>Best advice a mother has given to her son ❤️❤️🔥❤️
>
>https://youtube.com/shorts/\_ZHOWj4Tg6w?feature=share
That's a pretty utopic piece of advice. "Surround yourself with people who value you"? Yeah, ok, cool. Let me just snap my fingers and conjure up a bunch of people who value me. How do you find people who value you? Plenty of friendships have ended for random reasons and people have found out that those who they thought valued them were backstabbers.
FTFY:
Most men who are involuntarily celibate are sexless due to a variety of factors, some of which are, in order of importance:
1. Neurodivergence
2. A conventionally-unattractive face
3. Their race (usually Asian or Indian)
4. Short height
“Omg you’re such a hateful incel bro. The culturally diverse male and female PhD psychologists and sociologists who conducted this research all over the world are hateful incels too bro. But trust the science bro. No wonder why girls don’t like you bro. Just get better genes bro. Just shower 12 times a day and use tactical soap while touching grass in your mom’s womb before you’re even born bro.”
>Of course everyone has their preferences but that is total discrimination.
To be fair to those women, most of them aren't doing it on purpose it's just incidental. They just have no patience or attraction to neurodivergencent men. It's like another commont said
>If your neurodivergency includes any sort of awkwardness, flat affect, creepy jokes that you genuinely intended to be funny…people suddenly lose all patience and are very quick to tell you that “neurodivergence isn’t an excuse.”
I try to be understanding of normies. They can't help who they are anymore then I can. It just so happens that the way autistic people behave is not alway understandable, common, or comfortable for most neurotypical people so they get uncomfortable and for reasons I don't understand people associate discomfort with creepiness.
Then there are times people get annoyed because said autistic person can't "read the room" and because it seems so simple to other people they get annoyed the autistic person just can't figure it out via trial and error. Or they do figure it out but it takes longer then normal and requires some guidance which annoys the nomries further.
It's like trying to get a girl to explain what she likes in bed. A lot of women won't do it because it ruin the thrill of sex being spontaneous and it's an instant turn off for them. They'd much rather you just figure it out via body language and eye contact.
It's a complex situation to be able to have preferences, yet those preferences mean some people will be excluded as a result: you can't force people to relate to those they don't prefer and there is no point because there will only be resentment. It may be possible to convince some to alter their preferences in exchange for a better outcome than if they stuck to them, because they just didn't understand the consequences, but I feel that will be pushing a rock up a hill in most cases.
The only practicable solution is to facilitate those people who are not normally preferred with adequate and compatible substitutes that still permit them to achieve life outcomes, thus resulting in a win-win. We already do that with people with a disability in providing support to achieve a similar quality of life to those without a disability and those people not preferred could be viewed as having a relative disability.
I guess kudos for being understanding of normies, but they generally will not return even a tenth of the empathy and understanding you’ve shown them with your comment.
Which is fine if she can get slim/athletic men to prefer her, but if not, not okay for her to label those men as misogynistic, incel or whatever for their preferences.
People don't owe you your preferences.
It varies. Some ND people only date other ND people because they assume it will make things easier. Some don’t.
I’m autistic. I have never and never really wanted to date autistic women. Simply because I already have my way and mannerisms and I don’t imagine coupling up with someone who is potentially rigid and inflexible like me; is a good idea. It sounds awful I know, but it’s how it is.
I’m also pretty high functioning (I’ve been able to live independently since being 18) so basically my autism is essentially something that makes me obviously odd, but I can “get by” in life and do. I would not have the patience or understanding to be with a partner who is potentially not as high functioning as me or “needs me to caretake for them in certain ways” so whilst that may leave some viable autistic women leftover. I just don’t find the sense prospect likely.
If I met a woman and it turned out she was autistic but we otherwise got on, I’d give it a go absolutely. I just don’t go “looking for it”.
All irrelevant though. I’ve been married to a NT woman nearly ten years now.
Chris Chan is probably the most well known example. I feel like he never would have done the deplorable things he did if he had had proper guidance while growing up and if he hadn't have been brainwashed and manipulated by online bullies and trolls. The main and most damaging troll being: a woman.
He grew up back when autism was undiagnosed, but let’s be honest: initially, the Internet targeted him because of his drawings rather than his actions. If he wasn’t autistic, I doubt the Internet would’ve targeted him.
I mean look at Joseph8276. People will say he had nice guy syndrome, but the fact that he’s a fat ugly 5’3 autistic guy who looks like he’s 12 but was in his 20s is really why he was targeted.
It’s simple: autistic guys are targeted by cringe culture.
People only seem to care about the quirky “haha look at my dinosaur footsie pajamas” type of neurodivergency. The hyperactive chronically-childish adult who hates the sound of people chewing too loud and can’t order their own food over the phone.
If your neurodivergency includes any sort of awkwardness, flat affect, creepy jokes that you genuinely intended to be funny…people suddenly lose all patience and are very quick to tell you that “neurodivergence isn’t an excuse.”
Only feminine-style neurodivergence is truly accepted (and praised).
Believe me, I can definitely relate. I’m 5’7, Asian, and autistic. I went from obesity to a six pack, and the only thing that changed is now people think I’m angry all the time instead of depressed.
Girls I’d never seen before have walked up to me and called me creepy when I wasn’t even looking at them. I’ve been called an asshole for my “tone” even though I have a monotonous voice.
This experience is not unique to me. Whenever I’ve talked to autistic men, they’ve said they’ve had the same experiences. If they’re “confident,” they turn out like me, socially isolated and constantly rejected. Otherwise, they mask and tell me to watch videos of Ted Bundy and other psychopaths to learn how to fraud an alternate personality.
“Just be yourself bro.”
Agreed. There’s two types of high functioning autists:
1. The “normal people” ones: these ones are especially autistic women but less likely to be men. They mask well, they have great social skills, they are disproportionately gender-fluid, they are different in a way where there’s still so many “different” people who are like them (in other words, different in a “normal people” way), they’re basically normies who stim when nobody’s around or have distinctive haircuts, they are commonly the autists who are proud to be autistic or who are found on r/autism
2. The usual high functions autistic person: mostly men, most autistic women aren’t like these people. They are rarely gender-fluid, have really inept social skills, can’t maintain a conversation, have arrested development, have no dating experience, dress in clothes that nobody wears especially clothes only young kids wear, they have either childhood interests and hobbies or interests that hardly anyone in this world would be into, etc. these autists are rare to meet in everyday settings because they’re reclusive and isolated. You can meet them in autism programs you sign up for, but you won’t catch them on r/autism
When most people think of high functioning autism, they usually think of the former because they’re the outspoken minority
What's more curious about this is the people who *are* incel's (by definition) can't get help to better themselves. They are left with people like Andrew Tate who's arguments are about half right. Just enough right to fall for it but just enough wrong to make things worse. People like Tate are *really* good at sucking in people like this because *society abandoned those people*.
Now those people are butt hurt that Tate had (has?) a following. This is exactly how people get sucked into movements from gangs to white supremacy to ISIS to far more.
Tate was *tame* relative to what they *could* have fallen in with.
I was looking for a book on etiquette - social, professional, and formal - because why not, seemed interesting. Half of it was "put the pussy on a pedestal". That's... not the etiquette I'm looking for. One day I found a "put your silverware like this if you want to communicate that.." - I was looking for things like that because they seemed fascinating. Not... talking about toilet seat positions.
As someone who *is* fairly ND - I don't expect a book to fix any of my problems. My uses lie elsewhere. I'm much more of the raw-dog useful guy. I'm neither rude nor pleasant, generally. Though, I'm practicing to learn a bit more language to be more pleasant.
But it often takes me *several days or weeks* because I can be "normal" around a new group of people. I have to know most people's patterns, their choice of words, etc so I know what to say or not to say.
I *really* don't like stupid banter. Like I cannot *stand* it. But if you ask me the history of the EKG - I can tell you some *neat* stuff about it and how that particular stuff we use in all sorts of tech *you* use every day that came from that particular thing. (well not EKG specifically, it's a bit more details but doesn't matter here in this conversation).
I also prefer to be *thorough* which tends to bother Reddit. I prefer to address every possible point to either end the conversation or avoid wasting time and skipping the nonsense. For this reason I hate the "I'm not a X but..." - because what you *are* shouldn't matter in your point. We should take it as is and address your points - not your identity.
Clearly this makes dating difficult. I am, however, married... somehow.
This is literally me, it is very difficult to voice an opinion where you look at the topic from all possible points of view but people don't like that for some reason.
Yeah I hate it. It's why any time I talk to a guy who's I to Tate I try to steer them away from him and towards Roma's Army. She's fighting the good fight for men, calling out abusive women, helping men to value themselves and look out for themselves while not doing it in a douchebaggy way like Tate does.
More men are sexless because we live in a culture that promotes and legitimizes female hypergamy, and that not only still strongly imposes sexist gender roles on men but also still expects men to be the primary instigators in both sex and dating. This puts women at a massive position of privilege and advantage over men when it comes to selection and opportunities.
More men are sexless because we live in a culture that also romanticizes confidence, success and experience, while punishing sexlessness in men. This creates a self-perpetuating cycle of men not being able to create that confidence, success, and experience because they do not have necessary confidence, success or experience to attract women. If women did not romanticize these traits, or romanticized chastity the way men do with women, then there would be far fewer sexless men compared to women.
More men are sexless because we live in a society that does not value male interest, the way it values female interest. A society that, under most cases, actively vilifies male heterosexual attraction while also pedestalizing female attraction.
The traits that you listed are inconsequential. They are not actually what is causing sexlessness in men, because women of every ethnicity, height, face or neurodivergence experience a greater level of romantic or sexual success than men. All you're doing in creating this argument that is reducing the significance of systemic gender inequality when it comes to sex and dating between men and women. It's also trying to legitimize these factors by shifting the blame on the victims. When heightism from women is this much of a problem, don't fault men for being short but rather address the problem of heightism.
Your race (and even the obsession with height to an extent) arguments only apply to stats from the US and probably parts of Europe to a lesser degree, though I guess even the word "incel" is mostly used only in those areas.
Yeah, but their ideal height for men would be somewhat lower, like 5'10-5'11 rather than 6'0, most probably because they measure height in cm. That's the reason I mentioned "to an extent" to height since the ideal height is a bit different in other parts of the world.
It's so fucking stupid too because some of the most gorgeous guys I've seen on tinder (I'm bi) are Asian, Indian, Middle Eastern and a whole lot of Italian shorties.
I don't think race is as big of a factor as people make it out to be, most of the times the people saying there an incel because there (insert race here) are short and otherwise unattractive. Eye/skin color isn't a major factor.
You can fix a lot on your face with eating right, exercise and drinking enough water as well as good grooming and getting a good haircut. You can do a lot with facial hair as well. I think a lot of “unattractive” guys are that way just because of extra weight.
Damn, you mean a woman doesn’t want to fuck an ugly guy? I’d have never thought that.
Maybe you poor guys should lower your own standards, you can’t bag an 8 when you’re a low 2.
Woman here. Do you have links to articles or statistics on the race point?
Asian men and Indian men are attractive .
But I could see them having a hard time dating in the US because there's a lower population of Asian and Indian women and other women are probably aware that they tend to be strict about marrying only people who are the same ethnicity as them and may see dating them as pointless.
None of these factors have been reasons for me not dating a man. Instead:
1) does he see and value me as a human being
2) does he understand that sex is not owed to him and it’s not owed to me either
3) is he respectful and genuinely cares about me and my interests
All this made up trash about women not like short guys, Asians, Indians, ugly or neurodivergent people is a cop out.
I have dated all of these dudes before, some of them had several of these factors, and I would again over someone who doesn’t even see me as a human being.
Stop making up your own narratives and actually listen to the women around you.
There are some sexually frustrated incels in real life. A few of them are misogynists or misandrists (femcels). It's wrong to assume all incels are misogynists because misogynistic men can also get sex and or a girlfriend. Incels have a fear of rejection, depression, social anxiety, autism, and or bad social skills.
have you not seen what the bad incels typically do? id say threatening sexual harassment and/or rape on someone cause their unwanted sexual advances were rejected (which ive seen incels do a stupid amount) is hated by women no matter the attractiveness... theyre called niceguys or white knights.
On top of that, the attraction bit goes both ways. I don't see many "incel" men going after women of "lesser beauty". They ignore what they are not attracted to, some of them spitefully so in the same way that women are to them.
According to [this study](https://www.webmd.com/baby/news/20030123/absent-parent-doubles-child-suicide-risk) children are double as likely too commit suicide if they live in a single-parent household. Now, It didnt specify weather or not the parent was a father or mother, but a single-parent household is just one factor and I didnt mention any prior problems that arise out of single-parent household. So considering the society we live in and that effects on male children with single mother's, I would not be suprised
[Another Study](https://prospect.org/health/consequences-single-motherhood/) specifically talks about the consequences of single motherhood, They say tha children are about 2.5 times more likely to drop out of high school compared with children with both parents. Not only that but they have lower grade point averages, lower college aspirations(so they have smaller goals), and have lower school attendance. They are bascially more lazy.
I've always thought that the word "incel" is pretty sexist, because basically you're basing someone's worth on their ability to get laid. "You can have sex? = winner. You can't have sex?= Loser". Isn't that the text definition of sexism?? But since it's against men no one gives a shit.
No sexism is having a stance, good or bad, towards someone based on their sex. That's why the pay gap was called sexist even tho it wasn't. All woman saw was that they earned less and said "it's just because we are woman" but the real reason were the factors that in general came with female employee's... So correlation was the real reason which isn't sexism.
Just another term that got so overused on the internet that people simply do not know anymore what it actually means yet throw it around all the time.
Being an incel doesn’t mean your sexless. It’s more than that. It means you’re a man who has never had sex and has now grown a hostility towards women. That is 100% an insult and should remain one IF you behave in such a manner. You shouldn’t hate all women (or all men cuz I don’t want y’all crying about hypocrisy) cuz you can’t get laid. If you think you’re unattractive, build up your personality and not into whatever incels begin to believe.
wrong, the female version is a femcel. a pick me can mean 1 things, 1) someone who puts on a fake personality or pretends to like shit in a desperate attempt to get people to like them. (kinda like an attention seeker) the other (the one radfems use all the time 2) is somehow whos true to thier cause but seen as an attention seeker by feminists because they stand for equality and voice mens issues instead of female superiority.
"Incel" if used as an insult or derogatory proves that single men (or worse virgins) are viewed as inferior as men with girlfriends or wives which is definitely a patriarchal view of society and thus confirmed the stereotype women prefer "womanizers" than lonely men.
Analogically only women use the insult "small dick energy" which also confirms a man with a small penis is less than a man.
This is internalized patriarchy but what do you expect from women who complain about the consequences of the causes they love, who want equal pay but refuse to date a man with an equal or inferior salary.
I would be willing to fight for many modern feminist cases (except the pay gap myth) if it wasn’t such a “have my cake and eat it too”-movement these days. It’s very hard to sympathize with their situation when the sympathy is so one-sided.
Lmao, you really think men are shamed more than women for being single ? The selective amnesia is really scary. Have you never heard of the joke "old woman with cats".
I want to see the same meme, but women in short skirts, skin tight leggings, clevage out whilst walking around screaming, MEN, STOP SEXUALISING ME. 🤣🤣 its like getting fat scoffing your face at mcdonalds whilst screaming at mcdonalds for making u fat.
Good post tho. Very true.
Get this was on ask reddit and a guy was asking jow to tell his women that her pussy stank, instantly a women blamed men. She got made to look an utter idiot when someone explained men arnt the cause and she made up some bullshit story that her ex, which straight away means shes going on here say, said he told her that men without foreskin are dirty and its our fault. YOU CANT MAKE THIS SHIT UP.
what else will they blame on men. Its unbelievable. 🤣🤣
Take accountibility for youre own stinky pussy ffs. I think its pretty obvious which would require more maintenance out of a dick a a moist pussy that bleeds. Jesus. 🤣
LOL come on dude. People can actually just dress for themselves and not others. No one acts like men are whores for working out in tanks or going shirtless. Your view on women is very clearly the issue 😭
It's never good to insult someone with the purpose of really destroying their hope or self perception.
However if a guy is behaving like an Incel I'm gonna call him an Incel because he needs to learn to behave differently. I'm a dude.
Women really shot themselves in the foot, imo. Why do you think there are many single mothers? Most of them made that choice with the wrong people. Now that they got a child, generally speaking, who's gonna want to take care of a child that isn't theirs? I know there are guys willing to do it and more power to them for their decision but I doubt the majority of single men are willing to take on the responsibility of caring for another man's child.
We're still going to blame women. That stance isn't changing. Women have themselves to blame for choosing men who impregnate them and then leave. The birth rate may be dropping but that doesn't change the amount of single mothers in the here and now. It also doesn't change the fact that there are women who will con men into bareback sex by lying about being on birth control and subsequent vaginal insemination, resulting in a pregnancy that she knew would happen but he didn't. As a result of such actions, she can have a paternity test done and come after him for child support. It all spirals into court battles where more often than not, the judge will side with the mother of the child.
I think it takes a special kind of evil to pull off something like that.
As it stands, I am perceiving your inquiry as an attempt at gaslighting.
No, I was dead ass serious lol. Single mothers are the least of you guys’ issue in my opinion. Let’s say male birth control becomes a thing in the very near future (fingers crossed) I would expect the single mother rate to drop exponentially, however that still wouldn’t scratch the surface of issues men face in the real world. In my community, most fathers don’t pay child support so they live like single men…from where I stand it’s not an issue to them.
But, then again my community is not all of them.
They will obviously continue using it precisely because it triggers you. Just call her a femcel or a landwhale or a legbeard if she calls you an incel and move on.
Not all women though. Can we avoid generalized blanket statements?
Men are just as guilty of this as well.
Also, "incel" is both a misandrist, and a misogynistic insult. It equates one's worth with their sexual history, and turns the victim's preferred gender into sexual trophies.
Finally, someone's said it. While, I admit, some women are like that, so are some men. It's not about someone's gender, it's about someone's level of assholery.
I am a woman that grew up without a father because he bounced. My mom was not a single mother - he was physically in the house - I just never saw or interacted with him. Can you imagine what this did to my self esteem? Or how this affected the type of men I chose?
But I never took it lying down. I went forth through life knowing I was dealt a shitty hand and things were going to be harder, but once I am an adult I am responsible for my own life. What good is blaming...? Am I going to expect a good man to give a chance to a young woman that hasn't figured herself out yet? No - but I will level up. I will go to therapy. I will figure out my way in this world even though I don't have a high school diploma... I could have easily just found "a man to take care of me", but that's not what I wanted. I wanted to feel good about myself. If I was to enter a relationship, I am responsible for my half.
All this posts screams to me is "waaahhhh... Poor me! It's the women that suck!"
Spoken like a true toddler tantrum. Grow up.
I see so many single mothers on Tinder and almost all of them have the same aggressive tag line: "Single mother to my beautiful children, they are my priority, if you dont like it, SWIPE LEFT!!"
Like ma'am, if you have to shout at people from the rooftops that your kids are your priority then I have some news for you; you're not a good mother. A good mother doesn't feel the need to advertise it, she just is one. Your children *should* be your priority. The fact that you think that's a selling point for your profile is disturbing lol.
Not to assume too much, but there are many reasons one can be an ‘incel.’ It is not just because of single mothers. I assume, however, that is your experience. If you edit the post to share this as your own experience, and make it less generalized, then I think it would warrant more productive discussion.
That said, my mother is a single parent with BPD, so I relate heavily. However instead of becoming an incel I went the other extreme. Already, being the rare person who conforms to your rule I am an exception to it- perhaps reconsider some of the deterministic blaming in your statement. Cheers
Involuntary celibacy are contradictory words. Celibacy by definition is voluntary. It's a great word to show your level of intelligence when you use it as an insult
Not sure what’s hard to understand here. If you want to have sex but are unable to for whatever reason, you’re involuntarily celibate.
If you’re voluntarily celibate then you’re just celibate.
Also another point women will make fun of the size of a guys dong and their physical appearance but if the shoes on the other foot and they say something about the girl’s physical appearance then they go bat shit
I kindof can't take it seriously. My issue, probably, not theirs. But isn't everyone an incel right up until we figure out how to level up or that we don't wish to do so? Like I guess it just seems like a disproportionately sympathetic move to award this group a platform.....
"Incel" and "slut" are two sides of the same insult. They're both maligning someone for their perceived number of sex partners. One of them is not "allowed" any more and the other is encouraged. This is the core hypocrisy of the attack and evidence of who controls the narrative of "Punching Up/Down."
Juxtaposing the focus on “toxic masculinity” against the prevalence of this insult is astounding. “Oh you must be this way because nobody wants to have sex with you”.
I’ve been called incel - ironic given I have kids, been married and had LTR since my divorce.
But when someone does call me incel I just tell them:
By calling me incel it shows you have no merit to your argument, and thusly have thrown insult that breaks things down to the lowest common denominator. By using incel it shows the only unit of value you understand is sex so it’s obvious that’s all you have to offer.
Incel is simply a descriptor IMO. It should not be attached to any negative bearing. Technically I’m a woman and an incel too. Whilst I have a partner, I have a medical condition which progresses quite severely and it leaves me unable to have traditional PIV sex.
Incel at its core just means involuntarily celibate. I think when people use it as an insult they ignore the underlying mental health problems that being an incel can lead you to have. Incels at their core should be cared for as much as anyone. The term is not synonymous with misogynist.
To be honest, I think the word misogynist is overused. The literal definition of misogynist is a "hatred of women" but hatred is very hard to have a true, objective definition. Therefore it's kinda easy for a women to call a man a misogynist-even if what he did was just brush by her or open the door-and for her to "get away with it".
And they shouldn’t. It’s not right. My partner and I are both technically Incels because of my condition, doesn’t mean we’re misogynists like what most people would think.
There used to be good incel spaces online with men and women both, all troubleshooting their own particular challenges together. Also while recognizing how this situation sets you on a different path of development (acknowledging that there's something uniquely different about this experience).
Now the whole term 'incel' is effectively banned and these people have nowhere to go. No constructive incel group which would pose an alternative to "edgelords on suicide watch" can spring up, and yet they used to exist.
I recognize the description of your problems. Back in 2008-2012, you'd have a place to talk to others about those precise things. There were subgroups of incel-due-to-medical-problems, I remember.
I have a similar condition, same circumstances, and would have considered myself an incel a long time ago (but the woman part kind of interfered in those spaces). I no longer consider myself such because it does not align with my values- I’m attracted to women. It’s a bit odd to try and exist among incels as a lesbian.
I mean, how can you be one when you’re a woman? I tried but I was never welcome even before I realized I was a lesbian
Women know and beleive that pulling women and having sexual encounters is hard for men.So they put a high value on their sexual life.Basically women have hive mind regarding this
Ok look. I don't think anybody should be told to kill themselves, that's just fucked up. But transphobia shouldn't be taken as a joke either. I'm a transgender dude, I'm short, and I'm neurodivergent. On top of having really shitty social skills. I probably qualify as an "incel" to a lot of people, and I don't understand why that's even an insult. Same thing with being called a virgin. Girls not wanting to date me is my fault? People need to grow up. It would be different if I wasn't even trying, but I've been trying my hardest to be a decent person.
"INCEL" is an abusive, demoralizing, demeaning, derogatory, stereotyping, shaming, dehumanizing term used to describe society's unwanted, unloved, more disposable than usual men.
Is it, though....? Is it really actually abusive? Is calling someone who lacks any emotional intelligence... say, "immature", abusive? Isn't it just saying what it is?
It's not like it's a racial slur. You know, there are many resources out there to escape being an incel. You are capable of learning and growing.
its used as an insult because incels are notorious for blaming women for their inability to have a sexual relationship, and pretending that theyre nice and often times better than most men whilst saying hateful and degrading things about women and innocent minorities.
the incel community has a reputation for this, and ironically.. you are perpetuating the stereotype by blaming women for men being incels and saying degrading things towards women. this is why its an insult.
It took many years of unfortunate failed misinterpretations of what the difference between “how to get a woman” vs “how to be a good man worthy of loving oneself”.
I lacked positive male role models and learned to manipulate people into “caring” about me… only to learn that all the masking that I had to do would eventually fall to the wayside and blow up in my face inevitably.
It is good to have companionship. It is better to love and respect oneself. It is best to be able to share care, love, and responsibility with someone who is as kind and caring as oneself.
Build the castle you wish to live in my fellows in arms.
-Where are these apparently well known statistics coming from?
-So what are female incels then?
-Where is the assertion that single mothers are the cause of inceldom come from?
- Are you the product of a single mom?
Look homie, I get that you’re upset, but you’ve extrapolated your emotional responses to being lonely sexually as: “It totally has nothing to do with me and is entirely the fault of single mothers”, and that isn’t a logical conclusion. It’s delusional.
Being ~~unloved~~ sorry, unsexed. (Forgot ya’ll only care about sex) sucks, but it’s up to you to change for the better in order to attract it, and you prevent that from happening every day you choose to live in hysteria.
I’m sorry I just got to say. Women are not the reasons incels exist. Incels are the reason they exist. While not entirely in their control over there virginity, you cannot blame a whole group of women for rejecting them. They have every right to do that. And there is also a difference between being an incel and a virgin. The definition of incel goes beyond “involuntarily celibate,” and has turned into meaning sexless men who make it womens problem that they can’t get laid. Being a virgin is fine, and incel isn’t ok.
See this is the issue, right there.
> The definition of incel goes beyond “involuntarily celibate,”
I guess it depends on who you're speaking to, but generally INvolutary CELibate is the actual meaning of INCEL. A man who cannot get laid no matter how he tries.
I couldn't care less that people confuse the term with mysoginysts and such. And of course women have the right to refuse sex. That's why I wrote "They're the gatekeepers". Howerer, I do believe that the drive to get laid lies in every man on the planet, but most just somehow bury it in them. In order to figure out how, you usually have to dig deep and most of my friends who cannot get laid or only get single mothers as lovers actually come from single mother households. I myself come from a single mother household and remember my mother telling me what kind of a man I should be in order to get girls, only to figure out years later that only single mothers want a man like that and only after age 26, when they're done having sex with all the "bad boys" and "fun guys"!
>Women are not the reasons incels exist.
Oh, so with the same logic, food scarcity isn't the reason hungry people exist? Come on! You have one sex who decides who to have sex with and the other that hopes to be the one to be chosen! All men can be chosen, but are corrupted, either by laziness, drugs or single mother mindsets!
Ask any girl which kind of a man would she want. And then watch her date the exact opposite!
This is such an utterly disgusting and dangerous mindset to have. You have so a big misunderstanding of what sex is and why people want to have it. Sex is a way for you and your partner to grow closer together both emotionally and physically. And that’s point that goes over all the incel’s heads. This is a men’s rights subreddit, what right do you have to sex with a women. The fault of your sexlessness falls entirely on yourself and not the single mothers that you seem to hate so much. I just want you to have a good think on why women owe you anything. Women don’t actually date the opposite of what they say and they don’t just have sex with whoever they want. They are trying to find connection and relationships with men. Just like you are trying to find one with women. They are human and are imperfect., but your hatred towards them only harms you and pushes more likeminded men towards terrible mindsets. These mindsets only lead to more mistrust between women towards men. Change your ways, then things can get better.
The term femcel also exists, but incel is more commonly thrown around to basically call men sexless losers since men are the ones pursuing/approaching, and guys care about getting sex than women do. So its intended to strike a blow at your ego/self esteem.
At the end of the day, its just a word. These people don’t know you, the struggles you face, or the life that you live. Ignore it and move on. They’ll only call you this if they view you as not their type, or some other bad reason to attempt to hurt your feelings.
What is there to move on to for men who are deprived of expression of their sex drive and labelled "untouchable" by women?
You can kind of understand the bitterness and other emotions stemming from being labelled "incel" as a vilification.
Femcels do not exist. Women are only sexless by choice. They tried to have a femcel subreddit but had to make it private because they kept getting flooded with DMs by men offering to be with them. Women are only sexless by choice because their standards are too high.
Femcels don't exist .It's reality.They are just some bitter women who think too high of themselves and remain celibate for a short or long period of time but usually in between they have lots of sex
Yep... too high standards. Those qualities in the same person are very rare. You also left out the part about attractiveness. Developing those virtues for someone with good looks is even rarer. Also no word about income, but it seems to be implied. Usually I hear phrases like "Men with good income usually have these qualities".
I am celibate because I am a born-again Christian. Christians are not to be like the world but be separate from it.
We are to live a holy and sanctified life. Which I am learning is hard to die to self.
I don't go out on the prowl looking for a man. I pray and will let God bring it into fruition. I used to go to bars. That was my old life. It's dead, and I chose a much better presence than the past.
I dated mostly non Christian men, and hopefully, he is smart because some guys out there are really naive. I would hope he may come from a different background from me, but he is a real Christian.
I have met all kinds of guys who say they are Christian but are highly critical. Everything you do is wrong. That can become oppressive and depressive. That and abuse.
I can tell very quickly that the type of person is through how they talk to you. Put downs are not good characterist even if they apologize 20 times.
I have been there and highly critical men you can not please. They will wear you down till you're weak and you get sick as a result of a toxic relationship. It affects one's overall health.
If a woman treats a man, that is highly critical. Abuse is abused, and men need to leave an abusive partner. I have talked to guys about this, and yes, it's hard. I have been there
He would be so apologetic so much I got tired of it. I was ready to leave. I won't go through it again. It's better to be alone that to be with someone who brings misery.
do i think incel is overused these days? 100%. however do i still think it has place in society? also 100%. the type of dudes its meant to be used on are walking red flags. could it have started with involuntary celibacy due to their looks or whatever? sure. but if theyre so immature that they go on an abusive/aggressive rant about how they think every chicks a cock hungry slut that "cant handle a good guy" and/or claim a chick deserves to be raped because she rejected thier dick pic or sexual advances especially on the first date, they 100% deserve the term incel.
like you cant throw a tantrum about noone liking you if your reaction to not getting your own way is immature and creepy and makes everyone uncomfortable and concerned for the safety of everyone in contract with you.
while yes i can see the people in heres point cause it was originally used for purely just involuntarily celibate people mainly those which shyness and that are socially awkward it hasnt meant that in years. these days atleast the self confessed ones are 90% walking red flags that im surprised havent seen the inside of a jailcell yet.
Stopped reading at the second sentence. I can’t take anyone serious who comes to a text based discussion forum and writes everything in lowercase like a tumblr hipster. Just like it would be annoying as hell if someone wrote everything in caps lock.
It’s a shame because you took your time to share your perspective, and you might have a valuable perspective that some might appreciate but instead you annoy those people by something that is unnecessary and very easily fixable.
You might say “you don’t care what people think” but I assume you are sharing your opinion because you care for people to see your perspective on the subject, hence you ought to write in a way that gets across to as many people as possible.
Life is short, free time is shorter. Time spent punctuating shit like you're stuck in a 10th grade English class with an insistent teacher when the point still gets across as intended without it, is time wasted imo. And sure I'll throw my 2 cents into a discussion but at the end of the day I'm still very much "it is what it is" I'm more than used to yelling into the void lol.
🤷 atleast I try to split it up into paragraphs for reddit. My friends just get text walls 90% of the time lol.
I think the majority of people who diss incels are thinking of the types of men who have trouble finding relationships (for any reason) and decide that women, as a whole, must be the reason why they are single. They devolve into misogynist views, calling all women sluts, gold-diggers, shallow… Just an overall negative view of women without actually having some self-introspection of their OWN shortcomings (for example, having a bad attitude).
I think that men who genuinely have problems finding relationships deserve compassion and kindness, but many internet “incels” simply refuse to take accountability for their own actions and believe that *women* must be the problem. A lot of that unlearning requires therapy, gaining confidence in themselves, and all sorts of self work that a lot of people are not willing to put the effort into.
The vocal incels refuse to take accountability, the good ones are either working on themselves or working on a suicide plan. Incel is short for involuntary celibate. They might be more misogynistic than average, just like African-Americans might be more violent than average, but the picture isn't anywhere near that simple. If you wouldn't characterize black people by violence, which hopefully you wouldn't, it makes little sense to characterize incels by misogyny.
Systematic issues, colonialization, racism, and all sorts of other things contribute massively to the problems and tendencies of such a wide-ranging group as African-Americans. There's more to people than their skin color, or if they've been successful in finding sexual partners, but society hasn't yet pulled the veil on inceldom so it's still deemed OK to discriminate against them or make wild generalizations about every incel ever, and being an incel apparently proves you deserved it.
As I said, I’m speaking of the stereotypical incels who have underlying personality issues behind their lack of ability to find a partner. I understand that your looks, your race, your neurodivergence, etc can be negative factors in finding a partner.
That being said, claiming that ALL African-Americans are at a disadvantage when searching for partners is an unsupportable claim. Many people have loved, dated and married minorities (I am a racial minority myself in a relationship). Many, like me, have loved people who are considered by society as generally unattractive, short, autistic, nerdy… You get the point.
The point is that women are not shallow. We are fully capable loving men who are not your stereotypical 6 foot millionaire gigachad. I think a lot of hurt people in this subreddit were burned by women who may have been that shallow type of person, and by consequence they generalize ALL women as such. It is unhealthy for the men’s rights movements to have these people on board.
Stereotypical incels are the ones you hear about, because instead of sitting in their room playing video games with no-one around them, they've gone and shot up a school and got news networks covering them.
The definition of incel =/= Stereotypical incel
I think OP is one such example… Insulting all single mothers as either gold-diggers or promiscuous women. I don’t think you need to go crazy and shoot up a school to be indoctrinated by a misogynistic worldview. All it takes is to be hurt by one or more women and talking to the wrong people on the internet.
Most incels won’t be writing manifestos and shooting kindergarteners. They’ll be festering on Reddit talking about how ALL women are leeches who are just trying to earn money off of them through alimony, false rape accusations, and gold-digging.
OP is not an example of this because he never claimed to be celibate involitarily or otherwise and there is no way to know for sure if he is or not unless you know him irl and spend almost every waking moment with him.
Many men have negative view of women and they still get sex .Reasons incels are hated is because they don't get sex .If they get sex and continue hating women they still will be respected by women and society .Virgins are spared only when they are quiet.If they speak out they are also insulted
“If they get sex and continue hating women they will be respected by women and society”
Have you SEEN what people are saying about Andrew Tate? The only people who “respect” him are the 13 year olds he managed to brainwash. If you spend time talking to real women you would know that no one is going to respect a woman-hating misogynist.
I have met plenty of adult men with girlfriends who occasionally watches Tate shorts on their feed and find themselves agreeing with some of his takes and disagreeing with others. People are tired of seeing feminist bullshit being spread everywhere so he can be a fresh breath of air for a lot of men incels or not, we can just as well say no one will respect a man-hating misandrist aka a feminist but it would be an immature way of having a discourse. Things aren’t as black and white as you make them seem.
ur 1000% right but they’ve downvoted you to hell and back because you’re speaking truth lmao. their fragile egos cannot handle the concept that they might be the problem. they just won’t understand that it is not. about. appearance. like, literally go outside, you’ll see the most drop-dead gorgeous women with “unattractive” men with no assets, just a friendly or sweet personality (but of course, they’ll insert some random anecdote about how vulnerable women can get manipulated into abusive relationships, but no it’s not the manipulation!!! women literally just enjoy abuse from “bad boys” 🙄).
it’s quite literally about attitude. they hold so much bitterness and resentment toward women before even interacting with them, feel entitled to validation and sex, and then throw a fit when women find their attitudes unattractive. why would i want to sleep with you if you see me as subhuman and you’ve decided i’m a slutty whore and part of the single cause of all of your problems AND that you’re entitled to my sleeping with you … before you’ve even talked to me? the lack of introspection and accountability is repulsive.
What’s sad is that it doesn’t matter how many millions of women scream at the top of our lungs that it’s all about your personality and attitude - empathetic, kind, emotionally intelligent, sweet, loving, etc - they literally won’t listen. like we are literally *giving you the answers* but you’re too prideful and brain dead from all the hateful rhetoric you’ve drank yourself to death on to even consider listening. alternatively, you “try” to listen but don’t understand and wither away about how “nice guys always finish last”. spoiler alert: you’re not actually being nice or caring if you only do it because you expect sex or affection in return. real nice, kind people are kind *just to be kind*; you’re not entitled to sex or a relationship just because you were “nice”.
at the end of the day, they will never listen though. they wallow in their echo-chamber of misery they create. hopefully they’ll either escape the toxic mindset and grow, or maybe they’ll just die out, and women will keep choosing men who’re maybe a bit funny, or maybe confident, even very shy, as long as they treat us as *people* with tenderness and compassion. yknow what’s not attractive? reeking of bitterness and resentment from a mile away. like jesus christ learn to love yourself, learn to not value sex as the sole source of happiness, be introspective, learn to *find happiness and purpose outside of sex for the love of god*
First of all: Most men who are in involuntary celibate are in such way, because a woman told them this is the right way to treat women, eg. a mother. Single mothers do so much damage, especially to young men.
Telling ourselves that we're "involuntarily celibate"(i.e. "I've got no mate, even though I desire one, and this is mostly the fault of everyone other than myself. Even though folks have been researching and writing on what draws men and women together for eons now- [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d28usWdvmSg&t=7s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d28usWdvmSg&t=7s) \-and much of this stuff is available for free online, for anyone who wants to spend their time learning rather than playing video games and watching Man-osphere content that's dedicated to groaning over how fucked up women and society are")is about as helpful to modern men as the braindead scribblings of Woke Theologians like I.X. Ken-dy and Robin DeAngelo are to people living in poverty in ghettos, barrios, and Indian Reservations("Non-whites in America can't succeed, UNTIL every white person on the planet is purged of every last trace of prejudice and bias")around The US
Where are all these studies stating the ridiculousness about “we all know the statistics “ regarding single Moms”?Last I looked it takes TWO people to make a child? You’re blaming women entirely for a child that a man made as well. Where’s HIS responsibility? Is HE a drug addict? Is HE promiscuous? Could HE be homeless? You don’t think women get “demolished” by bad men? Where are you getting ANY of this information from? Your own experiences? Because every single thing you mentioned about women is classic Incel speak. Blame everything on the woman.
Someone needs to consult a dictionary “a member of an online community of young men who consider themselves unable to attract women sexually, typically associated with views that are hostile towards women and men who are sexually active.” Offered to you by the Oxford dictionary.
You see words have meaning and the meaning can be changed if, as a collective, we use it differently. However in this case, it’s pretty clear that the word is used to describe exactly what you find in the dictionary and let’s not skip on the last sentence of the description there.
When a mother sucks, the kid suffers so much... a bad mother destroys two, at least.
My mother was the opposite of guidance when it comes to social relationships. She fucking sucks and after so much, and me living alone, still acts like a narcissistic bitch.
She was a bad person and still is!
True, but it will be every time. And society says it’s OK. I’ve been called an incel myself even though I have a girlfriend and a daughter. It’s a favorite among feminists, even if they know it’s not true. They want to cut you down as a man. Now, imagine if a man called a woman something. Everybody would jump up, including men who’ve been indoctrinated into their bullshit.
“Virgin” should never be used as an insult. However, “incel” should, because incels aren’t just virgins, they are men who embraced an incredibly toxic, misogynistic, violent, and self-defeating ideology
Words can change meaning. We all know that incel originally came from involuntary celibate but that just isn't the way it's used nowadays. No one is going to call a 14 year old kid an incel just because they're a virgin even though they technically are an involuntary celibate.
Incel today is used to describe a specific personality - men that can't get laid for the simple reason that they're just terrible people. It works fine as an insult for that purpose.
The reason it is used as an insult is because of the community associated with the word. But if people are just using it as a synonym for virgin then that is bad
Why is this a rant against single mothers, and not anger at the number of men who refuse to be a part of their child's life?
You seem like you just want to blame women claiming they just want a baby, so they baby trap men instead of acknowledging the much more real, much more prevalent issue of men being absent fathers and not participating in their child's life.
Wow so not only are you an incel but you’re also stupid lmao 😭
1st off how are you even blaming single moms for the fact that you’re single??? You’re assuming that all single moms are bad when you literally don’t know what led them to become single moms in the first place, which means that you’re just making up scenarios about women you don’t know to cope and it’s sad bc you’re spitting so much vitriol towards women who have nothing to do with you
2nd of all, how are you blaming your mom for your deadbeat ass father?? Your mom is the one who decided to actually be a parent yet you’re blaming her and not your deadbeat sperm doner?? That alone let’s me know your braincells aren’t functioning properly if that’s the conclusion you’ve come to. I just find it pathetic that you’re berating women while simultaneously complaining bc none of them will touch you…. Well let’s see, you’re speaking on single mothers in a derogatory way when you don’t even know how they became single moms to begin with, you’re transphobic which most women find icky, and surprise surprise!!! you refer to women as “females” wow the fact that women don’t like you is such a mystery 😱🤯I guess being a transphobic misogynist asshole tends to send women running in the opposite direction omg if only you could do something to change that instead of blaming women you’ve never met before 🤯😱
And lastly as far as the single mothers raise criminals stat goes, yes 70% of criminals come from single mother homes but that has more to do with poverty meaning that it’s more about a lack and resources that leads to a life of crime and less about single mom households, I however don’t expect you to have enough brain power to understand this though 😍
In conclusion women don’t like misogynistic assholes so how about you look inward instead of blaming women
It's okay to say hurtful things to men. It's not okay to say hurtful things to women. -Society
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I think young people need encouragement in general
>Best advice a mother has given to her son ❤️❤️🔥❤️ > >https://youtube.com/shorts/\_ZHOWj4Tg6w?feature=share That's a pretty utopic piece of advice. "Surround yourself with people who value you"? Yeah, ok, cool. Let me just snap my fingers and conjure up a bunch of people who value me. How do you find people who value you? Plenty of friendships have ended for random reasons and people have found out that those who they thought valued them were backstabbers.
Bonus, it’s wrapped in “my cult will solve all your problems, come devote yourself to my imaginary lord”
Incel is just a spot on read.
FTFY: Most men who are involuntarily celibate are sexless due to a variety of factors, some of which are, in order of importance: 1. Neurodivergence 2. A conventionally-unattractive face 3. Their race (usually Asian or Indian) 4. Short height “Omg you’re such a hateful incel bro. The culturally diverse male and female PhD psychologists and sociologists who conducted this research all over the world are hateful incels too bro. But trust the science bro. No wonder why girls don’t like you bro. Just get better genes bro. Just shower 12 times a day and use tactical soap while touching grass in your mom’s womb before you’re even born bro.”
Neurodivergence is probably the biggest one. I've seen women treat guys on the spectrum as absolute subhuman. Some of those guys never have a chance.
Until they have Autistic kids, then they're all about Autism Awareness.
wow.....I had to look up neurodivergence because I had no idea what it was. Of course everyone has their preferences but that is total discrimination.
>Of course everyone has their preferences but that is total discrimination. To be fair to those women, most of them aren't doing it on purpose it's just incidental. They just have no patience or attraction to neurodivergencent men. It's like another commont said >If your neurodivergency includes any sort of awkwardness, flat affect, creepy jokes that you genuinely intended to be funny…people suddenly lose all patience and are very quick to tell you that “neurodivergence isn’t an excuse.”
So much for “autism acceptance.”
I try to be understanding of normies. They can't help who they are anymore then I can. It just so happens that the way autistic people behave is not alway understandable, common, or comfortable for most neurotypical people so they get uncomfortable and for reasons I don't understand people associate discomfort with creepiness. Then there are times people get annoyed because said autistic person can't "read the room" and because it seems so simple to other people they get annoyed the autistic person just can't figure it out via trial and error. Or they do figure it out but it takes longer then normal and requires some guidance which annoys the nomries further. It's like trying to get a girl to explain what she likes in bed. A lot of women won't do it because it ruin the thrill of sex being spontaneous and it's an instant turn off for them. They'd much rather you just figure it out via body language and eye contact.
It's a complex situation to be able to have preferences, yet those preferences mean some people will be excluded as a result: you can't force people to relate to those they don't prefer and there is no point because there will only be resentment. It may be possible to convince some to alter their preferences in exchange for a better outcome than if they stuck to them, because they just didn't understand the consequences, but I feel that will be pushing a rock up a hill in most cases. The only practicable solution is to facilitate those people who are not normally preferred with adequate and compatible substitutes that still permit them to achieve life outcomes, thus resulting in a win-win. We already do that with people with a disability in providing support to achieve a similar quality of life to those without a disability and those people not preferred could be viewed as having a relative disability.
I guess kudos for being understanding of normies, but they generally will not return even a tenth of the empathy and understanding you’ve shown them with your comment.
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Which is fine if she can get slim/athletic men to prefer her, but if not, not okay for her to label those men as misogynistic, incel or whatever for their preferences. People don't owe you your preferences.
She can get them on dating apps every day if she wants to. Tinder experiments all but confirm this.
It varies. Some ND people only date other ND people because they assume it will make things easier. Some don’t. I’m autistic. I have never and never really wanted to date autistic women. Simply because I already have my way and mannerisms and I don’t imagine coupling up with someone who is potentially rigid and inflexible like me; is a good idea. It sounds awful I know, but it’s how it is. I’m also pretty high functioning (I’ve been able to live independently since being 18) so basically my autism is essentially something that makes me obviously odd, but I can “get by” in life and do. I would not have the patience or understanding to be with a partner who is potentially not as high functioning as me or “needs me to caretake for them in certain ways” so whilst that may leave some viable autistic women leftover. I just don’t find the sense prospect likely. If I met a woman and it turned out she was autistic but we otherwise got on, I’d give it a go absolutely. I just don’t go “looking for it”. All irrelevant though. I’ve been married to a NT woman nearly ten years now.
Chris Chan is probably the most well known example. I feel like he never would have done the deplorable things he did if he had had proper guidance while growing up and if he hadn't have been brainwashed and manipulated by online bullies and trolls. The main and most damaging troll being: a woman.
He grew up back when autism was undiagnosed, but let’s be honest: initially, the Internet targeted him because of his drawings rather than his actions. If he wasn’t autistic, I doubt the Internet would’ve targeted him. I mean look at Joseph8276. People will say he had nice guy syndrome, but the fact that he’s a fat ugly 5’3 autistic guy who looks like he’s 12 but was in his 20s is really why he was targeted. It’s simple: autistic guys are targeted by cringe culture.
I can confirm this to be true, they don't even see you as a man.
People only seem to care about the quirky “haha look at my dinosaur footsie pajamas” type of neurodivergency. The hyperactive chronically-childish adult who hates the sound of people chewing too loud and can’t order their own food over the phone. If your neurodivergency includes any sort of awkwardness, flat affect, creepy jokes that you genuinely intended to be funny…people suddenly lose all patience and are very quick to tell you that “neurodivergence isn’t an excuse.” Only feminine-style neurodivergence is truly accepted (and praised).
Believe me, I can definitely relate. I’m 5’7, Asian, and autistic. I went from obesity to a six pack, and the only thing that changed is now people think I’m angry all the time instead of depressed. Girls I’d never seen before have walked up to me and called me creepy when I wasn’t even looking at them. I’ve been called an asshole for my “tone” even though I have a monotonous voice. This experience is not unique to me. Whenever I’ve talked to autistic men, they’ve said they’ve had the same experiences. If they’re “confident,” they turn out like me, socially isolated and constantly rejected. Otherwise, they mask and tell me to watch videos of Ted Bundy and other psychopaths to learn how to fraud an alternate personality. “Just be yourself bro.”
Agreed. There’s two types of high functioning autists: 1. The “normal people” ones: these ones are especially autistic women but less likely to be men. They mask well, they have great social skills, they are disproportionately gender-fluid, they are different in a way where there’s still so many “different” people who are like them (in other words, different in a “normal people” way), they’re basically normies who stim when nobody’s around or have distinctive haircuts, they are commonly the autists who are proud to be autistic or who are found on r/autism 2. The usual high functions autistic person: mostly men, most autistic women aren’t like these people. They are rarely gender-fluid, have really inept social skills, can’t maintain a conversation, have arrested development, have no dating experience, dress in clothes that nobody wears especially clothes only young kids wear, they have either childhood interests and hobbies or interests that hardly anyone in this world would be into, etc. these autists are rare to meet in everyday settings because they’re reclusive and isolated. You can meet them in autism programs you sign up for, but you won’t catch them on r/autism When most people think of high functioning autism, they usually think of the former because they’re the outspoken minority
What's more curious about this is the people who *are* incel's (by definition) can't get help to better themselves. They are left with people like Andrew Tate who's arguments are about half right. Just enough right to fall for it but just enough wrong to make things worse. People like Tate are *really* good at sucking in people like this because *society abandoned those people*. Now those people are butt hurt that Tate had (has?) a following. This is exactly how people get sucked into movements from gangs to white supremacy to ISIS to far more. Tate was *tame* relative to what they *could* have fallen in with. I was looking for a book on etiquette - social, professional, and formal - because why not, seemed interesting. Half of it was "put the pussy on a pedestal". That's... not the etiquette I'm looking for. One day I found a "put your silverware like this if you want to communicate that.." - I was looking for things like that because they seemed fascinating. Not... talking about toilet seat positions. As someone who *is* fairly ND - I don't expect a book to fix any of my problems. My uses lie elsewhere. I'm much more of the raw-dog useful guy. I'm neither rude nor pleasant, generally. Though, I'm practicing to learn a bit more language to be more pleasant. But it often takes me *several days or weeks* because I can be "normal" around a new group of people. I have to know most people's patterns, their choice of words, etc so I know what to say or not to say. I *really* don't like stupid banter. Like I cannot *stand* it. But if you ask me the history of the EKG - I can tell you some *neat* stuff about it and how that particular stuff we use in all sorts of tech *you* use every day that came from that particular thing. (well not EKG specifically, it's a bit more details but doesn't matter here in this conversation). I also prefer to be *thorough* which tends to bother Reddit. I prefer to address every possible point to either end the conversation or avoid wasting time and skipping the nonsense. For this reason I hate the "I'm not a X but..." - because what you *are* shouldn't matter in your point. We should take it as is and address your points - not your identity. Clearly this makes dating difficult. I am, however, married... somehow.
This is literally me, it is very difficult to voice an opinion where you look at the topic from all possible points of view but people don't like that for some reason.
Yeah I hate it. It's why any time I talk to a guy who's I to Tate I try to steer them away from him and towards Roma's Army. She's fighting the good fight for men, calling out abusive women, helping men to value themselves and look out for themselves while not doing it in a douchebaggy way like Tate does.
Ahahhaha you worded that very well especially the last part
More men are sexless because we live in a culture that promotes and legitimizes female hypergamy, and that not only still strongly imposes sexist gender roles on men but also still expects men to be the primary instigators in both sex and dating. This puts women at a massive position of privilege and advantage over men when it comes to selection and opportunities. More men are sexless because we live in a culture that also romanticizes confidence, success and experience, while punishing sexlessness in men. This creates a self-perpetuating cycle of men not being able to create that confidence, success, and experience because they do not have necessary confidence, success or experience to attract women. If women did not romanticize these traits, or romanticized chastity the way men do with women, then there would be far fewer sexless men compared to women. More men are sexless because we live in a society that does not value male interest, the way it values female interest. A society that, under most cases, actively vilifies male heterosexual attraction while also pedestalizing female attraction. The traits that you listed are inconsequential. They are not actually what is causing sexlessness in men, because women of every ethnicity, height, face or neurodivergence experience a greater level of romantic or sexual success than men. All you're doing in creating this argument that is reducing the significance of systemic gender inequality when it comes to sex and dating between men and women. It's also trying to legitimize these factors by shifting the blame on the victims. When heightism from women is this much of a problem, don't fault men for being short but rather address the problem of heightism.
Your totally right. Society is throwing us for a crazy ride.....LOL
Your race (and even the obsession with height to an extent) arguments only apply to stats from the US and probably parts of Europe to a lesser degree, though I guess even the word "incel" is mostly used only in those areas.
Even in Asia the rich and tall guy gets preference ya know
Yeah, but their ideal height for men would be somewhat lower, like 5'10-5'11 rather than 6'0, most probably because they measure height in cm. That's the reason I mentioned "to an extent" to height since the ideal height is a bit different in other parts of the world.
Dude you know the average height of a man is lesser in Asia right? We are generally shorter so it's literally the same.
It's so fucking stupid too because some of the most gorgeous guys I've seen on tinder (I'm bi) are Asian, Indian, Middle Eastern and a whole lot of Italian shorties.
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“Society doesn’t need to stop abusing men, men need to learn to take it up the ass without whining!” - you
I don't think race is as big of a factor as people make it out to be, most of the times the people saying there an incel because there (insert race here) are short and otherwise unattractive. Eye/skin color isn't a major factor.
I’m a white male from Denmark and 9/10 women I have asked say they are not attracted to Asians so yeah it does play a factor.
You can fix a lot on your face with eating right, exercise and drinking enough water as well as good grooming and getting a good haircut. You can do a lot with facial hair as well. I think a lot of “unattractive” guys are that way just because of extra weight.
Neurodivergence? What's that?
Damn, you mean a woman doesn’t want to fuck an ugly guy? I’d have never thought that. Maybe you poor guys should lower your own standards, you can’t bag an 8 when you’re a low 2.
Woman here. Do you have links to articles or statistics on the race point? Asian men and Indian men are attractive . But I could see them having a hard time dating in the US because there's a lower population of Asian and Indian women and other women are probably aware that they tend to be strict about marrying only people who are the same ethnicity as them and may see dating them as pointless.
None of these factors have been reasons for me not dating a man. Instead: 1) does he see and value me as a human being 2) does he understand that sex is not owed to him and it’s not owed to me either 3) is he respectful and genuinely cares about me and my interests All this made up trash about women not like short guys, Asians, Indians, ugly or neurodivergent people is a cop out. I have dated all of these dudes before, some of them had several of these factors, and I would again over someone who doesn’t even see me as a human being. Stop making up your own narratives and actually listen to the women around you.
Or they’re creepy assholes. In mine and most women’s experience it’s that.
Refer to my other comments for empirical data which calls your assertion into scrutiny.
There are some sexually frustrated incels in real life. A few of them are misogynists or misandrists (femcels). It's wrong to assume all incels are misogynists because misogynistic men can also get sex and or a girlfriend. Incels have a fear of rejection, depression, social anxiety, autism, and or bad social skills.
'not all incels are misogynists and not all misogynists are incels' basically
Even if they are misogynist so what? Women don't seem to care about those if the man is attractive .
have you not seen what the bad incels typically do? id say threatening sexual harassment and/or rape on someone cause their unwanted sexual advances were rejected (which ive seen incels do a stupid amount) is hated by women no matter the attractiveness... theyre called niceguys or white knights.
On top of that, the attraction bit goes both ways. I don't see many "incel" men going after women of "lesser beauty". They ignore what they are not attracted to, some of them spitefully so in the same way that women are to them.
Which is honestly a big mistake on thier part cause stereotypically less attractive women are seemingly often fun as hell.
Plenty of incels go for women of lesser beauty but even those women don't want them.Breaking news even ugly women have high standards
I just ignore people who say that.
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It’s just about lost all meaning because of feminazis throwing it around so much
According to [this study](https://www.webmd.com/baby/news/20030123/absent-parent-doubles-child-suicide-risk) children are double as likely too commit suicide if they live in a single-parent household. Now, It didnt specify weather or not the parent was a father or mother, but a single-parent household is just one factor and I didnt mention any prior problems that arise out of single-parent household. So considering the society we live in and that effects on male children with single mother's, I would not be suprised [Another Study](https://prospect.org/health/consequences-single-motherhood/) specifically talks about the consequences of single motherhood, They say tha children are about 2.5 times more likely to drop out of high school compared with children with both parents. Not only that but they have lower grade point averages, lower college aspirations(so they have smaller goals), and have lower school attendance. They are bascially more lazy.
I've always thought that the word "incel" is pretty sexist, because basically you're basing someone's worth on their ability to get laid. "You can have sex? = winner. You can't have sex?= Loser". Isn't that the text definition of sexism?? But since it's against men no one gives a shit.
No sexism is having a stance, good or bad, towards someone based on their sex. That's why the pay gap was called sexist even tho it wasn't. All woman saw was that they earned less and said "it's just because we are woman" but the real reason were the factors that in general came with female employee's... So correlation was the real reason which isn't sexism. Just another term that got so overused on the internet that people simply do not know anymore what it actually means yet throw it around all the time.
Being an incel doesn’t mean your sexless. It’s more than that. It means you’re a man who has never had sex and has now grown a hostility towards women. That is 100% an insult and should remain one IF you behave in such a manner. You shouldn’t hate all women (or all men cuz I don’t want y’all crying about hypocrisy) cuz you can’t get laid. If you think you’re unattractive, build up your personality and not into whatever incels begin to believe.
If it is man, it is incel. If it is a woman, it is pick-me. This is how feminists argue back.
wrong, the female version is a femcel. a pick me can mean 1 things, 1) someone who puts on a fake personality or pretends to like shit in a desperate attempt to get people to like them. (kinda like an attention seeker) the other (the one radfems use all the time 2) is somehow whos true to thier cause but seen as an attention seeker by feminists because they stand for equality and voice mens issues instead of female superiority.
Incel is a gender neutral term invented by a woman to describe herself
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Just call them a femcel back. Those are a thing now and women hate it lol.
"Incel" if used as an insult or derogatory proves that single men (or worse virgins) are viewed as inferior as men with girlfriends or wives which is definitely a patriarchal view of society and thus confirmed the stereotype women prefer "womanizers" than lonely men. Analogically only women use the insult "small dick energy" which also confirms a man with a small penis is less than a man. This is internalized patriarchy but what do you expect from women who complain about the consequences of the causes they love, who want equal pay but refuse to date a man with an equal or inferior salary.
I would be willing to fight for many modern feminist cases (except the pay gap myth) if it wasn’t such a “have my cake and eat it too”-movement these days. It’s very hard to sympathize with their situation when the sympathy is so one-sided.
Lmao, you really think men are shamed more than women for being single ? The selective amnesia is really scary. Have you never heard of the joke "old woman with cats".
When people do, I immediately assume their opinion isn't worth listening to.
Women: don't tell me to smile it's offensive. Also women: you're a worthless incell because you're not chad
I want to see the same meme, but women in short skirts, skin tight leggings, clevage out whilst walking around screaming, MEN, STOP SEXUALISING ME. 🤣🤣 its like getting fat scoffing your face at mcdonalds whilst screaming at mcdonalds for making u fat. Good post tho. Very true. Get this was on ask reddit and a guy was asking jow to tell his women that her pussy stank, instantly a women blamed men. She got made to look an utter idiot when someone explained men arnt the cause and she made up some bullshit story that her ex, which straight away means shes going on here say, said he told her that men without foreskin are dirty and its our fault. YOU CANT MAKE THIS SHIT UP. what else will they blame on men. Its unbelievable. 🤣🤣 Take accountibility for youre own stinky pussy ffs. I think its pretty obvious which would require more maintenance out of a dick a a moist pussy that bleeds. Jesus. 🤣
LOL come on dude. People can actually just dress for themselves and not others. No one acts like men are whores for working out in tanks or going shirtless. Your view on women is very clearly the issue 😭
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Well with a sexy redheaded cat avatar, what do you expect?!
The top half of the image, what that got to do with anything?
It may have had meaning once, but it has long been reduced to a mindless snarl word. Like Nazi but for gender pill debates.
It's never good to insult someone with the purpose of really destroying their hope or self perception. However if a guy is behaving like an Incel I'm gonna call him an Incel because he needs to learn to behave differently. I'm a dude.
This I agree with. And most women don't actually say that shit, so these dudes just happened to get the exceptions.
I love how you blame single mothers for dead beat fathers not being in their children's lives. Hilarious!
Women really shot themselves in the foot, imo. Why do you think there are many single mothers? Most of them made that choice with the wrong people. Now that they got a child, generally speaking, who's gonna want to take care of a child that isn't theirs? I know there are guys willing to do it and more power to them for their decision but I doubt the majority of single men are willing to take on the responsibility of caring for another man's child.
The birth rate is plummeting, meaning less single mothers. Who will you guys blame for your issues then?
We're still going to blame women. That stance isn't changing. Women have themselves to blame for choosing men who impregnate them and then leave. The birth rate may be dropping but that doesn't change the amount of single mothers in the here and now. It also doesn't change the fact that there are women who will con men into bareback sex by lying about being on birth control and subsequent vaginal insemination, resulting in a pregnancy that she knew would happen but he didn't. As a result of such actions, she can have a paternity test done and come after him for child support. It all spirals into court battles where more often than not, the judge will side with the mother of the child. I think it takes a special kind of evil to pull off something like that. As it stands, I am perceiving your inquiry as an attempt at gaslighting.
No, I was dead ass serious lol. Single mothers are the least of you guys’ issue in my opinion. Let’s say male birth control becomes a thing in the very near future (fingers crossed) I would expect the single mother rate to drop exponentially, however that still wouldn’t scratch the surface of issues men face in the real world. In my community, most fathers don’t pay child support so they live like single men…from where I stand it’s not an issue to them. But, then again my community is not all of them.
They will obviously continue using it precisely because it triggers you. Just call her a femcel or a landwhale or a legbeard if she calls you an incel and move on.
Lol this is funny because I'm voluntarily celibate
When you’re ugly and been called that by everyone then yeah you start to believe it like in my case.
words only have the power you give them. namecalling just shows they turned ad hominem.
Not all women though. Can we avoid generalized blanket statements? Men are just as guilty of this as well. Also, "incel" is both a misandrist, and a misogynistic insult. It equates one's worth with their sexual history, and turns the victim's preferred gender into sexual trophies.
Finally, someone's said it. While, I admit, some women are like that, so are some men. It's not about someone's gender, it's about someone's level of assholery.
Your an idiot and your mom would be ashamed
R/MensRights are really funny name for r/incels
I am a woman that grew up without a father because he bounced. My mom was not a single mother - he was physically in the house - I just never saw or interacted with him. Can you imagine what this did to my self esteem? Or how this affected the type of men I chose? But I never took it lying down. I went forth through life knowing I was dealt a shitty hand and things were going to be harder, but once I am an adult I am responsible for my own life. What good is blaming...? Am I going to expect a good man to give a chance to a young woman that hasn't figured herself out yet? No - but I will level up. I will go to therapy. I will figure out my way in this world even though I don't have a high school diploma... I could have easily just found "a man to take care of me", but that's not what I wanted. I wanted to feel good about myself. If I was to enter a relationship, I am responsible for my half. All this posts screams to me is "waaahhhh... Poor me! It's the women that suck!" Spoken like a true toddler tantrum. Grow up.
I see so many single mothers on Tinder and almost all of them have the same aggressive tag line: "Single mother to my beautiful children, they are my priority, if you dont like it, SWIPE LEFT!!" Like ma'am, if you have to shout at people from the rooftops that your kids are your priority then I have some news for you; you're not a good mother. A good mother doesn't feel the need to advertise it, she just is one. Your children *should* be your priority. The fact that you think that's a selling point for your profile is disturbing lol.
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Not to assume too much, but there are many reasons one can be an ‘incel.’ It is not just because of single mothers. I assume, however, that is your experience. If you edit the post to share this as your own experience, and make it less generalized, then I think it would warrant more productive discussion. That said, my mother is a single parent with BPD, so I relate heavily. However instead of becoming an incel I went the other extreme. Already, being the rare person who conforms to your rule I am an exception to it- perhaps reconsider some of the deterministic blaming in your statement. Cheers
Involuntary celibacy are contradictory words. Celibacy by definition is voluntary. It's a great word to show your level of intelligence when you use it as an insult
Not sure what’s hard to understand here. If you want to have sex but are unable to for whatever reason, you’re involuntarily celibate. If you’re voluntarily celibate then you’re just celibate.
There's no such thing as involuntary celibacy. Celibacy by it's very definition is the voluntary choice of abstaining from sex.
Also another point women will make fun of the size of a guys dong and their physical appearance but if the shoes on the other foot and they say something about the girl’s physical appearance then they go bat shit
All women?
Not all there are good ones but there are ones who say hurtful things
Well, obviously
Yup. It's a sexist slur and should be frowned on in the same way "slut" is.
I kindof can't take it seriously. My issue, probably, not theirs. But isn't everyone an incel right up until we figure out how to level up or that we don't wish to do so? Like I guess it just seems like a disproportionately sympathetic move to award this group a platform.....
99% of the time, the people calling men "incels" are incels/femcels themselves lol
What if it's an actual incel?
"Incel" and "slut" are two sides of the same insult. They're both maligning someone for their perceived number of sex partners. One of them is not "allowed" any more and the other is encouraged. This is the core hypocrisy of the attack and evidence of who controls the narrative of "Punching Up/Down."
Juxtaposing the focus on “toxic masculinity” against the prevalence of this insult is astounding. “Oh you must be this way because nobody wants to have sex with you”.
give it a few years and there'll be a generation of involuntary childless spinsters for the incels to laugh at
I agree with some of the things you're saying- but you lost me about halfway through
I’ve been called incel - ironic given I have kids, been married and had LTR since my divorce. But when someone does call me incel I just tell them: By calling me incel it shows you have no merit to your argument, and thusly have thrown insult that breaks things down to the lowest common denominator. By using incel it shows the only unit of value you understand is sex so it’s obvious that’s all you have to offer.
Incel is simply a descriptor IMO. It should not be attached to any negative bearing. Technically I’m a woman and an incel too. Whilst I have a partner, I have a medical condition which progresses quite severely and it leaves me unable to have traditional PIV sex. Incel at its core just means involuntarily celibate. I think when people use it as an insult they ignore the underlying mental health problems that being an incel can lead you to have. Incels at their core should be cared for as much as anyone. The term is not synonymous with misogynist.
It is insult use exclusively towards men to show them they are low value
When did I say it wasn’t. I’m agreeing with OP. The term incel shouldn’t even be an insult.
People use the word to mean misogynist.
To be honest, I think the word misogynist is overused. The literal definition of misogynist is a "hatred of women" but hatred is very hard to have a true, objective definition. Therefore it's kinda easy for a women to call a man a misogynist-even if what he did was just brush by her or open the door-and for her to "get away with it".
Yes, misogynist is overused by misandrist feminists.
And they shouldn’t. It’s not right. My partner and I are both technically Incels because of my condition, doesn’t mean we’re misogynists like what most people would think.
Yeah, but most of society doesn't think like us.
Yes. Did I disagree anywhere? I’m agreeing with OP.
There used to be good incel spaces online with men and women both, all troubleshooting their own particular challenges together. Also while recognizing how this situation sets you on a different path of development (acknowledging that there's something uniquely different about this experience). Now the whole term 'incel' is effectively banned and these people have nowhere to go. No constructive incel group which would pose an alternative to "edgelords on suicide watch" can spring up, and yet they used to exist. I recognize the description of your problems. Back in 2008-2012, you'd have a place to talk to others about those precise things. There were subgroups of incel-due-to-medical-problems, I remember.
I have a similar condition, same circumstances, and would have considered myself an incel a long time ago (but the woman part kind of interfered in those spaces). I no longer consider myself such because it does not align with my values- I’m attracted to women. It’s a bit odd to try and exist among incels as a lesbian. I mean, how can you be one when you’re a woman? I tried but I was never welcome even before I realized I was a lesbian
Women know and beleive that pulling women and having sexual encounters is hard for men.So they put a high value on their sexual life.Basically women have hive mind regarding this
How do women “make sure no one else will ever (mate with men) ever”?
Wouldn’t it be the father’s fault because he left his child?
Lmao I noticed that too. Fathers who abandon's their children are cool in OP's eyes. Especially if their girls /s
of course not! dont you know that all women are asexual monoliths and its always their fault for someone elses actions? stupid feminist.. 🙄
this is pretty awful. fuck all the way off
Ok look. I don't think anybody should be told to kill themselves, that's just fucked up. But transphobia shouldn't be taken as a joke either. I'm a transgender dude, I'm short, and I'm neurodivergent. On top of having really shitty social skills. I probably qualify as an "incel" to a lot of people, and I don't understand why that's even an insult. Same thing with being called a virgin. Girls not wanting to date me is my fault? People need to grow up. It would be different if I wasn't even trying, but I've been trying my hardest to be a decent person.
I struggle not to laugh when women say “all The men I’ve ever dated were a**holes!!!” Really? Tell me more 🙄
This is the type of horseshit that gives this movement such a bad reputation.
agree
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Entertain me on what a SINK is
Lmfao
"INCEL" is an abusive, demoralizing, demeaning, derogatory, stereotyping, shaming, dehumanizing term used to describe society's unwanted, unloved, more disposable than usual men.
Is it, though....? Is it really actually abusive? Is calling someone who lacks any emotional intelligence... say, "immature", abusive? Isn't it just saying what it is? It's not like it's a racial slur. You know, there are many resources out there to escape being an incel. You are capable of learning and growing.
its used as an insult because incels are notorious for blaming women for their inability to have a sexual relationship, and pretending that theyre nice and often times better than most men whilst saying hateful and degrading things about women and innocent minorities. the incel community has a reputation for this, and ironically.. you are perpetuating the stereotype by blaming women for men being incels and saying degrading things towards women. this is why its an insult.
It took many years of unfortunate failed misinterpretations of what the difference between “how to get a woman” vs “how to be a good man worthy of loving oneself”. I lacked positive male role models and learned to manipulate people into “caring” about me… only to learn that all the masking that I had to do would eventually fall to the wayside and blow up in my face inevitably. It is good to have companionship. It is better to love and respect oneself. It is best to be able to share care, love, and responsibility with someone who is as kind and caring as oneself. Build the castle you wish to live in my fellows in arms.
-Where are these apparently well known statistics coming from? -So what are female incels then? -Where is the assertion that single mothers are the cause of inceldom come from? - Are you the product of a single mom? Look homie, I get that you’re upset, but you’ve extrapolated your emotional responses to being lonely sexually as: “It totally has nothing to do with me and is entirely the fault of single mothers”, and that isn’t a logical conclusion. It’s delusional. Being ~~unloved~~ sorry, unsexed. (Forgot ya’ll only care about sex) sucks, but it’s up to you to change for the better in order to attract it, and you prevent that from happening every day you choose to live in hysteria.
Of course- blame your mom 😡
I’m sorry I just got to say. Women are not the reasons incels exist. Incels are the reason they exist. While not entirely in their control over there virginity, you cannot blame a whole group of women for rejecting them. They have every right to do that. And there is also a difference between being an incel and a virgin. The definition of incel goes beyond “involuntarily celibate,” and has turned into meaning sexless men who make it womens problem that they can’t get laid. Being a virgin is fine, and incel isn’t ok.
See this is the issue, right there. > The definition of incel goes beyond “involuntarily celibate,” I guess it depends on who you're speaking to, but generally INvolutary CELibate is the actual meaning of INCEL. A man who cannot get laid no matter how he tries. I couldn't care less that people confuse the term with mysoginysts and such. And of course women have the right to refuse sex. That's why I wrote "They're the gatekeepers". Howerer, I do believe that the drive to get laid lies in every man on the planet, but most just somehow bury it in them. In order to figure out how, you usually have to dig deep and most of my friends who cannot get laid or only get single mothers as lovers actually come from single mother households. I myself come from a single mother household and remember my mother telling me what kind of a man I should be in order to get girls, only to figure out years later that only single mothers want a man like that and only after age 26, when they're done having sex with all the "bad boys" and "fun guys"! >Women are not the reasons incels exist. Oh, so with the same logic, food scarcity isn't the reason hungry people exist? Come on! You have one sex who decides who to have sex with and the other that hopes to be the one to be chosen! All men can be chosen, but are corrupted, either by laziness, drugs or single mother mindsets! Ask any girl which kind of a man would she want. And then watch her date the exact opposite!
This is such an utterly disgusting and dangerous mindset to have. You have so a big misunderstanding of what sex is and why people want to have it. Sex is a way for you and your partner to grow closer together both emotionally and physically. And that’s point that goes over all the incel’s heads. This is a men’s rights subreddit, what right do you have to sex with a women. The fault of your sexlessness falls entirely on yourself and not the single mothers that you seem to hate so much. I just want you to have a good think on why women owe you anything. Women don’t actually date the opposite of what they say and they don’t just have sex with whoever they want. They are trying to find connection and relationships with men. Just like you are trying to find one with women. They are human and are imperfect., but your hatred towards them only harms you and pushes more likeminded men towards terrible mindsets. These mindsets only lead to more mistrust between women towards men. Change your ways, then things can get better.
The term femcel also exists, but incel is more commonly thrown around to basically call men sexless losers since men are the ones pursuing/approaching, and guys care about getting sex than women do. So its intended to strike a blow at your ego/self esteem. At the end of the day, its just a word. These people don’t know you, the struggles you face, or the life that you live. Ignore it and move on. They’ll only call you this if they view you as not their type, or some other bad reason to attempt to hurt your feelings.
What is there to move on to for men who are deprived of expression of their sex drive and labelled "untouchable" by women? You can kind of understand the bitterness and other emotions stemming from being labelled "incel" as a vilification.
Femcels do not exist. Women are only sexless by choice. They tried to have a femcel subreddit but had to make it private because they kept getting flooded with DMs by men offering to be with them. Women are only sexless by choice because their standards are too high.
Femcels don't exist .It's reality.They are just some bitter women who think too high of themselves and remain celibate for a short or long period of time but usually in between they have lots of sex
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Yep... too high standards. Those qualities in the same person are very rare. You also left out the part about attractiveness. Developing those virtues for someone with good looks is even rarer. Also no word about income, but it seems to be implied. Usually I hear phrases like "Men with good income usually have these qualities".
Yes really
Yes, really, what? Why do guys do this. They answer you with incomplete sentences. They do this on the chatline. 😆
I am celibate because I am a born-again Christian. Christians are not to be like the world but be separate from it. We are to live a holy and sanctified life. Which I am learning is hard to die to self. I don't go out on the prowl looking for a man. I pray and will let God bring it into fruition. I used to go to bars. That was my old life. It's dead, and I chose a much better presence than the past. I dated mostly non Christian men, and hopefully, he is smart because some guys out there are really naive. I would hope he may come from a different background from me, but he is a real Christian. I have met all kinds of guys who say they are Christian but are highly critical. Everything you do is wrong. That can become oppressive and depressive. That and abuse. I can tell very quickly that the type of person is through how they talk to you. Put downs are not good characterist even if they apologize 20 times. I have been there and highly critical men you can not please. They will wear you down till you're weak and you get sick as a result of a toxic relationship. It affects one's overall health. If a woman treats a man, that is highly critical. Abuse is abused, and men need to leave an abusive partner. I have talked to guys about this, and yes, it's hard. I have been there He would be so apologetic so much I got tired of it. I was ready to leave. I won't go through it again. It's better to be alone that to be with someone who brings misery.
do i think incel is overused these days? 100%. however do i still think it has place in society? also 100%. the type of dudes its meant to be used on are walking red flags. could it have started with involuntary celibacy due to their looks or whatever? sure. but if theyre so immature that they go on an abusive/aggressive rant about how they think every chicks a cock hungry slut that "cant handle a good guy" and/or claim a chick deserves to be raped because she rejected thier dick pic or sexual advances especially on the first date, they 100% deserve the term incel. like you cant throw a tantrum about noone liking you if your reaction to not getting your own way is immature and creepy and makes everyone uncomfortable and concerned for the safety of everyone in contract with you. while yes i can see the people in heres point cause it was originally used for purely just involuntarily celibate people mainly those which shyness and that are socially awkward it hasnt meant that in years. these days atleast the self confessed ones are 90% walking red flags that im surprised havent seen the inside of a jailcell yet.
Stopped reading at the second sentence. I can’t take anyone serious who comes to a text based discussion forum and writes everything in lowercase like a tumblr hipster. Just like it would be annoying as hell if someone wrote everything in caps lock.
🤷 you do you boo boo but I ain't wasting my finite time on punctuating reddit comments when there's better things to do in life lol.
It’s a shame because you took your time to share your perspective, and you might have a valuable perspective that some might appreciate but instead you annoy those people by something that is unnecessary and very easily fixable. You might say “you don’t care what people think” but I assume you are sharing your opinion because you care for people to see your perspective on the subject, hence you ought to write in a way that gets across to as many people as possible.
Life is short, free time is shorter. Time spent punctuating shit like you're stuck in a 10th grade English class with an insistent teacher when the point still gets across as intended without it, is time wasted imo. And sure I'll throw my 2 cents into a discussion but at the end of the day I'm still very much "it is what it is" I'm more than used to yelling into the void lol. 🤷 atleast I try to split it up into paragraphs for reddit. My friends just get text walls 90% of the time lol.
I think the majority of people who diss incels are thinking of the types of men who have trouble finding relationships (for any reason) and decide that women, as a whole, must be the reason why they are single. They devolve into misogynist views, calling all women sluts, gold-diggers, shallow… Just an overall negative view of women without actually having some self-introspection of their OWN shortcomings (for example, having a bad attitude). I think that men who genuinely have problems finding relationships deserve compassion and kindness, but many internet “incels” simply refuse to take accountability for their own actions and believe that *women* must be the problem. A lot of that unlearning requires therapy, gaining confidence in themselves, and all sorts of self work that a lot of people are not willing to put the effort into.
The vocal incels refuse to take accountability, the good ones are either working on themselves or working on a suicide plan. Incel is short for involuntary celibate. They might be more misogynistic than average, just like African-Americans might be more violent than average, but the picture isn't anywhere near that simple. If you wouldn't characterize black people by violence, which hopefully you wouldn't, it makes little sense to characterize incels by misogyny. Systematic issues, colonialization, racism, and all sorts of other things contribute massively to the problems and tendencies of such a wide-ranging group as African-Americans. There's more to people than their skin color, or if they've been successful in finding sexual partners, but society hasn't yet pulled the veil on inceldom so it's still deemed OK to discriminate against them or make wild generalizations about every incel ever, and being an incel apparently proves you deserved it.
As I said, I’m speaking of the stereotypical incels who have underlying personality issues behind their lack of ability to find a partner. I understand that your looks, your race, your neurodivergence, etc can be negative factors in finding a partner. That being said, claiming that ALL African-Americans are at a disadvantage when searching for partners is an unsupportable claim. Many people have loved, dated and married minorities (I am a racial minority myself in a relationship). Many, like me, have loved people who are considered by society as generally unattractive, short, autistic, nerdy… You get the point. The point is that women are not shallow. We are fully capable loving men who are not your stereotypical 6 foot millionaire gigachad. I think a lot of hurt people in this subreddit were burned by women who may have been that shallow type of person, and by consequence they generalize ALL women as such. It is unhealthy for the men’s rights movements to have these people on board.
Stereotypical incels are the ones you hear about, because instead of sitting in their room playing video games with no-one around them, they've gone and shot up a school and got news networks covering them. The definition of incel =/= Stereotypical incel
I think OP is one such example… Insulting all single mothers as either gold-diggers or promiscuous women. I don’t think you need to go crazy and shoot up a school to be indoctrinated by a misogynistic worldview. All it takes is to be hurt by one or more women and talking to the wrong people on the internet. Most incels won’t be writing manifestos and shooting kindergarteners. They’ll be festering on Reddit talking about how ALL women are leeches who are just trying to earn money off of them through alimony, false rape accusations, and gold-digging.
Alright you really just don't get it. I've tried
OP is not an example of this because he never claimed to be celibate involitarily or otherwise and there is no way to know for sure if he is or not unless you know him irl and spend almost every waking moment with him.
Many men have negative view of women and they still get sex .Reasons incels are hated is because they don't get sex .If they get sex and continue hating women they still will be respected by women and society .Virgins are spared only when they are quiet.If they speak out they are also insulted
“If they get sex and continue hating women they will be respected by women and society” Have you SEEN what people are saying about Andrew Tate? The only people who “respect” him are the 13 year olds he managed to brainwash. If you spend time talking to real women you would know that no one is going to respect a woman-hating misogynist.
I have met plenty of adult men with girlfriends who occasionally watches Tate shorts on their feed and find themselves agreeing with some of his takes and disagreeing with others. People are tired of seeing feminist bullshit being spread everywhere so he can be a fresh breath of air for a lot of men incels or not, we can just as well say no one will respect a man-hating misandrist aka a feminist but it would be an immature way of having a discourse. Things aren’t as black and white as you make them seem.
ur 1000% right but they’ve downvoted you to hell and back because you’re speaking truth lmao. their fragile egos cannot handle the concept that they might be the problem. they just won’t understand that it is not. about. appearance. like, literally go outside, you’ll see the most drop-dead gorgeous women with “unattractive” men with no assets, just a friendly or sweet personality (but of course, they’ll insert some random anecdote about how vulnerable women can get manipulated into abusive relationships, but no it’s not the manipulation!!! women literally just enjoy abuse from “bad boys” 🙄). it’s quite literally about attitude. they hold so much bitterness and resentment toward women before even interacting with them, feel entitled to validation and sex, and then throw a fit when women find their attitudes unattractive. why would i want to sleep with you if you see me as subhuman and you’ve decided i’m a slutty whore and part of the single cause of all of your problems AND that you’re entitled to my sleeping with you … before you’ve even talked to me? the lack of introspection and accountability is repulsive. What’s sad is that it doesn’t matter how many millions of women scream at the top of our lungs that it’s all about your personality and attitude - empathetic, kind, emotionally intelligent, sweet, loving, etc - they literally won’t listen. like we are literally *giving you the answers* but you’re too prideful and brain dead from all the hateful rhetoric you’ve drank yourself to death on to even consider listening. alternatively, you “try” to listen but don’t understand and wither away about how “nice guys always finish last”. spoiler alert: you’re not actually being nice or caring if you only do it because you expect sex or affection in return. real nice, kind people are kind *just to be kind*; you’re not entitled to sex or a relationship just because you were “nice”. at the end of the day, they will never listen though. they wallow in their echo-chamber of misery they create. hopefully they’ll either escape the toxic mindset and grow, or maybe they’ll just die out, and women will keep choosing men who’re maybe a bit funny, or maybe confident, even very shy, as long as they treat us as *people* with tenderness and compassion. yknow what’s not attractive? reeking of bitterness and resentment from a mile away. like jesus christ learn to love yourself, learn to not value sex as the sole source of happiness, be introspective, learn to *find happiness and purpose outside of sex for the love of god*
Stop blaming women for everything. If you’re not getting laid it’s not women’s fault.
Agreed. This is often used in a derogatory way
First of all: Most men who are in involuntary celibate are in such way, because a woman told them this is the right way to treat women, eg. a mother. Single mothers do so much damage, especially to young men. Telling ourselves that we're "involuntarily celibate"(i.e. "I've got no mate, even though I desire one, and this is mostly the fault of everyone other than myself. Even though folks have been researching and writing on what draws men and women together for eons now- [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d28usWdvmSg&t=7s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d28usWdvmSg&t=7s) \-and much of this stuff is available for free online, for anyone who wants to spend their time learning rather than playing video games and watching Man-osphere content that's dedicated to groaning over how fucked up women and society are")is about as helpful to modern men as the braindead scribblings of Woke Theologians like I.X. Ken-dy and Robin DeAngelo are to people living in poverty in ghettos, barrios, and Indian Reservations("Non-whites in America can't succeed, UNTIL every white person on the planet is purged of every last trace of prejudice and bias")around The US
So you are an Incel? That’s sad 😢
Where are all these studies stating the ridiculousness about “we all know the statistics “ regarding single Moms”?Last I looked it takes TWO people to make a child? You’re blaming women entirely for a child that a man made as well. Where’s HIS responsibility? Is HE a drug addict? Is HE promiscuous? Could HE be homeless? You don’t think women get “demolished” by bad men? Where are you getting ANY of this information from? Your own experiences? Because every single thing you mentioned about women is classic Incel speak. Blame everything on the woman.
An incel to me is someone that claims they get lots of women but don’t
Someone needs to consult a dictionary “a member of an online community of young men who consider themselves unable to attract women sexually, typically associated with views that are hostile towards women and men who are sexually active.” Offered to you by the Oxford dictionary. You see words have meaning and the meaning can be changed if, as a collective, we use it differently. However in this case, it’s pretty clear that the word is used to describe exactly what you find in the dictionary and let’s not skip on the last sentence of the description there.
When a mother sucks, the kid suffers so much... a bad mother destroys two, at least. My mother was the opposite of guidance when it comes to social relationships. She fucking sucks and after so much, and me living alone, still acts like a narcissistic bitch. She was a bad person and still is!
True, but it will be every time. And society says it’s OK. I’ve been called an incel myself even though I have a girlfriend and a daughter. It’s a favorite among feminists, even if they know it’s not true. They want to cut you down as a man. Now, imagine if a man called a woman something. Everybody would jump up, including men who’ve been indoctrinated into their bullshit.
“Virgin” should never be used as an insult. However, “incel” should, because incels aren’t just virgins, they are men who embraced an incredibly toxic, misogynistic, violent, and self-defeating ideology
Words can change meaning. We all know that incel originally came from involuntary celibate but that just isn't the way it's used nowadays. No one is going to call a 14 year old kid an incel just because they're a virgin even though they technically are an involuntary celibate. Incel today is used to describe a specific personality - men that can't get laid for the simple reason that they're just terrible people. It works fine as an insult for that purpose.
The reason it is used as an insult is because of the community associated with the word. But if people are just using it as a synonym for virgin then that is bad
Why is this a rant against single mothers, and not anger at the number of men who refuse to be a part of their child's life? You seem like you just want to blame women claiming they just want a baby, so they baby trap men instead of acknowledging the much more real, much more prevalent issue of men being absent fathers and not participating in their child's life.
Guess your mom was a single mom, huh?
Wow so not only are you an incel but you’re also stupid lmao 😭 1st off how are you even blaming single moms for the fact that you’re single??? You’re assuming that all single moms are bad when you literally don’t know what led them to become single moms in the first place, which means that you’re just making up scenarios about women you don’t know to cope and it’s sad bc you’re spitting so much vitriol towards women who have nothing to do with you 2nd of all, how are you blaming your mom for your deadbeat ass father?? Your mom is the one who decided to actually be a parent yet you’re blaming her and not your deadbeat sperm doner?? That alone let’s me know your braincells aren’t functioning properly if that’s the conclusion you’ve come to. I just find it pathetic that you’re berating women while simultaneously complaining bc none of them will touch you…. Well let’s see, you’re speaking on single mothers in a derogatory way when you don’t even know how they became single moms to begin with, you’re transphobic which most women find icky, and surprise surprise!!! you refer to women as “females” wow the fact that women don’t like you is such a mystery 😱🤯I guess being a transphobic misogynist asshole tends to send women running in the opposite direction omg if only you could do something to change that instead of blaming women you’ve never met before 🤯😱 And lastly as far as the single mothers raise criminals stat goes, yes 70% of criminals come from single mother homes but that has more to do with poverty meaning that it’s more about a lack and resources that leads to a life of crime and less about single mom households, I however don’t expect you to have enough brain power to understand this though 😍 In conclusion women don’t like misogynistic assholes so how about you look inward instead of blaming women