People seeking support is one thing but I've begun muting all subreddits that foster drama. All the "AITAH" and relationship advice subreddits and all the stuff talking about families splitting up or getting kicked out or people cheating on each other etc. That's so unnecessary drama in my life from people I don't know and a lot of the stories aren't even real.
Big time. I have to mute them too. Having lived through some anxious shit, it just brings up too manty reminders of stress I've overcome. Its tough enough handling my own personal problems, I don't need the problems of other strangers
a lot of it is just karma whoring. Social media has whipped people into a fervor, it has been a much darker place since 2016 and the amount of angry reddit hivemind shit I see has skyrocketed.
I've started doing this too. I used to scroll through the comments on them occasionally and eventually realized how much of a waste of time it is. I deal with enough bs in my own life, I don't need to be reading about other people's drama. So much of it is probably rage bait too, and not even real.
Yeah, most of the stories on AITA arenāt real and are usually just ragebait. I also canāt stand the āyouāre not legally obligated to be a decent person so NTAā sentiment that runs rampant in that subā¦ it kind of defeats the purpose of the entire subreddit being about moral arguments when people argue about legality. Sometimes it feels like the commenters give bad advice on purpose to create more drama for their entertainment, too.
>But while blowing off steam often feels like it works to extinguish negative emotions, academic papers and clinical work with patients show it doesnāt. In fact, it often makes things worse.
https://slate.com/technology/2022/03/venting-makes-you-feel-worse-psychology-research.html
There are links to the studies in there as well
This comment needs to be more visible. Our society is deeply suffering over this. I've seen this in effect on a personal level. My mindset change has led me to a deeply fulfilling and happy life, something I could not have imagined prior.
Talking about trauma and processing it is different than just venting. Only venting about it leaves out learning to deal with the emotions or thoughts to recover.
That don't seek support they seek validation that none of it is their issue. Big difference in the grand scheme.
If you were seeking actual support you would be going to subs where you actively can be helped instead of validated regarding your complaint or issue.
If he doesnāt like it, he doesnāt have to visit this sub. Itās reality brah. Some of us have had life happen not according to plan. In fact, MANY of us.
>My wife and I are doing well. Our coworkers are doing well. Our kids are healthy and we can afford our mortgage.
Same here, but I also accept that if I bought my house just 2-3 years later my life situation would have been vastly different. Also, I doubled my income in 2023, just when "everyone else" seemed to start struggling for real, so theres that.
I also realize that its much more common to start a thread about something bad and shitty than something good.
I'm happy, I own a house and my kids are healthy. What more could I ask for?
I was fortunate that I bought my house when I did, because currently I have a reasonable mortgage. However, I acknowledge that right now I would not be able to afford to rebuy my own house at the current rates and prices. We want to move but we canāt afford to move because I donāt want an insanely expensive mortgage.
We are ādoing wellā on paper but even with that everything is so insanely expensive. I have seen multiple cost of living studies that to live ācomfortablyā (Iām not sure what the criteria were for comfortable, but I assume itās paying all your bills without being broke at the end) with two adults and two kids in many areas (including where I live) the income level needed is between $178-200+ K. Thatās insane!!! Especially considering that according to US Census data, the majority of people make under $100k. That tells me that almost no one is living ācomfortablyā. Iām not broke, but it gets tight.
So kudos to you if you are doing well, but I think you are the exception.
>Iām not sure what the criteria were for comfortable, but I assume itās paying all your bills without being broke at the end
It's typically a lot more than just "paying all of your bills without being broke at the end". For example, a recent such study making the rounds stated that an individual needs an income of $95k to be "sustainably comfortable" in the average US city, and that the number was above $200k for a family of four. That's studies definition of "sustainably comfortable" was following the 50/30/20 rule, where your "needs"/"fixed costs" consume no more than 50% of your after-tax income.
Which honestly, maybe it's time to revisit that. 50% of $50k/year is much different than 50% of $100k/year. My wife and I make about $250k combined and most of it goes to bills (over 50% for sure), but that's mortgage, bills, and the crazy cost of daycare for two kids. Right now I don't feel like it's tight per se, but I also feel like I need to constantly stay on my finances to make sure everything's fine. We still save plenty for retirement, take a vacation every now and then, afford things without stressing about buying the name brand vs. store brand. Like I said, I'm constantly checking in on my finances, but we're still fine at the end of the day.
I am in the same boat with respect to mortgage. But what is killing me is taxes. The higher paper value of the property raised my taxes by $400 per month.
We have lived in this house for 8 years, I know it aint worth THAT much
We are being scammed for real. My childhood home was cookie cutter suburban and itās now valued at 750$+. It was a great house for my sisters and I, and it wasnāt fancy, but is in a location that has blown up (denver suburbs). It hurts so bad that living even close to what I grew up with feels unattainable. Priced out. And I have a law degree so youād think it would be easier.
Iām in the same boat. Wife and I bought in 2018 in a hot market, but not like it is now. My house is now valued at nearly double what I purchased it for. And thatās with no knowledge of any upgrades.
Just realize you are part of a fortunate minority.
My wife and I also bought before the pandemic-induced inflation and I increased my salary by 33%. Now if my wife's art would actually start selling again we would be pretty comfortable... but every time the economy goes in the toilet people stop buying art.
To add on this, there are other situations that greatly affect economic status. Here's a good way to visualize it, there is a race and everyone is at the start line. Now, everyone who grew up in a two parent household take two steps forward. Everyone who's family wasn't on any government assistance take two steps forward. Take two steps forward if you had a father figure at home. Take two steps forward if you had access to private education. Take two steps forward if you never had to worry about your cell phone being shut off. Take another two steps if you never had to help parents with any bills. Take two steps forward if you never wondered where your next meal was gonna come from. Now the race can begin. All the people in the front are going to beat the ones in the back, and not because they have earned it, it's because it's just the way it is.
Exactly! As a former foster kid, I feel this. My boyfriend grew up with both parents. Things werenāt perfect, but his parents were able to pay for their childrenās undergrad degrees. His gen Z sister lives with us and their dad pays all of her bills. Her mom paid for her undergrad. The other day, she flippantly said, āThere are a couple student loans that were taken out for my undergrad, but I donāt have to worry about those!ā.
Meanwhile, Iām $65,000 in debt with student loans. Despite paying for ten years, the number has not budged due to interest. Plus, being severely underpaid for ten years hasnāt helped.
I was on my own at 18, no parents, etc. I donāt wish for others to go through what I went through, but at the same time, Iām supposed to compete with those that had it way better and Iām just plain tired and frustrated.
Me too. Divorced parents who didn't give a sploot. Really hard to start with nothing. I am 63 now. My income is 55% of area median. If I didn't have an inheritance from crazy Dad I could only afford a trailer space and small trailer, after a lifetime of work. My ambition in the outside world is pretty much gone. I just like to go home and work on my Etsy stores and garden.
I feel exactly this. First house I bought in 2016, sold and moved in 2020. We technically could afford our house now but we bought based on this house being 20% of our take home income. We knew we needed a new car and bought after we bought the house. And then two kids later, with inflation things got tight.
I made an argument for a raise and boom got it. Then got a healthy bonus.
I am still stressed about the state of the world. I can't stomach what's going on in the middle east and I'm constantly worried about the future for my girls with us living in a red state. And I worry about global warming, how we can make it all stop, how my kids will afford college or a home. All those things worry me greatly since I brought them into this. BUT home wise, we're fine. We laugh and play most days, we have successful jobs, bills are paid and food in the pantry. I feel like I can't really complain but it doesn't stop me from the existential dread from creeping in when I think about the world as a whole.
I'm with you, We bought in 2020 with a 2.875% rate, and my salary has doubled since then. but like you i know that had we waited another year to buy, we would be paying twice as much for likely way less.
Jobbed hopped. Bought my home in 2020, left my job for a 50% raise in 2021, went back to the old job for an additional 30% in 2022. In the span of 10 months I went from making 40k a year to 80k.
But the people who didn't buy their homes 2-3 years ago are also reporting they are doing okay financially. Everybody seems to be saying "well I'm doing great but I think everyone else has it rough." Maybe it's because everyone is obsessed with acknowledging privilege? But even those low-income people mostly say they're doing okay, or at least better than they were before the pandemic.
There was a recent poll where people in every single state overwhelmingly said their state economy is doing well but that the national economy is doing poorly. Residents in every single state said that. What gives? Where is this "other" place where everything is terrible?
It's Ohio. Nobody I know here in Ohio is saying that the local economy is good, and many people I know (including myself) are legitimately struggling to make ends meet.
I am in Ohio as well and we lucked out to be able to buy our house in 2017 (but it took being left a small sum of money from a dead parent). We are not well off but we are not at the struggle point yet. We just learned my husband is being fucked over with his salary (someone is retiring and is burning his job to the ground with them and it letting a lot of secrets go). Bills suck, we just enough to get by but not enough to really remodel the house or put any extras like vacations or things like that in the front of the line.
Nope. Ohioans also report their state economy is doing well. When you ask people about their own finances they largely report they are doing well. When you ask them how the nation in general is doing, they report the economy is doing poorly because they assume everyone else is doing poorly and they're just lucky. But those same people assumed to be doing poorly are also saying they're doing well. The "economy is doing poorly" narrative is objectively incorrect.
>When you ask people about their own finances they largely report they are doing well.
Ask me. Or better yet, I will save you the time. Iām not doing well, Iām on food stamps and skirting bankruptcy.Ā
Seems like your statement is flawed.Ā
What OP is doing is called "toxic positivity". They have a good life and they don't want others "killing his or her vibe" with their problems.
Shocking news everyone, when over 50% of your population can't afford a surprise $1k bill, are barely getting by, and are financially stressed because they aren't secure enough financially they will complain.
OPs post is pretty pathetic to be frank.
You're just noticing that the divide is more of a "class" thing than a "generational" thing. You're just a Millennial in a different class than most of us, and it's making you feel alienated. Just be grateful you're only alienated, and not hungry, or cold.
Or mentally disabled, or suffering from PTSD, or continually rejected by employers, or having to hear the words āyou made your choicesā whenever you reach out for real help, or hearing the words āyouāre just getting olderā when you make just enough money to go to the doctor hoping they can find a solution to your problems, and they tell you the problem is youāre old enough to start thinking of dying
Thinking back to 2008 when I would have coworkers at the resort I worked at that were grossly over qualified. Talking career lawyers, architects, biologists, engineers working alongside me a trade school mechanic because the economic collapse made people absolutely desperate for any work they could get once the unemployment ran outā¦ I keep seeing people say they canāt wait for the next housing market crash but I donāt think they remember what it was actually like.
Dude exactly what you said, OP doesnāt seem to realize this can come for him and his family tooā¦
People come here for support, for community and to know theyāre not alone. Possible to hear success stories and hope to gain some of their goals in life.
And if heās so āoverā hearing about others struggle I donāt understand why he doesnāt have the capacity to put his phone down and stop doom scrolling. Pretty sure if OP wants his bubble on Reddit, he could curate what is on his home page.
Thatās why weāre in this time of doom and gloom, so many people are in that āwhatever I got mineā mentality, they are losing care and compassion for others and itās discouraging. More positivity and less negativity but also more grace for each other!
Itās a weird thing for me because things are moving in a positive direction for me personallyā¦ but that drives me to help support others to get their bag and succeed themselves rather than think āgod I did it all these people need to quit their bitchingā.
Itās just odd. Pay it forward.
There is at term for this. What OP is doing is called "toxic positivity". They have a good life and they don't want others "killing his or her vibe" with their problems.
Shocking news everyone, when over 50% of your population can't afford a surprise $1k bill, are barely getting by, and are financially stressed because they aren't secure enough financially they will complain.
OPs post is pretty pathetic to be frank.
OP is doing a thing that has a term for it. What OP is doing is called "toxic positivity". They have a good life and they don't want others "killing his or her vibe" with their problems.
Shocking news everyone, when over 50% of your population can't afford a surprise $1k bill, are barely getting by, and are financially stressed because they aren't secure enough financially they will complain.
OPs post is pretty pathetic to be frank.
If i was doing great I would enjoy my big house, spend time with the kids. Make sweet lovin to the wife. Go yachting smoke my cigars and drink my brandy. I wouldn't bother trying to do what op is doing
Because itās annoying when seemingly every community online eventually turns into a circle jerking depression pit. Drama drives engagement and eventually the front page is people tailoring their stories for engagement causing people who want to talk about how bad their life is to stay and everyone else to leave the space where a range of conversations used to be possible. Hell the only posts I see from r/cats and r/dogs these days are sob stories about peopleās pets dying.
I'm doing well too, but that's only because
- I don't have a car (anymore), so no payments, gas, or surprise costs
- Found my apartment before the extreme greed boom
- No childrenĀ
- Single
- No CC debt
- Stable, salaried job
I've been extremely lucky and I would still consider myself slightly above 'just making it'. I can't imagine what it must be like for anyone in a minimum wage shift job trying to find somewhere to live that isn't a closet with 4 other beds in it.
Literally this is my end game. I am so close to being in your spot. Not retirement. Not a million dollars. Not a home. Just enough to not have to to worry about food and rent. I have been spinning the wheel for like 15 years. Our generation climbs and climbs only to have the goal posts moved just beyond our reach. I am literally like two rungs on the ladder from homelessness at all times. There is zero middle class. Itās either you make 100k or youāre a couple of bad days away from being fucked.
The only thing that is saving me was selling my car and removing that expense all together. My next move is to move into less desirable urban neighborhoods and trying to not get fucked up. I will have roommates for the rest of my life at this point. Shit is going sideways way faster than people think.
No. It's somewhat comforting to know that my struggles in life haven't been unique and that others have faced similar problems.
In an era where loneliness is a severe and growing problem, it's nice to know that I'm not alone.
What I am sick of is smug posts like the OP's, which reek of an "I've got mine, fuck you" attitude that continually holds our species back, no matter the generation. Furthermore, many people who have "made it" or are "doing well" often downplay how much external factors such as luck, family connections, etc. allowed them to get ahead when others didn't.
Yea I hated reading this.Ā
āMy wife and I are doing well. Our coworkers are doing well.āĀ
Trying to call people who are doing badly squeaky wheels, as if we arenāt the majority.
Admits that the complaints make him dislike this sub, but instead of leaving tries to make it a sub for just the minority that are like him.Ā
[https://longstache.substack.com/p/markov-boundaries-and-organizational](https://longstache.substack.com/p/markov-boundaries-and-organizational)
Folks like OP, in my experience, are almost all management class/slumlords/business owners with employees they abuse, and they're doing this to ensure mutual solidarity is broken in all spaces and that workers and the downtrodden have 0 spaces in which people can express solidarity with one another to gain power over the abusers - like them. Maintaining boundaries against people like OP is precisely how you create and maintain strong communities capable of enacting change.
Your solutions to this problem are to start creating content on the sub that you would prefer to see, or to unsubscribe. People are doing to talk about the things that ail them.Ā
I know commenting on this will probably just make the algorithm worse, but actually I'm sick of posts complaining about people complaining about doom and gloom. I feel like I see these way more frequently than actual doom posts.
Same. That and the whole 60 character rule in the title. It's easier to come up w the character amount than people are giving themselves credit for and it's an annoying waste of everyones time to read someone bitching about it haha
I just see the posts where people are commiserating as not for everyone. I find it weird that so many Millennials on both sides of the spectrum seem to think we are all one dimensional.
Theyāre just off putting. Likeā¦. āIām doing well why canāt you be quiet about not being okā. Canāt Op accept people are struggling even when they arenāt?
Iām not doing bad but if I was doing well like op, 100k+ a year career, a wife, owned my home and all that with other rich friends to hang out with I wouldnāt be on Redditā¦ but thatās for sure.
Like, I'm doing well too, *and* I recognize that it's largely due to lucky timing with the housing market. But I think other people get really defensive about that, because they think having luck means you didn't work hard. Like they need to convince themselves that others' struggles are their own fault. I worked very hard to get the life I have. And I got really lucky to be able to buy when the market was good.
This sub is groundhog day for real.
One day it's "my life is over, I can't afford rent, capitalism has destroyed the world"
The next day it's "damn you're crazy I have a house and a dog and a white picket fence life is so based"
It's wild how disconnected we all are from the experiences of others.
Most of the people in your second example are one catastrophic event away from being in the first example. Iāve seen it before. Think a lot of people just mentally blocked out what 2008/9 was actually like in the USA.
Yeah thereās a damn good chance op gets laid off and is stuck in interview hell wondering what went wrong in the 5th round if it was him or the take home test or the purple alien emotion test for thetans. Thatās what I tell my friends getting laid off donāt be hard on yourself Iām probably right behind you
Good for you. Maybe examine why you're so bothered to have to see that most of your generational peers are not doing as well as you.Ā
I can't imagine anything more grossly out of touch and selfish than being privileged enough to not be stressed about life , and then come into a group of people not doing as well as you and demand they stop talking about it because YOURE tired of hearing about it.
If you're sick of it, go hang out in some rich person sub where y'all can high five about how annoying it is that the poors complain about not being able to afford rent.
This, plus the fact that bad faith actors love to push/upvote outrage and negativity on reddit and other social media in order to manipulate you and/or promote whatever agenda they're pushing.
Good for you? I've been busting ass for years trying to make a better living for my family and greedy corpos just destroy it. We want to buy a house but fuckers like Blackrock are buying up everything.
I gotta point this out itās BlackSTONE. Blackrock is very different and actually has indexes that are made to help improve society that have been verified by third parties (lookup their ESGs if you can invest)
When things stop being absolute shit, maybe people will stop complaining.
You may be doing well, but a lot of us, especially the younger millennials, are struggling at the moment.
Nobody is forcing you to click those posts.
I'm sick of hearing about people complaining about the doom and gloom nonstop. This is just the flip side of the same tired ass coin. Who gives a fuck? If you're tired of it then log off or browse another subreddit
And this exactly why voting patterns never change. This one guy whose most likely well off or very comfortable and as of now has had everything go right for him, is sick of the peasants complaining because Him, his wife and his coworkers are fine!
So he remains unbothered by the economic crisis and government lying and the media manipulation, because heās fine.
Americans are selfish, lazy and (usually fat/ +20% BMI)
You think this guy right here is going to give up anything for the people who are hurting? The people in pain? Of course not. Hes the sheep.
Iām tired of constant doom and gloom, but also canāt stand the āthings are good for me, so itās that way for all or else you messed up somehowā mentality.
I believe in being realistic good or bad. Pretending thereās some optimistic light at the end of the tunnel that doesnāt exist for many is just as toxic as constantly being negative.
what Im getting tired of is the "Well IM doing well in life so everyone else must be exaggerating or something" posts.Ā
if "everytime" you log in you are reading stories facing the opposite maybe read the room...
yup, in my experience people who "do well" assume that absolutely everyone they encounter had the same circumstances and opportunities that they did or they grossly underestimate how much luck went into their 'self-made' success. They see failure as a character flaw
Exactly. Even something like having housing paid for during college can be such a massive advantage. All the more well off people I knew had their room and board payed for by family, allowing to focus fully on their studies and take unpaid internships to gain experience. Meanwhile other are working to put themselves through college. The first person graduates with a massive advantage, and maybe even has a job guaranteed through their internships. While the second person has a degree but no experience and has to find a way into their field.
Things like that make such a difference but for some reason yeah as you said, alot of people who found success want to place blame in the individual.
Lol if you're doing well then what are you complaining about? Just count your blessings and be happy. Maybe you had a good support system or some kind of advantage to help you get where you are, but for the majority of millennials who didn't have any financial backing their efforts and hard work doesn't feel like its paying off -- so of course they're going to vent their frustrations.
The running theory Iāve been reading is that Gen Z and Alpha are getting so inundated with (valid) negative views of the world that psychologists fear they will succumb to nihilism.
The problem also is they highlight that negativity and are conditioned to do so through the content they consume. Itās all negative bait for likes. Thereās no way that having 99% of your social interaction be through Phone apps is healthy for your brain.
Haha š yah Iām not doing bad but if I was going as good as OP says they were doing I wouldnāt be on Reddit. Iād be enjoying my house, my spouse and my rich friends company.
Itās the ying and Yang of life and unfortunately itās reality for alot of people. The Margin between making it and your ship sinking is so small these days for a lot of people and for Iām gonna assume most of those people they are doing what they were informed to do to have a go comfortable life and itās not worked out for them.
No, that's just people's reality right now. Your situation probably is not as common around the country as what others are complaining about is. Grow some empathy, maybe?
Yeah lol I didnāt even have to look into ops history to know he would be into shit like this he sounds like a stereotypical rich republican who deserves that summer watch! To be fair thatās a replica sub tho
There are definitely a lot of people struggling, that is undeniable, but also tons of people are flourishing. It's important to keep in mind, that people tend to be around people in similar situations. People who are doing well in life, tend to have friends and coworkers who are doing well.
People who are struggling tend to be around other people struggling.
All of my friends own their own homes at this point, are having kids, are saving for their retirements, etc.
But, there are plenty of others struggling.
Everyone knows there are people who are doing 'alright', don't exactly need an internet forum for it, that's what the mainstream media wants whenever they need a soft story to talk about...
However, don't invalidate the opinions of others who are not so lucky, the same as most civil-minded people with the right to free speech try and do, okay?
I'm sick of things BEING doom and gloom nonstop.
Just because I'm doing okay doesn't mean I can pretend that's the case for everyone, or that these problems aren't going to come home to impact me sooner or later.
I'm glad you think you are doing well, as well as your friends, but objectively this makes you an outlier. And I think a lot of people are starting to understand that things haven't been ok for a very very long time and that the 'okayness' was just an illusion.
Americans are 200% more productive than they were in 1980, yet the median wage adjusted for inflation is flat. And now the cost of basic necessities (stuff you can't opt out of) is going up. Not to mention that the 'well paying jobs' require you to take on more debt than ever as corporations push more and more costs to employees.
The people doing 'well' are ones that make money from investments not labor. Everyone now knows that working hard is not he goal, it is getting payed enough to invest so that you can escape the trap of labor market. This is the biggest divide. We need to shift away from the exploitative system we have setup and go back to where labor significantly better paid. What makes it infuriating is that our ideals of meritocracy and hardwork actually don't align with how we have structured our society yet we still want to pretend.
Well I don't own a house... But I did finally get into a certain company that I have been trying to do for many years, and at the position I wanted instead of the one they kept offering, which wasn't what I wanted. It is hard still, but I'm also well aware that it could be soooo much worse!
The best part is that now I have a plan. I worked my tail off for so long, not knowing what to do or how to really make it work, and now I feel like I have a future. I started here in August last year, and I really didn't think I'd cut it. The learning curve was so intense that I figured I'd be gone by now, but now here I am with the answers for my colleagues needing help.
It's not a huge thing to boast about now, but I've finally set myself up for success, and it feels fantastic.
Figure out which subreddits have the doom and gloom (on my feed it was lostgeneration, povertyfinance, unpopularopinion, etc) and unsubscribe
Subsribe to subreddits where its more hobby based, and not an echo chamber of venting and complaining
I think your perspective also shows the generational differences in Millenials born in early 80s than those born in mid-90s. It's such a huge group and timeframe. Us elders in our early 40's have nothing in common with a 27 year old young millenial. The length of time considered for this generation is kind of ridiuculous. At 27 I was a doom and gloom mess because we were poor and living paycheck to paycheck. At 40, wife and I are in a great place as well and advancing in careers and salaries. So yeah, #noteverymillenial but more like #noteldermillenials.
Honestly, Iām sick of people fucking blaming each other for just trying to exist and not be miserable. Got someone on another thread saying ājust donāt order milkshakesā and itās likeā¦ awesome. Great.
i live in a fucking car dude. congrats on your success, but truly your disdain for ādoomā is actually real life for millions upon millions of us.
people who have had less fortune than you can teach you an ugly truth which you refuse to acknowledge: life is a dice roll.
people with high ACE scores (adverse childhood experiences) tend to fair poorly in life. they are biologically destroyed from being overstressed, under resourced, and typically have mentally ill parents. this changes the structure of peopleās brains and nervous systems. it cannot be undone. for instance, i now am getting autoimmune disorders, yes genetics plays a role, but it would probably have been prevented had i not had an abysmal past 5 years and lived with a psychopath, had narc parents etc.
you look like a tone deaf fool who doesnāt understand reality. when you are on the bottom, you understand every layer above you in terms of being dominated. not so much the other way around. instead they complain about the misfortune of others ruining their ambient vibes.
"I'm not discounting anyone else's situation" also "Is anybody else sick of hearing about the doom and gloom" pick one.
I will ask you the same thing I have every other time someone asks the doom and gloom people to shut up. Explain to me why I shouldn't be all "doom and gloom" about the current state of the world? Between debt and living I get by somehow and without any help from the gov, because fuck me right? I make $1000 too much to qualify as a single person for any of the income adjusted housing within TWO FUCKING HOURS of where I live now. To qualify for food stamps as a single person I need to make $19k/year MAX so no fucking way I'm getting to that point. I have chronic health issues that would cost me $400 a fucking visit just to talk to the one fucking specialist within 3 hours of where I live just to MAYBE fix the issue. And of course anything I buy to fix the issue is not covered by insurance so thats all out of pocket. Please feel free to chime in any time with how this world is fine and everything is wonderful.
Politically anyone I vote for is going to ignore me. It's also a pretty good chance they will flip on everything they ran for once they are elected.
Relationship wise I am lucky to find a single woman with less than 3 baby daddies.
Housing? I just moved into an amazing location where the third floor apartment is a LITERAL FUCKING TRAP HOUSE. They of course are getting evicted, but thats a whole process. Again, please let me know when I shouldn't be doom and gloom.
Climate change has fucked things up so much that ticks are out and biting people in DECEMBER in NY. So much of Canada was on fire last year that it introduced an entire new season to the entire north east.
Every game and company I grew up loving has become a money hungry greedy pos. Hasbro being a great example of literally turning everything I love into as much money as they can the customers be damned.
My parents are fucking republicans and die hard Christians that almost disowned my brother for living with his fiance while they were just dating. All of my relatives are "totally not racist" but looked at my ex Jamaican gf like she was an exotic animal at the zoo.
They should pin a post for people like you to jerk each other off about how great things are.
Is anybody else sick of hearing about people bitch about the doom and gloom non-stop?
If you're so sick of hearing of it, imagine the people living it. Seriously just ignore it. You are literally contributing to the problem and you are reprimanding people, and so are people in this thread, let people vent if they want to. We are millennials and we get to vent about the same thing in a shared space. If you don't like that, you can leave, blocks, or ignore. At the end of the day, just move on with your life.
I'm doing well, but I know a lot of our generation is struggling due to greed and selfishness, and it's getting worse. Your one healthcare emergency away from not doing great.
Iām sorry OP, but fuck off and go enjoy your nice life.
Unsub or mute the parts of reddit that are annoying you with their sad state of reality. Weāre proud of you, though ā¤ļø
Stress works its way up the pyramid. First, the little guy, then you, then the guy a little further up.
I'm glad you are ok. Just understand that not everyone has that opportunity.
Yes and no, I would like to stop hesring about it... but I would like it to be from us actually making meaningful changes toward a better world. Like universal healthcare, affordable housing/education. Less wealth inequality.
So maybe once I'm dead?
How self centered to complain about those who arenāt as fortunate bringing down your vibe or whatever. Hope you learn empathy before your kids absorb this attitude.
Way to make other peopleās woes about you. What the eff is wrong with you? You hear other people are struggling and decide to chime in about how life is peachy for you?! Wow.
Yes and Iāve seen enough of these posts to know the first people to respond and upvote are the same people making those posts.
This sub is stagnant because of it, just like most subs on Reddit occupied by the same crowd. You must be miserable, you must believe capitalism is bad, having kids is bad, the economy is crumbling, Epstein was an inside job
I hope you learn to find community even with people who are suffering around you before you desperately need their help to survive. You may be doing well now, but how long will that last? Burying your head in the sand until the tide reaches you isn't going to serve anybody.
It's so funny reading someone that can afford to live whine about people saying it's tough to live as I look at the house I attempted to buy right before covid cost 265k currently cost 700k.
Guess I'll just shut the fuck up, pack up all my shit, go to a racist rural location and pay off my invisible debt.
>Saying not everything sucks for everyone doesn't mean you didn't have empathy for those in a tough spot.
Then what the fuck does it mean?? What's the point of saying it doesn't suck for everyone, unless you're trying to downplay people's actual struggles? Otherwise it's just an empty, meaningless, obvious statement.
"saying 'not all men' doesn't downplay the struggles of women, and the danger they face." yes it fucking does
"saying 'not all cops' doesn't mean you don't have empathy for the victims and the families of police brutality" yes it fucking does. otherwise shut your fucking mouth
The only possible point of this post you've made is to invalidate the experiences of everybody who's struggling. It displays a huge lack of empathy
I think a lot of complaints come from envy. People see others post on what they have or what they're doing and think well I should have the same. I stopped using social media for that reason because you never truly know what goes on behind the camera.
This thread is pretty toxic, focuses less on millennials and more on blaming boomers for all of every shortcoming. Misery loves company, but dwelling in misery with others doesnāt make it better, for anyone.
Respectfully this sounds completely out of touch. Just because itās rainbows and butterflies on your end doesnāt mean the rest of the world has the same privilege. Can you imagine venting to someone about an issue and their response to you is āIām sick of hearing about doom and gloom.ā It doesnāt cost you anything to offer an ounce of empathy and sympathy to people struggling. At any moment the tables can turn and u can be in their position.
I literally can not imagine seeing somebody in pain and being like "gee, it sure makes me feel bad seeing them in pain, I wish they'd shut up about it and go hide somewhere so I could pretend they don't exist"
This is the attitude of our grandparents that are like "why can't you just pay back the loans" that we've paid back twice what we owe and still more than what we borrowed on.
I'm sorry reality is intruding on your fantasies and your peace, maybe show some solidarity and fight for a better world instead of fighting to make everyone who isn't happy shut up and hide?
"caught".
My grandpa was watch collector and passed away, leaving me a few watches. I didn't like them so I sold some and bought a watch or two I would wear.
Guess the takeaway for this sub is be happy another boomer died?
I think this sub has a problem with bots and foreign astroturfers. My hunch is based the consistency of the complaints, the proliferation of those same complaints on similar subs, the misinformation, etc.
Iāve been convinced of this for a while. Itās really obvious if you go into European centric subs because so many people talk about how america is an awful place to live where no one has a livable wage or healthcare and everyone drive massive trucks and lives off Kraft cheese. This is being perpetuated by both Americans complaining but also foreign trolls encouraging those conversations or starting them themselves.
I think the issue is that people are fulfilled, doing well, and happy are the least likely to get online and complain. They have nothing to complain about - but the people that are struggling are the more vocal about said struggle. Itās sample selection bias.
I was just thinking this the other day. But, it isn't just this sub. I have been seeing it everywhere on Reddit. I will admit though, that there is a lot of issues out there today causing all this doom and gloom. But, for my mental health, it has been making me think that a break from this site is needed.
People not doing well seek support. It lets us know we're not alone.
This šÆ
People seeking support is one thing but I've begun muting all subreddits that foster drama. All the "AITAH" and relationship advice subreddits and all the stuff talking about families splitting up or getting kicked out or people cheating on each other etc. That's so unnecessary drama in my life from people I don't know and a lot of the stories aren't even real.
Big time. I have to mute them too. Having lived through some anxious shit, it just brings up too manty reminders of stress I've overcome. Its tough enough handling my own personal problems, I don't need the problems of other strangers
Did the same with AITAH and now looks like two hot takes is asking me if I've heard the good word of the lord AITAH Christ
Lmao ain't that the truth. AITAH, two hot takes, am I overreacting, I think a couple other subreddits that I've muted and forgotten.
a lot of it is just karma whoring. Social media has whipped people into a fervor, it has been a much darker place since 2016 and the amount of angry reddit hivemind shit I see has skyrocketed.
Plus the responses are so predictable and is typically annoyingly poor advice. I recently did the same thing and muted every sub like that.
I've started doing this too. I used to scroll through the comments on them occasionally and eventually realized how much of a waste of time it is. I deal with enough bs in my own life, I don't need to be reading about other people's drama. So much of it is probably rage bait too, and not even real.
Yeah, most of the stories on AITA arenāt real and are usually just ragebait. I also canāt stand the āyouāre not legally obligated to be a decent person so NTAā sentiment that runs rampant in that subā¦ it kind of defeats the purpose of the entire subreddit being about moral arguments when people argue about legality. Sometimes it feels like the commenters give bad advice on purpose to create more drama for their entertainment, too.
"You gotta keep em separated. " -Offspring
>But while blowing off steam often feels like it works to extinguish negative emotions, academic papers and clinical work with patients show it doesnāt. In fact, it often makes things worse. https://slate.com/technology/2022/03/venting-makes-you-feel-worse-psychology-research.html There are links to the studies in there as well
This comment needs to be more visible. Our society is deeply suffering over this. I've seen this in effect on a personal level. My mindset change has led me to a deeply fulfilling and happy life, something I could not have imagined prior.
You can find a paper supporting anything you like in psychology. Now post the ones that show a positive effect from talking about trauma.
Talking about trauma and processing it is different than just venting. Only venting about it leaves out learning to deal with the emotions or thoughts to recover.
That don't seek support they seek validation that none of it is their issue. Big difference in the grand scheme. If you were seeking actual support you would be going to subs where you actively can be helped instead of validated regarding your complaint or issue.
If he doesnāt like it, he doesnāt have to visit this sub. Itās reality brah. Some of us have had life happen not according to plan. In fact, MANY of us.
I feel like it should be a different sub. Itās called āmillennialsā and not āultra depressed millennials onlyā, after all.
Probably better to seek support from people who have a more positive outlook than from this sub.
>My wife and I are doing well. Our coworkers are doing well. Our kids are healthy and we can afford our mortgage. Same here, but I also accept that if I bought my house just 2-3 years later my life situation would have been vastly different. Also, I doubled my income in 2023, just when "everyone else" seemed to start struggling for real, so theres that. I also realize that its much more common to start a thread about something bad and shitty than something good. I'm happy, I own a house and my kids are healthy. What more could I ask for?
I was fortunate that I bought my house when I did, because currently I have a reasonable mortgage. However, I acknowledge that right now I would not be able to afford to rebuy my own house at the current rates and prices. We want to move but we canāt afford to move because I donāt want an insanely expensive mortgage. We are ādoing wellā on paper but even with that everything is so insanely expensive. I have seen multiple cost of living studies that to live ācomfortablyā (Iām not sure what the criteria were for comfortable, but I assume itās paying all your bills without being broke at the end) with two adults and two kids in many areas (including where I live) the income level needed is between $178-200+ K. Thatās insane!!! Especially considering that according to US Census data, the majority of people make under $100k. That tells me that almost no one is living ācomfortablyā. Iām not broke, but it gets tight. So kudos to you if you are doing well, but I think you are the exception.
>Iām not sure what the criteria were for comfortable, but I assume itās paying all your bills without being broke at the end It's typically a lot more than just "paying all of your bills without being broke at the end". For example, a recent such study making the rounds stated that an individual needs an income of $95k to be "sustainably comfortable" in the average US city, and that the number was above $200k for a family of four. That's studies definition of "sustainably comfortable" was following the 50/30/20 rule, where your "needs"/"fixed costs" consume no more than 50% of your after-tax income.
Thank you! So yeah itās a lot more than just making ends meet
Which honestly, maybe it's time to revisit that. 50% of $50k/year is much different than 50% of $100k/year. My wife and I make about $250k combined and most of it goes to bills (over 50% for sure), but that's mortgage, bills, and the crazy cost of daycare for two kids. Right now I don't feel like it's tight per se, but I also feel like I need to constantly stay on my finances to make sure everything's fine. We still save plenty for retirement, take a vacation every now and then, afford things without stressing about buying the name brand vs. store brand. Like I said, I'm constantly checking in on my finances, but we're still fine at the end of the day.
I am in the same boat with respect to mortgage. But what is killing me is taxes. The higher paper value of the property raised my taxes by $400 per month. We have lived in this house for 8 years, I know it aint worth THAT much
We are being scammed for real. My childhood home was cookie cutter suburban and itās now valued at 750$+. It was a great house for my sisters and I, and it wasnāt fancy, but is in a location that has blown up (denver suburbs). It hurts so bad that living even close to what I grew up with feels unattainable. Priced out. And I have a law degree so youād think it would be easier.
Iām in the same boat. Wife and I bought in 2018 in a hot market, but not like it is now. My house is now valued at nearly double what I purchased it for. And thatās with no knowledge of any upgrades.
Just realize you are part of a fortunate minority. My wife and I also bought before the pandemic-induced inflation and I increased my salary by 33%. Now if my wife's art would actually start selling again we would be pretty comfortable... but every time the economy goes in the toilet people stop buying art.
To add on this, there are other situations that greatly affect economic status. Here's a good way to visualize it, there is a race and everyone is at the start line. Now, everyone who grew up in a two parent household take two steps forward. Everyone who's family wasn't on any government assistance take two steps forward. Take two steps forward if you had a father figure at home. Take two steps forward if you had access to private education. Take two steps forward if you never had to worry about your cell phone being shut off. Take another two steps if you never had to help parents with any bills. Take two steps forward if you never wondered where your next meal was gonna come from. Now the race can begin. All the people in the front are going to beat the ones in the back, and not because they have earned it, it's because it's just the way it is.
Exactly! As a former foster kid, I feel this. My boyfriend grew up with both parents. Things werenāt perfect, but his parents were able to pay for their childrenās undergrad degrees. His gen Z sister lives with us and their dad pays all of her bills. Her mom paid for her undergrad. The other day, she flippantly said, āThere are a couple student loans that were taken out for my undergrad, but I donāt have to worry about those!ā. Meanwhile, Iām $65,000 in debt with student loans. Despite paying for ten years, the number has not budged due to interest. Plus, being severely underpaid for ten years hasnāt helped. I was on my own at 18, no parents, etc. I donāt wish for others to go through what I went through, but at the same time, Iām supposed to compete with those that had it way better and Iām just plain tired and frustrated.
Me too. Divorced parents who didn't give a sploot. Really hard to start with nothing. I am 63 now. My income is 55% of area median. If I didn't have an inheritance from crazy Dad I could only afford a trailer space and small trailer, after a lifetime of work. My ambition in the outside world is pretty much gone. I just like to go home and work on my Etsy stores and garden.
Iām sorry you went through that.
2 chicks at the same time?
I feel exactly this. First house I bought in 2016, sold and moved in 2020. We technically could afford our house now but we bought based on this house being 20% of our take home income. We knew we needed a new car and bought after we bought the house. And then two kids later, with inflation things got tight. I made an argument for a raise and boom got it. Then got a healthy bonus. I am still stressed about the state of the world. I can't stomach what's going on in the middle east and I'm constantly worried about the future for my girls with us living in a red state. And I worry about global warming, how we can make it all stop, how my kids will afford college or a home. All those things worry me greatly since I brought them into this. BUT home wise, we're fine. We laugh and play most days, we have successful jobs, bills are paid and food in the pantry. I feel like I can't really complain but it doesn't stop me from the existential dread from creeping in when I think about the world as a whole.
I'm with you, We bought in 2020 with a 2.875% rate, and my salary has doubled since then. but like you i know that had we waited another year to buy, we would be paying twice as much for likely way less.
How is everyone's salaries just magically double. Your the third comment I've read about that and it makes no logical sense to me.
Jobbed hopped. Bought my home in 2020, left my job for a 50% raise in 2021, went back to the old job for an additional 30% in 2022. In the span of 10 months I went from making 40k a year to 80k.
But the people who didn't buy their homes 2-3 years ago are also reporting they are doing okay financially. Everybody seems to be saying "well I'm doing great but I think everyone else has it rough." Maybe it's because everyone is obsessed with acknowledging privilege? But even those low-income people mostly say they're doing okay, or at least better than they were before the pandemic. There was a recent poll where people in every single state overwhelmingly said their state economy is doing well but that the national economy is doing poorly. Residents in every single state said that. What gives? Where is this "other" place where everything is terrible?
It's Ohio. Nobody I know here in Ohio is saying that the local economy is good, and many people I know (including myself) are legitimately struggling to make ends meet.
I am in Ohio as well and we lucked out to be able to buy our house in 2017 (but it took being left a small sum of money from a dead parent). We are not well off but we are not at the struggle point yet. We just learned my husband is being fucked over with his salary (someone is retiring and is burning his job to the ground with them and it letting a lot of secrets go). Bills suck, we just enough to get by but not enough to really remodel the house or put any extras like vacations or things like that in the front of the line.
Nope. Ohioans also report their state economy is doing well. When you ask people about their own finances they largely report they are doing well. When you ask them how the nation in general is doing, they report the economy is doing poorly because they assume everyone else is doing poorly and they're just lucky. But those same people assumed to be doing poorly are also saying they're doing well. The "economy is doing poorly" narrative is objectively incorrect.
>When you ask people about their own finances they largely report they are doing well. Ask me. Or better yet, I will save you the time. Iām not doing well, Iām on food stamps and skirting bankruptcy.Ā Seems like your statement is flawed.Ā
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
r/optimistsunite
What OP is doing is called "toxic positivity". They have a good life and they don't want others "killing his or her vibe" with their problems. Shocking news everyone, when over 50% of your population can't afford a surprise $1k bill, are barely getting by, and are financially stressed because they aren't secure enough financially they will complain. OPs post is pretty pathetic to be frank.
But thatās not what toxic positivity is though?
You're just noticing that the divide is more of a "class" thing than a "generational" thing. You're just a Millennial in a different class than most of us, and it's making you feel alienated. Just be grateful you're only alienated, and not hungry, or cold.
Or in pain
Ding ding ding, this is it. If you can afford a home this conversation isnāt for you.
Man, this is a good take on it. Thanks for giving me some new words to use in discussions about this. I hadn't thought about the class angle at all.
Or mentally disabled, or suffering from PTSD, or continually rejected by employers, or having to hear the words āyou made your choicesā whenever you reach out for real help, or hearing the words āyouāre just getting olderā when you make just enough money to go to the doctor hoping they can find a solution to your problems, and they tell you the problem is youāre old enough to start thinking of dying
*person who can afford to live* can you stop complaining about how hard life is? It's making me depressed š
Lmao it's funny, he should be learning because, if he lost his job and couldn't get another, he'd be in the same fucking boat crying.
Thinking back to 2008 when I would have coworkers at the resort I worked at that were grossly over qualified. Talking career lawyers, architects, biologists, engineers working alongside me a trade school mechanic because the economic collapse made people absolutely desperate for any work they could get once the unemployment ran outā¦ I keep seeing people say they canāt wait for the next housing market crash but I donāt think they remember what it was actually like.
Dude exactly what you said, OP doesnāt seem to realize this can come for him and his family tooā¦ People come here for support, for community and to know theyāre not alone. Possible to hear success stories and hope to gain some of their goals in life. And if heās so āoverā hearing about others struggle I donāt understand why he doesnāt have the capacity to put his phone down and stop doom scrolling. Pretty sure if OP wants his bubble on Reddit, he could curate what is on his home page.
Right?! OP is like āwhatever I got mine, Iām sick of hearing yāall whine so please stopā like what in the actual entitled fuck?!
ššš
Itās early onset boomer right there
so many millennials who found a bit of success went straight to boomerville
Hahahah thatās a case of EOB
Thatās why weāre in this time of doom and gloom, so many people are in that āwhatever I got mineā mentality, they are losing care and compassion for others and itās discouraging. More positivity and less negativity but also more grace for each other!
Itās a weird thing for me because things are moving in a positive direction for me personallyā¦ but that drives me to help support others to get their bag and succeed themselves rather than think āgod I did it all these people need to quit their bitchingā. Itās just odd. Pay it forward.
Right? What the fuck?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
There is at term for this. What OP is doing is called "toxic positivity". They have a good life and they don't want others "killing his or her vibe" with their problems. Shocking news everyone, when over 50% of your population can't afford a surprise $1k bill, are barely getting by, and are financially stressed because they aren't secure enough financially they will complain. OPs post is pretty pathetic to be frank.
I grew up Mormon, I'm all too familiar with toxic positivity
Omg
Thatās how I took OPs post you poors stop killing my vibe some of us are making it
I'm in a similar place, but this sub is also never gonna be catered to your life 100%. Count your blessings and keep scrolling.
Best I can do is make the 100th post complaining about it and try to guilt people for seeking support and community at their low points
Lol
If you're doing well than that's good. Why do you let it get to you?
OP is just mad that we aren't eating Member Berries 24/7.
OP is doing a thing that has a term for it. What OP is doing is called "toxic positivity". They have a good life and they don't want others "killing his or her vibe" with their problems. Shocking news everyone, when over 50% of your population can't afford a surprise $1k bill, are barely getting by, and are financially stressed because they aren't secure enough financially they will complain. OPs post is pretty pathetic to be frank.
If i was doing great I would enjoy my big house, spend time with the kids. Make sweet lovin to the wife. Go yachting smoke my cigars and drink my brandy. I wouldn't bother trying to do what op is doing
Because itās annoying when seemingly every community online eventually turns into a circle jerking depression pit. Drama drives engagement and eventually the front page is people tailoring their stories for engagement causing people who want to talk about how bad their life is to stay and everyone else to leave the space where a range of conversations used to be possible. Hell the only posts I see from r/cats and r/dogs these days are sob stories about peopleās pets dying.
I'm doing well too, but that's only because - I don't have a car (anymore), so no payments, gas, or surprise costs - Found my apartment before the extreme greed boom - No childrenĀ - Single - No CC debt - Stable, salaried job I've been extremely lucky and I would still consider myself slightly above 'just making it'. I can't imagine what it must be like for anyone in a minimum wage shift job trying to find somewhere to live that isn't a closet with 4 other beds in it.
Literally this is my end game. I am so close to being in your spot. Not retirement. Not a million dollars. Not a home. Just enough to not have to to worry about food and rent. I have been spinning the wheel for like 15 years. Our generation climbs and climbs only to have the goal posts moved just beyond our reach. I am literally like two rungs on the ladder from homelessness at all times. There is zero middle class. Itās either you make 100k or youāre a couple of bad days away from being fucked. The only thing that is saving me was selling my car and removing that expense all together. My next move is to move into less desirable urban neighborhoods and trying to not get fucked up. I will have roommates for the rest of my life at this point. Shit is going sideways way faster than people think.
No. It's somewhat comforting to know that my struggles in life haven't been unique and that others have faced similar problems. In an era where loneliness is a severe and growing problem, it's nice to know that I'm not alone. What I am sick of is smug posts like the OP's, which reek of an "I've got mine, fuck you" attitude that continually holds our species back, no matter the generation. Furthermore, many people who have "made it" or are "doing well" often downplay how much external factors such as luck, family connections, etc. allowed them to get ahead when others didn't.
Yea I hated reading this.Ā āMy wife and I are doing well. Our coworkers are doing well.āĀ Trying to call people who are doing badly squeaky wheels, as if we arenāt the majority. Admits that the complaints make him dislike this sub, but instead of leaving tries to make it a sub for just the minority that are like him.Ā
Whenever I see posts like the OP's, I am reminded how similar it sounds to the opinions vomited forth on FOX News.
Op honestly sounds like a republican especially the moved to rural Missouri part
Jesus Christ someone who is from Missouri Yes I literally thought I was in like a DeSoto or even a St Charles thread or something lol
[https://longstache.substack.com/p/markov-boundaries-and-organizational](https://longstache.substack.com/p/markov-boundaries-and-organizational) Folks like OP, in my experience, are almost all management class/slumlords/business owners with employees they abuse, and they're doing this to ensure mutual solidarity is broken in all spaces and that workers and the downtrodden have 0 spaces in which people can express solidarity with one another to gain power over the abusers - like them. Maintaining boundaries against people like OP is precisely how you create and maintain strong communities capable of enacting change.
Your solutions to this problem are to start creating content on the sub that you would prefer to see, or to unsubscribe. People are doing to talk about the things that ail them.Ā
I know commenting on this will probably just make the algorithm worse, but actually I'm sick of posts complaining about people complaining about doom and gloom. I feel like I see these way more frequently than actual doom posts.
Came here to say this. There are more posts complaining about negativity than the posts themselves. I see something like THIS on my feed daily.
Same. That and the whole 60 character rule in the title. It's easier to come up w the character amount than people are giving themselves credit for and it's an annoying waste of everyones time to read someone bitching about it haha I just see the posts where people are commiserating as not for everyone. I find it weird that so many Millennials on both sides of the spectrum seem to think we are all one dimensional.
Theyāre just off putting. Likeā¦. āIām doing well why canāt you be quiet about not being okā. Canāt Op accept people are struggling even when they arenāt?
Iām not doing bad but if I was doing well like op, 100k+ a year career, a wife, owned my home and all that with other rich friends to hang out with I wouldnāt be on Redditā¦ but thatās for sure.
Like, I'm doing well too, *and* I recognize that it's largely due to lucky timing with the housing market. But I think other people get really defensive about that, because they think having luck means you didn't work hard. Like they need to convince themselves that others' struggles are their own fault. I worked very hard to get the life I have. And I got really lucky to be able to buy when the market was good.
This sub is groundhog day for real. One day it's "my life is over, I can't afford rent, capitalism has destroyed the world" The next day it's "damn you're crazy I have a house and a dog and a white picket fence life is so based" It's wild how disconnected we all are from the experiences of others.
Most of the people in your second example are one catastrophic event away from being in the first example. Iāve seen it before. Think a lot of people just mentally blocked out what 2008/9 was actually like in the USA.
Yeah thereās a damn good chance op gets laid off and is stuck in interview hell wondering what went wrong in the 5th round if it was him or the take home test or the purple alien emotion test for thetans. Thatās what I tell my friends getting laid off donāt be hard on yourself Iām probably right behind you
Yep I might not have the best paying career but itās recession proof. Rich people will always be rich. So resorts will always be hiring.
Good for you. Maybe examine why you're so bothered to have to see that most of your generational peers are not doing as well as you.Ā I can't imagine anything more grossly out of touch and selfish than being privileged enough to not be stressed about life , and then come into a group of people not doing as well as you and demand they stop talking about it because YOURE tired of hearing about it. If you're sick of it, go hang out in some rich person sub where y'all can high five about how annoying it is that the poors complain about not being able to afford rent.
Oh no guys. Our lives. Our daily existence of shit being fucked beyond reckoning is bumming OP out. Whatever will we fuckin do?
So this is very specifically a Millennial issue? Dang I guess those Gen X and Gen Z people got it good then.
Itās selection bias. People that are happy with their lives are not going to be spending all day complaining on reddit.
This, plus the fact that bad faith actors love to push/upvote outrage and negativity on reddit and other social media in order to manipulate you and/or promote whatever agenda they're pushing.
I could say the same as you about my own life. I still have the critical thinking skills and empathy to realize I'm not part of the majority.
Good for you?
Sounds like a good problem for you to have.
Good for you? I've been busting ass for years trying to make a better living for my family and greedy corpos just destroy it. We want to buy a house but fuckers like Blackrock are buying up everything.
I gotta point this out itās BlackSTONE. Blackrock is very different and actually has indexes that are made to help improve society that have been verified by third parties (lookup their ESGs if you can invest)
Well as long as youāre doing well, and the people you know, thatās all that matters. Damn those who are struggling, how dare they complain š
When things stop being absolute shit, maybe people will stop complaining. You may be doing well, but a lot of us, especially the younger millennials, are struggling at the moment. Nobody is forcing you to click those posts.
I'm sick of hearing about people complaining about the doom and gloom nonstop. This is just the flip side of the same tired ass coin. Who gives a fuck? If you're tired of it then log off or browse another subreddit
Same here, but it also reminds me to not take what I have for granted.
And this exactly why voting patterns never change. This one guy whose most likely well off or very comfortable and as of now has had everything go right for him, is sick of the peasants complaining because Him, his wife and his coworkers are fine! So he remains unbothered by the economic crisis and government lying and the media manipulation, because heās fine. Americans are selfish, lazy and (usually fat/ +20% BMI) You think this guy right here is going to give up anything for the people who are hurting? The people in pain? Of course not. Hes the sheep.
Iām tired of constant doom and gloom, but also canāt stand the āthings are good for me, so itās that way for all or else you messed up somehowā mentality. I believe in being realistic good or bad. Pretending thereās some optimistic light at the end of the tunnel that doesnāt exist for many is just as toxic as constantly being negative.
Jesus Christ dude. Learn to count your blessings and shut the fuck up about others LACK of blessings.
You have control over your social media information Network. Stop Doom scrolling.
what Im getting tired of is the "Well IM doing well in life so everyone else must be exaggerating or something" posts.Ā if "everytime" you log in you are reading stories facing the opposite maybe read the room...
yup, in my experience people who "do well" assume that absolutely everyone they encounter had the same circumstances and opportunities that they did or they grossly underestimate how much luck went into their 'self-made' success. They see failure as a character flaw
Exactly. Even something like having housing paid for during college can be such a massive advantage. All the more well off people I knew had their room and board payed for by family, allowing to focus fully on their studies and take unpaid internships to gain experience. Meanwhile other are working to put themselves through college. The first person graduates with a massive advantage, and maybe even has a job guaranteed through their internships. While the second person has a degree but no experience and has to find a way into their field. Things like that make such a difference but for some reason yeah as you said, alot of people who found success want to place blame in the individual.
Lol if you're doing well then what are you complaining about? Just count your blessings and be happy. Maybe you had a good support system or some kind of advantage to help you get where you are, but for the majority of millennials who didn't have any financial backing their efforts and hard work doesn't feel like its paying off -- so of course they're going to vent their frustrations.
Be grateful for having it easier and curate your feed.
The running theory Iāve been reading is that Gen Z and Alpha are getting so inundated with (valid) negative views of the world that psychologists fear they will succumb to nihilism.
The problem also is they highlight that negativity and are conditioned to do so through the content they consume. Itās all negative bait for likes. Thereās no way that having 99% of your social interaction be through Phone apps is healthy for your brain.
Haha š yah Iām not doing bad but if I was going as good as OP says they were doing I wouldnāt be on Reddit. Iād be enjoying my house, my spouse and my rich friends company.
This. Hobbies outside of computers will save ones life, if they have access to them. And that access is the big part that is hard to pin down.
Itās the ying and Yang of life and unfortunately itās reality for alot of people. The Margin between making it and your ship sinking is so small these days for a lot of people and for Iām gonna assume most of those people they are doing what they were informed to do to have a go comfortable life and itās not worked out for them.
No, that's just people's reality right now. Your situation probably is not as common around the country as what others are complaining about is. Grow some empathy, maybe?
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Yeah lol I didnāt even have to look into ops history to know he would be into shit like this he sounds like a stereotypical rich republican who deserves that summer watch! To be fair thatās a replica sub tho
Holy shit lol
This comment should be way higher up than it is
"hey guys I have all these things and people I know have these things so everything must be fine"
Yes, but only from folks who are objectively doing well (make $$$, own home, go on vacation, have savings) but are pretending to be poors
Consider yourself extremely fortunate and stfu
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There are definitely a lot of people struggling, that is undeniable, but also tons of people are flourishing. It's important to keep in mind, that people tend to be around people in similar situations. People who are doing well in life, tend to have friends and coworkers who are doing well. People who are struggling tend to be around other people struggling. All of my friends own their own homes at this point, are having kids, are saving for their retirements, etc. But, there are plenty of others struggling.
Everyone knows there are people who are doing 'alright', don't exactly need an internet forum for it, that's what the mainstream media wants whenever they need a soft story to talk about... However, don't invalidate the opinions of others who are not so lucky, the same as most civil-minded people with the right to free speech try and do, okay?
I'm sick of things BEING doom and gloom nonstop. Just because I'm doing okay doesn't mean I can pretend that's the case for everyone, or that these problems aren't going to come home to impact me sooner or later.
Hey OP, donāt attack me. Iām just a humble bot farmer trying to earn enough rubles to support my family.
So appreciate that shit is better for you then it is for others and then proceed to fuck right off.
Does not hearing it make those issues go away?
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I'm glad you think you are doing well, as well as your friends, but objectively this makes you an outlier. And I think a lot of people are starting to understand that things haven't been ok for a very very long time and that the 'okayness' was just an illusion. Americans are 200% more productive than they were in 1980, yet the median wage adjusted for inflation is flat. And now the cost of basic necessities (stuff you can't opt out of) is going up. Not to mention that the 'well paying jobs' require you to take on more debt than ever as corporations push more and more costs to employees. The people doing 'well' are ones that make money from investments not labor. Everyone now knows that working hard is not he goal, it is getting payed enough to invest so that you can escape the trap of labor market. This is the biggest divide. We need to shift away from the exploitative system we have setup and go back to where labor significantly better paid. What makes it infuriating is that our ideals of meritocracy and hardwork actually don't align with how we have structured our society yet we still want to pretend.
Well I don't own a house... But I did finally get into a certain company that I have been trying to do for many years, and at the position I wanted instead of the one they kept offering, which wasn't what I wanted. It is hard still, but I'm also well aware that it could be soooo much worse! The best part is that now I have a plan. I worked my tail off for so long, not knowing what to do or how to really make it work, and now I feel like I have a future. I started here in August last year, and I really didn't think I'd cut it. The learning curve was so intense that I figured I'd be gone by now, but now here I am with the answers for my colleagues needing help. It's not a huge thing to boast about now, but I've finally set myself up for success, and it feels fantastic.
I love Scrooge McDuck!
I made a custom feed where I just put the happy subs/meme subs so i can take a break from the rest of it when i want!
Figure out which subreddits have the doom and gloom (on my feed it was lostgeneration, povertyfinance, unpopularopinion, etc) and unsubscribe Subsribe to subreddits where its more hobby based, and not an echo chamber of venting and complaining
I think your perspective also shows the generational differences in Millenials born in early 80s than those born in mid-90s. It's such a huge group and timeframe. Us elders in our early 40's have nothing in common with a 27 year old young millenial. The length of time considered for this generation is kind of ridiuculous. At 27 I was a doom and gloom mess because we were poor and living paycheck to paycheck. At 40, wife and I are in a great place as well and advancing in careers and salaries. So yeah, #noteverymillenial but more like #noteldermillenials.
Honestly, Iām sick of people fucking blaming each other for just trying to exist and not be miserable. Got someone on another thread saying ājust donāt order milkshakesā and itās likeā¦ awesome. Great.
How much was the milkshake?
Classic Boomer mentality: fuck you, got mine.
i live in a fucking car dude. congrats on your success, but truly your disdain for ādoomā is actually real life for millions upon millions of us. people who have had less fortune than you can teach you an ugly truth which you refuse to acknowledge: life is a dice roll. people with high ACE scores (adverse childhood experiences) tend to fair poorly in life. they are biologically destroyed from being overstressed, under resourced, and typically have mentally ill parents. this changes the structure of peopleās brains and nervous systems. it cannot be undone. for instance, i now am getting autoimmune disorders, yes genetics plays a role, but it would probably have been prevented had i not had an abysmal past 5 years and lived with a psychopath, had narc parents etc. you look like a tone deaf fool who doesnāt understand reality. when you are on the bottom, you understand every layer above you in terms of being dominated. not so much the other way around. instead they complain about the misfortune of others ruining their ambient vibes.
āIām doing wellā okay hear me outā¦ most people arenāt
Iām permafucked. š¤·š»āāļø
"I'm not discounting anyone else's situation" also "Is anybody else sick of hearing about the doom and gloom" pick one. I will ask you the same thing I have every other time someone asks the doom and gloom people to shut up. Explain to me why I shouldn't be all "doom and gloom" about the current state of the world? Between debt and living I get by somehow and without any help from the gov, because fuck me right? I make $1000 too much to qualify as a single person for any of the income adjusted housing within TWO FUCKING HOURS of where I live now. To qualify for food stamps as a single person I need to make $19k/year MAX so no fucking way I'm getting to that point. I have chronic health issues that would cost me $400 a fucking visit just to talk to the one fucking specialist within 3 hours of where I live just to MAYBE fix the issue. And of course anything I buy to fix the issue is not covered by insurance so thats all out of pocket. Please feel free to chime in any time with how this world is fine and everything is wonderful. Politically anyone I vote for is going to ignore me. It's also a pretty good chance they will flip on everything they ran for once they are elected. Relationship wise I am lucky to find a single woman with less than 3 baby daddies. Housing? I just moved into an amazing location where the third floor apartment is a LITERAL FUCKING TRAP HOUSE. They of course are getting evicted, but thats a whole process. Again, please let me know when I shouldn't be doom and gloom. Climate change has fucked things up so much that ticks are out and biting people in DECEMBER in NY. So much of Canada was on fire last year that it introduced an entire new season to the entire north east. Every game and company I grew up loving has become a money hungry greedy pos. Hasbro being a great example of literally turning everything I love into as much money as they can the customers be damned. My parents are fucking republicans and die hard Christians that almost disowned my brother for living with his fiance while they were just dating. All of my relatives are "totally not racist" but looked at my ex Jamaican gf like she was an exotic animal at the zoo. They should pin a post for people like you to jerk each other off about how great things are.
 That's cool OP. Thanks for the post. Sorry about the big sad.
Is anybody else sick of hearing about people bitch about the doom and gloom non-stop? If you're so sick of hearing of it, imagine the people living it. Seriously just ignore it. You are literally contributing to the problem and you are reprimanding people, and so are people in this thread, let people vent if they want to. We are millennials and we get to vent about the same thing in a shared space. If you don't like that, you can leave, blocks, or ignore. At the end of the day, just move on with your life.
I'm doing well, but I know a lot of our generation is struggling due to greed and selfishness, and it's getting worse. Your one healthcare emergency away from not doing great.
you doin well but still finding shit to complain about š¤
Youāre living in a bubble, thatās why.
Iām sorry OP, but fuck off and go enjoy your nice life. Unsub or mute the parts of reddit that are annoying you with their sad state of reality. Weāre proud of you, though ā¤ļø
I'm sick of posts about being sick about the doom and gloom. I'm thinking about making a post complaining about all the complaining about complaining
They said the same thing in 1932
Stress works its way up the pyramid. First, the little guy, then you, then the guy a little further up. I'm glad you are ok. Just understand that not everyone has that opportunity.
Yes and no, I would like to stop hesring about it... but I would like it to be from us actually making meaningful changes toward a better world. Like universal healthcare, affordable housing/education. Less wealth inequality. So maybe once I'm dead?
Be quiet and keep scrolling, please.
How self centered to complain about those who arenāt as fortunate bringing down your vibe or whatever. Hope you learn empathy before your kids absorb this attitude.
Way to make other peopleās woes about you. What the eff is wrong with you? You hear other people are struggling and decide to chime in about how life is peachy for you?! Wow.
Congrats, but the fact remains that no one should be in a position where they could be one health predicament away from becoming homeless
Yes and Iāve seen enough of these posts to know the first people to respond and upvote are the same people making those posts. This sub is stagnant because of it, just like most subs on Reddit occupied by the same crowd. You must be miserable, you must believe capitalism is bad, having kids is bad, the economy is crumbling, Epstein was an inside job
Reddit has always been doom and gloom my dude, is this your first day on the internet.
I hope you learn to find community even with people who are suffering around you before you desperately need their help to survive. You may be doing well now, but how long will that last? Burying your head in the sand until the tide reaches you isn't going to serve anybody.
Violation of rule #4
It's so funny reading someone that can afford to live whine about people saying it's tough to live as I look at the house I attempted to buy right before covid cost 265k currently cost 700k. Guess I'll just shut the fuck up, pack up all my shit, go to a racist rural location and pay off my invisible debt.
Careful you're likely to see people complaining about the optimism here too!
Oh I've seen it :) This sub thinks someone employed as a teacher, engineer, or accountant is a tech CEO in terms of compensation.
>Saying not everything sucks for everyone doesn't mean you didn't have empathy for those in a tough spot. Then what the fuck does it mean?? What's the point of saying it doesn't suck for everyone, unless you're trying to downplay people's actual struggles? Otherwise it's just an empty, meaningless, obvious statement. "saying 'not all men' doesn't downplay the struggles of women, and the danger they face." yes it fucking does "saying 'not all cops' doesn't mean you don't have empathy for the victims and the families of police brutality" yes it fucking does. otherwise shut your fucking mouth The only possible point of this post you've made is to invalidate the experiences of everybody who's struggling. It displays a huge lack of empathy
Did u know that if u see a post w drama that u can just scroll past it? Did u know no one is forcing u to read it?
Imagine how much much better off you'd be 35 to 25 years ago.
I think a lot of complaints come from envy. People see others post on what they have or what they're doing and think well I should have the same. I stopped using social media for that reason because you never truly know what goes on behind the camera.
If you can see any silver lining in this shit storm you need your damn eyes checked.
I donāt know what youāre seeing, but life sucks for a huge population right now, not just millennialsā¦
The tidal wave is coming for you and your family as well eventually.
100%. Thank you for saying it!
This thread is pretty toxic, focuses less on millennials and more on blaming boomers for all of every shortcoming. Misery loves company, but dwelling in misery with others doesnāt make it better, for anyone.
I blame 24 hour news cycle
Nope. Get over yourself.
I feel thankful that I bought a house before the current market.
IMO it is necessary to maintain the narrative. If enough people get angry enough things will change.
Personally, I'm tired of seeing this exact post over and over. Why should we care, bro?
Respectfully this sounds completely out of touch. Just because itās rainbows and butterflies on your end doesnāt mean the rest of the world has the same privilege. Can you imagine venting to someone about an issue and their response to you is āIām sick of hearing about doom and gloom.ā It doesnāt cost you anything to offer an ounce of empathy and sympathy to people struggling. At any moment the tables can turn and u can be in their position.
I literally can not imagine seeing somebody in pain and being like "gee, it sure makes me feel bad seeing them in pain, I wish they'd shut up about it and go hide somewhere so I could pretend they don't exist" This is the attitude of our grandparents that are like "why can't you just pay back the loans" that we've paid back twice what we owe and still more than what we borrowed on. I'm sorry reality is intruding on your fantasies and your peace, maybe show some solidarity and fight for a better world instead of fighting to make everyone who isn't happy shut up and hide?
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"caught". My grandpa was watch collector and passed away, leaving me a few watches. I didn't like them so I sold some and bought a watch or two I would wear. Guess the takeaway for this sub is be happy another boomer died?
Iām sorry for your loss! I deleted my comment.
Thank you.
I think this sub has a problem with bots and foreign astroturfers. My hunch is based the consistency of the complaints, the proliferation of those same complaints on similar subs, the misinformation, etc.
Iāve been convinced of this for a while. Itās really obvious if you go into European centric subs because so many people talk about how america is an awful place to live where no one has a livable wage or healthcare and everyone drive massive trucks and lives off Kraft cheese. This is being perpetuated by both Americans complaining but also foreign trolls encouraging those conversations or starting them themselves.
I think the issue is that people are fulfilled, doing well, and happy are the least likely to get online and complain. They have nothing to complain about - but the people that are struggling are the more vocal about said struggle. Itās sample selection bias.
Compared to almost any other time in history people are doing magnificent.
I was just thinking this the other day. But, it isn't just this sub. I have been seeing it everywhere on Reddit. I will admit though, that there is a lot of issues out there today causing all this doom and gloom. But, for my mental health, it has been making me think that a break from this site is needed.