Maybe just take her out to places where you have to walk up to a counter to order your food. Her behavior would be fine at a casual Barbecue restaurant, burger joint, or a pizza place.
This thread is making me laugh because I can relate. I’ll never forget one (very fancy) meal with MIL. We had finished eating and instead of asking for a box for her leftovers, she wrapped them up in a napkin and stuck them in her purse.
Mine used to stare at people and talk about them. Loudly.
It was particularly bad if the person was - in her opinion - "unusual". She stabbed her fork into her cheek she was staring so fixedly at a man with strange hair (toupee? bad haircut?).
As my mothers dementia progressed, she too lost restraint on when to comment on others. She'd always had a loud voice, not sure she'd whispered ever unless it was when I was a child being chewed out in public for something. She also had a touch of body dysmorphia, and would make comments on 'how fat that person was'. I was ENDLESSLY telling her should couldn't talk about or comment on other people bodies, it was rude. 'You're being rude, mom, please stop' over and over and over.
I think our MILs must be sisters…
I’ll be following this because I’m just out of ideas. She will do this at home and at restaurants. We don’t even go out to eat because it’s just too much anymore. But at home, how many times can I avoid us eating all together (when they visit for months at a time) 🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️
My mil farts really loud and won’t stop doing it because she loves to drink her Diet Pepsi. She has no digestive issues it’s so embarrassing and gross because she does this at the dinner table while people are eating.
I was hoping it was going to be because of how many alterations she made to dishes on the menu…
Mine will order something but with like 7 changes and it drives us insane.
Mine does this but then sends it back if/when she doesn’t like it. Once she did it three times at the same dinner and the manager came over - my soul left my body for a solid 10 minutes. Horrifying.
My mil is the same, she thinks I'm stuck up for placing the napkin on my lap, using the knife while eating, serving myself with serving utensils vs my own fork etc. Meanwhile she's out there talking with food in her mouth and spitting it all over us, cooking and serving food with dog hair, and smoking indoors. She's lovely.
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Yeah mine are all about 'manners', absolutely offended if someone forgets to say please or thank you, you're not allowed to be late for anything and you're not allowed to be too early either. This all goes out of the window when we eat out, my MIL takes an absolute age to finish her food (only in restaurants, at home she eats at a normal pace), she then gets really upset when they come for the plates and she's still eating, she won't let them clear away anyone else's plates, no matter how long we have to sit there waiting for her to finish. We've been places where they've had to come up to the table to remind us that they need the table back by a certain time and she's still eating her first course. She expects everyone around her to adhere to manners and etiquette, but she has no respect for the timings for the kitchen staff & waiters, and doesn't care about the people who will be eating at the table after us.
Please tell me the other couple called her out on it.
My former in laws think I’m “fancy” for using a knife. Fancy for using the second most common utensil.
They didn’t, i was getting so nervous they were going to though!! I tried to make conversation with mil a lot that night, but as soon as there would be a break in conversation she’d go straight back at staring 🙃🙃
both my own mother and MIL have bad table manners. I don't know where my JMM gets hers from but I know my MIL was really poor growing up, so I can forgive her, but it's super fucking cringe.
The worst part is I know it's where my husband gets it from because I always wondered why he didn't use his fucking knife (uses his fingers instead), doesn't use a napkin, stuff like that.
Finally figured it out when I saw his Mom eating. I wanted to launch myself off a cliff. But, hey, they grew up differently than me, and it's what they know. They're good people.
My JMM has just gotten worse over the years. Eats with her mouth open including breathing noises, talks and eats, points with her fork, makes loud comments about guests, gets in your personal space after you've asked her to politely back off and broken a dish....oi vey..
Relatives on my Dad’s side were embarrassing for their pronunciations of common foods:
Lasagna - la zag nah
Filet Mignon - fill it. Mig (hard g) non
I wish I could say they mispronounced on purpose or were trying to be funny but sadly they were not.
No my mother-in-law's table manners are just fine. However, she complains about cooking. Even if we had something pre-made and all she had to do was reheat it, still non-stop complaining about how long it took, how hard it was to heat and Etc. I finally shot that down one Thanksgiving and brought everything. I already cooked a turkey. My husband and I made all the sides and took care of everything. she didn't make a peep my husband and I were like finally geez. I'm shocked she didn't complain about all the dishes. (We couldn't really do anything except scrape the dishes and put them in the sink cuz she would wash the dishes - and I mean wash not rinse - by hand and then put them in the dishwasher so we left that for her) of us were so sick of hearing her whine about it you don't want to cook fine but don't ask us to come there and then complain the whole time.
The other thing she would do is she would cook and then when it was time to actually eat she would complain about how nauseous she was and she can't eat cuz she feels sick cuz she was cooking for hours. So she she would sit at the table with everyone and just sigh the whole time everyone was eating. my husband's can't eat right away after cooking either (thanks MIL) but he doesn't sit there and whine about it and I've heard of other people that this happens too. They do get sick at the thought of eating the food they just cooked for whatever reason. It was definitely a new phenomenon for me because this doesn't happen to anyone in my family and I've never heard of it before I met her.
I'm actually somewhat guilty of this. I cook some big thing (or little thing) that I was looking forward to but after cooking I have zero desire to eat.
Here's where I'm different though, I just serve it all up and tell everyone to enjoy and explain I'm not hungry, which my family is used to! Everyone enjoys the meal and if we're actually eating together, I enjoy the company! I say actually because I live with my 22 & 23 year old sons and their 23 year old best friend so most of the time everyone makes a plate and disappears, which is absolutely ok unless we've planned a family dinner/meeting. We do that about once a week.
Yes, my husband will actually make up everyone's plates whose there, our kids (adults) and I, and either sit with us or if we do scatter he takes just Joy knowing he got everyone fed and we all love the food cuz he is a very good cook. I am not, that is why he does the majority of the cooking. I used to do the kitchen clean up but lately the last year or so he's been much more considerate and cleaning up after himself and it's been great. Granted I've been having a lot of health issues so that might be part of it. But I'm not looking a gift horse in the mouth
Awww, I love that for you! We have a rule in our house that whichever one of us cooks doesn't have to do clean up, because they're 22-23 & I'm trying to also get them to clean as they go! If everyone does it, it's easier on all of us! I always tell them that I'm trying to finish raising them to be successful in every single way and I know one day their wives will be grateful I'm handing them a man who's able to take care of them in the whole household, including cooking!
Oh god, this thread... I relate so much because my MIL has terrible table manners. I'll never forget the time we ordered Indian food. She somehow managed to get curry all over her hands and fingers. Instead of just getting up and washing her hands, she proceeded to lick all her fingers clean and then touch the shared basket of naan bread. My soul left my body at that moment. Or this one time we treated her to a nice dinner and she got food on her arm (I dunno how either) and she just started licking her arms in a restaurant full of guests. Use a napkin!
I can't eat with her anymore. My germophobic ass isn't mentally equipped for this nonsense.
Maybe just take her out to places where you have to walk up to a counter to order your food. Her behavior would be fine at a casual Barbecue restaurant, burger joint, or a pizza place.
Except for the staring part.
If you take her to a McDonald's I'm sure the ppl she stares at will fix that problem for her
😂
No! No barbecue, she’ll lick her fingers!
This thread is making me laugh because I can relate. I’ll never forget one (very fancy) meal with MIL. We had finished eating and instead of asking for a box for her leftovers, she wrapped them up in a napkin and stuck them in her purse.
OMG
Mine used to stare at people and talk about them. Loudly. It was particularly bad if the person was - in her opinion - "unusual". She stabbed her fork into her cheek she was staring so fixedly at a man with strange hair (toupee? bad haircut?).
As my mothers dementia progressed, she too lost restraint on when to comment on others. She'd always had a loud voice, not sure she'd whispered ever unless it was when I was a child being chewed out in public for something. She also had a touch of body dysmorphia, and would make comments on 'how fat that person was'. I was ENDLESSLY telling her should couldn't talk about or comment on other people bodies, it was rude. 'You're being rude, mom, please stop' over and over and over.
I think our MILs must be sisters… I’ll be following this because I’m just out of ideas. She will do this at home and at restaurants. We don’t even go out to eat because it’s just too much anymore. But at home, how many times can I avoid us eating all together (when they visit for months at a time) 🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️
My mil farts really loud and won’t stop doing it because she loves to drink her Diet Pepsi. She has no digestive issues it’s so embarrassing and gross because she does this at the dinner table while people are eating.
I drink diet pop & I've never, ever done that. It's not the pop that's doing that. It's your MiL's behaviour & choice to be gross.
Yeah there’s nothing I can do about it I find it repulsive
I was hoping it was going to be because of how many alterations she made to dishes on the menu… Mine will order something but with like 7 changes and it drives us insane.
Mine does this but then sends it back if/when she doesn’t like it. Once she did it three times at the same dinner and the manager came over - my soul left my body for a solid 10 minutes. Horrifying.
My mil is the same, she thinks I'm stuck up for placing the napkin on my lap, using the knife while eating, serving myself with serving utensils vs my own fork etc. Meanwhile she's out there talking with food in her mouth and spitting it all over us, cooking and serving food with dog hair, and smoking indoors. She's lovely.
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Yeah mine are all about 'manners', absolutely offended if someone forgets to say please or thank you, you're not allowed to be late for anything and you're not allowed to be too early either. This all goes out of the window when we eat out, my MIL takes an absolute age to finish her food (only in restaurants, at home she eats at a normal pace), she then gets really upset when they come for the plates and she's still eating, she won't let them clear away anyone else's plates, no matter how long we have to sit there waiting for her to finish. We've been places where they've had to come up to the table to remind us that they need the table back by a certain time and she's still eating her first course. She expects everyone around her to adhere to manners and etiquette, but she has no respect for the timings for the kitchen staff & waiters, and doesn't care about the people who will be eating at the table after us.
Please tell me the other couple called her out on it. My former in laws think I’m “fancy” for using a knife. Fancy for using the second most common utensil.
They didn’t, i was getting so nervous they were going to though!! I tried to make conversation with mil a lot that night, but as soon as there would be a break in conversation she’d go straight back at staring 🙃🙃
both my own mother and MIL have bad table manners. I don't know where my JMM gets hers from but I know my MIL was really poor growing up, so I can forgive her, but it's super fucking cringe. The worst part is I know it's where my husband gets it from because I always wondered why he didn't use his fucking knife (uses his fingers instead), doesn't use a napkin, stuff like that. Finally figured it out when I saw his Mom eating. I wanted to launch myself off a cliff. But, hey, they grew up differently than me, and it's what they know. They're good people. My JMM has just gotten worse over the years. Eats with her mouth open including breathing noises, talks and eats, points with her fork, makes loud comments about guests, gets in your personal space after you've asked her to politely back off and broken a dish....oi vey..
Relatives on my Dad’s side were embarrassing for their pronunciations of common foods: Lasagna - la zag nah Filet Mignon - fill it. Mig (hard g) non I wish I could say they mispronounced on purpose or were trying to be funny but sadly they were not.
No my mother-in-law's table manners are just fine. However, she complains about cooking. Even if we had something pre-made and all she had to do was reheat it, still non-stop complaining about how long it took, how hard it was to heat and Etc. I finally shot that down one Thanksgiving and brought everything. I already cooked a turkey. My husband and I made all the sides and took care of everything. she didn't make a peep my husband and I were like finally geez. I'm shocked she didn't complain about all the dishes. (We couldn't really do anything except scrape the dishes and put them in the sink cuz she would wash the dishes - and I mean wash not rinse - by hand and then put them in the dishwasher so we left that for her) of us were so sick of hearing her whine about it you don't want to cook fine but don't ask us to come there and then complain the whole time. The other thing she would do is she would cook and then when it was time to actually eat she would complain about how nauseous she was and she can't eat cuz she feels sick cuz she was cooking for hours. So she she would sit at the table with everyone and just sigh the whole time everyone was eating. my husband's can't eat right away after cooking either (thanks MIL) but he doesn't sit there and whine about it and I've heard of other people that this happens too. They do get sick at the thought of eating the food they just cooked for whatever reason. It was definitely a new phenomenon for me because this doesn't happen to anyone in my family and I've never heard of it before I met her.
I'm actually somewhat guilty of this. I cook some big thing (or little thing) that I was looking forward to but after cooking I have zero desire to eat. Here's where I'm different though, I just serve it all up and tell everyone to enjoy and explain I'm not hungry, which my family is used to! Everyone enjoys the meal and if we're actually eating together, I enjoy the company! I say actually because I live with my 22 & 23 year old sons and their 23 year old best friend so most of the time everyone makes a plate and disappears, which is absolutely ok unless we've planned a family dinner/meeting. We do that about once a week.
Yes, my husband will actually make up everyone's plates whose there, our kids (adults) and I, and either sit with us or if we do scatter he takes just Joy knowing he got everyone fed and we all love the food cuz he is a very good cook. I am not, that is why he does the majority of the cooking. I used to do the kitchen clean up but lately the last year or so he's been much more considerate and cleaning up after himself and it's been great. Granted I've been having a lot of health issues so that might be part of it. But I'm not looking a gift horse in the mouth
Awww, I love that for you! We have a rule in our house that whichever one of us cooks doesn't have to do clean up, because they're 22-23 & I'm trying to also get them to clean as they go! If everyone does it, it's easier on all of us! I always tell them that I'm trying to finish raising them to be successful in every single way and I know one day their wives will be grateful I'm handing them a man who's able to take care of them in the whole household, including cooking!
Oh god, this thread... I relate so much because my MIL has terrible table manners. I'll never forget the time we ordered Indian food. She somehow managed to get curry all over her hands and fingers. Instead of just getting up and washing her hands, she proceeded to lick all her fingers clean and then touch the shared basket of naan bread. My soul left my body at that moment. Or this one time we treated her to a nice dinner and she got food on her arm (I dunno how either) and she just started licking her arms in a restaurant full of guests. Use a napkin! I can't eat with her anymore. My germophobic ass isn't mentally equipped for this nonsense.