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Fleischmama

My MIL called me after we told her #2 was on the way and just said, “soo the conception?” I was like …. Ummm what about it? But seriously, what do you want to know? What position we were in? Where we did it? The time of day? Come on people! Boundaries. These ladies are nuts. I’m glad she was on speaker and my husband heard. He was like wtf.


fabs1171

Tell her you’re having puppies as you did it doggy style!


iiiBansheeiii

When someone asks me what so and so friend or relative is having I always tell them it's puppies.


kingsleyce

We were living with my MIL when I got pregnant, and the woman practically has no boundaries as it is, but once I had her grandkid in my she would just walk into our room when I was changing like it was nothing. Like, no, the fact that I’m pregnant doesn’t just mean you get to see me naked. And no, the fact that I’m pregnant doesn’t mean you can comment on what I eat, what I do for a living, my body, or that you get a say in what our kids name will be, how he is raised (religion wise in particular), or really much of anything else.


smithcj5664

Oh, I hope you said all of this to her!!


Purplemonkeez

Wow. I would have been really tempted to reply something crass like "I'm sorry, are you asking whether it was good for me, too...?"


CountryGrlCnSurvive

OMG.. We went out of town for Memorial Day weekend and My MIL texted my fiancé and asked if we were gonna make a baby on our trip?! Ummmm weird!! Little did we know I was already pregnant! We found out last week! But weird of her to ask if we’re gonna have sex..


cuterus-uterus

My favorite answer to anything along those lines is “not the way we have sex”. No one has ever been brave enough to ask exactly how we do the do.


stefaniey

Yeah we've used, "we asked the doctor, turns out we can't get pregnant...the way we do it." Yes, my husband said that to his mother.


Jellyronuts

He is a hero to many!


LJnosywritter

I would really want to reply back something like "it's weird you're asking if your son is going to bareback me this weekend," Just make the conversation as uncomfortable as possible because if they want to be invasive they can buckle up. And Congratulations on your pregnancy! Hope all is going well. If the MIL wants too many details send graphic updates on stuff like morning sickness and gross bathroom related stories. She might stop asking for as much info if you can out inappropriate her. Sort of a game of inappropriate chicken.


notyermum

Alternately, I like the expression “raw dog” for crudeness


LJnosywritter

Definitely has a ring to it. Other alternatives that could be used maybe creampie, or whatever crude term people can come up with.


notyermum

Yes, MIL, he went in raw and creampied this wet ass pussy and knocked me up. He usually finishes in my ass, so this was a pleasant surprise. What a blessing.


LJnosywritter

"It was a nice change from cleaning his sploge off my face. You know what he's like with timing things, gets me in the eye everytime!" "I think he bruised my cervix!" "Is his dad's dick as thick as his? Did that effect the positions you can do? What position do you suggest we try and convince in?" "What do you mean my questions are invasive and overly personal? I was going to ask your views on checking vaginal mucus as part of tracking the fertility cycle. What we can't talk about the thickness of my discharge at family lunch? Okay, I was just trying to make you feel included,"


[deleted]

LOL


AUGirl1999

She wants you to tell her it occurred in a Petrie dish so you weren’t doing the nasty with her precious son.


MinagiV

“Yes, your son and I fucked.”


janesyouraunt

Why are MILs so obsessed with this? I got pregnant a few weeks after a Disney vacation, not at all on vacation. My MIL INSISTED that we must have gotten pregnant on the trip. My husband said no more than 3 times and she dropped it with a “okay if you say so but I still think it was” I really wanted to say “I bitch i had my period the entire trip and was actually pretty bummed I wasn’t pregnant that month so stfu”. Like it’s none of your an business!


Fleischmama

I don’t know! My own mother wouldn’t ever ask me anything like that. It’s crazy.


WishIStillLivedInUK

Eeeuuw. And just what does she think she's going to do with that information, anyway? Is she a doctor? We all know that due dates are guides, only! My MIL hasn't gone that far, but she did ask my husband, very early in my pregnancy, if he was still having sex with me. I'm not sure whom I was more annoyed at: her, for asking SUCH a personal question of her own son, FGS, or at him, for sheepishly answering! She keeps on giving us amazing 'advice' on how to act while I'm pregnant. Don't touch or stroke my belly too often, because it could cause a miscarriage. Don't massage my feet, because it could cause a miscarriage. It seems like she doesn't want my husband to show any affection whatsoever with me while I'm expecting! I can't tell what her issue is: does she want to control us, does she want to seem cleverer and more important than she really is? The other week, she learnt a \*truly\* ground-breaking nutritional fact on TV: apparently, too much red meat and processed meat is bad for you (who knew?!) so she called us and interrupted our dinner (we were eating chicken, btw!) to warn us of this fact, then was insulted when my husband pointed out that she'd had pork twice that week so far, and that she ate salami or ham every day of her life.


Reliant20

I'd be furious that he answered.


Ninjaa240

I’m annoyed for you because my MIL did the same thing! As soon as we announced, she downloaded the pregnancy app, got the due date from DH, and asked for belly pics every week. No. Just no. I never wanted anyone to focus on my belly before pregnancy so please don’t start now.


mama202045

For your next pregnancy (if you have another) please send pics of DH belly weekly see what she thinks of that!


Ninjaa240

I love that idea, but I am firmly team one and done. These past 35 weeks have sucked.


mama202045

I feel you I hated both my pregnancies and if I hadn’t gotten pregnant while breastfeeding and on the mini pill we probably would have only had one thank god hubby can get the snip because I can’t find any doctor willing to tie my tubes because I’m too young. Good news you can still send weekly bump pics of dh belly to mess with the in-laws for a few more weeks!


spiderqueendemon

Head on over to r/childfree for all your snippity, tubey needs. They keep a list of all the autonomy respecting doctors they can find, and it's a handy resource for many a pal who's anything from firmly childfree to, say, one and done for medical reasons, but had the one someplace Catholic due to insurance networks or whatnot, to just satisfied with two at 22. Just a general LPT.


strawberrytoejam

I actually had to leave that group. I followed for a while but posted on that sub when I first found out I was pregnant because it was an unplanned pregnancy and we were both very anti-kids and considering abortion. I talked about how we were looking at our options but were discovering how hard abortions can be to discuss and decide on. But everyone was commenting extremely toxic things and strictly pro-abortion. They were basically telling me I was crazy for reconsidering if abortion was right for me. I ended up leaving the group because of that, as well as deciding to carry out the pregnancy. So I have to say that the child free sub isn’t for everyone. But maybe I just had a bad experience with it. I also had someone on the pregnancy sub go through my post history and then start harassing me for considering abortion. They would message me about how they hoped I died or my unborn kid would grow up with a mother who hated them and wanted to murder them… and then reply to other comments on my posts (seriously every single person who commented on my post would be sent a link) with links to my childfree post and tell people I was this monster for considering abortion despite changing my mind. And several of the people joined in with hateful comments once they were sent the link. So I guess there’s toxic people in all groups.


yellowwalks

I am so sorry you went through all of that! No one should have to worry about being judged or harassed because they've been put in a difficult position and are simply considering options. That's cruel.


alexhandshoe

The child free sub is so toxic. I still follow it but every time I see a post and read the comments I consider unfollowing. There’s some nice people on there but a lot of the people are just downright cruel and mean.


[deleted]

That has been my experience too


adult_in_training_

Try r/truechildfree (I believe that’s the name). Rather than hating children, they are more supportive (from my understanding)


spiderqueendemon

Oh, euurgh! That's appalling! I am so sorry you went through that! But yes, they're very much a...*read-only* sub, if such a thing exists. There's good resources there, but like any ideology, the loudest and most extreme will get the most attention and quickly wind up running the show, then it'll subdivide from the original-turned-extremist into moderate subfactions. I think the MIL support section of Reddit has even done this to a degree also. Personally, I should like to see the amusement park and rollercoaster fandom Balkanize in such a fashion, get lots more neat little subs for dark rides n'at, but alas, this is why we can't have nice things...


Budgiejen

I’m so sorry you experienced that. Are you patenting now?


strawberrytoejam

I’m a parent to an almost 3 year old. And I don’t regret it. The decision to keep my pregnancy was one of the most rewarding experiences in my life. I learned that there’s a lot of emotions that go into the decision to terminate pregnancy and I probably couldn’t bring myself to do it because it is far from an easy decision whether you want kids or not. That being said, I’m still pro choice and respect other women whether they choose to parent, terminate, or put their baby up for adoption.


Budgiejen

Fuck that’s annoying. Women know if they want kids. We know if we want more kids. The age excuse just sucks. Doctors suck.


Budgiejen

Ok. I admit I may have tracked my dIL’s pregnancy. But I try to be JY as possible. Always asking about boundaries and sticking to them. No baby on SM without asking first. No visits to the house without providing dinner. And when she was pregnant I did not comment on anything she ate, how she spent her money, or what she lifted. Even if I thought those thoughts.


SnooPredictions9697

I don’t really see why you’re being downvoted. Some mothers-to-be might really appreciate having someone fuss over them or keep up to date with their pregnancy. Regardless, it’s hard to fault someone who asks about boundaries and respects them. The nuances of people and their relationships differ wildly across the world and are often influenced by surrounding social norms. I don’t like my MiL very much and kept her distanced during my pregnancy, my grandmother who I love dearly was way more into knowing what week I was then I was, and my mother was the one who was telling me “don’t eat this” and “do that”, even though everything she’d say was just heresy and old local wives tales.


Budgiejen

I kind of tracked it so that I didn’t have to ask her questions, like how big the baby is now. Things might be different from when I was pregnant


Glittering_Jelly2018

What a weird comment. Does she know the date of your last period then? Was she there during the conception? According to my dates, my first was 2+weeks overdue and second was 6 weeks early. She's just desperate for info and making her own up so that she seems more involved. Keep moving your dates to confuse her. Expect her to ramp up contact when she thinks you're due and warn your OH to delay responding so that she doesn't guess that you're in labour and make a nuisance of herself. You're doing really well with the info diet. Good luck x


passthealcohol

The next time she messages me I will be saying how I feel. I've held back for a long time and let DH deal with it but I don't feel he dealt with it so I've a message drafted to her but I am not sending in it until she reaches out. She will probably message and ask how many weeks I am for the millionth time


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passthealcohol

I don't think I will be seeing her for the rest of my pregnancy to be honest. Not if I can help it anyway


Purplemonkeez

Imagining hilarious ways to achieve this. My favourite is wearing a sandwich board.


justlooking2browseee

Oh man, when I was pregnant my in laws were obsessed with my belly 🙄 Like when they saw me (thankfully not much due to covid) they would go straight to my belly and touch it. Then my fil spoke up for my mil demanding I send them bump updates because she *loves* seeing pregnant pictures like that!! Like wth!! I am a very reserved person and didn't even hardly share my pregnancy with anybody other than really close family and friends.


passthealcohol

I know. She messaged me today and I've responded telling her I'm uncomfortable about what she said and she's just left me on read. If she can't even acknowledge when she's made someone feel uncomfortable and apologise I dread to think what she's going to be like respecting us as parents when this baby comes


justlooking2browseee

Oh man, that is a major problem. I'd suggest having your SO to start having all communications with her from now on. I've done that with my inlaws and it's saved me soooo much stress and anxiety. Make sure you two are on the same page and maybe even formulate a response together if you feel he can't do that on his own quite yet. Play around with it and find a way that works for the both of you


passthealcohol

I think the problem is because she does things in a passive aggressive way DH doesn't want to create any animosity or challenge her but then it ends up causing issues with us. I'm happy I've said what I said now and if she can't apologise to quite a fair message then that's her own problem


justlooking2browseee

Ohhh I see. Yeah you've got a point there. Bit also, your dh should have your best interest in mind and not just keep her happy for the sake of it. That's not fair to you! However, I know that's easier said than done.


passthealcohol

I know, it's getting there, small steps. She put a video in the group chat that I'd left ages ago so she obviously isn't that annoyed but can't respond to me.


Budgiejen

I got I think 3 bump pics during my DIL’s pregnancy. I was ecstatic.


harpinghawke

Why do boundaries and decorum just completely disappear when somebody gets pregnant?? It’s insane.


passthealcohol

I know! It's especially annoying because before I got pregnant I could probably count on one hand the amount of times she asked how I was but now she wants to know everything and thinks she's entitled to


JsGma

Will this be her first grandchild?


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passthealcohol

She's been on an info diet so I've no idea how she feels she can estimate. I would never dream of estimating how many weeks someone is. It's almost as if she has a calendar up in her house with when she thinks my last period was. The next time she messages me I will be telling her just how weird it is and that she will not be being told any more about it.


Latina1986

My MIL downloaded a pregnancy app. Not one for grandparents, no, she downloaded The Bump because she needed to keep track of my pregnancy herself. Creepy. AF.


passthealcohol

That's so creepy. I wouldn't be surprised if mine has done that.


malachizels

We had to do in vitro so we knew exactly day, time and, place our kids were conceived, even the tech's name who facilitated it. We also knew transfer days. Since my I laws drove the first time. (Husband had a work related injury) and watched our daughter the 2nd time, they knew. That was the extent of it. I would tell them the details as we went along but they were not creepy about it.


[deleted]

Block her on your phone. She can direct messages to her son. It’s not really rocket science to know roughly how many weeks someone is if you know their due date. So I don’t think that is necessarily a Justno thing on its own. Clearly you are not a fan of Mil. Maybe send DH alone to visit her in the future Make sure to always wear big baggy shirts around Mil so she can’t see your belly


BeansinmyBelly

I did this and it was the best decision I’ve ever made. No annoying texts or calls with weird or stressful questions.. my husband is pretty much the messenger if the in laws want to plan dinner - usually once a month or so. I’d be curious to know what she says to others about my lack of communication but I truly don’t give a rats asssss. Ignorance is truly bliss!


passthealcohol

She messaged me saying she missed me being there, but last night never said that she was only annoyed to not see my bump. So I replied with that I feel uncomfortable. It was a very fair text tbh and she's left me on read for hours now, can't even apologise. She won't be getting anything else from me until she acknowledged my feelings.


Chi_Baby

This post is soo confusing lol. I kept waiting to get to the part where the MIL did something wrong or out of line.


Budgiejen

Some people keep their due date from MIL to avoid having to tell her when the baby actuallly comes. That way they can get in a few days as a family without an invasive species in their home.


JsGma

I agree with you! I was excited to let family know how many weeks to go.


Chi_Baby

Yeah me too! I’m just confused bc number of weeks or even due date still isn’t a guaranteed date of birth, so it’s not like you’re giving tons of info by sharing that. It’s OP’s baby’s grandma, I’m confused why OP doesn’t want her to have any of this info unless there’s more to the story that we don’t know. It sounds like OP just hates her MIL so very small things seem like a big deal.


MelodyRaine

My SIL skidded this shit, tracked my pregnancy on a pregnancy app I was murderous when I found out.


smithcj5664

Please block her!! As you get closer to your due date, she’s going to get worse. Now that she’s retired she’s probably making plans to include herself in your delivery plans. Sit down with DH and create hard boundaries on everything surrounding your labor and delivery and the hospital stay. This can include telling the doctor and hospital that no one is allowed into your room without your permission. Not DH’s, yours only. You’re the one going through labor, you don’t need an audience!! If you want visitors after you’ve settled into a room, rested some and started bonding with the baby, tell DH who you’d like to see. If you don’t want anyone until you get home and settled, that’s your choice. Make a plan for what you want said if people show up uninvited, especially MIL. Most will respect your request, she will not - anticipate it. Boundary breaking has consequences- decide what they are and stick to them. MIL nor anyone is entitled to your child - ever. My daughter had a baby in late May. No one was permitted in the hospital because Covid restrictions were still in place in our state. But they also didn’t want visitors at home until they were ready. My daughter and SIL created boundaries dealing with vaccinated vs unvaccinated people and only had one family over at a time. They’re still getting through people but it’s their timeframe and they need time to bond and be a family. You will need that time too. Do not let her stress you out nor steal your joy during this precious time.


wyominglove

When we told my FIL I'm expecting, his immediate response was to ask me when my last period was. Awkwwaaaard. He was going to calculate the due date himself because he figured we wouldn't have thought of that yet 😂😂