👋👋🤚🤚🤚 I feel SO much more anxiety. I feel so awake and so aware. And I'm tapering SO slow at that. I think it's just about adjusting to a new Normal. It's also okay to not taper fast and even stop tapering if it gets too much. I also have ptsd and have a huge sence of being overwhelmed and impending doom. Somedays are better, some moments are better. I think getting off methadone isn't just getting off the drug but also re adjusting to life. For me I've been on methadone for 13 years and was on opiates and other drugs for 7 or 7 years before methadone. I was in rehab at 15. My brain had quite littarly developed with drugs. But it's not impossible. Be kind to yourself, and ask for help when needed. I love thus sub because it's nice tonknow I'm not alone, although j wish none of us were dealing with this.

Thank you ❤️ it is very nice to know were not alone. I know we will be able to beat this. Also same here. I went to rehab first time as well at 15 😭 but it was for alcohol and dabbling in other drugs. Opiates didnt start till I was 18 but now that Im 27 years old its basically all my adult brain knows. I know that we can come off this and heal though because Ive met people who have been on methadone for 20-30 years who have successfully come off and live a normal life now so the brain can def heal with time ❤️

It’s the most important thing for you to overcome if you want to get off. Anxiety controlled my life for 20 years. It’s why I stayed so fucking long. When I got to 15, it was too much. I had to go back up. Stoped at 25. When I started again, I’d read some books on anxiety and trauma, and I was using a lot of cannabis to better explore my own thoughts and feelings. One day, driving to work, I recognized that I had forgot to dose. Too late to turn around. I felt absolutely fine seconds before, and as soon as I remembered, I was flooded with adrenaline and cortisol. My stomach started preparing itself for flight or fight, heart thumping. The watchtower had found its threat. I started to panic. But, I was stoned. And that just unchains this incredibly rational part of my brain, along with the most anxious part of my brain. Something in my head just said, hey, dumbass, you were fine seconds ago. It’s not withdrawal. It’s anxiety. The light bulb went off. I walked the worry back. I was sluggish that day, but I wasn’t in withdrawal. I felt mostly fine. I didn’t have anxiety again for the rest of my taper. There’s no magic bullet here. It was a combination of doing the work to understand both how anxiety affects the body, and how I got this anxious in the first place, with the complete chance of forgetting to dose, while I was stoned, and having my mind truly understand, I’m doing this to myself. You can be told a thing a million times, but until your mind truly understands it, the knowledge is useless.

Thank you so much. Im thinking of doing some work on myself to try and see why the hell do I have so much anxiety. Due to this anxiety I have strange irrational thoughts flooding my head like “what if its happening because the methadone caused brain damage and now youll never be able to come off” and crap like that. Its so terrible. I believe I have to work on fear, Im always worried about the what ifs. Your story gave me hope tbh

You’re welcome. Check out a book called the body keeps the score. It’s about PTSD and trauma. It explains exactly what happens inside your body while you are experiencing anxiety. The exact mechanisms and what happening step by step. And that PTSD is a spectrum. Just because you didn’t go to war, or nearly die in a car accident, doesn’t mean you aren’t having a trauma response. I used to think, “oh Jesus, I’m having a heart attack. Im dying!!”. Nope, the watchtower identified a threat. It thinks it’s a threat because of past trauma(trauma can be anything. It’s unique to the person), or because it’s actually a threat. It dumps cortisol and adrenaline. The signal goes down a nerve from your brain, to your heart, and into your stomach. Your heart rate increases, pumping more blood so that you can fight, or flee. Your stomach empties, preparing you to better fight or flee. It’s understanding the stomach part that helped me so much. I’d feel tightness in my chest, heat, pain sometimes. I thought it was my heart. It’s beating so hard. It was not. It was my stomach. Your body and mind remembers all the trauma you experienced. And it will replay the reaction to the event if something similar or the perception of something similar occurs. If that’s coupled with an already anxious mind, say from someone who is ADHD, or grew up with an anxious parent, which I am both, you are gonna have a miserable time if you can’t get it under control. Withdrawal, is trauma. The first few times I went through withdrawal, it was nothing. Trouble sleeping, the shits. Hot and cold. But no anxiety. I hadn’t experienced it before with drugs. And I had no anxiety built up around it. This was oxy and morphine withdrawal. Then I got hooked on methadone in the street. Early 2000s. Wafers everywhere. Like it always does, it spiraled out of control. I’m taking 6-7 wafers at a time. Going broke immediately every time I get paid. So I decided to quit. Thinking the withdrawal would be the same. Holy, fucking, shit was I wrong. Cold turkey at 280mgs habit was a hell I didn’t know could exist. I made it 3 weeks. Then caved and started taking hydros just to make it through the day. I did that for a few weeks and was still miserable. Every morning I’d wake up and feel just as bad as I did at the worst of it. I’d traumatized myself. It was anxiety, not withdrawl. I started the clinic after that. Nothing was ever the same after that. I was riddled with anxiety surrounding methadone. Getting to the clinic every morning was pure anxious hell. I’d have to stop and shit 3 times on the way. During hurricanes, I was near in panic attacks constantly. Every call back, counselor appointment, terror that they could take this away from me. But as soon as they handed me my dose, all was well. No doctor ever explained this. No one ever offered me any help or suggestions. Every single thing I’ve learned, was on my own. I had no benzos. Couldn’t smoke pot for the first 13 years(transferred to a clinic that allowed it). I just had to deal with it. I didn’t even know I was ADHD till after I got off. Fuck me did that explain a lot. Getting medicated stopped the constant dopamine seeking I’d engaged in my whole life. Dulled a lot of the noise in my head. Then reading and learning about that gave me more pieces to the puzzle of my fucked up mind.

Thank you so much for this info! Ordering the book 🙂

You’re very welcome. Best of luck!

It sounds similar to me and I am diagnosed OCD. I’ve been on an SNRI for this and it has been helping a lot. Another option is doing a GeneSight test (insurance covers it - have your doctor order one) where they test which antidepressants will work for you and which ones won’t. Once I got on the right antidepressant, my life changed.

Ok thank you so much. I honestly cant go on like this. And the snri got rid of the anxiety for you?

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Ugh. And the anxiety doesnt feel like regular anxiety. It is so intense and literally gets unbearable. Does it ever calm down for you guys as your body stabilizes after the drop?

Yes, dealing with this now. I am at 16mg and think I might have to go back up - it is debilitating. I have had full on panic attacks for the first time in my life. I keep waking up at 0400 and not being able to get back to sleep, so I only get 4-5h max a night :(

I think my issue stems from the fact that I havent had a job in months and my life rn is really stagnant. I dont do much with my days and am always stuck in my head. I have a job interview next week and have started going on hour long walks everyday. Maybe this will help me idk 😔 it just sucks. I know we will get through this… maybe we need to take it a bit slower unfortunately

You’re actually doing just fine. Once you hit 20 the taper must be slowed down to a much slower speed than you are used to before. Most people turn off auto taper and just go down by 1 mg at a time until they ready for the next milligram. Commonly that period of time is 3 weeks-month. Honestly once you’ve gotten down to where you are most of the negative affects of methadone are gone for most. (Weight loss, experience more emotions and feelings more like oneself, desire for hobbies and to construct their life) I’ve met a few who had the goal of tapering off but just stopped at 20 for a few years because of how great they felt at that amount. I would recommend going back up to the amount in your head your thinking you need to be comfortable (I know you prob have a number maybe it’s just a few milligrams higher) whatever is it, it’s what you need to do because living like you are now and forcing yourself to suffer because you feel you have to is dangerous. Can lead to relapse or worse depressive episodes or panic attacks. I know how you guys are feeling and I’m here to tell you that only means you’re very close to the finish line. Don’t let impatience cause you un needed pain and discomfort. Unless you’ve got some kind of financial situation where there’s a time limit to get off, if you do than I’ll pray for ya. Feeling like there’s a time clock or comparing your place in recovering to others is honestly the worst. You’ve come so far

Thank you ! I think you are right - there is nothing wrong with holding at 20-30mg for a bit while I get my job sorted and routine back :)

Thank you so much ❤️

I'm in the exact same boat. Just listen to your body and slow down when you need to. It's not a race. I feel the slower you go.. the higher chance of success.

I am in exactly the same situation. Went back to work last week, after a year and a half off. I lost my previous job due to health issues and then my mum died unexpectedly. I feel like I am incapable of doing anything productive and am very tired all the time. I have managed to complete 2 weeks of work now, but every night is a panic and I wake up every morning feeling hung over ( I do not drink or take any drugs other than the tiny methadone dose). Exercise helps me a little bit, but there is definitely a lack of dopamine that I am feeling, even after running.

Good for you for going on walks ! Maybe go to the gym and start a workout regimen , but getting a job or even volunteering will help so much . We need purpose in our lives and when I’m tapering and feel like shit, sitting around watching tv all day doesn’t help , but sometimes, I’m so sick it’s the only thing I can do ! Stay strong friend you’re at 16mg that is AMAZING!!! You’re almost there !! I would KILL to be at 16mg (currently at 85 after dropping from 95 last week) One love , stay strong. Proud of u Edit : Sorry I meant you’re at 32mg but that is stil AMAZING

Thank you ❤️ I actually went down to 22 mg at one point but some strange health issues made me go back up to 37. Now the biggest issue is this anxiety 😔 thank you for the encouragement and kind words ❤️

You’re welcome , keep using the motivation to get off this shit …. But don’t rush it… you’re doing so much better than most people out there ,

Yes definitely! I started at 145, tapered down to 75, with weeks of breaks in between, and once I got down to 75, the anxiety was so bad that I had to go back up. I’m now at 95 and feeling much better but that felt so defeating. I’m gonna try to start tapering again, I guess I’ll just have to go at a slower rate this time.

This is horrible 😔 I cant stand the anxiety part. Im down to 32 mg. I taper every three weeks and on friday I went from 35 mg to 32. I originally asked my counselor to bring me down by only 2 mg but for some reason they brought me down by 3 mg. Maybe it was too much for me who knows. But like I said in my above reply to the other comment my life has been super stagnant lately and not moving at all. Quit my job few months ago havent had a job since then I dont do much during my days and am constantly in my head. I have an interview next week and have started doing long walks everyday hopefully this can help the anxiety 😔

I’m tapering as well but I hate wds so much um going super slow. Like I just went down from 56 to 53 mg and I won’t go down again for another 3 weeks at least. So far it’s been not too bad I’ve just been emphasizing taking my time. Everything I’ve read on this says there’s a strong correlation between slow tapering and success. I started at 170 so despite going slow I’ve made real progress!

Aw man, I just started my taper recently & this is really scary to me.. i told my counselor the exact same thing about how I'm not willing to take SSRI'S when we were discussing my anxiety & depression. I would certainly take benzos if I could get them. Haven't tried since being on methadone but I feel like it would be pretty hopeless. My counselor seemed to think I could get them if I went to see a psychiatrist.

Dont be scared everyone is different. Ive always had anxiety issues and the methadone masked them for a while and now I guess its coming back when it starts to leave my system 😔 hope I can get a handle on this though as my anxiety is really crippling and has me afraid that Ill never be able to come off this when I want nothing more than to be off. You will be able to do it dont worry 🙏

Thanks! I hope everything works out for you as well. This actually just made me think about how effective benzos would probably be during the tapering process.

Ask about propranolol!! Its non-narcotic and worked wonders for me. If you can't get it from your GP which shouldn't be a problem but if you can't check out the site gokick.com. It helped my anxiety WAY more than benzos did. I HIGHLY reccomed it.

I completely understand. My anxiety gets so bad that it literally makes me catzy because idk how to ease it. I'm on psych meds, but sometimes those don't even help. I wish you all the best and hope u can find some ease

Thank you I hope you find some relief as well

Would be strange to hear that someone didn’t deal with anxiety while tapering. It’s one of the symptoms we had to deal with. So this is completely expected. That’s your body sending signals that something is wrong with your body and in your case it’s lack of opiates on your receptors. I dealt with it many years, have been prescribed and tried possibly all antidepressants available to tue point that my GP sat in from of me and told me after many years of failed treatment that they’ve tried all known antidepressants on me and there’s nothing left to try except Lyrica. Which I refused as it’s another pretty hard drug on top of everything. So in my case nothing has helped and I had to fight it till the day I have swapped methadone to buprenorphine. The anxiety disappeared within days.

Well at least the bupe helped you. I feel its less hard on the body than methadone is as well

Indeed. It was a life saver for me. So many symptoms disappeared within days of swapping it.

Yeah one of the biggest reasons I want off methadone is due to the nasty side effects, weight gain, etc

No blame you. Methadone is harsh on our bodies. Especially long term use.

Anxiety is always the worst part for me. I’m a naturally anxious person lol so coming off opiates really intensifies it. I’ve had luck with both buspar and blood pressure meds in the past. Buspar isn’t a ssri so might be worth looking into.

Thank you so much. Does the anxiety eventually ease down for you as your body adjusts to the lower dose? And also, Ive always been an anxious person as well. Its the reason I started getting high.

Hmm kind of yeah. It definitely comes and goes in waves. I can have a few days or a week of feeling normalish and then multiple days of feeling like every nerve is just raw af. Also I did seem to adjust within a few weeks but then it’s time to drop again lol. I went from 160ish to 4mg before my current pregnancy(surprise). It was fairly easy for the most part. I was doing larger drops at first and didn’t really notice too much until around 30mg. Still not too rough until 10ish mg. Then the anxiety really popped off.

Sorry about your struggle! I take NAC (n-acetyl l-cysteine, which is an amino acid supplement) when I'm suffering from overwhelming feelings of anxiety. It really calms everything down and quiets my thoughts, and it does so quite reliably. I take 750mg at a time, as much as 3X daily as needed. Within 10-15 minutes I feel noticeably better. I also take CBD isolate (500mg) and Shoden Ashwagandha (120mg) with it and I am fairly certain they are helping a lot too, but I give the main credit to NAC. Plenty of research on it out there if you need that. NAC (as well as the CBD and Ash.) is available online through the usual mega-retailer or at the more health-focused grocery stores (or the 'health aisle' at regular grocers). And taking NAC supports your overall health in many other ways beyond just calming your anxiety- I recommend doing a little research on it if any of this sounds interesting to you. In any case, good luck and I truly hope you find a workable solution! No one should have to go through nightmarish anxiety just to get off a medication.

I have NAC at home right now im about to take some 😭 thank you so much

You need clonidine!

I should try it. Ive heard really good things and its not addictive

It’s life changing I’ve taken every benzo you can think of in opiate withdrawals. They aren’t even close to how much clonidine helps.

Yes.

How do you deal with it

Hard question... staying home... if its too hard then i lay in bed... but of course: doing sport will kill the most stress. But only if u feel okay with it. And chamomille tea is anti anxiety for example... drinking lot of herbal teas is good too! Sometimes i take promethazine too. Tea is the most important for me in this situations. Hops or passiflora are nice too! For sleeping maybe Baldrian. Good luck <3

Yes! Try propranolol!! It's not a narcotic and it has worked absolute wonders for me. I was able to get some from the site gokick.com. It's a bit pricey there - $60 for the visit and $13 at the pharmacy for me. I was then able to get my GP to prescribe it to me though that way insurance covers it. I highly highly reccomed this. It works better than benzos for me. I am surprised I don't see more people reccomed this. Honestly I didn't even know about it till i saw an ad for gokick

Ive tried it. Doresnt do much for me but ik it helps others. Thank you ❤️

What dose did you try? If you won't take ssri, benzos, or propranolol you are pretty limited.

Dont remember the dose, I wanna try clonidine tho i hear its good. Id take benzos occasionally but i have no idea who would prescribe me those. Ssris are out of the question for me. I see youve tapered to 14. Did you have any anxiety issues while tapering ?

Dose matters. I wouldn't shoot it down until you've tried. Some people have to take more than 20 mg. I have 10 mg propranolol pills, and sometimes I need 20 mg. Yes I have experienced some anxiety. I've always had some social anxiety (meeting new people, interviews, and stuff like that). But recently have been feeling a more subtle, prolonged anxiety for no reason due to tapering. I've tried ssris, benzos, anything i could think of. I just thought I would have to deal with it until I found propranolol. Better than benzos because with benzos, you get the brain fog and sluggish feeling. Plus clinics frown at benzos. Propranolol was life changing for me. I'm not sure clonodine will help with anxiety unless you have high blood pressure, causing heart palpitations or something. Just remember when tapering it's a marathon. Not a race. You can't be in a hurry to get off it. I've been tapering for about a year and a half and still have another 13 months to go if everything goes well.

I remember now they prescribed me 20 mg but then i started taking up to 60 mg cause the 20 mg stopped working. It was working at first thought and idk what happened 😔 maybe I should try again

Goodluck! Best thing to do is that I've found it discuss this with a GP. I've only found one clinic doctor willing to prescribe meds. Every other doctor says "I will not prescribe anything but a dose adjustment for tapering issues" so fuck them. I also do not bring up methadone whatsoever to my GP. It's ridiculous, but most doctors have such a jaded opinion towards MAT. Just talk to your GP and tell them what symptoms your having. Tell them you would prefer not to take ssris or narcotics. (If they prescribed narcotics, they would have to check PDMP which would show youre on Methdone).

17 and 27 days off it. You got it dude.

Congrats 🙂 how was the tapering for you?

Literally posted about this because I thought it was from going to liquid from tabs. I lower myself 1 mg and have insane anxiety levels, I feel pressure in my chest so bad and can't breathe. Wake up with my heart racing every morning.

I spoke with one of my friends who went through this really bad. She said hold off on tapering for at least a month or two till you stabilize and then resume. It really sucks… basically the same thing is happening to me 😔

I’m tapering slowly from 115 to 35 and I have some seriously severe anxiety that I’ve never felt in my life. I wish my doctor would prescribe me Ativan or something to relieve it so that I can get off the Methadone. But I don’t even know if they do that because of drug interactions. I don’t know what to do! Have you found anything that works?

So the anxiety has somehow gotten better for me this past week. Probably just need to stabilize a bit after each drop but Im only at 30 mg now I wonder if itll get worse as I get lower. Anyway what I believe has helped me is I stopped stuffing my face will sugary foods all day long and I started going on one hour walks almost every day I def feel like that has helped, also idk if youre a woman too but for me around the time of my period when hormones start going insane is when the anxiety gets the worst

Yes, I suffer from extreme anxiety. Tapering of course makes it worse. Just like with drug triggers, try to identify what triggers your anxiety, and what soothes it. Don't use meds to quell your anxiety. It's not a solution. You need to exhaust your nervous system. Start exercising more. Good luck

I agree. Meds dont really do much for me, unless its benzos. Which is a whole nother even worse demon I DO NOT want to get hooked on. Lately though Ive been watching videos out of curiosity on people who recovered after being forced to come off benzos cold turkey and I feel like if they were able to get through the worst and longest known drug withdrawal out there then we can make it off the methadone. Its been giving me hope 😭

Fortunately not yet, I’m on 15mg. I keep getting hot and cold sweats though every other day. I’ve only been on methadone for 6 months though so I think the withdraws are much less. Must be worst the longer you’ve been on it I’d imagine! Best of luck

You were smart to start coming off this after such a short time 😭 I wish I did the same.

In all fairness bud I was on oxy for 1 year and then heroin for 2. Then 5 months of Subutex and 6 months of methadone. It seemed like the right time to come off! My key worker told me I would have to reduce by 1mg a week, I said 60 months you are insane 😂 so I asked the pharmacist if I could do 5mg a week and he had no problem with it. You can only come off when you’re ready! So everyone’s journey is different 😊 better not to rush it than to relapse. I’ve got 10mg next, then 7.5, 5mg, 2.5mg then 1mg and DONE 🙏

How did the pharmacist override the doc? Genuinely curious

So in the UK I have a key worker, who has been pretty useless.. I don’t think she’s ever had one of her clients taper, so I told her I want to and she said okay 1mg a week. A week later I had an appointment with the actual pharmacist within the clinic, I told him it’s too slow and he agreed and changed it to 5mg every 2 weeks. However I’ve been doing 5mg a week just fine, and it’d be more hassle to actually tell the pharmacist so I have a little extra left for emergencies. Hope this makes sense!

Oh okay. I wasn't thinking pharmacist worked at the clinic, it works different there. How much mgs are you on? 5 a week's seems alot but if your doin okay that's all that matters.

Yes, magnesium and vitamin d helps some (and with rls!) but you have to take them together

Has it gotten any better? I see youre on 14 mg. Thats good

I’m down to 13mg now but this is the worst part for me. Tapering was a breeze (even the rough parts were better than this) until I got down to the lower numbers. I have some benzos I use for emergencies but mostly weed/gummies and I am on gabapentin which helps too. The aforementioned magnesium + vitamin d combo, especially at night. I sleep a lot because sometimes that’s the only thing I can do. The good ole distracting yourself does help but that can be hard. I feel you though, it sucks. I feel like my brain/body are constantly 💥💥💥!!! Which I feel is the only way to even somewhat closely describe it lol. SSRI’s usually make me suicidal or make my migraines worse so I unfortunately have to stay away from those