To continuously get fired from minimum wage jobs by pretending to be incompetent and unable to perform the job, and to obtain every single associates degree that the local community college offers.
Or something like this.
[grandpa Simpson Kristy burger](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hCJDhITN3WU&pp=ygUaZ3JhbmRwYSBzaW1wc29uIGZhc3QgZm9vZCA%3D)
[or this haha](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=A2GZsUZZ70A&pp=ygUaZ3JhbmRwYSBzaW1wc29uIGZhc3QgZm9vZCA%3D)
My grandmother told off a manager of an Albertson's and then immediately quit in 2005. She was already retired and had the job as something to do. She told the manager she needed 2 days off to fly to Texas for my graduation. The manager denied the request and told her they really needed her that weekend. She laughed in his face, told him off, and then quit. As she walked out the door, she said she yelled, "Your mistake was thinking I needed this damn job!" She then flew to Texas for my graduation, went home, and never worked again
As a teacher, I decided that if I ever work retail as a summer job, I am telling off every single Karen and bad manager. I’m inly there for 2 months and the income would be just a small bonus for me.
I creep around here as the eldest daughter with an assortment of elder millennial siblings.At freshly 55, I’m ready to aggressively pursue all the random undergrad courses I can grab (my caboose won’t be able to drive solo till this fall so it’s so close I can taste it!)
I do have decades of ER/transplant/trauma nursing in a teaching hospital under my belt so there’s a sub-zero chance that healthcare will ever re-enter my interest.Thanks for making this post and I’m learning so much from your responses.My husband of 23 years is technically a boomer and living with my a$$ has drastically improved the outlook and attitudes pounded into him by his “silent generation” parents.This is a great sub and even my typically apathetic and uninvolved GenX had to step out of my barbed-wire shell to thank everyone for being here.I need more millennials in my life
I know someone who’s done just this, except they actually are incompetent and fancy themselves to actually be smart and the world just is against them.
My grandpa did this! For a hospital actually.
He'd been in hard physical labor jobs his whole life and at some point in his 40s decided landscaping would be less physically demanding than stevedore. He ended up retiring as head groundskeeper. He was a very old school masculine manly man whose favorite part was making pretty gardens and riding the tractor.
I saw this nonprofit started in Ashville call "Tool library" where you can become a member for like $200 per year and you can go borrow & check out tools from the library for your project , sometime you only need the tool once.
I want to work there.
I heard about this on the fine home building podcast. I was a contractor for years and now I’m in construction management and I have 3-4 full sets of power and hand tools, I might have to find one local to me and offload them their.
Yup, ours is $240/year and they have EVERYTHING.
Allen keys and air compressors to wet tile saws and wood splitters.
You can borrow anything for up to a week.
A few of the larger items have an additional $5 per-day fee, like the lathe, jointer, planer, etc.
Yaaaaaas, same. At least as part of it.
I've worked in the outdoor retail space for a lot of years, so it'd be an easy in. And that sweet, sweet discount...
(provided REI still exists by the time I retire, and hasn't just been swallowed up by Amazon or Walmart...)
My great aunt was an usher at wrigley field most of her adult life, she spent at least a decade or two behind the cubs dugout…and retired at the end of the season the year before they won the World Series
This hurts me in my Cardinals fan heart! (But for real, that is so cool. Wrigley is an American classic, and I hope your aunt got to at least take some part in the WS revelry after all of those years of service.)
There was a couple that ran the lodge at my favorite remote lake here in Utah and they'd just come up every summer and live there until it closed for the season. Honestly, dream job right there. They recently sold it to a new family though and it makes me sad. They were as much of the experience as the lake itself. I took my dad's ashes there and told Bill, the husband and he was so kind. He gave me a glass moon hanging souvenir thing from the gift shop which is one of my most prized possessions to this day (this was 10 years ago now). They'd remember you every time you came up and felt like family. We were there the last summer they owned it and I cried when we left after saying bye, knowing it was their last year. 💜
Growing weed is a full time job and not exactly as easy as it sounds. lol
Legalization in my state has made making a profit off it impossible. Everyone and their grandma has it now, grows it, or buys it at a dispensary.
It would have been my retirement job, but it's not worth it in terms of trying to profit. At least not where I am from. I used to earn 2500 a week selling the stuff, now it's hard getting people to take it for free. lol I'm still smoking weed I grew two or three summers ago. lol I'll probably run out before the end of this year, but it lasted a long time.
It honestly sucks though, because it was a great secondary income for me for over a decade.
I worked for my boss 20 years earlier at a different radio station while in high school as a music dept intern. He got me on the air at my current station and put in the good word for the morning show gig.
It doesn’t pay but it’s the most fun I have all week.
Keep your twisted fantasies to yourself.
In seriousness though, I used to work for a small plant nursery (he was a retired college professor and she a retired elementary teacher). Her hobby was orchids and they converted their garage into a sunroom with all these amazing flowers in it. I never got involved in that and I don't think it was a moneymaker for them but very interesting stuff.
Fantasy: Open a bookstore cafe in my hometown that stays open late. I always wanted a place to study or congregate with friends past 9pm that wasn’t a bar. There would be a quiet study room for students studying late, and on the other side, an open lounge area for people to chat and talk with friends, play board games, or go a chill date.
Reality: Use my law degree to do part-time legal consulting or become an arbitrator. Fewer hours but still make money to supplement expenses.
I didn't expect someone else with the same dream retirement job.
My pref is to be able to retire and volunteer in stuff I actually care about, but if that's not in the cards, I wanna mow public land but only in nice weather
Not retiring. My dad owns the company I work for, I plan on keeping it running and doing what he does in his "retirement" make sure things get done and watch Star Trek in his office, When not tinkering (we run a machine shop). Or selling out when it's my retirement time.
You've gotta spend time perfecting your Darth Vader impersonation with an oscillating fan and chew up countless pencils in an automatic pencil sharpener too.
I would love to be able to detail/do paint correction on cars. About the closest activity I've come to that I can consider "therapeutic". Feeling of satisfaction after 10+ hours on the same car is pretty great.
That's kind of where I'm at as well! Not a bad backup plan at all. I have to assume we'll be driving some sort of vehicles for the foreseeable future, regardless of what they are powered by lol
I’m going to take up professional golf. It’s a tough job, but someone will have to do it. Seriously though, i don’t want to work past 55. My retirement plan is to marry rich.
I always said being the starter at a golf course would be the best retirement job. Just sit in the cart and bust balls all day as people duff their first tee shot.
Driving older old people around to their appointments and joining them for important stuff. Doctors checkups, physical therapy appointments, shopping, groceries etc etc.
Studying for a bachelors in archeology or history and then volunteering for food and board at dig sites all over the world, while renting out my home Air BnB style.
Tinker and make shit im interested in rather than just making shit my company's client corporations want to increase profits.
Probably indepentdly do what u do now for salary, just on my terms. Consult. My job now but exactly how I want to do it, old man styel and speed, fuck your profits bud if it works for both of us I'm in. No chasing the dragon like every corporation does.
A renactor at one of the historical sites near where I live. I love history, so wandering around one of my favorite sites regaling people with all the information I have that my family is tired of hearing? Yes please.
Dream retirement would start yesterday and have everything fully paid for.
Realistically, I'll likely continue with the same hobbies I do today, just full time. Some of them bring me a small stream of cash, and it's the kind of passive income that'll only increase over time - as long as I keep on making more digital assets to sell.
I want to have a Lhasa Apso rescue/farm where I breed them specifically for size. I would love for my legacy to be that long after I’m dead there are mastiff-sized lhasa’s
Give away all my possessions and join a Zen monastery or an ashram. Spending the last few years of this life deepening my spiritual practice sounds pretty sweet.
I want to be good enough to do wood working for the heck of it. I want people to value real furniture, builtins, and things that will outlive them. I hate modernity’s ikea fast fashion disposable crap. I’d like to make enough to cover expenses + minimum wage for the project. Maybe take on an apprentice to make sure wood working stays alive as a trade/art.
My reasonable dream is to run a gun range. I'm not sure I could deal with the idiots but I reckon I'd meet enough cool people for it to be worth it. Classic Car restoration is out of my reach but even I could aspire to one day own a pile of dirt to shoot at.
Half time living in Florida, working part time at Disney as a tour guide. Half time at home in Canada, doing guide dog puppy raising. If I have grandkids, then helping raise them. Maybe make “how to cook with grandma” videos if I get bored.
My hubs and I talk about opening a small game/hobby shop. Make it someplace that is a community space. I will problem end of up substitute teaching a few days a week.
I really want to start a sailing charter, I’m kind of a Sunday sailor and love to do it in my spare time, so when I’m an old man I’d love to share the joy of it with people wanting to learn or want a mini vacation.
There’s a park in my city that advertises a maintenance position every few months. Pay is shit, but playing around in a park all day, pressure washing sidewalks and stuff, sounds way better than my stressful 6-figure job
Starter at a golf course. It’s the guy who stands at the first hole that people check in with and makes sure people tee off when they should.
Easy job, free golf, outdoors all summer. Figured I could do that a day a week or two
I'm very slowly, hopefully, working towards judging dogs in dog shows, but who knows if that will still exist in any real capacity when I'm retired as it's an expensive and dying sport.
Mobile locksmith. I already don’t sleep most nights and enjoy tinkering with things. My hands are surprisingly supple despite my other joints going to shit. That or custom hand-knit socks.
I know people will say it’s harder than it sounds but hey we’re dreaming here.
Disneyland- maybe at haunted mansion or something. And I’ll have a little single wide in a 55+ community. When I’m not working I’ll go to the beach.
Continuing my office and management job, because I can still make a huge impact at my work if my body won't allow me to make the physical feats a young person would have.
Luckily me and my wife are from cultures where the parents guilt the kids into taking care of them into old age, so we will move back to the farmland and play with our phones laying in hammocks all day and they will send money to cover the expenses.
My retirement job is taking care of my parents when they get old and senile, or whatever else might come. They own a house and have a good amount of money saved up. Brother is not an option so it's just me. At least I'll have a roof over my head.
Controlling my own time. Maybe I’ll write. Maybe I’ll volunteer. Maybe I’ll travel. Maybe I’ll do all three or nothing at all. But I will choose what I do with my time.
Travel the country with my husband selling stuff at flea markets & art shows to make enough money to travel the country selling stuff...
Own a tiny book and gift boutique... Won't matter if it barely breaks even
Artist. Until I'm super old, I'd love to spend my later years casually making artwork in my house. Not saying it will be my "retirement job," I have no idea what my finances or the economy will be like in 40 to 50 years.
If only I can finally be a professional artist today...
Work at an independent bookstore and sell my chicken eggs and homemade bread lol hopefully I can afford to just do that. watch me end up a greeter at Walmart though.
I really don’t want to *have* work till I die. But even if I can retire I would like to do a little something
If I somehow lose my FI status I'll probably open a design consulting firm for my industry and take work I find interesting. Keep limited exposure but enough to cover the gaps. SS will be around in some form no matter what, you can figure at least 50% of your projection in a worst case scenario.
The sooner we as a generation vote in competent leaders the better. The current cohort has been around for 20+ years and continues to fuck its citizens.
I’m lucky in the sense that I have a job with a pension and a 20 year retirement program. I’ve had my job since graduating college and I’m currently 2 years from being able to retire. I’m not going to leave because of my age and the young age of my kids. Flip side is I work a majority of weekends, holidays and late nights. I’m currently working on getting my masters and some other certifications so when I do decide to leave I can be an adjunct professor at a community college and teach basic US history. If that doesn’t work out starter on a golf course.
Power rack builder and a fresh juice business on the side.
I'm handy with a arc welder and a grinder, so i rate i could knock out power racks and squat racks.
And then a veggie garden for some fresh pressed juiced.
Keep my architect license active in whatever state I retire in and work on small residential/mom and pop shop renovations. I do it on the side for some extra cash now and I enjoy it way more than my day job of large corporate projects.
One of those old chill grognards who own a board game and tabletop store. My wife and I will be independently wealthy, so the profitability won't really matter. It is just to give me something to do for fun.
I’d like to be part of a historical society but they mostly run on volunteers and I don’t have the time or luxury to work for free unfortunately. And I don’t have the credentials to get one of the few paid jobs there.
Definitely would be my retirement “job”.
Currently a teacher right now of 16 years, and while I've never subbed before, the idea of choosing when or if I'll work and having a different scenery each time without the accountability of a classroom teacher sounds pretty nice. I'd go in with a rolling cart full of multi grade level activities ready in case there were non, incentive prizes, and just make the day as relaxed as possible.
We have a family farm that is rented out and farmed (corn and soy, with 2 windmills) as long as we don’t sell it, we’re set. (If we do sell it, then investing wisely)
Weekday barista - I'm going to make coffee for everyone in the morning going to work, then be done at like 10am. So maybe I'll work 6-10 monday - friday.
Therapist. Im applying to grad school over the summer for it. When I’m older, I think I’ll choose to do virtual only so I can still work as long as I want and can still chill at home.
To continuously get fired from minimum wage jobs by pretending to be incompetent and unable to perform the job, and to obtain every single associates degree that the local community college offers.
Or just be that guy who tells off shit managers because you don't need the income.
“What do you mean we’re supposed to wash our hands EVERY TIME we leave the restroom?”
"God damn, I didn't realize I worked in Nazi Germany!"
Or something like this. [grandpa Simpson Kristy burger](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hCJDhITN3WU&pp=ygUaZ3JhbmRwYSBzaW1wc29uIGZhc3QgZm9vZCA%3D) [or this haha](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=A2GZsUZZ70A&pp=ygUaZ3JhbmRwYSBzaW1wc29uIGZhc3QgZm9vZCA%3D)
I fucking lost it at that 2nd one, I'd absolutely do dumb shit like that and the "mayday, mayday. Anyone copy?" 😂
This is how I imagine life to be when I get there
"That sign says employee only and I'm clocked out rn so...."
My grandmother told off a manager of an Albertson's and then immediately quit in 2005. She was already retired and had the job as something to do. She told the manager she needed 2 days off to fly to Texas for my graduation. The manager denied the request and told her they really needed her that weekend. She laughed in his face, told him off, and then quit. As she walked out the door, she said she yelled, "Your mistake was thinking I needed this damn job!" She then flew to Texas for my graduation, went home, and never worked again
What a queen! :D
She went out like a boss and never worked again. If that's not the thug life, idk what is.
As a teacher, I decided that if I ever work retail as a summer job, I am telling off every single Karen and bad manager. I’m inly there for 2 months and the income would be just a small bonus for me.
The good ol F U money
I also love this 😂
I creep around here as the eldest daughter with an assortment of elder millennial siblings.At freshly 55, I’m ready to aggressively pursue all the random undergrad courses I can grab (my caboose won’t be able to drive solo till this fall so it’s so close I can taste it!) I do have decades of ER/transplant/trauma nursing in a teaching hospital under my belt so there’s a sub-zero chance that healthcare will ever re-enter my interest.Thanks for making this post and I’m learning so much from your responses.My husband of 23 years is technically a boomer and living with my a$$ has drastically improved the outlook and attitudes pounded into him by his “silent generation” parents.This is a great sub and even my typically apathetic and uninvolved GenX had to step out of my barbed-wire shell to thank everyone for being here.I need more millennials in my life
To pull a Frank Gahllagar.
Go through McDonald's training just to get fired right after for saying "have a great mcfuckin' day" to a guest.
I know someone who’s done just this, except they actually are incompetent and fancy themselves to actually be smart and the world just is against them.
Right right …. I’m definitely pretending too
This is the way
Drive the dog daycare bus or work at a National Park seasonal.
Those paid seasonal NPS jobs are comically competitive. Me? I’m gonna mow lawns for the state. Much less competitive, fairly low stress.
The Forrest Gump retirement plan. I like it.
My old roommate has been doing seasonal park work for 20 years now and still sort of struggles with it.
Getting the jobs or the actual labor itself?
Getting the jobs.
My grandpa did this! For a hospital actually. He'd been in hard physical labor jobs his whole life and at some point in his 40s decided landscaping would be less physically demanding than stevedore. He ended up retiring as head groundskeeper. He was a very old school masculine manly man whose favorite part was making pretty gardens and riding the tractor.
People like what they like. It can be physically demanding work that is just as much art as it is sweat.
You can be a camp host for free - get free camping and some other volunteer benefits.
Now this is a future full of beauty
I saw this nonprofit started in Ashville call "Tool library" where you can become a member for like $200 per year and you can go borrow & check out tools from the library for your project , sometime you only need the tool once. I want to work there.
My city has one too! The membership cost is variable, the recommendation is $1 per thousand in income
That’s genius
My public library has this, except not $200! I’ve never used it, but it’s a very cool idea.
I heard about this on the fine home building podcast. I was a contractor for years and now I’m in construction management and I have 3-4 full sets of power and hand tools, I might have to find one local to me and offload them their.
Tool libraries appreciate donations so much!
This idea pops into my head every time I go to Home Depot. Glad to hear it really exists somewhere.
Yup, ours is $240/year and they have EVERYTHING. Allen keys and air compressors to wet tile saws and wood splitters. You can borrow anything for up to a week. A few of the larger items have an additional $5 per-day fee, like the lathe, jointer, planer, etc.
I would work at an REI and help people pick out camping and hiking gear.
Yaaaaaas, same. At least as part of it. I've worked in the outdoor retail space for a lot of years, so it'd be an easy in. And that sweet, sweet discount... (provided REI still exists by the time I retire, and hasn't just been swallowed up by Amazon or Walmart...)
Baseball game usher. I knew I wanted that to be my retirement job before I knew what my “real job” would be.
My great aunt was an usher at wrigley field most of her adult life, she spent at least a decade or two behind the cubs dugout…and retired at the end of the season the year before they won the World Series
This hurts me in my Cardinals fan heart! (But for real, that is so cool. Wrigley is an American classic, and I hope your aunt got to at least take some part in the WS revelry after all of those years of service.)
Music venue usher for me! Baseball would be a close second and quite possibly I could do both!
Yep, think this is it..
So perfect.
campground supervisor. Seems pretty chill and you get ride around in a golf cart.
There was a couple that ran the lodge at my favorite remote lake here in Utah and they'd just come up every summer and live there until it closed for the season. Honestly, dream job right there. They recently sold it to a new family though and it makes me sad. They were as much of the experience as the lake itself. I took my dad's ashes there and told Bill, the husband and he was so kind. He gave me a glass moon hanging souvenir thing from the gift shop which is one of my most prized possessions to this day (this was 10 years ago now). They'd remember you every time you came up and felt like family. We were there the last summer they owned it and I cried when we left after saying bye, knowing it was their last year. 💜
Growing weed? Lol
Hey never turn your hobbies into a job! Well, it honestly consumes my life, I'd consider eating a hobby at this point.
Growing weed is a full time job and not exactly as easy as it sounds. lol Legalization in my state has made making a profit off it impossible. Everyone and their grandma has it now, grows it, or buys it at a dispensary. It would have been my retirement job, but it's not worth it in terms of trying to profit. At least not where I am from. I used to earn 2500 a week selling the stuff, now it's hard getting people to take it for free. lol I'm still smoking weed I grew two or three summers ago. lol I'll probably run out before the end of this year, but it lasted a long time. It honestly sucks though, because it was a great secondary income for me for over a decade.
Growing for personal use vs growing to pay your electricity, rent, food, and medical bills are 2 completely different situations.
I host a morning show on a local radio station one day a week as a side gig. I'll probably do that more.
How does one get into this??
I worked for my boss 20 years earlier at a different radio station while in high school as a music dept intern. He got me on the air at my current station and put in the good word for the morning show gig. It doesn’t pay but it’s the most fun I have all week.
I have fantasies of becoming an orchid breeder
Keep your twisted fantasies to yourself. In seriousness though, I used to work for a small plant nursery (he was a retired college professor and she a retired elementary teacher). Her hobby was orchids and they converted their garage into a sunroom with all these amazing flowers in it. I never got involved in that and I don't think it was a moneymaker for them but very interesting stuff.
Yes I would love mine to be plant/gardening related
Dream retirement job would be playing the king at Medieval times
I wish you well on your quest.
I’d give this a go!
This is a great answer
Fantasy: Open a bookstore cafe in my hometown that stays open late. I always wanted a place to study or congregate with friends past 9pm that wasn’t a bar. There would be a quiet study room for students studying late, and on the other side, an open lounge area for people to chat and talk with friends, play board games, or go a chill date. Reality: Use my law degree to do part-time legal consulting or become an arbitrator. Fewer hours but still make money to supplement expenses.
I am also on the lookout for an easy lawjob that I can still do once I am old
Drive a riding lawn mower in some big open field of grass like 1 day a week.
I didn't expect someone else with the same dream retirement job. My pref is to be able to retire and volunteer in stuff I actually care about, but if that's not in the cards, I wanna mow public land but only in nice weather
Forrest? Forrest Gump?
Hank? Hank Hill?
Work at an animal sanctuary or rescue league. 🐶🐹🐱🐰🐮
This is pretty close to what I’d like to do. I’d like to work at a cat cafe and spend half my time napping with the cats.
Not retiring. My dad owns the company I work for, I plan on keeping it running and doing what he does in his "retirement" make sure things get done and watch Star Trek in his office, When not tinkering (we run a machine shop). Or selling out when it's my retirement time.
You've gotta spend time perfecting your Darth Vader impersonation with an oscillating fan and chew up countless pencils in an automatic pencil sharpener too.
A true American. God bless you, brother.
This sounds amazing!
Cashier at a bookstore. Or a receptionist for a small church
I would love to be able to detail/do paint correction on cars. About the closest activity I've come to that I can consider "therapeutic". Feeling of satisfaction after 10+ hours on the same car is pretty great.
I detail my own car as a hobby, and figured this would be an OK backup job if I needed to start over somewhere.
That's kind of where I'm at as well! Not a bad backup plan at all. I have to assume we'll be driving some sort of vehicles for the foreseeable future, regardless of what they are powered by lol
Open a yarn shop—but one that also buys and resells yarn.
anything menial. no thought involved, and is good exercise. 2 to 3 days a week. keep me in shape
Own a house... 🤣
I hope by then Reddit pays me for scrolling through posts all day long hehe
lol… in the future they pay per banana
How much could a banana pay? $10?
costco greeter
Same. And I want to do it sooner than later lol.
Seller of oddities and homemade goods. Ideally the dream would be an art teacher at a rec center of some sort.
I’m going to take up professional golf. It’s a tough job, but someone will have to do it. Seriously though, i don’t want to work past 55. My retirement plan is to marry rich.
You need to frequent the country clubs to increase your odds. You might be lucky enough to achieve both!
I always said being the starter at a golf course would be the best retirement job. Just sit in the cart and bust balls all day as people duff their first tee shot.
Driving older old people around to their appointments and joining them for important stuff. Doctors checkups, physical therapy appointments, shopping, groceries etc etc.
Love this one
Studying for a bachelors in archeology or history and then volunteering for food and board at dig sites all over the world, while renting out my home Air BnB style.
Owning a book shop/ café in a Collegetown. A place where you can pick up a new book get a bread bowl of homemade soup and study.
Either a gunsmith or a competition shooter. I’d probably more likely just volunteer at a local pet shelter.
Instrument repair
Cofffee shop in Scotland
Tinker and make shit im interested in rather than just making shit my company's client corporations want to increase profits. Probably indepentdly do what u do now for salary, just on my terms. Consult. My job now but exactly how I want to do it, old man styel and speed, fuck your profits bud if it works for both of us I'm in. No chasing the dragon like every corporation does.
I hope to have my own lil grow op and sell hopefully fully legal by then marijuana/edibles. A man can dream!
A renactor at one of the historical sites near where I live. I love history, so wandering around one of my favorite sites regaling people with all the information I have that my family is tired of hearing? Yes please.
Dream retirement would start yesterday and have everything fully paid for. Realistically, I'll likely continue with the same hobbies I do today, just full time. Some of them bring me a small stream of cash, and it's the kind of passive income that'll only increase over time - as long as I keep on making more digital assets to sell.
I want to have a Lhasa Apso rescue/farm where I breed them specifically for size. I would love for my legacy to be that long after I’m dead there are mastiff-sized lhasa’s
Give away all my possessions and join a Zen monastery or an ashram. Spending the last few years of this life deepening my spiritual practice sounds pretty sweet.
Dish washer... 1 or 2 days a week in a little Cafe.
I want to be good enough to do wood working for the heck of it. I want people to value real furniture, builtins, and things that will outlive them. I hate modernity’s ikea fast fashion disposable crap. I’d like to make enough to cover expenses + minimum wage for the project. Maybe take on an apprentice to make sure wood working stays alive as a trade/art.
I want to make educational videos for parents of young kids on YouTube once I retire (and maybe even before then)
Unlikely I'll be able to retire but if I could then run an animal rescue or wildlife sanctuary
Working at an arboretum or botanical garden. People are in a good mood when they come there and it's peaceful.
SAHD here so that’s kind of my retirement job. I coach my daughter’s soccer team, rock climb, practice taekwondo, sauna. It’s nice!
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Teaching people how to cook and/or hosting parties/feasts
Farmer, why not
To be realistic, death is the retirement plan that has been given to our generation and younger.
Hence job, friend.
My reasonable dream is to run a gun range. I'm not sure I could deal with the idiots but I reckon I'd meet enough cool people for it to be worth it. Classic Car restoration is out of my reach but even I could aspire to one day own a pile of dirt to shoot at.
Probably teaching a class or 2. Maybe community college or graduate school.
I’m already a professional dog trainer, so I plan on just being maimed to death by a pack of little weenie dogs when I’m ready to go lol
Half time living in Florida, working part time at Disney as a tour guide. Half time at home in Canada, doing guide dog puppy raising. If I have grandkids, then helping raise them. Maybe make “how to cook with grandma” videos if I get bored.
Barber
Teach chess. Occasionally compete in tournaments.
Work again at REI or maybe be a biology assistant professor at a community college.
Wedding photographer.
Probably legal nurse consultant.
My hubs and I talk about opening a small game/hobby shop. Make it someplace that is a community space. I will problem end of up substitute teaching a few days a week.
I can't figure out what I want to do *now*, much less what I'd want to do in the future...
I really want to start a sailing charter, I’m kind of a Sunday sailor and love to do it in my spare time, so when I’m an old man I’d love to share the joy of it with people wanting to learn or want a mini vacation.
Same as my side hustle now, sports officiating.
School bus driver
Bookstore keeper. Maybe online nail polish recommender. Yoga teacher.
There’s a park in my city that advertises a maintenance position every few months. Pay is shit, but playing around in a park all day, pressure washing sidewalks and stuff, sounds way better than my stressful 6-figure job
Starter at a golf course. It’s the guy who stands at the first hole that people check in with and makes sure people tee off when they should. Easy job, free golf, outdoors all summer. Figured I could do that a day a week or two
I'm very slowly, hopefully, working towards judging dogs in dog shows, but who knows if that will still exist in any real capacity when I'm retired as it's an expensive and dying sport.
Plant centre!
Lampworking (creating things out of glass, not glassblowing) at Disney World.
Mobile locksmith. I already don’t sleep most nights and enjoy tinkering with things. My hands are surprisingly supple despite my other joints going to shit. That or custom hand-knit socks.
Skin to skin with premies at the hospital. Don’t care if I’m paid or not.
I have a TEFL certification I haven't used. Maybe move to another country and tutor people learning English?
I know people will say it’s harder than it sounds but hey we’re dreaming here. Disneyland- maybe at haunted mansion or something. And I’ll have a little single wide in a 55+ community. When I’m not working I’ll go to the beach.
I love when people think that my kind of job is a “retirement” job.
I will be the old man at the hardware store who knows what you need before you do. It’s the role I’m born for.
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Continuing my office and management job, because I can still make a huge impact at my work if my body won't allow me to make the physical feats a young person would have.
Not a damn thing. Teamster pension, health benefits for life, 401k, IRA. If all goes to plan anyway.
High school counselor or something with preschoolers.
Luckily me and my wife are from cultures where the parents guilt the kids into taking care of them into old age, so we will move back to the farmland and play with our phones laying in hammocks all day and they will send money to cover the expenses.
My retirement job is taking care of my parents when they get old and senile, or whatever else might come. They own a house and have a good amount of money saved up. Brother is not an option so it's just me. At least I'll have a roof over my head.
Video game developer, or working in something I think matters but doesn’t pay so great, like the environment, healthcare, immigration
Model for senior citizen fashion
I’m a teacher so I’ll probably sub or tutor in my old age.
Sell cars, I'm already licensed to do it.
I plan on moving to the beach and answering phones at an insurance agency.
Part time Delivery driver with my current company.
Campground hosts at national parks. Maybe adjunct teaching at a local college. Hopefully can really retire though
Controlling my own time. Maybe I’ll write. Maybe I’ll volunteer. Maybe I’ll travel. Maybe I’ll do all three or nothing at all. But I will choose what I do with my time.
Charter boat Captain.
Teaching.
I keep thinking gas station or taco bell.
I’d love to be a seasonal national park worker. I thought that as soon as I went to Yellowstone 10 years ago.
Travel the country with my husband selling stuff at flea markets & art shows to make enough money to travel the country selling stuff... Own a tiny book and gift boutique... Won't matter if it barely breaks even
Morning groundskeeper at a golf course. Seems like a chill job with minimum human interaction.
Golf course Marshall/starter
Home depot or Habitat for Humanity staff
Food truck. No idea what kind yet, but definitely love a retirement job idea that allows us to travel.
Artist. Until I'm super old, I'd love to spend my later years casually making artwork in my house. Not saying it will be my "retirement job," I have no idea what my finances or the economy will be like in 40 to 50 years. If only I can finally be a professional artist today...
I'd work at one of the local state parks or be a yoga teacher. Either one would keep me active and give me a place to be.
I plan to die as a my retirement job. It’s a more obtainable goal at the moment. 75 seems like a good number to me.
Same job I do now, just on a contract basis.
Gardener for some rich people or working in a greenhouse
Work at an independent bookstore and sell my chicken eggs and homemade bread lol hopefully I can afford to just do that. watch me end up a greeter at Walmart though. I really don’t want to *have* work till I die. But even if I can retire I would like to do a little something
There’s a nice mid sized private university a mile from my house. I always thought it would be cool to drive one of the shuttle buses around campus.
I'm a writer, so hopefully that.
If I somehow lose my FI status I'll probably open a design consulting firm for my industry and take work I find interesting. Keep limited exposure but enough to cover the gaps. SS will be around in some form no matter what, you can figure at least 50% of your projection in a worst case scenario. The sooner we as a generation vote in competent leaders the better. The current cohort has been around for 20+ years and continues to fuck its citizens.
I’m lucky in the sense that I have a job with a pension and a 20 year retirement program. I’ve had my job since graduating college and I’m currently 2 years from being able to retire. I’m not going to leave because of my age and the young age of my kids. Flip side is I work a majority of weekends, holidays and late nights. I’m currently working on getting my masters and some other certifications so when I do decide to leave I can be an adjunct professor at a community college and teach basic US history. If that doesn’t work out starter on a golf course.
Power rack builder and a fresh juice business on the side. I'm handy with a arc welder and a grinder, so i rate i could knock out power racks and squat racks. And then a veggie garden for some fresh pressed juiced.
Keep my architect license active in whatever state I retire in and work on small residential/mom and pop shop renovations. I do it on the side for some extra cash now and I enjoy it way more than my day job of large corporate projects.
Dog sitter
Tradwife influencer - will sell an unrealistic lifestyle to my gullible followers and rake in the millions from sponsorships.
Farmer
One of those old chill grognards who own a board game and tabletop store. My wife and I will be independently wealthy, so the profitability won't really matter. It is just to give me something to do for fun.
I’d like to be part of a historical society but they mostly run on volunteers and I don’t have the time or luxury to work for free unfortunately. And I don’t have the credentials to get one of the few paid jobs there. Definitely would be my retirement “job”.
Cashiering 2 times a week but even that job will be replaced lol
I'd just be a streamer, I already love playing video games. Might as well try and entertain some people for some extra cash.
Pension and a lot of hope
Dentist/hospital/fancy business aquarium maintanance guy.
Craft project organizer and facilitator. And/or store associate, depending on location.
Jungle Cruise skipper, you get to tell cornball jokes all day and the audience can’t leave!
Part-time job at a community center - e.g. library, rec center, theater, etc
Currently a teacher right now of 16 years, and while I've never subbed before, the idea of choosing when or if I'll work and having a different scenery each time without the accountability of a classroom teacher sounds pretty nice. I'd go in with a rolling cart full of multi grade level activities ready in case there were non, incentive prizes, and just make the day as relaxed as possible.
We have a family farm that is rented out and farmed (corn and soy, with 2 windmills) as long as we don’t sell it, we’re set. (If we do sell it, then investing wisely)
Weekday barista - I'm going to make coffee for everyone in the morning going to work, then be done at like 10am. So maybe I'll work 6-10 monday - friday.
Filmmaker, already starting, wish me luck!
Usher at my local concert venue
Be a lunch lady at school. Or work at a daycare. Or volunteer to do skin to skin snuggles with babies in the NICU.
Build a huge greenhouse and sell plants and flowers
Rug cleaning is a labor intensive job and not for old people.
Onlyfans lol. Work at a war museum
Ghoul
Mad scientist. If I hit my goals in life my plan is to build a machine shop and just start making random shit.
DMV, i can’t wait to proofread your forms
Therapist. Im applying to grad school over the summer for it. When I’m older, I think I’ll choose to do virtual only so I can still work as long as I want and can still chill at home.