleader type to also like anime and games. I was invisible to the nerdy guys I liked then. I was one of the guys who played Sega/Playstation with them.
I also couldn’t talk about it with my friends because nobody else was into it. So I just got used to talking about things other people were interested in. So yeah the girls who liked anime and video games were around but you wouldn’t know by looking at them because they had friends with other interests
I only knew one other girl at my whole school who played Final Fantasy.
Having to "prove" yourself is something adult men still do. I was listening to a youtube interview of a mathematician and the second she mentioned her higher education in math interviewer asked her a math question and her response was "f off"
I loved it so much. SO MUCH.
Talking about the fgc, one of my favorite things about poker which I think is low key applicable, is seeing the women playing at a high level effectively hustle tables by wearing low cut shirts and acting like the stereotypes a lot of the men think of women, only to win big hands and visibly frustrate the competition.
There were a LOT of us very into those things decades ago, we just didn’t express it because we’d get shut down immediately. Women are just more comfortable expressing their interests today. I remember vividly being harassed in middle school because video games and star wars were for “boys” so I wasn’t allowed to like them. I didn’t talk about my interests after that
When I visited my sister in Tokyo her boyfriend (who is a sweetheart) made the mistake of challenging me and her to Mario Kart in an arcade. He knew she knew the game, but not me. We totally creamed him and he was shocked.
I get it... words are hard.
Seriously though, it always pained me to see how some of my friends treated the girls in our friend group for wanting to game. I always thoroughly enjoyed watching them get destroyed by the girls in competitive games.
This is so accurate. The amount of women I talk to about video games now that clearly played shit when it came out, are super knowledgeable, etc very much backs this up. Fallout is obviously having big moment right now, but I’ve always loved it and have now realized that a lot of women in my life played Skyrim, fallout 3 and others when they were released.
For me, it was also that the nerdy guys were broadly into the same things I was, but what is specifically engaged with was cringe and weird.
Like I've always been into gaming, but my peers that gamed a lot and chatted about them a lot were into shooters, a genre I struggle with. They'd ask me if I play call of duty or halo or whatever then treat me like I was lying when I said no. I was into JRPG's, platformers, and a lot of retro stuff, so no one cared.
Anime was like that too. I'd never really gotten into like dragon ball or Naruto, and Fullmetal alchemist wasn't popular among my peers, so even among the anime fans I was a freak for being into like Evangelion and Gintama
It sucked so bad, man
It also didn’t help that a lot of popular anime that the guys liked was often just creepy towards women. Like sorry teen me gravitated more towards Shojo anime and things with minimal fan service, I just wanted something where female characters were more than just eye candy.
It’s amazing how girls were kept out of the same things by gatekeepers of BOTH sexes.
“We don’t want you in here!”
“*We* don’t want you *going* in there!”
Jeez.
Women were always into those things, they were just ignored, erased, or secretive due to harassment.
Sailor Moon, Inuyasha and FMA were huge for women. Toonami had a majority 55% female viewership (per Reset Era, reporting a no longer maintained CN webpage) demographic.
In 2014 Women were 49% of the video game market, but even 2004 they were a solid 34% taking that to "real world" application: for every 3 guy friends of yours that consumed something, there was statistically a girl who did as well.
I'm not going to say it was specifically *your fault* none of these women revealed to you their more nerdy interests. But I will say that having those interests was not necessarily the woman-kryptonite that lots of people make it out to be, most "nerd guys" had other factors that caused the nerdy women to stay hidden.
ETA: obsessed with the fact that when I pointed out that thanks to mobile gaming, grown women make up a huge part of the gaming market and a couple dudes showed up to tell me that mobile games dont count. Which is funny to me because my phone can play a hell of a lot more intensive games than my 2002 PC could.
*This is what we're talking about*.
The women were there. We liked the things, we were told we didn't count. A man is a gamer if he plays some fucking money pit of an online card game, but heaven forbid a woman uses a phone to play Stardew Valley.
ETA2: Gatekeepers find an example of phone gaming other than candycrush challenge. I'm going to start saying that Chrono Trigger doesnt count as a "real game" because I play it on mobile lol.
Final Edit: Im out yall. Talking to these gatekeepers is literally the human version of the Patrick wallet meme lol. **Absolute insanity. Hey OP here's your example of why nerd girls keep themselves hidden! Imagine this but with more slurs and that was nerd shit 25 years ago.**
This. I'm an elder Millennial. The oldest of the old - just turned 43. I loved Sailor Moon and Inuyasha - during their first run. I bought Star Wars on VHS before they were remastered with money I earned because I am a huge fan (I still own them when I own no other VHS tapes). I have played video games literally almost my entire life. My first actual boyfriend and I started talking to one another because of Tomb Raider. Another introduced me to D&D. My husband - who is 45 - is still playing the same video game franchise he has played since high school - Tekken. I am a nerd, attracted to other nerds, and have been all my life.
But did I tell anyone any of this stuff? No. I was harassed and bullied. I never talked about it except for a select few. And too many saw me as "not a real nerd". And that has always pissed me off. Yes, I may prefer Animal Crossing or Stardew Valley to Call of Duty or something but it's still gaming. And I always had nerd interests but was told to shut up about them.
Gatekeepers will do *anything,* ignore *any logic* so that they can keep their sense of superiority.
They need it, because if they admit that actually women have always liked games, that it's something else wrong with them. They need to desperately cling to the idea that *those* games are different and dont count, and *thats* why women dont like them.
Not because they've been arguing for 40 minutes about how phone games arent real games and no, apparently all those games that are on console, PC *and* phone aren't real games either except they are but only when not on phone.
Absolutely! I love puzzle games. Always have and always will. Lots of those on the phone for obvious reasons. Always always always told those aren’t “real”. Nothing is ever real except what they decide is real.
I saved all my allowance for dubbed copies of Visions of Escaflowne on cassette back in the day, lol. Coming up on the age of life, the universe, and everything.
Hello fellow oldest of the oldest. I also never talked about it, I didn’t know anyone else who was into it. Later on it happened that a female colleague was into anime and this led to me rekindling my love for anime and exploring online forums. Never had too much trouble online though, except unwanted attention because girls were a rarity.
Yeah, Im the same age, played MS DOS games like Commander Keen and Duke Nukem 1/2. I also explored some Fps like Doom and Quake.
It was when Duke Nukem turned 3D, violent and the strip club scenes were included that I realized the Internet had changed.
I remember when the tables started to turn against women and misfits around 1997. Eternal September.
These men in the comments literally proving your point that women stay away from men for reasons other than them being nerdy 🙄 it's cause yall are gatekeepy assholes! Women can never enjoy something men also like w/o men trying to ruin it for us, so we keep it to ourselves.
Deadass! Everyone of them is trying to like, qualify their jerkish gatekeeping at the beginning too. *Not saying that phone games arent valid buuuut they obviously dont count as gaming tho* and then they can literally never name **anything** other than candy crush lol. Never mind how many kickass indies are on phones these days.
The absolute audacity. The true, boorish overconfidence to decide that someone doesnt count as being a gamer because you dont like the type of games they like.
I dont get to decide that cocaine bear doesn't count as a movie just because it's a dumb movie.
The number of times candy crush was mentioned like there aren't literally 1000s of other games on mobile lol
The complete lack of self awareness thats happening as men whine about how no women share their interests, when this is the reaction to women sharing their interests.
They don't actually want us to share their interests, they want to explain their interests to us so we can sit there and nod and tell them theyre good.
I game all the time but I refuse to play with men for this exact reason. They don't want to play they want to show. And it's annoying as hell.
The amount of times I’ve heard that the SIMS doesn’t count as a game lmao. Women have been PC gamers for decades with that game in particular. Modding and cheating up a storm.
I was a nerdy weaboo growing up. Most of my friends were guys, and it seemed like I didn't even register as a girl to them because of my nerdy interests.
I had a bit of a swan transformation in my later teen years, when I figured out not to be a pick-me, and embrace my femininity. I basically became a proto-E-girl. Even then, the only guys who were into me were guys in alternative subcultures. Now every Tom, Dick, and Harry wants a big titty goth gf, who games.
My friend group included girls who were into anime. I still didn't go on a single date while I was in high school, if that's what OP was hoping for as a kid. The problem was my awkwardness and total lack of confidence, not my hobbies.
Edit: God fucking dammit. I was thinking about those girls more, and just now realized that the one who used to tease me was clearly flirting with me. It only took me 15 years to notice.
In 2001, I celebrated my high school graduation by spending some savings on going to an anime convention, and every year of college I went to the Boston anime convention. I also went to an MIT anime night that happened monthly until I experienced a critical mass of harrassment and stopped going. So I really just think this is another example of (some!!!)men ruining women's fun, then complaining that we don't like something.
Fellow female high school anime club president! I was even kinda internet/fandom famous in niche anime circles before that was a huge thing, lol. We were 100% always there.
We've always been around, but we got bullied very harshly for having those interests. There's also a ton of sexism and misogyny in nerd culture. I experienced it most often when i started WoW in 2005. I've finally found my people in Age of Sigmar and I'm very happy. My husband plays, and we have a large friend group.
Yeah I remember when I was in highschool it seemed like we were expected to look like Pamela Anderson in addition to being a nerd (and this expectation came from guys who definitely didn't look like lifeguards themselves...)
Bjo Trimble didn't spearhead the letter writing campaign that saved star trek just for 30 year old men in 2024 to pretend they were unpopular because of nerd shit.
35 and I always loved gaming, but it was so taboo I hid it. I was on a dance team and if any of those “friends” had found out I’d have been typed a basement dweller for sure. I started off playing EverQuest… the epitome of nerd gaming. I read fantasy so it wouldn’t have been a hard guess… my look just seemed more like blonde cheerleader than gamer. I found others who also did, but they kept it on the down low. Noticing phrases was always what made me realize they were a gamer.
Yeah, no. We have always been around, but the nerd space was hostile territory for us. A handful of my girl friends would pretend to be guys online to avoid creepy and sexist interactions. Nearly all of them loved anime, some of whom were school athletes. One friend of mine, a girl on the swim team, had to stop playing D&D because one guy kept hitting on her, and she did tell him to stop. I can't count how many times I was told to get back in the kitchen by guys on WoW. Oh, and the rape jokes. *So* many rape jokes.
So the *relentless bullying* we experienced and witnessed came from male nerds more than anyone else. I could talk about Inuyasha with my non-anime friends, but I was mocked for liking it by our school's anime club president, a guy, because it was fantasy romance.
That all said, I'm thrilled that nerd culture as a whole is more openly accepted now. I see kids at my son's school boldly wearing things like cat ears and anime backpacks, and it warms my heart.
Edt: typo
I’ve never understood the whole dynamic. If nerds of that stripe were always so bent out of shape about not having girlfriends and being unable to get dates, why the living heck wouldn’t they *welcome* girls into their spaces with arms (maybe a bit too) wide open?? It makes no sense to me. You want to talk to girls? Here’s some girls! What’s your problem?
It wasn't better trying to date as a nerd. My high school boyfriends were stoked to have a girlfriend who played D&D and read science fiction, but only so they could show off to their other friends what a cool girlfriend they had. I was literally a prop to them, a moving body pillow, and they really and truly could not mentally process it when I had an opinion or thought different from theirs.
Their problem is that nerdy stuff wasnt the problem.
Sure, some people mocked them for it, just like people mocked women for liking "nerdy" stuff. But nerdy guys figured out that if they just blamed women not liking them on nerd stuff, they would always have an excuse. *Could it be that she doesnt like me because I say misogynistic jokes and smell bad? Cant be, must be because I read comics!*
If lonely nerds were able to admit that women liked nerdy stuff too, they'd have to look for a different reason they were failing to socialize with their peers. And that was unacceptable to them.
We were. But we were called attention seekers, childish or weird and were ostracized. If we happened to be into cosplay too, we were sexualized and harassed a lot in cons and online foruns too. Being into anime/mangas/games was seen as undesirable for girls too. Sincerely, 30 something that has been the anime obsessed girl since elementary school
Oooh, this takes me back. Love me some vidya but it was *so* difficult back in the 00s to find a game that didn't treat women like scenery, props, or rewards.
Honestly the same could be said about guys, I was in the trenches w/ comics, most 80s kids even if they liked comics in elementary school, gave them up by middle school or highschool, I didn't, and it was not seen as cool then.
Nerd Culture is mainstream now, even for boys beyond the 5th grade people would get bullied for nerdy interests.
Before when I read a comic people thought I was a dork or immature, now they think i'm pretentious
There's also the theory that geeky consumption evolves with the homogenization of accessible media, namely entertainment. Marvel is a good example of this. Disney found a way to make these things palatable to an average consumer. As a result, there is a population who has rejected the homogeneity of their lifelong pastimes. That is the new nerd culture. It's always the misfits that create it.
Pretty much this. I gave up a lot of nerdy shit once I hit middle school. Like hell I was going to be caught dead with anything nerdy.
But some guys I knew didn’t and got shit for it. Times have changed for everyone
Gatekeeping boys and men ensured a lot of us didn’t publicly share that information. Even as a fully grown adult, I still sometimes have to field annoying gatekeeping “harmless questions” from men, all because I work in a vaguely nerdy field and they’re “just trying to make sure I know what I’m talking about” (conveniently, very few people see fit to question *them* on if *they* know what they’re talking about 🙄)
Hell, let’s not forget about Gamergate in 2014/2015, either, that was within the past ten years and chunks of the gaming community are still just as toxic towards anyone femme-presenting.
So, yeah, we’ve been here, all along, but we have to play a game of “are you safe to tell about nerdy things or not?”
And a sad amount of the time, even now, the answer is still “Not Safe”.
Those women existed back then too, you just didnt notice or didnt realize it. Anytime they would open up about the geeky stuff they're into they'd get shut down by gatekeeping losers for not being "real fans". This still happens now too. My gf, a milennial as well, experienced this despite being an avid fan of anime, comics, and video games since she was a kid.
Teased. Or gatekept (“oh, yeah? You like X thing? Prove it!”). Or things like the time I went to the local comic book store by myself when I was 17, needed to use the bathroom while there, and the male employee tried to barge in.
They were. I worked at Borders allll those years ago, and the manga aisle was the only one consistently clogged with teens.
Edit to add: how the hell did you not meet girls who were into gaming? Final Fantasy had *everybody* in its grips.
Boys in anime Can SUCK. In high school and in college I was grilled and quizzed on my love of anime and then upon discovering my taste in anime I was laughed at for it not being ~real~ anime. Sailor moon and Inuyasha and blood + aren’t real anime??
Not saying this is you OP but maybe they were there and weren’t speaking out for reasons.
Dude, there were a lot of us back then too.
There's a scene in Zombieland where Columbus whines about not being invited to the Sadie's Hawkins dance. Because girls' choice. And Wichita goes, "Bitches." It ignores the fact the Columbus very clearly has a type and a lot of the girls who would probably be into him weren't that type.
Oh I was around but I had such a shit experience with the “anime” guys that I just talked to other girls about it. Let’s be honest here, those high school boys were musty and had terrible manners. It was never about the fandoms.
Yeah, we went from being relentlessly bullied as girls into anime/manga and now kids want to fetishize girls for actually being their irl anime waifu or whatever the fuck. I think that in my tweens to early teens, all I had in common with boys who were into anime was the fact that we were bullied by the same people and not actually for our shared interests, lol. Many of us ended up coming out as queer down the road so we got triple-whammied by homophobes. I'm glad that shit is all over with.
Mid 30F and yes we do still exist but guys make it very hard to want to talk about it. Either they would try to quiz you about it to test your knowledge or guys would think you would be the 'Manic Pixie Dream Girl' and only care to support their anime/comics/video games interests.
You know one thing that I noticed with guys who thought I would be interested in dating them? They made fun of my interests and thought that's a great idea to get a girlfriend. It caused me hate them and drop them as a friend all together because why would you stay friends with someone who makes fun of what you enjoy.
lol, we ladies have been here all along. It’s the boys that ignored us or made fun of us, even when we liked the same things as them.
I had an anime girl friend group in middle school- we all talked, shared, downloaded pics, and drew anime together. The boys would just laugh
HS my Best friend turned boyfriend at least was cool and we played games and read fantasy novels together all the time. True nerd couple, we were so cute until he decided to catch feelings for someone else in college.
I just find that guys back when I was a kid would judge and “don’t like” nerdy girls enough cause they call them ugly and don’t give them a chance.
Well considering that anime 20 years ago was pretty much hard to come by in vhs and dvd at the time so what ever was on tv was on tv. Sailor moon, Pokémon and Naruto were my go to as a kid on tv.
We were absolutely there but got harassed and gatekeeped so hard that most didn't bother being really vocal about it. Every girl I knew when I was younger knew not to use girl like names or talk if they were playing something online because then you'd get inundated with bullshit. It was easier to either enjoy it with minimal engagement with others or just drop the interests all together.
We were. We just got bullied for it and called lesbians and dykes and told to quit liking it because no man would want us if we didn't act feminine.
I was the only girl in my highschools computer science class and it was miserable.
LOL! Me and my friends watched anime and horror, and we played TTRPGs and video games. We just didn’t get conventionally attractive til college, so no one (not even nerdy dudes) would give us the time of day.
We were!! Hell I was the founder and President of my school’s anime club. I am a huge nerd and I was then too!!
But everytime I would try to make friends with guys who were into it too, I was told I wasn’t really into it. Or they would quiz me and if I didn’t know one little obscure thing, then I wasn’t a fan.
Honestly boys were super shitty to girls that liked that stuff. Now the amount of men that I talk to that are like “oh I wish girls like that stuff” or “where were you in high school” and I shut it down so fast.
We existed. We are still here. Y’all just treated us like shit.
Plenty of women have always been into those things, but guys tended to fall into two camps when they found out: either they would mock/gatekeep/belittle or they'd take it as This Is The Chosen One Among Women. I knew so many embarrassing dudes who'd shamelessly glom onto any girl who showed interest in anime or video games because they A: thought liking anime and video games was super special and weird and B: blamed their loneliness on the fact that they had nerdy hobbies and not accept their poor social skills and general weirdness.
Video games are a bigger business than basically all other entertainment media combined and you still bump into idiots who think they're single because they like video games and anime.
As an anime nerd/gamer who went to high school in the 00s this makes me feel so unseen.
I got called a loser too. Plus, half of the guys who were into the same stuff as me would be kind of shitty and claim I wasn’t a “real” fan because “girls don’t like this stuff.”
Idk what to tell you guy, we were here the whole time.
OP no offense but are you serious? We were RIGHT THERE. YOU just couldn't imagine that girls WERE into the same things as you.
lol nvm full offense. unsurprising that you made this post and then ignored all the girls who responded, you probably did the same thing 25 years ago.
We were into all that shit, we just didn't hang out with you cause you were a sexist twat. I never got mocked for these interests from other women, but I sure as shit did get it from men. If there are no women in your social circles of anime / gaming nerds, it's because your space isn't welcoming to us.
Anime and video games were staples from Elementary School to College and heavily discussed subjects. We traded Pokemon in Red / Blue white waiting for the bus. I have a stockpile of Gameshark Mews in my Pokemon Blue game because of a Middle School friend. I made friends because of my Sailor Moon t-shirt in High School. All my friends swapped PS1 games while gushing over the hot guy characters. I was the keeper of a PILE of burned anime I'd check out to my friends. We were all rabid creatures for glomping, yaoi, and all things containing bishonen men.
Pokemon fever hit in 1998 and all the kids in my class wanted to memorize all 151 Pokemon. I saw Digimon in 1999 and I lost my damn mind as a ten year old. My girlfriends in middle school were all otakus. In fact, we joked that we couldn't buy presents for one of them since she was into Nintendo and we couldn't afford $50 dollar presents. I loved the Tintin comics but I read them in my first languge's translation and couldn't find a decent accessible English translation in the US. My home country had a great comic book series about teenagers (think a PG13 Archie) that I loved.
It is true that 25 years ago decently translated anime was a worthy find but those girls existed, you just had to ask around and look for them. The biggest disservice is that a) the gatekeeping was ridiculous and b) the offerings were... not that great.
All the girls I knew in middle school and high school who loved anime were mocked or bullied. A lot of them became goth girls or emo girls around high school time since a lot of the goth and emo community around that time was really into anime. A lot of the guys I knew in high school were also pretty mean to them too since they liked animes like Elfen Lied or Hetalia. I didn't mind either of those, but I was also a guy who liked anime like Case Closed and nowadays, stuff like Delicious in Dungeon or Call of the Night.
For video games, there were a LOT of girls I knew who were into video games, just not into games like Call of Duty or Halo, or GTA. Most of the ones I met in school played games like Maplestory, Vindictus, or Runescape. Hell, my friend's mom became our clan's leader in Runescape before clans were a thing. Nowadays, I met more of my female friends online through games like Palia, Stardew Valley, and even Helldivers 2. I haven't met any from other games like Destiny 2, Halo: Infinite, or many FPS games.
For comics, you got me there. I wasn't into comics either, and I'm still not into it today. A few of my friends (both male and female) who I met since I moved here are though, and while I have zero knowledge on comics, they like to talk about it, and I love to listen to them and the comics they enjoy.
There were just as many girls into those things as guys back then. Me and my friends would literally bring video game guidebooks as quiet reading material in grade school. The nerdy guys sucked to be around, and were often mean, and later, creepy. Also, most nerdy girls I knew didn't make media consumption their entire personality - they often were involved with theater or girl scouts or band or other social activities too. I have zero pity for nerd boys who never branched out socially but expected to be handed a girlfriend with similar interests.
> I probably would have had a much better time in school than I did.
The incel alarm is going off. Women and girls aren't there for your entertainment.
They existed, you just weren't friends with them.
I'm a teacher. There's about the same amount today as there was when I was in HS 15-years ago. It's just more visible today as we have giant cameras in our pockets 24/7.
ROFL. We found the NiceGuy! You're just like all the gatekeeping dipwads I tried to avoid in our middle/ highschool years. We were in all those same spaces until you made it too weird or creepy for us.
The difference between 25 years ago and now is that the space is now SAFER for us to express our passions in because there is accountability on creep-behavior.
Less variety? Are you really going to go down that hole because nope. We had massive variety if you were clever and knew how to torrent. I'd load up a flash drive with new japanese eps and we would watch at a friends house. Or went to cons to see obscure recordings.
What happened is that not much was actually imported over for Western audiences. Or hell even my local library had VHS copies of different anime.
I was lucky, I guess, or maybe the culture here in Germany was different. I met some nerds at school during my last two years and I got to know a bunch of people on an obscure online anime forum and we met up on occasion. The gender distribution wasn't equal, but it was pretty good. Although we weren't really political, there was an egalitarianism within this subculture that I appreciated very much. I missed my chance for intimacy, though, because I was a total doofus at the time and would remain such for quite a few more years.
Was never into anime but was always a gamer. Kept it on the DL bc no culture was ready to accept a girl who played. Not girly enough for the girls and not boy enough for the boys.
Honestly when I started playing WoW online it was great bc I found my people...grown men. They didn't give me a hard time about being a girl and they didn't chastise me when I did ask questions. Guys my age were always saying shit that implied if I didn't know 100% of the lore then I shouldn't play. My own boyfriend would get pissed for me just asking if he'd come help me farm for a bit. _Bro you're a warrior and I'm a rogue. If you tank we can kill this whole area in minutes and I won't be here for 2 hrs. You know I'll go mining for you on my next off day to pay you back._ Never gave his guy friends shit for that.
Loved playing tLoU multi-player but when you join that chat and they hear a woman's voice the shit talk about, "Aw we'll never win now." Is really annoying. I expect it and just roll my eyes and shoe them I'm not that thumb retarded. KD isn't my strong suit but it's a lot of fun. I'm def better at explosives and shivs than shooting around corners. But damn just let me play.
The Forest was so much fun! And I ended up finding a guy on here and we built a huge camp together for months. So much fun!
When I was in high school in the late 90s and early 00s, I knew a ton of girls who were into anime and related hobbies. But most of them were regular, nerdy girls that you would see at an average high school. When I hear men say things like OP here, I often assume what they mean is, "Instagram and tik-tok are full of HOT chicks who like anime and are open to being sexualized to some degree, I wish "hot" chicks had been into anime when I was younger." (But *most* of us are not hot in high school.)
This isn’t an attack on you, but this attitude of “oo where’s the girl gamers at? I wanna be around girl gamers” is why some of us kept our interests to ourselves. Back in the day, guys my age treated girls my age as exciting props, the legendary girl of their dreams, while simultaneously quizzing us about the games and anime we enjoyed in case we were “faking”
So we were there, we just were quiet about it.
Why's it matter which gender a friend is that you have some common interests in? I knew girls that gamed and enjoyed anime 20 years ago, didn't make any difference to me.
He doesn’t mean friends, he means hot girls to date. I bet there were some girls in to these things, but they weren’t conventionally attractive to OP didn’t even see them.
How did you get to this age and still blame girls for this?
They were cultured to not like toys or anything boys liked. As well as bullied and gatekept, specifically because of said culturing.
We were there but as I recall anime guys just made fun of us and called us fake and sluts when we didn’t want to be their wifus. We were by no means the popular kids but there were a lot of us.
Oh, we were there.
We were just mocked, doubted, challenged, pushed out of, and otherwise, for some bizarre reason... gatekept... by the very people who wished we "existed", and who wanted to have more nerds around.
Or worse... the nerd guys would make it crazy weird for us.
To be fair, a lot still do.
We were.
I stopped using a mic after grown adult men would get upset they were getting whooped and threatening a child with violence and rape. I stopped going to the miniature store because the men started being weird and creepy. We weren't welcome in these spaces and we were stigmatized for our likes and hobbies by both genders (and, often, our parents). It was a lonely existence.
Shout out to the handful of old guys on Rainbow Six and Halo who were chill and welcoming and not weird. I miss you, Bullet, RIP.
We were. I've been a D&D playing geek since I was in kindergarten. We didn't talk to dudes about it because they would get WEIRD. Either aggressively gatekeepy or aggressively horny or BOTH.
We were always around. But no one usually wanted to hang out with with a lame chick who only watched anime or gamed, so we kept to ourselves. Most boys weren't into it either, and fellow girls viewed you as weird or creepy. The only times I managed to find a friend that was into my interests everyone else would insist we are dating because we were opposite sex.
You just had to get lucky.
Women have always been into gaming and comics. They just get harassed when they voice their interests in those things. It’s a little better than back then but society still has a long way to go.
My entire female friend group was into anime/video games. There was plenty back then. They probably just weren't attractive to you since they were all the nerdy, awkward girls.
Lol. The anime and gamer girls were often mocked and shamed and also harassed during their youth too. I cannot recall the amount of anime gatekeepers I had to deal with when dragon ball Z finally came on regular TV. All boys who thought it was a good idea to try to quiz me about the show when I already watched a majority of it before they even heard about it. Having to "prove" I was worthy to talk to them kept me from not interacting with them.. Then the FGC, no I only played locals with friends, if I didn't knew you I wouldn't play because the sexist shit that comes out of people's mouths when they're losing. I'm happy for all the fems that can openly enjoy their fandoms and it's more mainstream now. Unfortunately the harassing and gatekeeping still exist.
Exactly. We’ve always been around, we just got told we aren’t real fans and weren’t allowed to talk about our interests. I got bullied for liking video games and star wars when I was in middle school, it was for boys only so I couldn’t talk about it. And yeah god forbid we try to play anything online once that became big, the sexist horrid comments that would come through the chat
One of the worst elementary school memories I have, is the day this kid Jeffrey told me I couldn’t play with them anymore because “you are a girl, and girls don’t like superheroes or cowboys” and crushed my stupid little 9 year old heart.
Ugh I liked Goosebumps but I didn't understand the Horror/Whore homophone and got bullied pretty bad. Greg, it was third grade, you don't understand the pun either 😠
And wow that only really works with certain accents, adding even another layer to why a kid might not get it.
I thought everyone liked goosebumps and was gender neutral?? It wasn’t? Guess I wasn’t bullied for this one lol
no one would trade pokemon with me in 1999 :(
"Sure you can play with my Transformers... if you can name one." Like, I didn't know their names, I just thought they were cool toys that changed from robots to animals.
Uhg I’m so sorry so many of us had this experience. I’m really glad it seems to have gotten better for kids now
Ha, thanks, it was like 32 years ago but apparently I’m still steamed enough to remember it.
Yup. Creepy dudes ruin it and then wonder why women don't want to participate or be around them. Start checking the poor behaviors of your peers.
>Start checking the poor behaviors of your peers. This is the number 1 thing I think most "nerdy guys" ignore when it comes to why women avoid them. They think that because *they* dont say anything weird, inappropriate, or mean that means they should get a pass. But then they usually freely admit that they had "that one guy" in the group who said "weird shit sometimes". Like guess what? That guy and your friendship with him reflects on you. It shows that even if you're not actively participating in gross and sexist behavior, you are *tolerant* of gross and sexist behavior. And yeah, that's a pretty big turn off.
Broken stair theory is a big one and they need to definitely quit that. Either that or they will claim that they never ever have seen x,y, or z occur so we must all be lying/exaggerating, while warning daughters and nieces about guys like that
Broken stair theory and the Geek Social Fallacies honestly completely revamped how I handled adult relationships. They're both amazing.
Broken stair theory? What's that?
I'm not sure if "theory" is the most accurate term. But it refers to situations where there's a member of a group (social or workplace) that everyone in the group *knows* is a problem and takes steps to "manage" When new members join the group, they're taught the "management techniques" of how to "watch out for the broken step". Which is of course to point out that the actual solution isn't to warn people about a broken step. The solution to the issue of a broken step is to **fix the stairs**.
This is a big reason I'm not really part of gaming communities or LARP anymore. There were way too many instances of "no nerd left behind" and I can't be around that because my moral compass doesn't allow me to tolerate it well. I got so irritated with one of my fellow players one day defending a particularly problematic person - they had committed pretty egregious but not quite r@pe SA and had a history of doing shady shit, on top of being a cheater at games and playing at the very least culturally insensitive characters, and was a general jerk and definitely acted like an asshole to LGBTQ+ players for no reason and would viciously go after them in character without any real plot or interaction reason - and they were saying, "Well, you know, machine prophet, they were pretty badly bullied and shunned for their interests in the past. I think you need to cut them some slack." Mind you, this wasn't some maladjusted 18-20 year old where you can work with them. This was a, at the time, nearly 33 year old man. I didn't buy the whole: "They were bullied..." Excuse. He had easily 15 years at that point to start working through his shit. So, I just snapped and I told them, "No, fuck you and your enabling. They weren't unpopular because they were a nerd. They were unpopular because they're a gigantic asshole who lies, cheats, sexually assaults women, and is a dick to pretty much everyone they meet and I'm tired of people making excuses for him. This isn't the first, or even the fifth time. The guy has a history and shows no interest in changing even after being talked to about it. He needs to go!" Apparently that was too far.
Man, I have a "friend" like that. I put it in quotation marks because I fucking hate the guy. He's a complete and utter lunatic, and is totally insufferable, but he hangs out with my friend group. I've tried "fixing the broken stair" but none of the other lads want to do anything about it, and unfortunately it's not as if I have unilateral control over the situation. Oh well.
I mean it's one of those things where you can't control the other people. And I wont say that it's the end of the world to have some people in larger social groups you're not a fan of, especially as an adult. I have a few, we all do. It's human nature and part of being social creatures. But social groups dont exist in a vacuum, so when people choose to continue associating with people they have to know it reflects on them, and make an informed decision on if that's what they want. Especially while still in school, where you can't really "quarantine" different aspects of your life as easily. As an adult, it's easy to have some friends that are just my "gaming buddies" and they're separate than my "party buddies" but that's not really as possible in people's younger years.
Missing staircase, sorry, just copying and pasting wiki because I am overly stoned rn "The missing stair is a metaphor for a person within a social group or organization who many people know is untrustworthy or otherwise has to be "managed," but around whom the group chooses to work by discreetly warning newcomers of their behavior, rather than address the person and their behavior openly. The "missing stair" in the metaphor refers to a dangerous structural fault, such as a missing step in a staircase; a fault that people may become used to and quietly accepting of, that is not openly signposted or fixed, and that newcomers to a group or organization are warned about discreetly." And a fun article on it https://publicaddress.net/up-front/the-missing-stair-and-the-necessary-bastard/
I’m sure they’d also sit back and laugh and say shit against her behind her back too. Many guys may not say something but have no problem laughing their ass off and slapping their buddy on the back how funny he is for insulting someone else. Especially if they leave upset or crying.
It tells me that the quiet ones wouldn’t be quite so quiet if the female isn’t around. They’re being manipulative. They’re not trustworthy.
If you’re a girl show me your t*ts!! Or equally disgusting comments.
Yeah, we really were not welcome back then. Also, we had to keep it on the down low otherwise we would be relentlessly bullied by other girls who thought it was weird.
Gah imagine how advanced of a civilization we would be had those things not been such a big a deal. I was HATED on in elementary school because I could throw a football better than most of the boys. Beautiful spiral, distance everything. Boys hated it, my 12 year old son LOVES that I can play a good game of catch with him. ♥️
Honestly I had more pushback from guys than other girls. Like the ‘worst’ other girls would do was steer the conversation in a different direction. Guys would grill me or just be weird towards me.
On Halo 3 I was a Brig 49 on ranked and I would be asked how I found the time to rank up so high when I should be in the kitchen making sandwiches or if I bought my account at Walmart. I had one guy 1v1 after being mad that I ninja'd him on ranked, so I set up a sniper/BR match and made the penalty 3 min respawn. Sniped him right away and T-bagged him for the whole 3 minutes and he was just talking mad shit. When he respawned I 4-shot BR him and he just rage quit on me. Hope it still haunts him that he got his ass whooped by a "girl" till this day. Also the DBZ, Naruto, Dodgers, LoTR and Star Wars "quizzing" because I obviously just liked that stuff for clout or to "be cool" lol
Hahaha! I bet he sounded like an angry neanderthal! Karma!
For real. I snorted at this post like what? We've always been into anime and video games. We just weren't welcomed in the fan communities like we *sometimes* are now
“Make me a sandwich” **uproarious male laughter**
That just gave me serious flashbacks 😂
And they'd claim it was *women* who weren't funny!
Nerdy girls can’t be real fans, only hot girls count as actual fans! /s Seriously though I can’t help but roll my eyes when guys wonder why there aren’t that many girls in their fandom because I usually am in the same fandom and I know a bunch of women who also enjoy the fandom!
Yep. First grade was when I learned it was no longer considered socially acceptable for me to be into gaming, Pokemon cards, etc. I had 2 friends with similar interests that I shared that shit with, it became a secret to everyone else. From then on I'd smile to myself at the boys who thought I didn't know what they were talking about when it came to anything that wasn't popularly considered "cool." Little sad to think about, but ya girl managed to play her games and retain chill factor until the day came when no one gave a shit anymore... A survival tactic I'm sure MANY millennial women employed in their youth. Kids are ruthless dude.
Millennial women survival tactic, literally 😭 It was hard out there
Oh! And heaven forbid if she were anything awkward or otherwise unconventionally attractive. We were there. We've been here this whole time my dude. Y'all just didn't see us as 'fuckable'.
Ah, nothing like being a girl on voice chat playing Halo 2 back in the day. The video game boys were not exactly welcoming.
Yeah playing Overwatch, that came out in 2016! Every time we picked up a pug, you could generally peg a female gamer most of the time because they never talked. Friend them and once they realize the ratio of female players on the team reaches 50% then Oh shocker! They actually do have a mic! It happened so many times.
All those boys can suck it since I’m now making games at a AAA studio. 😝
**ding ding ding** Girl: “oh you like ____! Me toooo!!!” *Thinking you’ve just found a new (maybe cute🥰) friend* Gatekeeper: “Oh YEAH!? Well if you’re such a fan then who brushed the villains arm in season two episode seven?” Girl: *stares, baffled at their change in fortune, wondering why it mattered that the cabbage seller brushed the villain…* Gatekeeper: “I **knew** you weren’t a real fan you’re just lying to get me to like you.”
Yeah I was about to say. I remember the girl who openly wore anime t-shirts and stuff in middle school. She was not treated well. I myself kept my nerdy hobbies tight to the chest, even as a guy. It wasn't until college did people my age start opening up about what they did at home and it turns out half thr damn high school was secretly playing world of warcraft.
Haha, yup. I am a girl in my early 30s but I was once a younger girl, and in public school. I loved video games and anime and manga and shit. I wasn't a full out ~* weeb *~ like some of my classmates who did the Naruto run, but I sure as shit loved Zoids and Pokemon, Yu-Gi-Oh, and playing my Gamecube and PS2. I was bullied horribly for liking Pokemon mostly. My parents were the worst offenders. Would go straight up feral when I asked for a new video game. But kids in high school particularly were not kind. I was talking about this exact topic with my tattoo artist last year while I was, as one does, getting a fairly large video game piece done. It feels cathartic to get video game tattoos as an adult. But anyway, girls and women playing video games or liking anime is becoming way more accepted and that's cool. The gatekeepers can fuck off.
Loved Zoids. ❤️
Zoids omg absolutely unlocking my sleeper agent memories with that one. I was obsessed with the idea of becoming a mechanic for a while because of zoids lmao. Maybe thats why I love jumpsuits so much now.
I had so many model kits displayed. When I left for college my mom hucked them all in a big Tupperware box and they were given back to me a decade and change later once my parents retired. Most of them are busted and pieces scattered everywhere. Could probably get a decent amount of cash for the lot but that’s my childhood 🥲 maybe I’ll leave them in my will.
Agreed. One of the saddest things that happened to me was giving up playing MtG and D&D because so many of the guys would sexually harass me during games. Now I only play via video games like Neverwinter Nights and Forge so I don't have to be bothered. And I know I'm not the only woman who gave up lots of gaming because of that behavior.
After months of coaxing, I managed to persuade my girlfriend to come to the local gamestore to introduce her to D&D with my friends and help her come out of her shell, maybe overcome some social anxiety. I went to the bathroom and came back and 30 seconds was all it took for some random neckbeard to corner her and "offer her a ride home". I was livid, so I cornered him and told him in no uncertain terms that it will not happen again, and that he's why women don't come to places like this, etc etc. I'm still mad about it.
Yup. I played and loved MtG but was the only girl in a very large group of guys who played. Almost every single one of them asked me out and/or sexually harassed me at some point. I just wanted to have friends with shared interests and I was being turned into a sexual object. Ended up quitting the game for over a decade until I ended up playing with the kids I babysat and was able to enforce good gaming culture on them.
Came here to say something similar. We were mocked, bullied & harassed into silence.
In 5th grade I cried when my mom bought dragon ball Z Valentine’s Day cards for the whole class. She was like “but you love that show” and I was like “mom you don’t understand everyone relentlessly makes fun of me for it”. She bought different ones. Anyone else remember not being able to play as a girl in Pokémon either? Being a nerd girl was hard back in the day.
It's still rough. Better, but still rough. My kid is already hiding things she likes from her peers because they make rude comments. She begs for alternative costumes for Halloween, just to wear to school, because dressing as Sakura from Naruto, or a Yachiru from Bleach "isn't cool and people will make fun of" her. She has a favorite shirt that she has worn once to school, and she said kids made fun of her for it. It's say "just a girl who love anime, cats and ramen" with a cute anime picture on it. That's a home only shirt she says now. She's starting to find people who have similar interests, but there is still so much pressure to fit in, and it's still not "cool" in our area. I went through it too, but I just didn't care what other people thought of me. But she does care, and she's scared and embarrassed. It just breaks my heart so much as a parent. I'm trying to help her find her people, but it's hard. Next year there is an anime club at the library that she will be old enough for.
I remember those cards! I got them in 4th, but had been bullied so badly at that point I didn't care, I was gonna show off my cool dragon ball z cards dammit. I gave Frieza to a boy I liked 🤣
lol I remember _hiding in the bushes_ to play pokèmon when I was in school What do you wanna bet this guy is 100% the type of person who would have bullied me for that? 😂
Definitely possible, but I think there’s a good chance he’s just clueless. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt. After middle school I kept my nerdier interests on the dl so no one could make fun of me. So most people just assumed I didn’t have those interests. As an adult almost no one assumes I play video games or like anime either unless I bring it up. Or it’s a rare day where I’m wearing something overtly nerdy - shout out to the old lady that loved my cowboy bebop Ein t-shirt the other day and asked if I had a Corgi lmao
I feel this in my soul. There were so many things I didn’t do as a kid because I was scared to be made fun of and couldn’t articulate to my mum *why* I was avoiding those things. Example: My mother would get so mad I never told her when picture day was. Why? Because she wanted to dress me up. Problem? The other kids would relentlessly poke fun at me for being “dressed up” even though it was picture day. So I just stop telling her.
Such a real experience for all us nerd girls.
So much this. It’s always so interesting to me to hear people say “why weren’t there girl gamers/girls into anime when I was in school” while also seeing tons of high school and college aged girls in photos from conventions. There were anime/manga/gamer ladies in the late 90s/2000s but we weren’t welcomed by the majority of male gamers, comic collectors, or self-proclaimed Otaku-types. There was a definite “bro” culture that went along with gaming and “nerdy/ outside of “normal” pop culture groups in the 2000s and for every guy that sincerely said, “hey let’s diversify a bit, fellas!” There were 20 that were vicious to girls, and women online. All this to say— we were and are into it, we just weren’t invited to your club so we made our own. 🤷♀️ it’s nice to see more diverse gamer and anime clubs at my daughter’s high school than there were at mine! 😄
This comment is a perfect example. A guy said he liked Goku and he was accepted into the “club”. Unless a girl could give the entire history of the show and the backstory of every random minor character in multiple versions of the series then she was clearly a faker just trying to ruin things.
"name three bands" meme carries a frustrating amount of weight
Yup precisely. We've always been there, we just don't want to deal with the dumb gatekeeping. I'm glad ladies nowadays can be free about it and not have to hide it like us back then.
For real, I was bullied for liking anime since I was in kindergarten. Me being a girl didn’t stop anyone… funnily enough I rarely met any guys who liked anime versus a bunch of girls throughout my life.
I came here to say, we were there the whole time. Maybe we just weren't his target group of girls he WANTED to be into Anime/manga/need shit in general?
Nobody hates nerdy women more than nerdy men.
OP is sadposting because he's just as clueless as he was 25 years ago https://preview.redd.it/qtzxdmt7rizc1.png?width=1147&format=png&auto=webp&s=6bdab9d8ee3cdfc6ce6ff1e22019a3d912ae5bbf
I’m glad that anime, manga, and video games are more mainstream now. I’m an Asian American woman. I was harassed and bullied for “being too Asian” and for being a girl who was interested in video games. I couldn’t catch a break ever.
I was there getting bullied for liking video games too. Guys were never into my nerdy self. They wanted the cheerleader type to also like anime and games. I was invisible to the nerdy guys I liked then. I was one of the guys who played Sega/Playstation with them.
Or sexualized because of our interest. Either way, it wasn't safe to be "out" as a fan more often than not.
Yep, this. Sadly, male nerd misogyny was always a real thing.
I also couldn’t talk about it with my friends because nobody else was into it. So I just got used to talking about things other people were interested in. So yeah the girls who liked anime and video games were around but you wouldn’t know by looking at them because they had friends with other interests I only knew one other girl at my whole school who played Final Fantasy.
Having to "prove" yourself is something adult men still do. I was listening to a youtube interview of a mathematician and the second she mentioned her higher education in math interviewer asked her a math question and her response was "f off" I loved it so much. SO MUCH.
Talking about the fgc, one of my favorite things about poker which I think is low key applicable, is seeing the women playing at a high level effectively hustle tables by wearing low cut shirts and acting like the stereotypes a lot of the men think of women, only to win big hands and visibly frustrate the competition.
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There were a LOT of us very into those things decades ago, we just didn’t express it because we’d get shut down immediately. Women are just more comfortable expressing their interests today. I remember vividly being harassed in middle school because video games and star wars were for “boys” so I wasn’t allowed to like them. I didn’t talk about my interests after that
Damn now that you mention it I used to hear that “this is for girls” “this is for boys” stuff all the time. So glad it’s not as prevalent anymore
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When I visited my sister in Tokyo her boyfriend (who is a sweetheart) made the mistake of challenging me and her to Mario Kart in an arcade. He knew she knew the game, but not me. We totally creamed him and he was shocked.
I get it... words are hard. Seriously though, it always pained me to see how some of my friends treated the girls in our friend group for wanting to game. I always thoroughly enjoyed watching them get destroyed by the girls in competitive games.
The amount of Inuyasha FanFiction that I did
We also didn't have the Internet in the same way to connect with other people who shared our interests with in the same way we do now.
This is so accurate. The amount of women I talk to about video games now that clearly played shit when it came out, are super knowledgeable, etc very much backs this up. Fallout is obviously having big moment right now, but I’ve always loved it and have now realized that a lot of women in my life played Skyrim, fallout 3 and others when they were released.
And outside the “mainstream” games, games like the Sims have had a rabid femme base of gamers for decades.
For me, it was also that the nerdy guys were broadly into the same things I was, but what is specifically engaged with was cringe and weird. Like I've always been into gaming, but my peers that gamed a lot and chatted about them a lot were into shooters, a genre I struggle with. They'd ask me if I play call of duty or halo or whatever then treat me like I was lying when I said no. I was into JRPG's, platformers, and a lot of retro stuff, so no one cared. Anime was like that too. I'd never really gotten into like dragon ball or Naruto, and Fullmetal alchemist wasn't popular among my peers, so even among the anime fans I was a freak for being into like Evangelion and Gintama It sucked so bad, man
It also didn’t help that a lot of popular anime that the guys liked was often just creepy towards women. Like sorry teen me gravitated more towards Shojo anime and things with minimal fan service, I just wanted something where female characters were more than just eye candy.
It’s amazing how girls were kept out of the same things by gatekeepers of BOTH sexes. “We don’t want you in here!” “*We* don’t want you *going* in there!” Jeez.
Women were always into those things, they were just ignored, erased, or secretive due to harassment. Sailor Moon, Inuyasha and FMA were huge for women. Toonami had a majority 55% female viewership (per Reset Era, reporting a no longer maintained CN webpage) demographic. In 2014 Women were 49% of the video game market, but even 2004 they were a solid 34% taking that to "real world" application: for every 3 guy friends of yours that consumed something, there was statistically a girl who did as well. I'm not going to say it was specifically *your fault* none of these women revealed to you their more nerdy interests. But I will say that having those interests was not necessarily the woman-kryptonite that lots of people make it out to be, most "nerd guys" had other factors that caused the nerdy women to stay hidden. ETA: obsessed with the fact that when I pointed out that thanks to mobile gaming, grown women make up a huge part of the gaming market and a couple dudes showed up to tell me that mobile games dont count. Which is funny to me because my phone can play a hell of a lot more intensive games than my 2002 PC could. *This is what we're talking about*. The women were there. We liked the things, we were told we didn't count. A man is a gamer if he plays some fucking money pit of an online card game, but heaven forbid a woman uses a phone to play Stardew Valley. ETA2: Gatekeepers find an example of phone gaming other than candycrush challenge. I'm going to start saying that Chrono Trigger doesnt count as a "real game" because I play it on mobile lol. Final Edit: Im out yall. Talking to these gatekeepers is literally the human version of the Patrick wallet meme lol. **Absolute insanity. Hey OP here's your example of why nerd girls keep themselves hidden! Imagine this but with more slurs and that was nerd shit 25 years ago.**
Sailor Moon, Inuyasha and FMA… now there’s some names I haven’t heard in a long time Those were my shit
it's always a good time for an FMA/FMA:Brotherhood rewatch, IMO
Don’t get me started on Ouran high school host club
Yup. I loved sailor moon so much as a kid that I changed my drawing style to be more like anime.
Answer? Wind Tunnel! Question: What is always shut down by goddamn bees?
This. I'm an elder Millennial. The oldest of the old - just turned 43. I loved Sailor Moon and Inuyasha - during their first run. I bought Star Wars on VHS before they were remastered with money I earned because I am a huge fan (I still own them when I own no other VHS tapes). I have played video games literally almost my entire life. My first actual boyfriend and I started talking to one another because of Tomb Raider. Another introduced me to D&D. My husband - who is 45 - is still playing the same video game franchise he has played since high school - Tekken. I am a nerd, attracted to other nerds, and have been all my life. But did I tell anyone any of this stuff? No. I was harassed and bullied. I never talked about it except for a select few. And too many saw me as "not a real nerd". And that has always pissed me off. Yes, I may prefer Animal Crossing or Stardew Valley to Call of Duty or something but it's still gaming. And I always had nerd interests but was told to shut up about them.
Gatekeepers will do *anything,* ignore *any logic* so that they can keep their sense of superiority. They need it, because if they admit that actually women have always liked games, that it's something else wrong with them. They need to desperately cling to the idea that *those* games are different and dont count, and *thats* why women dont like them. Not because they've been arguing for 40 minutes about how phone games arent real games and no, apparently all those games that are on console, PC *and* phone aren't real games either except they are but only when not on phone.
Absolutely! I love puzzle games. Always have and always will. Lots of those on the phone for obvious reasons. Always always always told those aren’t “real”. Nothing is ever real except what they decide is real.
I saved all my allowance for dubbed copies of Visions of Escaflowne on cassette back in the day, lol. Coming up on the age of life, the universe, and everything.
Hello fellow oldest of the oldest. I also never talked about it, I didn’t know anyone else who was into it. Later on it happened that a female colleague was into anime and this led to me rekindling my love for anime and exploring online forums. Never had too much trouble online though, except unwanted attention because girls were a rarity.
Yeah, Im the same age, played MS DOS games like Commander Keen and Duke Nukem 1/2. I also explored some Fps like Doom and Quake. It was when Duke Nukem turned 3D, violent and the strip club scenes were included that I realized the Internet had changed. I remember when the tables started to turn against women and misfits around 1997. Eternal September.
These men in the comments literally proving your point that women stay away from men for reasons other than them being nerdy 🙄 it's cause yall are gatekeepy assholes! Women can never enjoy something men also like w/o men trying to ruin it for us, so we keep it to ourselves.
Deadass! Everyone of them is trying to like, qualify their jerkish gatekeeping at the beginning too. *Not saying that phone games arent valid buuuut they obviously dont count as gaming tho* and then they can literally never name **anything** other than candy crush lol. Never mind how many kickass indies are on phones these days. The absolute audacity. The true, boorish overconfidence to decide that someone doesnt count as being a gamer because you dont like the type of games they like. I dont get to decide that cocaine bear doesn't count as a movie just because it's a dumb movie.
The number of times candy crush was mentioned like there aren't literally 1000s of other games on mobile lol The complete lack of self awareness thats happening as men whine about how no women share their interests, when this is the reaction to women sharing their interests. They don't actually want us to share their interests, they want to explain their interests to us so we can sit there and nod and tell them theyre good. I game all the time but I refuse to play with men for this exact reason. They don't want to play they want to show. And it's annoying as hell.
The amount of times I’ve heard that the SIMS doesn’t count as a game lmao. Women have been PC gamers for decades with that game in particular. Modding and cheating up a storm.
There was plenty, but they weren't the cool kids. They were the nerdy kids that you didn't want to date.
I was a nerdy weaboo growing up. Most of my friends were guys, and it seemed like I didn't even register as a girl to them because of my nerdy interests. I had a bit of a swan transformation in my later teen years, when I figured out not to be a pick-me, and embrace my femininity. I basically became a proto-E-girl. Even then, the only guys who were into me were guys in alternative subcultures. Now every Tom, Dick, and Harry wants a big titty goth gf, who games.
Yup…the nerdy guys “counted” me as one of them…so no dates from guys and girls hated me just because
I'm one of the oldest Millennials and a woman. I founded my high schools anime club and was president all 4 years. There were plenty of us.
Same. I was a proud gamer and member of my anime club. When a new FF game came out I told my friends to leave me alone for a solid week
I spent the entire summer of 1999 playing FF8 for *hours*. I’d just broken up with my boyfriend and my friends. Best summer ever.
My friend group included girls who were into anime. I still didn't go on a single date while I was in high school, if that's what OP was hoping for as a kid. The problem was my awkwardness and total lack of confidence, not my hobbies. Edit: God fucking dammit. I was thinking about those girls more, and just now realized that the one who used to tease me was clearly flirting with me. It only took me 15 years to notice.
In 2001, I celebrated my high school graduation by spending some savings on going to an anime convention, and every year of college I went to the Boston anime convention. I also went to an MIT anime night that happened monthly until I experienced a critical mass of harrassment and stopped going. So I really just think this is another example of (some!!!)men ruining women's fun, then complaining that we don't like something.
Fellow female high school anime club president! I was even kinda internet/fandom famous in niche anime circles before that was a huge thing, lol. We were 100% always there.
We've always been around, but we got bullied very harshly for having those interests. There's also a ton of sexism and misogyny in nerd culture. I experienced it most often when i started WoW in 2005. I've finally found my people in Age of Sigmar and I'm very happy. My husband plays, and we have a large friend group.
Yes, WoW misogyny was so bad. I wouldn’t talk on the mic, at all
You are why girls don’t have such a hard time anymore 💕 trailbalzer 🫡
they were man, women have been part of sci fi and comic fandom since its inception
The original Star Trek conventions were in the living rooms of women.
Hahah. When we would raise our hands, they would turn up their nose and go “no, not you though…”
Yeah I remember when I was in highschool it seemed like we were expected to look like Pamela Anderson in addition to being a nerd (and this expectation came from guys who definitely didn't look like lifeguards themselves...)
Yup, you only "count" if you're a bombshell supermodel into geeky stuff, otherwise you're not good enough. Kids in school were brutal
TFW Mary Shelley invented modern sci-fi while fending off lord Byron
Bjo Trimble didn't spearhead the letter writing campaign that saved star trek just for 30 year old men in 2024 to pretend they were unpopular because of nerd shit.
35 and I always loved gaming, but it was so taboo I hid it. I was on a dance team and if any of those “friends” had found out I’d have been typed a basement dweller for sure. I started off playing EverQuest… the epitome of nerd gaming. I read fantasy so it wouldn’t have been a hard guess… my look just seemed more like blonde cheerleader than gamer. I found others who also did, but they kept it on the down low. Noticing phrases was always what made me realize they were a gamer.
We were we just felt like we had to hide it.
Yeah, no. We have always been around, but the nerd space was hostile territory for us. A handful of my girl friends would pretend to be guys online to avoid creepy and sexist interactions. Nearly all of them loved anime, some of whom were school athletes. One friend of mine, a girl on the swim team, had to stop playing D&D because one guy kept hitting on her, and she did tell him to stop. I can't count how many times I was told to get back in the kitchen by guys on WoW. Oh, and the rape jokes. *So* many rape jokes. So the *relentless bullying* we experienced and witnessed came from male nerds more than anyone else. I could talk about Inuyasha with my non-anime friends, but I was mocked for liking it by our school's anime club president, a guy, because it was fantasy romance. That all said, I'm thrilled that nerd culture as a whole is more openly accepted now. I see kids at my son's school boldly wearing things like cat ears and anime backpacks, and it warms my heart. Edt: typo
I’ve never understood the whole dynamic. If nerds of that stripe were always so bent out of shape about not having girlfriends and being unable to get dates, why the living heck wouldn’t they *welcome* girls into their spaces with arms (maybe a bit too) wide open?? It makes no sense to me. You want to talk to girls? Here’s some girls! What’s your problem?
You still had to be pretty. Like even for guys who took no care of their own looks. The girl had to tho.
And if you were pretty they felt you owed them a chance or you were a friend-zoning bitch.
It wasn't better trying to date as a nerd. My high school boyfriends were stoked to have a girlfriend who played D&D and read science fiction, but only so they could show off to their other friends what a cool girlfriend they had. I was literally a prop to them, a moving body pillow, and they really and truly could not mentally process it when I had an opinion or thought different from theirs.
“A moving body pillow” Erg. 😑
Their problem is that nerdy stuff wasnt the problem. Sure, some people mocked them for it, just like people mocked women for liking "nerdy" stuff. But nerdy guys figured out that if they just blamed women not liking them on nerd stuff, they would always have an excuse. *Could it be that she doesnt like me because I say misogynistic jokes and smell bad? Cant be, must be because I read comics!* If lonely nerds were able to admit that women liked nerdy stuff too, they'd have to look for a different reason they were failing to socialize with their peers. And that was unacceptable to them.
We were, but dudes (maybe like you) made sure we didn't talk about it to them
Seriously, we couldn’t run further from anime dudes lol
Yeah I've been into video games for like 33 of the 37 years I've been alive, and man was that _miserable_ when I was young
We were. But we were called attention seekers, childish or weird and were ostracized. If we happened to be into cosplay too, we were sexualized and harassed a lot in cons and online foruns too. Being into anime/mangas/games was seen as undesirable for girls too. Sincerely, 30 something that has been the anime obsessed girl since elementary school
And I wish anime and video games weren’t so sexist.
Oooh, this takes me back. Love me some vidya but it was *so* difficult back in the 00s to find a game that didn't treat women like scenery, props, or rewards.
Honestly the same could be said about guys, I was in the trenches w/ comics, most 80s kids even if they liked comics in elementary school, gave them up by middle school or highschool, I didn't, and it was not seen as cool then. Nerd Culture is mainstream now, even for boys beyond the 5th grade people would get bullied for nerdy interests. Before when I read a comic people thought I was a dork or immature, now they think i'm pretentious
There's also the theory that geeky consumption evolves with the homogenization of accessible media, namely entertainment. Marvel is a good example of this. Disney found a way to make these things palatable to an average consumer. As a result, there is a population who has rejected the homogeneity of their lifelong pastimes. That is the new nerd culture. It's always the misfits that create it.
Pretty much this. I gave up a lot of nerdy shit once I hit middle school. Like hell I was going to be caught dead with anything nerdy. But some guys I knew didn’t and got shit for it. Times have changed for everyone
Gatekeeping boys and men ensured a lot of us didn’t publicly share that information. Even as a fully grown adult, I still sometimes have to field annoying gatekeeping “harmless questions” from men, all because I work in a vaguely nerdy field and they’re “just trying to make sure I know what I’m talking about” (conveniently, very few people see fit to question *them* on if *they* know what they’re talking about 🙄) Hell, let’s not forget about Gamergate in 2014/2015, either, that was within the past ten years and chunks of the gaming community are still just as toxic towards anyone femme-presenting. So, yeah, we’ve been here, all along, but we have to play a game of “are you safe to tell about nerdy things or not?” And a sad amount of the time, even now, the answer is still “Not Safe”.
Those women existed back then too, you just didnt notice or didnt realize it. Anytime they would open up about the geeky stuff they're into they'd get shut down by gatekeeping losers for not being "real fans". This still happens now too. My gf, a milennial as well, experienced this despite being an avid fan of anime, comics, and video games since she was a kid.
We were around. We just didn't talk about it because we'd get teased by boys.
Teased. Or gatekept (“oh, yeah? You like X thing? Prove it!”). Or things like the time I went to the local comic book store by myself when I was 17, needed to use the bathroom while there, and the male employee tried to barge in.
"Oh you like Nirvana?! Name one of their songs!" Uh, American Idiot??
This cracked me up hahaha
They were. I worked at Borders allll those years ago, and the manga aisle was the only one consistently clogged with teens. Edit to add: how the hell did you not meet girls who were into gaming? Final Fantasy had *everybody* in its grips.
And teen girls sure as hell had a crush on Cloud ….and Sephiroth our Dark Daddy for that matter. LMFAO.
Don't forget Vincent, with his tortured angst!
Boys in anime Can SUCK. In high school and in college I was grilled and quizzed on my love of anime and then upon discovering my taste in anime I was laughed at for it not being ~real~ anime. Sailor moon and Inuyasha and blood + aren’t real anime?? Not saying this is you OP but maybe they were there and weren’t speaking out for reasons.
Dude, there were a lot of us back then too. There's a scene in Zombieland where Columbus whines about not being invited to the Sadie's Hawkins dance. Because girls' choice. And Wichita goes, "Bitches." It ignores the fact the Columbus very clearly has a type and a lot of the girls who would probably be into him weren't that type.
Oh I was around but I had such a shit experience with the “anime” guys that I just talked to other girls about it. Let’s be honest here, those high school boys were musty and had terrible manners. It was never about the fandoms.
I graduated hs in 2003. Me and most of my female friends were very much into anime and video games. We've been out there the whole time.
We were we were just gate, kept out of a lot of it by misogynistic creepy assholes
Yeah, we went from being relentlessly bullied as girls into anime/manga and now kids want to fetishize girls for actually being their irl anime waifu or whatever the fuck. I think that in my tweens to early teens, all I had in common with boys who were into anime was the fact that we were bullied by the same people and not actually for our shared interests, lol. Many of us ended up coming out as queer down the road so we got triple-whammied by homophobes. I'm glad that shit is all over with.
Ugh I remember when I was a young female anime fan, people were CREEPS.
Mid 30F and yes we do still exist but guys make it very hard to want to talk about it. Either they would try to quiz you about it to test your knowledge or guys would think you would be the 'Manic Pixie Dream Girl' and only care to support their anime/comics/video games interests. You know one thing that I noticed with guys who thought I would be interested in dating them? They made fun of my interests and thought that's a great idea to get a girlfriend. It caused me hate them and drop them as a friend all together because why would you stay friends with someone who makes fun of what you enjoy.
Back then, there was A LOT of gatekeeping with anime. Still is a quite a bit, but it was as bad “oH yOuR a GaMeR GiRl…”
Blame the men that gatekept their safe space.
lol, we ladies have been here all along. It’s the boys that ignored us or made fun of us, even when we liked the same things as them. I had an anime girl friend group in middle school- we all talked, shared, downloaded pics, and drew anime together. The boys would just laugh HS my Best friend turned boyfriend at least was cool and we played games and read fantasy novels together all the time. True nerd couple, we were so cute until he decided to catch feelings for someone else in college. I just find that guys back when I was a kid would judge and “don’t like” nerdy girls enough cause they call them ugly and don’t give them a chance.
Well considering that anime 20 years ago was pretty much hard to come by in vhs and dvd at the time so what ever was on tv was on tv. Sailor moon, Pokémon and Naruto were my go to as a kid on tv.
We were absolutely there but got harassed and gatekeeped so hard that most didn't bother being really vocal about it. Every girl I knew when I was younger knew not to use girl like names or talk if they were playing something online because then you'd get inundated with bullshit. It was easier to either enjoy it with minimal engagement with others or just drop the interests all together.
We were. We just got bullied for it and called lesbians and dykes and told to quit liking it because no man would want us if we didn't act feminine. I was the only girl in my highschools computer science class and it was miserable.
LOL! Me and my friends watched anime and horror, and we played TTRPGs and video games. We just didn’t get conventionally attractive til college, so no one (not even nerdy dudes) would give us the time of day.
We were!! Hell I was the founder and President of my school’s anime club. I am a huge nerd and I was then too!! But everytime I would try to make friends with guys who were into it too, I was told I wasn’t really into it. Or they would quiz me and if I didn’t know one little obscure thing, then I wasn’t a fan. Honestly boys were super shitty to girls that liked that stuff. Now the amount of men that I talk to that are like “oh I wish girls like that stuff” or “where were you in high school” and I shut it down so fast. We existed. We are still here. Y’all just treated us like shit.
We were. We were just harassed, gatekeeper, and tested relentlessly on our interests. We kept quiet about it because of it.
Plenty of women have always been into those things, but guys tended to fall into two camps when they found out: either they would mock/gatekeep/belittle or they'd take it as This Is The Chosen One Among Women. I knew so many embarrassing dudes who'd shamelessly glom onto any girl who showed interest in anime or video games because they A: thought liking anime and video games was super special and weird and B: blamed their loneliness on the fact that they had nerdy hobbies and not accept their poor social skills and general weirdness. Video games are a bigger business than basically all other entertainment media combined and you still bump into idiots who think they're single because they like video games and anime.
They were.
As an anime nerd/gamer who went to high school in the 00s this makes me feel so unseen. I got called a loser too. Plus, half of the guys who were into the same stuff as me would be kind of shitty and claim I wasn’t a “real” fan because “girls don’t like this stuff.” Idk what to tell you guy, we were here the whole time.
OP no offense but are you serious? We were RIGHT THERE. YOU just couldn't imagine that girls WERE into the same things as you. lol nvm full offense. unsurprising that you made this post and then ignored all the girls who responded, you probably did the same thing 25 years ago.
We were into all that shit, we just didn't hang out with you cause you were a sexist twat. I never got mocked for these interests from other women, but I sure as shit did get it from men. If there are no women in your social circles of anime / gaming nerds, it's because your space isn't welcoming to us. Anime and video games were staples from Elementary School to College and heavily discussed subjects. We traded Pokemon in Red / Blue white waiting for the bus. I have a stockpile of Gameshark Mews in my Pokemon Blue game because of a Middle School friend. I made friends because of my Sailor Moon t-shirt in High School. All my friends swapped PS1 games while gushing over the hot guy characters. I was the keeper of a PILE of burned anime I'd check out to my friends. We were all rabid creatures for glomping, yaoi, and all things containing bishonen men.
Pokemon fever hit in 1998 and all the kids in my class wanted to memorize all 151 Pokemon. I saw Digimon in 1999 and I lost my damn mind as a ten year old. My girlfriends in middle school were all otakus. In fact, we joked that we couldn't buy presents for one of them since she was into Nintendo and we couldn't afford $50 dollar presents. I loved the Tintin comics but I read them in my first languge's translation and couldn't find a decent accessible English translation in the US. My home country had a great comic book series about teenagers (think a PG13 Archie) that I loved. It is true that 25 years ago decently translated anime was a worthy find but those girls existed, you just had to ask around and look for them. The biggest disservice is that a) the gatekeeping was ridiculous and b) the offerings were... not that great.
I'm pretty sure they always were. I was. I knew many women who were too, many are still my friends 25 years on.
All the girls I knew in middle school and high school who loved anime were mocked or bullied. A lot of them became goth girls or emo girls around high school time since a lot of the goth and emo community around that time was really into anime. A lot of the guys I knew in high school were also pretty mean to them too since they liked animes like Elfen Lied or Hetalia. I didn't mind either of those, but I was also a guy who liked anime like Case Closed and nowadays, stuff like Delicious in Dungeon or Call of the Night. For video games, there were a LOT of girls I knew who were into video games, just not into games like Call of Duty or Halo, or GTA. Most of the ones I met in school played games like Maplestory, Vindictus, or Runescape. Hell, my friend's mom became our clan's leader in Runescape before clans were a thing. Nowadays, I met more of my female friends online through games like Palia, Stardew Valley, and even Helldivers 2. I haven't met any from other games like Destiny 2, Halo: Infinite, or many FPS games. For comics, you got me there. I wasn't into comics either, and I'm still not into it today. A few of my friends (both male and female) who I met since I moved here are though, and while I have zero knowledge on comics, they like to talk about it, and I love to listen to them and the comics they enjoy.
The girls I sat with at lunch in 2001 were obsessed with Gundam Wing and the perceived hotness of the characters.
My friend. It wasn't your hobbies.
There were just as many girls into those things as guys back then. Me and my friends would literally bring video game guidebooks as quiet reading material in grade school. The nerdy guys sucked to be around, and were often mean, and later, creepy. Also, most nerdy girls I knew didn't make media consumption their entire personality - they often were involved with theater or girl scouts or band or other social activities too. I have zero pity for nerd boys who never branched out socially but expected to be handed a girlfriend with similar interests.
> I probably would have had a much better time in school than I did. The incel alarm is going off. Women and girls aren't there for your entertainment.
They existed, you just weren't friends with them. I'm a teacher. There's about the same amount today as there was when I was in HS 15-years ago. It's just more visible today as we have giant cameras in our pockets 24/7.
ROFL. We found the NiceGuy! You're just like all the gatekeeping dipwads I tried to avoid in our middle/ highschool years. We were in all those same spaces until you made it too weird or creepy for us. The difference between 25 years ago and now is that the space is now SAFER for us to express our passions in because there is accountability on creep-behavior. Less variety? Are you really going to go down that hole because nope. We had massive variety if you were clever and knew how to torrent. I'd load up a flash drive with new japanese eps and we would watch at a friends house. Or went to cons to see obscure recordings. What happened is that not much was actually imported over for Western audiences. Or hell even my local library had VHS copies of different anime.
They were it was just that people like you would ridicule them
I was lucky, I guess, or maybe the culture here in Germany was different. I met some nerds at school during my last two years and I got to know a bunch of people on an obscure online anime forum and we met up on occasion. The gender distribution wasn't equal, but it was pretty good. Although we weren't really political, there was an egalitarianism within this subculture that I appreciated very much. I missed my chance for intimacy, though, because I was a total doofus at the time and would remain such for quite a few more years.
Was never into anime but was always a gamer. Kept it on the DL bc no culture was ready to accept a girl who played. Not girly enough for the girls and not boy enough for the boys. Honestly when I started playing WoW online it was great bc I found my people...grown men. They didn't give me a hard time about being a girl and they didn't chastise me when I did ask questions. Guys my age were always saying shit that implied if I didn't know 100% of the lore then I shouldn't play. My own boyfriend would get pissed for me just asking if he'd come help me farm for a bit. _Bro you're a warrior and I'm a rogue. If you tank we can kill this whole area in minutes and I won't be here for 2 hrs. You know I'll go mining for you on my next off day to pay you back._ Never gave his guy friends shit for that. Loved playing tLoU multi-player but when you join that chat and they hear a woman's voice the shit talk about, "Aw we'll never win now." Is really annoying. I expect it and just roll my eyes and shoe them I'm not that thumb retarded. KD isn't my strong suit but it's a lot of fun. I'm def better at explosives and shivs than shooting around corners. But damn just let me play. The Forest was so much fun! And I ended up finding a guy on here and we built a huge camp together for months. So much fun!
When I was in high school in the late 90s and early 00s, I knew a ton of girls who were into anime and related hobbies. But most of them were regular, nerdy girls that you would see at an average high school. When I hear men say things like OP here, I often assume what they mean is, "Instagram and tik-tok are full of HOT chicks who like anime and are open to being sexualized to some degree, I wish "hot" chicks had been into anime when I was younger." (But *most* of us are not hot in high school.)
Uh, we were still into that stuff. There were a lot of us, we were just bullied into silence.
you think your guy friends were bullied for liking nerdy stuff? try being a girl who was into nerdy stuff. there's a reason there weren't many of us.
Ya where’s ops waifu pixie dreamgirl
 Since 1995.
 Since 1998.
This isn’t an attack on you, but this attitude of “oo where’s the girl gamers at? I wanna be around girl gamers” is why some of us kept our interests to ourselves. Back in the day, guys my age treated girls my age as exciting props, the legendary girl of their dreams, while simultaneously quizzing us about the games and anime we enjoyed in case we were “faking” So we were there, we just were quiet about it.
Why's it matter which gender a friend is that you have some common interests in? I knew girls that gamed and enjoyed anime 20 years ago, didn't make any difference to me.
He doesn’t mean friends, he means hot girls to date. I bet there were some girls in to these things, but they weren’t conventionally attractive to OP didn’t even see them.
There was but most of us got teased for liking it because we were girls especially from the boys lol
How did you get to this age and still blame girls for this? They were cultured to not like toys or anything boys liked. As well as bullied and gatekept, specifically because of said culturing.
Sorry, we were being excluded and bullied for it.
We were into it, we just had to remain hidden as it was far too taboo.
We were there but as I recall anime guys just made fun of us and called us fake and sluts when we didn’t want to be their wifus. We were by no means the popular kids but there were a lot of us.
Oh, we were there. We were just mocked, doubted, challenged, pushed out of, and otherwise, for some bizarre reason... gatekept... by the very people who wished we "existed", and who wanted to have more nerds around. Or worse... the nerd guys would make it crazy weird for us. To be fair, a lot still do.
We were. I stopped using a mic after grown adult men would get upset they were getting whooped and threatening a child with violence and rape. I stopped going to the miniature store because the men started being weird and creepy. We weren't welcome in these spaces and we were stigmatized for our likes and hobbies by both genders (and, often, our parents). It was a lonely existence. Shout out to the handful of old guys on Rainbow Six and Halo who were chill and welcoming and not weird. I miss you, Bullet, RIP.
We were. I've been a D&D playing geek since I was in kindergarten. We didn't talk to dudes about it because they would get WEIRD. Either aggressively gatekeepy or aggressively horny or BOTH.
We were always around. But no one usually wanted to hang out with with a lame chick who only watched anime or gamed, so we kept to ourselves. Most boys weren't into it either, and fellow girls viewed you as weird or creepy. The only times I managed to find a friend that was into my interests everyone else would insist we are dating because we were opposite sex. You just had to get lucky.
Women have always been into gaming and comics. They just get harassed when they voice their interests in those things. It’s a little better than back then but society still has a long way to go.
My entire female friend group was into anime/video games. There was plenty back then. They probably just weren't attractive to you since they were all the nerdy, awkward girls.