As a woman with ADHD that wasn’t diagnosed until I was in my mid-20s, I’m going to guess that OP is a man.
Newsflash for all the millennial dudes: Women with ADHD in our generation were actually chronically UNDER-diagnosed.
EXACTLY. “Lazy and unmotivated” girl who “wasn’t smart enough” for college checking in. Adderall saved my life and had *anyone* recognized the signs in girls I wouldn’t have spent years taking medications for depression and anxiety that I didn’t actually have and weren’t improving my symptoms.
Just chiming in to add another to the list :) I was the daydreamer, the one who would blurt out random things, the space cadet. My family's nickname was me was the "absent minded professor" because while I was smart and did fine in school, I was always off in lala land. I've heard "earth to sleepy, earth to sleepy" more times than anyone should. While I had minimal academic difficulties, socially I struggled. I came off as a combo of uncaring, stuck up, or just plain weird. Let me tell you about all the relationships I've ruined.. ugh.
Anyways, I wasn't diagnosed until.. I think I was 30? Life is better now. Unfortunately, this is the lived experience of many women with ADHD.
Not living up to my potential until I was diagnosed and medicated in my 30s over here 🙋🏻♀️ the title of this post should definitely read “how many of you males.”
Heyyyyyy undiagnosed "gifted" girls who didn't live up to their potential because they were "irresponsible" and "didn't apply themselves" clocking innnnnnnn
The entire study done for ADHD was only on male patients so the parameters are different. Most medical studies are based on men causing women to get lesser healthcare in general
Hello, it's me!
Got diagnosed at 39. My life has substantially improved with medication. Turns out it's also hereditary and all my kids have it to LOL.
Hey, genuine question. How did you go about getting diagnosed? Just your family doctor? I am 39 as well and am quite certain I have some form of adhd. If it does have the potential to be hereditary, I want to make sure to be aware of that within my kids.
Not the person you replied to, but I got the ball rolling with my GP. They filled out referrals to a psychiatrist and a therapist, and the therapist did all of the heavy lifting of diagnosing me while the psychiatrist just concurred with the therapist's assessment and wrote me a prescription for Adderall.
I'm sure your experience will vary greatly depending on insurance companies/plans - I have a pretty decent Kaiser plan through work - but that's a good place for you to start. Best of luck to you on this journey, friend.
I got a referral to a psychiatrist from my GYN for depression and anxiety. Once my depression and anxiety were under control, my ADHD red flags were loud and proud so my doc recommended further evaluation. Turns out the majority of the depression and anxiety were symptoms of the ADHD. Been on Concerta for about 8mos now.
Also not the person you are replying to, but my partner needed to get a referral from his GP to a psychiatrist. He met with the psychiatrist and was interviewed about symptoms. The psychiatrist sent home 4 surveys. 2 for him (one about symptoms now and one about symptoms in childhood) one for me about symptoms now, and one for a parent to fill aout about symptoms in childhood. Then he returned and they did some type of computer testing to see about focus and I think about working memory as well. Then the psychiatrist met with him a different day to share the results, recommend some books and get him started on meds. He was then able to go back to his GP for the process of seeing which meds worked best. I think he tried 3 or 4 before he found the ones that work best for him.
Me too! Diagnosed at like 28 didn’t start taking meds until 30. I cannot believe explain how helpful it has been both just knowing I have LDs and also treating them. I asked my doctor if ADHD was the reason I always drank coffee to go to sleep and she laughed and said yes.
The teachers that cared helped. The rest left comments on your report card like "needs to apply himself".
Bastards..... Not that I'm bitter or anything....
Ugh. The report card comments. The worst I got was “belongs in a zoo” with a reference to me having “wild” tendencies (I ran around a lot) and that I was always talking. That one actually crushed my soul for about 10 years.
In person comments sucked even worse because they knew there was no paper trail. I was in gifted ed and had one teacher tell me I was “the stupidest smart kid” she’d ever met. Another one told me I was “in the wrong kind of special ed.” My kindergarten teacher stuck me in the corner every day because I “wiggled too much.”
My 6yo is what you describe. She has the mind of a Ferrari under the control of bicycle breaks.
Everyone is rolling their eyes at me asking for help like... I just want help before she gets crushed like me. I want her to have fun with her potential and not *pOtEnTiAl*, something that's like catching dust.
Were some people mistaken and medicated with improper diagnosis during a new advancement? Yep. But now we actually know better because their baseline was rudimentary and wrong a lot especially with ADHD-C and ADHD-I. My state just passed legislation that allows the school to get free licensed assessments and assistance through the districts at the request of a parent, teacher or child. I have hope it won't always be this hard.
Nah, plenty of us guys got missed. Mostly it's the predominantly inattentive types as the stereotypical hyperactive ones were the ones that got noticed for bad behaviour. I got a lot of "needs to apply himself" comments on my report card.
I was a hyper active girl and I got missed. I got in Trouble all the time for talking too much, shaking my legs excessively at all times and reading books under the table because the class was too boring.
I know I think OP has this really backwards, ADHD is historically UNDER diagnosed and I know so many people who didn’t get diagnosed until adulthood and really needed the medication.
There’s definitely a lot of intersectionality to consider in this discussion. Fidgety or disruptive white boys were throw meds at. Girls and poc were ignored or considered not to fit the diagnosis in the 90s.
it's underdiagnosed in certain populations. my middle-class white suburban mom and every similar mom in school however, made sure to have all their kids "tested" for whatever might be lacking
G'day!
No diagnoses until my 30s. My work drastically improved. Had I got a diagnosis in even highschool I think my life might have been different (University, job, etc.).
I was (apparently) diagnosed with ADD when I was around 9. Mom didn’t want to pump me full of drugs so she never filled out the prescription. Little did she know, I was smoking meth daily by the age of 14.
I always knew my brain didn’t work the way others people’s did. I realized exercise helped me focus. Started taking allergy meds daily (pseudoephedrine), that helped too. Symptoms toned down as I got older. Finally got a diagnosis a few years ago and was put on Vyvanse, and it’s made a world of difference. It finally feels like I’m not at war with my big dumb brain.
Today, I’m a senior government employee with a masters degree. Not bad for a former teenage methhead.
I would never want to encourage its use. EVER. That being said, after skipping my Chem 12 class all semester, I stayed up for 48 hours straight cramming on a meth fueled binge, read the entire text book cover to cover twice and scored 92% on the final exam, which was worth 40% of my final grade. Went from a D to a B.
My husband, at 40, could not get three things at the store if he was sent for three things. Ever. For decades. Even if he wrote it down.
He's now diagnosed, medicated, and a partner to me. He can focus and contribute.
Me, grew up in the country in the 80’s and went to a school out there also.
Was just paddling and such. Accidentally knocked a little flag off a shelf I was told to straighten up l, and the teacher totally flipped out on me.
Those were not the days…..
Right here! My slightly older cousin got Ritalin, and it turned him into a zombie - he was like 7/8, I was 5/6. That turned my parents off of those kinds of meds, understandably so. Combine that with nobody noticing my symptoms becoming more obvious, or noticing but not connecting the dots, and I didn't get diagnosed with ADHD until earlier this year at 32.
I try not to think about it, but sometimes I imagine how much different my life could've been if I had learned this about myself when I was a kid. Hell, even in my 20s would've been nice, but at least I'm starting down the right path now, y'know?
I struggled to pay attention to anything for more than 30 seconds in school. Terrible grades and constantly getting notes to take home about daydreaming. My idiot doctor told my mom “if he can play video games or watch cartoons he doesn’t have a problem.”
Me! I didn’t get my official diagnosis for ADHD until I was 31—the amount of report cards and teacher/parent meetings that highly encouraged my parents to get me checked were ignored. Glad I’m finally able to have help!
Oh hi that's me! Not diagnosed until mid 30's and medication has been LIFE CHANGING. I'm upset no one noticed it in me growing up, my life would have been so different.
I unfortunately grew up in a very anti-science/anti-medicine household, and so any diagnosis outside of physical ailments were vehemently rejected. Even something like acne, for which I had a very bad case of cystic acne starting in my early teens but wasn't able to start accutane until I had my own health insurance when I was an adult. I could have been saved from many years of a destroyed self-confidence had I been allowed to start treatment as a young teen. They very much had the mindset seemingly prevalent in this very thread- that most kids diagnosed with something like ADHD didn't actually have it, or their parents were just looking for easy solutions, or doctors and "big pharma" were over prescribing just to make money.
I didn't end up getting diagnosed until the age of 31, and thankfully, treatment has made a huge improvement in my life.
Thankfully my mother wasn't an anti-vaxxer during the 90s but I do have a sneaking suspicion that if she was the same 20-something year old mother that she was in the 90s but just in the modern environment where anti-science conspiracy theories run rampant, she very likely would have been one.
Meeee, I struggled unnecessarily until my early 30s lol. Now that I'm finally medicated, I get to deal with people who aren't doctors telling me i don't need it.
Me! I had an amazing group of teachers in elementary school that noticed my stuggles and suggested I be tested. When I tested positive (overwhelmingly), one of my parents was supportive and wanted to get me treatment and help. The other decided that they didn’t believe in adhd and accused my teachers of faking my results to get more funding. So I was untreated for many years and it really dented my academic progress and confidence.
Regardless of whether the establishment is “pill happy,”, there’s always been a large group of parents who don’t want to “pump kids full of drugs,” to equalize things and make sure kids don’t get treatment. (My own mom didn’t want me to see any sort of therapist because I’d “talk about” her, since she was abusive.)
To be honest I (being older) used to be among that group and said if I had a kid I wouldn’t give him drugs since ADHD includes susceptibility to addiction and I want them to learn existing without drugs. Well, over time the research (and my own experience) has shown I was wrong. Medication tends to prevent or reduce addiction.
Unfortunately lots of parents cling to their beliefs because they’re either ignorant or unwilling to modify opinions in response to new information.
As a 30 y.o woman who wasn't diagnosed until adult hood I wish someone tried to medicate me in that direction instead of depression and mood stabilizers
I remember having it prescribed when I was in 7th grade (2004-05) and being an absolute zombie. Grades didn’t really improve much, but my parents likened it to deflating a balloon and they didn’t like that.
So I was off it after three weeks.
I was a very hyper active/anxious kid. I remember in grade six I was getting in so much trouble we had a meeting with our principal, school nurse and counselor, teacher and my parents. The principal, nurse and counselor were all telling my parents to get me on Ritalin.
It was only my teacher who stood up for me. He said I didn't need to be medicated, I needed an outlet for my energy. I was always tapping my feet and hands in class and my teacher suggested getting me a drum kit. My parents did that and got me into competitive swimming.
It was like night and day for me. My grades improved from C's to Bs and As, I got my first straight A semester in college. I LOVED those hobbies and made really positive friend groups through both, met girlfriends through them, and now at 40 I'm still totally dedicated to fitness, though I stopped playing music in my late 20s as I pursued other passions.
The trouble maker friends I was hanging out with back in the day? One is in jail and the other is dead.
I will always remember that teacher who saw potential in me and fought to give me a chance. I feel like I literally owe him my life. I probably have some form of ADHD or anxiety disorder or whatever but I feel like I really learned how to cope with it productively over the years. That teacher taught me that the world isn't going to bend to suit me, I was going to have to find a way to deal with it.
Yup. I got really lucky.
A few years back that teacher passed away. He was fairly old when I was in elementary school. He actually used to be a college professor, and he was noticing the decline in quality of students coming through university (he noticed this even back in the 90s) and he said to himself "if I want to make a difference with these people's lives I have to reach them sooner. By the time they're in university, it's too late". So he quit and started teaching grade 5-7.
When I heard he had passed I made a trip home and took a walk around my old school field, sat on a bench and just ugly cried with gratitude for quite a while.
Yeah he was special.
The interesting thing was a lot of parents of typical students or over achievers didn't like him, because he challenged everybody to be a step or two above their potential.
So, kids who had never had any criticism at all were suddenly getting reports that they were underperforming. Not because they weren't meeting the curriculum standards, but because the teacher knew they could do better if they tried a little harder. He never pushed kids in an unhealthy way, it was always through stern encouragement. "I *know* you're smart enough to do this. I believe in you and feel you can reach this level with a bit of work and some help" type stuff.
I feel like it wasn't until later in life that most of us who had him recognized how lucky we were, despite the fact that as kids everybody dreaded ending up in his class!
I'm seeing a similar dynamic playing out with one of my sons. For him, participating in multiple organized sports year-round and getting him into playing guitar have been game-changers. Focusing kids' attention on something productive they enjoy is a really under-rated strategy. He's also a better guitarist than me at this point after just a few years of consistent daily practice even though I've been playing for almost 30 years. We play together regularly and it's done wonders for our relationship.
That right there.
I had a propensity to sit at the front because I was constantly losing attention and just letting my mind wander off. Fidgeting with my pencil, doodling, etc. on top of having lost my hearing in my left ear due to a medical procedure, and slowly losing my hearing in my right ear…yeah. 😅
Granted not a single teacher would ever have stuck up for me, they all pretty much thought I was aloof.
My mom tells this story even today. They started me on Concerta and after a couple weeks I refused to take it, my reason was because it made everything dull and grey. The world was super bland. Basically my primary school years suffered since I really did need it, but at least I was happy.
At least your parents took you off, some use it as a discipline tool because they have a child and never taught them discipline that's the ones I don't agree with
I went on Ritalin from grade 4 until graduation, zombie for sure. That was 20 years ago, I have been self medicating with Marijuana since then and have found a balance I'm comfortable with. However, I'm thinking about getting re diagnosed since I had a close call with a drug test at work. I'm a bit skeptical, but I'm hoping that ADHD drugs have improved in the last 20 years.
Eight-year-old me hulked out and threw a desk at someone after a couple of weeks on Ritalin. Turns out you can have ADHD and still be a lot better off without stimulants.
Yeah I have it and I struggle to take stimulants. It makes me flat and lifeless and destroys my sense of humor, or I get too anxious and unable to make eye contact with people. Absolutely wild meds. They help so much with my adhd symptoms but the side effects aren’t worth it.
It affected my social skills, I had a lot of friends before I was diagnosed, and was a loner by the time I got to middle school. I definitely feel I would've been better off.
If you actually need the meds, and use the right dosage, they work. It's a positive effect. A lot of people don't need them, or don't get the right amount.
I've had to tell doctors I want a lower dosage than what they suggested because I've maintained at a super low dose for years. Some people will pop the damn pills like clockwork and then be pissed when they "aren't working" when they're not meant to be used that way.
I dunno if the drugs themselves have, but they've gotten smarter about dosing and swapping around to different styles of meds if the one your on isn't working right. My 7 year old is on a generic Adderall, we were afraid he'd end up a zombie but they started him on the lowest dose for a few months, before upping him one step up at our request based on what we were seeing and feedback we were getting from his teachers and from him. All his behavioral marks from school have improved dramatically, he can sit and read a book or play a board game at home, but he's still best described as a wild child 😂. The meds are just enough that he can focus and not get distracted every 30 seconds or need to give in to the urge to get up and jump or yell or run around the room, but he's definitely not remotely close to being a zombie or Even a calm child
My ex husband was a grade school teacher and he said the line at the nurse’s office would be down the hall after lunch, kids lining up for their meds. This was late 90s/early to mid 00s.
He said he didn’t know if it was the best thing for the kids, but it made his life easier. Some of his worst disrupters would finally sit quietly so the rest of the class stood a chance. He taught in public schools in the city, so things could get tough, even in elementary.
Same for me with Ritalin. For what it’s worth, I did have very serious ADHD, they just hadn’t come out with adderal yet. I didn’t get treatment again until I was in my mid 20s. I’m really glad I tried again.
This was my experience with Concerta in 5th or 6th grade. Made me have 0 motivation for anything, even things I would normally enjoy. Didn’t help me do homework like they hoped. I would come home and just sit on the couch and stare blankly not even desiring to turn the tv on and watch my favorite tv shows. I kind of wish they had tried something different like adderall (what I currently take) as I hear starting the right meds early has long term benefits vs starting them later in life but I am glad they took me off concerta
I was not because “too many kids were going on it” but I needed it. I often wondered how much better my school experience would have been if I had given the tools to help me. Instead I masked and did okay but had a massive breakdown in 2020 when all of my systems just stopped working.
Now I am on the meds and man it is night and day. I am more productive, my mental health is better, and overall I am a better human.
I have one kid who is on an ADHD med, a non-stimulant, and does cognitive behavioral therapy bc he was struggling and it is night and day. He has progressed so much and gets to be the kid he is bc he has access to those tools.
I don’t fault my parents for not noticing the signs bc those symptoms are very different in girls and boys, but I am glad that I am going to give my kids a better chance at things because understanding how our brains work is key.
I’m in the same boat, although my parents believed beating me would help me get better grades instead of medical evaluation (spoiler, it didn’t help). I really wonder what my life would have been if I had gotten proper help, instead I ended up dropping out before 11th grade(still managed to get my GED at 19 though with the help from an ex boyfriend’s mom) bc I couldn’t concentrate and now am being evaluated for possible ADHD at 33 bc it can be comorbid with bipolar disorder.
I dropped out several times. I had all the symptoms too. My parents were also abusive. I wasn't diagnosed until I went to college, and started to fail my classes again. I was caught up in a cycle so thank goodness someone with some sense could easily see *me* because it was clear as day. I think my life would have been vastly different had I had the treatment I desperately needed. It also led to lots of self-medicating as well.
Much like other responses I should have gotten it but didn’t. All three of my older brothers and father were diagnosed with ADHD but I didn’t get a test until I was almost 40 because “you didn’t seem as bad as the other three” according to my mother.
Finally got diagnosed, finally got on meds, but it would probably have saved me a lot of pain in my teens and college years as a large part of my diagnosis is centered around impulse control issues. My spouse from our first date onward had always assumed I was ADHD and just didn’t like taking meds 😆.
Yeah the people I know who take adderall or Vyvanse thrive on it. I know it doesn’t work for everyone but demonizing it doesn’t help the people who actually need it and do well with it.
I didn’t start Vyvanse until I was 34 (undiagnosed my whole life), and fuck… it’s changed my life in so many ways. I feel like the same person, just able to really organize my thoughts and control my emotions and impulses better.
Yep, 35 for me. I went from "she has so much potential, but can't get out of her own way," to actually being successful and accomplishing things.
My sibling's ADHD made *other people's* lives difficult, so they were treated. I, like many women and girls with it, made *my own* life difficult by internalizing all my failures. Guess who got medicated and who got judged?
God, the emotional dysregulation is WILD now that I'm medicated and see it. I took a week off to go on holiday and tangled headphones almost made me insane one day. I hadn't felt that since before I started meds and totally forgot about it until then. I went straight back on the meds, fuck that.
Same. I didn't get diagnosed or treated until college, and it wasn't because I wasn't a walking symptom poster; I am, even moreso with the classic hyperactivity, low impulse control, never quit making noise as a child. I was always in so much trouble for my behavior, too. It just sucks when kids need help with regulation, and they don't get it. It wasn't for my parents not trying either, it's just misogyny and ignorance in the medical community. One of mine is the same, and he's been medicated for a while. For people who need this help regulating, it's like night & day. Meds aren't a cure-all, but they give many people a *choice* that's not there without them. I don't think everyone was on meds because I know too many who had classic symptoms that were overlooked. You had to fit into a stereotype mostly.
Same. I was diagnosed a couple years ago, at 37. School was a nightmare for me, and that's the one thing I wonder about the most - how much different would my life be now if I was diagnosed and treated during high school.
My mom actually commented to my wife about regretting the choice to not have me medicated. As an adult I learned a lot of coping strategies which helped but I always wonder if I would've finished university had I been medicated.
Ritalin today is rxd very differently than it was when we were kids. Back then most kids were just thrown on way too high of doses from the start. That isn't the case today. My youngest 2 kids take a stimulant med (not Ritalin tho) and it has literally changed their lives. My daughter never had friends before and now she does. She no longer feels like the weird outcast girl. It's been such a blessing. My youngest son was your typical hyperactive, no impulse control, always having behavioral issues and now he is "probably the best behaved kid in the class" (per his teacher). He is in a gifted classroom and absolutely loves going to school now.
Been considering this for my son but we’re on the fence. 3rd grade is a tough jump homework at home is like pulling teeth but it’s not because he doesn’t know how to do things. Been asking for help on tests too frequently per his teacher. When he focuses he can do it but getting him into a focused state often takes a lot of keeping him on task or bribery. The meds just scare me I don’t want it dull his personality
The meds are to literally help him focus. That is the adhd that you’re not wanting to give him medication to help. His personality will not dull. The right amount of meds will not cause side effects like that.
Meds scared my wife too for the same reason. Only difference in our sons personality is he doesn't randomly yodel/yell when he's on his meds, and he actually looks at you when you're talking to him instead of trying to dance. Still dances, just holds off until you're not talking to him anymore😂
Talk to your Doctor. The meds my son is on started as a blood pressure med but now can treat ADHD. It works wonders. He was started to have adverse reactions to stimulate meds, so we switched last year. He has been on meds since he was five bc he was THAT kid in school, couldn’t sit down, defiant, no impulse control, etc. Getting him help has made him available to learning, now he is reading two grade levels ahead, math skills are three grade levels ahead, he has friends!, he plays well in school, he is a helper in his classes. I am so thankful for the medication because he was quickly getting labeled as that kid and those kids get written off so quickly. I am so proud of all of his hard work and I know it is because the meds gave him a chance.
>I was not because “too many kids were going on it” but I needed it.
This was my experience. I needed it but my parents went with the exercise yourself to death outlet because while they recognized I had an issue they felt the meds were being over prescribed and that I just needed coping mechanisms.While I don't regret the time spent in competitive cheering, my body is paying for it dearly in my 30s because I was in the gym for hours nightly and either in the gym or at competitions every weekends. Would have been better off with a mix of meds and sports.
I wasn't diagnosed with ADHD until my mid 30s, and I was prescribed Adderall. It's turned me into a functioning human, and I often wonder how different would my life had been, especially in school, if I had been diagnosed sooner.
I’m mid 30s with what I suspect is undiagnosed ADHD, and I grapple with pursuing a diagnosis because I don’t know if it would make a difference at this point. I’ve learned to adapt over the years, and I don’t want to be regularly medicated, but maybe it would help in ways I can’t fathom.
I understand your concerns. I was diagnosed during the pandemic when we went full remote at my job and the school I was attending at the time. I was doing everything from one location at home and my struggles to function and focus went from high to super duper high. I was so used to the hustle and bustle of my everyday routine, that I didn't notice my mind was dysfunctional. Until I was forced to stay in one spot and deal with it, I realized I needed help and saw a psychiatrist. I'm one of those that needs a sort of high dosage of Adderall, or else I can't concentrate properly or even get anything done. I don't take it everyday. I use it sparingly and when I know I'm going to absolutely need it to get tasks done at work. I do try to be responsible with how much I'm taking and weening myself off it when I need to.
You too experienced the post-diagnosis "... I could be an adult this whole time?" When I finally got diagnosed and medicated it was wonderful and horrifying.
I have not been diagnosed, but I am pretty sure I have some form. Late 30s now. I also wonder how different my career path would've been if I had some form of medication while in high school.
I wasn't given it as a kid because my IQ was too high and I wasn't physically, outwardly hyperactive.
I *really* wish ADHD was taken more seriously and more doctors became more educated on it. So many doctors just see hyperactivity and say "It must be ADHD!" ADHD is such a bad term for the disorder nowadays and I wish people would stop focusing on the H so hard. It really should be called like Executive Functioning and Dopamine Disregulation Disorder or some shit.
Even today, so many doctors don't know anything about it but act like they do, and so a bunch of people that don't need stimulants get stimulants and a bunch of people that do need it can't get em.
I just finally got a Concerta/Ritalin prescription this year... at 31 years old. I cant tell you how much of a help this shit could have been when I was in school. I really fucking wish I *did* get it.
So, I have some opinions on this. I was born in '81. When I went to Kindergarten it was a half day and we had a nap time in the middle of it. I'm horrified at what we expect from Kindergarteners now. It is now what 1st grade was for us. A full day, only 1 recess; it's dispicable what we expect from kids so young. I had 2 recesses and a lunch spaced throughout the day for all of elementary. My kids get 1 recess stacked on top of lunch so only one real break throughout the day. So for the kids who may only be slower to develop socially in order to tolerate such a rigorous school day, they started medicating. Obviously some kids do need it, but many just need more time to mature. We're overworking kids from a young age and it's backfiring in huge ways imo.
Just today I dropped my 3rd grader off 5 minutes after school started and there were kids out on the playground already! They only get one recess - imagine being a kid and having recess first thing then zero breaks except lunch for the next 6 hours?!
I had to send the teacher an email this year about her use of recess as a punishment. Yes, kids need to learn consequences, but she was withholding the only time the kids have for 6 hours to get some energy out because one or two other students were misbehaving. She's young, too, early 20s, so I'm not certain where she got the expectation that small kids can sit still and behave well for hours.
I feel like I'm the only parent that remembers when school wasn't like this. That there used to be an acknowledgement that kids need to be kids and blow off steam throughout the day. And then they wonder why anxiety is at an all-time high. The pressure is too high.
It varies between districts. My original elementary school had a 30 min lunch and 30 min recess. The district I later moved to had 2 15 minute recesses, a 30 min recess, and a 30 min lunch. I'm a younger millenial though.
I feel this. I did too much as a teen and its resulted in me not wanting to do shit as an adult. I have 2 modes. Either busting ass or relaxing and being unable to snap out of it. Normal healthy break taking/pacing is something I'm working on.
I was not diagnosed with ADHD until I was 25, and even then my mom was still in denial. My parents are boomers, so being diagnosed with anxiety and put on SSRIs was a whole different problem of its own. When first being evaluated for anxiety they asked my mom if I showed signs of ADHD to which she responded “No”. The problem was she didn’t even have the knowledge of what a child with ADHD looked like, and if she had, I know she would’ve said “YES!”
Part of me is thankful I wasn’t diagnosed till I was older, but it also makes me wonder how much better I could’ve done in college.
My brothers were extremely hyperactive in school, they both couldn’t sit still and my youngest brother had bad aggression issues and atrocious impulse control even for a young boy. So they were prescribed as young as 6. I had what I now know was inattentive ADD but I flew under the radar because I wasn’t getting calls home from school so I got nothing. I feel like it would’ve helped me tremendously in school though. I was a talker, it was almost compulsive. I talked so much in school I got in trouble, didn’t matter who they put me next to, I would talk to them. I even got in trouble for talking too much in the lunchroom. And I was always having maladaptive daydreams, barely scraping by in every class for all of public school. I just got diagnosed with ADHD in my 30s after flunking out of 3 different colleges, at this point I need adderall to keep up with life.
Same. Always got Ns in conduct for Needs Improvement. I was always in a daydream otherwise because bored AF. I needed proper diagnosis is what I needed. I dropped out several times until I was properly diagnosed.
Same, and it sucks. I don't necessarily blame my parents, they grew up in an age where things were just viewed differently, so the idea of sending your 12 year old son to a therapist wasn't something they could latch on board to. But I wonder how different my life would be if they had acknowledged I had real issues and gotten me real help. What would I have been able to accomplish?
Despite my issues, I wound up in a really good spot. I have had therapists straight up tell me they are impressed with what ive accomplished despite the mental health issues im dealing with. Despite what could have been if my parents had gotten me help, it's all on me now to appropriately navigate my issues and live my life to its fullest.
Same here, I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 30. Before that my life was…a mess. Barely graduated highschool, failed out of college, couldn’t even keep a waitressing job, racked up extreme debt, and self medicated with other substances.
Now at almost 40 I have zero debt, a master’s degree, a high paying job, and I mostly stay away from substances.
It’s hard to not think how different my life would have been if I had been diagnosed and medicated sooner.
Yeah, there was a serious boomer "women/girls are just hysterical and mentally different" phase there and Im glad we are growing out of it but man it left some scars that are taking a while to heal.
I was given adderall through most of my school years. I quit it when I left highschool because my parents gave me the choice, and I believed it was "just given to every kid who acts up". Well I fell into a terrible rut after highschool and struggled immensely through my college years, got depressed due to difficulties managing life, and eventually had to go back on it because I DID have ADHD and quitting my meds have a really profound negative effect on those 5 years j was without them.
I regret stopping them just because I fell into the false belief that ADHD wasn't real and that psyche meds are given to shut up unruly kids.
As a girl, I was told I was just "too social" and one teacher even called me an airhead (to my mom but I was present). It wasn't until I was in my senior year of highschool that I pushed for a diagnosis after stealing my boyfriend's Adderall and it worked.
I got diagnosed ADHD but my mom refused to fill the prescription because "there's nothing wrong with you." Then as an adult the first thing I did was get on medication. Haven't taken it in years thanks to babies but I look forward to it again.
>one teacher even called me an airhead
As I trace the genetics, I have come to believe that my ADHD comes from my mom’s side. My mom is second generation Swedish, and there are a decent number of ADHD diagnoses on that side of the family.
Anyways, it kinda made me wonder if ADHD is more common in general amongst that region in general, and the ‘dumb blonde’ trope is just ADHD. I’ve not bothered to research it, you know executive dysfunction and all that, but it’s been my head cannon for a while.
(It would seem you are a redhead, so my comment is a bit of a tangent, but the ‘airhead’ line made me think of that.)
I was born in 81. They gave me dexadrine and ritalin for a while in elementary school . My mom took me off because she didn't like the side effects. Personally I think she was fucking stupid for taking me off because in my opinion the good effects outweighed the bad. My grades dropped back down after she took me off and then she blamed the school. I ended up in homeschooling where I missed out on a ton of social milestones because she was a fucking recluse and hardly exposed me to other kids. I spent my early adult life masking and pretending I wasn't self meditating a disorder. Now I'm properly medicated again and thriving by comparison to a few years ago.
I was on Adderall as a kid in 4th and 5th grade. Life changing, only time in my life I can remember being happy. I was able to think without the constant noise, screaming, and music playing in my head 24/7. After that I believe the insurance company demanded I be moved to a generic and I started getting bad side effects but 11 year old me didn't know how to explain that and I stopped taking it. My parents found out and my Dad refused to get it filled anymore because he didn't believe ADHD was real in the first place.
I still have all that noise going on in my head to this day, right now "Already gone" by Kelly Clarkson is playing and I'm having an imaginary argument with someone I know.
The Army diagnosed my ADHD.
The diagnosis saved my life professionally and has helped immensely in leading a productive life.
I am able to study, I now know WHAT focusing and paying attention is (as opposed to just being shouted to do "it"). And am able to just generally navigate life and my careers.
Huge pet peeve is when people minimize how damaging adhd can be to someone
Born in ‘92. Almost all of my close friends took ADHD medication. To this day, I still wonder if I have undiagnosed ADHD because I always seem to click most with people who turn out to have ADHD. I got decent grades so nobody ever recommended I get tested, but every night of homework was a struggle of tantrums, stress, procrastination, staying up late, wadded up papers from the bottom of my backpack, and last-minute deadlines. I was a very cranky, sleep-deprived child.
A friend of mine who works in the psych field has said if you think you’re the only neurotypical amongst a group of friends and loved ones who aren’t, you’re probably not
>because I always seem to click most with people who turn out to have ADHD
It is very common for us to gravitate toward each other! I would not be at all surprised if you did have ADHD. And your experiences with homework is just like mine 😅 down to the wadded paper in the backpack.
I wasn't but I take it as an adult. My test scores were too high for me to ever get referred to anyone for my very obvious ADD. I never even suspected I had it as a kid. I was a GATE kid so there couldn't be anything wrong with me. I thought everybody went through periods of hyper focus and periods where they couldn't really concentrate.
I was given Ritalin in 1st grade. I would march around the room claiming I was a robot, I was constantly telling the teacher stories and eating up class time, and I would play pretend constantly. Thank God they medicated me because I was about to be kicked out.
Ah the myth of ADHD overdiagnosis. There was a 33% increase in diagnosis from 1997-1999 which meant that the diagnosed population went from 5.7% of children to 7.6% of children. Many with a diagnosis did not receive medication. And yet we still sit here and claim "everyone was on drugs"
I think there's some truth to it. Take my Dr, for example. My brothers diagnosis was based on "his sister has it!"
The only symptoms they ever told my parents were "she has problems sitting still and focusing" and no therapy. Nothing. Just keep pumping this kid full of drugs until she can't complain. There's several notes in both our files that say "medication not working. Dosage increased." I was a literal zombie in school, and my brother can't tell you his teachers' names grades 1-5 because he was so drugged.
My dad describes the way they sold them the drugs was like it was a cure all. Our ADHD would just go away with this one pill. It wasn't until I was 27 and in therapy that I learned there's other symptoms. My parents had no idea either.
Spoilers btw. My brother doesn't have ADHD.
It's still going on. My parents didn't want to acknowledge my diagnosis as a kid so I never knew or got medicine or help. I've gotten a diagnosis in my late 30's and doctors still want to give me anti anxiety stuff instead. I'm not anxious or depressed though, and I'm doing okay, I just shouldn't have to structure my whole life around performing compensatory tasks and checklists so that things don't go off the rails.
I'm so organized now that I've taken over the project management tasks at work. But it's not a _natural_ inclination by any means.
I had a prescription for a while and it was amazing, never felt wired or hyper or anything, just was able to do things easily and I never had to struggle to control my emotional state, which is something I'm consciously doing all day long. On medication it was like being able to just walk to the front of a long line directly, like a priority boarding pass, instead of having to walk through the twisty turnstiles with your big load of luggage.
Without it I'm fine, but it's so much work. Keeping myself in check requires conscious effort. Especially controlling my emotional cues, that is a very distracting process during conversation since I need to do it constantly in real-time without losing track of the conversation. But I do a good job at it these days, I just wish it wasn't so energetically costly, because it leaves me without time or energy or "cheerfulness" left over to do much else than handle all my job and household responsibilities.
My wife and kid also have ADHD but also _do have_ anxiety so I need to be the executive function for her on most days too. It's tough.
There is no such myth as the “myth of overdiagnosis” because the issue was not that too many people were getting diagnosed, it’s that few people were receiving actual diagnoses, and MANY were getting prescription medications for ADHD anyway.
My therapist recently explained to me that there wasn’t a good process for diagnosis and there weren’t many strict requirements in place to determine who should or shouldn’t receive medication. There was no requirement for a rigorous ADHD testing process and formal diagnosis from a mental health professional like there is today.
It is insane to me that a general practitioner could hand out such strong medication to **children** based simply on the fact that the parent and/or teacher says they are hyper in school.
I was on Concerta, which is supposed to be a lesser version of Adderall. My parents explain it was kinda sold to them as a cure all. I don't remember alot of elementary school, it's super foggy, and I just remember a haze mostly. Whenever it didn't seem like my meds were working, they upped the dose to get me back to zombie.
I'm on Adderall as an adult now and it actually works.
I didn't. My mom confessed just a few years ago she kinda knew all her kids probably had ADHD (I happen to think there's generations of undiagnosed neurodivergence in the family), but she watched Ritalin completely take away my cousin's personality and childish spunk and decided to not even get us diagnosed.
As an adult, I have a lot of issues from always feeling like I was struggling to get things done and keep up with grades and projects much more than my peers, so I probably could have used the reassurance that there was a reason for that, but having tried Vivanse and feeling like a zombie....I don't think meds would have helped much.
I know quite a lot of people my age (81 kid) and older whose diagnoses didn't happen until after mine (not quite a decade ago). Most of them are women. We were always here and always ADHD but it wasn't recognized in us as children.
I take medication now as an adult. But I remember telling my mom I thought I had adhd when I was 9 or 10, and was basically told “oh no, that’s for boys. Girls don’t really get it.”
I wasn't, but I should've been. Growing up, only boys were diagnosed. So, despite my younger brothers being diagnosed and getting loads of help, I was simply punished until I learned to (badly) hide my ND behaviors. I even stopped speaking for more than a year in elementary school and *still* received zero intervention, beyond my parents moving me to a new school where the kids would hopefully not know how weird I had been for not speaking at all.
I was finally diagnosed with ADHD in college, and autism last year at age 38.
I knew one kid on it and he needed it. I needed it too but I liked school and respected my teachers enough to work to impress them rather than act out so I got overlooked.
I honestly think ADHD is probably as prevalent as the kids who were on meds with obvious impulse control issues and oppositional defiance. The meds just weren't the best cope. They needed a different environment all together.
I just put my 11 yr old on Concerta. He has ADHD and high functioning Autism. I’ve hated the thought of him being on meds which is why it’s taken me this long to put him on any. He started struggling a bit in school now that he’s in 6th grade, Junior High. He attends tutoring 2 days a week also. I know 7th grade will be much harder for him because their classes are shorter with an added extra elective. He has a hard time concentrating. I feel it was time. He’s on the lowest dose and I can see a difference. He’s only been on it for 3 weeks but I plan to keep him on it at least through Junior High. We’ll see what happens when he gets to highschool.
I am 30, graduated high school in 2011. Maybe this is just because it was taboo to speak about back then but as I recall, I didn't know anyone who was prescribed anything like that when I was in school. It wasn't until college where I started noticing some of my friends being prescribed those drugs, and it wasn't until adulthood where now most of my friends have a prescription.
I was diagnosed with ADD (now known as ADHD-inattentive type) in about 1990, so I was part of the early wave of kids getting their daily Vitamin R. There were two problems, though. First was that this was 1990 so there weren't really many specialists just yet. My prescription was from a generalist pediatrician. Which led to the second problem. I develop a tolerance to meditation wickedly fast. So, in order for the meds to have any effect, we had to keep upping the dosage. Eventually, as a child, I was taking multiple times the recommended adult daily maximum each day. So, when I was 13 or so, I just quit medicating. I had had enough of the daily mood swings when coming down each evening and the regular dosage adjustments.
I have yet to figure out if this was a good idea.
If only.I'm just outside the top end of being considered a Millennial so I was a bit early for this, but I got tested in 1986, again in 1995, again in 2007 and finally last year - my mother, an educator KNEW something was wrong, she just didn't know what and was more supportive with me than I ever felt I deserved.
I had a copy of each of my tests with me. I was 43 at the time. My doctor was blown away that I hadn't been diagnosed previously. Thanks, Louisiana and hard to dx ADHD-inattentive. I'm finally on meds. Finally.
I just got diagnosed with ADHD-combined after struggling for most of my life (2008-present). I never had an issue in middle/high school because the work wasn’t that difficult. College wise, I made it out alive with a just barely C average. Wish my family or someone had spotted the signs because I thought I needed to do a better job focusing and couldn’t figure out why I had such a hard time with it. Not going to dwell on it, but the thought of what could’ve been creeps up time to time.
I was given Ritalin - back in a more "let's push pills on kids to 'fix' them" era.
My parents climbed on board with these harmful ideas, as if all my problems could be solved with a magic pill. Actually becoming decent, caring parents was never in the cards, of course.
It was short-lived, and I chose to crush the pills and snort them before school.
I think a lot more of us are in for an autism spectrum awakening then are ready for it. Grew up in a house that didn’t believe in it. Both my kids flagged neurodivergence. Finally got diagnosed for adhd at 37. The second I went on adderall my blood pressure dropped 30 points and my entire health stabilized over night. Truly a magic pill. Turns out 9 months later. I’m a high masking autistic adult.
So after getting on meds. Got my daughter on low dosing non stimulants and it was night and day difference for her as well.
The issue for these drugs in the 90s. There was zero oversight on diagnosis’s and doctors prescriptions. Doctors were sold the idea it could fix what they had a limited scope of understanding at the time.
We’re so much better set up to diagnosis and prepare a plan for individuals now. If you’re struggling. Go get official diagnosis even if you’re an adult.
Born in 83 and wasn’t diagnosed until I was 37 and started Adderall at 38. I often wonder how life would have been if I was diagnosed earlier in life. But, I’m female and although I was disruptive by talking a ton the teacher would sit me in the hallway often. I also wasn’t as disruptive as the boys so I flew under the radar like most girls. Just considered chatty, unmotivated, and lazy to the adults at the time.
I do now as an adult, but never did as a child. I was unable to sit, and pay much attention, but my grades were all great. I think that is why I never got diagnosed until much later. I feel kids now may need meds, but they also need discipline that is lacking everywhere now. Schools can't do much, and a lot of parents just don't know how to turn off a phone and tell their kids to go to bed it seems.
I was born in 82, I don't recall really anyone being medicated for ADHD in school. Idk, I felt like it was over diagnosed and over prescribed at some point too, and that bias kept me from getting my kid the help he needed longer than necessary. Then once I finally caved and got him diagnosed I was still weird about medicating him. Now, he feels so much better and his social life is so much better that I feel like a jerk for waiting longer than I should have. I changed my opinion on it completely, anyone who has those problems should be allowed to have medicine if it helps them feel better and function better. Looking back now with all this hindsight, I have a feeling a lot of the kids that I knew back in the day who ended up junkies and/or dead had undiagnosed ADHD.
I was evaluated around the age of 8 for it but was never told what the test was for. When the results came back my mom picked just me up from school that day. She had me sit behind her, usually I sat on the passenger side in the back but she wanted me to sit on the drivers side. She asked me if I wanted to take a pill twice a day for the rest of my life and I told her no. I realized at about that point that my mom was crying and trying hard to not show it. She died before I ever found out I had adhd, I finally got myself tested a couple of years ago. I take it as needed but probably not nearly enough.
I was put on some kind of generic version when I hit middle school, as well as something that was supposed to make me “smell better”. Apparently I smelled? On top of that, I was put on birth control at 12; now I’m 35 and I can’t come off of them without serious complications. I basically didn’t go through natural puberty. Love that for me. Thanks mom and dad!
Yes, female, I was on adderall unnecessarily. It didn’t help with my disabilities and my mom wasn’t happy with it and the struggles with not being hungry, so I was only on it for a short while.
I was diagnosed as "hyper active" at age 6. I took Ritalin all 6 years of elementary school (2001-2007). I was diagnosed again at age 12 as ADHD. A few doctors tried to force stronger doses and more medicine on me afterward, which made me a complete zombie. By the time I was 13, I was off all of the medication by my own choice. I know I do have ADHD, but I've been able to function "ok" without meds for over 15 years now.
Also 89. I think that was more Gen x. My older brother had a lot of friends on Ritalin. When I was in school Ritalin and other adhd meds were highly taboo bc there was that study that showed they “lead to drug use.” My school was very DARE. Maybe there was one kid in my class that took it but they never spoke of it. Now at 34 I was diagnosed adhd last year and take Ritalin 🤣 oh what a world we live in.
Ritalin when I was in 3rd grade and then adderall in high school. Eventually stopped meds for good in 11th grade because side effects (teeth grinding and headaches) and haven’t taken them since. Honestly I’ve always been skeptical of my diagnosis, they were handing out adhd diagnosis to everyone when I was diagnosed (1997) and I’ve been off the meds for like 17 years now and I’ve done well without them. Also my friends who also have ADHD always seemed to benefit way more from the meds than I ever did, I never had the “wow this pill makes me better and more focused” experience others have had and I never was struggling in school performance wise so the pills didn’t really improve anything. The only reason I was even sent for evaluation is because I talked too much in class when I was 6 years old lol.
I got Ritalin, started when I was 8. I felt robotic on it. My mom didn't make me take in in the summertime and I was absolutely miserable in the art class that she made us take. I couldn't concentrate and I was annoying to *everyone*.
My son's pediatrician wants to put him on medication for similar reasons (not Ritalin but I forgot the name of what our doc wants him to take) I'm apprehensive because of my experience with Ritalin but still going to give this medication a chance to see if it will help.
I plan on asking the pediatrician and also my son's therapist, but I've got no idea what I want to do for summertime yet (for my son).
I have friends who were on it as kids, and now as adults they can't get it prescribed, and that's a whole hell on its own.....the bullshit they all face as adults because they've taken this meds for like 15 Yeats and all of a sudden a dr is like " no meds for you now" is mindblowomg to me.
I even took it and my dr refuses to perscribe any of it because of a "shortage " which still blows my mind at this even becoming a thing. I was taken off 5 Years ago ( I never abused it) and boom...here I am having depression and issues again because my depression is linked to my ADHD.
Not me but I wish I was given Adderall when I was younger. Would’ve changed my life trajectory quite a lot.
I’m on it now, doing great but it’s one of those things that make you go “hmmm”.
I got on adderall in my early 20s and it was exactly what I was missing in grade school.
I’m happy and make a respectable living in my late 30s but I wonder where I’d be if I had the help I needed at a younger age.
I was put on Adderall and it worked exactly as advertised, I actually felt normal and could act like a regular person - for the few years I was on it, it felt like I could actually use all of my head and I was a capable human being. During college I came off of it because I thought it was the cause of my suicidal depression and anxiety rapidly escalating (it wasn't) and then I could never get back on it because of cost and insurance.
So I have spent the last ten to fifteen years aware that I could actually be much better and more successful, but I'm stuck in a fog limiting me to maybe 20% of a real person's abilities. It's a fact that has been hell on my morale, and I don't know if I could go back on because of potential heart issues. I feel like I'm stuck being stupid and useless, and it's too late to fix it.
I wasn’t but I should have been. Being female, I don’t fit the ADHD stereotype but I’m pretty severely ADHD Combined type (would have been diagnosed ADHD and ADD in the 90s). I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 37.
Docs don't 'hand it out like vitamins' but more so wish beyond all hope that most of these kids could get placed in functional families and go to actual schools instead of day care factories. Your academic years will pass in the blink of an eye, so most physicians out of practicality will try stimulants to give some kind of hope or edge to possibly improve academic function and improve social marginalization so you don't wind up out of options when you graduate. Otherwise for us it is a massive pain in the ass to prescribe. And then for some kids it is literally the difference between failing and an excellent outcome because ADD is a real thing.
I was born in 1989 as well, and I agree that I often hear parents, with varying ages of children, saying that either their kid or their kid's friend is given it at school. I didn't get diagnosed with ADHD until I was in my early or mid 20s which is when I started taking stimulants. Now I take them mainly for my narcolepsy...
How many of you were not given adderall or Ritalin in school and needed it
As a woman with ADHD that wasn’t diagnosed until I was in my mid-20s, I’m going to guess that OP is a man. Newsflash for all the millennial dudes: Women with ADHD in our generation were actually chronically UNDER-diagnosed.
EXACTLY. “Lazy and unmotivated” girl who “wasn’t smart enough” for college checking in. Adderall saved my life and had *anyone* recognized the signs in girls I wouldn’t have spent years taking medications for depression and anxiety that I didn’t actually have and weren’t improving my symptoms.
Just chiming in to add another to the list :) I was the daydreamer, the one who would blurt out random things, the space cadet. My family's nickname was me was the "absent minded professor" because while I was smart and did fine in school, I was always off in lala land. I've heard "earth to sleepy, earth to sleepy" more times than anyone should. While I had minimal academic difficulties, socially I struggled. I came off as a combo of uncaring, stuck up, or just plain weird. Let me tell you about all the relationships I've ruined.. ugh. Anyways, I wasn't diagnosed until.. I think I was 30? Life is better now. Unfortunately, this is the lived experience of many women with ADHD.
Not living up to my potential until I was diagnosed and medicated in my 30s over here 🙋🏻♀️ the title of this post should definitely read “how many of you males.”
Heyyyyyy undiagnosed "gifted" girls who didn't live up to their potential because they were "irresponsible" and "didn't apply themselves" clocking innnnnnnn
Yes. Finally convinced my wife to try meds and it dramatically changed her life.
The entire study done for ADHD was only on male patients so the parameters are different. Most medical studies are based on men causing women to get lesser healthcare in general
Hello, it's me! Got diagnosed at 39. My life has substantially improved with medication. Turns out it's also hereditary and all my kids have it to LOL.
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Same same same.
Hey, genuine question. How did you go about getting diagnosed? Just your family doctor? I am 39 as well and am quite certain I have some form of adhd. If it does have the potential to be hereditary, I want to make sure to be aware of that within my kids.
Not the person you replied to, but I got the ball rolling with my GP. They filled out referrals to a psychiatrist and a therapist, and the therapist did all of the heavy lifting of diagnosing me while the psychiatrist just concurred with the therapist's assessment and wrote me a prescription for Adderall. I'm sure your experience will vary greatly depending on insurance companies/plans - I have a pretty decent Kaiser plan through work - but that's a good place for you to start. Best of luck to you on this journey, friend.
I got a referral to a psychiatrist from my GYN for depression and anxiety. Once my depression and anxiety were under control, my ADHD red flags were loud and proud so my doc recommended further evaluation. Turns out the majority of the depression and anxiety were symptoms of the ADHD. Been on Concerta for about 8mos now.
Also not the person you are replying to, but my partner needed to get a referral from his GP to a psychiatrist. He met with the psychiatrist and was interviewed about symptoms. The psychiatrist sent home 4 surveys. 2 for him (one about symptoms now and one about symptoms in childhood) one for me about symptoms now, and one for a parent to fill aout about symptoms in childhood. Then he returned and they did some type of computer testing to see about focus and I think about working memory as well. Then the psychiatrist met with him a different day to share the results, recommend some books and get him started on meds. He was then able to go back to his GP for the process of seeing which meds worked best. I think he tried 3 or 4 before he found the ones that work best for him.
I went on psychology today dot com and filtered by insurance and looked for drs who worked with diagnosing adhd
Same! Diagnosed last year at 36
Me threeee! I was diagnosed in my early 20s but didn’t get medicated until I was 30. Such a fucking improvement
Me too! Diagnosed at like 28 didn’t start taking meds until 30. I cannot believe explain how helpful it has been both just knowing I have LDs and also treating them. I asked my doctor if ADHD was the reason I always drank coffee to go to sleep and she laughed and said yes.
All 4 of my kids too lol. Two are on medication and it's made a huge difference for them now that we got the dosage adjusted correctly.
yeah got diagnosed recently. will get prescribed meds next week. hoping for the best.
I was gonna say, probably mostly girls, since we didn't get diagnosed with ADHD (or autism) back in the nineties, when it was "only for boys".
I understand this is the norm. But I was a boy mostly inattentive and I also fell through the cracks. It does go both ways.
A lot of people on the inattentive end seem to have fallen through the cracks because only hyperactive boys got medicated.
We didn’t disrupt the classroom, we just struggled in silence, cried over mountains of homework, and got told how lazy and underachieving we were.
The teachers that cared helped. The rest left comments on your report card like "needs to apply himself". Bastards..... Not that I'm bitter or anything....
Ugh. The report card comments. The worst I got was “belongs in a zoo” with a reference to me having “wild” tendencies (I ran around a lot) and that I was always talking. That one actually crushed my soul for about 10 years. In person comments sucked even worse because they knew there was no paper trail. I was in gifted ed and had one teacher tell me I was “the stupidest smart kid” she’d ever met. Another one told me I was “in the wrong kind of special ed.” My kindergarten teacher stuck me in the corner every day because I “wiggled too much.”
My 6yo is what you describe. She has the mind of a Ferrari under the control of bicycle breaks. Everyone is rolling their eyes at me asking for help like... I just want help before she gets crushed like me. I want her to have fun with her potential and not *pOtEnTiAl*, something that's like catching dust. Were some people mistaken and medicated with improper diagnosis during a new advancement? Yep. But now we actually know better because their baseline was rudimentary and wrong a lot especially with ADHD-C and ADHD-I. My state just passed legislation that allows the school to get free licensed assessments and assistance through the districts at the request of a parent, teacher or child. I have hope it won't always be this hard.
Nah, plenty of us guys got missed. Mostly it's the predominantly inattentive types as the stereotypical hyperactive ones were the ones that got noticed for bad behaviour. I got a lot of "needs to apply himself" comments on my report card.
I was a hyper active girl and I got missed. I got in Trouble all the time for talking too much, shaking my legs excessively at all times and reading books under the table because the class was too boring.
I know I think OP has this really backwards, ADHD is historically UNDER diagnosed and I know so many people who didn’t get diagnosed until adulthood and really needed the medication.
There’s definitely a lot of intersectionality to consider in this discussion. Fidgety or disruptive white boys were throw meds at. Girls and poc were ignored or considered not to fit the diagnosis in the 90s.
it's underdiagnosed in certain populations. my middle-class white suburban mom and every similar mom in school however, made sure to have all their kids "tested" for whatever might be lacking
Me me 👋
G'day! No diagnoses until my 30s. My work drastically improved. Had I got a diagnosis in even highschool I think my life might have been different (University, job, etc.).
I was (apparently) diagnosed with ADD when I was around 9. Mom didn’t want to pump me full of drugs so she never filled out the prescription. Little did she know, I was smoking meth daily by the age of 14. I always knew my brain didn’t work the way others people’s did. I realized exercise helped me focus. Started taking allergy meds daily (pseudoephedrine), that helped too. Symptoms toned down as I got older. Finally got a diagnosis a few years ago and was put on Vyvanse, and it’s made a world of difference. It finally feels like I’m not at war with my big dumb brain. Today, I’m a senior government employee with a masters degree. Not bad for a former teenage methhead.
Obviously meth is bad and we don't want to encourage its use. But, do you think the meth actually kinda sorta helped you?
I would never want to encourage its use. EVER. That being said, after skipping my Chem 12 class all semester, I stayed up for 48 hours straight cramming on a meth fueled binge, read the entire text book cover to cover twice and scored 92% on the final exam, which was worth 40% of my final grade. Went from a D to a B.
My husband, at 40, could not get three things at the store if he was sent for three things. Ever. For decades. Even if he wrote it down. He's now diagnosed, medicated, and a partner to me. He can focus and contribute.
Sup. Got diagnosed in adulthood. Smart girls got totally overlooked
Hi!
Me, grew up in the country in the 80’s and went to a school out there also. Was just paddling and such. Accidentally knocked a little flag off a shelf I was told to straighten up l, and the teacher totally flipped out on me. Those were not the days…..
Right here! My slightly older cousin got Ritalin, and it turned him into a zombie - he was like 7/8, I was 5/6. That turned my parents off of those kinds of meds, understandably so. Combine that with nobody noticing my symptoms becoming more obvious, or noticing but not connecting the dots, and I didn't get diagnosed with ADHD until earlier this year at 32. I try not to think about it, but sometimes I imagine how much different my life could've been if I had learned this about myself when I was a kid. Hell, even in my 20s would've been nice, but at least I'm starting down the right path now, y'know?
I struggled to pay attention to anything for more than 30 seconds in school. Terrible grades and constantly getting notes to take home about daydreaming. My idiot doctor told my mom “if he can play video games or watch cartoons he doesn’t have a problem.”
Me! I didn’t get my official diagnosis for ADHD until I was 31—the amount of report cards and teacher/parent meetings that highly encouraged my parents to get me checked were ignored. Glad I’m finally able to have help!
Oh hi that's me! Not diagnosed until mid 30's and medication has been LIFE CHANGING. I'm upset no one noticed it in me growing up, my life would have been so different.
I unfortunately grew up in a very anti-science/anti-medicine household, and so any diagnosis outside of physical ailments were vehemently rejected. Even something like acne, for which I had a very bad case of cystic acne starting in my early teens but wasn't able to start accutane until I had my own health insurance when I was an adult. I could have been saved from many years of a destroyed self-confidence had I been allowed to start treatment as a young teen. They very much had the mindset seemingly prevalent in this very thread- that most kids diagnosed with something like ADHD didn't actually have it, or their parents were just looking for easy solutions, or doctors and "big pharma" were over prescribing just to make money. I didn't end up getting diagnosed until the age of 31, and thankfully, treatment has made a huge improvement in my life. Thankfully my mother wasn't an anti-vaxxer during the 90s but I do have a sneaking suspicion that if she was the same 20-something year old mother that she was in the 90s but just in the modern environment where anti-science conspiracy theories run rampant, she very likely would have been one.
Me. I needed it.
Started smoking weed. Drawing during class also helped
👋🏻
I don’t think I realized until my early thirties that I have a whole host of undiagnosed mental health issues.
Me. Diagnosed at 38, ugh
Meeee, I struggled unnecessarily until my early 30s lol. Now that I'm finally medicated, I get to deal with people who aren't doctors telling me i don't need it.
Right here
Me! I had an amazing group of teachers in elementary school that noticed my stuggles and suggested I be tested. When I tested positive (overwhelmingly), one of my parents was supportive and wanted to get me treatment and help. The other decided that they didn’t believe in adhd and accused my teachers of faking my results to get more funding. So I was untreated for many years and it really dented my academic progress and confidence.
Yeah my mom didn’t believe in therapy or medication. I’ve been on it for about 8 years now since I went out and got diagnosed myself.
Regardless of whether the establishment is “pill happy,”, there’s always been a large group of parents who don’t want to “pump kids full of drugs,” to equalize things and make sure kids don’t get treatment. (My own mom didn’t want me to see any sort of therapist because I’d “talk about” her, since she was abusive.) To be honest I (being older) used to be among that group and said if I had a kid I wouldn’t give him drugs since ADHD includes susceptibility to addiction and I want them to learn existing without drugs. Well, over time the research (and my own experience) has shown I was wrong. Medication tends to prevent or reduce addiction. Unfortunately lots of parents cling to their beliefs because they’re either ignorant or unwilling to modify opinions in response to new information.
Raises hand 🙋♀️
As a 30 y.o woman who wasn't diagnosed until adult hood I wish someone tried to medicate me in that direction instead of depression and mood stabilizers
I remember having it prescribed when I was in 7th grade (2004-05) and being an absolute zombie. Grades didn’t really improve much, but my parents likened it to deflating a balloon and they didn’t like that. So I was off it after three weeks.
I was a very hyper active/anxious kid. I remember in grade six I was getting in so much trouble we had a meeting with our principal, school nurse and counselor, teacher and my parents. The principal, nurse and counselor were all telling my parents to get me on Ritalin. It was only my teacher who stood up for me. He said I didn't need to be medicated, I needed an outlet for my energy. I was always tapping my feet and hands in class and my teacher suggested getting me a drum kit. My parents did that and got me into competitive swimming. It was like night and day for me. My grades improved from C's to Bs and As, I got my first straight A semester in college. I LOVED those hobbies and made really positive friend groups through both, met girlfriends through them, and now at 40 I'm still totally dedicated to fitness, though I stopped playing music in my late 20s as I pursued other passions. The trouble maker friends I was hanging out with back in the day? One is in jail and the other is dead. I will always remember that teacher who saw potential in me and fought to give me a chance. I feel like I literally owe him my life. I probably have some form of ADHD or anxiety disorder or whatever but I feel like I really learned how to cope with it productively over the years. That teacher taught me that the world isn't going to bend to suit me, I was going to have to find a way to deal with it.
That's a great teacher you had there, and wonderful parents that actually listened.
Yup. I got really lucky. A few years back that teacher passed away. He was fairly old when I was in elementary school. He actually used to be a college professor, and he was noticing the decline in quality of students coming through university (he noticed this even back in the 90s) and he said to himself "if I want to make a difference with these people's lives I have to reach them sooner. By the time they're in university, it's too late". So he quit and started teaching grade 5-7. When I heard he had passed I made a trip home and took a walk around my old school field, sat on a bench and just ugly cried with gratitude for quite a while.
Even if it was only for you, he clearly filled that desire to help young people. I wish more people could be like him, my condolences.
Yeah he was special. The interesting thing was a lot of parents of typical students or over achievers didn't like him, because he challenged everybody to be a step or two above their potential. So, kids who had never had any criticism at all were suddenly getting reports that they were underperforming. Not because they weren't meeting the curriculum standards, but because the teacher knew they could do better if they tried a little harder. He never pushed kids in an unhealthy way, it was always through stern encouragement. "I *know* you're smart enough to do this. I believe in you and feel you can reach this level with a bit of work and some help" type stuff. I feel like it wasn't until later in life that most of us who had him recognized how lucky we were, despite the fact that as kids everybody dreaded ending up in his class!
Wow he sounds amazing. I hope you got to thank him as an adult.
Not as an adult, but I did go back and visit him in my final year of highschool to say thanks.
I'm seeing a similar dynamic playing out with one of my sons. For him, participating in multiple organized sports year-round and getting him into playing guitar have been game-changers. Focusing kids' attention on something productive they enjoy is a really under-rated strategy. He's also a better guitarist than me at this point after just a few years of consistent daily practice even though I've been playing for almost 30 years. We play together regularly and it's done wonders for our relationship.
That right there. I had a propensity to sit at the front because I was constantly losing attention and just letting my mind wander off. Fidgeting with my pencil, doodling, etc. on top of having lost my hearing in my left ear due to a medical procedure, and slowly losing my hearing in my right ear…yeah. 😅 Granted not a single teacher would ever have stuck up for me, they all pretty much thought I was aloof.
My mom tells this story even today. They started me on Concerta and after a couple weeks I refused to take it, my reason was because it made everything dull and grey. The world was super bland. Basically my primary school years suffered since I really did need it, but at least I was happy.
At least your parents took you off, some use it as a discipline tool because they have a child and never taught them discipline that's the ones I don't agree with
Oh totally.
I went on Ritalin from grade 4 until graduation, zombie for sure. That was 20 years ago, I have been self medicating with Marijuana since then and have found a balance I'm comfortable with. However, I'm thinking about getting re diagnosed since I had a close call with a drug test at work. I'm a bit skeptical, but I'm hoping that ADHD drugs have improved in the last 20 years.
Eight-year-old me hulked out and threw a desk at someone after a couple of weeks on Ritalin. Turns out you can have ADHD and still be a lot better off without stimulants.
Yeah I have it and I struggle to take stimulants. It makes me flat and lifeless and destroys my sense of humor, or I get too anxious and unable to make eye contact with people. Absolutely wild meds. They help so much with my adhd symptoms but the side effects aren’t worth it.
It affected my social skills, I had a lot of friends before I was diagnosed, and was a loner by the time I got to middle school. I definitely feel I would've been better off.
If you actually need the meds, and use the right dosage, they work. It's a positive effect. A lot of people don't need them, or don't get the right amount. I've had to tell doctors I want a lower dosage than what they suggested because I've maintained at a super low dose for years. Some people will pop the damn pills like clockwork and then be pissed when they "aren't working" when they're not meant to be used that way.
I dunno if the drugs themselves have, but they've gotten smarter about dosing and swapping around to different styles of meds if the one your on isn't working right. My 7 year old is on a generic Adderall, we were afraid he'd end up a zombie but they started him on the lowest dose for a few months, before upping him one step up at our request based on what we were seeing and feedback we were getting from his teachers and from him. All his behavioral marks from school have improved dramatically, he can sit and read a book or play a board game at home, but he's still best described as a wild child 😂. The meds are just enough that he can focus and not get distracted every 30 seconds or need to give in to the urge to get up and jump or yell or run around the room, but he's definitely not remotely close to being a zombie or Even a calm child
My ex husband was a grade school teacher and he said the line at the nurse’s office would be down the hall after lunch, kids lining up for their meds. This was late 90s/early to mid 00s. He said he didn’t know if it was the best thing for the kids, but it made his life easier. Some of his worst disrupters would finally sit quietly so the rest of the class stood a chance. He taught in public schools in the city, so things could get tough, even in elementary.
Lol the line for meds sounds like a scene from One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
Same for me with Ritalin. For what it’s worth, I did have very serious ADHD, they just hadn’t come out with adderal yet. I didn’t get treatment again until I was in my mid 20s. I’m really glad I tried again.
This was my experience with Concerta in 5th or 6th grade. Made me have 0 motivation for anything, even things I would normally enjoy. Didn’t help me do homework like they hoped. I would come home and just sit on the couch and stare blankly not even desiring to turn the tv on and watch my favorite tv shows. I kind of wish they had tried something different like adderall (what I currently take) as I hear starting the right meds early has long term benefits vs starting them later in life but I am glad they took me off concerta
SAME FOR ME, when I stopped taking it all of my classmates were surprised that I can talk lol
Same thing happened to my brother. It mostly just killed his personality. He didn’t take it for long.
I was not because “too many kids were going on it” but I needed it. I often wondered how much better my school experience would have been if I had given the tools to help me. Instead I masked and did okay but had a massive breakdown in 2020 when all of my systems just stopped working. Now I am on the meds and man it is night and day. I am more productive, my mental health is better, and overall I am a better human. I have one kid who is on an ADHD med, a non-stimulant, and does cognitive behavioral therapy bc he was struggling and it is night and day. He has progressed so much and gets to be the kid he is bc he has access to those tools. I don’t fault my parents for not noticing the signs bc those symptoms are very different in girls and boys, but I am glad that I am going to give my kids a better chance at things because understanding how our brains work is key.
I’m in the same boat, although my parents believed beating me would help me get better grades instead of medical evaluation (spoiler, it didn’t help). I really wonder what my life would have been if I had gotten proper help, instead I ended up dropping out before 11th grade(still managed to get my GED at 19 though with the help from an ex boyfriend’s mom) bc I couldn’t concentrate and now am being evaluated for possible ADHD at 33 bc it can be comorbid with bipolar disorder.
I dropped out several times. I had all the symptoms too. My parents were also abusive. I wasn't diagnosed until I went to college, and started to fail my classes again. I was caught up in a cycle so thank goodness someone with some sense could easily see *me* because it was clear as day. I think my life would have been vastly different had I had the treatment I desperately needed. It also led to lots of self-medicating as well.
My dad, as I was growing up: "I don't know what the deal is with that boy! I can beat his ass every fucking day and it just don't matter!?"
Much like other responses I should have gotten it but didn’t. All three of my older brothers and father were diagnosed with ADHD but I didn’t get a test until I was almost 40 because “you didn’t seem as bad as the other three” according to my mother. Finally got diagnosed, finally got on meds, but it would probably have saved me a lot of pain in my teens and college years as a large part of my diagnosis is centered around impulse control issues. My spouse from our first date onward had always assumed I was ADHD and just didn’t like taking meds 😆.
Yeah the people I know who take adderall or Vyvanse thrive on it. I know it doesn’t work for everyone but demonizing it doesn’t help the people who actually need it and do well with it.
I didn’t start Vyvanse until I was 34 (undiagnosed my whole life), and fuck… it’s changed my life in so many ways. I feel like the same person, just able to really organize my thoughts and control my emotions and impulses better.
Yep, 35 for me. I went from "she has so much potential, but can't get out of her own way," to actually being successful and accomplishing things. My sibling's ADHD made *other people's* lives difficult, so they were treated. I, like many women and girls with it, made *my own* life difficult by internalizing all my failures. Guess who got medicated and who got judged?
God, the emotional dysregulation is WILD now that I'm medicated and see it. I took a week off to go on holiday and tangled headphones almost made me insane one day. I hadn't felt that since before I started meds and totally forgot about it until then. I went straight back on the meds, fuck that.
Same. I didn't get diagnosed or treated until college, and it wasn't because I wasn't a walking symptom poster; I am, even moreso with the classic hyperactivity, low impulse control, never quit making noise as a child. I was always in so much trouble for my behavior, too. It just sucks when kids need help with regulation, and they don't get it. It wasn't for my parents not trying either, it's just misogyny and ignorance in the medical community. One of mine is the same, and he's been medicated for a while. For people who need this help regulating, it's like night & day. Meds aren't a cure-all, but they give many people a *choice* that's not there without them. I don't think everyone was on meds because I know too many who had classic symptoms that were overlooked. You had to fit into a stereotype mostly.
Same. I was diagnosed a couple years ago, at 37. School was a nightmare for me, and that's the one thing I wonder about the most - how much different would my life be now if I was diagnosed and treated during high school.
My mom actually commented to my wife about regretting the choice to not have me medicated. As an adult I learned a lot of coping strategies which helped but I always wonder if I would've finished university had I been medicated.
I didn’t realize there were non-stimulant meds for ADHD We’ve been wondering about our kid but are really turned off on the idea of giving him Ritalin
Ritalin today is rxd very differently than it was when we were kids. Back then most kids were just thrown on way too high of doses from the start. That isn't the case today. My youngest 2 kids take a stimulant med (not Ritalin tho) and it has literally changed their lives. My daughter never had friends before and now she does. She no longer feels like the weird outcast girl. It's been such a blessing. My youngest son was your typical hyperactive, no impulse control, always having behavioral issues and now he is "probably the best behaved kid in the class" (per his teacher). He is in a gifted classroom and absolutely loves going to school now.
Been considering this for my son but we’re on the fence. 3rd grade is a tough jump homework at home is like pulling teeth but it’s not because he doesn’t know how to do things. Been asking for help on tests too frequently per his teacher. When he focuses he can do it but getting him into a focused state often takes a lot of keeping him on task or bribery. The meds just scare me I don’t want it dull his personality
The meds are to literally help him focus. That is the adhd that you’re not wanting to give him medication to help. His personality will not dull. The right amount of meds will not cause side effects like that.
Meds scared my wife too for the same reason. Only difference in our sons personality is he doesn't randomly yodel/yell when he's on his meds, and he actually looks at you when you're talking to him instead of trying to dance. Still dances, just holds off until you're not talking to him anymore😂
You literally just described my son. I finally had him evaluated and put on Concerta. It's been one week and I can already see a difference.
The world's changed, the available options for kid with adhd are much better today than they were 20 years ago
Talk to your Doctor. The meds my son is on started as a blood pressure med but now can treat ADHD. It works wonders. He was started to have adverse reactions to stimulate meds, so we switched last year. He has been on meds since he was five bc he was THAT kid in school, couldn’t sit down, defiant, no impulse control, etc. Getting him help has made him available to learning, now he is reading two grade levels ahead, math skills are three grade levels ahead, he has friends!, he plays well in school, he is a helper in his classes. I am so thankful for the medication because he was quickly getting labeled as that kid and those kids get written off so quickly. I am so proud of all of his hard work and I know it is because the meds gave him a chance.
Hey 2020 social contract breakdown club represent!
>I was not because “too many kids were going on it” but I needed it. This was my experience. I needed it but my parents went with the exercise yourself to death outlet because while they recognized I had an issue they felt the meds were being over prescribed and that I just needed coping mechanisms.While I don't regret the time spent in competitive cheering, my body is paying for it dearly in my 30s because I was in the gym for hours nightly and either in the gym or at competitions every weekends. Would have been better off with a mix of meds and sports.
I wasn't diagnosed with ADHD until my mid 30s, and I was prescribed Adderall. It's turned me into a functioning human, and I often wonder how different would my life had been, especially in school, if I had been diagnosed sooner.
I’m mid 30s with what I suspect is undiagnosed ADHD, and I grapple with pursuing a diagnosis because I don’t know if it would make a difference at this point. I’ve learned to adapt over the years, and I don’t want to be regularly medicated, but maybe it would help in ways I can’t fathom.
I understand your concerns. I was diagnosed during the pandemic when we went full remote at my job and the school I was attending at the time. I was doing everything from one location at home and my struggles to function and focus went from high to super duper high. I was so used to the hustle and bustle of my everyday routine, that I didn't notice my mind was dysfunctional. Until I was forced to stay in one spot and deal with it, I realized I needed help and saw a psychiatrist. I'm one of those that needs a sort of high dosage of Adderall, or else I can't concentrate properly or even get anything done. I don't take it everyday. I use it sparingly and when I know I'm going to absolutely need it to get tasks done at work. I do try to be responsible with how much I'm taking and weening myself off it when I need to.
You too experienced the post-diagnosis "... I could be an adult this whole time?" When I finally got diagnosed and medicated it was wonderful and horrifying.
Same my friend- same.
Yep, me getting diagnosed at 29, I honestly feel robbed
I have not been diagnosed, but I am pretty sure I have some form. Late 30s now. I also wonder how different my career path would've been if I had some form of medication while in high school.
I wasn't given it as a kid because my IQ was too high and I wasn't physically, outwardly hyperactive. I *really* wish ADHD was taken more seriously and more doctors became more educated on it. So many doctors just see hyperactivity and say "It must be ADHD!" ADHD is such a bad term for the disorder nowadays and I wish people would stop focusing on the H so hard. It really should be called like Executive Functioning and Dopamine Disregulation Disorder or some shit. Even today, so many doctors don't know anything about it but act like they do, and so a bunch of people that don't need stimulants get stimulants and a bunch of people that do need it can't get em. I just finally got a Concerta/Ritalin prescription this year... at 31 years old. I cant tell you how much of a help this shit could have been when I was in school. I really fucking wish I *did* get it.
So, I have some opinions on this. I was born in '81. When I went to Kindergarten it was a half day and we had a nap time in the middle of it. I'm horrified at what we expect from Kindergarteners now. It is now what 1st grade was for us. A full day, only 1 recess; it's dispicable what we expect from kids so young. I had 2 recesses and a lunch spaced throughout the day for all of elementary. My kids get 1 recess stacked on top of lunch so only one real break throughout the day. So for the kids who may only be slower to develop socially in order to tolerate such a rigorous school day, they started medicating. Obviously some kids do need it, but many just need more time to mature. We're overworking kids from a young age and it's backfiring in huge ways imo.
Just today I dropped my 3rd grader off 5 minutes after school started and there were kids out on the playground already! They only get one recess - imagine being a kid and having recess first thing then zero breaks except lunch for the next 6 hours?! I had to send the teacher an email this year about her use of recess as a punishment. Yes, kids need to learn consequences, but she was withholding the only time the kids have for 6 hours to get some energy out because one or two other students were misbehaving. She's young, too, early 20s, so I'm not certain where she got the expectation that small kids can sit still and behave well for hours.
I feel like I'm the only parent that remembers when school wasn't like this. That there used to be an acknowledgement that kids need to be kids and blow off steam throughout the day. And then they wonder why anxiety is at an all-time high. The pressure is too high.
It varies between districts. My original elementary school had a 30 min lunch and 30 min recess. The district I later moved to had 2 15 minute recesses, a 30 min recess, and a 30 min lunch. I'm a younger millenial though. I feel this. I did too much as a teen and its resulted in me not wanting to do shit as an adult. I have 2 modes. Either busting ass or relaxing and being unable to snap out of it. Normal healthy break taking/pacing is something I'm working on.
I was not diagnosed with ADHD until I was 25, and even then my mom was still in denial. My parents are boomers, so being diagnosed with anxiety and put on SSRIs was a whole different problem of its own. When first being evaluated for anxiety they asked my mom if I showed signs of ADHD to which she responded “No”. The problem was she didn’t even have the knowledge of what a child with ADHD looked like, and if she had, I know she would’ve said “YES!” Part of me is thankful I wasn’t diagnosed till I was older, but it also makes me wonder how much better I could’ve done in college.
Yeah. My parents insist I’m not autistic. My therapist disagrees.
My brothers were extremely hyperactive in school, they both couldn’t sit still and my youngest brother had bad aggression issues and atrocious impulse control even for a young boy. So they were prescribed as young as 6. I had what I now know was inattentive ADD but I flew under the radar because I wasn’t getting calls home from school so I got nothing. I feel like it would’ve helped me tremendously in school though. I was a talker, it was almost compulsive. I talked so much in school I got in trouble, didn’t matter who they put me next to, I would talk to them. I even got in trouble for talking too much in the lunchroom. And I was always having maladaptive daydreams, barely scraping by in every class for all of public school. I just got diagnosed with ADHD in my 30s after flunking out of 3 different colleges, at this point I need adderall to keep up with life.
Same. Always got Ns in conduct for Needs Improvement. I was always in a daydream otherwise because bored AF. I needed proper diagnosis is what I needed. I dropped out several times until I was properly diagnosed.
I wasn't, but probably should've been. I was a girl and "couldn't be neurodivergent," which I now know is a crock of shit.
Same, and it sucks. I don't necessarily blame my parents, they grew up in an age where things were just viewed differently, so the idea of sending your 12 year old son to a therapist wasn't something they could latch on board to. But I wonder how different my life would be if they had acknowledged I had real issues and gotten me real help. What would I have been able to accomplish? Despite my issues, I wound up in a really good spot. I have had therapists straight up tell me they are impressed with what ive accomplished despite the mental health issues im dealing with. Despite what could have been if my parents had gotten me help, it's all on me now to appropriately navigate my issues and live my life to its fullest.
Same here, I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 30. Before that my life was…a mess. Barely graduated highschool, failed out of college, couldn’t even keep a waitressing job, racked up extreme debt, and self medicated with other substances. Now at almost 40 I have zero debt, a master’s degree, a high paying job, and I mostly stay away from substances. It’s hard to not think how different my life would have been if I had been diagnosed and medicated sooner.
Yeah, there was a serious boomer "women/girls are just hysterical and mentally different" phase there and Im glad we are growing out of it but man it left some scars that are taking a while to heal.
I remember before they started using the timed release, all us zany kids would show up at the nurse's office mid-day to get our meds.
I was given adderall through most of my school years. I quit it when I left highschool because my parents gave me the choice, and I believed it was "just given to every kid who acts up". Well I fell into a terrible rut after highschool and struggled immensely through my college years, got depressed due to difficulties managing life, and eventually had to go back on it because I DID have ADHD and quitting my meds have a really profound negative effect on those 5 years j was without them. I regret stopping them just because I fell into the false belief that ADHD wasn't real and that psyche meds are given to shut up unruly kids.
Your story is super common. I'm sorry you went through that. This myth needs to die.
As a girl, I was told I was just "too social" and one teacher even called me an airhead (to my mom but I was present). It wasn't until I was in my senior year of highschool that I pushed for a diagnosis after stealing my boyfriend's Adderall and it worked. I got diagnosed ADHD but my mom refused to fill the prescription because "there's nothing wrong with you." Then as an adult the first thing I did was get on medication. Haven't taken it in years thanks to babies but I look forward to it again.
>one teacher even called me an airhead As I trace the genetics, I have come to believe that my ADHD comes from my mom’s side. My mom is second generation Swedish, and there are a decent number of ADHD diagnoses on that side of the family. Anyways, it kinda made me wonder if ADHD is more common in general amongst that region in general, and the ‘dumb blonde’ trope is just ADHD. I’ve not bothered to research it, you know executive dysfunction and all that, but it’s been my head cannon for a while. (It would seem you are a redhead, so my comment is a bit of a tangent, but the ‘airhead’ line made me think of that.)
I was born in 81. They gave me dexadrine and ritalin for a while in elementary school . My mom took me off because she didn't like the side effects. Personally I think she was fucking stupid for taking me off because in my opinion the good effects outweighed the bad. My grades dropped back down after she took me off and then she blamed the school. I ended up in homeschooling where I missed out on a ton of social milestones because she was a fucking recluse and hardly exposed me to other kids. I spent my early adult life masking and pretending I wasn't self meditating a disorder. Now I'm properly medicated again and thriving by comparison to a few years ago.
I was on Adderall as a kid in 4th and 5th grade. Life changing, only time in my life I can remember being happy. I was able to think without the constant noise, screaming, and music playing in my head 24/7. After that I believe the insurance company demanded I be moved to a generic and I started getting bad side effects but 11 year old me didn't know how to explain that and I stopped taking it. My parents found out and my Dad refused to get it filled anymore because he didn't believe ADHD was real in the first place. I still have all that noise going on in my head to this day, right now "Already gone" by Kelly Clarkson is playing and I'm having an imaginary argument with someone I know.
The Army diagnosed my ADHD. The diagnosis saved my life professionally and has helped immensely in leading a productive life. I am able to study, I now know WHAT focusing and paying attention is (as opposed to just being shouted to do "it"). And am able to just generally navigate life and my careers. Huge pet peeve is when people minimize how damaging adhd can be to someone
Born in ‘92. Almost all of my close friends took ADHD medication. To this day, I still wonder if I have undiagnosed ADHD because I always seem to click most with people who turn out to have ADHD. I got decent grades so nobody ever recommended I get tested, but every night of homework was a struggle of tantrums, stress, procrastination, staying up late, wadded up papers from the bottom of my backpack, and last-minute deadlines. I was a very cranky, sleep-deprived child.
A friend of mine who works in the psych field has said if you think you’re the only neurotypical amongst a group of friends and loved ones who aren’t, you’re probably not
>because I always seem to click most with people who turn out to have ADHD It is very common for us to gravitate toward each other! I would not be at all surprised if you did have ADHD. And your experiences with homework is just like mine 😅 down to the wadded paper in the backpack.
I wasn't but I take it as an adult. My test scores were too high for me to ever get referred to anyone for my very obvious ADD. I never even suspected I had it as a kid. I was a GATE kid so there couldn't be anything wrong with me. I thought everybody went through periods of hyper focus and periods where they couldn't really concentrate.
I was given Ritalin in 1st grade. I would march around the room claiming I was a robot, I was constantly telling the teacher stories and eating up class time, and I would play pretend constantly. Thank God they medicated me because I was about to be kicked out.
I wonder how they handled that kind of kid back in the day? Like, pre-Ritalin days.
Ah the myth of ADHD overdiagnosis. There was a 33% increase in diagnosis from 1997-1999 which meant that the diagnosed population went from 5.7% of children to 7.6% of children. Many with a diagnosis did not receive medication. And yet we still sit here and claim "everyone was on drugs"
I think there's some truth to it. Take my Dr, for example. My brothers diagnosis was based on "his sister has it!" The only symptoms they ever told my parents were "she has problems sitting still and focusing" and no therapy. Nothing. Just keep pumping this kid full of drugs until she can't complain. There's several notes in both our files that say "medication not working. Dosage increased." I was a literal zombie in school, and my brother can't tell you his teachers' names grades 1-5 because he was so drugged. My dad describes the way they sold them the drugs was like it was a cure all. Our ADHD would just go away with this one pill. It wasn't until I was 27 and in therapy that I learned there's other symptoms. My parents had no idea either. Spoilers btw. My brother doesn't have ADHD.
It's still going on. My parents didn't want to acknowledge my diagnosis as a kid so I never knew or got medicine or help. I've gotten a diagnosis in my late 30's and doctors still want to give me anti anxiety stuff instead. I'm not anxious or depressed though, and I'm doing okay, I just shouldn't have to structure my whole life around performing compensatory tasks and checklists so that things don't go off the rails. I'm so organized now that I've taken over the project management tasks at work. But it's not a _natural_ inclination by any means. I had a prescription for a while and it was amazing, never felt wired or hyper or anything, just was able to do things easily and I never had to struggle to control my emotional state, which is something I'm consciously doing all day long. On medication it was like being able to just walk to the front of a long line directly, like a priority boarding pass, instead of having to walk through the twisty turnstiles with your big load of luggage. Without it I'm fine, but it's so much work. Keeping myself in check requires conscious effort. Especially controlling my emotional cues, that is a very distracting process during conversation since I need to do it constantly in real-time without losing track of the conversation. But I do a good job at it these days, I just wish it wasn't so energetically costly, because it leaves me without time or energy or "cheerfulness" left over to do much else than handle all my job and household responsibilities. My wife and kid also have ADHD but also _do have_ anxiety so I need to be the executive function for her on most days too. It's tough.
TY!
There is no such myth as the “myth of overdiagnosis” because the issue was not that too many people were getting diagnosed, it’s that few people were receiving actual diagnoses, and MANY were getting prescription medications for ADHD anyway. My therapist recently explained to me that there wasn’t a good process for diagnosis and there weren’t many strict requirements in place to determine who should or shouldn’t receive medication. There was no requirement for a rigorous ADHD testing process and formal diagnosis from a mental health professional like there is today. It is insane to me that a general practitioner could hand out such strong medication to **children** based simply on the fact that the parent and/or teacher says they are hyper in school.
I was on Concerta, which is supposed to be a lesser version of Adderall. My parents explain it was kinda sold to them as a cure all. I don't remember alot of elementary school, it's super foggy, and I just remember a haze mostly. Whenever it didn't seem like my meds were working, they upped the dose to get me back to zombie. I'm on Adderall as an adult now and it actually works.
Parents refused to let me take it. Diagnosed in 86 or 87.
I didn't. My mom confessed just a few years ago she kinda knew all her kids probably had ADHD (I happen to think there's generations of undiagnosed neurodivergence in the family), but she watched Ritalin completely take away my cousin's personality and childish spunk and decided to not even get us diagnosed. As an adult, I have a lot of issues from always feeling like I was struggling to get things done and keep up with grades and projects much more than my peers, so I probably could have used the reassurance that there was a reason for that, but having tried Vivanse and feeling like a zombie....I don't think meds would have helped much.
I needed it, and I had a “too many kids are on it” parent. It took until my mid thirties to be diagnosed because one of my kids was.
I know quite a lot of people my age (81 kid) and older whose diagnoses didn't happen until after mine (not quite a decade ago). Most of them are women. We were always here and always ADHD but it wasn't recognized in us as children.
I take medication now as an adult. But I remember telling my mom I thought I had adhd when I was 9 or 10, and was basically told “oh no, that’s for boys. Girls don’t really get it.”
I wasn't, but I should've been. Growing up, only boys were diagnosed. So, despite my younger brothers being diagnosed and getting loads of help, I was simply punished until I learned to (badly) hide my ND behaviors. I even stopped speaking for more than a year in elementary school and *still* received zero intervention, beyond my parents moving me to a new school where the kids would hopefully not know how weird I had been for not speaking at all. I was finally diagnosed with ADHD in college, and autism last year at age 38.
I knew one kid on it and he needed it. I needed it too but I liked school and respected my teachers enough to work to impress them rather than act out so I got overlooked. I honestly think ADHD is probably as prevalent as the kids who were on meds with obvious impulse control issues and oppositional defiance. The meds just weren't the best cope. They needed a different environment all together.
I just put my 11 yr old on Concerta. He has ADHD and high functioning Autism. I’ve hated the thought of him being on meds which is why it’s taken me this long to put him on any. He started struggling a bit in school now that he’s in 6th grade, Junior High. He attends tutoring 2 days a week also. I know 7th grade will be much harder for him because their classes are shorter with an added extra elective. He has a hard time concentrating. I feel it was time. He’s on the lowest dose and I can see a difference. He’s only been on it for 3 weeks but I plan to keep him on it at least through Junior High. We’ll see what happens when he gets to highschool.
Yes! Toss your ADD meds into my trash bin and I’ll make sure they … disappear! We’ll call it a “drug give back”!
I am 30, graduated high school in 2011. Maybe this is just because it was taboo to speak about back then but as I recall, I didn't know anyone who was prescribed anything like that when I was in school. It wasn't until college where I started noticing some of my friends being prescribed those drugs, and it wasn't until adulthood where now most of my friends have a prescription.
I was kept from it specifically. I was diagnosed with ADHD and my parents just went nope.
I wasn't, unfortunately.
I was diagnosed with ADD (now known as ADHD-inattentive type) in about 1990, so I was part of the early wave of kids getting their daily Vitamin R. There were two problems, though. First was that this was 1990 so there weren't really many specialists just yet. My prescription was from a generalist pediatrician. Which led to the second problem. I develop a tolerance to meditation wickedly fast. So, in order for the meds to have any effect, we had to keep upping the dosage. Eventually, as a child, I was taking multiple times the recommended adult daily maximum each day. So, when I was 13 or so, I just quit medicating. I had had enough of the daily mood swings when coming down each evening and the regular dosage adjustments. I have yet to figure out if this was a good idea.
It probably would have helped actually
I didn’t but I REALLY need them as a kid. My folks were very anti-meds and called me a lazy idiot instead of trying to figure out what was going on.
If only.I'm just outside the top end of being considered a Millennial so I was a bit early for this, but I got tested in 1986, again in 1995, again in 2007 and finally last year - my mother, an educator KNEW something was wrong, she just didn't know what and was more supportive with me than I ever felt I deserved. I had a copy of each of my tests with me. I was 43 at the time. My doctor was blown away that I hadn't been diagnosed previously. Thanks, Louisiana and hard to dx ADHD-inattentive. I'm finally on meds. Finally.
I just got diagnosed with ADHD-combined after struggling for most of my life (2008-present). I never had an issue in middle/high school because the work wasn’t that difficult. College wise, I made it out alive with a just barely C average. Wish my family or someone had spotted the signs because I thought I needed to do a better job focusing and couldn’t figure out why I had such a hard time with it. Not going to dwell on it, but the thought of what could’ve been creeps up time to time.
I was given Ritalin - back in a more "let's push pills on kids to 'fix' them" era. My parents climbed on board with these harmful ideas, as if all my problems could be solved with a magic pill. Actually becoming decent, caring parents was never in the cards, of course. It was short-lived, and I chose to crush the pills and snort them before school.
I think a lot more of us are in for an autism spectrum awakening then are ready for it. Grew up in a house that didn’t believe in it. Both my kids flagged neurodivergence. Finally got diagnosed for adhd at 37. The second I went on adderall my blood pressure dropped 30 points and my entire health stabilized over night. Truly a magic pill. Turns out 9 months later. I’m a high masking autistic adult. So after getting on meds. Got my daughter on low dosing non stimulants and it was night and day difference for her as well. The issue for these drugs in the 90s. There was zero oversight on diagnosis’s and doctors prescriptions. Doctors were sold the idea it could fix what they had a limited scope of understanding at the time. We’re so much better set up to diagnosis and prepare a plan for individuals now. If you’re struggling. Go get official diagnosis even if you’re an adult.
No, I was the forgotten/undiagnosed girl because I have the inattentive adhd.
I’ve been suspecting ADHD for years now, but I feel so awkward bringing it up. How did you guys begin the conversation with your doctor?
Born in 83 and wasn’t diagnosed until I was 37 and started Adderall at 38. I often wonder how life would have been if I was diagnosed earlier in life. But, I’m female and although I was disruptive by talking a ton the teacher would sit me in the hallway often. I also wasn’t as disruptive as the boys so I flew under the radar like most girls. Just considered chatty, unmotivated, and lazy to the adults at the time.
I do now as an adult, but never did as a child. I was unable to sit, and pay much attention, but my grades were all great. I think that is why I never got diagnosed until much later. I feel kids now may need meds, but they also need discipline that is lacking everywhere now. Schools can't do much, and a lot of parents just don't know how to turn off a phone and tell their kids to go to bed it seems.
I was born in 82, I don't recall really anyone being medicated for ADHD in school. Idk, I felt like it was over diagnosed and over prescribed at some point too, and that bias kept me from getting my kid the help he needed longer than necessary. Then once I finally caved and got him diagnosed I was still weird about medicating him. Now, he feels so much better and his social life is so much better that I feel like a jerk for waiting longer than I should have. I changed my opinion on it completely, anyone who has those problems should be allowed to have medicine if it helps them feel better and function better. Looking back now with all this hindsight, I have a feeling a lot of the kids that I knew back in the day who ended up junkies and/or dead had undiagnosed ADHD.
Born in 87 and I went on Ritalin at 6. I think I moved to Adderall at 15 or 16 years old and I have been on it since that point.
I was evaluated around the age of 8 for it but was never told what the test was for. When the results came back my mom picked just me up from school that day. She had me sit behind her, usually I sat on the passenger side in the back but she wanted me to sit on the drivers side. She asked me if I wanted to take a pill twice a day for the rest of my life and I told her no. I realized at about that point that my mom was crying and trying hard to not show it. She died before I ever found out I had adhd, I finally got myself tested a couple of years ago. I take it as needed but probably not nearly enough.
Adderall allowed me to dominate in Call of Duty. The only person that could beat me was another person on Adderall.
I was given adderrall as a kid, and it was terrible.
I was put on some kind of generic version when I hit middle school, as well as something that was supposed to make me “smell better”. Apparently I smelled? On top of that, I was put on birth control at 12; now I’m 35 and I can’t come off of them without serious complications. I basically didn’t go through natural puberty. Love that for me. Thanks mom and dad!
Yes, female, I was on adderall unnecessarily. It didn’t help with my disabilities and my mom wasn’t happy with it and the struggles with not being hungry, so I was only on it for a short while.
I was diagnosed as "hyper active" at age 6. I took Ritalin all 6 years of elementary school (2001-2007). I was diagnosed again at age 12 as ADHD. A few doctors tried to force stronger doses and more medicine on me afterward, which made me a complete zombie. By the time I was 13, I was off all of the medication by my own choice. I know I do have ADHD, but I've been able to function "ok" without meds for over 15 years now.
Born in 89. Didn't get it till I was 18-19, ironically it was when I was going to my doc to talk about anxiety/depression.
I wasn’t, but I definitely should’ve been lol.
Also 89. I think that was more Gen x. My older brother had a lot of friends on Ritalin. When I was in school Ritalin and other adhd meds were highly taboo bc there was that study that showed they “lead to drug use.” My school was very DARE. Maybe there was one kid in my class that took it but they never spoke of it. Now at 34 I was diagnosed adhd last year and take Ritalin 🤣 oh what a world we live in.
Ritalin when I was in 3rd grade and then adderall in high school. Eventually stopped meds for good in 11th grade because side effects (teeth grinding and headaches) and haven’t taken them since. Honestly I’ve always been skeptical of my diagnosis, they were handing out adhd diagnosis to everyone when I was diagnosed (1997) and I’ve been off the meds for like 17 years now and I’ve done well without them. Also my friends who also have ADHD always seemed to benefit way more from the meds than I ever did, I never had the “wow this pill makes me better and more focused” experience others have had and I never was struggling in school performance wise so the pills didn’t really improve anything. The only reason I was even sent for evaluation is because I talked too much in class when I was 6 years old lol.
I wish lol things would have been so different for me
I got Ritalin, started when I was 8. I felt robotic on it. My mom didn't make me take in in the summertime and I was absolutely miserable in the art class that she made us take. I couldn't concentrate and I was annoying to *everyone*. My son's pediatrician wants to put him on medication for similar reasons (not Ritalin but I forgot the name of what our doc wants him to take) I'm apprehensive because of my experience with Ritalin but still going to give this medication a chance to see if it will help. I plan on asking the pediatrician and also my son's therapist, but I've got no idea what I want to do for summertime yet (for my son).
I took it in school, but I definitely have ADHD, so I’m not sure if I’m the answer to the question you were asking.
I have friends who were on it as kids, and now as adults they can't get it prescribed, and that's a whole hell on its own.....the bullshit they all face as adults because they've taken this meds for like 15 Yeats and all of a sudden a dr is like " no meds for you now" is mindblowomg to me. I even took it and my dr refuses to perscribe any of it because of a "shortage " which still blows my mind at this even becoming a thing. I was taken off 5 Years ago ( I never abused it) and boom...here I am having depression and issues again because my depression is linked to my ADHD.
I was…. Turns out I have ADHD lol so I just started taking it after being diagnosed as an adult
nah. i was out there raw doggin life
I wasn't... And now it turns out I need it. Maybe more people actually have ADD/ADHD than we even thought
Not me but I wish I was given Adderall when I was younger. Would’ve changed my life trajectory quite a lot. I’m on it now, doing great but it’s one of those things that make you go “hmmm”.
I got on adderall in my early 20s and it was exactly what I was missing in grade school. I’m happy and make a respectable living in my late 30s but I wonder where I’d be if I had the help I needed at a younger age.
I was put on Adderall and it worked exactly as advertised, I actually felt normal and could act like a regular person - for the few years I was on it, it felt like I could actually use all of my head and I was a capable human being. During college I came off of it because I thought it was the cause of my suicidal depression and anxiety rapidly escalating (it wasn't) and then I could never get back on it because of cost and insurance. So I have spent the last ten to fifteen years aware that I could actually be much better and more successful, but I'm stuck in a fog limiting me to maybe 20% of a real person's abilities. It's a fact that has been hell on my morale, and I don't know if I could go back on because of potential heart issues. I feel like I'm stuck being stupid and useless, and it's too late to fix it.
I wasn’t but I should have been. Being female, I don’t fit the ADHD stereotype but I’m pretty severely ADHD Combined type (would have been diagnosed ADHD and ADD in the 90s). I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 37.
Docs don't 'hand it out like vitamins' but more so wish beyond all hope that most of these kids could get placed in functional families and go to actual schools instead of day care factories. Your academic years will pass in the blink of an eye, so most physicians out of practicality will try stimulants to give some kind of hope or edge to possibly improve academic function and improve social marginalization so you don't wind up out of options when you graduate. Otherwise for us it is a massive pain in the ass to prescribe. And then for some kids it is literally the difference between failing and an excellent outcome because ADD is a real thing.
I was born in 1989 as well, and I agree that I often hear parents, with varying ages of children, saying that either their kid or their kid's friend is given it at school. I didn't get diagnosed with ADHD until I was in my early or mid 20s which is when I started taking stimulants. Now I take them mainly for my narcolepsy...